1 00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:14,950 Good night, everybody. See you next time. 2 00:01:15,008 --> 00:01:17,420 - Nice going, AI. - It wasn't my fault. 3 00:01:17,477 --> 00:01:19,650 - Yes, it was. - No, it wasn't. 4 00:01:22,148 --> 00:01:24,150 Thanks for wrecking another show, AI. 5 00:01:24,217 --> 00:01:26,959 Well, you're the one that stuck your foot in the joint compound, Tim. 6 00:01:27,020 --> 00:01:28,556 That you left right behind me. On purpose. 7 00:01:28,621 --> 00:01:29,929 - I did not. - Did too. 8 00:01:29,989 --> 00:01:31,559 - Not. - Too! 9 00:01:31,624 --> 00:01:34,230 Could you help me out of the bucket, please? 10 00:01:35,161 --> 00:01:38,108 - OK, here. Brace yourself. - Al, Al, Al! 11 00:01:38,164 --> 00:01:41,634 Tim! Tim, Mr. Binford's looking for you. 12 00:01:41,701 --> 00:01:44,079 Oh, great! Great! 13 00:01:44,137 --> 00:01:47,277 The sponsor shows up, and I'm stuck in a bucket. 14 00:01:47,340 --> 00:01:49,411 AI, thanks for the book. 15 00:01:49,476 --> 00:01:51,285 It means a lot to me. 16 00:01:51,344 --> 00:01:53,346 Oh, Al. 17 00:01:55,081 --> 00:01:57,118 - What was that all about? - Nothing, Tim. 18 00:01:57,183 --> 00:02:00,756 It's just, she and I are both big Bob Vila fans. 19 00:02:00,820 --> 00:02:03,767 You know, he's in town signing his new book. 20 00:02:03,823 --> 00:02:08,203 Isn't that wonderful. Just get my shoe out of the bucket, please? 21 00:02:08,261 --> 00:02:13,176 Well, I can't believe it. I actually got to talk to the pioneer in home repair. 22 00:02:13,233 --> 00:02:14,712 The pioneer? 23 00:02:14,767 --> 00:02:18,772 Without Bob Vila, there would be no Tool Time. He paved the way. 24 00:02:18,838 --> 00:02:24,481 Listen, AI. Any paving done on Tool Time was done by me, the big asphalt. 25 00:02:24,544 --> 00:02:27,491 Taylor! Oh, Taylor! 26 00:02:27,547 --> 00:02:29,891 - Back here, Mr. Binford. - Hi, Borland. 27 00:02:34,754 --> 00:02:38,463 - Boy, have I got a surprise for you. - Well, great, boss. 28 00:02:38,525 --> 00:02:40,505 Guess who's gonna be on the show tomorrow afternoon. 29 00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:42,369 - Ahh... - Bob Vila. 30 00:02:44,464 --> 00:02:46,944 - Really? - Hell of a idea, isn't it? 31 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:50,174 Great. He's the pioneer of home repair. 32 00:02:50,236 --> 00:02:52,648 Darn right. We'll sell some tools too. 33 00:02:52,705 --> 00:02:55,311 Oops. I see a vision. 34 00:02:57,377 --> 00:02:59,880 - A competition. - A competition? 35 00:02:59,946 --> 00:03:05,294 Friendly but fierce. Between our Taylor and Bob Vila. 36 00:03:05,351 --> 00:03:08,195 We'll call it "Stump the Tool Man." 37 00:03:08,254 --> 00:03:12,100 - A very good idea, Mr. Binford. - Don't suck up to me, Borland. 38 00:03:12,158 --> 00:03:14,536 Every red-blooded male will be calling in, 39 00:03:14,594 --> 00:03:19,304 wanting to know if Taylor or Bob Vila is king of the home repair. 40 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:23,181 John, do we really need competition on this show? 41 00:03:23,236 --> 00:03:25,739 You're not afraid, are you, Timmy? 42 00:03:27,807 --> 00:03:29,650 Of Bob Vila? No, no, no. 43 00:03:29,709 --> 00:03:33,589 Good. You'll represent me - be selling a hell of lot of tools. 44 00:03:33,646 --> 00:03:37,526 Have yourself a good time and kick Bob's butt. 45 00:03:39,986 --> 00:03:42,762 OK, stump the tool man. Ask me a hard one. 46 00:03:42,822 --> 00:03:45,962 OK. You're attaching two-by-fours to a concrete foundation. 47 00:03:46,025 --> 00:03:48,665 - What tool do you use? - Piece of cake. 48 00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:53,108 Electro-pneumatic rotary hammer drill. Low vibration, variable speed. Yes! 49 00:03:53,166 --> 00:03:55,544 - Come on, another one - hard one. - Come on, Tim. Give it a rest. 50 00:03:55,602 --> 00:03:59,379 There's no way you are ever gonna know all the stuff in these books. 51 00:03:59,439 --> 00:04:01,885 Honey, Bob Vila knows everything in these books. 52 00:04:01,941 --> 00:04:04,444 That's because he wrote most of them. 53 00:04:06,846 --> 00:04:09,417 That sure makes me feel better. 54 00:04:09,482 --> 00:04:12,952 Are you afraid big, bad Bob is gonna make you look foolish? 55 00:04:13,019 --> 00:04:15,795 Better men than him have made me look foolish. 56 00:04:17,023 --> 00:04:18,900 That didn't sound right, did it? 57 00:04:18,958 --> 00:04:21,404 - Ask me another question. - Wait a sec. 58 00:04:22,462 --> 00:04:24,066 Hello? 59 00:04:24,130 --> 00:04:26,167 Oh, hello, Mrs. Woolitt. 60 00:04:29,869 --> 00:04:31,871 He did what? 61 00:04:32,805 --> 00:04:37,049 Oh, I am so sorry. Well, I promise it'll never happen again. 62 00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:40,557 Listen, I'll send him over right away to apologize. 63 00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:44,390 Oh, you did? Oh, well, OK. That'll be fine. 64 00:04:44,450 --> 00:04:46,123 Thanks. Goodbye. 65 00:04:46,185 --> 00:04:48,461 Randall William Taylor, get in here. I wanna talk to you. 66 00:04:48,521 --> 00:04:50,592 Middle name. He's in trouble. 67 00:04:51,991 --> 00:04:55,131 Randy yanked the shoes off of a kid at school 68 00:04:55,194 --> 00:04:57,834 and filled them with Cheez Whiz. 69 00:05:00,366 --> 00:05:03,176 Mom, you don't understand. He's a total geek. 70 00:05:03,236 --> 00:05:06,706 - Don't call him that. - What am I supposed to call him? 71 00:05:06,773 --> 00:05:08,844 How about "the whiz kid"? 72 00:05:08,908 --> 00:05:12,856 - Tim! - Cheese and everything... 73 00:05:12,912 --> 00:05:16,587 Randy, this is not like you. Why would you do something like this? 74 00:05:16,649 --> 00:05:19,459 Mom, Curtis is the most annoying kid on Earth. 75 00:05:19,519 --> 00:05:23,160 - It's true. He drives everybody crazy. - Well, I don't care. 76 00:05:23,222 --> 00:05:27,295 Curtis is coming over here, and I want you to apologize to him. 77 00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:31,137 - OK, honey. Ask me another one. - All right. One more, and that is all. 78 00:05:31,197 --> 00:05:33,473 What is an adze? 79 00:05:33,533 --> 00:05:36,776 - A-D-Z-E. - That's a tool? 80 00:05:36,836 --> 00:05:41,114 Yeah, it's right here. "Adze: A medieval wood-shaping tool." 81 00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:46,119 Get real. What are the chances somebody will call and ask about that? 82 00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:48,523 Might be good. If I'm the one calling. 83 00:05:48,581 --> 00:05:52,427 Hey, hey, hey. Pretty sly. 84 00:05:52,485 --> 00:05:54,863 What are the chances Bob Vila's gonna know that? 85 00:05:54,921 --> 00:05:57,197 I know why I love you sometimes. 86 00:05:57,256 --> 00:06:02,399 In case I get in trouble, I'm gonna look at the camera, I'll scratch like this. 87 00:06:02,462 --> 00:06:04,464 And I'll say, "Let's go to a female caller." 88 00:06:04,530 --> 00:06:09,240 You call this number, and Kathy will patch you right through the switchboard to me. 89 00:06:09,302 --> 00:06:11,145 OK. 90 00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:13,844 That must be Curtis. Randy! 91 00:06:15,074 --> 00:06:18,248 - Come on, Mark. Let's get out of here. - I want to meet him. 92 00:06:18,311 --> 00:06:20,484 No, you don't. He's a bigger geek than you are. 93 00:06:20,546 --> 00:06:22,253 WOW! 94 00:06:25,551 --> 00:06:29,431 Curtis, I believe that Randy has something that he wants to say to you. 95 00:06:31,624 --> 00:06:34,127 Sorry about the Cheez Whiz. 96 00:06:34,193 --> 00:06:37,470 Thanks. I feel much better now. 97 00:06:37,530 --> 00:06:40,534 - Curtis, this is Randy's dad, Mr. Taylor. - Hi, Curtis. How are you? 98 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:43,308 - My father and I watch Tool Time- - Good. 99 00:06:43,369 --> 00:06:45,406 We really like AI. 100 00:06:48,441 --> 00:06:50,682 We all like AI. 101 00:06:51,377 --> 00:06:53,379 He is a geek. 102 00:06:53,446 --> 00:06:55,255 See ya, female caller. 103 00:06:55,314 --> 00:06:57,988 Good luck, big bad Tim. 104 00:06:59,051 --> 00:07:01,292 May I please have something to drink? 105 00:07:01,354 --> 00:07:04,858 Yeah. Randy, would you get your guest a soda? 106 00:07:04,924 --> 00:07:08,098 Mrs. Taylor, you look a lot older than my mom. 107 00:07:11,798 --> 00:07:14,142 How old are you? 108 00:07:14,901 --> 00:07:17,142 Old enough not to answer that question. 109 00:07:17,203 --> 00:07:20,480 Curtis that's what my grandma says. 110 00:07:35,087 --> 00:07:38,261 Thank you. Welcome, everybody. This is Tim "the tool man" Taylor, 111 00:07:38,324 --> 00:07:41,737 and welcome to a special live edition of Tool Time. Today on the show we're... 112 00:07:41,794 --> 00:07:44,798 It's special because we have a very special guest. 113 00:07:44,864 --> 00:07:48,311 Why don't we let the audience decide just how special the guest is, AI? 114 00:07:48,367 --> 00:07:50,472 I'm sure a lot of you have seen his show and maybe read his books. 115 00:07:50,536 --> 00:07:53,346 Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Mr. Bob Vila. 116 00:08:05,284 --> 00:08:07,958 Thank you. Thank you. 117 00:08:11,824 --> 00:08:14,964 What a great audience. Just a wonderful audience. 118 00:08:15,995 --> 00:08:19,636 Thank you. It's just so great to be here on your show, Jim. 119 00:08:19,699 --> 00:08:21,645 It's Tim. 120 00:08:21,701 --> 00:08:24,238 - I'd like you to meet my assistant. - Oh, AI and I've met. 121 00:08:24,303 --> 00:08:25,748 How you doing? Good to see you again. 122 00:08:25,805 --> 00:08:29,343 - The pleasure is mine, Mr. Vila. - Call me Bob. 123 00:08:29,408 --> 00:08:31,388 I can't. 124 00:08:31,444 --> 00:08:34,152 Well, why don't we get started. Bob, you can sit down over here. 125 00:08:34,213 --> 00:08:37,319 Before we get to our project, we have a little friendly competition 126 00:08:37,383 --> 00:08:38,794 called "Stump the Tool Man." 127 00:08:38,851 --> 00:08:40,524 - Oh, that'll be fun. - It sure will. 128 00:08:40,586 --> 00:08:42,930 Now, if you have any questions about home improvement or tools, 129 00:08:42,989 --> 00:08:45,868 I want you to call 555-TOOL. 130 00:08:45,925 --> 00:08:50,203 That's 555-T-O-O-L. 131 00:08:52,965 --> 00:08:55,275 Why don't we go to that first caller? 132 00:08:56,269 --> 00:08:59,409 - Hi. This is Clarence. - Hi, Clarence. What's your problem? 133 00:08:59,472 --> 00:09:03,181 My wife is always changing her mind where pictures should be hung. 134 00:09:03,242 --> 00:09:05,848 Hey, we can't help with that. Women can never make up their minds, can they? 135 00:09:05,912 --> 00:09:07,220 Tell me about it. 136 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:11,626 Our walls are so full of holes, they're starting to look like Swiss cheese. 137 00:09:11,684 --> 00:09:13,960 - Got any ideas? - Oh, yeah. 138 00:09:14,020 --> 00:09:16,432 I'd slap some ham on that wall and have a sandwich. 139 00:09:19,759 --> 00:09:22,933 Uh... you know, the cheese and... 140 00:09:22,995 --> 00:09:25,566 Anyway, the best way 141 00:09:25,631 --> 00:09:29,340 to fix a nail hole would be use joint compound. Get a putty knife... 142 00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:32,178 Uh, I really think spackle would be a better idea. 143 00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:35,776 - I agree with Mr. Vila. - I'm sure you do, AI. 144 00:09:35,841 --> 00:09:38,219 Clarence, you want to use the spackle with that putty knife 145 00:09:38,277 --> 00:09:40,188 and very carefully fill in all those little holes. 146 00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:42,453 And then you just sand them smooth and touch them up with some paint. 147 00:09:42,515 --> 00:09:44,290 The walls will be like new. 148 00:09:44,350 --> 00:09:47,194 Well, I believe this round goes to Mr. Vila. 149 00:09:49,689 --> 00:09:52,795 - We're not keeping score, AI. - I am. 150 00:09:53,926 --> 00:09:55,428 Hi, there. 151 00:09:55,494 --> 00:09:57,565 - Hi, this is Chet. - Hi, Chet. 152 00:09:57,630 --> 00:10:00,634 Tim, I try to catch your show whenever I can. 153 00:10:00,700 --> 00:10:05,445 - Thank you, Chet. I appreciate that. - And, Bob, I never miss yours. 154 00:10:06,739 --> 00:10:07,740 Hey, thanks a lot. 155 00:10:07,807 --> 00:10:10,413 Yeah, I'm really looking forward to reading your new book. 156 00:10:10,476 --> 00:10:13,423 Quit the chitchat, Chet, and let's get with that question. 157 00:10:13,479 --> 00:10:16,892 Well, I was wondering... I'm remodeling my house, 158 00:10:16,949 --> 00:10:20,897 and I would like to know, what was the name of that wood 159 00:10:20,953 --> 00:10:27,063 that you used on the ceiling of that old cracker house in Naples, Florida? 160 00:10:27,126 --> 00:10:28,230 What? 161 00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:31,707 The house we had on the show - yeah, that was pesky cypress. 162 00:10:31,764 --> 00:10:35,735 - Thanks, Bob. - I believe that's two points for Mr. Vila. 163 00:10:36,435 --> 00:10:41,145 - Well, how am I supposed to know that? - Perhaps if you watched Mr. Vila's show... 164 00:10:41,207 --> 00:10:42,845 You know, this isn't fair. We should get a question 165 00:10:42,908 --> 00:10:45,718 that both of us have an equal chance of answering. 166 00:10:45,778 --> 00:10:48,952 Why don't we go to a female caller? 167 00:10:49,915 --> 00:10:52,122 - Hello? - Is there a female caller there? 168 00:10:52,184 --> 00:10:53,891 Timbo, is that you? I got this... 169 00:10:54,820 --> 00:10:57,460 - Is this Tim Taylor? - Do we have a female caller out there? 170 00:10:57,523 --> 00:11:00,402 Randy, have you seen a piece of paper with a phone number on it? 171 00:11:00,459 --> 00:11:01,460 No, Mom. 172 00:11:01,527 --> 00:11:05,168 Yes, Mother, I'm having a very nice time. 173 00:11:05,231 --> 00:11:07,939 No, our house is definitely cleaner. 174 00:11:08,968 --> 00:11:11,915 Curtis, have you seen a piece of paper with a phone number on it? 175 00:11:11,971 --> 00:11:14,474 I threw my gum away in it. 176 00:11:17,009 --> 00:11:20,252 Yes, Mother. She's very nice. 177 00:11:20,312 --> 00:11:23,350 No, much heavier than you. 178 00:11:26,385 --> 00:11:28,296 Mother? Mother? 179 00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:32,268 And to make sure they line up, /it's a good idea to use a doweling jig, 180 00:11:32,324 --> 00:11:36,204 'cause remember, a job worth doing is a job worth doing right. 181 00:11:36,262 --> 00:11:38,708 Goes without saying, doesn't it, Bob? 182 00:11:39,765 --> 00:11:43,542 Still waiting for that female caller. Still waiting for that female caller. 183 00:11:43,602 --> 00:11:46,173 - Hello? - Hello. What's your name? 184 00:11:46,238 --> 00:11:49,412 This is Jill... ene. Uh, Jillene. 185 00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:57,918 Hello, Jill... Jillene. What's your question? 186 00:11:57,983 --> 00:12:00,725 Well, ifs kind of a hard one. 187 00:12:00,786 --> 00:12:03,232 Well, I think one of us will be able to answer it. 188 00:12:03,289 --> 00:12:09,240 OK. Can you tell me the name of a medieval wood-shaping tool? 189 00:12:09,295 --> 00:12:12,868 Ooh, that's hard. Um... 190 00:12:12,932 --> 00:12:15,811 maybe you'd like to handle this one, Bob. 191 00:12:15,868 --> 00:12:19,975 I'd love to. I think Jillene's probably thinking about something called an adze. 192 00:12:20,039 --> 00:12:25,079 Tim nice try, Bob, but the tool you're... How the hell did you know that? 193 00:12:27,113 --> 00:12:28,888 Let's get back to our project. 194 00:12:28,948 --> 00:12:34,398 As you recall, last time we were trying to put a new doorway into an existing wall. 195 00:12:34,453 --> 00:12:36,694 As you can see by our mock-up here, 196 00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:40,135 we've got our jack studs in place. Now we're gonna put our header in. 197 00:12:40,192 --> 00:12:43,571 So, are you planning on using a doubled-up two-by-eight? 198 00:12:43,629 --> 00:12:45,472 No, I'm not, Bob. 199 00:12:45,531 --> 00:12:47,636 I'm thinking about using that beefy boy over there, 200 00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:50,681 a four-by-eight big piece of American Doug fir. 201 00:12:50,736 --> 00:12:52,511 Doug fir. Hmm. OK. 202 00:12:52,571 --> 00:12:56,144 And, folks, it's a good idea to use your framing square at this point in the job, 203 00:12:56,208 --> 00:12:58,518 'cause you wanna make sure this header goes in there nice and level. 204 00:12:58,577 --> 00:12:59,647 Excellent point, Mr. Vila. 205 00:12:59,712 --> 00:13:02,591 Yeah, there's nothing worse than trying to hang a door in an opening that isn't true. 206 00:13:02,648 --> 00:13:05,424 - How true, how true. - AI, I was gonna get to that. 207 00:13:11,357 --> 00:13:12,427 Tim? 208 00:13:12,491 --> 00:13:15,301 We'll be back after these messages from Binford. 209 00:13:15,361 --> 00:13:17,432 Cut! Cut! 210 00:13:19,532 --> 00:13:22,172 Just what in the world do you think you're doing? 211 00:13:22,234 --> 00:13:26,512 You've associated the name of Binford Tools with the killing of Bob Vila! 212 00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:30,147 That's a little harsh, the word "kill," isn't it? I winged the guy. 213 00:13:30,209 --> 00:13:33,747 I started this company with one wrench and the sweat of my brow. 214 00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:36,157 I'm not about to flush it down the crapper now. 215 00:13:36,215 --> 00:13:39,196 - You don't understand. - No, you don't understand. 216 00:13:39,251 --> 00:13:43,131 I've got six daughters and nobody wants to marry 'em. 217 00:13:44,190 --> 00:13:47,103 Well, Mr. Binford, I always thought Maureen was quite lovely. 218 00:13:47,159 --> 00:13:50,197 Can it, Borland. Doc, what does it look like? 219 00:13:50,262 --> 00:13:51,707 Well, he seems to be OK, 220 00:13:51,764 --> 00:13:54,108 But I think we should get him to the emergency room to get checked out. 221 00:13:54,166 --> 00:13:56,009 That's a good idea. OK, Bob, let's go. 222 00:13:56,068 --> 00:13:58,878 Listen, that was just a little ol' piece of wood that hit you. 223 00:13:58,938 --> 00:14:01,111 I took a grenade during the war. 224 00:14:01,173 --> 00:14:06,088 Yeah, listen. I've got a fine miter box I want to show you, too. It really cuts the... 225 00:14:06,145 --> 00:14:08,648 Well, AI, I hope you're satisfied. 226 00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:12,322 - Well, what did I do? - Well, you distracted me. 227 00:14:12,384 --> 00:14:15,058 That's why I whacked him, Mr. Negativity. 228 00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:18,533 I think you did this on purpose because he beat you at "Stump the Tool Man." 229 00:14:18,591 --> 00:14:21,435 Oh, come on. He didn't beat me. 230 00:14:21,493 --> 00:14:26,238 - You even cheated. You had Jill call in. - That wasn't Jill. 231 00:14:27,733 --> 00:14:30,043 I would never have my wife call in. 232 00:14:30,102 --> 00:14:34,050 Well, you don't have to worry about that since you'll never be married. 233 00:14:37,576 --> 00:14:40,216 AI, that came out wrong. I didn't mean it like that. 234 00:14:40,279 --> 00:14:43,319 You'll have a wife one of these days. If you don't, you'll have a girlfriend. 235 00:14:43,382 --> 00:14:47,262 Somebody who really likes you. Not just some desperate woman. 236 00:14:51,423 --> 00:14:52,724 Oh, he's so sensitive. 237 00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:53,725 Oh, he's so sensitive. 238 00:14:55,661 --> 00:14:57,698 Really? Tomorrow? 239 00:14:57,763 --> 00:15:01,836 Well, Mr. Vila must be a good sport. 240 00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:03,903 OK, yes, sir. I will tell him. 241 00:15:03,969 --> 00:15:05,277 Goodbye. 242 00:15:05,337 --> 00:15:06,475 What's going on? 243 00:15:06,538 --> 00:15:09,109 Bob Vila agreed to be on the show tomorrow. 244 00:15:09,174 --> 00:15:12,712 Why? Does he want to get hit in the head again? 245 00:15:12,778 --> 00:15:14,416 No, Curtis. 246 00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:17,359 Don't you think you're cooking the carrots too long? 247 00:15:17,416 --> 00:15:19,020 No, I don't, Curtis. 248 00:15:19,084 --> 00:15:23,396 - I don't like them when they're soggy. - They're not going to get soggy, Curtis. 249 00:15:23,455 --> 00:15:26,925 We should have a green vegetable with those. Zucchini would be nice. 250 00:15:26,992 --> 00:15:31,668 You know what would really be nice, Curtis? If you would just shut the... 251 00:15:32,898 --> 00:15:35,606 Say it, Mom. 252 00:15:38,337 --> 00:15:41,978 Randy, honey, would you take Curtis up to your room now? Please? 253 00:15:42,041 --> 00:15:44,317 All right. Let's go, Curtis. 254 00:15:44,376 --> 00:15:46,413 - Oh, hi, honey. - Hi. 255 00:15:46,478 --> 00:15:48,185 Are you OK? 256 00:15:48,247 --> 00:15:49,692 Yeah. 257 00:15:49,748 --> 00:15:53,355 I just hope I don't hear the name Bob Vila again. 258 00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:57,563 Well, Mr. Binford called. 259 00:15:57,623 --> 00:15:59,603 God. What now? 260 00:15:59,658 --> 00:16:02,605 Somebody has agreed to come back and be on the show. 261 00:16:02,661 --> 00:16:06,006 I'm not saying who, but it was someone you hit with a board. 262 00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:10,910 - Bob Vila? - Was there somebody else? 263 00:16:12,338 --> 00:16:16,343 No, Jill. I'm cutting back. I'm just knocking out one guy a week now. 264 00:16:19,411 --> 00:16:24,019 Mr. Binford thinks that you should work things outwith Bob... on the air. 265 00:16:24,083 --> 00:16:26,154 Work what out? It was Al's fault. He distracted me and I hit him. 266 00:16:26,218 --> 00:16:27,754 - How many times I gotta tell people? - Don't get snippy with me. 267 00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:31,768 - I didn't hit him with a four-by-four. - It was a four-by-eight. 268 00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:34,668 Oh, but you were the one that said, "He won't know what an adze is." 269 00:16:34,727 --> 00:16:39,574 Oh, now it's my fault. I didn't say, "Why don't you take the question, Bob?" 270 00:16:39,631 --> 00:16:42,237 I have a rough day, I come home looking for a little support. 271 00:16:42,301 --> 00:16:46,340 You had a rough day? I got stuck in this house all day with that little... 272 00:16:46,405 --> 00:16:47,941 Curtis. 273 00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:51,113 Mrs. Taylor, after seeing Randy's room, 274 00:16:51,176 --> 00:16:54,680 I don't think my mom would want me to eat here. 275 00:16:54,747 --> 00:16:56,488 What a shame. 276 00:16:56,548 --> 00:16:59,859 Well... goodbye. 277 00:16:59,918 --> 00:17:03,263 It's starting to get dark. Could someone drive me home? 278 00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:09,635 Get your coat. I'm gonna run you home. 279 00:17:12,264 --> 00:17:16,508 If you're gonna drive him home, make sure there are air holes in the trunk. 280 00:17:22,408 --> 00:17:25,582 - Howdy, Wilson. - Hi-ho, neighbor. 281 00:17:25,644 --> 00:17:29,114 - What are you cooking? - Boiling up some willow bark. 282 00:17:29,181 --> 00:17:31,718 It's an old-folk remedy for a headache. 283 00:17:32,484 --> 00:17:34,930 - I got aspirin. - No. 284 00:17:35,954 --> 00:17:37,592 Tim, it wouldn't be the same. 285 00:17:37,656 --> 00:17:42,298 Mankind may have given me the headache, but nature will take it away. 286 00:17:42,361 --> 00:17:45,706 - Sure could've used that today. - Mm? Bad day today? 287 00:17:45,764 --> 00:17:49,075 The worst. I yell at Jill, 288 00:17:49,134 --> 00:17:53,583 I insult AI, and I knocked a guest out on my show with a four-by-eight. 289 00:17:53,639 --> 00:17:57,451 - Hmm-mm-mm. That is a bad day. - Well... 290 00:17:58,444 --> 00:18:00,515 Who was your guest, by the way? 291 00:18:00,579 --> 00:18:03,583 You wouldn't know him. He's the pioneer of home repair. 292 00:18:03,649 --> 00:18:06,425 Oh, you mean Bob Vila! 293 00:18:08,854 --> 00:18:12,097 - You know him? - Oh, everybody knows Bob. 294 00:18:12,157 --> 00:18:14,103 I can see how a guy like that might intimidate you, though. 295 00:18:14,159 --> 00:18:15,900 He knows an awful lot about tools. 296 00:18:15,961 --> 00:18:17,838 That's just it. Why would he intimidate me? 297 00:18:17,896 --> 00:18:21,002 Why does everybody think he knows more about tools than I do? 298 00:18:21,066 --> 00:18:23,273 Well, does he, Tim? 299 00:18:23,335 --> 00:18:25,440 - Yeah. - Mm-hmm. 300 00:18:25,504 --> 00:18:28,348 He even knew what an adze was without cheating. 301 00:18:28,407 --> 00:18:31,354 Yes, the old medieval wood-shaping tool. 302 00:18:35,414 --> 00:18:38,088 - How am I supposed to top that? - Oh, you can't, Tim. 303 00:18:38,150 --> 00:18:40,926 So I go back on my show and look like a fool again. 304 00:18:40,986 --> 00:18:45,298 Tim, Tim, Tim. The first step for greatness is humbling yourself. 305 00:18:48,861 --> 00:18:53,469 Maybe you shouldn't try to have all the answers, and instead ask more questions. 306 00:18:53,532 --> 00:18:58,208 You see, Tim, a truly wise man always has more questions than answers. 307 00:18:59,838 --> 00:19:03,581 So... would that make me wiser than you, Wilson? 308 00:19:04,443 --> 00:19:07,253 Well, what do you think, Tim? 309 00:19:27,966 --> 00:19:32,506 Well, we've finished putting in that door. And something is still missing. 310 00:19:32,571 --> 00:19:35,984 The light switch to our beautiful chandelier. 311 00:19:36,041 --> 00:19:39,853 Before we install the light switch, I'd like to point out another bright spot, 312 00:19:39,912 --> 00:19:43,553 my assistant, AI, who is a very special guy. 313 00:19:43,615 --> 00:19:45,322 Well, thank you, Tim. 314 00:19:45,384 --> 00:19:48,297 And I'd also like to mention to you ladies that he's single and very available. 315 00:19:48,353 --> 00:19:51,334 Uh, Tim, are we ready for our special guest? 316 00:19:51,390 --> 00:19:53,461 Oh, right you are, AI. 317 00:19:53,525 --> 00:19:58,634 Let's welcome back to the show a fully repaired and healed up Mr. Bob Vila. 318 00:20:09,474 --> 00:20:13,752 - It's not like I'm gonna hit ya. - I'll just hang back here with Al, all right? 319 00:20:13,812 --> 00:20:18,625 Fine, fine. 'Cause I'm a humble enough guy to admit when I've made a mistake. 320 00:20:18,684 --> 00:20:21,187 And we had a bad accident on the show last time, 321 00:20:21,253 --> 00:20:24,996 and I want to say that I take full blame for that. 322 00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:28,664 Tim, I accept your apology. Can I go now? 323 00:20:28,727 --> 00:20:31,298 Well, I was hoping you'd help us put in the wall switch. 324 00:20:31,363 --> 00:20:35,072 Well, you're the expert, Tim. You really should install the switch. 325 00:20:35,133 --> 00:20:37,409 Well, I have to be humble enough to say 326 00:20:37,469 --> 00:20:40,507 that I really don't know all there is to know about home repair. 327 00:20:40,572 --> 00:20:42,609 Well, Tim, you surprise me. 328 00:20:42,674 --> 00:20:46,588 Oh, come on, AI. This is Bob Vila, the big kahuna of home repair. 329 00:20:46,645 --> 00:20:49,524 And I think the audience would like to see him in action. What do you think, folks? 330 00:20:49,581 --> 00:20:51,151 Come on. 331 00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:57,027 Well, what the heck. 332 00:20:57,089 --> 00:21:01,037 I mean, electrical work is not my strong point, Tim, but this is pretty simple stuff. 333 00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:03,471 I assume you've knocked out the hole and fed the wires through there. 334 00:21:03,528 --> 00:21:05,769 - That would be these three here. - And then the very important thing is 335 00:21:05,831 --> 00:21:09,836 to make sure they're clamped down securely with a lock nut connector. 336 00:21:09,901 --> 00:21:14,475 I was in Scotland this year, and I actually saw the lock nut connector. 337 00:21:20,078 --> 00:21:22,058 Connect away, Bob. 338 00:21:22,114 --> 00:21:25,095 Tim, are you sure you turned off the electricity? 339 00:21:26,752 --> 00:21:28,425 That goes without saying, AI. 340 00:21:28,487 --> 00:21:31,093 Well, now that we've said it, have you done it? 341 00:21:31,156 --> 00:21:33,830 Tim, it's your show. I think you should install the switch. 342 00:21:33,892 --> 00:21:36,372 Oh, you're the guest. Go on, go on. 343 00:21:37,029 --> 00:21:39,839 AI, would you do this? Please. 344 00:21:39,898 --> 00:21:42,469 I don't think so, Bob. 345 00:21:44,436 --> 00:21:46,279 Oh, come on, you guys. 346 00:21:46,338 --> 00:21:48,477 - What the heck. I'll put it in. - Go for it. 347 00:21:48,540 --> 00:21:51,077 It's a simple socket switch. 348 00:21:51,143 --> 00:21:54,386 Wiring is very simple. I just thought Bob'd like to take a shot at it. 349 00:21:54,446 --> 00:21:58,861 Wiring's very simple with these... I got a little... There, OK. 350 00:21:58,917 --> 00:22:02,694 Now, green, of course, like the ground, is green. 351 00:22:02,754 --> 00:22:05,496 White is hot and... No, white... 352 00:22:05,557 --> 00:22:07,798 Well, hot... What is this one here? 353 00:22:20,872 --> 00:22:23,011 Aaah! 354 00:22:25,477 --> 00:22:28,151 - Curtis is coming! - Oh, no. 355 00:22:28,213 --> 00:22:29,954 - Curtis is coming! - He's almost here! 356 00:22:30,015 --> 00:22:32,154 Brad, get the lights. Everybody hide. 357 00:22:32,217 --> 00:22:34,823 Shh, shh, shh! Don't make a sound. 358 00:22:34,886 --> 00:22:36,627 Shh. 359 00:22:39,458 --> 00:22:43,873 Is anybody home? Hello! 360 00:22:46,965 --> 00:22:49,639 I saw your lights on! 361 00:22:51,870 --> 00:22:55,249 My mom said I could stay overnight! 362 00:22:56,341 --> 00:22:59,117 But you have to let me in first! 363 00:23:00,979 --> 00:23:03,516 I know you're in there! 364 00:23:03,582 --> 00:23:05,789 Hello!