1 00:01:12,772 --> 00:01:15,912 Dad, when's this gonna look like a birdhouse? 2 00:01:15,975 --> 00:01:20,117 Soon, son. Very soon. Remember, God is in the details, 3 00:01:20,180 --> 00:01:24,287 and details are what make me a craftsman... and you a craftsboy. 4 00:01:26,686 --> 00:01:29,132 So what are you making now? 5 00:01:29,189 --> 00:01:31,567 - Fireplace. - A fireplace? 6 00:01:31,624 --> 00:01:37,097 Yes. Even birds need a place to put their bowling trophies on. 7 00:01:37,163 --> 00:01:40,474 Ooh, ooh. You know what? I have some really cute 8 00:01:40,533 --> 00:01:44,037 little lace curtains from an old dollhouse of mine in the attic. 9 00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:46,106 I was saving it for the daughter we never had. 10 00:01:46,172 --> 00:01:48,846 No, no. This is a man's birdhouse. 11 00:01:48,908 --> 00:01:51,787 The next thing we put in is a leather recliner. 12 00:01:51,845 --> 00:01:55,019 So that little bird can kick back, put his thin little legs up on the ottoman, 13 00:01:55,081 --> 00:01:59,530 pick up the paper, read it, put it back on the floor, and poop on the paper. 14 00:02:01,054 --> 00:02:03,125 Well, you're the expert. 15 00:02:03,189 --> 00:02:07,535 All right. Mark, this has got to dry for about 30 minutes 16 00:02:07,594 --> 00:02:11,940 and then we install the Jacuzzi. 17 00:02:11,998 --> 00:02:14,103 You know, I could live in this house. 18 00:02:14,167 --> 00:02:17,171 You got the legs for it. 19 00:02:17,237 --> 00:02:19,547 Tim, I want your opinion about a dress. 20 00:02:19,606 --> 00:02:23,110 Save yourself, run! Go now, run! It's too late for me, run! Get out of here, go! 21 00:02:23,176 --> 00:02:26,817 - I'll distract her... - Very cute. Which dress do you like? 22 00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:29,360 Uh... either one. They both look nice. 23 00:02:29,415 --> 00:02:32,225 I don't wanna look nice. I wanna look different. 24 00:02:32,285 --> 00:02:35,232 Well, put them both on. Go for that layered look. 25 00:02:36,089 --> 00:02:40,196 Come on, Tim. I want to make an impression at this opera fundraiser. 26 00:02:40,260 --> 00:02:42,604 When are you going to an opera fundraiser? 27 00:02:42,662 --> 00:02:46,667 - We're going... Saturday night. - Saturday night? 28 00:02:46,733 --> 00:02:48,679 I told you about it this Wednesday morning. 29 00:02:48,735 --> 00:02:51,181 - No, you didn't. - Yes, I most certainly did. 30 00:02:51,237 --> 00:02:54,878 - You just weren't listening, as usual. - Oh, I wasn't listening. 31 00:02:54,941 --> 00:02:56,648 Why don't you repeat these things? 32 00:02:56,709 --> 00:02:59,485 Every time you say something important you're walking out. 33 00:02:59,546 --> 00:03:01,890 Oh, honey, by the way, this is very important. 34 00:03:01,948 --> 00:03:04,895 The health of our family relies on this, you know... 35 00:03:04,951 --> 00:03:08,489 Saturday night. 36 00:03:08,555 --> 00:03:10,557 Well, did you keep Saturday night open? 37 00:03:10,623 --> 00:03:13,103 Why should I? I didn't know what all that was. 38 00:03:13,159 --> 00:03:15,366 - Why didn't you ask me? - Why didn't you repeat it? 39 00:03:15,428 --> 00:03:17,533 I'm repeating it now. We're going. 40 00:03:17,597 --> 00:03:20,407 - Oh, man! - Oh, come on, Tim. 41 00:03:20,466 --> 00:03:23,879 It's gonna be lovely. They're singing highlights from The Barber of Seville. 42 00:03:23,937 --> 00:03:26,281 A stage full of 300-pound porkers going, 43 00:03:26,339 --> 00:03:29,445 ♪ I got a big haircut! I got a big haircut! 44 00:03:29,509 --> 00:03:32,115 ♪ Oh! They screwed up my bangs! 45 00:03:32,178 --> 00:03:34,624 ♪ You should have used conditioner 46 00:03:34,681 --> 00:03:37,218 ♪ He said... Ho-ho! ♪ 47 00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:42,962 We're going. Oh, oh, I almost forgot. 48 00:03:43,022 --> 00:03:46,799 Don't forget to pick up the boutonniere and a corsage for... tomorrow! 49 00:03:46,859 --> 00:03:49,728 ♪ I didn't hear you! I didn't hear you! 50 00:03:49,729 --> 00:03:50,298 ♪ I didn't hear you! I didn't hear you! 51 00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:52,835 Spring is right around the corner. 52 00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:55,140 AI, what do you look forward to at springtime? 53 00:03:55,201 --> 00:03:56,908 Turning my clock ahead, Tim. 54 00:04:00,873 --> 00:04:03,217 You party animal, you, AI. 55 00:04:03,276 --> 00:04:06,985 When most people think of spring, they think of spring cleaning, 56 00:04:07,847 --> 00:04:11,590 and nothing more important than cleaning your engine. Lisa? 57 00:04:11,651 --> 00:04:14,257 AI and Lisa are pushing out the engine out of my wife's car. 58 00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:19,736 Just kidding. This is a very filthy 5 liter V-8, chrome valve covers, 59 00:04:19,792 --> 00:04:23,399 aluminum high-rise, and four-barrel carburetor. Thank you, Lisa. 60 00:04:23,463 --> 00:04:26,137 And after a long, hard winter, you wanna gap your plugs 61 00:04:26,199 --> 00:04:28,304 flush your dirty radiator clean, 62 00:04:28,368 --> 00:04:30,314 and make sure your hose doesn't leak. 63 00:04:30,370 --> 00:04:33,146 Let's not get too personal, AI. 64 00:04:33,206 --> 00:04:35,880 The first thing you want to do is decrease this bad boy 65 00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:39,890 using Binford's new Engine Clean. It's perfect for home, auto and airplane. 66 00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:41,983 All you gotta do is spray it on a hot engine, 67 00:04:42,048 --> 00:04:46,087 rinse it off with ordinary tap water. At this point your wife may look at you going, 68 00:04:46,152 --> 00:04:48,257 What are you doing, 69 00:04:48,321 --> 00:04:51,928 cleaning the dirty old engine, you dumb ox? The floor needs cleaning! 70 00:04:51,991 --> 00:04:55,461 At this point, I usually take the hood and go, dink. 71 00:04:56,562 --> 00:04:59,873 That's Tim Taylor, care of Tool Time. 72 00:04:59,932 --> 00:05:02,105 - P.O. Box 3-2-7-3... - Al, AI, AI... 73 00:05:02,168 --> 00:05:05,638 I think the women know that I'm just joshing. 74 00:05:05,705 --> 00:05:08,379 Besides, why would a woman be looking under the hood of a car? 75 00:05:08,441 --> 00:05:11,183 We don't look under the washing machine, do we? 76 00:05:11,244 --> 00:05:14,282 That's P.O. Box 3-2-7-3-3, 77 00:05:15,348 --> 00:05:18,989 Detroit... MI. 78 00:05:19,052 --> 00:05:23,364 Anyway, the way a man treats his machine says something about the man. 79 00:05:23,423 --> 00:05:26,700 It says pride - pride in workmanship, and that's what it's all about. 80 00:05:26,759 --> 00:05:29,672 - You tell 'em, junior. - I like that kind of enthusiasm. 81 00:05:29,729 --> 00:05:31,731 - You know what I'm talking about? - I sure do. 82 00:05:31,798 --> 00:05:34,904 Me and my partner here, we've been building cars for 42 years. 83 00:05:34,967 --> 00:05:36,537 - No kidding? - No, it's true. 84 00:05:36,602 --> 00:05:39,640 We were on the assembly line at the Dearborn plant on Miller Road. 85 00:05:39,706 --> 00:05:42,016 Why don't we talk to these two American workers? 86 00:05:42,075 --> 00:05:46,046 Let's get them down here. Come on, you guys. Come on. Yeah, yeah. 87 00:05:49,215 --> 00:05:51,627 Come on. Yeah. 88 00:05:52,518 --> 00:05:56,660 - Hey, hey, are we really on TV? - Well, these aren't hair dryers, pal. 89 00:05:56,723 --> 00:05:59,135 Yeah, you're on TV. Do we get Tool Time hats? 90 00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:01,604 I don't have any, but AI, let's get two hats for them. 91 00:06:01,661 --> 00:06:03,732 All right, gentlemen, what are your names? 92 00:06:03,796 --> 00:06:06,037 - I'm Hick Peterson. - Hello, Hick. How you doing? 93 00:06:06,099 --> 00:06:07,840 - Eddie Phillips. - How you guys doing? 94 00:06:07,900 --> 00:06:10,073 - Welcome to Tool Time. This is AI. - Oh, we know AI! 95 00:06:10,136 --> 00:06:13,015 Oh, we love AI. 96 00:06:13,072 --> 00:06:15,018 Oh, we all love AI. 97 00:06:15,074 --> 00:06:19,489 Hey, AI, come on, give us one of them big salutes. 98 00:06:22,615 --> 00:06:24,322 AI! AI! AI! AI! AI! 99 00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:27,092 Hey, hey, hey! 100 00:06:27,153 --> 00:06:28,894 (He)', hey, hey, hey, hey! 101 00:06:28,955 --> 00:06:31,595 I don't want to disturb this love fest you have going here, 102 00:06:31,657 --> 00:06:37,938 but let me remind you of something. AI is my assistant. He assists me! 103 00:06:37,997 --> 00:06:40,500 What do you say we sit down and chat a little bit? 104 00:06:40,566 --> 00:06:41,567 Oh, yeah. 105 00:06:41,634 --> 00:06:45,343 All week long we've been doing our salute to workmanship, 106 00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:48,215 and who would know more about workmanship than you two guys? 107 00:06:48,274 --> 00:06:50,311 40 odd years on the line. What did you do? 108 00:06:50,376 --> 00:06:54,847 Well, Hick here was headlight alignment, and I was rear bumpers. 109 00:06:54,914 --> 00:06:57,121 - From, uh, the beginning to the end. - Yup. 110 00:06:57,183 --> 00:06:59,754 Cool. You know, 42 years on the line, 111 00:06:59,819 --> 00:07:01,890 you must've pushed out some good Detroit iron. 112 00:07:01,954 --> 00:07:04,127 Ah. Let me ask you a question. 113 00:07:04,190 --> 00:07:07,103 In all those years, what was your favorite car? 114 00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:10,437 - Oh, '55 Thunderbird. - No doubt about it, the bird. 115 00:07:10,496 --> 00:07:13,409 Yeah! Ford's answer to the Corvette. It was a two-seater. It had a... 116 00:07:13,466 --> 00:07:16,640 - V-8 engine, 3-speed overdrive. - Front suspension, upper and lower, 117 00:07:16,702 --> 00:07:19,376 - A-arms and coil springs. - That power to weight ratio, 118 00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:21,817 you could do zero to 60 in under ten seconds. 119 00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:27,656 A good grunt always cleans me out. 120 00:07:27,713 --> 00:07:30,922 It must have been a great day watching that first T-Bird roll off that line. 121 00:07:30,983 --> 00:07:35,056 Ah, great day, but they were all good days back then. 122 00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:37,294 You know, we used to knock out about 100 cars a day, 123 00:07:37,356 --> 00:07:41,065 and after work, Hick and me, we'd go down and have a stinky. 124 00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:43,129 - Stinky? - Yeah. It's a sandwich. 125 00:07:43,196 --> 00:07:46,143 Its my own invention. Limburger cheese, sauerkraut, 126 00:07:46,199 --> 00:07:48,372 big slice of Bermuda onion, and some hot mustard. 127 00:07:48,434 --> 00:07:49,936 Whoo-hoo! 128 00:07:50,002 --> 00:07:54,144 Why don't you just lick a skunk? 129 00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:57,814 And Tim, they still make a great stinky at... 130 00:07:58,978 --> 00:08:03,290 down at Big Mike's Tavern at Fourth and Jefferson. 131 00:08:03,349 --> 00:08:07,388 - Hey, that ought to take care of our tab. - Yeah, right. Hi, Mike. 132 00:08:07,453 --> 00:08:10,991 Big Mike's Tavern. Boy, that sounds like a man's bar there, huh? 133 00:08:11,057 --> 00:08:16,370 Oh, you know it, junior. Pool tables, dark wood, American beer. 134 00:08:16,429 --> 00:08:20,377 We go there all the time. Fourth and Jefferson! 135 00:08:20,433 --> 00:08:23,539 All right. That's all the time we have for Tool Time this week. 136 00:08:23,603 --> 00:08:28,746 AI, what do you say we give these two American workers a Tool Time salute? 137 00:08:28,808 --> 00:08:30,151 Hi. Thank you. 138 00:08:30,209 --> 00:08:33,952 And remember, men build machines, they don't build themselves. 139 00:08:34,013 --> 00:08:36,459 So next time you see a '55 T-Bird, remember - 140 00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:40,362 this is the face of the man who installed that bumper... 141 00:08:40,419 --> 00:08:44,799 and this is the face of the man that aligned the headlights. 142 00:08:49,695 --> 00:08:52,539 Remember, if you didn't put it together with your own hands, 143 00:08:52,598 --> 00:08:55,044 it's not really yours. See you next time on Tool Time. 144 00:09:05,111 --> 00:09:07,113 Hey, pea-brain, what are you doing? 145 00:09:07,179 --> 00:09:09,489 I'm getting a piece of bread to feed the birds. 146 00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:12,689 You doofus. Birds don't eat bread. They eat worms. 147 00:09:12,752 --> 00:09:14,891 Yeah, you have to do what the mommy bird does. 148 00:09:14,954 --> 00:09:16,763 - What's that? - Chew up the worms 149 00:09:16,822 --> 00:09:19,928 and spit it into the baby bird's mouth. 150 00:09:19,992 --> 00:09:23,633 Ew. I'm not eating any worms. 151 00:09:23,696 --> 00:09:26,540 Well, if you want the baby birds to starve... 152 00:09:26,599 --> 00:09:31,105 - Maybe I could just eat one worm. - Now you're talking. 153 00:09:31,170 --> 00:09:34,481 - Hey, guys, where you going? - Outside to feed the birds. 154 00:09:34,540 --> 00:09:37,578 I'm gonna chew up the worm, just like the mommy bird. 155 00:09:37,643 --> 00:09:41,648 No, you're not. Brad, Randy, 156 00:09:41,714 --> 00:09:44,957 I believe you two have homework to do. 157 00:09:45,017 --> 00:09:47,623 Mark, just spread the bread around for the birds, OK? 158 00:09:47,687 --> 00:09:49,894 OK.? 159 00:09:53,159 --> 00:09:55,139 - Hi. - Hi. How was your show? 160 00:09:55,194 --> 00:09:59,142 Terrific. I heard about a new restaurant, Big Mike's Tavern. 161 00:09:59,198 --> 00:10:02,509 I thought we could go there this weekend. What night would be good? 162 00:10:02,568 --> 00:10:06,846 Forget it. We are going to the opera fundraiser. 163 00:10:06,906 --> 00:10:09,250 - Oh, man! - Now, come here. I'm really excited. 164 00:10:09,308 --> 00:10:14,883 I found the perfect thing to wear. It's a little daring, but I think it's fun. 165 00:10:16,682 --> 00:10:18,992 - A tuxedo? - Yeah, what do ya think? 166 00:10:19,051 --> 00:10:21,657 What's so funny? 167 00:10:21,721 --> 00:10:24,565 I've just never been out with a maître d' before. 168 00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:28,834 Why bother to show you this? You don't care about this fundraiser. 169 00:10:28,894 --> 00:10:32,364 It's not that I don't care. It's just, I'm tired of you making these big plans 170 00:10:32,431 --> 00:10:35,207 - without telling me. - Hold on. This whole thing 171 00:10:35,267 --> 00:10:37,838 - was your idea in the first place. - What? 172 00:10:37,903 --> 00:10:40,850 Yes. Mrs. Larson asked us at church two months ago, 173 00:10:40,906 --> 00:10:43,386 and you said, "Oh, yeah. We'd love to come." 174 00:10:43,442 --> 00:10:46,423 - I didn't mean that. I was being polite. - She thought you meant it. 175 00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:48,459 You should say what you mean. 176 00:10:48,514 --> 00:10:51,290 - Like you do. - Yes, like I do. 177 00:10:51,350 --> 00:10:54,058 Wasn't it you that said Mrs. Larson looked just hideous 178 00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:56,122 in that purple muumuu or whatever she had on? 179 00:10:56,188 --> 00:11:00,102 Well, she did look hideous. She looked like a giant eggplant. So? 180 00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:03,971 Ah-ha, but when she comes back over the second time you said, 181 00:11:04,030 --> 00:11:05,976 "Ah, Mrs. Larson, you look lovely." 182 00:11:06,032 --> 00:11:09,570 Why don't you say what you mean? "You look hideous, you big fat muumuu." 183 00:11:09,635 --> 00:11:12,514 She didn't ask me if she looked hideous. 184 00:11:12,571 --> 00:11:14,847 She asked you if we were going to the fundraiser. 185 00:11:14,907 --> 00:11:17,979 - You said yes, so she sent the tickets. - Why didn't you tell me? 186 00:11:18,044 --> 00:11:21,150 I did tell you, Tim. I told you three times. 187 00:11:21,213 --> 00:11:23,352 I am not stupid. If you told me three times, 188 00:11:23,416 --> 00:11:25,726 I would have remembered saying "no" three times. 189 00:11:25,785 --> 00:11:28,391 So, you're not gonna go? No, and this will be the fourth time. 190 00:11:28,454 --> 00:11:31,663 Well, then fine. I'll just put a dress under my tux and take myself. 191 00:11:44,403 --> 00:11:47,873 Here you go. One brewsky, one buttermilk. 192 00:11:47,940 --> 00:11:53,356 Ah, a toast to Mike. Here's to your health and to your happiness, sir. 193 00:11:53,412 --> 00:11:57,189 - How about paying your tab? - And to your fine generosity. 194 00:11:57,249 --> 00:12:00,526 - That'll be $3.00. - We take back our toast. 195 00:12:02,188 --> 00:12:06,830 Hey, everybody, look who's here! Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor. 196 00:12:06,892 --> 00:12:08,235 - Hello, Tim. - Hey! 197 00:12:08,294 --> 00:12:09,466 - Hi, guys. - All right. 198 00:12:09,528 --> 00:12:12,668 - Hi, everybody. - That's Mike over there behind the bar. 199 00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:15,178 - Hi, Mike. How you doing? - Good to meet ya, Tim. 200 00:12:15,234 --> 00:12:17,271 Good to my word, I brought you guys some hats. 201 00:12:17,336 --> 00:12:19,976 - Ah, man. Thanks a million. - Great. Great. 202 00:12:20,039 --> 00:12:22,417 We promised you a stinky. Mike, fix him a nice, big one. 203 00:12:22,475 --> 00:12:24,421 - Coming right up. - Mike, don't bother. 204 00:12:24,477 --> 00:12:27,924 It's not gonna bother me. I'm not the one eating it. 205 00:12:27,980 --> 00:12:30,392 Hey, we're glad you dropped by. 206 00:12:30,449 --> 00:12:32,554 There's a bunch of guys that we used to work with 207 00:12:32,618 --> 00:12:35,189 that are gonna be here tonight. Would they love to meet you. 208 00:12:35,254 --> 00:12:37,097 Would love to, but not tonight. 209 00:12:37,156 --> 00:12:40,535 I believe my wife is dragging me to the Michigan Opera Theater fundraiser. 210 00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:41,970 - Don't do it. - What? 211 00:12:42,027 --> 00:12:46,498 Just put your foot down and say, "Woman, I'm not going." 212 00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:52,171 Now, you see, that's the attitude that kept you a bachelor all your life. 213 00:12:52,238 --> 00:12:54,878 Of course, your face didn't help much, either. 214 00:12:54,940 --> 00:12:59,184 Well, the ladies down at the senior center don't seem to mind. 215 00:12:59,245 --> 00:13:02,021 You should see me at those Saturday night dances, boy. 216 00:13:02,081 --> 00:13:04,652 - Sit down. - All right, Eddie. Just for a minute. 217 00:13:04,717 --> 00:13:07,994 So what if it's the opera? Look on the good side of it. 218 00:13:08,053 --> 00:13:12,798 You're gonna get to see your wife all dolled up in a beautiful gown. 219 00:13:12,858 --> 00:13:15,099 She wants to wear a tux. 220 00:13:15,161 --> 00:13:17,471 Yeah, I hate to see a woman wearing pants. 221 00:13:17,530 --> 00:13:20,739 You know, down at senior center, I won't even dance with a woman 222 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:24,714 unless she's wearing nylons with a nice seam right up the back of her legs. 223 00:13:24,770 --> 00:13:29,412 Those aren't seams. Those are veins. 224 00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:33,651 My point is, Tim, in the old days, women wore dresses, 225 00:13:33,712 --> 00:13:35,988 and they hung onto your arm on a Saturday night, 226 00:13:36,048 --> 00:13:38,927 and they liked it when you called them "dame." 227 00:13:38,984 --> 00:13:42,830 I don't think Jill would like it, if I called her "dame." 228 00:13:42,888 --> 00:13:46,301 Well, dame, doll, gal, babe - whatever she likes. 229 00:13:46,358 --> 00:13:48,531 That's good advice, but I gotta get moving. 230 00:13:48,594 --> 00:13:51,598 - Hey, you haven't had your stinky yet. - You have it. 231 00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:54,645 - We haven't solved your problem. - I came in with hats, not a problem. 232 00:13:54,700 --> 00:13:57,271 Your wife's making you go someplace you don't want to go, 233 00:13:57,336 --> 00:14:01,512 she's starting to wear men's clothes, and you don't have a problem? 234 00:14:03,709 --> 00:14:05,746 The problem is, up until yesterday, 235 00:14:05,811 --> 00:14:08,348 I don't think she told me, "We're going to a fundraiser." 236 00:14:08,414 --> 00:14:10,325 - That's women for ya. - The crazy thing is, 237 00:14:10,382 --> 00:14:13,329 she tells me she said it three times, and I know she didn't. 238 00:14:13,385 --> 00:14:17,094 Women like to control men, and they do it by confusing them. 239 00:14:17,156 --> 00:14:21,263 See, by changing the rules around and wantin' to wear men's clothes. 240 00:14:21,327 --> 00:14:25,571 Tim, you've got to fight confusion with confusion. 241 00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:31,276 You go home and you put on one of her dresses. 242 00:14:31,337 --> 00:14:33,613 Oh! 243 00:14:34,773 --> 00:14:36,810 You want this man to wear a dress? 244 00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:39,356 Desperate times call for desperate measures. 245 00:14:39,411 --> 00:14:41,448 Ah, don't listen to that old windbag. 246 00:14:41,513 --> 00:14:43,686 Listen, I was married for 45 years, 247 00:14:43,749 --> 00:14:47,993 and the one thing I learned was that men and women are different. 248 00:14:48,053 --> 00:14:50,556 It took him 45 years to figure that out. 249 00:14:50,623 --> 00:14:54,298 Oh! All I'm saying is that women are subtle. 250 00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:57,830 Your wife probably told you about this evening in her own way. 251 00:14:57,897 --> 00:15:00,935 No, absolutely not. If she told me, I would have remembered that. 252 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:04,413 Think, think. She never said anything about a fundraiser? 253 00:15:04,470 --> 00:15:07,110 No. She said, "I'm gonna dry clean your tuxedo," 254 00:15:07,172 --> 00:15:09,379 and something about Saturday hors d'oeuvres. 255 00:15:09,441 --> 00:15:13,514 But I mean written something down on a paper or calendar? 256 00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:18,028 Oh, our calendar is circled on Saturday, but all she wrote was "fur raisins." 257 00:15:18,083 --> 00:15:20,393 - Fur raisins... - Yeah, fur raisins. 258 00:15:20,452 --> 00:15:23,058 Fur... 259 00:15:23,122 --> 00:15:28,037 - Could that be... "fundraiser"? - Oh, no! 260 00:15:29,561 --> 00:15:31,563 - Hi, Mom. - Hi. 261 00:15:31,630 --> 00:15:34,736 I thought you were gonna paint that birdhouse stand when Dad got home. 262 00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:36,802 I wanted it to be a surprise. 263 00:15:36,869 --> 00:15:38,974 How many coats of paint did you put on this? 264 00:15:39,038 --> 00:15:41,382 - 12. - Yeah. 265 00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:44,751 He's gonna be real surprised. 266 00:15:44,810 --> 00:15:47,416 Look, um, why don't you go get cleaned up 267 00:15:47,479 --> 00:15:49,959 and I'll clean your brush out for you, all right? 268 00:15:50,015 --> 00:15:52,621 OK.? 269 00:15:52,685 --> 00:15:56,223 Uh... don't-don't touch anything on your way up, OK? 270 00:16:00,025 --> 00:16:04,167 - Hey, Wilson. - Hi-ho, lady neighbor. 271 00:16:05,164 --> 00:16:07,166 What are you doing over there? 272 00:16:07,232 --> 00:16:10,736 Oh, just letting off a little bit of steam, Jill. Hm-mm. 273 00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:15,309 Nothing relaxes me more than a good game of croquet. 274 00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:21,482 - Can I ask you something? - Step up to the wicket, Jill. 275 00:16:21,547 --> 00:16:24,118 Do you think that Tim is a good listener? 276 00:16:24,183 --> 00:16:27,187 Yes. I think Tim is a very good listener. 277 00:16:27,252 --> 00:16:29,596 But does he understand everything you say? 278 00:16:30,422 --> 00:16:34,802 I think Tim is a very good listener. 279 00:16:34,860 --> 00:16:36,806 Well, I don't think he listens to me at all. 280 00:16:36,862 --> 00:16:39,866 I told him about this event that we're going to three times, 281 00:16:39,932 --> 00:16:42,435 - and he acts like I never said anything. - Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 282 00:16:42,501 --> 00:16:44,708 I don't know how I could have been clearer. 283 00:16:44,770 --> 00:16:46,977 I told him I was getting his tux cleaned. 284 00:16:47,039 --> 00:16:50,179 I told him about the hors d'oeuvres we were having Saturday night. 285 00:16:50,242 --> 00:16:54,782 I even circled it on the calendar. I did everything except sit him down and say, 286 00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:59,193 "We are going to a fundraiser Saturday night." Oh, my God, I never did that. 287 00:17:01,186 --> 00:17:04,099 Oh, man! 288 00:17:05,424 --> 00:17:08,496 I can't believe it. 289 00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:11,871 All of this arguing and he was right. 290 00:17:11,930 --> 00:17:15,537 Oh, no, I feel terrible. This is all my fault. 291 00:17:15,601 --> 00:17:17,672 Well, I should apologize to him. Thank you, Wilson. 292 00:17:17,736 --> 00:17:20,410 You've really been a big help. 293 00:17:20,472 --> 00:17:24,614 Hmm. Somehow it's always easier with Jill. 294 00:17:29,915 --> 00:17:33,692 Oh, honey, I am so glad you're home. I've got to tell you something. 295 00:17:33,752 --> 00:17:36,631 - I've got something important to tell you. - Let me go first. 296 00:17:36,688 --> 00:17:40,431 - No, please, let me. Come on. - Well, all right. 297 00:17:40,492 --> 00:17:44,463 I realized today that you probably did tell me about this fundraiser. 298 00:17:44,530 --> 00:17:48,103 In your subtle way, you said it two or three times. 299 00:17:48,167 --> 00:17:50,340 When I'm not interested, I don't pay attention. 300 00:17:50,402 --> 00:17:54,179 It's my fault. I'm sorry and I apologize. 301 00:17:54,239 --> 00:17:58,688 - Oh, thank you, sweetie. - We'll have a good time. 302 00:17:58,744 --> 00:18:01,520 Now, what we're you gonna tell me? 303 00:18:06,552 --> 00:18:07,652 Nothing. 304 00:18:07,653 --> 00:18:08,653 Nothing. 305 00:18:09,521 --> 00:18:13,230 - See ya, guys. - Take it easy. 306 00:18:13,292 --> 00:18:15,704 It was nice to see Ziggy again, huh? 307 00:18:15,761 --> 00:18:18,765 - Boy, has he gone to the dogs. - Yeah. 308 00:18:18,831 --> 00:18:22,074 I hate it when a guy doesn't keep himself up. 309 00:18:25,370 --> 00:18:30,547 Hey, look who's here. Ha-ha! I thought you had an event to go to. 310 00:18:30,609 --> 00:18:33,522 Well, my wife and I communicated and compromised, 311 00:18:33,579 --> 00:18:37,322 decided to spend half the night at the fundraiser, and the other half with you. 312 00:18:37,382 --> 00:18:39,862 - All right! - And we're starving. 313 00:18:39,918 --> 00:18:41,920 Fix you up a couple of stinkys? 314 00:18:43,188 --> 00:18:45,600 No, still lovin' that one I had today. 315 00:18:45,657 --> 00:18:48,638 How about just your shrimp plate and a big salad for us? 316 00:18:48,694 --> 00:18:50,469 - You got it. - Oh, I'm sorry guys. 317 00:18:50,529 --> 00:18:52,270 Hick, Eddie, this is my wife, Jill. 318 00:18:52,331 --> 00:18:55,005 Its a great pleasure to meet you, my dear. 319 00:18:55,067 --> 00:18:57,445 Well, thank you very much. 320 00:18:57,503 --> 00:19:01,349 My, my; My! My! my' 321 00:19:01,406 --> 00:19:04,285 I love a woman in a tuxedo. 322 00:19:05,611 --> 00:19:08,592 I thought you said you didn't like women in pants. 323 00:19:08,647 --> 00:19:10,786 - Did I say that, junior? - Yes. 324 00:19:10,849 --> 00:19:14,160 Well, it's OK if it's a glamour package like Jill here. 325 00:19:14,219 --> 00:19:16,790 Well, thank you. 326 00:19:16,855 --> 00:19:20,302 You are one classy dame. 327 00:19:20,359 --> 00:19:25,206 - And you are trouble. - And you know it. 328 00:19:25,264 --> 00:19:27,938 How about tripping the light fandango with me over there 329 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:32,278 - if your husband doesn't mind? - You don't mind, do you, junior? 330 00:19:32,337 --> 00:19:35,580 - Junior? No, go ahead. - OK. 331 00:19:35,641 --> 00:19:37,416 Watch his hands. 332 00:19:37,476 --> 00:19:41,549 I've got a step I do down at the senior center I think you're gonna like. 333 00:19:44,283 --> 00:19:46,661 Now... 334 00:19:46,718 --> 00:19:49,858 How would you like to be in my will? 335 00:19:49,922 --> 00:19:51,799 Whoo! 336 00:19:51,857 --> 00:19:54,838 You know, your wife certainly lights up a room. 337 00:19:54,893 --> 00:19:56,338 Yes, she certainly does. 338 00:19:56,395 --> 00:19:59,399 I'm glad to see that the two of you worked things out. 339 00:19:59,464 --> 00:20:03,810 Well, I don't know how we worked things out. I apologized. 340 00:20:03,869 --> 00:20:05,974 I just don't think I'm ever gonna figure her out. 341 00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:12,011 Don't. You know, I was married to Tilly for 45 years, 342 00:20:12,077 --> 00:20:19,291 and this woman, God rest her soul, used to drive me absolutely crazy. 343 00:20:19,351 --> 00:20:23,322 She had these ugly little porcelain cats 344 00:20:23,388 --> 00:20:28,861 that she used to love to line up on the window sill. 345 00:20:28,927 --> 00:20:32,841 And every day for 45 years, 346 00:20:32,898 --> 00:20:37,074 I used to take those cats off the window sill 347 00:20:37,135 --> 00:20:40,014 and put them in a cupboard. 348 00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:44,043 And every day for 45 years, 349 00:20:44,109 --> 00:20:48,649 she'd take them out of the cupboard and put them back. 350 00:20:51,283 --> 00:20:55,789 - Where are they now? - On the window sill. 351 00:20:56,455 --> 00:21:00,835 - You didn't throw them out? - What for? 352 00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:03,762 You know, 353 00:21:03,829 --> 00:21:08,039 you don't have to understand a woman. 354 00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:11,081 All you got to do is love her. 355 00:21:14,339 --> 00:21:17,877 Hey, you get up there. Come on. 356 00:21:24,449 --> 00:21:28,192 - Mind if I cut in? - Is it all right with you? 357 00:21:28,253 --> 00:21:31,234 Well, OK. 358 00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:33,566 (He)', hey, hey, hey, hey! 359 00:22:13,999 --> 00:22:16,605 I finished the birdhouse. Look. 360 00:22:16,668 --> 00:22:19,444 Tim, they're just sitting on the tree. Why don't they go in? 361 00:22:19,504 --> 00:22:22,917 He's probably thinking, "The house is too expensive. I'd have to win the lottery." 362 00:22:22,974 --> 00:22:25,978 - "I cant pick up a ticket with claws." - I don't think so, Tim. 363 00:22:26,044 --> 00:22:28,684 He sees the Jacuzzi, and fresh papers everywhere. 364 00:22:28,747 --> 00:22:31,990 Nah, he's saying, "Forget the papers. Let's find a statue of Tim." 365 00:22:33,418 --> 00:22:36,422 Oh, look, a cat. Just kidding, fellas. 366 00:22:37,856 --> 00:22:40,632 Stop picking at yourself. 367 00:22:40,692 --> 00:22:42,933 - What's this itch over here? - Oh. 368 00:22:42,994 --> 00:22:46,567 - You got one, too, huh? - Yeah. 369 00:22:46,631 --> 00:22:49,840 Where did I put that shoehorn? 370 00:22:53,705 --> 00:22:55,480 Oh, he gave it to me. 371 00:22:55,540 --> 00:22:58,714 The guy only... Hold on a second. Wait. Wait.