1
00:01:12,972 --> 00:01:17,421
- Mom, I can't find the hose.
- What do you want it for, anyway?
2
00:01:17,477 --> 00:01:21,084
- Oh, nothing. Just something to do.
- Why don't you read a book?
3
00:01:21,147 --> 00:01:23,457
You can't make mud with a book.
4
00:01:23,516 --> 00:01:24,517
Mud?
5
00:01:24,584 --> 00:01:27,758
We're playing commandos. We're putting
the mud on our faces for camouflage.
6
00:01:27,821 --> 00:01:29,300
No mud.
7
00:01:29,355 --> 00:01:31,767
Oh, man.
8
00:01:31,825 --> 00:01:34,669
Wait a second, wait a second.
You really want your faces dirty?
9
00:01:34,727 --> 00:01:37,105
- Yeah.
- OK, come here.
10
00:01:37,163 --> 00:01:40,269
All right, take a sharp right.
11
00:01:40,333 --> 00:01:42,677
All right, watch out for pedestrians
and the refrigerator.
12
00:01:42,735 --> 00:01:46,012
Got it, Dad. Beep! Beep!
13
00:01:46,072 --> 00:01:47,983
- Hey, guys.
- Hi, Dad.
14
00:01:48,041 --> 00:01:51,784
What?
Are you giving each other facials?
15
00:01:51,845 --> 00:01:54,155
No. We're playing commandos.
16
00:01:54,214 --> 00:01:57,821
What? Are you attacking a beauty salon,
or something?
17
00:01:57,884 --> 00:01:58,487
Hi, honey.
18
00:01:58,551 --> 00:02:02,556
The auto parts god, Gearshift, has shined
on me. I found this today at the junkyard.
19
00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:10,366
That's my woman. Woman,
watch your man weld. Fire, metal, heat.
20
00:02:10,430 --> 00:02:13,240
Oh, Tim, look out for the...
21
00:02:13,299 --> 00:02:15,438
pottery wheel.
22
00:02:15,935 --> 00:02:17,778
Oh, that had to hurt.
23
00:02:17,837 --> 00:02:19,874
Try it, tell me what you think.
24
00:02:19,939 --> 00:02:23,216
Uh, Mark, I think maybe you should
go play commandos with your big bros.
25
00:02:23,276 --> 00:02:25,381
Wow, cool.
26
00:02:26,379 --> 00:02:28,985
What's this doing in the garage? I thought
we wanted to put it in the basement.
27
00:02:29,048 --> 00:02:31,460
Well, we were,
but I can't work down there.
28
00:02:31,518 --> 00:02:34,362
Oh, come on. It'll be quiet,
the kids won't go down there.
29
00:02:34,420 --> 00:02:38,095
It's just damp,
and there are bugs.
30
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:42,197
Well, I'll get you a sponge
and an anteater, or something.
31
00:02:42,262 --> 00:02:45,607
Now, look.
My pottery teacher said that I should work
32
00:02:45,665 --> 00:02:48,737
where the creative energy
feels the strongest.
33
00:02:48,801 --> 00:02:53,716
And since Paris is out of the question,
I picked the garage and I really like it.
34
00:02:53,873 --> 00:02:57,878
Well, I... I don't think it's creative energy
you're sensing. This is grease energy. It's...
35
00:02:57,944 --> 00:03:01,482
It's man energy, and it's...
Boy, it's tough, even for a woman like you.
36
00:03:01,548 --> 00:03:05,860
This'd suck the estrogen
right out of you, honey.
37
00:03:07,453 --> 00:03:12,801
What you really mean is that
it's your garage and I don't belong here.
38
00:03:12,892 --> 00:03:16,806
What I really mean is it's our garage,
and you don't belong out here.
39
00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:18,103
Yeah, I see.
40
00:03:18,164 --> 00:03:22,135
Now, didn't we agree
to put this in the basement, hon?
41
00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:24,478
OK. You got it. Move it.
42
00:03:24,537 --> 00:03:27,575
- Great. Get the door for me.
- All right.
43
00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:30,143
- How many guys brought this in here?
- Just one little skinny guy.
44
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:32,121
OK.?
45
00:03:34,914 --> 00:03:36,689
Ah, gee!
46
00:03:36,749 --> 00:03:41,357
Tim, you're gonna hurt your back.
You need to lift with your legs.
47
00:03:41,421 --> 00:03:44,231
Is that what he did?
48
00:03:44,290 --> 00:03:46,531
No, he had a forklift.
49
00:03:50,296 --> 00:03:53,869
Look, your area is way over there,
mine is way over here.
50
00:03:53,933 --> 00:03:56,573
If I bother you,
you can just tell me and I'll leave.
51
00:03:56,636 --> 00:03:57,910
Good.
52
00:03:57,971 --> 00:03:59,006
- Jill?
- What?
53
00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:01,780
You're bothering me.
54
00:04:01,841 --> 00:04:04,981
I'm kidding.
We'll share the garage. Good.
55
00:04:05,044 --> 00:04:08,218
I was just concerned
about your safety.
56
00:04:08,281 --> 00:04:12,093
I gotta put on the steering box today,
and you know what that means?
57
00:04:12,151 --> 00:04:15,598
Welding. Sparks, heat.
58
00:04:15,655 --> 00:04:17,259
Noise.
59
00:04:17,323 --> 00:04:19,234
Sweat.
60
00:04:19,292 --> 00:04:22,671
Wow. We should have
welded on our honeymoon.
61
00:04:24,731 --> 00:04:26,176
Once you've installed your drawer,
62
00:04:26,232 --> 00:04:28,838
it's always a good idea
to slide 'er in a couple times.
63
00:04:33,406 --> 00:04:35,943
Just to make sure
it's seated properly on the track.
64
00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:39,616
You can always be confident now, because
the stop will prevent the drawer...
65
00:04:39,679 --> 00:04:42,319
Jeez, AI!
66
00:04:42,382 --> 00:04:43,486
Thanks, Warren.
67
00:04:43,549 --> 00:04:48,259
AI, you didn't...
you didn't get the stop in there.
68
00:04:48,321 --> 00:04:51,097
I believe that was your job, Tim.
69
00:04:51,157 --> 00:04:55,606
AI, I believe you're my assistant. You're
supposed to check up my work, right?
70
00:04:55,662 --> 00:04:59,474
That's what a good assistant does,
right, Al?
71
00:04:59,532 --> 00:05:02,206
A good assistant
does a lot more than that, Tim.
72
00:05:02,268 --> 00:05:04,145
You're right, AI.
73
00:05:04,203 --> 00:05:07,650
And that's why AI and I
plan these minor slip-ups,
74
00:05:07,707 --> 00:05:11,211
to demonstrate the importance
of how a good assistant
75
00:05:11,277 --> 00:05:13,883
can prevent accidents like this.
76
00:05:13,946 --> 00:05:16,187
Isn't that right, AI?
77
00:05:16,616 --> 00:05:18,960
I don't think so, Tim.
78
00:05:21,788 --> 00:05:25,531
I think what AI means is,
if you're not careful and watch your step,
79
00:05:25,591 --> 00:05:28,333
you can screw up,
just like AI did.
80
00:05:30,930 --> 00:05:34,343
Tool Time tip: Don't be like AI.
81
00:05:35,435 --> 00:05:38,075
See you next time, everybody.
82
00:05:43,042 --> 00:05:43,952
BYE. Guys.
83
00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:45,887
- Good night, Lisa.
- Good night, Lisa.
84
00:05:45,945 --> 00:05:47,618
Night, Al.
85
00:05:48,614 --> 00:05:50,560
Al?
86
00:05:51,617 --> 00:05:54,655
What's the matter, Allie?
87
00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:57,065
Woo-hoo?
88
00:05:57,123 --> 00:05:59,797
Ah, women troubles again, huh?
89
00:05:59,859 --> 00:06:02,465
Come on, tell me.
What's the matter?
90
00:06:02,528 --> 00:06:05,805
If you don't know,
I'm not going to tell you.
91
00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:09,274
Well, if you won't tell me,
how do I know?
92
00:06:09,335 --> 00:06:11,906
Tim, you embarrassed me today.
93
00:06:11,971 --> 00:06:16,215
Oh, that's no big deal.
I always embarrass you.
94
00:06:16,275 --> 00:06:20,189
Hey. The audience knows
I'm kidding around.
95
00:06:21,180 --> 00:06:23,956
I've gotten used to the fact
that you don't respect me.
96
00:06:24,016 --> 00:06:25,256
That's not true.
97
00:06:25,318 --> 00:06:29,130
But sometimes your constant clowning
is a mockery of home improvement.
98
00:06:29,188 --> 00:06:31,429
A mockery?
99
00:06:33,126 --> 00:06:34,366
Yes.
100
00:06:34,427 --> 00:06:38,967
And sometimes it's just
a little more than I can bear.
101
00:06:39,031 --> 00:06:40,874
Oh, come on, AI.
102
00:06:40,933 --> 00:06:43,038
You're not gonna cry, are you?
103
00:06:44,036 --> 00:06:46,277
I might.
104
00:06:47,373 --> 00:06:50,354
I take my work seriously.
All you do is crack jokes.
105
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:52,981
Crack jokes? Well, the way
you bend over like that, it's easy.
106
00:06:53,045 --> 00:06:55,855
Well, you see, now, that's...
that's what I'm talking about.
107
00:06:55,915 --> 00:06:57,588
Al, this show's part entertainment.
108
00:06:57,650 --> 00:07:01,223
It takes a lot of skill to entertain
the audience while we do our projects.
109
00:07:01,287 --> 00:07:03,130
Anyone can do what you do.
110
00:07:03,189 --> 00:07:05,100
Oh, really?
Do you think you can do what I do?
111
00:07:05,158 --> 00:07:10,301
Oh, please. How hard can it be to tell
bad jokes and screw up all the time?
112
00:07:15,568 --> 00:07:17,844
A lot harder than it looks.
113
00:07:20,206 --> 00:07:23,483
That isn't all that
you think I do, do you?
114
00:07:23,543 --> 00:07:24,988
Yes.
115
00:07:25,044 --> 00:07:27,547
And so do most of your viewers.
116
00:07:31,517 --> 00:07:34,964
Hey, I got an idea, AI.
This is one you're gonna like.
117
00:07:35,021 --> 00:07:40,835
Next time, why don't you try to host
the show, and I'll try to be the assistant?
118
00:07:40,893 --> 00:07:43,237
You really mean that?
119
00:07:44,997 --> 00:07:46,772
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
120
00:07:46,833 --> 00:07:52,146
We'll call it Tool Time,
with AI "I Take My Job Seriously" Borland.
121
00:07:52,205 --> 00:07:54,617
- Fine.
- Fine.
122
00:07:54,841 --> 00:07:57,082
- Fine.
- Fine.
123
00:07:58,110 --> 00:07:59,110
Fine.
124
00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:02,982
Hide.
125
00:08:06,185 --> 00:08:07,926
Oh, man.
126
00:08:07,987 --> 00:08:10,831
Where'd everybody go?
127
00:08:10,890 --> 00:08:14,167
Guess I have to do
that welding all by myself.
128
00:08:14,227 --> 00:08:16,935
Boy, that's a thirsty job.
129
00:08:16,996 --> 00:08:19,772
I'll get a big drink of water
before I go back out to the garage.
130
00:08:22,368 --> 00:08:24,974
Stop! No fair. Cut it out.
131
00:08:25,037 --> 00:08:27,108
Do you surrender,
or more squirts here?
132
00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:29,119
You're not allowed
to squirt water in the house.
133
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:31,177
Yeah. We're gonna tell Mom.
134
00:08:31,244 --> 00:08:34,020
Ooh, commando's
gonna tell his mommy.
135
00:08:35,047 --> 00:08:38,153
- Yeah, you're gonna get in real big trouble.
- Oh, am I?
136
00:08:38,217 --> 00:08:40,128
My word against yours,
who do you think she's gonna believe?
137
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:41,824
- Them.
- What you... Oh, honey.
138
00:08:41,888 --> 00:08:45,665
Stop squirting.
Now get some towels and clean this up.
139
00:08:45,725 --> 00:08:48,331
- Boy, I don't know where they get this.
- I do.
140
00:08:48,394 --> 00:08:49,668
- Honey, honey, honey, honey, honey.
- Prisoner. Put 'em up.
141
00:08:49,729 --> 00:08:52,107
All right, all right, all right.
I'm your prisoner.
142
00:08:52,164 --> 00:08:55,737
Do what you will to me.
Over and over.
143
00:08:57,537 --> 00:09:01,644
Let's face it, Tim.
With you, once it's over, it's over.
144
00:09:02,642 --> 00:09:05,714
Come here,
I want to show you something.
145
00:09:07,313 --> 00:09:08,917
Ta-da!
146
00:09:08,981 --> 00:09:11,257
- What do you think?
- Wow!
147
00:09:11,317 --> 00:09:13,763
Whatever it is, it's one
of the finest examples I've ever seen.
148
00:09:13,819 --> 00:09:15,924
No, no. It's a bowl.
149
00:09:15,988 --> 00:09:20,266
No, Jill. It's...
It's so much more than that.
150
00:09:20,326 --> 00:09:22,328
No, come on.
This is not as easy as it looks.
151
00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:28,437
This is the first thing I've gotten
to stay standing up. I'm so proud of it.
152
00:09:28,501 --> 00:09:30,572
What's that smell?
153
00:09:30,636 --> 00:09:33,242
Oh, um,
it's some lavender potpourri.
154
00:09:37,910 --> 00:09:40,652
Lavender potpourri?
155
00:09:40,713 --> 00:09:44,525
This is the garage,
not the Liberace Museum.
156
00:09:45,151 --> 00:09:49,224
Just go back to your hot rod
and shut up.
157
00:10:07,974 --> 00:10:10,818
Jill, I can't work with this noise.
158
00:10:11,310 --> 00:10:13,620
How can you call that noise?
159
00:10:17,750 --> 00:10:21,323
That's not noise,
that's a proctology exam.
160
00:10:23,489 --> 00:10:25,025
Hey, come on.
161
00:10:25,091 --> 00:10:29,096
Honey, honey. Ooh, ixnay, ixnay.
162
00:10:29,161 --> 00:10:32,074
You remember you promised
if you were bothering me you'd leave?
163
00:10:32,131 --> 00:10:34,441
- I'm not bothering you.
- Yes, you are.
164
00:10:34,500 --> 00:10:36,309
Well, don't be silly. I'm not.
165
00:10:36,369 --> 00:10:37,848
If I say you're bothering me,
you're bothering me.
166
00:10:37,903 --> 00:10:40,782
Well, then, you leave.
167
00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:43,720
- I'm building my hot rod out here.
- Oh, and I'm just playing with clay.
168
00:10:43,776 --> 00:10:44,254
Yeah, well...
169
00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:47,951
Oh, so your stuff
is more important than my stuff.
170
00:10:48,948 --> 00:10:52,395
No, but at least
it's garagey stuff.
171
00:10:52,451 --> 00:10:56,297
You know, it's cars, it's tools, it's
grease. It's not this little artsy...
172
00:10:56,355 --> 00:10:58,699
Oh.
173
00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:02,969
I can fix this...
Hey, look at that.
174
00:11:11,837 --> 00:11:14,044
Mark, come out of there.
175
00:11:18,210 --> 00:11:21,521
Did your brothers
do this to you again?
176
00:11:21,580 --> 00:11:24,561
I can't tell you.
Randy told me not to.
177
00:11:24,617 --> 00:11:28,929
Don't untie me, Mom. I'm a prisoner. It's
the only way they'll let me play with them.
178
00:11:28,988 --> 00:11:30,399
Jill.
179
00:11:30,456 --> 00:11:33,096
I fixed the pot.
180
00:11:33,159 --> 00:11:35,264
You're not the only genius
in the family.
181
00:11:35,327 --> 00:11:36,362
Thanks.
182
00:11:36,429 --> 00:11:41,902
Well... it's not perfect,
but it's pretty close to the original.
183
00:11:46,038 --> 00:11:48,382
Did you break a pot too?
184
00:11:52,144 --> 00:11:55,614
- He's escaped. Book it.
- Hey, come back here.
185
00:11:58,184 --> 00:12:00,664
Randy, did you do this to him?
186
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,722
The truth.
187
00:12:04,356 --> 00:12:07,667
Well, I tied him up,
but Brad put him in the closet.
188
00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:10,731
Hey, she didn't ask
anything about me.
189
00:12:10,796 --> 00:12:12,434
Now untie him.
190
00:12:12,498 --> 00:12:15,945
- Come on, Mark.
- I didn't tell on you.
191
00:12:16,001 --> 00:12:17,878
She found me.
192
00:12:17,937 --> 00:12:19,644
Jill.
193
00:12:19,705 --> 00:12:22,117
- What is this?
- This is a garage-use timetable.
194
00:12:22,174 --> 00:12:25,678
Since we can't share the garage together,
I thought we should share it separately.
195
00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:29,693
- Honey, I don't have any time on there.
- I gave you plenty of spaces.
196
00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:33,629
Oh, like between two and three
on Tuesdays? I work.
197
00:12:33,686 --> 00:12:36,929
Oh. That's right.
Well, I'll just take that space too.
198
00:12:38,858 --> 00:12:43,204
I love this, between twelve and six a.m.
That's when we sleep together.
199
00:12:43,262 --> 00:12:46,505
Now you're catching on, big boy.
200
00:12:48,934 --> 00:12:51,175
I should have never
let you into my garage in the first place.
201
00:12:51,237 --> 00:12:53,911
Aha! Your garage!
The truth comes out.
202
00:12:53,973 --> 00:12:57,716
Honey, you know what I mean. I got the
hot rod here, I got my tool bench.
203
00:12:57,777 --> 00:13:00,917
I've already given you a place
for the washing machines.
204
00:13:00,980 --> 00:13:06,692
I guess I should be grateful that you let me
come into your garage to do your laundry.
205
00:13:06,752 --> 00:13:09,631
What I'm trying to get at
is this is a man zone.
206
00:13:09,688 --> 00:13:11,463
Where is the woman zone, Tim?
207
00:13:11,524 --> 00:13:14,232
All I got is the garage.
You got the whole rest of the damn house.
208
00:13:14,293 --> 00:13:17,035
- To do what? Clean?
- No.
209
00:13:17,096 --> 00:13:19,633
Knit, sew, cook, vacuum...
210
00:13:19,698 --> 00:13:22,269
I'm kidding,
I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
211
00:13:22,334 --> 00:13:24,336
- Ow!
- So am I.
212
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:30,982
And now, Binford Tools
is proud to present Tool Time.
213
00:13:31,043 --> 00:13:36,220
With its very special guest host,
AI "The Toolman" Borland.
214
00:13:42,254 --> 00:13:43,631
Hi.
215
00:13:43,856 --> 00:13:45,597
Hi.
216
00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:51,904
And... and welcome to Tool Time,
the show with more power...
217
00:13:56,135 --> 00:14:01,175
Ah, you all know my guest assistant,
Tim "The Assistant Man" Taylor.
218
00:14:04,944 --> 00:14:08,756
Tim and I are going
to be showing you today
219
00:14:08,814 --> 00:14:11,818
the proper method of installing
220
00:14:11,884 --> 00:14:16,355
decorative molding
around the interior of a doorway.
221
00:14:19,825 --> 00:14:21,600
Thank you, Lisa.
222
00:14:28,834 --> 00:14:30,336
Jeez, AI.
223
00:14:30,402 --> 00:14:32,780
Ah, Tim.
224
00:14:32,838 --> 00:14:35,876
Do you suppose
if Little Miss Muffet went through there,
225
00:14:35,941 --> 00:14:40,822
instead of a "doorway"
they'd call it a "curds and whey?"
226
00:14:43,649 --> 00:14:45,651
I don't think so, AI.
227
00:14:48,020 --> 00:14:50,022
Why not?
228
00:14:52,458 --> 00:14:56,031
That's
AI "I Take My Job Seriously" Borland...
229
00:14:57,263 --> 00:14:58,401
OK.?
230
00:14:58,464 --> 00:15:00,102
So, uh...
231
00:15:00,165 --> 00:15:03,476
The most common
decorative molding are the casings,
232
00:15:03,535 --> 00:15:06,880
which go around
the doors and windows,
233
00:15:06,939 --> 00:15:12,252
and the, uh, baseboards -
thank you, Tim - which go on the, uh...
234
00:15:12,311 --> 00:15:14,655
Ah, the... They go...
235
00:15:15,648 --> 00:15:18,788
- Bottom?
- "bottom of the walls."
236
00:15:18,851 --> 00:15:23,425
And the crown molding,
which of course go up on... Oh.
237
00:15:25,257 --> 00:15:28,204
- Can I assist you with that, AI?
- Uh, no thank you, Tim.
238
00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:32,333
We could use a staple gun
right to your Adam's apple, AI.
239
00:15:32,398 --> 00:15:35,811
And you know,
speaking of staple guns, the, uh...
240
00:15:36,802 --> 00:15:43,276
Do... do you suppose that they call it a
staple gun because it shoots out staples?
241
00:15:46,145 --> 00:15:48,352
Yes, I do, AI.
242
00:15:48,414 --> 00:15:50,587
Well, I... I agree, Tim.
243
00:15:52,084 --> 00:15:55,531
All right, uh, first off
we're gonna get to our miter box here.
244
00:15:57,022 --> 00:15:58,228
Ah.Ah, so...
245
00:15:58,290 --> 00:16:01,828
But first, I would like
to get something off my chest...
246
00:16:01,894 --> 00:16:03,896
That tie?
247
00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:08,133
Uh...
248
00:16:09,168 --> 00:16:13,310
I... I'm just...
I'm just a little bit cheesed here.
249
00:16:14,940 --> 00:16:18,149
The, uh, the other day
I was in the supermarket,
250
00:16:18,210 --> 00:16:21,680
and I...
I was in the frozen food section,
251
00:16:22,548 --> 00:16:25,927
and they had lima beans
three for a dollar.
252
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:28,761
And... and I took four.
253
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:34,828
And... and the lady at the checkout counter
said, "Hey, can't you count?"
254
00:16:39,298 --> 00:16:41,039
Women, huh?
255
00:16:41,100 --> 00:16:43,478
Are you with me on this?
256
00:16:45,437 --> 00:16:47,007
Are you hot?
257
00:16:47,072 --> 00:16:52,715
Hey, AI, I'm having a little trouble
with your CutSaw back here. AI!
258
00:16:56,648 --> 00:16:58,184
I hope we didn't
scare anybody just then,
259
00:16:58,250 --> 00:17:01,322
but it was Al's idea
to stage a little disaster like this
260
00:17:01,387 --> 00:17:05,529
to demonstrate the importance of keeping
your concentration at the workplace.
261
00:17:05,591 --> 00:17:07,400
Right, AI?
262
00:17:07,459 --> 00:17:09,803
Uh, that's right, Tim.
263
00:17:11,163 --> 00:17:13,507
Get to your...
get to your molding, then.
264
00:17:13,565 --> 00:17:16,671
- Molding?
- Yeah, the molding, AI.
265
00:17:16,735 --> 00:17:20,273
You know, when I'm molding,
sometimes, cutting in a miter,
266
00:17:20,339 --> 00:17:24,116
I get splinters at the end of my wood.
What would you do about that, AI?
267
00:17:24,176 --> 00:17:26,520
Ah, well, you want
to take your tape,
268
00:17:26,578 --> 00:17:30,287
and tape the front of the molding
before you start your miter.
269
00:17:30,349 --> 00:17:31,794
Thank you, AI.
270
00:17:31,850 --> 00:17:34,990
No, thank you, Tim.
271
00:17:36,422 --> 00:17:40,393
Hey, AI. Do you suppose
they call this "molding"
272
00:17:40,459 --> 00:17:46,466
because it's made out of stuff that's
been in the refrigerator a little too long?
273
00:17:50,669 --> 00:17:53,650
I don't think so, Tim.
274
00:17:53,672 --> 00:17:57,112
Why don't we finish that molding off on the
first part of this? We'll cut that thing...
275
00:18:01,814 --> 00:18:04,920
Hey! Don't do that to me.
276
00:18:04,983 --> 00:18:07,224
- What are you doing?
- Nothing.
277
00:18:07,286 --> 00:18:09,596
Nuh-uh, you're erasing
Mom's name from the chart.
278
00:18:09,655 --> 00:18:13,899
- I am not.
- Are too. Why's it say "Ji...?"
279
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:16,034
Code red, code red!
280
00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:17,130
Run!
281
00:18:17,196 --> 00:18:19,699
- Go, go!
- It's funny, huh?
282
00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:21,972
You better keep running,
or I'll get a garden hose.
283
00:18:22,034 --> 00:18:26,244
- Hi ho, good neighbor.
- Hey, Wilson. What are you up to?
284
00:18:26,805 --> 00:18:28,876
Just painting a self-portrait.
285
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:30,750
Yeah, of who?
286
00:18:33,912 --> 00:18:37,382
- Well, Tim, I believe that would be of me.
- Yeah?
287
00:18:37,449 --> 00:18:40,623
- Can I see what you got so far?
- Sure, neighbor.
288
00:18:47,192 --> 00:18:49,798
- I got a question for you. Do you mind?
- Well, Tim,
289
00:18:49,862 --> 00:18:53,571
I would never
give you the brush-off.
290
00:18:53,632 --> 00:18:56,909
Jill is trying
to take over my garage.
291
00:18:56,969 --> 00:19:00,041
Hmm, I see. A coup de garage.
292
00:19:01,340 --> 00:19:04,048
She just doesn't understand.
It's my garage.
293
00:19:04,109 --> 00:19:07,249
It's always been my garage. It's always
gonna be my garage. It's my zone.
294
00:19:07,312 --> 00:19:10,816
It'll never be her garage,
because it's mine, mine, mine.
295
00:19:10,883 --> 00:19:13,022
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
296
00:19:14,386 --> 00:19:17,265
- Well, Tim, men are territorial by nature.
- Yeah.
297
00:19:17,322 --> 00:19:21,737
When you describe the garage
as "yours, yours, yours,".
298
00:19:21,793 --> 00:19:24,672
Jill's reaction is to protect
herself from feeling unwelcome.
299
00:19:24,730 --> 00:19:27,176
Yeah, I might have said
something to make her feel unwelcome.
300
00:19:27,232 --> 00:19:29,838
- Like what?
- I told her to get out!
301
00:19:32,137 --> 00:19:35,584
- Well, Tim, that could cause some friction.
- Yeah, friction.
302
00:19:35,641 --> 00:19:39,987
You have to understand, Tim,
life for women is connections,
303
00:19:40,045 --> 00:19:43,857
a struggle to avoid isolation
and preserve intimacy.
304
00:19:43,916 --> 00:19:45,691
- Uh, intimacy.
- Mm-hm.
305
00:19:45,751 --> 00:19:47,321
- Yeah, bingo.
- Hm?
306
00:19:47,386 --> 00:19:48,490
Intimacy.
307
00:19:48,554 --> 00:19:51,364
That's what it's all about.
Wilson, you're always right.
308
00:19:51,423 --> 00:19:53,027
Ah, ah, Tim, Tim.
309
00:19:53,091 --> 00:19:55,162
"Always" is
as dangerous a word as "never."
310
00:19:55,227 --> 00:19:56,968
No, no, no.
This makes perfect sense.
311
00:19:57,029 --> 00:20:02,172
Jill put that potter's wheel in the garage
to be near me, to spend more time with me.
312
00:20:02,234 --> 00:20:04,236
Thanks, Wilson.
313
00:20:06,772 --> 00:20:09,685
- Listen, Jill. I think I understand...
- Good.
314
00:20:09,741 --> 00:20:12,278
No, no, no, no. You didn't
let me finish what I understand.
315
00:20:12,344 --> 00:20:17,418
Doesn't matter. If you understand
something, that's enough for me.
316
00:20:17,482 --> 00:20:21,453
I know why you put
the potter's wheel in the garage.
317
00:20:22,454 --> 00:20:23,990
And why did I do that, Tim?
318
00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:28,835
It's your struggle
with isolation to preserve friction.
319
00:20:30,262 --> 00:20:32,139
What?
320
00:20:32,197 --> 00:20:35,371
It's all about intimacy.
You just want to spend more time with me.
321
00:20:35,434 --> 00:20:37,710
No, Tim.
322
00:20:37,769 --> 00:20:40,875
The reason I'm taking pottery
is so I can get away from you.
323
00:20:40,939 --> 00:20:43,180
- What?
- I need some time alone.
324
00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:45,347
- This isn't anything to do with intimacy?
- No.
325
00:20:45,410 --> 00:20:51,918
I need some time and space to do
something that I enjoy, for myself, for me.
326
00:20:51,984 --> 00:20:55,193
When I don't have
to think about you and the kids.
327
00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:58,064
There's a fine how-do-you-do.
328
00:20:58,123 --> 00:21:01,536
- I always think about you.
- Oh, really?
329
00:21:01,593 --> 00:21:03,504
Even when you're watching football?
330
00:21:03,562 --> 00:21:06,133
Especially when I'm watching football.
331
00:21:06,198 --> 00:21:08,200
Yeah, I sit down and watch football,
I'm always thinking:
332
00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:13,148
"God, if Jill were here,
she could get me another beer."
333
00:21:16,108 --> 00:21:19,146
Face it, Tim.
We both need time away from each other.
334
00:21:19,211 --> 00:21:22,351
- And that's what this is all about?
- Yeah.
335
00:21:22,414 --> 00:21:26,260
And if we have
the time away from each other,
336
00:21:26,318 --> 00:21:30,061
then we can appreciate
the time that we do have together.
337
00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:31,328
Oh.
338
00:21:31,390 --> 00:21:33,563
- Like now.
- Yeah?
339
00:21:33,625 --> 00:21:36,834
Kids are off at the park
playing commandos.
340
00:21:36,895 --> 00:21:42,038
I notice that somebody erased my name
from the next hour on the garage timetable.
341
00:21:42,100 --> 00:21:44,080
It's just you and me.
342
00:21:44,136 --> 00:21:46,377
Got any ideas about
what we could be doing?
343
00:21:46,438 --> 00:21:48,782
I'm getting one.
344
00:21:51,176 --> 00:21:52,814
And what would that be?
345
00:21:52,878 --> 00:21:54,880
Work on the hot rod.
346
00:22:01,987 --> 00:22:03,989
Oh, ho ho.
347
00:22:09,194 --> 00:22:13,108
You won't believe it, but you were wrong,
Wilson. Jill didn't want intimacy.
348
00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:14,473
Is that so?
349
00:22:14,533 --> 00:22:18,276
And you'll never guess
what she really wanted.
350
00:22:18,337 --> 00:22:21,341
- A little more time to herself?
- Huh?
351
00:22:21,406 --> 00:22:24,182
You see, Tim,
as Khalil Gibran said:
352
00:22:24,242 --> 00:22:27,587
"For the pillars of the temple
stand apart,
353
00:22:27,646 --> 00:22:31,287
and the oak tree and the cypress
grow not in each other's shadow."
354
00:22:31,350 --> 00:22:34,627
Ah, that's beautiful.
Oh, yeah, it is, yeah.
355
00:22:36,088 --> 00:22:38,432
I have no idea
what you just said.
356
00:22:39,658 --> 00:22:43,196
I just mean that occasionally,
it's healthy for you and Jill to be apart.
357
00:22:43,261 --> 00:22:47,209
- Why didn't you say that in the first place?
- It just came to me.
358
00:22:47,265 --> 00:22:51,805
Sometimes it's not good
to get me too early in the day, Tim.