1
00:01:13,606 --> 00:01:17,577
You know, all this week, AI and I
have done our Tool Time salute

2
00:01:17,644 --> 00:01:19,646
to painting.

3
00:01:21,681 --> 00:01:23,024
And I...

4
00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:25,825
I got to thinking about
something a little disjointed.

5
00:01:25,885 --> 00:01:29,423
Women have been telling me that
they think men are insensitive.

6
00:01:29,489 --> 00:01:30,991
That we don't listen.

7
00:01:31,057 --> 00:01:33,037
Boy, that really irks me.
How about you, AI?

8
00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:35,733
- Well, Tim, I think...
- Exactly my point, Al. You know...

9
00:01:35,795 --> 00:01:39,402
Men are sensitive to other things.
For instance,

10
00:01:39,466 --> 00:01:42,504
when a woman sees a hot rod what
does she see? A car.

11
00:01:42,569 --> 00:01:45,550
When a man sees a hot rod
he sees all the love and care

12
00:01:45,605 --> 00:01:48,211
that it took to make
the details of the hot rod.

13
00:01:48,274 --> 00:01:51,312
To illustrate my point, I've invited
a good friend of mine,

14
00:01:51,377 --> 00:01:54,381
Fred Axelby, from Axelby's
Street Rods down here on the show.

15
00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:56,927
He's actually the one who motivated
me to build my own hot rod.

16
00:01:57,917 --> 00:01:59,487
Let's get him out here.
With a big Tool Time welcome.

17
00:01:59,552 --> 00:02:05,264
Lisa, bring him on out.
A big hand. C'mon.

18
00:02:05,325 --> 00:02:07,498
- It goes here.
- Thank you, Lisa.

19
00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:09,836
- Fred, Good to have you here.
- Great to be here, Tim.

20
00:02:09,896 --> 00:02:11,432
- Great to be here.
- Good deal.

21
00:02:11,498 --> 00:02:13,136
All right, what are we gonna do
on the next show?

22
00:02:13,199 --> 00:02:19,081
Well, Tim, first we're going to apply
120 coats of hand-rubbed lacquer.

23
00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:21,779
Do you suppose a fender has
120 coats 'cause it's cold?

24
00:02:25,879 --> 00:02:31,522
- I really doubt it, Tim.
- It sounds like a lot of work, though.

25
00:02:31,584 --> 00:02:35,964
Oh, it is, Tim. But it's worth it
if you're a real detail man.

26
00:02:36,022 --> 00:02:38,525
Details.
See, it's exactly my point.

27
00:02:38,591 --> 00:02:41,299
Well, there is one detail, Tim.

28
00:02:41,361 --> 00:02:43,466
AI, we don't have any more
time for details.

29
00:02:43,530 --> 00:02:48,878
Join me next time when we
put this fender back...

30
00:02:48,935 --> 00:02:51,575
We just put that primer on backstage.

31
00:02:51,638 --> 00:02:54,448
- Was that the detail, AI?
- Yes, it was, Tim.

32
00:02:54,974 --> 00:02:57,716
Well, anyway, thanks for being with us.
I'm Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor

33
00:02:57,777 --> 00:03:01,247
hoping all your lacquer finishes are
glossy. See ya next time.

34
00:03:05,385 --> 00:03:08,229
You know, Tim, a little thinner
will take that right off.

35
00:03:08,288 --> 00:03:09,995
Great. Good night, Lisa.

36
00:03:10,056 --> 00:03:11,558
Listen, I've got some bad news.

37
00:03:11,624 --> 00:03:14,503
Murray called. He can't make
the poker game tonight.

38
00:03:14,561 --> 00:03:18,065
Oh, no. We can't play
with three men.

39
00:03:18,131 --> 00:03:20,111
Well, maybe we should call it off.

40
00:03:20,166 --> 00:03:22,009
No. We're not calling it off.

41
00:03:22,068 --> 00:03:24,241
I don't care if I have to drag
some idiot off the street.

42
00:03:24,304 --> 00:03:27,217
- Excuse me, Tim.
- Al!

43
00:03:27,273 --> 00:03:28,343
- Hey.
- Yeah?

44
00:03:28,408 --> 00:03:29,409
Um...

45
00:03:29,475 --> 00:03:32,945
We need a fourth player for our poker
game tonight. Do you wanna join us?

46
00:03:33,012 --> 00:03:35,686
Oh, I haven't played in about 10 years.

47
00:03:35,748 --> 00:03:38,228
Perfect.

48
00:03:39,552 --> 00:03:41,589
Why don't you come over
about 7:30 then?

49
00:03:41,654 --> 00:03:45,261
- OK. Who's playing?
- Well, it'll be Fred, myself, you,

50
00:03:45,325 --> 00:03:47,498
and Charlie, my brother-in-law.
You've met him.

51
00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:49,562
- Just the guys, huh?
- You bet.

52
00:03:49,629 --> 00:03:51,802
OK, well, what should I wear?

53
00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:57,708
Well, Al, I can't speak for
Fred or Charlie,

54
00:03:57,770 --> 00:04:02,844
but I'd like to see you in something
simple yet revealing.

55
00:04:03,776 --> 00:04:06,313
- You're saying it doesn't matter.
- That's what I'm saying, AI.

56
00:04:06,379 --> 00:04:09,223
- Unless you get an evening dress...
- I'll see you at 7:30.

57
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:10,249
OK, buddy.

58
00:04:11,517 --> 00:04:14,862
Ooh, that smells!

59
00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:17,367
Do we have to eat it?

60
00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:19,130
No, honey. This isn't food.

61
00:04:19,192 --> 00:04:21,172
I'm gonna give myself a facial
before I go to bed.

62
00:04:21,227 --> 00:04:22,865
Will you stir this for me? Hi.

63
00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:24,909
Hi. I got everything I need.

64
00:04:24,964 --> 00:04:29,777
Chips, soda, all ready for
that poker game. Whoa!

65
00:04:29,836 --> 00:04:31,645
Looks like your mom made some dip.

66
00:04:31,704 --> 00:04:35,015
- Don't eat that!
- I know. It's for company.

67
00:04:46,486 --> 00:04:48,989
Is that your mother's recipe?

68
00:04:51,557 --> 00:04:54,868
No. It's not a dip.
It's an organic face mask.

69
00:04:58,698 --> 00:05:01,736
See, what I do is, I put this in
the refrigerator for a little while,

70
00:05:01,801 --> 00:05:03,974
and when I put it on my face
it makes it all pretty and tight.

71
00:05:04,037 --> 00:05:08,645
It looks just like this.
Hi, everybody. I'm so beautiful.

72
00:05:10,343 --> 00:05:12,584
Hey, Mom, can Brad and I
stay home tonight?

73
00:05:12,645 --> 00:05:15,990
No. It's poker night.
Men only. No children.

74
00:05:16,049 --> 00:05:20,395
But Dad, Mom and Aunt Robin want to
take us to an arts and crafts fair.

75
00:05:20,453 --> 00:05:22,490
Great. That's a good thing to do.

76
00:05:22,555 --> 00:05:25,559
Men's handywork,
craftsmen, men, wood...

77
00:05:25,625 --> 00:05:28,162
- You'll love it.
- Aw, man.

78
00:05:28,227 --> 00:05:30,503
Well, Tim, if the boys don't want to go,
maybe we should just all stay home.

79
00:05:30,563 --> 00:05:35,012
No! When your sister gets here,
she goes, Charlie stays.

80
00:05:35,068 --> 00:05:37,844
- It's a man's night tonight.
- "Man's night."

81
00:05:37,904 --> 00:05:41,078
Yeah. Man's night. Cigars, smoke,

82
00:05:41,140 --> 00:05:44,121
scratching parts of you, burping,

83
00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:49,490
body noises without any kind of apology,
"Oh, excuse me. I'm sorry. I fluffed."

84
00:05:49,549 --> 00:05:53,429
How is that different from
any other night?

85
00:05:53,486 --> 00:05:57,400
Well, there'll be other men
doing it with me.

86
00:05:59,292 --> 00:06:02,034
I'll get it. Charlie, open
your wallet right now,

87
00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:06,373
'cause I got the... Hi, Robin.
Where's Charlie?

88
00:06:06,432 --> 00:06:09,936
Last time I saw my husband he was
on the corner of Fulton and Fourth.

89
00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:12,277
- Why?
- He said he'd rather walk

90
00:06:12,338 --> 00:06:14,978
then let me drive.
So, I took off without him.

91
00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:17,180
We were supposed to play
poker tonight.

92
00:06:17,243 --> 00:06:20,190
Tim, I think she's upset.

93
00:06:20,246 --> 00:06:23,420
How can you think about poker
when my marriage is falling apart?

94
00:06:23,483 --> 00:06:25,520
Well, I figure if it's falling apart,

95
00:06:25,585 --> 00:06:29,590
I better win something from Charlie,
before the alimony starts.

96
00:06:29,655 --> 00:06:32,431
Tim, you are an insensitive cretin.

97
00:06:32,492 --> 00:06:36,736
- You're right. Dip?
- Tim!

98
00:06:39,031 --> 00:06:42,945
Robin! Robin!

99
00:06:43,002 --> 00:06:44,675
- Hey, Charlie.
- Are you nuts?

100
00:06:44,737 --> 00:06:49,709
Hey, Tim. I told you you could drive
here. Why did you leave me there?

101
00:06:49,776 --> 00:06:52,950
I didn't like your attitude.

102
00:06:53,012 --> 00:06:55,959
- Charlie, what happened?
- I was driving over here, Jill,

103
00:06:56,015 --> 00:06:58,859
and she started nagging on me.
"Let me drive. Let me drive."

104
00:06:58,918 --> 00:07:01,990
So I pull over, I get out of
the car so she could scoot over,

105
00:07:02,054 --> 00:07:05,228
- and she took off on me.
- Buddy, a little advice.

106
00:07:05,291 --> 00:07:08,795
When you're arguing in
the car, don't get out.

107
00:07:08,861 --> 00:07:11,740
For your information,
I wasn't nagging!

108
00:07:11,798 --> 00:07:16,008
Oh, what do you call that screaming
in my ear for 14 blocks, Rob?

109
00:07:16,068 --> 00:07:18,378
- I wasn't screaming in your ear, Charlie.
- Oh, God, it's started.

110
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:20,782
They'll be at this for hours. You gotta
get your sister out of the house

111
00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:24,083
- so we can play cards.
- Tim, she's is my sister. I gotta help her.

112
00:07:24,143 --> 00:07:26,817
Well, take her to that craft fair.
Knit a rug. Blow some glass.

113
00:07:26,879 --> 00:07:29,291
I don't care,
but get her out of the house.

114
00:07:29,348 --> 00:07:33,763
We'll get them out as soon
as they calm down, OK?

115
00:07:33,820 --> 00:07:36,130
Dad, Aunt Robin locked herself
in our bathroom.

116
00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:38,260
Does this mean we're not gonna
to the arts and crafts fair?

117
00:07:38,324 --> 00:07:40,304
You're going to the arts and crafts fair

118
00:07:40,359 --> 00:07:42,669
as soon as your Aunt Robin
is ready to go.

119
00:07:42,728 --> 00:07:46,141
- Robin, give me those keys!
- No.

120
00:07:46,199 --> 00:07:50,944
- I want them now.
- OK. Fine. You want your keys?

121
00:07:51,003 --> 00:07:53,415
There are your keys.

122
00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:55,680
Aunt Robin, are we still going to
the arts and crafts fair?

123
00:07:55,741 --> 00:07:57,721
No, honey.
I'm not going anywhere.

124
00:07:57,777 --> 00:08:01,725
- Yeah! We're not going to the art fair!
- Oh, great.

125
00:08:01,781 --> 00:08:04,694
I can't believe she threw my keys
into the bushes.

126
00:08:04,750 --> 00:08:07,822
Yeah. That must have been 30 feet.

127
00:08:07,887 --> 00:08:10,891
She always had a real good arm.

128
00:08:13,392 --> 00:08:16,134
Maybe I ought to just find my keys
and get out of here.

129
00:08:16,195 --> 00:08:19,267
No. The guys poker game is the last
thing you've got left in your life.

130
00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:22,142
- Don't give up everything to her.
- Well, I've only been married 23 days,

131
00:08:22,201 --> 00:08:25,273
and every day it's been
the same thing. Nag, nag, nag.

132
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:28,444
"Pick up your socks, pick up your
underwear, pick up your dishes."

133
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:33,389
Charlie, pick up your keys.

134
00:08:33,446 --> 00:08:35,016
Let me tell you something about women.

135
00:08:35,081 --> 00:08:37,322
Women are a
product of their mothers.

136
00:08:37,383 --> 00:08:39,920
And their mothers before that,
and their mothers before that.

137
00:08:39,986 --> 00:08:43,456
This nagging is a genetic thing.
It goes way back, you know?

138
00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:45,503
Maybe to caveman days.

139
00:08:45,558 --> 00:08:47,560
The Serengeti's quiet.
You can hear a pin drop.

140
00:08:47,627 --> 00:08:50,073
But out of a cave hole:
"Hey, Grog,"

141
00:08:50,129 --> 00:08:53,440
"get your hairy butt out of that bed."

142
00:08:53,499 --> 00:08:57,037
"Did you drag this wildebeest
across this floor?"

143
00:08:57,103 --> 00:08:59,982
"I've been down on my knuckles
and knees all day."

144
00:09:00,039 --> 00:09:06,388
"L washed your loin cloth this morning.
Use some leaves, will ya?"

145
00:09:06,445 --> 00:09:09,915
Why do you think man
invented the wheel?

146
00:09:09,982 --> 00:09:13,691
So he could leave home
now and then.

147
00:09:14,420 --> 00:09:18,891
Crazy. All right, my deal.
Seven Card Stud. Everybody antes.

148
00:09:18,958 --> 00:09:21,438
Why do they call it "stud?"

149
00:09:21,494 --> 00:09:25,169
Well, I think it's
because you're here, AI.

150
00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:29,407
Charlie, you should have seen this
'40 Chevy project I was working on.

151
00:09:29,468 --> 00:09:31,641
Oh, that pickup down at your shop.
Beauty.

152
00:09:31,704 --> 00:09:34,913
It's lime green. Lt's metal flake...
About a mile deep paint job.

153
00:09:34,974 --> 00:09:36,817
This thing is just unbelievable.
It's got a...

154
00:09:36,876 --> 00:09:39,550
454, big Chevy V-8,
tunnel rams, dual quads,

155
00:09:39,612 --> 00:09:42,593
polished heads, 350 turbo trans,
10-inch torque converter.

156
00:09:42,648 --> 00:09:45,424
I mean a sweet piece of metal. Oooh!

157
00:09:45,484 --> 00:09:49,296
This is it, right here. Men talking.
Cigar smoke. Cars.

158
00:09:52,091 --> 00:09:54,697
Don't mind me.
I'm just getting a soda.

159
00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:56,831
You're not down here to get a soda.
You're down here...

160
00:09:56,896 --> 00:09:58,170
Charlie, Charlie, please.
Robin, come on.

161
00:09:58,230 --> 00:10:00,141
This is the third soda in 10 minutes.

162
00:10:00,199 --> 00:10:02,270
Jill and I are thirsty.
Do you have any chips?

163
00:10:02,335 --> 00:10:06,977
Yeah. There. You want some dip?

164
00:10:07,039 --> 00:10:10,851
Chips will be fine.

165
00:10:10,910 --> 00:10:13,516
You know, Charlie, she's gonna keep
interrupting the game

166
00:10:13,579 --> 00:10:19,120
- if you don't apologize.
- Hey, never apologize.

167
00:10:19,185 --> 00:10:20,323
It's admitting you're wrong.

168
00:10:20,386 --> 00:10:22,889
I have never once
apologized to any woman.

169
00:10:22,955 --> 00:10:24,434
Freddie, how many times
you been married?

170
00:10:24,490 --> 00:10:29,166
- Three.
- Why do you suppose that is?

171
00:10:29,228 --> 00:10:31,538
I can't find a woman
who understands me.

172
00:10:34,500 --> 00:10:36,377
Let me jump in here, if I could.

173
00:10:36,435 --> 00:10:38,745
Charlie, Jill and I have been
married 12 years.

174
00:10:38,804 --> 00:10:40,283
Good marriage for one reason.

175
00:10:40,339 --> 00:10:42,910
Everyday I get up in the morning,
look her in the eyes and say,

176
00:10:42,975 --> 00:10:46,149
"Jill, I'm sorry."

177
00:10:49,215 --> 00:10:50,694
For what?

178
00:10:50,750 --> 00:10:52,457
Everything. Just being a man.

179
00:10:52,518 --> 00:10:55,055
Having an Adam's apple.
Just breathing. That's it.

180
00:10:55,121 --> 00:10:57,465
Why should I apologize? She's the one
who drove off and left me in the cold.

181
00:10:57,523 --> 00:11:00,026
It doesn't matter who's at fault here.
If you don't apologize,

182
00:11:00,092 --> 00:11:02,129
we're not gonna play cards.

183
00:11:05,965 --> 00:11:07,672
- Robin?!
- What?

184
00:11:07,733 --> 00:11:10,646
Come on down here. Charlie wants
to say something to ya.

185
00:11:10,703 --> 00:11:16,210
Now, when you apologize to a woman
just look at the floor and nod.

186
00:11:16,275 --> 00:11:18,585
All right. All right.

187
00:11:18,644 --> 00:11:23,457
You know, the apology might be more
effective if you really meant it.

188
00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:25,086
Ha-ha.

189
00:11:26,752 --> 00:11:29,392
Guess which one of us
at this table's not married?

190
00:11:29,455 --> 00:11:30,456
Boom.

191
00:11:43,602 --> 00:11:45,741
You wanted to say something?

192
00:11:49,575 --> 00:11:52,181
I'm... sorry.

193
00:11:52,244 --> 00:11:55,953
- Good apology.
- Very good.

194
00:11:56,015 --> 00:12:01,260
- Honey, I shouldn't have driven off.
- Oh, that's OK.

195
00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:04,199
So this means from now on,
when I want to drive the car, I can?

196
00:12:04,256 --> 00:12:07,703
Hey, I said I was sorry, not stupid.

197
00:12:10,229 --> 00:12:13,642
Oh, no!

198
00:12:17,103 --> 00:12:20,949
- Quarter to you.
- Already in.

199
00:12:21,006 --> 00:12:23,418
- All right.
- <i>I</i> fold.

200
00:12:23,476 --> 00:12:26,753
Really? You folded every
hand tonight, AI.

201
00:12:26,812 --> 00:12:30,282
I prefer to be cautious.

202
00:12:30,349 --> 00:12:35,264
There's a reason they
call it gambling, AI.

203
00:12:35,321 --> 00:12:38,859
- I'll call.
- OK. Two pair. Queens and eights.

204
00:12:38,924 --> 00:12:41,234
I haven't had a decent hand all night.

205
00:12:41,293 --> 00:12:46,265
Well, I haven't seen Robin for a while.
Maybe she's OK now.

206
00:12:46,332 --> 00:12:49,245
Mm-hm. No. She's not OK.

207
00:12:49,301 --> 00:12:51,008
Hey, I know I'm a bit of a slob,

208
00:12:51,070 --> 00:12:52,811
but she used to think it was
cute before we were married.

209
00:12:52,872 --> 00:12:54,715
Now I can't get her off my back.

210
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:59,189
You want her off your back?
Do something unexpected.

211
00:12:59,245 --> 00:13:02,624
Like the laundry, but make sure
she knows you're doing it.

212
00:13:02,681 --> 00:13:06,629
"Honey, where's the fabric softener?
I'm doing the laundry."

213
00:13:06,685 --> 00:13:10,098
And then when you... start mumbling
like, "I can't seem to get the whites"

214
00:13:10,156 --> 00:13:14,605
as clean as you get them, hon."
They love that stuff.

215
00:13:14,660 --> 00:13:21,100
You know, Tim, the trouble with your
whites may be you're not pre-soaking.

216
00:13:25,070 --> 00:13:28,313
- Thank you, AI.
- Let's ante up.

217
00:13:31,544 --> 00:13:34,991
You know, I've been married 12 years.

218
00:13:35,047 --> 00:13:36,492
And the reason I have
a good marriage

219
00:13:36,549 --> 00:13:38,995
is because of one word.
Compromise.

220
00:13:39,051 --> 00:13:41,395
And who does all the compromise
in a relationship? Men.

221
00:13:41,453 --> 00:13:45,333
It's ways 60/40.
Now, let's play some cards.

222
00:13:45,391 --> 00:13:48,031
- Three kings. Is that good?
- I fold.

223
00:13:48,093 --> 00:13:49,731
Me too.

224
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:58,945
<i>L like everything to be 50/50. I like a he
to be a he and she to be a she.</i>

225
00:14:01,574 --> 00:14:04,714
Robbie can I give you just
a little piece of advice?

226
00:14:04,777 --> 00:14:08,486
- No.
- Well, you're gonna hear it anyway.

227
00:14:08,547 --> 00:14:10,959
Marriage is about one thing:
Compromise.

228
00:14:11,016 --> 00:14:12,723
- Guess who gets to do most of that?
- We do.

229
00:14:12,785 --> 00:14:16,562
It's 70/30.

230
00:14:16,622 --> 00:14:18,693
Unless you count
childbirth, then it's 97/3.

231
00:14:18,757 --> 00:14:19,757
Yeah, I know.

232
00:14:19,792 --> 00:14:22,136
Now, listen, you need to
learn to let some things go,

233
00:14:22,194 --> 00:14:24,834
because you know you make
everything such a big deal.

234
00:14:24,897 --> 00:14:28,003
Just eliminate the things that
drive you the craziest.

235
00:14:28,067 --> 00:14:32,777
Well, that would be Charlie.
He is such a slob, Jill.

236
00:14:32,838 --> 00:14:37,548
He leaves his clothes on the floor,
his wet towels on the bed.

237
00:14:37,610 --> 00:14:41,023
- I wish he was more like Tim.
- Ha!

238
00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:42,923
At least Tim helps you out
around the house.

239
00:14:42,982 --> 00:14:46,020
Well, of course he does.
I trained him.

240
00:14:46,085 --> 00:14:50,556
Without me he'd be in the backyard
eating out of a trough.

241
00:14:51,624 --> 00:14:54,332
How did you train him?

242
00:14:54,393 --> 00:14:58,034
Well, first, I got rid of the trough.

243
00:14:58,097 --> 00:14:59,974
Come on. What did you do?

244
00:15:00,032 --> 00:15:04,174
I just used positive reinforcement.
You remember

245
00:15:04,236 --> 00:15:07,979
that puppy that dad brought home?
We had so much trouble housebreaking.

246
00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:10,953
- Puddles?
- Yeah.

247
00:15:11,010 --> 00:15:14,514
I did the same stuff with Tim
that we did with Puddles.

248
00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:18,460
Oh, this is good. You taught him
to roll over and play dead?

249
00:15:18,484 --> 00:15:21,294
No, Tim already knew how to do that.

250
00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:26,028
All right. A quarter to you. I'm in.

251
00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:28,367
- I'm in.
- Me, too.

252
00:15:28,427 --> 00:15:31,806
Al folds.

253
00:15:31,864 --> 00:15:33,036
I'm in.

254
00:15:33,098 --> 00:15:37,945
Well, you don't say. Welcome to
the game, AI . It's about damn time.

255
00:15:38,003 --> 00:15:41,746
How much is the most you can raise?

256
00:15:41,807 --> 00:15:46,881
Well, there's a $3.00 limit,
Daddy Warbucks.

257
00:15:47,980 --> 00:15:51,393
OK, I raise that.

258
00:15:51,450 --> 00:15:53,555
Well, he must have something good.
I'm out..

259
00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:55,155
I'm out.
He better have something good.

260
00:15:55,220 --> 00:15:57,598
I'm sticking.
What do you have, AI?

261
00:15:57,656 --> 00:16:03,072
A flush. All black cards.
Read 'em and cry.

262
00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:13,578
I hate to burst your bubble, AI,
but a flush is all the same suit.

263
00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:16,984
Clubs, diamonds...
All the same something.

264
00:16:17,042 --> 00:16:19,989
Oh. Then I fold.

265
00:16:22,848 --> 00:16:26,295
Ante up. Let's play.

266
00:16:26,352 --> 00:16:29,333
Jill and I have been talking and...

267
00:16:29,388 --> 00:16:32,961
I realize your car means a lot to you.

268
00:16:33,025 --> 00:16:36,302
And I think we should discuss it.

269
00:16:36,362 --> 00:16:39,502
- In a minute, Rob.
- No, we need to talk, now.

270
00:16:39,565 --> 00:16:42,102
Unbelievable. You wait till
I get three aces...

271
00:16:42,167 --> 00:16:43,510
I fold.

272
00:16:43,569 --> 00:16:45,913
- I fold.
- I fold.

273
00:16:45,971 --> 00:16:48,042
Thanks a lot, Robin.
You blew the whole hand.

274
00:16:48,107 --> 00:16:51,145
Oh, I guess I'm the only one worried
about this relationship.

275
00:16:51,210 --> 00:16:54,589
Ah, come on. I'm not worried
about the relationship.

276
00:16:54,646 --> 00:16:56,819
I thought the best thing
about being married

277
00:16:56,882 --> 00:16:59,692
was knowing we're ways gonna
be there to work it out.

278
00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:02,392
- You mean that?
- Yes.

279
00:17:02,454 --> 00:17:04,934
You're not mad about the three aces?

280
00:17:04,990 --> 00:17:09,905
No!
But I'm crazy about the Four Tops.

281
00:17:11,363 --> 00:17:15,470
- I missed you, cupcake.
- I missed you, too, pookie.

282
00:17:17,236 --> 00:17:20,012
All right, now that we got that over with,
can we play cards now, Chuck?

283
00:17:20,072 --> 00:17:21,745
- Do you want to go home?
- Let's go.

284
00:17:21,807 --> 00:17:23,184
- Yes!
- Charlie, where you going?

285
00:17:23,242 --> 00:17:24,744
- We're playing cards here.
- Bye, Robbie.

286
00:17:24,810 --> 00:17:26,721
- See you next month, Tim.
- Bye, Charlie.

287
00:17:26,779 --> 00:17:29,089
Charlie, we can't play with three guys.
Charlie!

288
00:17:29,148 --> 00:17:31,526
- Maybe Jill would like to join us.
- No, she wouldn't.

289
00:17:31,583 --> 00:17:34,587
- Oh, thanks, AI. I love poker.
- Hey, you can't sit at this table

290
00:17:34,653 --> 00:17:37,395
unless you can bench press
150 pounds.

291
00:17:37,456 --> 00:17:39,629
AI, sit down.

292
00:17:43,629 --> 00:17:45,973
Come on Tim, I can play poker.
What are you doing here?

293
00:17:46,031 --> 00:17:49,171
You want Chicago,
High-Low, Anaconda... What?

294
00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:51,339
- What's Anaconda?
- It's a snake, AI.

295
00:17:51,403 --> 00:17:54,145
Now, shut up for a minute.
You can't play at this table

296
00:17:54,206 --> 00:17:57,449
unless you know the compression
ratio of a 327 Chevy engine.

297
00:17:57,509 --> 00:17:59,989
Boy, you are really tough on your wife.

298
00:18:00,045 --> 00:18:03,891
Oh, talk about it
Mr. Three-Alimony-Payment Man.

299
00:18:03,949 --> 00:18:05,189
I'm very good to my wife.

300
00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:07,890
- Then you should let her play.
- Yeah. That's right.

301
00:18:07,953 --> 00:18:09,830
OK, great. OK, great.
Let's just lift up the felt,

302
00:18:09,888 --> 00:18:11,663
put down some doilies,
get the sewing machine out.

303
00:18:11,723 --> 00:18:14,602
This is supposed to be men playing
poker tonight.

304
00:18:14,660 --> 00:18:18,005
You can't play poker
with three people.

305
00:18:18,063 --> 00:18:20,373
- How about Canasta?
- Well, now you're talking.

306
00:18:20,432 --> 00:18:21,001
Aah!

307
00:18:21,002 --> 00:18:22,239
Aah!

308
00:18:29,741 --> 00:18:31,880
Wilson, can I ask you a question?

309
00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:34,220
I believe you just did, Tim.

310
00:18:37,015 --> 00:18:41,191
Heard a lot of noise coming from
your house tonight.

311
00:18:41,253 --> 00:18:43,665
Yeah, that's Jill's sister and her
husband. Newlyweds.

312
00:18:43,722 --> 00:18:45,497
They're ways fighting.

313
00:18:45,557 --> 00:18:48,197
Well, I seem to remember

314
00:18:48,260 --> 00:18:50,763
a couple of newlyweds that moved in
next door to me

315
00:18:50,829 --> 00:18:52,866
that I thought would
never stop fighting.

316
00:18:52,931 --> 00:18:55,810
Jill and I. Boy, is that odd.

317
00:18:55,868 --> 00:18:59,577
We've been married 12 years
and I still get so mad at her.

318
00:18:59,638 --> 00:19:03,677
- Angry... Just 'cause she's a woman.
- So, what is your question?

319
00:19:03,742 --> 00:19:06,848
How do women and men even
stay together?

320
00:19:06,912 --> 00:19:11,327
It has to do with barbed wire, Tim.

321
00:19:12,518 --> 00:19:14,191
<i>Huh'?</i>

322
00:19:16,255 --> 00:19:20,169
As a boy I used to spend summers
at my Uncle Leonard's farm.

323
00:19:20,225 --> 00:19:23,763
At the edge of his
property he had a huge oak tree.

324
00:19:23,829 --> 00:19:28,005
Running through the middle of that tree
was an old barbed wire fence.

325
00:19:28,066 --> 00:19:30,171
- It went right through the tree?
- Right through the middle of the tree.

326
00:19:30,235 --> 00:19:33,842
When a tree is planted close to
a fence it has nowhere to grow.

327
00:19:33,906 --> 00:19:37,444
As it expands and grows bigger
it extends over the fence

328
00:19:37,509 --> 00:19:40,854
and slowly envelops the wire.

329
00:19:40,913 --> 00:19:45,862
The two separate entities gradually
become one.

330
00:19:45,918 --> 00:19:48,660
Am I the tree or the barbed wire?

331
00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:53,100
Well, I don't think you're the tree, Tim..

332
00:19:53,158 --> 00:19:55,934
Ah, the point is, the two were joined
without destroying the tree

333
00:19:55,994 --> 00:20:01,068
or losing the integrity of the fence.
It's almost as if they...

334
00:20:01,133 --> 00:20:03,807
belong together.

335
00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:07,214
Like Jill and me.

336
00:20:11,643 --> 00:20:14,783
Well, I don't know, Tim, but it looks
like everything in the universe

337
00:20:14,846 --> 00:20:16,416
is in harmony tonight.

338
00:20:16,481 --> 00:20:20,054
Not quite yet, Wilson.

339
00:20:22,521 --> 00:20:25,400
- Hi.
- Hi.

340
00:20:26,892 --> 00:20:30,601
I'm sorry your poker night
turned out to be a bust.

341
00:20:30,662 --> 00:20:32,539
Well, it certainly wasn't your fault.

342
00:20:32,598 --> 00:20:36,546
And I do apologize for being so rough.

343
00:20:36,602 --> 00:20:38,479
It's just that sometimes...

344
00:20:38,537 --> 00:20:42,713
I don't know where my fence ends
and your tree begins.

345
00:20:42,774 --> 00:20:44,776
Huh?

346
00:20:44,843 --> 00:20:47,847
I just wanted one night
of playing poker with the guys.

347
00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:50,689
- With the guys?
- That was it.

348
00:20:50,749 --> 00:20:52,990
Well, I think that I can give that to you.

349
00:20:55,153 --> 00:20:57,497
Just call me Murray.

350
00:21:00,459 --> 00:21:04,839
So, how about those Pistons?
Think they'll win the series?

351
00:21:04,896 --> 00:21:07,433
You're pathetic.

352
00:21:07,499 --> 00:21:09,775
- What's the game?
- Depends what we're playing.

353
00:21:09,835 --> 00:21:13,942
- High card?
- What are the stakes?

354
00:21:14,006 --> 00:21:16,077
Winner has to kiss the loser.

355
00:21:17,643 --> 00:21:19,645
Murray!

356
00:21:24,116 --> 00:21:26,357
I had no idea.

357
00:21:26,418 --> 00:21:28,694
- I'm in.
- All right.

358
00:21:32,491 --> 00:21:34,266
Come here, Murray.

359
00:21:35,394 --> 00:21:37,670
Give me that cigar.

360
00:21:42,701 --> 00:21:45,272
Before we go, let's take one
last look at this fender.

361
00:21:45,337 --> 00:21:49,547
Boy, that hard work paid off, AI.
We applied 120 coats of lacquer.

362
00:21:49,608 --> 00:21:51,315
Mmm-mmm-mmm. '- "We", Tim?

363
00:21:51,376 --> 00:21:57,190
Well, you did the first coat of lacquer,
I did the next 119.

364
00:21:57,249 --> 00:22:01,391
Well, like I said, between us
we applied 120 coats.

365
00:22:01,453 --> 00:22:04,491
You know, this fender reminds me
of a good marriage.

366
00:22:04,556 --> 00:22:07,002
Stick with me on this one.

367
00:22:07,059 --> 00:22:09,835
All you see on the outside is
a shiny lacquer finish.

368
00:22:09,895 --> 00:22:11,738
You don't know about
the hard work that went into it.

369
00:22:11,797 --> 00:22:13,902
Like a good marriage. You see a good
marriage on the outside

370
00:22:13,965 --> 00:22:16,036
but you don't know about
the hard work that went into it.

371
00:22:16,101 --> 00:22:19,674
The enamel finish and the marriage,
both need hard work

372
00:22:19,738 --> 00:22:22,184
and dedication to make them
come out right.

373
00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:24,481
The only difference is,

374
00:22:24,543 --> 00:22:27,149
you want your mother-in-law to steer
clear of your marriage,

375
00:22:27,212 --> 00:22:30,819
but right in front of your fender.

376
00:22:30,882 --> 00:22:34,193
Just kidding, Nana. Ha-ha!

377
00:22:34,252 --> 00:22:36,172
Well, that's it for me,
Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor