1 00:00:01,334 --> 00:00:04,167 Before we get started, I want to remind our audience that next time on Tool Time 2 00:00:04,237 --> 00:00:06,228 we have some very special guests. 3 00:00:06,306 --> 00:00:12,836 That superstar racing team of Mario and Michael Andretti will be here. All right. 4 00:00:16,383 --> 00:00:19,841 I'm very excited to have my racing heroes on the show. 5 00:00:19,919 --> 00:00:23,047 It's hard to imagine you getting so jazzed-up about racing, the way you drive. 6 00:00:23,123 --> 00:00:25,683 He drives like an old woman in a church parking lot. 7 00:00:25,759 --> 00:00:27,886 Watch out for the speed bump! Ba-bump. 8 00:00:27,961 --> 00:00:29,952 I drive defensively, Tim. 9 00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:32,294 You dress defensively, Al. 10 00:00:34,601 --> 00:00:39,197 - My mother gave me this shirt. - Why? Did she outgrow it? 11 00:00:39,739 --> 00:00:40,467 No... 12 00:00:40,540 --> 00:00:42,940 - Anyway, let's get back to our salute... - (squelch) 13 00:00:43,009 --> 00:00:44,772 ...to lubricants. 14 00:00:44,844 --> 00:00:47,972 For this demonstration, we've split this straight six-cylinder down the middle. 15 00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:51,347 Tim, my mother has very fine taste. Her shirts look nothing like this. 16 00:00:51,418 --> 00:00:56,549 Right, Al. Anyway, try to imagine, if you will, that my fists are pistons. 17 00:00:56,623 --> 00:00:59,057 All right, Al. Close up the engine. 18 00:00:59,125 --> 00:01:01,059 Gladly, Tim. 19 00:01:01,961 --> 00:01:03,553 Oh! 20 00:01:04,464 --> 00:01:06,728 OK. Let's try to start this engine. 21 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:09,428 (makes engine noises) 22 00:01:14,140 --> 00:01:17,940 Well, it won't start. That's because the pistons are stuck. 23 00:01:18,011 --> 00:01:22,812 Just like they were last year during the NBA play-offs. 24 00:01:22,882 --> 00:01:25,407 But they will move if they're lubricated. 25 00:01:25,485 --> 00:01:29,683 That's if the oil pump is pumping oil through the system, the pistons will move. 26 00:01:29,756 --> 00:01:32,088 So, let's open the engine up and show 'em how the oil gets in there. 27 00:01:32,158 --> 00:01:35,685 - Grab the oil and open me up, Al. - Ah, here it is, of course, motor oil. 28 00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:37,354 Well, gee. 29 00:01:37,430 --> 00:01:41,298 I wouldn't want to get any of this on my nice shirt my mother gave me. 30 00:01:41,367 --> 00:01:47,363 - I better go change before I let you out. - Come on, open this up, Al. Al! 31 00:01:51,678 --> 00:01:55,444 Tool Time tip of the day: when you're insulting your coworker's mother, 32 00:01:55,515 --> 00:01:58,484 make sure you're not locked into an engine compartment. 33 00:01:58,551 --> 00:02:01,987 Al. I know you're back there Al. I know right where you're standing 34 00:02:02,055 --> 00:02:04,319 Al. let me out 35 00:02:54,140 --> 00:02:58,668 Mark, stop scratching or I'm gonna have to cut your fingernails even shorter. 36 00:02:58,745 --> 00:03:00,042 (Mark) But it itches. 37 00:03:00,113 --> 00:03:03,514 Well, bring the calamine lotion down again. 38 00:03:03,583 --> 00:03:05,175 (Mark) Aw, man. 39 00:03:05,251 --> 00:03:08,414 Mom, please, please don't run away. 40 00:03:08,488 --> 00:03:09,955 These are for your father. 41 00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:12,514 He's never had chickenpox and I don't want Mark to give 'em to him, 42 00:03:12,592 --> 00:03:15,618 so he's gonna have to move out for a few days. 43 00:03:15,695 --> 00:03:16,719 Huh. 44 00:03:16,796 --> 00:03:18,991 Well, I've never had chickenpox either. 45 00:03:19,065 --> 00:03:21,898 I think I'll just go pack my bags and check into a nice hotel. 46 00:03:21,968 --> 00:03:24,630 Yeah, yeah, yeah. You stay right where you are. I want you to get 'em. 47 00:03:24,704 --> 00:03:28,435 Did you kiss your brother like I told you to? 48 00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:33,043 Oh, yeah. We're getting married next Tuesday. 49 00:03:33,112 --> 00:03:34,807 I wish you would be nicer to your brother. 50 00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:38,874 You know, he's probably the only little brother you're ever gonna have. 51 00:03:38,952 --> 00:03:42,649 In fact, I guarantee you he's the only little brother you're ever gonna have. 52 00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:44,883 So here, just take this juice to him. 53 00:03:44,958 --> 00:03:49,224 And you better be sick when you get up in the morning. 54 00:03:51,097 --> 00:03:53,122 - Hi, baby. - Oh, hi. 55 00:03:54,033 --> 00:03:56,627 - Why are my bags over here? - You gotta leave. 56 00:03:56,703 --> 00:03:58,864 (sighs) 57 00:04:01,774 --> 00:04:06,268 This is 'cause I said your mother was the world's second largest mammal, isn't it? 58 00:04:09,816 --> 00:04:11,716 I never heard that. 59 00:04:12,952 --> 00:04:15,420 I never said it. 60 00:04:16,522 --> 00:04:18,956 Remember that fever that Mark had last night? 61 00:04:19,392 --> 00:04:21,826 - Flu? - It's chickenpox. 62 00:04:21,894 --> 00:04:25,091 There are germs everywhere. Don't touch that. 63 00:04:25,164 --> 00:04:27,860 I can't get sick. The Andrettis are gonna be on Tool Time 64 00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:30,266 I'll go to my mom's. No, no. A hotel! 65 00:04:30,336 --> 00:04:32,304 Well, check with Al before you do anything else. 66 00:04:32,372 --> 00:04:35,034 - Why? - When I called to warn you about that, 67 00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:37,576 he said that you could stay at his apartment. 68 00:04:37,644 --> 00:04:40,044 Stay with Al. That's a good one. 69 00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:43,844 - Well, I told him that you'd get back to him. - You didn't just say no? 70 00:04:43,916 --> 00:04:47,283 Well, I didn't know what to say. He was really being sweet. 71 00:04:47,353 --> 00:04:49,981 He called you his roomie. 72 00:04:50,890 --> 00:04:52,323 Oh, man. 73 00:04:52,392 --> 00:04:56,021 Well, you know, he said he wanted to do something nice 74 00:04:56,095 --> 00:05:02,261 because of that lubricant thing that he did to you - and please don't explain that. 75 00:05:03,269 --> 00:05:05,169 - Mom. - What? That's Mark. 76 00:05:05,238 --> 00:05:06,899 Don't let him get near you. Go on, go on, go on. 77 00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:10,033 Mark, I gotta go away for a couple of days. Feel better, buddy. 78 00:05:10,109 --> 00:05:13,545 - Thanks. I'll miss you. - I'll miss you too, buddy. 79 00:05:13,613 --> 00:05:17,049 - Hey, Wilson. - Hi-de-ho, Tim. 80 00:05:17,116 --> 00:05:18,606 - (Tim) Smells like you're barbecuing. - Mm-hm. 81 00:05:18,685 --> 00:05:20,949 - Smells good. Burgers, hotdogs, chicken? - No, no, no. 82 00:05:21,020 --> 00:05:25,821 Today we're having some grilled grasshopper-and-cricket kabobs. 83 00:05:27,293 --> 00:05:32,196 I got the recipe out of my survival newsletter, Aftermath 84 00:05:34,934 --> 00:05:39,132 I'll be gone a couple days. Mark got chickenpox and I've never had them so... 85 00:05:39,205 --> 00:05:40,467 Mm-hm-hm-hm. 86 00:05:40,540 --> 00:05:45,500 - (Tim) Can I ask you a question? - Throw another bug on my barbecue. 87 00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:49,573 Al wants me to stay at his apartment. 88 00:05:49,649 --> 00:05:51,981 - And I really don't want to. - Mm-hm. 89 00:05:52,051 --> 00:05:54,952 But if... if I say no, I'm gonna hurt his feelings, 90 00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:58,650 and I don't want to do that, so I guess I'm gonna have to stay there, right? 91 00:05:58,725 --> 00:06:00,522 Well, Tim. 92 00:06:00,593 --> 00:06:05,053 - Your feelings are important too. Right? - Yeah. 93 00:06:05,131 --> 00:06:07,429 Well, then you should tell Al exactly how you feel. 94 00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:11,197 You know what they say - "Honesty is the best policy." 95 00:06:11,270 --> 00:06:14,034 All right, all right, all right. I'll just tell him the truth. 96 00:06:14,107 --> 00:06:16,166 I mean, guys don't lie to each other. 97 00:06:16,242 --> 00:06:19,075 I'll just say I don't want to stay there. He'll understand that. 98 00:06:19,145 --> 00:06:20,544 - Thanks, Wilson. - Oh, you're welcome. 99 00:06:20,613 --> 00:06:24,640 Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to scrounge up an appetizer. 100 00:06:24,717 --> 00:06:26,480 (man) Tim! 101 00:06:26,552 --> 00:06:28,486 - Hi, Tim! - Al? 102 00:06:28,554 --> 00:06:31,182 - What are you doing here? - Talk about timing. 103 00:06:31,257 --> 00:06:34,920 I was just coming up the driveway and Jill was coming down with your bags, 104 00:06:34,994 --> 00:06:37,087 so I put them in my station wagon out front. 105 00:06:37,163 --> 00:06:40,155 - I really appreciate that, Al, but I... - Oh, and here, I... 106 00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:42,827 I-I had this made specially for you, this key. 107 00:06:42,902 --> 00:06:45,769 It's got your initials on it. 108 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:49,834 Al, I don't wanna stay with you. 109 00:06:56,149 --> 00:06:59,050 I mean, I don't wanna stay with you for very long. 110 00:06:59,118 --> 00:07:01,416 I don't wanna overstay my welcome, you know, become a burden. 111 00:07:01,487 --> 00:07:04,183 Oh, well, it's no burden. Come on, roomie. 112 00:07:07,126 --> 00:07:09,720 Welcome to my humble abode, roomie. 113 00:07:09,796 --> 00:07:11,957 Thanks, Allie. 114 00:07:14,834 --> 00:07:16,495 So. 115 00:07:16,569 --> 00:07:19,800 Well, this is where you'll sleep. I made this myself. 116 00:07:19,872 --> 00:07:20,964 Yep. 117 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:22,837 I'll take the hammock, up here. 118 00:07:22,909 --> 00:07:24,399 - The... Of course, you know the... - Bathroom. 119 00:07:24,477 --> 00:07:26,308 The bathroom is right through here. That's right. 120 00:07:26,379 --> 00:07:29,143 And your towels are the ones with the matador on 'em. 121 00:07:31,818 --> 00:07:34,514 And this is your closet space. 122 00:07:34,587 --> 00:07:39,354 I didn't realize that flannel could reproduce so quickly. 123 00:07:39,425 --> 00:07:41,290 (AI snorts) 124 00:07:41,828 --> 00:07:44,888 You know, normally, I don't find you that funny, but... 125 00:07:44,964 --> 00:07:50,027 but now that we're roomies, I realize you actually do have a sense of humor. 126 00:07:50,803 --> 00:07:53,863 It's from working with you, Al. Who's this guy here? 127 00:07:53,940 --> 00:07:57,103 - It's Gordy Hawkins. - A race driver or something? 128 00:07:57,176 --> 00:08:01,306 Oh, no, no. World-class square-dance caller. 129 00:08:01,747 --> 00:08:04,113 You know, I'm taking his correspondence course, 130 00:08:04,183 --> 00:08:07,550 "Getting in Touch with the Square Dancer in You." 131 00:08:09,722 --> 00:08:12,782 (country) 132 00:08:13,226 --> 00:08:16,059 (AI and caller) Well, join hands, circle to the left 133 00:08:16,128 --> 00:08:18,426 Just circle to the left 134 00:08:19,265 --> 00:08:23,031 Round and round Kick those feet up off the ground 135 00:08:24,036 --> 00:08:26,937 Make it quick Jim take Sue and Pam take Dick 136 00:08:27,006 --> 00:08:28,906 (doorbell) 137 00:08:28,975 --> 00:08:32,172 Promenade, go around the ring Just promenade, go two by two 138 00:08:32,245 --> 00:08:34,577 Till you get back home 139 00:08:38,417 --> 00:08:40,317 Oh, hello, Cynthia. 140 00:08:40,386 --> 00:08:42,377 - Hi, Al. - Who's at the door? 141 00:08:42,455 --> 00:08:44,685 Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know you had company. 142 00:08:44,757 --> 00:08:47,225 No, Cynthia, please. 143 00:08:47,293 --> 00:08:49,454 I would like you to meet Tim Taylor. 144 00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:52,157 - This is the man that I work with. - Hi, Cynthia. How are you? 145 00:08:52,231 --> 00:08:55,997 Oh, you're the one who assists Al on his show. 146 00:09:02,108 --> 00:09:03,700 That's me. 147 00:09:04,477 --> 00:09:08,880 - Can I borrow a cup of sugar? - Well, sure. Sure thing. Yeah. 148 00:09:08,948 --> 00:09:13,749 I'm baking a cake. Maybe you could come over later and have some. 149 00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:16,855 - Well, I would love to. - Yeah? 150 00:09:16,923 --> 00:09:20,984 But, I... Well, gee, I've got some activities planned for Tim and me tonight. 151 00:09:21,060 --> 00:09:23,460 Oh, boy. 152 00:09:24,130 --> 00:09:28,396 Well, here's some sugar packets. They ought to add up to a cup. 153 00:09:28,467 --> 00:09:30,935 Oh, well, thanks. Bye. 154 00:09:31,003 --> 00:09:34,131 - It's nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you, Cynthia. 155 00:09:34,206 --> 00:09:36,265 Good night. 156 00:09:39,178 --> 00:09:42,113 - Great. Al, what's the matter with you? - What? 157 00:09:42,181 --> 00:09:43,239 She invited you over. 158 00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:48,185 She doesn't want to bake a cake. She wants to sample the Al dessert tray. 159 00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:53,351 I know that, Tim. It's just that she's on the rebound. She's vulnerable. 160 00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:55,690 I don't wanna take advantage of that. 161 00:09:55,761 --> 00:09:57,820 Oh, Al. 162 00:09:57,897 --> 00:10:01,492 It's not like a beautiful woman stops by your apartment every day. 163 00:10:01,567 --> 00:10:04,001 Actually, she does. 164 00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:06,363 Hey, partner, I'll tell you what. 165 00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:08,532 Why don't we go down to Big Mike's, 166 00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:11,907 get ourselves some burgers, have a beer? 167 00:10:11,978 --> 00:10:16,244 Well, no, oh, no, no. Listen, this is our first night together. 168 00:10:16,315 --> 00:10:19,682 Come on, partner. They've got that big widescreen TV they just put in. 169 00:10:19,752 --> 00:10:21,185 Well, I... 170 00:10:21,253 --> 00:10:25,553 I've got a roast in the Crockpot and I have some great entertainment lined up. 171 00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:29,891 I have a... I have a tape that I think you're going to like. 172 00:10:29,962 --> 00:10:34,126 - Road Runner? Terminator? Stooges? - Even better. 173 00:10:35,134 --> 00:10:37,500 (tune of "Deck the Halls") 174 00:10:41,941 --> 00:10:43,636 Do you recognize the little boy? 175 00:10:43,709 --> 00:10:46,234 - It's you. - That's me, yes! That's me at three! 176 00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:49,042 My mother has 17 years of me growing up 177 00:10:49,115 --> 00:10:53,211 and she put them all on twelve eight-hour tapes. 178 00:10:54,453 --> 00:10:58,389 I have practically my whole life here for you to see. 179 00:11:03,095 --> 00:11:05,620 Mom, can I have some ice cream? 180 00:11:05,698 --> 00:11:09,600 - For breakfast? - Please? I'm really itching. 181 00:11:12,772 --> 00:11:15,070 Tell no one. 182 00:11:16,175 --> 00:11:18,473 - Hi, Dad. - Feel better? 183 00:11:18,544 --> 00:11:20,273 Kind of. 184 00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:22,405 Hi, honey. Is this the jacket you wanted? 185 00:11:22,481 --> 00:11:25,041 - Oh. - (Jill laughs) 186 00:11:26,552 --> 00:11:29,817 I guess I should kick you out of the house more often, huh? 187 00:11:29,889 --> 00:11:34,292 If I ever say it's hard living with you, just say one word. Al! 188 00:11:36,929 --> 00:11:38,726 It's that bad, huh? 189 00:11:38,798 --> 00:11:42,825 His mother recorded his whole life on videotape. 190 00:11:42,902 --> 00:11:46,702 Last night it was three hours of "Muskie fishing with Uncle Phil." 191 00:11:46,772 --> 00:11:48,205 Urgh. 192 00:11:48,274 --> 00:11:49,639 Do you know that in the seventh grade 193 00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:52,940 he built a replica of the Washington Monument with Popsicle sticks? 194 00:11:53,012 --> 00:11:57,779 - Well, lots of kids do stuff like that. - It was life-sized. 195 00:11:59,285 --> 00:12:01,378 Last night it was "Al - The Early Years." 196 00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:02,887 Tonight... 197 00:12:02,955 --> 00:12:05,515 "Puberty." 198 00:12:05,591 --> 00:12:09,083 "Starring Al." 199 00:12:09,161 --> 00:12:13,530 - Poor baby. You look exhausted. - (sighs) 200 00:12:13,599 --> 00:12:16,033 I don't think I've slept for 20 minutes. 201 00:12:16,102 --> 00:12:18,161 You've never heard snoring like that. 202 00:12:18,237 --> 00:12:20,137 Wanna bet? 203 00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:25,773 - I don't snore. - Then you've got a propeller up your nose. 204 00:12:27,379 --> 00:12:30,644 He says he doesn't snore either. I got proof. 205 00:12:30,716 --> 00:12:34,015 I wasn't sleeping anyway, so I taped him. 206 00:12:34,086 --> 00:12:36,816 - You taped him? - Yeah. 207 00:12:36,889 --> 00:12:39,653 That is so weird. 208 00:12:39,725 --> 00:12:42,751 I think it's time for you to move into a hotel. 209 00:12:42,828 --> 00:12:44,295 I'll join you there. 210 00:12:44,363 --> 00:12:47,230 I'll go to the Barkley. Meet me there. 211 00:12:47,299 --> 00:12:49,927 OK. I'll check with Wilson and see if he can stay tonight. 212 00:12:50,002 --> 00:12:50,991 - Wilson? - Yeah. 213 00:12:51,070 --> 00:12:53,538 He's coming over to stay with Mark while I go to the drugstore. Bye. 214 00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:55,437 Bye. 215 00:12:56,809 --> 00:12:58,777 We're pretty darn excited here at Tool Time 216 00:12:58,844 --> 00:13:01,335 To wrap up Auto Week, I've invited some very special guests here. 217 00:13:01,413 --> 00:13:04,041 We caught 'em at Michigan International Speedway 218 00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:05,879 trying out a new motor for their racecar. 219 00:13:05,951 --> 00:13:10,149 Please welcome the superstar father-son racing team of Mario and Michael Andretti. 220 00:13:10,222 --> 00:13:12,281 (sound of car engine) 221 00:13:20,499 --> 00:13:22,967 Come on, fellas. 222 00:13:23,869 --> 00:13:25,496 Thank you. 223 00:13:25,571 --> 00:13:27,971 Why don't you guys take a seat? Let's talk about racing. 224 00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:31,476 Man and machine. Man and machine - the ultimate relationship. 225 00:13:31,544 --> 00:13:34,911 'Course, not as important as the father-and-son relationship. 226 00:13:34,980 --> 00:13:38,939 Or the sucking-up-to-the-guests relationship. 227 00:13:39,018 --> 00:13:41,282 Let's talk about racecars for a minute. 228 00:13:41,353 --> 00:13:43,583 This is what every man dreams about at night. 229 00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:47,922 - It's what I dream about, Tim. - That blows that theory. 230 00:13:49,328 --> 00:13:50,727 Tell me, Mario, what's the toughest thing 231 00:13:50,796 --> 00:13:53,492 about taking a racecar around a track at 180mph? 232 00:13:53,566 --> 00:13:55,830 Adjusting the radio. 233 00:13:55,901 --> 00:13:58,461 (AI laughs/snorts) 234 00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:04,541 That's a good one, Mario. You know, I've read that 235 00:14:04,610 --> 00:14:08,808 the smell of the tires can tell you if you're pushing your car too hard. 236 00:14:08,881 --> 00:14:10,815 Al, I think maybe you should let the guests talk. 237 00:14:10,883 --> 00:14:12,908 But, Tim, Al is right. 238 00:14:12,985 --> 00:14:16,785 Thank you, Michael. Hm, hm, hm, hm, hm. 239 00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:19,324 Well, we all know about the smell thing. 240 00:14:19,391 --> 00:14:20,881 What about the hearing thing, Al? You know about that? 241 00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:24,088 Go ahead, Michael. Tell him about the hearing thing. 242 00:14:24,163 --> 00:14:26,393 What hearing thing? 243 00:14:27,066 --> 00:14:29,193 You know, when you listen to the hum of the motor 244 00:14:29,268 --> 00:14:31,463 so you know precisely when to shift. 245 00:14:31,537 --> 00:14:35,473 - Excellent point, Tim. - Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. 246 00:14:38,043 --> 00:14:40,910 Anyway, I've got a little test I got here today that could be kinda fun. 247 00:14:40,980 --> 00:14:44,882 I had our sound man, Klaus, put together some engine sounds. 248 00:14:44,950 --> 00:14:47,180 We're gonna play the engine sounds back and see if these professionals 249 00:14:47,253 --> 00:14:49,187 can tell us which engine's which. You guys wanna play? 250 00:14:49,255 --> 00:14:51,246 - Sure. Let's do it. - We're ready. 251 00:14:51,323 --> 00:14:54,952 You're not playing, Al. Take your hands off the guests. 252 00:14:55,027 --> 00:14:59,123 - OK, Klaus, if you will, that first engine. - (engine sound) 253 00:14:59,198 --> 00:15:02,565 - Anybody? - That'd be a Ford five-liter V-eight. 254 00:15:02,635 --> 00:15:04,933 Right on the money, yeah. 255 00:15:07,439 --> 00:15:10,533 Well, let's see if daddy-o here is as smart as his boy. 256 00:15:10,609 --> 00:15:12,975 All right, Mario, it's your chance. Klaus, second motor. 257 00:15:13,045 --> 00:15:14,706 (engine sound) 258 00:15:16,348 --> 00:15:19,044 Two-liter Alpha Romeo Spider engine. 259 00:15:19,118 --> 00:15:22,144 Bull's-eye. Bull's-eye! Unbelievable. 260 00:15:23,055 --> 00:15:27,583 Bravo! You know, for a moment there I thought it was the three-liter. 261 00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:30,390 Actually, so did I. Hey, you're pretty good. 262 00:15:30,462 --> 00:15:34,489 As a matter of fact, I wouldn't mind having you on my pit crew. 263 00:15:34,566 --> 00:15:36,932 Hey, what about me? 264 00:15:38,037 --> 00:15:42,701 I wouldn't mind having you on Danny Sullivan's pit crew. 265 00:15:45,010 --> 00:15:47,171 Another good one, Mario. 266 00:15:48,814 --> 00:15:51,715 Al, the hand thing. OK. 267 00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:54,651 Well, since Al sounds like he knows so much, 268 00:15:54,720 --> 00:16:00,352 why don't we invite Al to play this last and final round, all right? Yeah. 269 00:16:00,426 --> 00:16:03,884 - My pleasure. - OK. Klaus, that third engine, please. 270 00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:06,124 (snoring) 271 00:16:15,741 --> 00:16:18,676 I don't know what that is. Sounds pretty rough. 272 00:16:18,744 --> 00:16:22,976 Yes. Sounds like there's an obstruction in the carburetor. 273 00:16:23,849 --> 00:16:26,647 Well, you're both close. 274 00:16:26,719 --> 00:16:30,246 That's Al snoring. I taped that last night. 275 00:16:33,459 --> 00:16:35,484 Honey, I'm home! 276 00:16:38,030 --> 00:16:39,588 Al, why did you take off so early? 277 00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:41,656 The Andrettis stuck around to say goodbye to you. 278 00:16:41,734 --> 00:16:46,034 I had to come home, Tim. Dinner does not make itself. 279 00:16:50,642 --> 00:16:55,079 Al, I hope you're not upset, but I was thinking... 280 00:16:55,147 --> 00:16:59,948 it might be a good idea if I skipped dinner and just went to a hotel. 281 00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:04,319 Fine. I think that is a very good idea. 282 00:17:04,390 --> 00:17:07,188 Are you upset about something? 283 00:17:07,259 --> 00:17:12,253 You just embarrassed me in front of two people that I happen to most idolize. 284 00:17:12,331 --> 00:17:14,663 Me and who else? 285 00:17:16,101 --> 00:17:18,899 Is this about the snoring gag? The crowd loved it. It was real funny. 286 00:17:18,971 --> 00:17:24,466 Tim, it's very difficult to go through life with a deviated septum. 287 00:17:24,543 --> 00:17:29,537 It could be worse. You could be working at the circus as "Al, the Donkey Boy." 288 00:17:30,549 --> 00:17:35,145 Tim, I... I opened up my life to you and you used that to hurt me. 289 00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:37,211 The whole reason I wanted you to come over here 290 00:17:37,289 --> 00:17:39,655 was so we could get to know each other better as people, 291 00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:42,694 and I thought maybe that would make us better friends. 292 00:17:42,761 --> 00:17:45,093 And you don't think that happened? 293 00:17:47,099 --> 00:17:49,795 All right. Let's eat the dinner. Let's eat dinner. Come on. 294 00:17:49,868 --> 00:17:52,302 No. No, thank you. 295 00:17:52,371 --> 00:17:55,204 I think that... that you should leave. 296 00:17:55,274 --> 00:17:59,210 No, I want to see more of your home movies. Al, what are you doing? Come on. 297 00:17:59,278 --> 00:18:01,405 Where are you going with the bags? 298 00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:04,449 What are you putting them out here for? Al... Oh... 299 00:18:04,516 --> 00:18:06,006 Right. 300 00:18:06,952 --> 00:18:09,580 - Come on, let me in. - Go away, Tim. 301 00:18:09,655 --> 00:18:12,283 Al, you can't end it like this. We've had a relationship for three years. 302 00:18:12,357 --> 00:18:14,689 It's over between us. 303 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:24,525 - Al, open the door. - No! 304 00:18:24,603 --> 00:18:28,801 You should never have made that recording of me in bed. 305 00:18:30,409 --> 00:18:32,468 Wait, wait, wait. You got this all wrong. Whoa, whoa, whoa. 306 00:18:32,544 --> 00:18:34,944 Cynthia. Cynthia. Hello? 307 00:18:35,013 --> 00:18:37,709 The reason I'm staying here is 'cause one of my kids has chickenpox 308 00:18:37,783 --> 00:18:38,909 and I haven't had it. 309 00:18:38,984 --> 00:18:40,542 - Oh, you're married? - Yes. 310 00:18:40,619 --> 00:18:43,179 - To a woman? - Yes. 311 00:18:43,255 --> 00:18:46,850 Cut it out. This has nothing to do with him and I. He's not attracted to me or men. 312 00:18:46,925 --> 00:18:50,588 As a matter of fact, it's not my place to say it, but he's attracted to you. 313 00:18:50,662 --> 00:18:52,994 Then why does he keep rejecting me? 314 00:18:53,065 --> 00:18:55,795 I really shouldn't be saying this, but it's because he respects you 315 00:18:55,868 --> 00:18:57,995 and he wants to get to know you better. 316 00:18:58,070 --> 00:19:01,870 - Really? - Al is a tremendously sensitive man. 317 00:19:01,940 --> 00:19:06,502 And underneath all that flannel is a really big heart. 318 00:19:06,578 --> 00:19:09,376 Would you help me out for a minute? 319 00:19:10,549 --> 00:19:12,608 - (knocking) - Go away, Tim. 320 00:19:12,684 --> 00:19:14,675 (Cynthia) Al, it's me. 321 00:19:20,859 --> 00:19:22,417 Aha! 322 00:19:22,494 --> 00:19:25,520 I was opening the door for Cynthia, not for you. 323 00:19:25,597 --> 00:19:29,055 Al, Tim said some really sweet things about you. 324 00:19:29,134 --> 00:19:31,398 And I didn't even tell her all of 'em. Remember that time at work? 325 00:19:31,470 --> 00:19:33,802 - We had the lathe going. I got my tie in it. - Tim. 326 00:19:33,872 --> 00:19:35,965 No thought of his safety, yanks me out, saves my life. 327 00:19:36,041 --> 00:19:38,805 And the router, the router. We had a router going. The safety broke... 328 00:19:38,877 --> 00:19:40,071 - Tim... - He goes over the table. 329 00:19:40,145 --> 00:19:42,613 - He saves my life pulling the plug out. - Really? 330 00:19:42,681 --> 00:19:44,581 And there's more. Do you remember the time 331 00:19:44,650 --> 00:19:46,413 you jumped in front of that speeding semitruck... 332 00:19:46,485 --> 00:19:49,511 - Tim. ...and saved the elderly nun? 333 00:19:50,289 --> 00:19:52,621 You did? 334 00:19:52,691 --> 00:19:57,628 Cynthia, the story about the nun is nothing... 335 00:19:57,696 --> 00:20:00,392 that I usually talk about. 336 00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:07,498 And he wouldn't because he's so modest. 337 00:20:07,573 --> 00:20:12,101 I'm sure he doesn't want me to tell you this, but without Al, I couldn't do Tool Time 338 00:20:12,177 --> 00:20:14,839 Well, I could, but it'd be tough. 339 00:20:15,414 --> 00:20:17,439 Tool Time is your show? 340 00:20:19,685 --> 00:20:21,880 Tool Time is our show. 341 00:20:23,388 --> 00:20:24,616 Thanks, Tim. 342 00:20:24,690 --> 00:20:27,352 Well, I guess I should be going. 343 00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:31,192 Would you like to stay for dinner? 344 00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:38,431 Would you like to stay for dinner? 345 00:20:38,503 --> 00:20:42,769 That would be lovely. I'll get the cake I made for dessert. 346 00:20:43,408 --> 00:20:45,342 Great. 347 00:20:45,410 --> 00:20:46,968 Right! 348 00:20:47,045 --> 00:20:51,948 - I'm sorry. Was that router bit pushing it? - Oh, no, no, that was a nice touch. 349 00:20:52,017 --> 00:20:54,986 - The nun was pushing it. - Yeah. 350 00:20:55,053 --> 00:20:57,749 Anything I can do to help. I think I'm gonna get outta here. 351 00:20:57,823 --> 00:21:01,350 Oh, well, listen, you can stay the night. 352 00:21:01,426 --> 00:21:06,159 I think, in the interest of our friendship, I better skedaddle, all right? 353 00:21:06,231 --> 00:21:08,893 You two have a good time and enjoy your dinner. 354 00:21:08,967 --> 00:21:11,128 We will. 355 00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:17,534 (country) 356 00:21:18,610 --> 00:21:23,138 (Al) Now join hands, circle to the left Go round the ring, just circle to the left 357 00:21:23,215 --> 00:21:28,209 And do-si-do, go to the right Spin around with all your might 358 00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:33,122 I got chicken nice and hot And home movies you'll like a lot 359 00:21:37,996 --> 00:21:42,262 I'm so glad Mark is finally better. I'm just exhausted. 360 00:21:42,334 --> 00:21:46,737 In the hotel room, the bed was like sleeping on a bag of rocks. 361 00:21:46,805 --> 00:21:49,740 And the room was so small, wasn't it? 362 00:21:49,808 --> 00:21:51,241 Small? 363 00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:55,542 So small the mice were hunchbacked. 364 00:21:55,614 --> 00:22:01,348 It was so small, I put my key in the door, it went through the window. 365 00:22:01,420 --> 00:22:04,548 So small, all you could order was condensed milk. 366 00:22:04,623 --> 00:22:09,560 I had a folding toothbrush. It was so small, there was no room for complaints. 367 00:22:09,628 --> 00:22:12,222 But seriously, Tim. 368 00:22:13,799 --> 00:22:17,257 We better go upstairs before we go to sleep. 369 00:22:17,336 --> 00:22:19,497 (Tim groans) 370 00:22:21,173 --> 00:22:23,232 Help me up. 371 00:22:23,308 --> 00:22:25,367 Help me first. 372 00:22:26,278 --> 00:22:28,838 OK, we'll help each other on "three." 373 00:22:28,914 --> 00:22:30,779 - One. - Mm. 374 00:22:30,849 --> 00:22:32,612 - Two. - Mm. 375 00:22:32,684 --> 00:22:34,515 Three. 376 00:22:36,888 --> 00:22:39,379 Did you get up? 377 00:22:41,026 --> 00:22:43,756 - No. Did you? - Let's just stay here. 378 00:22:45,630 --> 00:22:50,397 It's much better kissing you. Al's beard was so scratchy. 379 00:22:52,170 --> 00:22:54,764 At least you shave. 380 00:22:56,241 --> 00:22:58,402 (Tim snores) 381 00:23:04,249 --> 00:23:07,184 Al, as you know, it's Auto Week here on Tool Time 382 00:23:07,252 --> 00:23:10,346 - And we're celebrating our salute... - (squelch) 383 00:23:10,422 --> 00:23:11,719 ...to lubricants. 384 00:23:11,790 --> 00:23:17,854 That's right. Transmission fluid, grease, oil, gunk. (barks) 385 00:23:17,929 --> 00:23:22,025 Al, do you suppose if Ricky Ricardo, from the old Lucy Show. had oil, 386 00:23:22,100 --> 00:23:25,194 he would have called it a "babaloobricant"? 387 00:23:27,072 --> 00:23:28,937 - They're getting worse, Tim. - Yeah.