1 00:00:01,201 --> 00:00:02,725 When hanging a light fixture or heavy mirror, 2 00:00:02,802 --> 00:00:04,793 what's the first thing we need to do, Al? 3 00:00:04,871 --> 00:00:06,133 Find a stud, Tim. 4 00:00:06,206 --> 00:00:10,370 And l think we've come to the right place, haven't we? 5 00:00:10,443 --> 00:00:12,604 Al, do you recognize this? 6 00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:13,976 Your razor, Tim? 7 00:00:14,047 --> 00:00:17,642 No, actually, it's your razor, Al. l picked it up backstage. 8 00:00:17,717 --> 00:00:22,848 An electric razor can double as a stud finder. (razor runs) 9 00:00:25,658 --> 00:00:28,126 No stud there. 10 00:00:28,194 --> 00:00:30,560 Actually, Al's electric razor can be a stud finder. 11 00:00:30,630 --> 00:00:36,034 lf you listen, the sound of it changes the closer it gets to a stud. 12 00:00:36,102 --> 00:00:38,093 (finds stud) 13 00:00:41,074 --> 00:00:43,599 My mother gave me that razor, Tim. 14 00:00:43,676 --> 00:00:47,043 Why? Did she go back to blades? 15 00:00:47,814 --> 00:00:50,942 This razor can not only keep Al's mother whisker-free, 16 00:00:51,017 --> 00:00:53,042 it's a handy way to find studs around the house. 17 00:00:53,119 --> 00:00:55,883 Well, Tim, l also have a helpful household hint. 18 00:00:55,955 --> 00:00:59,857 l'm going to show the audience something you don't ordinarily do with a potato. 19 00:00:59,926 --> 00:01:01,416 You might wanna keep the kids away from the TV set. 20 00:01:01,494 --> 00:01:03,155 Tim. 21 00:01:04,564 --> 00:01:07,965 Here's a safe way to take a broken bulb from its socket. 22 00:01:08,034 --> 00:01:11,970 You simply take a cut potato, jam it into the socket, twist... 23 00:01:12,038 --> 00:01:14,131 And in minutes you have thousands of curly fries. 24 00:01:14,207 --> 00:01:17,699 - A wonderful snack for TV time... - Tim. Tim. Tim! 25 00:01:17,777 --> 00:01:23,374 l doubted the razor, but l gave it a chance. Please do not mock my potato. 26 00:01:23,450 --> 00:01:26,351 You say, ''potato,'' l say, ''stupid.'' 27 00:01:27,153 --> 00:01:28,450 Tim, this'll work. 28 00:01:28,521 --> 00:01:32,457 You twist, and pull the broken bulb right out of the socket. But first, you must... 29 00:01:32,525 --> 00:01:35,050 Jam it in the light. 30 00:01:41,401 --> 00:01:43,631 ...unplug the lamp. 31 00:02:52,305 --> 00:02:54,296 (Jill) Well, what do you think? Can we put the kids in the middle? 32 00:02:59,479 --> 00:03:02,937 ( Tim) Well, congratulations. You're now the Ping-Pong champion in the Taylor house. 33 00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:05,041 - You let me win. - l didn't let you win. 34 00:03:05,118 --> 00:03:07,552 You got that delicate high slow lob. 35 00:03:07,620 --> 00:03:11,021 l lose concentration before it hits the table. lt's brilliant. 36 00:03:11,090 --> 00:03:14,856 - Where are all the mugs? - ln the sink with the dirty dishes. 37 00:03:14,928 --> 00:03:17,158 Shucks. l want a cup of coffee. 38 00:03:17,230 --> 00:03:19,698 Why don't you just wash one? 39 00:03:19,766 --> 00:03:25,102 Mark, a man never loads a dishwasher till the sink is completely filled. 40 00:03:25,171 --> 00:03:28,538 And besides, l just want some coffee, and all l need there is something with a handle. 41 00:03:28,608 --> 00:03:32,044 And l think the moo-cow creamer's gonna work. 42 00:03:34,013 --> 00:03:36,004 (moos) 43 00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:39,442 That's good. That's good. 44 00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:41,812 - Hi, sweetie. - Hi, honey. 45 00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:45,221 Great news. Mr. Preston - you know, the features editor - 46 00:03:45,291 --> 00:03:48,021 loved the research that l did on the weekend-getaway story. 47 00:03:48,094 --> 00:03:49,152 That's great. 48 00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:52,357 He's gonna let me research next month's cover story. 49 00:03:52,432 --> 00:03:55,560 l get to work for a whole nother week. l am so excited. 50 00:03:55,635 --> 00:03:58,832 That's great. The cover? You've been working a month, you're doing the cover? 51 00:03:58,905 --> 00:03:59,929 - Yes. - What you gonna do? 52 00:04:00,006 --> 00:04:02,998 Tiger Stadium moving? The new riverfront project? 53 00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:04,737 Compost. 54 00:04:06,179 --> 00:04:08,841 You're not bringing your work home, are you? 55 00:04:08,915 --> 00:04:12,043 No, it's industrial compost. Hi, sweetie. 56 00:04:12,118 --> 00:04:15,144 Could be the answer to the big garbage problem. 57 00:04:15,221 --> 00:04:17,849 Did you not notice the dirty dishes in the sink? 58 00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:20,825 - l didn't even notice those there. - But, Dad, you said... 59 00:04:20,893 --> 00:04:23,521 - Eat a grape. - l'm going downstairs. 60 00:04:25,198 --> 00:04:27,428 What are you doing? 61 00:04:29,902 --> 00:04:31,893 (moos) 62 00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:36,966 Enjoying a cup of coffee. 63 00:04:37,043 --> 00:04:40,774 You're sucking coffee out of a cow. 64 00:04:41,347 --> 00:04:44,544 That way l don't have to add milk. 65 00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:46,551 You're so pathetic. 66 00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:50,419 Listen, listen, l gotta get this compost research story done by Friday, 67 00:04:50,490 --> 00:04:54,358 so l'm gonna need all the help l can get. You need to run this house. 68 00:04:54,427 --> 00:04:56,418 (moos) 69 00:04:58,898 --> 00:05:00,388 Not a problem. 70 00:05:00,466 --> 00:05:04,664 l would feel a lot better if you would say, ''l'll do the best l can.'' 71 00:05:04,737 --> 00:05:06,864 You want me to say l'll do the best l can? 72 00:05:06,939 --> 00:05:09,203 Not a problem. 73 00:05:09,275 --> 00:05:12,642 This is a list of all the things that you have to do tomorrow, see? 74 00:05:12,712 --> 00:05:15,010 Now, this is the dry-cleaning slip, you gotta pick that up. 75 00:05:15,081 --> 00:05:17,743 Then you go to the grocery store. Here's the list for that. 76 00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:19,785 Then you gotta make the boys' lunches. 77 00:05:19,852 --> 00:05:23,253 Can you put in some celery sticks, or carrot sticks? 78 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:25,655 Jill, they don't eat that stuff. 79 00:05:25,725 --> 00:05:29,491 They just turn into vegetable missiles in a food fight. 80 00:05:29,562 --> 00:05:31,757 Honey, l'll be able to relax and work a lot better 81 00:05:31,831 --> 00:05:35,858 if l know that you're back here, doing everything the right way. 82 00:05:35,935 --> 00:05:37,425 You mean your way? 83 00:05:37,503 --> 00:05:39,994 That's what l said - the right way. 84 00:05:40,707 --> 00:05:42,834 Mom, we need our pants for football practice. 85 00:05:42,909 --> 00:05:45,776 Oh, no. l meant to wash those this morning. 86 00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:47,540 That's OK, l'll take care of it. l'm running things now. 87 00:05:47,613 --> 00:05:50,104 - Guys, let's go wash those pants. - Uh, Tim, you know, 88 00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:52,708 this is really a complicated deal here. 89 00:05:52,785 --> 00:05:55,515 There's two loads, you know. There's the dark load, 90 00:05:55,588 --> 00:05:58,523 that needs cold water and this darker-blue bleach, 91 00:05:58,591 --> 00:06:00,957 and the white load needs hot water and the white bleach. 92 00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:03,393 And you can't forget to add the fabric softener. 93 00:06:03,463 --> 00:06:07,024 - What time is practice? - 1 5 minutes. 94 00:06:10,737 --> 00:06:12,466 - That load's done. - Thanks, Dad. 95 00:06:12,538 --> 00:06:14,529 Thanks, Dad. 96 00:06:18,811 --> 00:06:20,403 Tim, where are the boys' lunches? 97 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:24,314 l only have two hands, OK? l'll load the dishwasher, then l'll make their lunches. 98 00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:27,615 No, no, no. Honey, you have to make the lunches and then load the dishwasher. 99 00:06:27,687 --> 00:06:29,678 - What is the difference? - (bus horn honks) 100 00:06:29,756 --> 00:06:31,951 - There's the bus. - That's the difference. 101 00:06:32,024 --> 00:06:34,549 - Oh, no. - Now they don't have any lunch. 102 00:06:34,627 --> 00:06:37,152 Hold on, guys, l got this covered. 103 00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:40,529 - l'm buying lunch today. Here's two bucks. - Buy something nutritious. 104 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:43,194 - Yeah, right. - Yeah. 105 00:06:43,269 --> 00:06:46,466 Go get some carrots out of that vending machine they have. 106 00:06:46,539 --> 00:06:49,770 Dad, can l have two dollars for Mark? He's outside, waiting for us. 107 00:06:49,842 --> 00:06:52,868 - Make sure he gets it. - He will. 108 00:06:53,846 --> 00:06:57,509 Well, at least Mark won't spend the money on junk food. 109 00:06:57,583 --> 00:07:00,416 Dad, can l have a peanut butter sandwich for my lunch today? 110 00:07:00,486 --> 00:07:02,351 What are you doing here? l just gave your brothers your lunch money. 111 00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:04,890 Well, at least they didn't beat him up for it. 112 00:07:04,957 --> 00:07:08,449 - You're gonna miss the bus. - lt's OK, honey. Don't worry about it. 113 00:07:08,528 --> 00:07:12,396 l will just give you a ride to school on my way to the compost heap. 114 00:07:12,465 --> 00:07:14,797 Try not to confuse those two, hon. 115 00:07:14,867 --> 00:07:17,768 Are we gonna make the gingerbread house tonight? 116 00:07:17,837 --> 00:07:21,273 Oh, right. The PTA bake sale. 117 00:07:21,340 --> 00:07:27,074 Um, honey, l think we may have to buy that at the bakery this year. 118 00:07:27,146 --> 00:07:28,807 You said you were gonna make one with me. 119 00:07:28,881 --> 00:07:32,783 l know l did. l'm really sorry. lt's just that l'm so busy this week. 120 00:07:32,852 --> 00:07:36,151 - Hey. l'll make you a gingerbread house. - Really? 121 00:07:36,222 --> 00:07:38,281 Yeah. And not just some dinky little house. 122 00:07:38,357 --> 00:07:43,385 We'll get a gingerbread full-service truck-and-auto service centre. 123 00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:46,193 - Wow! - Darn right, wow. Oh, yeah! 124 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:49,896 Go get your coat. 125 00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:52,529 Tim, honey, don't use the blue sponge on the counter. 126 00:07:52,605 --> 00:07:53,594 Huh? 127 00:07:53,673 --> 00:07:55,231 The blue sponge is for the dishes. 128 00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:59,074 - The green sponge is for the counter. - What's the difference? 129 00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:02,308 Well, you're not supposed to use the same sponge on the counter as the dishes. 130 00:08:02,381 --> 00:08:05,782 - So, the blue sponge is just for the sink. - No, not always. 131 00:08:05,852 --> 00:08:10,118 When the blue sponge gets dirty, it gets demoted from the dishes to the counter. 132 00:08:10,189 --> 00:08:12,919 The green sponge gets demoted from the counter to the floor. 133 00:08:12,992 --> 00:08:16,792 Then l pull a new one out from here. lt might be blue, it might be yellow. 134 00:08:16,863 --> 00:08:19,058 (barks) 135 00:08:22,068 --> 00:08:23,535 Tim, are you gonna be able to handle all the... 136 00:08:23,603 --> 00:08:25,161 - l'll be able to handle it. - lf you can't, l could just... 137 00:08:25,238 --> 00:08:28,173 Look, let me do this my way, OK? 138 00:08:28,241 --> 00:08:33,178 You know, Jill, l think it's just about time you saw how effective my way can be. 139 00:08:33,246 --> 00:08:35,407 Mark, shall we show her what's in the garage? 140 00:08:35,481 --> 00:08:37,506 - Why? - Dad fixed the washer. 141 00:08:37,583 --> 00:08:39,608 Oh, no. 142 00:08:43,389 --> 00:08:47,086 What did you do to my washing machine? 143 00:08:47,159 --> 00:08:49,855 Why is it on life support? 144 00:08:51,998 --> 00:08:54,330 - l improved it. - Unimprove it. 145 00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:56,368 - Come on, honey. - lt has lights? 146 00:08:56,435 --> 00:08:58,835 Just for effect, OK? 147 00:08:58,905 --> 00:09:04,070 l have revolutionized the laundry-care system. Now, stay with me on this, OK? 148 00:09:04,143 --> 00:09:06,737 You're watching TV, watching a little football game out there... 149 00:09:06,812 --> 00:09:08,439 - l don't like football. - All right, all right. 150 00:09:08,514 --> 00:09:14,282 You're watching the... opera, and it's 30 to go, all right? You hear the buzzer. Beep! 151 00:09:14,353 --> 00:09:17,550 Time to add the fabric softener. You go, ''Oh.'' You don't wanna leave. 152 00:09:17,623 --> 00:09:21,218 You'll miss that fat broad with the horns and the high notes, spiking the ball, right? 153 00:09:21,294 --> 00:09:23,592 You see what l've got here? Bleach, detergent, fabric softener. 154 00:09:23,663 --> 00:09:27,064 On timers and tubes. This adds it by itself, on a time cycle. 155 00:09:27,133 --> 00:09:29,499 lt's about ready to go, right about... 156 00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:31,434 (timer goes off) 157 00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:45,579 l can't believe it. lt worked. lt actually worked. 158 00:09:46,352 --> 00:09:48,752 As you see, honey, l've got things under control. 159 00:09:48,821 --> 00:09:51,187 - So have a nice day. - lt actually worked! 160 00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:53,248 Have a nice day, honey. 161 00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:57,490 And don't sound so shocked. Mark, Mark! (whistles) 162 00:09:57,563 --> 00:09:59,963 This morning l improved the washer, 163 00:10:00,032 --> 00:10:02,967 this afternoon, l improve the dryer. 164 00:10:03,035 --> 00:10:05,868 - How? - Oh-ho-ho-ho... 165 00:10:07,373 --> 00:10:11,969 See this? Binford's 20-amp high-density electric motor. 166 00:10:12,812 --> 00:10:17,647 Once l attach that to the dryer, it'll spin so fast... 167 00:10:17,717 --> 00:10:23,246 You know those cowboys on your p.j.'s? They'll be throwing up in their saddlebags. 168 00:10:23,322 --> 00:10:26,018 - Wow. - Arr-arr-arr-arr! 169 00:10:31,397 --> 00:10:34,332 l just think that we have done sheet rock to death. 170 00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:36,493 ''Sheet rock to death.'' 171 00:10:36,569 --> 00:10:40,232 Doesn't sound like you talking, Al. That sounds like Maureen Binford. 172 00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:44,766 Well, she is the producer. And l don't think she wants to do a show on sheet rock. 173 00:10:44,844 --> 00:10:48,075 l don't give a sheet rock what she wants to do. lt's my... 174 00:10:48,147 --> 00:10:51,082 People, people. Let's gather. 175 00:10:51,150 --> 00:10:53,880 Maureen, there's only two of us out here. l think we're gathered. 176 00:10:53,953 --> 00:10:55,853 Good. OK... 177 00:10:55,921 --> 00:10:58,185 Let's confab about tomorrow's show. 178 00:10:58,257 --> 00:11:00,748 All set. Tomorrow we're gonna do sheet rock installation. 179 00:11:00,826 --> 00:11:03,693 Oh, Tim. We've done sheet rock to death. 180 00:11:03,763 --> 00:11:07,460 - l was just telling Tim that... - Shut up, Al. 181 00:11:07,533 --> 00:11:09,831 What do you want? To electrocute me in a lamp again with a potato? 182 00:11:09,902 --> 00:11:11,870 No, silly. We already did that. 183 00:11:11,937 --> 00:11:15,634 But l do think we should devote the show to more clever household hints. 184 00:11:15,708 --> 00:11:17,767 l'm thinking... 185 00:11:17,843 --> 00:11:20,835 ''The Bachelor Corner, with Al.'' 186 00:11:20,913 --> 00:11:22,312 Al? 187 00:11:23,249 --> 00:11:24,307 Yeah, you know... 188 00:11:24,383 --> 00:11:26,578 How to get spots out with club soda... 189 00:11:26,652 --> 00:11:29,280 Oh, yeah. Or using vinegar and water to clean windows. 190 00:11:29,355 --> 00:11:32,324 That's a good one, yes. Or how to iron with wax paper. 191 00:11:32,391 --> 00:11:33,949 Maureen. 192 00:11:34,026 --> 00:11:37,018 This is a man's show. We give man advice. 193 00:11:37,096 --> 00:11:40,463 How to pull a nail out of your foot. 194 00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:43,661 What to do with a severed finger. 195 00:11:43,736 --> 00:11:45,829 Men don't wanna know about ironing. 196 00:11:45,905 --> 00:11:48,100 Well, Tim, a lot of men are single. 197 00:11:48,174 --> 00:11:51,610 Yes, they are. And wax paper between the folds when you're ironing 198 00:11:51,677 --> 00:11:54,441 really does give you a nice pleat. 199 00:11:56,315 --> 00:12:00,411 Thank you, Al. l'll remember that next time we do cross-dressing day. 200 00:12:01,487 --> 00:12:05,389 OK, well, l get the feeling we're simpatico. Yes, no, maybe? 201 00:12:05,458 --> 00:12:07,653 We'll do the sheet rock installation. 202 00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:10,787 No, we won't, Tim. Need l remind you? 203 00:12:11,263 --> 00:12:13,254 Producer! (laughs) 204 00:12:14,133 --> 00:12:15,862 (mocking her) Annoying! 205 00:12:17,136 --> 00:12:19,627 - He is such a card. - Yes, he is. 206 00:12:19,705 --> 00:12:22,333 And he needs to be dealt with. 207 00:12:26,712 --> 00:12:28,703 Are you two through? 208 00:12:28,781 --> 00:12:32,342 Ooh, l almost forgot. Jill called. She needs you to pick up Randy. 209 00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:35,353 She said something about being up to her ears in compost. Toodles. 210 00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:38,288 Oh! l never see that. 211 00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:44,727 Now l gotta pick up Randy. Jill was supposed to pick up Randy. 212 00:12:44,797 --> 00:12:48,563 l'm doing a lot more than my share around the house these days. 213 00:12:48,634 --> 00:12:50,261 Well, Tim... 214 00:12:50,336 --> 00:12:53,499 marriage is all about compromise. 215 00:12:53,572 --> 00:12:57,838 Give and take. Understanding each other and sharing. 216 00:12:57,910 --> 00:12:59,969 That was beautiful, Al. 217 00:13:00,045 --> 00:13:02,980 Wanna hold hands and sing ''Feelings''? 218 00:13:05,217 --> 00:13:08,050 l was just... l was just trying to help. 219 00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:12,216 l don't need help on my marriage from a guy who hasn't been married. 220 00:13:12,291 --> 00:13:14,486 You think l don't know what it feels like to be married to you? 221 00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:16,221 Huh? 222 00:13:17,263 --> 00:13:19,527 Sharing a workbench for three long years, 223 00:13:19,598 --> 00:13:23,329 and never having you once put the cap back on the epoxy. 224 00:13:24,436 --> 00:13:25,698 And don't think that l haven't noticed 225 00:13:25,771 --> 00:13:29,298 that you squeeze the tube from the middle instead of the end. 226 00:13:29,375 --> 00:13:35,314 These are just some of the things l have to take home with me every night. 227 00:13:35,381 --> 00:13:37,406 l don't think we should call your segment ''Bachelor Corner.'' 228 00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:41,146 We should call it ''The Alone and Desperate Corner.'' 229 00:13:43,622 --> 00:13:48,924 - l really appreciate this, Wilson. - (Wilson) My pleasure, good neighbor. 230 00:13:48,994 --> 00:13:52,691 Always happy to help out with a molasses emergency. 231 00:13:52,765 --> 00:13:55,666 Jill's working some extra hours, l didn't have a chance to get to the store. 232 00:13:55,734 --> 00:13:58,294 (Wilson) Hm. So you're running the house tonight, huh? 233 00:13:58,370 --> 00:14:00,201 l'm trying to, but she's not making it any easier. 234 00:14:00,272 --> 00:14:03,105 Mm-hm. Mm-hm. (chuckles) 235 00:14:03,175 --> 00:14:07,168 She just can't stand to let me do things the way l want to do them, all right? 236 00:14:07,246 --> 00:14:10,875 Because she just won't deal with the fact that my ways may be different, 237 00:14:10,950 --> 00:14:12,577 but they get the job done. 238 00:14:12,651 --> 00:14:17,145 Well, Tim, sometimes it's hard for people to accept new ideas. 239 00:14:17,223 --> 00:14:18,850 Well, not me. Thank you. 240 00:14:18,924 --> 00:14:22,451 Well, you're a very special man, quite like Galileo. 241 00:14:22,528 --> 00:14:25,429 Yeah. Had his wine. 242 00:14:26,799 --> 00:14:27,959 No, no, no, Tim. 243 00:14:28,033 --> 00:14:31,366 l'm talking about the 1 7th-century ltalian astronomer. 244 00:14:31,437 --> 00:14:35,806 He was ridiculed for teaching that the earth revolves around the sun. 245 00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:38,708 And he believed that? 246 00:14:38,777 --> 00:14:42,008 Tim, the earth does revolve around the sun. 247 00:14:43,015 --> 00:14:47,679 Oh, yeah, yeah. Sure, yeah, it does. lt's just we're spinning so we don't notice it. 248 00:14:47,753 --> 00:14:50,051 - There you go, good neighbor. - What happened to him? 249 00:14:50,122 --> 00:14:54,559 Well, he was threatened with torture and forced to confess that he was wrong. 250 00:14:54,627 --> 00:14:56,618 That's what Jill would like to do to me. 251 00:14:56,695 --> 00:14:59,027 But l'm not confessing anything 'cause l'm not doing anything wrong. 252 00:14:59,098 --> 00:15:01,225 - Tim, that's not the point of the story. - l don't care. 253 00:15:01,300 --> 00:15:03,461 l'm gonna keep doing things my way because we're getting things done. 254 00:15:03,535 --> 00:15:05,594 - Thanks a lot, Wilson. - Tim. 255 00:15:05,671 --> 00:15:07,161 Tim? 256 00:15:07,239 --> 00:15:09,764 Can we talk about compromise? 257 00:15:12,044 --> 00:15:14,069 What is the paint pan for? 258 00:15:14,146 --> 00:15:17,946 Well, l wanna make sure that the walls of the truck-and-auto service centre 259 00:15:18,017 --> 00:15:20,679 are big enough to handle the big rigs. 260 00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:25,122 - Mom never uses paint pans. - Do l look like Mom? 261 00:15:25,557 --> 00:15:27,024 On occasion. 262 00:15:30,229 --> 00:15:32,220 - ls the paint pan clean? - Course it's clean. 263 00:15:32,298 --> 00:15:35,290 l scrubbed it out with turpentine. 264 00:15:36,535 --> 00:15:41,370 - Dad, that's never gonna fit in the oven. - lt'll fit right in the oven. l already... 265 00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:44,932 Just tip it a little bit and it goes right in there. 266 00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:48,345 Mom's gonna freak when she sees the mess you're making. 267 00:15:48,414 --> 00:15:51,713 Don't worry about it. This is a self-cleaning oven. 268 00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:53,843 Dad, these walls won't stay up. 269 00:15:53,919 --> 00:15:56,183 Would you guys cowork with me on this? 270 00:15:56,255 --> 00:15:59,816 That's why l got the caulking compound over here. 271 00:15:59,892 --> 00:16:02,156 You can't use caulk, you have to be able to eat it. 272 00:16:02,227 --> 00:16:04,855 So? We don't have to worry about that. We're just selling it. 273 00:16:04,930 --> 00:16:06,955 Somebody else is eating it. 274 00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:14,406 Maybe caulk would be a last resort. Let's try to make the icing work. 275 00:16:14,473 --> 00:16:18,637 Go out to the garage. Get me some ''C'' clamps and duct tape. 276 00:16:19,545 --> 00:16:21,137 You wrecked it. You wrecked it! 277 00:16:21,213 --> 00:16:22,976 That's what you get fiddling around with the thing now. 278 00:16:23,048 --> 00:16:25,414 - lt was an accident. - You did it on purpose. 279 00:16:25,484 --> 00:16:28,282 - Get off me, you little flea. - Come on, get up. Let him up. 280 00:16:28,354 --> 00:16:30,618 Dad, l can't find the ''C'' clamps. 281 00:16:30,689 --> 00:16:32,782 Whoa, something's burning. 282 00:16:35,561 --> 00:16:38,052 - Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow! - (Mark) Get off me! 283 00:16:38,130 --> 00:16:40,621 - Are you OK? - Yeah. ''C'' clamps... 284 00:16:40,699 --> 00:16:43,827 - Help! - What's going on in here? 285 00:16:43,902 --> 00:16:46,962 - Hey, hey, hey! Get off of him right now. - He started it. 286 00:16:47,039 --> 00:16:48,768 - He wrecked my gingerbread house. - (Brad) Did not. 287 00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:50,832 - Boys, just go upstairs. - (Brad) Come on, Mom. 288 00:16:50,909 --> 00:16:52,308 Now! 289 00:16:52,378 --> 00:16:54,710 Boy, you're home early. 290 00:16:56,815 --> 00:16:59,784 - What is happening here? - Oh, l spilled a little batter. 291 00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:01,717 The oven was too hot, l think, when l put it in there. 292 00:17:01,787 --> 00:17:03,618 - You used a paint pan? - Yeah. 293 00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:05,680 Trying to make those walls big enough for the big rig to get in. 294 00:17:05,758 --> 00:17:06,816 Don't explain. Don't explain. 295 00:17:06,892 --> 00:17:09,793 We'll just scrape it out. Maybe we can save some of the batter. 296 00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:11,762 - Good, that's it, we'll save... - Where's my old spatula? 297 00:17:11,830 --> 00:17:14,390 - lt's right over here. - lt doesn't go over here, it goes over here. 298 00:17:14,466 --> 00:17:16,366 Well, not when l'm doing the cooking. That's where it goes. 299 00:17:16,435 --> 00:17:18,995 When you're home doing the cooking you put it where you want it. 300 00:17:19,071 --> 00:17:21,733 When l'm home? 301 00:17:21,807 --> 00:17:24,275 - ls that what all this is about? - What? 302 00:17:24,343 --> 00:17:27,073 So finally it comes out. 303 00:17:27,146 --> 00:17:30,240 - You don't want me to work. - Because l moved the spatula? 304 00:17:30,315 --> 00:17:35,582 - You resent the fact that l am working. - l do not. 305 00:17:35,654 --> 00:17:38,145 Then why don't you do one thing the way that l ask you to do it? 306 00:17:38,223 --> 00:17:42,057 One?! l've done everything on your stupid little list over here. 307 00:17:42,127 --> 00:17:44,994 You screwed up everything on my stupid little list over there. 308 00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:50,900 - l haven't screwed up everything. - Name one thing you didn't screw up. 309 00:17:52,571 --> 00:17:54,505 Well? 310 00:17:54,573 --> 00:17:55,665 Laundry? 311 00:17:55,741 --> 00:17:58,642 (Randy) Dad! The dryer's going crazy! 312 00:17:58,710 --> 00:18:01,440 Hold on a minute, l'll handle this. You just... 313 00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:05,008 - Wow! This is great. - Come on, get off of there, Randy. 314 00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:08,349 - Get him off! - Unplug it over there. 315 00:18:08,420 --> 00:18:10,479 - You do it. - Honey, it's just 220. 316 00:18:10,556 --> 00:18:12,615 Be careful. Aargh! 317 00:18:12,691 --> 00:18:14,886 Here, just stop the thing. 318 00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:16,552 - Stop it. - All right. All right. l got it. 319 00:18:16,628 --> 00:18:19,096 - OK, look. l'll get this rubber glove. - All right. All right. 320 00:18:19,164 --> 00:18:21,029 - All right, l'm going... - Please, honey... 321 00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:23,295 - All right, all right. - Honey, honey... 322 00:18:23,368 --> 00:18:25,427 l got it! 323 00:18:27,039 --> 00:18:28,836 Wow! 324 00:18:28,907 --> 00:18:29,896 Cool! 325 00:18:29,975 --> 00:18:33,467 l have friends who'd pay good money to ride this. 326 00:18:33,545 --> 00:18:35,274 - Out. - Oh, man. 327 00:18:35,347 --> 00:18:38,578 Everybody gets to make money except for me. 328 00:18:40,219 --> 00:18:42,915 Look there, everything's all dry. 329 00:18:44,556 --> 00:18:48,219 Maybe this is just a sign that l'm not supposed to be working. 330 00:18:48,293 --> 00:18:51,228 - What do you mean by that? - Well, we're fighting about spatulas, 331 00:18:51,296 --> 00:18:53,890 you're riding the dryer... 332 00:18:54,900 --> 00:18:57,926 - l don't know that it's worth it. - But you wanna work. 333 00:18:58,003 --> 00:19:01,404 Yeah, l wanna work, Tim. But l also don't want the house to fall apart. 334 00:19:01,473 --> 00:19:03,236 l see. 335 00:19:03,308 --> 00:19:08,041 lt's always like that. l ride one appliance in the garage, 336 00:19:09,081 --> 00:19:12,414 and you get all bent out of shape. 337 00:19:12,484 --> 00:19:16,614 The house isn't gonna fall apart if you're not here and l'm here. 338 00:19:16,688 --> 00:19:19,987 And, don't take this wrong, but you don't have to work. 339 00:19:20,058 --> 00:19:22,754 l want to work. We got three kids we gotta get through college. 340 00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:26,855 - Or a good trade school. - l like working. 341 00:19:26,932 --> 00:19:31,369 You know, and l'm good at it. l think that l could move up. l might even be an editor. 342 00:19:31,436 --> 00:19:33,768 But the whole time that l'm working l worry about what's going on at the house. 343 00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:36,831 And when l'm at the house, l worry about work. l just wish there were two of me. 344 00:19:36,909 --> 00:19:39,503 Can l sleep in the middle? 345 00:19:40,412 --> 00:19:44,348 Morning, Jill. Hello there, Jill. Hey. 346 00:19:46,118 --> 00:19:50,782 Fine. lf you don't wanna talk about it, then l'm just gonna figure it out by myself. 347 00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:53,324 And that, my dear, is the problem. 348 00:19:53,392 --> 00:19:56,623 You wanna do everything by yourself. There are two people. 349 00:19:56,695 --> 00:19:58,219 The other person here is me. 350 00:19:58,297 --> 00:20:01,266 And you gotta learn how to let me do some of the stuff the way l wanna do it. 351 00:20:01,333 --> 00:20:05,463 Like giving the boys lunch money? Burning down the kitchen? 352 00:20:05,537 --> 00:20:09,200 - Riding the thing around the garage? - Hold on. Back the truck up. 353 00:20:09,274 --> 00:20:11,242 Some of the things went well today, you know. 354 00:20:11,310 --> 00:20:15,246 Tim, look around you. You practically wrecked the house. 355 00:20:15,314 --> 00:20:19,944 l'll have you know l wrecked this house long before you ever got a job. 356 00:20:20,018 --> 00:20:22,543 And l'll be wrecking this house long after you got a job. 357 00:20:22,621 --> 00:20:26,421 And the kids were dressed, they had their breakfast, they got to school, 358 00:20:26,491 --> 00:20:28,721 they had their lunch and they came home and they were safe. 359 00:20:28,794 --> 00:20:30,853 So maybe my way wasn't that dangerous after all, 360 00:20:30,929 --> 00:20:34,524 and some of the things did work, didn't they? 361 00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:38,062 - Well, that washing machine... - What about the washing machine? 362 00:20:38,136 --> 00:20:42,004 - That was pretty cool. - (grunts) You liked that, huh? 363 00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:45,134 - Yeah. - (makes monkey noises) 364 00:20:48,380 --> 00:20:51,315 So, if this is gonna work, 365 00:20:51,383 --> 00:20:54,147 then l'm gonna have to let go of some things. 366 00:20:54,219 --> 00:20:58,212 And make sure that the smoke detector is working. 367 00:20:59,758 --> 00:21:02,921 - We gotta put a battery in that thing. - l think so. 368 00:21:02,995 --> 00:21:07,728 And if you're gonna come home early, give me a phone call first. 369 00:21:07,799 --> 00:21:09,767 Yeah, right. 370 00:21:09,835 --> 00:21:13,134 All right, well, as long as we're both here together, why don't you help me clean up? 371 00:21:13,205 --> 00:21:18,643 Honey, l think this is the first time that l'm going to let go of something. 372 00:21:22,547 --> 00:21:23,741 Whoa! 373 00:21:23,815 --> 00:21:26,010 That icing is really bad. 374 00:21:26,084 --> 00:21:28,814 - That's 'cause it's not icing. - Huh? 375 00:21:28,887 --> 00:21:32,550 lt's polyvinyl acetate caulking compound. 376 00:21:34,393 --> 00:21:38,124 You just weatherproofed your tongue, honey. 377 00:21:43,535 --> 00:21:45,594 ( Tim) l'll sue! 378 00:21:47,172 --> 00:21:49,504 (makes engine sounds) 379 00:21:49,574 --> 00:21:52,407 No, no, no, no, no, no. We got a piece of artwork here. 380 00:21:52,477 --> 00:21:53,671 lt's crooked. 381 00:21:53,745 --> 00:21:55,804 l designed it this way. 382 00:21:55,881 --> 00:22:01,148 This is a gingerbread truck-and-auto service centre, after a major earthquake. 383 00:22:01,219 --> 00:22:03,983 Do you actually think anybody's gonna buy this? 384 00:22:04,056 --> 00:22:06,524 Yes, l actually think somebody's going to buy this. 385 00:22:06,591 --> 00:22:09,560 Tim, you can't charge $1 56. 386 00:22:09,628 --> 00:22:12,153 Why? That's what it cost. 387 00:22:12,664 --> 00:22:15,462 Boys, put on your coats and mittens and stuff. 388 00:22:15,534 --> 00:22:17,468 Mark, are you ready? 389 00:22:17,536 --> 00:22:20,130 Has anybody seen my good blue sweater? 390 00:22:20,205 --> 00:22:22,332 l did, it's in the... 391 00:22:22,407 --> 00:22:24,705 - What? - l don't know. 392 00:22:24,776 --> 00:22:27,404 - Brad? - Gee, l don't know. 393 00:22:27,479 --> 00:22:28,673 l'm ready. 394 00:22:28,747 --> 00:22:30,612 Mark, have you seen my good blue sweater? 395 00:22:30,682 --> 00:22:32,240 lt's in the dryer. 396 00:22:32,317 --> 00:22:34,410 Thanks, bigmouth. 397 00:22:35,287 --> 00:22:36,811 (Jill) Oh! 398 00:22:36,888 --> 00:22:39,220 Honey, are you OK? 399 00:22:42,594 --> 00:22:44,926 What is this? 400 00:22:49,868 --> 00:22:53,065 Boys, put on your coats and mittens and stuff. 401 00:22:53,138 --> 00:22:56,130 Randy? l mean... What is your name? 402 00:22:59,010 --> 00:23:00,978 lt's Randy, Mom. 403 00:23:01,780 --> 00:23:05,648 Well, you are a very special man, quite like Galileo. 404 00:23:05,717 --> 00:23:06,877 Yeah. 405 00:23:06,952 --> 00:23:09,819 l love his wine. 406 00:23:09,888 --> 00:23:11,185 No, no. No, Tim. No, no, no. 407 00:23:11,256 --> 00:23:15,454 No, l'm talking about the 1 7th century ltalian astronomer. 408 00:23:15,527 --> 00:23:17,427 He was... 409 00:23:17,496 --> 00:23:19,896 a very fat man.