1
00:00:04,604 --> 00:00:05,866
Are you OK?
2
00:00:05,939 --> 00:00:08,806
You got so much stuff crammed
in that closet, you're suffocating my shirts.
3
00:00:08,875 --> 00:00:10,342
Oh, please.
4
00:00:10,410 --> 00:00:14,141
Come on, buddy.
Don't die now. Don't die, don't die.
5
00:00:14,214 --> 00:00:16,045
Clear!
6
00:00:16,282 --> 00:00:17,408
Clear!
7
00:00:17,484 --> 00:00:18,576
There you go.
8
00:00:18,651 --> 00:00:22,178
You got so much to live for,
you're perma-press. Come on, buddy.
9
00:00:22,255 --> 00:00:25,122
Is it having an out-of-closet experience?
10
00:00:25,191 --> 00:00:29,218
You got too much stuff in here.
You got 30 hats in here.
11
00:00:29,295 --> 00:00:31,263
- I wear all of them.
- Oh, yeah?
12
00:00:31,331 --> 00:00:32,958
Yeah.
13
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:34,933
You wear this?
14
00:00:35,001 --> 00:00:37,196
I did in seventh grade
when I was Carmen Miranda.
15
00:00:37,270 --> 00:00:38,737
- And you still need it?
- Yes.
16
00:00:38,805 --> 00:00:41,330
Whenever I go to a new grocery store
I point to it and say:
17
00:00:41,408 --> 00:00:43,740
"What aisle are these in?"
18
00:00:44,778 --> 00:00:47,372
Belts, belts, belts.
19
00:00:47,447 --> 00:00:51,474
Stupid belts.
Do you need four red belts?
20
00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:53,712
Listen to you. These are not red.
21
00:00:53,787 --> 00:00:56,551
This is scarlet, crimson, ruby, vermilion.
22
00:00:56,623 --> 00:00:59,490
What I need is a red belt.
23
00:01:01,995 --> 00:01:03,963
I'm telling you,
if you don't throw some of this stuff out,
24
00:01:04,030 --> 00:01:07,761
I'm gonna organize this closet
and get one with more power.
25
00:01:07,834 --> 00:01:10,997
No. No.
26
00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:13,471
I can hear my power tools
calling right now.
27
00:01:13,540 --> 00:01:16,737
"Come on, Tim.
Plug us in, we're ready to serve."
28
00:01:16,810 --> 00:01:18,277
I don't hear anything.
29
00:01:18,344 --> 00:01:22,542
'Cause women can't hear
power tools talking. Be right down, guys.
30
00:01:22,615 --> 00:01:26,176
No. All right, all right, all right.
I'll clean the closet out.
31
00:01:26,252 --> 00:01:29,244
There's got to be
something in here you can get rid of.
32
00:01:29,322 --> 00:01:33,656
Yeah, but I stayed married to it
because of the kids.
33
00:02:44,330 --> 00:02:46,321
(Jill) Well, what do you think?
Could we put the kids in the middle?
34
00:02:51,037 --> 00:02:54,700
Thank you very much.
And welcome once again to Tool Time
35
00:02:54,774 --> 00:02:56,901
I am, of course, your host,
Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor.
36
00:02:56,976 --> 00:03:02,073
You all know my assistant,
Al "add a G, you got 'Gal"' Borland.
37
00:03:03,082 --> 00:03:04,549
Tim, we got lots of letters from viewers,
38
00:03:04,617 --> 00:03:07,279
saying they're very tired
of you making fun of my name.
39
00:03:07,353 --> 00:03:10,686
Tell your mom to stop writing.
40
00:03:11,124 --> 00:03:14,855
I got a question for you.
How many belts do you own?
41
00:03:14,928 --> 00:03:16,657
- Two.
- That's right.
42
00:03:16,729 --> 00:03:19,459
Because men are practical.
We only need two belts.
43
00:03:19,532 --> 00:03:23,434
One to hold our trousers up, and another
heavy tool belt to drag 'em back down.
44
00:03:23,503 --> 00:03:25,494
Right, Al?
45
00:03:26,773 --> 00:03:29,207
Unlike my wife, who's got 47 belts.
46
00:03:29,275 --> 00:03:34,542
She says six are red, even though
she calls 'em scarlet and vermin.
47
00:03:34,614 --> 00:03:36,775
I believe he means vermilion.
48
00:03:36,849 --> 00:03:38,783
No, he means vermin.
49
00:03:38,851 --> 00:03:41,911
One is actually made out of rat hair.
50
00:03:43,022 --> 00:03:46,514
All this week,
Al and I'll be doing our salute...
51
00:03:46,593 --> 00:03:49,426
(tools crash to the ground)
52
00:03:49,495 --> 00:03:51,554
...to toolboxes.
53
00:03:52,432 --> 00:03:57,028
You know, a well-organized toolbox
says a lot about you as a man.
54
00:04:01,107 --> 00:04:03,735
What is it, Al?
55
00:04:03,810 --> 00:04:06,370
- Nothing, Tim.
- What is it, Al?
56
00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:08,440
Well, I...
57
00:04:08,514 --> 00:04:11,210
I was just noticing
how much bigger mine is.
58
00:04:11,284 --> 00:04:13,650
Ooh!
59
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:15,346
You have to have a bigger toolbox
60
00:04:15,421 --> 00:04:19,482
to compensate
for your teensy-weensy paycheck.
61
00:04:20,493 --> 00:04:24,293
No, Tim. I need a bigger toolbox
because I'm your assistant.
62
00:04:24,364 --> 00:04:27,026
And I need to be ready
for any of your particular needs.
63
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:29,898
(grunts) Oh, yeah, you do.
Oh-oh-oh.
64
00:04:29,969 --> 00:04:31,630
You're really
shaping up around here, Al.
65
00:04:31,704 --> 00:04:36,732
Well, I have plenty of room in here
for bandages, couple of ice packs.
66
00:04:36,809 --> 00:04:39,107
- Stop it, Al. Cut it out.
- Oh, a tourniquet.
67
00:04:39,178 --> 00:04:41,544
I hope you have
a job application in there, buddy.
68
00:04:41,614 --> 00:04:44,276
- Crutches.
- Huh?
69
00:04:44,350 --> 00:04:46,841
IV unit.
70
00:04:46,919 --> 00:04:48,477
(frog croaks)
71
00:04:49,789 --> 00:04:51,381
Mom and Dad are gonna bust me.
72
00:04:51,457 --> 00:04:54,392
You should've thought of that
before you slugged Mickey Walker.
73
00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:56,394
He totally asked for it.
74
00:04:56,462 --> 00:05:02,332
You mean he said, "Brad, my nose
is too pointy. Can you flatten it for me?"
75
00:05:02,402 --> 00:05:05,394
I'd give anything
not to let Mom and Dad see this note.
76
00:05:05,471 --> 00:05:08,440
Would you give
your Barry Sanders autographed football?
77
00:05:08,508 --> 00:05:09,839
Forget it.
78
00:05:09,909 --> 00:05:11,399
I have a plan.
79
00:05:11,477 --> 00:05:14,071
Yeah? What plan?
80
00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:15,910
Do I get the ball?
81
00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:17,244
No.
82
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:19,717
But I won't beat you up if you help me.
83
00:05:19,786 --> 00:05:21,845
Works for me.
84
00:05:23,489 --> 00:05:26,652
Now, you won't get into any trouble...
85
00:05:26,726 --> 00:05:29,627
if Mom and Dad think they're signing...
86
00:05:29,696 --> 00:05:33,632
a field-trip release form.
87
00:05:35,435 --> 00:05:36,834
How do we do it?
88
00:05:36,903 --> 00:05:41,567
Well, it's easy. You take the release form,
put it on top of the note, and tape it.
89
00:05:41,641 --> 00:05:43,006
Cool.
90
00:05:43,076 --> 00:05:45,874
- Hi, boys. How was school?
- (Randy) Great.
91
00:05:45,945 --> 00:05:47,810
Nothing happened.
92
00:05:51,951 --> 00:05:53,441
Tim,
93
00:05:53,519 --> 00:05:55,180
what are you doing?
94
00:05:55,254 --> 00:05:57,722
I was gonna reorganize the closet.
95
00:05:57,790 --> 00:06:00,759
No. With a sledgehammer?
I don't think so.
96
00:06:00,827 --> 00:06:02,385
Come on, come on.
Give it back to me. Let go of this.
97
00:06:02,462 --> 00:06:04,225
No.
98
00:06:04,297 --> 00:06:06,231
Before you organize,
you gotta demolish.
99
00:06:06,299 --> 00:06:09,393
After you demolish,
you must call someone to fix it.
100
00:06:09,469 --> 00:06:11,403
I know what I'm doing here.
101
00:06:11,471 --> 00:06:15,032
I'm gonna remodel it to maximize
every square inch of that thing.
102
00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:17,872
Look what I ordered for you
at the Furniture Barn today.
103
00:06:17,944 --> 00:06:20,845
What did you order for me
at the Furniture Barn today?
104
00:06:20,913 --> 00:06:22,710
(whistles)
105
00:06:22,782 --> 00:06:26,513
A Super Goliath modular closet system.
106
00:06:26,586 --> 00:06:28,884
Ho-ho-ho.
107
00:06:28,955 --> 00:06:31,890
Chrome shelves,
tubular steel rods at top and bottom.
108
00:06:31,958 --> 00:06:34,358
All the rivets are hidden, you can't
even see... Matte-black finish everywhere.
109
00:06:34,427 --> 00:06:36,691
It's got seven drawers
in the middle of it.
110
00:06:36,763 --> 00:06:39,823
Tim, I just need someplace
to hang my blouses.
111
00:06:39,899 --> 00:06:41,890
This looks like an offshore oil rig.
112
00:06:41,968 --> 00:06:47,304
Oh, yeah. Just like the North Sea,
where the men smell like fish.
113
00:06:50,143 --> 00:06:54,045
lf, by some slim chance,
we did redo the closet,
114
00:06:54,113 --> 00:06:57,480
this is the one that I would like.
115
00:06:58,551 --> 00:07:00,781
The Lady Lavender
quilted-vinyl organizer?
116
00:07:00,853 --> 00:07:02,411
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Come on.
117
00:07:02,488 --> 00:07:05,389
Look, it comes
with ten padded scented hangers.
118
00:07:05,458 --> 00:07:06,447
Scented hangers?
119
00:07:06,526 --> 00:07:11,486
I do not want the closet smelling like
Madame Foufou's Perfume Parlor.
120
00:07:11,564 --> 00:07:16,831
I want it smelling like sawdust...
motor oil... the bottom of men's feet.
121
00:07:16,903 --> 00:07:19,565
- Gotta go.
- No! Wait! Wait!
122
00:07:19,639 --> 00:07:22,802
Wait! Every time you take a sledgehammer
up to the bedroom it means trouble.
123
00:07:22,875 --> 00:07:24,672
You come back here, you little termite.
124
00:07:24,744 --> 00:07:25,836
- Let go of my belt.
- I'm not gonna let go...
125
00:07:25,912 --> 00:07:28,107
I can't ask them now, they're arguing.
126
00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:31,878
Are you kidding? This is the perfect time.
They won't even notice.
127
00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:35,387
How do you think
I got that raise on my allowance?
128
00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:36,854
You are not gonna touch this closet.
129
00:07:36,923 --> 00:07:38,914
Just don't get excited.
Listen to me, please. For a minute.
130
00:07:38,991 --> 00:07:40,959
All right. There's a lot of wasted space
behind this closet.
131
00:07:41,027 --> 00:07:43,723
I say we blow out the wall,
take the linen closet wall out,
132
00:07:43,796 --> 00:07:46,230
put all the linens in the bathroom,
you got more room in there anyway,
133
00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:50,360
put a few wires, lights...
Boom. We've got a walk-in closet.
134
00:07:50,436 --> 00:07:55,066
No, we don't have a linen closet and
we have a hole in the side of the house.
135
00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:56,699
I gave you a chance
to get rid of some stuff.
136
00:07:56,776 --> 00:07:59,210
- Now it is time to swing some steel.
- Hey!
137
00:07:59,278 --> 00:08:01,610
I got rid of some stuff.
I packed a whole box over there.
138
00:08:01,681 --> 00:08:03,740
Oh, really?
The whole box right over here?
139
00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:06,410
- You don't have to look.
- This whole box?
140
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:09,114
Hello! Hello! Hello!
141
00:08:09,188 --> 00:08:11,247
Look, some stretch pants and a shoe.
142
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:13,588
- Nice try.
- I'm doing this in stages.
143
00:08:13,659 --> 00:08:17,493
Besides, I know the minute that I throw
away this shoe I'm gonna find its mate.
144
00:08:17,563 --> 00:08:21,465
I think I saw it
on the freeway this morning.
145
00:08:21,534 --> 00:08:24,298
- You're a pack rat, honey.
- I am not.
146
00:08:24,370 --> 00:08:29,603
My mother always said, "Waste not, want
not." Good clothes never go out of style.
147
00:08:29,675 --> 00:08:33,475
I'm pretty sure
she wasn't referring to this!
148
00:08:36,916 --> 00:08:39,214
That's from my fat collection.
149
00:08:39,285 --> 00:08:41,981
You could fit Europe in these things.
150
00:08:42,989 --> 00:08:45,480
See, I have divided the clothes
into three sections.
151
00:08:45,558 --> 00:08:49,824
I have my normal-weight section over
there, then I have my fat section over here.
152
00:08:49,896 --> 00:08:52,057
This is for, you know, after childbirth
153
00:08:52,131 --> 00:08:53,621
- and holidays, and...
- And this? What's this?
154
00:08:53,699 --> 00:08:56,099
The "I have a dream" section?
155
00:08:59,338 --> 00:09:01,932
I will wear that dress again.
156
00:09:02,008 --> 00:09:03,999
No offense, honey,
but you're not gonna get into that again.
157
00:09:04,076 --> 00:09:05,907
- Excuse me.
- Don't, don't, don't, don't...
158
00:09:05,978 --> 00:09:08,446
Are you asking for some trouble here?
159
00:09:08,514 --> 00:09:10,038
- You are.
- Stop it.
160
00:09:10,116 --> 00:09:12,311
- Hey, Dad. Will you sign this for me?
- Hold her hands.
161
00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:15,445
- (Jill) Oh, you have to have help here?
- (Tim) Yes, help me.
162
00:09:15,521 --> 00:09:18,422
- Wait, don't sign that. Don't sign it.
- Why? It's a... it's a field-trip release form.
163
00:09:18,491 --> 00:09:21,460
No, no. They just wait for us
not to be paying attention.
164
00:09:21,527 --> 00:09:24,655
I think I'm smart enough to know
165
00:09:24,730 --> 00:09:27,096
when they're pulling that
"distract 'em and have 'em sign stuff" trick.
166
00:09:27,166 --> 00:09:28,895
What is this tape
down here on this thing?
167
00:09:28,968 --> 00:09:31,562
- 'Cause it ripped.
- It ripped.
168
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:34,805
This is a letter from
Mrs. Blackburn, the principal.
169
00:09:34,874 --> 00:09:37,809
Aha! Just as I suspected.
170
00:09:39,879 --> 00:09:44,782
Brad, I'm ashamed.
Trying to trick our parents like that.
171
00:09:45,718 --> 00:09:47,913
I suppose
you had nothing to do with this?
172
00:09:47,987 --> 00:09:50,251
Of course not, Father.
173
00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:53,623
Randy, we'll deal with you in a minute.
You get outta here.
174
00:09:53,693 --> 00:09:55,160
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Brad, Brad...
- Brad, sit down.
175
00:09:55,227 --> 00:09:58,856
- Come on. Come on, come on. Sit down.
- Sit down.
176
00:09:58,931 --> 00:10:02,492
"Dear Mr. and Mrs. Taylor, your son
punched Mickey Walker in the hallway."
177
00:10:02,568 --> 00:10:04,399
"I reprimanded Brad, and informed him
178
00:10:04,470 --> 00:10:08,270
that another incident
would result in suspension."
179
00:10:08,341 --> 00:10:11,276
Brad, what is going on in your head?
180
00:10:17,149 --> 00:10:21,245
Looks to me
like the hamster fell off the wheel.
181
00:10:22,488 --> 00:10:25,480
How many times
have we told you not to fight? How many?
182
00:10:25,558 --> 00:10:28,527
- I lost count.
- Don't get smart with me.
183
00:10:28,594 --> 00:10:30,391
You're grounded, three days.
You know that.
184
00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:32,988
- That's not fair.
- Why did you hit this boy?
185
00:10:33,065 --> 00:10:37,001
- Because he was making fun of me.
- That's not a reason to punch anybody.
186
00:10:37,069 --> 00:10:39,560
Why are you angry at me?
It's your fault.
187
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:43,040
Beep-beep. Back the truck up.
188
00:10:43,109 --> 00:10:44,508
Why is it my fault?
189
00:10:44,577 --> 00:10:46,204
This morning
when you dropped me off at school,
190
00:10:46,278 --> 00:10:49,042
you hugged me
in front of all my friends.
191
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:53,452
Wait... That is no reason
to hit this Mickey Walker guy.
192
00:10:53,519 --> 00:10:57,011
Yeah, well, Mickey Walker saw
and started calling me "Diaper Baby."
193
00:10:57,089 --> 00:11:01,025
I don't care what he called you.
You're gonna call him and apologize.
194
00:11:01,093 --> 00:11:03,027
Besides, so what?
I didn't give you a real big hug.
195
00:11:03,095 --> 00:11:05,290
I just squeezed your shoulder
a little bit, like that.
196
00:11:05,364 --> 00:11:07,298
What's the matter with you?
197
00:11:07,366 --> 00:11:10,199
Just... please don't hug me again.
198
00:11:11,971 --> 00:11:14,371
Good thing I didn't kiss him.
199
00:11:18,711 --> 00:11:20,008
Brad, tag me.
200
00:11:20,079 --> 00:11:23,242
This is no fair.
I don't have anyone to tag.
201
00:11:23,315 --> 00:11:25,749
That's the idea, brainiac.
202
00:11:25,818 --> 00:11:29,049
- Dad, help! Please, please.
- Tag me, Bone Crusher. There you go.
203
00:11:29,121 --> 00:11:31,988
Now it's time for the evil Chiropractor.
204
00:11:32,058 --> 00:11:36,051
- Hey, no fair! You're too old.
- Oh, low blow, pretzel boy.
205
00:11:36,128 --> 00:11:37,789
Brad! Tag me!
206
00:11:37,863 --> 00:11:39,490
Oh, double-team him, huh?
207
00:11:39,565 --> 00:11:41,430
Now it's time for my ultimate move.
208
00:11:41,500 --> 00:11:44,560
- The Bookends of Death.
- Aaargh!
209
00:11:44,637 --> 00:11:47,731
Ah! Wah! Huh!
210
00:11:48,507 --> 00:11:51,670
Can't get loose, can you? Uh-oh, Brad.
I think we're hugging each other now.
211
00:11:51,744 --> 00:11:54,474
Dad, why do you have to be
such a dork?
212
00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:57,675
I was kidding around.
Come back here.
213
00:11:59,585 --> 00:12:02,554
All right, Dad. Give me five.
214
00:12:02,621 --> 00:12:06,990
Oh, man. That's the last time
I team up with Brad, the Diaper Baby.
215
00:12:07,059 --> 00:12:09,493
Don't call him that, all right?
216
00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:11,655
Come on, Mark.
Let's go make fun of him.
217
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:15,394
I got a better idea.
Why don't you make fun of each other?
218
00:12:15,468 --> 00:12:17,698
- Booger brain.
- Weenie.
219
00:12:17,770 --> 00:12:19,965
That's more like it.
220
00:12:20,039 --> 00:12:22,269
(door opens and man hums)
221
00:12:22,341 --> 00:12:26,505
- (Wilson) Hi ho, neighbor.
- Hey, Wilson. What are you up to?
222
00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:29,207
I'm tending my tulips, Tim.
223
00:12:29,281 --> 00:12:32,341
- Little late in the year for that, isn't it?
- Well, I'm forcing them.
224
00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:35,387
How? By squeezing their bulbs?
225
00:12:36,255 --> 00:12:38,587
No, no, no, no, Tim.
226
00:12:38,657 --> 00:12:41,785
Forcing flower bulbs
is making them bloom out of season
227
00:12:41,861 --> 00:12:43,988
by growing them indoors in pots.
228
00:12:45,197 --> 00:12:46,630
You know, Wilson...
229
00:12:46,699 --> 00:12:49,190
Brad's going through this thing where
he doesn't want me to hug him anymore.
230
00:12:49,268 --> 00:12:51,600
(Wilson) Mm-hm,
mm-hm, mm-hm, mm-hm.
231
00:12:51,670 --> 00:12:54,161
He's finally reached that age.
232
00:12:55,007 --> 00:12:56,872
It's a funny thing, you know.
He doesn't want me to touch him,
233
00:12:56,942 --> 00:12:59,035
but he'll still wrestle
and roughhouse with me.
234
00:12:59,111 --> 00:13:01,579
Well, that's because throughout history
men have been more comfortable
235
00:13:01,647 --> 00:13:04,480
expressing affection
through combative gestures.
236
00:13:04,550 --> 00:13:06,916
Such as the salute.
237
00:13:06,986 --> 00:13:09,216
- The salute?
- Oh, yes, Tim.
238
00:13:09,288 --> 00:13:12,223
In the Middle Ages, when knights on
horseback would pass by each other,
239
00:13:12,291 --> 00:13:15,522
they would raise the visors of their helmets
to expose their face,
240
00:13:15,594 --> 00:13:18,654
and show each other
that they were friends. And that became...
241
00:13:18,731 --> 00:13:21,529
- A salute.
- A sign of friendship and respect.
242
00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:23,830
In the same vein, the handshake evolved
243
00:13:23,903 --> 00:13:29,671
when men would extend their weapon
hand to show that they were unarmed.
244
00:13:31,911 --> 00:13:34,311
Or to show they didn't have
a little joke buzzer in there.
245
00:13:34,380 --> 00:13:36,075
There you go, neighbor.
246
00:13:36,148 --> 00:13:42,018
Men's gestures of friendship, and respect,
grow out of competition and combat.
247
00:13:42,087 --> 00:13:44,715
Kinda like when football players,
you know, slap each other on the rear end.
248
00:13:44,790 --> 00:13:47,520
Exactly! You see, Tim,
each man should show affection
249
00:13:47,593 --> 00:13:49,993
in the way that
he feels most comfortable.
250
00:13:50,062 --> 00:13:51,120
Mm.
251
00:13:51,197 --> 00:13:53,961
A nicely-rolled wet towel. Ow!
252
00:13:54,033 --> 00:13:56,058
Well, I myself prefer a warm hug,
253
00:13:56,135 --> 00:14:01,539
but I suppose the slashing sting
of wet terry cloth has its place.
254
00:14:01,607 --> 00:14:03,097
Sure did in my high school.
255
00:14:03,175 --> 00:14:08,169
Of course, only a man who is truly secure
can feel free enough to hug another man.
256
00:14:08,247 --> 00:14:11,011
Yeah, secure enough. Oh, yeah!
257
00:14:13,018 --> 00:14:15,043
To help out our demonstration today,
258
00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:17,645
we've invited the boys
from Bay City back again. That's right.
259
00:14:17,723 --> 00:14:19,554
The guys
from K&B Construction Company.
260
00:14:19,625 --> 00:14:25,154
I want a big round of applause
for Pete, Dwayne and Rock. Let's go!
261
00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:30,229
It's always great
to have these guys with us.
262
00:14:30,302 --> 00:14:33,135
Always great to be here, Timmy.
263
00:14:33,205 --> 00:14:35,036
Well, a little stucco demonstration.
264
00:14:35,107 --> 00:14:37,041
We're gonna put some mud on the wall,
we'll get stuccoing, right?
265
00:14:37,109 --> 00:14:38,667
You betcha.
We used to do this all the time.
266
00:14:38,744 --> 00:14:42,373
- All right.
- Heck, I cut my teeth on stucco, Tim.
267
00:14:42,448 --> 00:14:45,474
Well, learned everything
from Dwayne here.
268
00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:48,111
Oh, no, no.
Pete here is the real expert.
269
00:14:48,187 --> 00:14:51,486
We call him "The Stucco Bucko."
270
00:14:51,557 --> 00:14:53,218
- You dog, you.
- Watch out, boy.
271
00:14:53,292 --> 00:14:54,520
Guys, guys, guys.
272
00:14:54,593 --> 00:14:57,426
I don't know whether you're aware of this,
but that's a combative gesture.
273
00:14:57,496 --> 00:14:59,487
Oh, I was just horsing around
with my little buddy here.
274
00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:02,295
No, no, no, no, no.
It's a good thing. The knights used to do it.
275
00:15:02,368 --> 00:15:07,829
The Middle-Age guys used to extend
their hands to show they had no arms.
276
00:15:09,708 --> 00:15:11,300
Anybody follow that?
277
00:15:11,377 --> 00:15:14,540
I'm saying that's the way
you show appreciation of one another.
278
00:15:14,613 --> 00:15:15,875
- Uh, Tim?
- Hm?
279
00:15:15,948 --> 00:15:17,939
(coughs)
280
00:15:19,151 --> 00:15:21,278
What does this have to do with stucco?
281
00:15:21,353 --> 00:15:24,686
Nothing. But Tool Time's
more than just home improvement.
282
00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:26,622
It's also about male improvement.
283
00:15:26,692 --> 00:15:29,957
I think it's time we took a little time out
to talk about male appreciation.
284
00:15:30,029 --> 00:15:32,327
- Like hugging.
- Oh, bubba.
285
00:15:33,866 --> 00:15:36,801
But, Tim, when you asked us
to be on this show,
286
00:15:36,869 --> 00:15:40,236
you didn't say nothin' about no huggin'.
287
00:15:40,306 --> 00:15:43,241
Well, it's OK for another man
to hug another man, isn't it?
288
00:15:43,309 --> 00:15:45,368
(all) No.
289
00:15:46,312 --> 00:15:48,712
I don't even hug my wife.
290
00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:53,711
That's 'cause you can't
get your arms around her.
291
00:15:54,687 --> 00:15:57,554
Tim, does the word "stucco"
mean anything to you?
292
00:15:57,623 --> 00:16:00,091
Al, Al. Hold on a minute.
Well, then, help me out, guys.
293
00:16:00,159 --> 00:16:02,719
How does one man show another man
he just appreciates what he does?
294
00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:05,491
- Well, you buy him a couple Lions tickets.
- Hey, all right.
295
00:16:05,564 --> 00:16:07,156
- Or let him borrow your truck.
- Good one.
296
00:16:07,232 --> 00:16:11,032
- You could pour beer over his head.
- Yeah, yeah!
297
00:16:11,103 --> 00:16:13,196
And I did not appreciate that.
298
00:16:13,272 --> 00:16:16,730
The point is, there's many ways
to show another man you appreciate him.
299
00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:20,870
And I think, if you're secure enough, you
can give another man a manly squeeze.
300
00:16:20,946 --> 00:16:23,847
Al, how about a hug?
301
00:16:25,284 --> 00:16:27,445
I don't think so, Tim.
302
00:16:28,387 --> 00:16:30,446
Come on. Anybody?
303
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:34,892
What? I'm the only secure man here?
304
00:16:35,627 --> 00:16:37,754
Guess so.
305
00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:40,298
Aw, heck. I'm secure.
306
00:16:40,366 --> 00:16:43,893
- I appreciate you, Timmy.
- I appreciate you, Rock.
307
00:16:43,969 --> 00:16:45,960
Hey, all right.
308
00:16:47,039 --> 00:16:50,531
Hey, you know, that wasn't so bad.
309
00:16:50,609 --> 00:16:52,406
Yeah, we're secure, buddy.
310
00:16:52,478 --> 00:16:54,878
Oh, yeah, are we ever secure.
311
00:16:56,081 --> 00:17:00,984
You know, Tim, in Europe
men kiss each other on both cheeks.
312
00:17:03,655 --> 00:17:06,385
Hey, bucko. How was school today?
313
00:17:07,192 --> 00:17:09,922
Anything your principal
wants me to autograph?
314
00:17:09,995 --> 00:17:11,519
No.
315
00:17:14,133 --> 00:17:17,625
I was thinking about you at work today.
316
00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:22,902
And I think I understand about
how you feel about this hugging thing.
317
00:17:22,975 --> 00:17:24,966
So, I'm not grounded?
318
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:27,444
Nice try.
319
00:17:27,513 --> 00:17:29,606
No, I just think that
maybe sometimes hugging's inappropriate,
320
00:17:29,681 --> 00:17:31,740
and maybe I shouldn't have done it
in front of your friends.
321
00:17:31,817 --> 00:17:33,751
But that's no reason to hit anybody.
322
00:17:33,819 --> 00:17:36,788
Dad, what do you expect me to do
when people are making fun of me?
323
00:17:36,855 --> 00:17:40,086
I expect you to use your head. Laugh.
324
00:17:40,159 --> 00:17:43,458
- What?
- When people used to tease me, I'd laugh.
325
00:17:43,529 --> 00:17:47,021
People can't laugh at you
if you're already laughing at yourself.
326
00:17:47,099 --> 00:17:48,088
You know what I'm saying?
327
00:17:48,167 --> 00:17:53,070
You want me to use
other parts of my brain besides my fists?
328
00:17:54,606 --> 00:17:56,904
Yeah.
329
00:17:56,975 --> 00:17:59,466
And I know
you're having trouble hugging a man.
330
00:17:59,545 --> 00:18:03,276
But remember, I'm your father.
I'm not a man.
331
00:18:05,284 --> 00:18:06,273
Right, Dad.
332
00:18:06,351 --> 00:18:08,842
Anyway, I promise I won't hug you
in front of your buddies anymore.
333
00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:11,185
- OK.
- But I'm still gonna say I love you.
334
00:18:11,256 --> 00:18:14,225
Oh, Dad, that's ten times worse
than hugging.
335
00:18:14,293 --> 00:18:15,885
Wait a minute, hold on a minute.
336
00:18:15,961 --> 00:18:18,486
It's not like that. It's like, we'll be at
a ball game. Pretend we're at a ball game.
337
00:18:18,564 --> 00:18:22,432
Instead of saying, "I love you," I'll say
something like, "How 'bout the Lions?"
338
00:18:22,501 --> 00:18:24,969
We'll both know what I'm talking about.
339
00:18:25,037 --> 00:18:26,664
OK. But don't say it too mushy.
340
00:18:26,738 --> 00:18:30,469
You mean like
(seductively) "How 'bout those Lions?"
341
00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:35,811
(Jill) Tim!
342
00:18:35,881 --> 00:18:37,075
Would you go upstairs
and shut the closet door?
343
00:18:37,149 --> 00:18:40,676
I don't wanna show her this
till I can demonstrate.
344
00:18:40,752 --> 00:18:42,344
There's some more groceries out there.
345
00:18:42,421 --> 00:18:45,356
Forget the groceries.
I wanna go up to the bedroom.
346
00:18:45,424 --> 00:18:50,361
There's something up there
you've been waiting for for a long time.
347
00:18:50,429 --> 00:18:51,453
Oh, OK.
348
00:18:51,530 --> 00:18:55,523
I guess I'll be back down
before the ice cream melts.
349
00:18:58,704 --> 00:19:03,073
- Not that I finished the closet.
- Oh, good. Let's go see.
350
00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:04,200
- Hi, Mom.
- Hi, sweetie.
351
00:19:04,276 --> 00:19:09,509
- Dad, it's all ready. I'm going to the park.
- Before you go, how about those Lions?
352
00:19:10,916 --> 00:19:12,850
What about 'em?
353
00:19:12,918 --> 00:19:17,150
I said, how about the Lions?
354
00:19:18,423 --> 00:19:19,549
Oh, yeah.
355
00:19:19,625 --> 00:19:22,560
I love you too. Bye.
356
00:19:24,463 --> 00:19:26,522
It's a guy thing.
357
00:19:29,501 --> 00:19:32,902
Welcome to the Tim Taylor
clothing-management system.
358
00:19:32,971 --> 00:19:36,168
It's unique, it's high-tech, it's the answer
to your disorganized prayers.
359
00:19:36,241 --> 00:19:39,438
Don't, don't, don't, don't,
don't, don't, don't, don't.
360
00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:41,672
- I have to use a remote?
- Trust me.
361
00:19:41,747 --> 00:19:44,011
Press "one."
362
00:19:44,082 --> 00:19:46,573
(swirl of harp music)
363
00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:49,717
(Tim's computerized voice)
Hello. Jill Taylor
364
00:19:49,788 --> 00:19:53,849
- What shall we wear today?
- (Jill laughs)
365
00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:58,327
Hold on a minute. Does this mean
I'm gonna have, like, a little man in here
366
00:19:58,397 --> 00:19:59,887
watching me get undressed every day?
367
00:19:59,965 --> 00:20:01,796
Yep.
368
00:20:01,867 --> 00:20:05,268
If you'll notice, the closet's
all cedar lined for all our big clothes.
369
00:20:05,337 --> 00:20:08,397
Trousers, jackets, scarves,
upper clothes, there's shirts,
370
00:20:08,473 --> 00:20:11,340
skirts at the bottom, pants,
everything else, OK?
371
00:20:11,410 --> 00:20:13,002
This is perfect, so far.
372
00:20:13,078 --> 00:20:16,241
All right. You'll notice all your stuff is pink.
I got all your accessories outlined here.
373
00:20:16,315 --> 00:20:18,647
I've even got a drawer for your scarves.
Open that.
374
00:20:18,717 --> 00:20:21,015
Oh, OK.
375
00:20:21,086 --> 00:20:23,714
- Whoa!
- Wait a minute.
376
00:20:23,789 --> 00:20:27,281
Could that be potpourri-scented lining?
377
00:20:28,293 --> 00:20:31,160
- I'm still waiting for the explosion.
- Come on.
378
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:32,925
I'd suggest you shut that drawer.
379
00:20:32,998 --> 00:20:38,265
(Tim) The drawer is ajar
The drawer is ajar The drawer is a
380
00:20:41,373 --> 00:20:43,364
Thank you
381
00:20:45,410 --> 00:20:46,900
You're welcome.
382
00:20:46,979 --> 00:20:48,913
OK, now, on to the shoes.
383
00:20:48,981 --> 00:20:52,007
- Press number five.
- All right.
384
00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:56,077
("March" from Tchaikovsky's
Nutcracker Suite)
385
00:21:06,732 --> 00:21:09,929
Tim, I want you now.
386
00:21:11,603 --> 00:21:14,128
Hold your horses, little filly.
387
00:21:14,206 --> 00:21:16,470
Now the safety precautions.
This is very important.
388
00:21:16,541 --> 00:21:20,102
You'll notice I've done
the whole theme in pink for you,
389
00:21:20,178 --> 00:21:22,840
and a lovely matte black for me.
390
00:21:22,914 --> 00:21:27,749
This is very important. Don't ever try to put
your pink things in my matte-black zones.
391
00:21:27,819 --> 00:21:28,786
Why not?
392
00:21:28,854 --> 00:21:31,414
Try to put this pink hanger
onto my matte-black zone.
393
00:21:31,490 --> 00:21:33,082
OK.
394
00:21:33,158 --> 00:21:34,318
(siren wails)
395
00:21:34,393 --> 00:21:36,293
(Tim's voice) Step away from the closet
396
00:21:36,361 --> 00:21:39,762
Keep your hands in plain sight
You have the right to remain silent
397
00:21:39,831 --> 00:21:44,962
Any clothes you touch
will be used against you in a court of law
398
00:21:50,642 --> 00:21:52,803
Flashback!
399
00:21:56,081 --> 00:21:59,517
I found these
at the bottom of the giveaway box.
400
00:22:00,952 --> 00:22:04,786
You look like
a radioactive leprechaun, honey.
401
00:22:04,856 --> 00:22:07,586
I can't believe
that you were gonna give this away.
402
00:22:07,659 --> 00:22:10,457
That is the most hideous thing
I've ever seen in my life.
403
00:22:10,529 --> 00:22:13,589
- Why do you wanna keep that?
- You gave it to me.
404
00:22:13,665 --> 00:22:16,657
Oh, yeah, sure.
I guess I did, yeah.
405
00:22:17,169 --> 00:22:19,637
It could come back.
406
00:22:19,705 --> 00:22:21,730
Pretty boss-looking chick.
407
00:22:21,807 --> 00:22:24,241
Well, thank you.
408
00:22:24,309 --> 00:22:28,211
That is, like,
so far out that you say that.
409
00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:30,680
You wanna groove with me?
410
00:22:38,023 --> 00:22:39,923
(Tim) Step away from the closet
411
00:22:39,991 --> 00:22:43,392
Keep your hands in plain sight
You have the right to remain silent
412
00:22:43,462 --> 00:22:47,398
Any clothes you touch
will be used against you in a
413
00:22:47,799 --> 00:22:49,767
- Pretty boss chick.
- Yeah. Thank you.
414
00:22:49,835 --> 00:22:53,327
That's, like,
really far out that you say that.
415
00:22:53,405 --> 00:22:55,771
Hey, groove with me, baby.
416
00:23:01,947 --> 00:23:03,812
(siren wails)
417
00:23:03,882 --> 00:23:05,645
(Tim) Step away from the closet
418
00:23:05,717 --> 00:23:09,118
Keep your hands in plain sight
You have the right to remain silent
419
00:23:09,187 --> 00:23:14,716
Any clothes you touch
will be used against you in a court of law
420
00:23:23,735 --> 00:23:25,999
(Tim) It was their idea