1 00:00:01,167 --> 00:00:05,763 - Quit nagging me about my driving. - I do not nag. You drive like a maniac. 2 00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:10,071 You do too nag. And it's not "maniac," it's pronounced "man-iac." 3 00:00:10,143 --> 00:00:14,546 - You were going 35 miles an hour. - Whoa! 4 00:00:14,614 --> 00:00:16,741 Since when is 35 going fast? 5 00:00:16,816 --> 00:00:18,943 Over speed bumps. 6 00:00:20,220 --> 00:00:23,121 Let me ask you a question. Did your head hit the roof? 7 00:00:23,189 --> 00:00:26,556 - No. - Then I could have gone faster. 8 00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:28,790 Mark, would you please go and get all that stuff 9 00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:31,763 that flew all over the back of the station wagon? 10 00:00:31,831 --> 00:00:32,991 OK, Mom. 11 00:00:33,066 --> 00:00:36,593 Yeah. Well, that's the last time you drive. I swear, when we went over that bump, 12 00:00:36,669 --> 00:00:38,830 I heard something crack. 13 00:00:38,905 --> 00:00:41,100 That was just the sound of the car enjoying itself. 14 00:00:41,174 --> 00:00:45,975 No, that was the sound of you enjoying racing that guy to the parking-lot exit. 15 00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:48,480 You always turn driving into a competition. 16 00:00:48,548 --> 00:00:51,142 - I do not. - Yes, you do. Yes, you do. 17 00:00:51,217 --> 00:00:53,811 Remember the other day, that 17-year-old pulled up in that Camaro, 18 00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:56,685 and you got that stupid look on your face? 19 00:00:56,756 --> 00:00:59,224 Which stupid look? 20 00:00:59,659 --> 00:01:02,753 One of your stupider ones. You know, that one where you curl your lip up like this 21 00:01:02,829 --> 00:01:05,957 and you got, like, that cocky head-roll thing. 22 00:01:06,032 --> 00:01:10,628 That's my Elvis. You can't beat the king, man. You can't beat the king. 23 00:01:10,703 --> 00:01:12,637 Well, my little hound dog, you drive your car the way you want. 24 00:01:12,705 --> 00:01:14,468 Don't ruin my beautiful station wagon. 25 00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:16,967 - "My station wagon"? - Yes. 26 00:01:17,043 --> 00:01:21,241 That's where we're different. I think of everything around this house as ours 27 00:01:21,314 --> 00:01:24,181 - Well, what about the tools? - They're ours. 28 00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:27,515 I just don't want you touching them. 29 00:01:28,388 --> 00:01:30,982 Dad, there's a big black puddle under Mom's car. 30 00:01:31,057 --> 00:01:33,218 - Oh, no. - That doesn't mean it's a bad thing. 31 00:01:33,293 --> 00:01:37,457 We could have struck oil. It's a gusher. We're rich! Let's take a look. 32 00:02:46,065 --> 00:02:48,056 (Jill) Well, what do you think? Can we put the kids in the middle? 33 00:02:50,770 --> 00:02:52,567 - (doorbell rings) - Hey, Mom. 34 00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:54,766 Hi. I'll get it. 35 00:02:58,278 --> 00:03:00,405 - Hi, Mrs. Taylor. - Hi, Jennifer. Come on in. 36 00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:03,210 Brad! Jennifer's here. 37 00:03:04,384 --> 00:03:05,476 This is my goldfish, Howard. 38 00:03:05,552 --> 00:03:10,046 Oh, so this is the Howard Brad is gonna baby-sit. 39 00:03:10,123 --> 00:03:12,990 Hi, Howard. Did you bring a leash? 40 00:03:14,227 --> 00:03:18,095 - Hi, Bradley. This is Howard. - Hey, how's it going, Howard? 41 00:03:18,164 --> 00:03:20,997 You have to feed him twice a day and keep him in a well-lit area. 42 00:03:21,434 --> 00:03:24,426 No problem. That's how we take care of Mark. 43 00:03:26,973 --> 00:03:31,706 I'll only be gone for three days, but I'll really miss you. 44 00:03:31,778 --> 00:03:33,746 Uh-huh. 45 00:03:34,781 --> 00:03:37,443 Aren't you gonna miss me? 46 00:03:41,321 --> 00:03:42,447 Uh-huh. 47 00:03:42,522 --> 00:03:45,491 - Well, don't you want to say it? - Uh-uh. 48 00:03:48,528 --> 00:03:50,359 Bye. 49 00:03:51,331 --> 00:03:54,823 - Hi, Jennifer. Bye, Jennifer. - Bye, Mr. Taylor. 50 00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:58,393 Brad, I'm going back up to our room. Will you miss me? 51 00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:03,338 - No running in the house. - Hey, listen to her. Stop that. 52 00:04:03,409 --> 00:04:06,606 - Come on. Hey! Hey! - Stop it. 53 00:04:06,679 --> 00:04:08,340 Hey, what is all this stuff? 54 00:04:08,414 --> 00:04:11,577 I thought that you were just gonna go buy me an oil pan thing. 55 00:04:11,651 --> 00:04:14,779 Why stop there? Mark, show your mother what we got. 56 00:04:14,854 --> 00:04:16,845 New shock absorbers. 57 00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:22,452 Not ordinary shock absorbers. Binford's best, nitrogen-filled shock absorbers. 58 00:04:22,528 --> 00:04:24,621 They use these in all the off-the-road competitions. 59 00:04:24,697 --> 00:04:27,632 Tim, I don't intend to drive my car off the road. 60 00:04:27,700 --> 00:04:30,168 Well, you can now. 61 00:04:30,236 --> 00:04:31,999 - Do you want to help me put these on? - Sure. 62 00:04:32,071 --> 00:04:33,971 - All right. - Mark, go change your clothes first. 63 00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:36,634 - I'll meet you under the car in ten minutes. - OK, Dad. 64 00:04:36,709 --> 00:04:38,176 Do you have any love letters there for me? 65 00:04:38,244 --> 00:04:40,769 Nope. I got one for me. 66 00:04:40,847 --> 00:04:43,315 From Damon's Hardware. 67 00:04:43,383 --> 00:04:45,647 "Dear valued customer." 68 00:04:46,653 --> 00:04:49,850 That's me. Valued, beloved, loyal. 69 00:04:49,922 --> 00:04:52,447 Catalog, coupon... 70 00:04:52,525 --> 00:04:56,484 Smells like a pork sandwich. Must be from your mom. 71 00:04:56,929 --> 00:05:00,626 - Catalog, bank... - Thank you. 72 00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:03,760 Bank... Bank? If that's from the bank, why is my name not on there? 73 00:05:03,836 --> 00:05:05,701 - It's not for you. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 74 00:05:05,772 --> 00:05:06,966 Hey! Hey! 75 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:10,737 It is a federal offense to open somebody else's mail. 76 00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:13,142 I wasn't gonna open it. 77 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:17,779 "Jill Taylor, this is your new checking-account sta-state..." 78 00:05:17,850 --> 00:05:20,341 ...ment. - You opened your own checking account? 79 00:05:20,420 --> 00:05:22,445 Yes, I did. Do you have a problem with that? 80 00:05:22,522 --> 00:05:24,387 No, I don't have a problem with that. 81 00:05:24,457 --> 00:05:28,484 My wife's sneaking behind my back, stockpiling money. 82 00:05:28,561 --> 00:05:30,188 Why did you open your own checking account? 83 00:05:30,263 --> 00:05:32,754 Well, you know, I'm working now, and I have a little money, 84 00:05:32,832 --> 00:05:37,030 and I just thought this'd be, sort of, like, mine. 85 00:05:37,904 --> 00:05:40,202 Great. I've been working for 15 years, 86 00:05:40,273 --> 00:05:43,436 so that means the money in our joint checking account can be, sort of, like, 87 00:05:43,509 --> 00:05:44,806 mine! 88 00:05:45,244 --> 00:05:48,577 No, no, no. That will still be ours. 89 00:05:48,648 --> 00:05:50,411 How silly of me! 90 00:05:50,483 --> 00:05:53,611 The money I make, we both spend, the money you make, you spend. 91 00:05:53,686 --> 00:05:57,622 - Now you got it. - (growls) I don't like that one bit. 92 00:05:57,690 --> 00:06:00,921 - But I can spend it on you. - (makes monkey noise) 93 00:06:00,993 --> 00:06:03,291 Yeah. See? 94 00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:06,855 See, back in the old days, when I wanted to buy you a birthday present 95 00:06:06,933 --> 00:06:10,391 and I had to write a check for it, I always felt that I was spending your money. 96 00:06:10,470 --> 00:06:13,803 - Yeah. - But now, I'm spending my own money. 97 00:06:13,873 --> 00:06:16,364 So this isn't really like just a checking account per se, 98 00:06:16,442 --> 00:06:18,774 it's more like a Tim Taylor birthday account. 99 00:06:18,845 --> 00:06:22,110 That's a good way for you to look at it. 100 00:06:24,250 --> 00:06:26,582 What are you doing? 101 00:06:26,652 --> 00:06:29,485 Remember when Jennifer told me to keep the bowl well lit? 102 00:06:29,555 --> 00:06:34,151 I think I moved the bowl a little too close to the desk lamp. 103 00:06:37,296 --> 00:06:42,097 Well, that was smart. What did you think? He wanted to read in bed? 104 00:06:42,902 --> 00:06:45,370 I didn't know the water would get that hot. 105 00:06:45,438 --> 00:06:48,339 Just take him out and see if he flops around. 106 00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:52,037 No way. The only slimy thing I touch is you. 107 00:07:03,823 --> 00:07:06,986 One, two, three. He's fried. 108 00:07:12,298 --> 00:07:13,856 Oh, man. 109 00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:16,265 What am I gonna do? 110 00:07:19,572 --> 00:07:23,440 Hey, I know. You can buy her a fish that looks exactly like him. 111 00:07:23,509 --> 00:07:25,704 Yeah, great idea. 112 00:07:25,778 --> 00:07:28,246 Let's go to the pet store. 113 00:07:28,314 --> 00:07:30,874 What are you bringing that for? 114 00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:33,612 Well, we need to bring him along to compare. 115 00:07:33,686 --> 00:07:36,678 Well, it's not like he needs the bowl. 116 00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:55,399 (Mark) Dad, when's the hot rod coming back? 117 00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:57,568 Uh, as soon as we get it back from Dave's shop. 118 00:07:57,643 --> 00:08:01,010 He's aligning the front end and trying to fix the rumble seat for me. 119 00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:03,674 - Did you put oil on the gasket there? - Yeah. 120 00:08:03,749 --> 00:08:05,649 All right. 121 00:08:05,718 --> 00:08:07,709 My son's going to be a mechanic. 122 00:08:07,787 --> 00:08:11,587 - No, I'm gonna be a racecar driver. - Oh-ho-ho-ho! 123 00:08:12,558 --> 00:08:15,049 My chest is swelling. 124 00:08:16,095 --> 00:08:19,223 All right, under the car. Man territory. 125 00:08:19,298 --> 00:08:22,961 The beauty's up top. This is where the power is, son. 126 00:08:23,035 --> 00:08:25,629 Mom wasn't happy that you did this to her car. 127 00:08:25,705 --> 00:08:28,139 Well, actually, it's our car. 128 00:08:28,207 --> 00:08:32,667 - But Mom drives it. - Yeah, but I paid for it. I restored it, so... 129 00:08:32,745 --> 00:08:36,841 - So it's really yours? - Well, technically, yeah. 130 00:08:36,916 --> 00:08:39,510 - Is that right? - Ow! 131 00:08:40,653 --> 00:08:43,053 Ow. Ow. 132 00:08:43,122 --> 00:08:46,649 So, technically, this is your car? 133 00:08:46,726 --> 00:08:49,661 Technically, I got a mild concussion. 134 00:08:51,063 --> 00:08:54,726 - Mark, I need to talk to your father, so, uh... - I know. I'm gonna go wash my hands. 135 00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:57,098 - OK, but leave this. - Oh, man. 136 00:08:57,169 --> 00:08:59,399 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 137 00:08:59,472 --> 00:09:02,635 Honey, I think you misheard that. 138 00:09:02,708 --> 00:09:07,611 Maybe I did. I thought that I just heard my husband say 139 00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:11,616 that this is his car because he paid for it. 140 00:09:11,684 --> 00:09:16,417 Well, I know him. I don't think he would've said that. 141 00:09:16,489 --> 00:09:19,185 I know him better than you do, and I think he did. 142 00:09:19,258 --> 00:09:21,021 Look... 143 00:09:21,093 --> 00:09:24,722 I think of it as mine not because I paid for it, but because I maintain it. 144 00:09:24,797 --> 00:09:30,064 Well, I maintain the house, so I guess that would make it mine. 145 00:09:30,136 --> 00:09:33,936 Well, it can't be yours. You didn't pay for it. 146 00:09:36,442 --> 00:09:41,243 So, technically, the house is yours because you paid for it? 147 00:09:41,314 --> 00:09:43,248 Technically. 148 00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:45,546 But I don't charge you any rent. 149 00:09:45,618 --> 00:09:47,609 I'm kidding! 150 00:09:50,489 --> 00:09:54,482 You've just been lying all these years when you said that everything was ours. 151 00:09:54,560 --> 00:09:57,688 What you really meant was everything was yours, yours, yours. Jill has nothing. 152 00:09:57,763 --> 00:09:59,958 You have my heart, honey. 153 00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:03,735 In your very angry hand. 154 00:10:03,803 --> 00:10:06,795 Come on, come on. Jill, don't get all whipped up about this. 155 00:10:06,872 --> 00:10:10,069 You know, Tim, I have always thought of this house as our home. 156 00:10:10,142 --> 00:10:12,474 - It is our home. - No, it's not. It's Tim's house. 157 00:10:12,545 --> 00:10:15,275 - This is Tim's table. This is Tim's couch. - No, it's not. Jill. 158 00:10:15,348 --> 00:10:16,838 - All that stuff over there is Tim's. - Jill. Jill! 159 00:10:16,916 --> 00:10:20,408 Oh, look! Here's something of mine. These coasters are mine. 160 00:10:20,486 --> 00:10:24,889 Well, actually, didn't Aunt Helen send them to both of us for our wedding? 161 00:10:24,957 --> 00:10:26,515 (mouths) 162 00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:29,557 Well, here's your half. 163 00:10:30,696 --> 00:10:34,132 Good thing she didn't send us bowling balls. 164 00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:36,168 You are such a hypocrite. 165 00:10:36,235 --> 00:10:38,999 Me? I'm not the one sneaking around, opening my own checking account. 166 00:10:39,071 --> 00:10:41,938 Since when is it sneaking around for me to go out in broad daylight 167 00:10:42,008 --> 00:10:43,839 and open an account with my money? 168 00:10:43,909 --> 00:10:46,070 - "My money. My money. My..." - Yes. And I need it, 169 00:10:46,145 --> 00:10:50,912 because without it all I've got are three kids and a couple of coasters. 170 00:10:50,983 --> 00:10:53,713 You act like it's my fault I make all the money and pay for everything around here. 171 00:10:53,786 --> 00:10:55,378 Why don't you just take everything around here? 172 00:10:55,454 --> 00:10:57,422 Why don't you take my checking account too? 173 00:10:57,490 --> 00:11:00,982 Why do I want that? There's no money in it. 174 00:11:05,231 --> 00:11:06,858 Oh! 175 00:11:11,737 --> 00:11:14,228 I can't believe it. Four different pet stores, 176 00:11:14,306 --> 00:11:17,002 and we couldn't find one that matched Howard's spot. 177 00:11:17,076 --> 00:11:21,911 How was I supposed to know that there are 20 different types of goldfish? 178 00:11:21,981 --> 00:11:26,315 Jennifer's gonna be really mad when she sees Howard floating there, dead. 179 00:11:26,385 --> 00:11:27,875 Wait. 180 00:11:27,953 --> 00:11:30,683 - What if he's not floating? - What? 181 00:11:30,756 --> 00:11:34,089 What if we took a very tiny ball bearing and stuck it in his mouth? 182 00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:37,926 He'll sink to the bottom. She'll think he's alive. 183 00:11:38,764 --> 00:11:41,198 Yeah. Then she'll take him home and think she killed him. 184 00:11:41,267 --> 00:11:43,667 - Right. - Cool. 185 00:11:55,981 --> 00:11:57,744 You over there, Wilson? 186 00:11:57,817 --> 00:12:01,719 Down here, good neighbor. (exhales) 187 00:12:06,792 --> 00:12:08,726 Are you making a snow angel? 188 00:12:08,794 --> 00:12:11,058 Well, I guess I am, neighbor. But, actually, 189 00:12:11,130 --> 00:12:15,590 I'm preparing for my annual snowshoe expedition through the Upper Peninsula, 190 00:12:15,668 --> 00:12:20,230 and I'm just making sure that my long johns stay toasty and dry. 191 00:12:21,907 --> 00:12:27,539 Whoa! Tim, I think I've found a spot that is not quite waterproof. 192 00:12:27,613 --> 00:12:30,605 - Can I ask you a question? - Hop on my sled, neighbor. 193 00:12:30,683 --> 00:12:35,484 - Jill and I got in this bad argument. - Mm-hm, mm-hm, mm-hm, mm-hm. 194 00:12:35,554 --> 00:12:39,081 She says that I think I own everything in the house. 195 00:12:39,158 --> 00:12:40,887 Hm. Well, do you think that, Tim? 196 00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:44,191 - No, we own everything together. 50-50. - Tim? 197 00:12:44,630 --> 00:12:46,530 I-I guess I... 198 00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:48,931 To be honest, I do kind of feel like I own everything. 199 00:12:49,001 --> 00:12:53,267 Well, Tim, you wouldn't have that problem if you were a Modoc. 200 00:12:53,339 --> 00:12:55,398 A who-doc? 201 00:12:55,474 --> 00:12:59,410 Tim, I'm talking about the Modoc Indian tribe in their native tongue. 202 00:12:59,478 --> 00:13:01,810 They have no word for "yours" or "mine," 203 00:13:01,881 --> 00:13:03,940 only one word... 204 00:13:04,016 --> 00:13:05,711 for "ours." 205 00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:10,688 Each man's material possession belongs to the whole tribe. 206 00:13:10,756 --> 00:13:14,214 Must be difficult when it comes to underwear. 207 00:13:14,293 --> 00:13:18,161 You see, Tim, in the 20th century, our culture tends to measure a man's worth 208 00:13:18,230 --> 00:13:19,322 by his possessions. 209 00:13:19,398 --> 00:13:22,162 And I got some cool stuff, too. 210 00:13:22,234 --> 00:13:23,895 That gives you a feeling of power, doesn't it? 211 00:13:23,969 --> 00:13:26,164 - Oh, you bet... - And control over your life. 212 00:13:26,238 --> 00:13:28,263 Oh, control, ha-ha. 213 00:13:28,340 --> 00:13:31,468 - And control over your mate. - Yeah... 214 00:13:32,311 --> 00:13:34,404 Oh, yeah. I... 215 00:13:35,581 --> 00:13:39,449 You're saying that I want to own everything so I can control Jill? 216 00:13:39,518 --> 00:13:41,645 Well, Tim, if you own everything, 217 00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:44,052 you have all the power. 218 00:13:46,592 --> 00:13:51,052 Whoa, Tim! I feel an icy blast moving up my hindquarters. 219 00:13:51,130 --> 00:13:54,759 Best go in and do a little bit of waterproofing. 220 00:13:55,935 --> 00:13:59,098 And now for the point I've really been waiting for - the heavy-duty sanding. 221 00:13:59,171 --> 00:14:01,696 And for heavy-duty sanding we're gonna need a very special tool. 222 00:14:01,774 --> 00:14:03,765 Lisa? 223 00:14:06,445 --> 00:14:09,471 - Here you go, Tim. - What do you got there? 224 00:14:09,548 --> 00:14:13,006 Oh, it's a 2100 model electric drum sander. 225 00:14:13,085 --> 00:14:15,553 That's right. Four-and-a-half horsepower patented stabilizer. 226 00:14:15,621 --> 00:14:20,183 Not to mention full swiveling trailing-wire support. 227 00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:24,492 Almost more than a man can take. 228 00:14:24,563 --> 00:14:25,996 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 229 00:14:26,065 --> 00:14:28,465 You might also wanna mention, Tim, that this particular sander 230 00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:30,661 weighs over 240 pounds. 231 00:14:30,736 --> 00:14:33,466 Could you help me with the...? 232 00:14:34,740 --> 00:14:38,972 Put an apron on there, we'll call it "Al's Mom." 233 00:14:40,179 --> 00:14:44,741 Now, because of the weight and the nature of the wood surface, in our case pine, 234 00:14:44,817 --> 00:14:48,913 I would suggest going with the 2400 rpms as opposed to the 28. 235 00:14:48,988 --> 00:14:50,853 Thanks for sharing that, Al. 236 00:14:50,923 --> 00:14:53,551 But I think I'm gonna go with 4200 rpm. 237 00:14:53,993 --> 00:14:56,257 Well, Tim, it doesn't go up to 4200. 238 00:14:56,328 --> 00:14:59,126 Does now, my stout little friend. 239 00:15:00,132 --> 00:15:02,293 I rewired it. 240 00:15:03,535 --> 00:15:06,868 Now, when going with a plank floor like this, you want to go with the grain. 241 00:15:06,939 --> 00:15:08,930 (switches on sander) 242 00:15:25,658 --> 00:15:27,683 On first glance, 243 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:30,354 this might seem like I screwed up. 244 00:15:32,798 --> 00:15:35,665 But I've actually done this to prove an important point. 245 00:15:35,734 --> 00:15:39,568 That you know absolutely nothing about sanders? 246 00:15:40,439 --> 00:15:42,600 No. 247 00:15:42,675 --> 00:15:45,610 That too much power is not always a good thing. 248 00:15:45,678 --> 00:15:49,478 And I know what you're asking. What kind of power is he talking about? 249 00:15:49,548 --> 00:15:51,140 I know I am. 250 00:15:51,216 --> 00:15:54,014 Well, I'm not talking about the kind of power you plug in. 251 00:15:54,086 --> 00:15:56,179 I'm talking about the power of ownership. 252 00:15:56,255 --> 00:15:59,952 Too often in our lives we give too much value to our possessions, 253 00:16:00,025 --> 00:16:03,483 - like the sander here. - Actually, Tim, this sander was a rental. 254 00:16:03,562 --> 00:16:05,553 Whatever, Al. 255 00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:09,226 We can kiss that security deposit goodbye. 256 00:16:10,069 --> 00:16:12,663 I'm glad I put it on your credit card. 257 00:16:14,006 --> 00:16:17,635 - My credit card? - Let it go, Al. 258 00:16:17,710 --> 00:16:19,678 In relationships, you've gotta be equal. 259 00:16:19,745 --> 00:16:21,770 Share things equally, no matter who makes the money. 260 00:16:21,847 --> 00:16:24,839 'Cause Al and I have a good relationship. We share. 261 00:16:24,917 --> 00:16:28,182 - But I'm no more valuable than Al. - I agree. 262 00:16:29,722 --> 00:16:32,054 Even though I make a lot more money. 263 00:16:32,124 --> 00:16:34,786 And I get full medical coverage. 264 00:16:35,894 --> 00:16:37,919 - You get full medical? - Sure. 265 00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:40,557 But Al and I have learned how to share. 266 00:16:40,632 --> 00:16:43,465 On the job site, there's no difference between Al's tools and my tools. 267 00:16:43,535 --> 00:16:46,971 Actually, Tim, there is. At the end of the job... 268 00:16:47,039 --> 00:16:48,131 (clicking) 269 00:16:48,207 --> 00:16:50,607 ...my tools still work. 270 00:17:07,059 --> 00:17:09,584 - Where's Jennifer? - She's not here yet. 271 00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:12,862 Oh, well, I'll bet she's gonna be happy to see Howard. 272 00:17:12,931 --> 00:17:18,062 Howard, did you miss Jennif... Brad! 273 00:17:18,137 --> 00:17:21,231 - This fish is not alive. - Yeah, it is. 274 00:17:22,241 --> 00:17:25,369 It's standing up straight. Fish don't do that. 275 00:17:25,444 --> 00:17:29,278 I trained him. Good fish. Keep standing. 276 00:17:29,348 --> 00:17:30,781 Brad, 277 00:17:30,849 --> 00:17:34,285 - did you kill Howard? - Yes. 278 00:17:34,353 --> 00:17:38,153 If he's dead, why isn't he floating on the top? 279 00:17:42,961 --> 00:17:47,091 - I stuck a ball bearing in his mouth. - Oh, Brad! 280 00:17:47,166 --> 00:17:48,155 (doorbell rings) 281 00:17:48,233 --> 00:17:50,701 Mom, that's Jennifer. What am I gonna do? 282 00:17:50,769 --> 00:17:54,796 Well, you're gonna have to tell her the truth. Spare her the ball bearing thing. 283 00:17:54,873 --> 00:17:56,272 Oh, man. 284 00:17:56,341 --> 00:17:59,868 - Hi, Jennifer. Come on in. - Hi, Jennifer. Did you have a nice trip? 285 00:17:59,945 --> 00:18:02,743 - Very nice, Mrs. Taylor. - That's good. 286 00:18:02,815 --> 00:18:05,045 Hi, Bradley. Thanks for taking care of Howard. 287 00:18:05,117 --> 00:18:09,178 - Oh, he was no trouble. - He slept most of the time. 288 00:18:12,357 --> 00:18:14,917 I'll see you at school Monday. 289 00:18:16,061 --> 00:18:17,551 Brad? 290 00:18:17,629 --> 00:18:18,960 (mouths) 291 00:18:19,965 --> 00:18:21,523 Listen, 292 00:18:22,568 --> 00:18:24,035 Jennifer... 293 00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:27,766 Brad, is there something wrong with Howard? 294 00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:30,567 He's kind of... 295 00:18:31,777 --> 00:18:34,439 ...dead. - What happened? 296 00:18:34,513 --> 00:18:36,071 Well, 297 00:18:36,148 --> 00:18:39,743 let's just say he saw a bright light and went towards it. 298 00:18:45,457 --> 00:18:47,391 Jennifer? 299 00:18:48,293 --> 00:18:49,988 Jennifer? 300 00:18:51,563 --> 00:18:53,929 Look, Jennifer, it was an accident. 301 00:18:53,999 --> 00:18:57,662 But all Brad worried about was how you'd feel. 302 00:18:58,704 --> 00:19:00,831 Is that true, Bradley? 303 00:19:02,207 --> 00:19:05,267 He said he'd feel awful if he made you cry. 304 00:19:06,378 --> 00:19:08,403 Really, Bradley? 305 00:19:11,717 --> 00:19:15,744 That's so sweet. I'm really glad you talked to me about this. 306 00:19:20,459 --> 00:19:23,860 Hey, Jennifer, maybe we can find another fish, just like Howard. 307 00:19:23,929 --> 00:19:25,988 Good luck. 308 00:19:29,468 --> 00:19:31,026 Well, um... 309 00:19:31,103 --> 00:19:33,537 - Mom, I'm gonna walk Jennifer home. - Oh, OK. 310 00:19:33,605 --> 00:19:36,699 - Bye-bye, Jennifer. - Bye, Mrs. Taylor. 311 00:19:36,775 --> 00:19:39,437 Randy, that was so cool - the way you stood up for your brother. 312 00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:44,676 Well, Mom, I kind of broke his Game Boy, so now he won't beat me up. 313 00:19:46,985 --> 00:19:51,149 - Hey, pistonhead. - Hey, crankshaft. 314 00:19:54,226 --> 00:19:56,319 - Hi. - Hi. 315 00:19:56,395 --> 00:19:58,761 - How was your day? - Delightful. 316 00:19:59,231 --> 00:20:02,792 - Is that 'cause I wasn't here? - Maybe. 317 00:20:02,868 --> 00:20:06,998 I was talking to Wilson, and I think I know what the trouble is. 318 00:20:07,072 --> 00:20:09,939 We got into an argument because we tried to define our relationship 319 00:20:10,008 --> 00:20:12,374 by our possessions. 320 00:20:12,444 --> 00:20:14,639 I agree. 321 00:20:14,713 --> 00:20:19,844 I think we could learn a lot from this tribe called the Mopeds. 322 00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:24,153 - The Mopeds? - Yeah. It's a tribe that share everything. 323 00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:26,248 Even their underwear. 324 00:20:27,526 --> 00:20:30,586 - Tim, what are you talking about? - Truth is, I... 325 00:20:30,662 --> 00:20:34,962 I do judge myself on my possessions and what I bring into this house. 326 00:20:35,033 --> 00:20:38,901 But you do so much, how do I put a price tag on that? 327 00:20:38,971 --> 00:20:42,805 - Try. - Aha. I knew you were gonna say that. 328 00:20:42,874 --> 00:20:45,604 So I figured this out at work today and wrote down what you should've earned, 329 00:20:45,677 --> 00:20:46,974 could I have afforded to pay you, 330 00:20:47,045 --> 00:20:49,536 for all the 12 and a half years of work you've done around the house. 331 00:20:49,615 --> 00:20:53,608 And, even though I wasn't legally bound to do this, I threw in a bonus 332 00:20:53,685 --> 00:20:57,280 for the pain of childbirth. 333 00:20:57,990 --> 00:21:00,083 That'd better be a big bonus. 334 00:21:00,158 --> 00:21:01,750 Honey, I was there. I know what you went through. 335 00:21:01,827 --> 00:21:04,887 - Oh, you do, do you? - Yes. It was painful for me too. 336 00:21:04,963 --> 00:21:09,400 - All that screaming hurt my ears. - Yeah, right. 337 00:21:09,468 --> 00:21:10,833 How much do I get? 338 00:21:10,902 --> 00:21:15,100 Listen to this. 580 million dollars and 60 cents. I rounded it off. 339 00:21:15,173 --> 00:21:17,266 Hand it over. 340 00:21:17,342 --> 00:21:19,503 I'm a little short. 341 00:21:19,578 --> 00:21:21,603 I was kinda hoping I could work some of it off. 342 00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:23,671 How are you gonna do that? 343 00:21:23,749 --> 00:21:26,980 By satisfying every one of your needs. 344 00:21:28,620 --> 00:21:31,145 That'll use up about 20 bucks. 345 00:21:33,825 --> 00:21:36,658 Since you are being so generous, 346 00:21:36,728 --> 00:21:39,322 perhaps I should have my checks reprinted. 347 00:21:39,398 --> 00:21:41,161 No. I was stupid. Have your own checking account. 348 00:21:41,233 --> 00:21:46,068 No, no. I want to, I want to. It'll be a joint account, 349 00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:48,436 equal, 50-50. 350 00:21:48,507 --> 00:21:51,067 - Equal? You don't have to do this. - Here. How would that look? 351 00:21:51,143 --> 00:21:54,340 You could've left 'em the way... "Mr. and Mrs. Jill Taylor." 352 00:21:54,413 --> 00:21:56,904 - Oh-oh-oh-oh! - Oh-oh-oh-oh! 353 00:21:59,318 --> 00:22:00,342 (television plays) 354 00:22:01,219 --> 00:22:04,780 You know, honey, I realized today we need to order new checks for the old account. 355 00:22:04,856 --> 00:22:08,189 I was thinking, maybe we should change the design. 356 00:22:08,260 --> 00:22:12,959 - What's the matter with the old one? - I don't know. It's just not us. 357 00:22:13,031 --> 00:22:18,697 I was thinking it'd be nice to have, like, a sunset or some daisies, or... 358 00:22:18,770 --> 00:22:21,603 some frolicking bunnies. 359 00:22:23,875 --> 00:22:26,571 I hope you're kidding. Do you expect me to go to the hardware store 360 00:22:26,645 --> 00:22:28,772 and order a nail gun with bunny checks? 361 00:22:28,847 --> 00:22:31,338 (mouths) 362 00:22:31,416 --> 00:22:33,247 Well, what do you want? 363 00:22:33,318 --> 00:22:35,445 Something a little more manly. 364 00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:37,715 Armpit hair, marines... 365 00:22:39,057 --> 00:22:41,218 Kidney stones. 366 00:22:41,293 --> 00:22:46,287 I'm sure I'm gonna go to the grocery store with armpit-hair checks. 367 00:22:46,365 --> 00:22:49,528 What happened to all this compromise? 50-50, what's mine is yours, that stuff. 368 00:22:49,601 --> 00:22:51,466 OK, how about this? 369 00:22:52,304 --> 00:22:55,034 A bunny passing a kidney stone. 370 00:22:55,207 --> 00:22:57,471 (squawks) 371 00:22:58,243 --> 00:23:01,235 On the job site, there's no difference between Al's tools and my tools. 372 00:23:01,313 --> 00:23:03,713 Actually, Tim, there is. At the end of the job... 373 00:23:03,782 --> 00:23:05,716 (sander doesn't switch on) 374 00:23:05,784 --> 00:23:08,252 ...my tools still work. 375 00:23:18,130 --> 00:23:21,395 - Good night, everybody. - Good night, everybody.