1
00:00:12,078 --> 00:00:15,172
- Yes, he's asleep.
- Are you sure we should do this?
2
00:00:15,248 --> 00:00:18,342
(whispering) After what he did to us
last night in that pillow fight?
3
00:00:18,418 --> 00:00:20,352
(whispering) It's payback time!
4
00:00:20,420 --> 00:00:21,910
(snoring)
5
00:00:21,988 --> 00:00:25,287
OK, Mark, you do the shoes.
We'll take care of the rest.
6
00:00:35,268 --> 00:00:37,202
Everybody,
7
00:00:37,270 --> 00:00:39,431
stand back.
8
00:00:40,340 --> 00:00:42,171
OK.
9
00:00:46,846 --> 00:00:49,007
(groans)
10
00:00:55,255 --> 00:00:57,780
You little monkeys!
11
00:01:01,628 --> 00:01:05,428
- Nice boxers, Dad.
- Binford! Binford! Binford!
12
00:01:05,498 --> 00:01:10,060
You watch that Tabasco sauce.
I'm coming after you kids.
13
00:01:10,136 --> 00:01:13,970
Oh, honey, not now.
Can't we wait till after dinner?
14
00:01:15,708 --> 00:01:18,541
Those little genius boys did this.
Give me a towel or something. Help me.
15
00:01:18,611 --> 00:01:20,704
No, wait, wait, wait.
You're just gonna make a big mess.
16
00:01:20,780 --> 00:01:22,077
- Let me help you out with that.
- Come on!
17
00:01:22,148 --> 00:01:25,447
OK, just a minute.
Say cheese!
18
00:02:37,323 --> 00:02:39,314
(Jill) Well, what do you think?
Could we put the kids in the middle?
19
00:02:43,563 --> 00:02:45,588
- Good morning!
- Morning, hon.
20
00:02:45,665 --> 00:02:48,998
What is green, has eight legs
and liver spots?
21
00:02:49,769 --> 00:02:53,136
I don't know, but I think I married her.
22
00:02:53,706 --> 00:02:55,936
With all eight legs
kicking and screaming.
23
00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:57,943
So, Tim...
24
00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:01,105
do you know what special event
we have coming up next week?
25
00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:03,172
You don't even have to ask me.
I know what it is.
26
00:03:03,249 --> 00:03:06,275
- You're bluffing. What is it?
- Our anniversary. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
27
00:03:06,352 --> 00:03:08,343
OK, Mr. Big Shot.
28
00:03:08,421 --> 00:03:11,151
What day of the week is it?
29
00:03:11,691 --> 00:03:14,956
What day of the week is it? That's easy.
What day of the week is it? What day...
30
00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:16,518
- Friday.
- Friday. Friday.
31
00:03:16,596 --> 00:03:19,588
- Saturday. Saturday.
- Saturday?
32
00:03:21,801 --> 00:03:24,793
We will of course be exchanging gifts.
33
00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:27,305
And you're the hardest person
in the world to buy for.
34
00:03:27,373 --> 00:03:30,604
Yes, I know, I know.
But this year I've made it easy for you.
35
00:03:30,677 --> 00:03:34,135
Crowley's is holding this beautiful
gold hand-knit sweater for me.
36
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:36,079
All you have to do
is go down there and pick it up
37
00:03:36,149 --> 00:03:38,344
and your anniversary nightmare is over.
38
00:03:38,418 --> 00:03:41,683
You just waltz in here and deny me
the pleasure of shopping for you?
39
00:03:41,754 --> 00:03:45,815
- That's right.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, all right.
40
00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:48,360
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Don't you want to know what I want?
41
00:03:48,428 --> 00:03:50,487
I've already got your present
and I know you'll love it.
42
00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:55,830
I hope it's as good as the sweater I bought
for you. I shopped for hours for that thing.
43
00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:58,837
Want us to tell you what Mom got you?
44
00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:02,068
No, I don't want you
to tell me what Mom got me.
45
00:04:02,141 --> 00:04:04,735
The surprise is half the fun.
46
00:04:05,645 --> 00:04:09,172
I want to know
and I want to know right now.
47
00:04:09,616 --> 00:04:12,813
Oh, well, you know,
I don't want to ruin the surprise.
48
00:04:12,885 --> 00:04:15,353
- Mark, two bucks?
- Broom closet. Top shelf.
49
00:04:15,421 --> 00:04:17,582
All right.
50
00:04:17,657 --> 00:04:20,455
Hey, I didn't know
there were gonna be bribes involved.
51
00:04:20,526 --> 00:04:24,189
Where have you been living
the last ten years?
52
00:04:25,031 --> 00:04:27,192
Oh, whoa!
53
00:04:28,968 --> 00:04:31,459
This is like a Momo steering wheel
off some kind of sports car.
54
00:04:31,537 --> 00:04:36,031
- Yeah. Mario Andretti's racecar.
- Get out of here! Oh-oh-oh!
55
00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:38,737
Are you kidding?
This is great. How did she get this?
56
00:04:38,811 --> 00:04:41,644
Well, she wrote him a letter
after he was on your show.
57
00:04:41,714 --> 00:04:43,147
Oh, man.
58
00:04:43,216 --> 00:04:46,515
This thing is really cool.
59
00:04:46,586 --> 00:04:49,885
I've got to get her something great.
60
00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:52,083
Something she really wants.
61
00:04:52,992 --> 00:04:55,324
Ballroom dancing lessons.
62
00:04:55,395 --> 00:04:58,592
Dad, be serious.
You don't know how to dance.
63
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:02,831
Brad! The bus is gonna
be here any minute.
64
00:05:02,902 --> 00:05:06,338
You still have to make your bed
and brush your teeth.
65
00:05:06,406 --> 00:05:09,534
Tim, you know, Crowley's is only
gonna hold that sweater for three days,
66
00:05:09,609 --> 00:05:10,906
so if you're gonna get it,
you gotta go fast.
67
00:05:10,977 --> 00:05:13,411
Forget about the sweater.
I've got the perfect gift for you.
68
00:05:13,479 --> 00:05:17,575
If you think filling my car with antifreeze is
gonna work as my present again this year,
69
00:05:17,650 --> 00:05:19,117
you can forget it.
70
00:05:19,185 --> 00:05:20,880
Let's put it this way. When you find out
what I'm gonna give you,
71
00:05:20,953 --> 00:05:23,820
you're gonna want to cover me
in chocolate syrup
72
00:05:23,890 --> 00:05:27,758
and show your appreciation
in weird and unusual ways.
73
00:05:28,561 --> 00:05:30,586
Chocolate syrup.
74
00:05:30,663 --> 00:05:33,131
I've gotta admit,
you piqued my interest.
75
00:05:33,199 --> 00:05:35,895
What do you say to me
after we finish dinner every anniversary?
76
00:05:35,968 --> 00:05:37,560
"Tim, you have mashed potatoes
on your tie."
77
00:05:37,637 --> 00:05:40,037
Jill, you always say,
"We should go dancing."
78
00:05:40,106 --> 00:05:43,564
This year, we go dancing.
79
00:05:43,643 --> 00:05:45,338
- Are you serious?
- Yeah.
80
00:05:45,411 --> 00:05:48,244
Oh, that's wonderful.
81
00:05:48,314 --> 00:05:52,080
- Dining and dancing at the Excalibur.
- The Excalibur!
82
00:05:52,151 --> 00:05:54,210
That's fantastic!
83
00:05:54,287 --> 00:05:57,154
And in order to prepare ourselves
for a night of ecstasy...
84
00:05:57,223 --> 00:05:58,212
Yeah?
85
00:05:58,291 --> 00:06:00,350
...I say we take
86
00:06:00,426 --> 00:06:02,553
ballroom dancing lessons.
87
00:06:03,563 --> 00:06:07,522
Ballroom dancing lessons.
Oh, honey.
88
00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:09,500
- I just have two words for you.
- Yeah?
89
00:06:09,569 --> 00:06:12,868
- Hot fudge.
- Oh. Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh.
90
00:06:13,706 --> 00:06:15,867
(ballroom music)
91
00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:22,776
There you go, cha-cha-cha.
Move those hips, cha-cha-cha.
92
00:06:22,849 --> 00:06:26,842
Very good, Mr. Green.
Very nice, Mrs. T.
93
00:06:26,919 --> 00:06:28,386
- Thank you.
- Good.
94
00:06:28,454 --> 00:06:30,319
This is really embarrassing.
95
00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:33,416
Well, you weren't embarrassed
in the '70s when you had to do disco.
96
00:06:33,493 --> 00:06:36,291
Well, I had white boots, you know?
97
00:06:37,830 --> 00:06:39,092
Cha-cha, cha-cha-cha.
98
00:06:39,165 --> 00:06:42,293
- Yeah, that was embarrassing.
- This cha-cha's so dated.
99
00:06:42,368 --> 00:06:45,531
- Oh, yeah, like disco is here to stay.
- Could be.
100
00:06:45,605 --> 00:06:48,369
OK, class, that was just wonderful.
101
00:06:48,441 --> 00:06:52,275
Mrs. Taylor, really, you're a natural.
Such style and grace.
102
00:06:52,345 --> 00:06:54,438
- Oh, thank you.
- How about me?
103
00:06:54,514 --> 00:06:59,816
- Well, Mr. Taylor, you're one of a kind.
- Thanks a lot.
104
00:06:59,886 --> 00:07:00,910
What did she mean by that?
105
00:07:00,987 --> 00:07:04,115
She meant you're a geek
and disco is dead.
106
00:07:05,825 --> 00:07:08,817
All right, everybody.
Let's take a break, but remember:
107
00:07:08,895 --> 00:07:12,854
To live is to dance
and to dance is to be free.
108
00:07:12,932 --> 00:07:16,129
Free? Does this mean you're not
charging us 20 bucks for the lesson?
109
00:07:16,202 --> 00:07:19,103
Oh, Mr. Taylor,
don't think of it as money.
110
00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:22,300
Think of it as an investment
in sophistication.
111
00:07:22,375 --> 00:07:25,833
And that's an investment you could use.
112
00:07:25,912 --> 00:07:27,038
Tim, come on.
113
00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:29,638
This dance class thing was your idea. Are
you just gonna fool around all the time?
114
00:07:29,715 --> 00:07:32,206
No, I'm not gonna fool around. I'm gonna
get this and learn how to cha-cha.
115
00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:35,516
I can't fool around
with all these refined people in here.
116
00:07:35,588 --> 00:07:38,455
Hey, tool man. I love your show.
117
00:07:38,524 --> 00:07:40,617
- (grunts)
- (Tim grunts in reply)
118
00:07:40,693 --> 00:07:43,161
You must be Mrs. Arr-arr.
119
00:07:44,430 --> 00:07:46,830
Well, actually,
Arr-arr-arr is my married name.
120
00:07:46,899 --> 00:07:50,596
My maiden name was...
(high-pitched barking)
121
00:07:56,709 --> 00:07:57,698
Will you excuse me?
122
00:07:57,777 --> 00:08:01,611
I have to go check our babysitter
and see if our kids have killed him yet.
123
00:08:01,681 --> 00:08:03,114
- Andy Paxton.
- Hey, Andy. Tim Taylor.
124
00:08:03,182 --> 00:08:04,877
- Sit down, buddy.
- How are you?
125
00:08:04,951 --> 00:08:08,910
So, uh, how did your wife rope you into
this cha-cha thing?
126
00:08:08,988 --> 00:08:14,051
Well, it's a trade-off.
You see, I do the cha-cha, she shaves.
127
00:08:15,561 --> 00:08:18,655
All right, everybody.
The break's over.
128
00:08:18,731 --> 00:08:21,029
The line was busy.
129
00:08:21,100 --> 00:08:25,230
Now that you know the basic cha-cha,
let's add a little spice.
130
00:08:25,304 --> 00:08:27,534
I need a couple to demonstrate.
131
00:08:27,607 --> 00:08:29,802
Mrs. Taylor.
132
00:08:29,876 --> 00:08:35,371
No, no, Mr. Taylor. Not you. I think
we'll just kinda mix things up a little bit.
133
00:08:35,448 --> 00:08:41,011
Mr. Green, I think you'll complement
Mrs. Taylor very nicely.
134
00:08:41,087 --> 00:08:44,682
I bet he knows nothing
about belt sanders.
135
00:08:45,291 --> 00:08:48,089
All right, everybody,
we're gonna be adding a few turns.
136
00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:50,958
Now, Mrs. Taylor, watch closely.
137
00:08:59,238 --> 00:09:02,935
I'd like to see the guy
try that on a construction site.
138
00:09:04,510 --> 00:09:07,911
Now, this is what I call the Keeney flair.
139
00:09:11,651 --> 00:09:13,915
Well...
140
00:09:13,986 --> 00:09:17,478
I sometimes get carried away.
141
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:20,754
- Now, Mrs Taylor, you try.
- Oh, I didn't get that last part.
142
00:09:20,826 --> 00:09:23,056
Oh, well, try.
143
00:09:23,129 --> 00:09:25,290
Here we go.
144
00:09:28,334 --> 00:09:30,325
Loosen up, Mrs. Taylor.
145
00:09:31,103 --> 00:09:33,936
Keep your eyes locked on your partner.
146
00:09:34,006 --> 00:09:36,270
Foreheads together.
147
00:09:37,643 --> 00:09:40,874
This is what I call the love focus.
148
00:09:42,715 --> 00:09:46,242
I can't believe I paid 20 bucks to have
some other guy dance with my wife.
149
00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:51,279
Hey, I'd pay him 30 to dance with my wife.
Let him get the razor burns.
150
00:09:52,625 --> 00:09:56,322
Mr. Green, more flair, more panache.
151
00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:02,423
What are you doing?
152
00:10:02,501 --> 00:10:05,231
- Flairing, panaching!
- Well, stop it.
153
00:10:06,138 --> 00:10:09,801
Mr. Taylor. Mr. Taylor,
would you come out here, please?
154
00:10:09,875 --> 00:10:11,809
- Me?
- Yes.
155
00:10:11,877 --> 00:10:14,573
- You seem to be enjoying yourself.
- Totally, babe.
156
00:10:14,647 --> 00:10:20,244
Well, why don't we put
all of our creative energies to good use?
157
00:10:20,319 --> 00:10:22,753
And refinish the floor.
158
00:10:23,556 --> 00:10:25,854
- No. Let's use our imagination.
- All right.
159
00:10:25,925 --> 00:10:29,088
- We're in New York.
- Give me your wallet.
160
00:10:34,867 --> 00:10:38,394
We're in the Stork Club, 1957.
161
00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:40,632
(ballroom music)
162
00:10:41,507 --> 00:10:47,241
The band begins to play a cha-cha
and we see each other across the room.
163
00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:49,713
- Our eyes lock.
- Argh!
164
00:10:50,783 --> 00:10:55,243
The band begins to play
a dance of passion.
165
00:10:58,591 --> 00:11:02,220
- Oh, the mating ritual begins.
- Lady, lady, lady.
166
00:11:02,294 --> 00:11:04,285
I've got a wife, you know.
167
00:11:04,363 --> 00:11:07,491
In 1957, you had no wife.
168
00:11:07,566 --> 00:11:10,126
Now, let yourself go, Mr. Taylor.
169
00:11:10,202 --> 00:11:14,070
- Don't be a prisoner of your body.
- Free me, warden. I'm on parole!
170
00:11:14,140 --> 00:11:15,664
Let's show 'em.
171
00:11:15,741 --> 00:11:18,232
Let's show the class those turns.
172
00:11:19,145 --> 00:11:21,670
Oh, with lots of speed
173
00:11:21,747 --> 00:11:23,715
and lots of flair.
174
00:11:23,783 --> 00:11:26,650
Oh, spin me, Mr. Taylor!
175
00:11:26,719 --> 00:11:29,745
Really spin me!
176
00:11:29,822 --> 00:11:31,790
(screaming)
177
00:11:31,857 --> 00:11:34,257
(crashes into piano)
178
00:11:37,229 --> 00:11:38,924
Call 911.
179
00:11:45,171 --> 00:11:47,537
Mark, did you tie his shoelaces together?
180
00:11:47,606 --> 00:11:49,870
He doesn't have any.
181
00:11:50,776 --> 00:11:52,937
Forget it.
182
00:12:00,186 --> 00:12:02,654
Put some in his other hand.
183
00:12:22,441 --> 00:12:25,239
Oh, you thought you'd get me, huh?
184
00:12:29,081 --> 00:12:32,107
I can't believe it.
This worked great on Dad.
185
00:12:32,184 --> 00:12:34,516
- I know. He told me.
- (door shuts)
186
00:12:35,654 --> 00:12:36,746
- Quick, quick.
- Mom and Dad are home.
187
00:12:36,822 --> 00:12:38,414
Run up...
Get ready for...
188
00:12:38,491 --> 00:12:43,190
Get ready for bed, quick!
All right. Wash your faces.
189
00:12:44,396 --> 00:12:47,092
- Hi, Al. How were the kids?
- Great, great.
190
00:12:47,166 --> 00:12:49,760
And how was
the first ballroom dancing class?
191
00:12:49,835 --> 00:12:53,896
- It went pretty good.
- Oh, pretty good! It was a disaster.
192
00:12:53,973 --> 00:12:56,601
He threw the teacher across the room.
193
00:12:57,510 --> 00:12:59,034
- You did?
- Not.
194
00:12:59,111 --> 00:13:01,636
She said, "Spin me. Spin me."
195
00:13:03,115 --> 00:13:07,484
You'd think a former June Taylor Dancer
could take a fall better than that.
196
00:13:07,553 --> 00:13:11,751
Well, she might have been able to
if she hadn't caught her chin on the piano.
197
00:13:12,424 --> 00:13:16,053
Well, I'm still free
for tomorrow night for lesson number two.
198
00:13:16,128 --> 00:13:18,358
I don't think so, Al.
199
00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:21,930
After she regained consciousness,
200
00:13:22,001 --> 00:13:25,835
Mrs. Keeney gave our description
to the security guard.
201
00:13:26,272 --> 00:13:31,232
She was so woozy she described us
as an elderly Japanese couple.
202
00:13:32,511 --> 00:13:36,242
Well, if I leave right now,
I can still make second session of bingo.
203
00:13:36,315 --> 00:13:37,509
- Thank you, Al.
- OK.
204
00:13:37,583 --> 00:13:39,448
You don't want to miss that.
Hurry up, Al, hurry.
205
00:13:39,518 --> 00:13:41,179
- Bye-bye.
- I'll see you at work tomorrow.
206
00:13:41,253 --> 00:13:43,278
See you, buddy.
207
00:13:44,190 --> 00:13:45,782
There's other dance studios
we can go to, you know.
208
00:13:45,858 --> 00:13:49,988
You know, you always do this. You always
ridicule everything that is important to me.
209
00:13:50,062 --> 00:13:52,656
No, I don't. I was just trying to make your
gift as special as the steer... steer...
210
00:13:52,731 --> 00:13:55,894
The steer. A steer.
What a gift that would be. A steer.
211
00:13:55,968 --> 00:14:01,907
You could have a steer out there,
get beef and milk out of the same animal.
212
00:14:01,974 --> 00:14:03,839
- You snooped.
- I did not.
213
00:14:03,909 --> 00:14:06,400
You snooped around
and found the steering wheel.
214
00:14:06,478 --> 00:14:08,241
It's not like you hid it very well.
You put it in the broom closet.
215
00:14:08,314 --> 00:14:10,714
When was the last time
you used the broom?
216
00:14:10,783 --> 00:14:13,946
- Thank you for ruining both gifts.
- I love the steering wheel.
217
00:14:14,019 --> 00:14:17,477
Exactly, which is why I would have liked
to have seen you open it.
218
00:14:17,556 --> 00:14:19,581
We can still go dancing
Saturday at Excalibur.
219
00:14:19,658 --> 00:14:23,651
No way I'm gonna go dancing with a man
who can't even make it through one lesson.
220
00:14:23,729 --> 00:14:26,459
Yeah, but give me credit.
The ballroom dancing idea was good.
221
00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:28,830
Oh, I bet that wasn't even your idea.
I bet the kids thought of it, right?
222
00:14:28,901 --> 00:14:31,495
No. The amount you've been nagging me
about..."Nag" is the wrong word.
223
00:14:31,570 --> 00:14:34,801
"Nag" is the wrong word.
It's the wrong word!
224
00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:40,244
I can dance. I've got flair.
I've got panache, just like Mr. Green.
225
00:14:43,148 --> 00:14:45,582
And the Binford power roofing nail gun
is my favorite,
226
00:14:45,651 --> 00:14:49,314
because the new magazine
holds 120 roofing nails.
227
00:14:49,388 --> 00:14:51,788
It's enough for a bushel of shingles.
228
00:14:51,857 --> 00:14:54,724
- (nail fires)
- (man) Oh!
229
00:14:55,794 --> 00:14:59,389
Available at fine hardware stores
everywhere.
230
00:14:59,465 --> 00:15:01,262
Mark, get a claw hammer,
get that out of your thigh.
231
00:15:01,333 --> 00:15:04,166
- Get some salve on it.
- (Al) Tim.
232
00:15:04,236 --> 00:15:08,502
And if it doesn't say Binford on it,
somebody else makes it.
233
00:15:14,446 --> 00:15:16,437
(Al) Time now for our next project.
234
00:15:16,515 --> 00:15:19,382
All right, before we get to our next project,
we have a special guest.
235
00:15:19,451 --> 00:15:21,715
Jerry Hobert's here
from the Village Association
236
00:15:21,787 --> 00:15:24,756
to give me a certificate of appreciation.
237
00:15:24,823 --> 00:15:27,724
- You?
- Is there an echo in here? Yes, me.
238
00:15:27,793 --> 00:15:33,789
Let's bring Jerry out here with a big Tool
Time welcome. Jerry Hobert, everybody.
239
00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:38,126
It's good to see you, Tim.
You know, I've never been on TV before.
240
00:15:38,203 --> 00:15:41,866
- Oh, anybody can do it.
- You should know.
241
00:15:42,341 --> 00:15:45,777
Well, Tim, on behalf of
the Detroit Area Homebuilders Association,
242
00:15:45,844 --> 00:15:48,438
I would like to present you
with this beautiful scroll.
243
00:15:48,514 --> 00:15:51,506
- Now, Al's name's on there, right?
- No, it's not.
244
00:15:51,583 --> 00:15:52,982
Oh.
245
00:15:53,052 --> 00:15:55,748
It's too bad, huh?
246
00:15:55,821 --> 00:15:59,348
Well, read it with a loud,
clear voice for us.
247
00:16:01,694 --> 00:16:06,222
(very loudly)
We award this certificate to Tim Taylor
248
00:16:06,298 --> 00:16:10,997
for his efforts to promote
safety at home and on the job.
249
00:16:11,070 --> 00:16:14,062
You're getting an award for safety?
250
00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:20,343
Yeah, I am, flannel boy.
You got a problem with that?
251
00:16:20,412 --> 00:16:21,401
Well, I guess they didn't see the show
252
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:23,414
where you fell through the roof
of the project house.
253
00:16:23,482 --> 00:16:24,710
Maybe they didn't, Al.
254
00:16:24,783 --> 00:16:26,182
Or the time
you glued your head to the table.
255
00:16:26,251 --> 00:16:27,650
Al!
256
00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:31,019
- Or the time when you stapled the...
- Jerry...
257
00:16:31,090 --> 00:16:33,217
Jerry, continue.
258
00:16:33,292 --> 00:16:37,558
Your clever staging
of realistic-looking accidents
259
00:16:37,629 --> 00:16:40,621
clearly shows viewers what not to do.
260
00:16:41,700 --> 00:16:44,794
- We salute you.
- (grunts)
261
00:16:53,645 --> 00:16:56,443
- Hey, Wilson.
- Hi-ho, neighbor.
262
00:16:58,317 --> 00:17:00,842
- Got one for you.
- Mm-hm.
263
00:17:00,919 --> 00:17:05,413
How much wood could a Wilson chop
if a Wilson could chop wood?
264
00:17:05,491 --> 00:17:07,254
He could cut a quarter
of a cord of conifer
265
00:17:07,326 --> 00:17:10,921
if you gave him a quarter
for every cord he cut.
266
00:17:12,965 --> 00:17:15,399
- You're good.
- Uh-huh.
267
00:17:15,467 --> 00:17:17,935
By the way, happy anniversary.
268
00:17:18,003 --> 00:17:20,631
Uh... not from Jill's point of view.
269
00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:22,196
Problem, Tim?
270
00:17:22,274 --> 00:17:25,004
The problem is I can't dance.
271
00:17:25,077 --> 00:17:27,238
I won't ask you.
272
00:17:29,248 --> 00:17:33,582
I got Jill kinda angry with me 'cause I was
goofing around at this dance class we took.
273
00:17:33,652 --> 00:17:37,679
Well, Tim, oftentimes
we mock that which we cannot do.
274
00:17:37,756 --> 00:17:39,781
I can't cha-cha.
275
00:17:39,858 --> 00:17:42,952
I was trying to figure out where to put my
hands and my feet and line everything up.
276
00:17:43,028 --> 00:17:45,690
And the next thing I know,
the instructor slides under a piano
277
00:17:45,764 --> 00:17:48,426
and her jaw is wired shut.
278
00:17:49,001 --> 00:17:51,094
I don't know that step.
279
00:17:51,170 --> 00:17:53,638
She didn't either.
280
00:17:53,705 --> 00:17:55,605
Whoa.
281
00:17:56,675 --> 00:18:00,634
Well, Tim, the problem is
you're just thinking too much.
282
00:18:00,712 --> 00:18:03,909
- Let's say you were a racecar driver...
- Oh.
283
00:18:03,982 --> 00:18:09,147
- And you're taking your turns at Indy.
- Indy, aaaaarrrgghhh!
284
00:18:09,221 --> 00:18:13,248
Passing Unser.
See you, buddy. Sucker! Aah!
285
00:18:13,325 --> 00:18:14,417
Ah, Tim, you're doing quite well.
286
00:18:14,493 --> 00:18:15,926
Yeah. Finish line's right up there,
checkered flag.
287
00:18:15,994 --> 00:18:17,859
- Don't look in the mirror.
- Aaaaarrrgghhh! Mirrors?
288
00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:19,921
- Forget about the minicam.
- Minicam's right back here.
289
00:18:19,998 --> 00:18:22,831
- Don't wave at the...
- Aah!
290
00:18:22,901 --> 00:18:26,530
- Uh-oh. You hit the wall.
- (makes car-passing noises)
291
00:18:26,605 --> 00:18:28,766
They're all passing me.
I was so close to it.
292
00:18:28,841 --> 00:18:31,674
Well, Tim, you were doing fine when
you weren't thinking about the minicam
293
00:18:31,743 --> 00:18:34,075
or the mirrors and such.
294
00:18:34,146 --> 00:18:36,979
You were going on instinct.
You were one with the car.
295
00:18:37,049 --> 00:18:40,780
- You were Zenlike.
- I was Zenlike.
296
00:18:40,853 --> 00:18:43,447
I never met Zen. What was he like?
297
00:18:44,356 --> 00:18:47,792
No, no, no, Tim. Zen is a state of mind.
Like when you dance,
298
00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:50,385
you can't worry about what your hands
and your feet are doing.
299
00:18:50,462 --> 00:18:54,057
You just have to let the music envelop you.
That's what I do.
300
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:58,467
Right, left, cha-cha-cha.
Left, right, cha-cha-cha.
301
00:18:58,704 --> 00:19:02,834
Right, left, cha-cha-cha.
Left, right, cha-cha-cha.
302
00:19:02,908 --> 00:19:04,375
Work with me, Tim.
303
00:19:04,443 --> 00:19:08,777
Right, left, cha-cha-cha.
Right, left, cha-cha-cha.
304
00:19:08,847 --> 00:19:10,815
One, two, three, cha-cha-cha.
I think I got it, I got it.
305
00:19:10,883 --> 00:19:13,716
All right, Tim.
We're gonna do a turn. Let yourself go.
306
00:19:13,785 --> 00:19:18,654
Right, left, cha-cha-cha.
Left, right, cha-cha-cha.
307
00:19:18,724 --> 00:19:21,454
Wilson, I think... I think I've got it!
308
00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:26,226
Come on, Jill, hurry up. Are you still mad?
Are you going to dinner with me?
309
00:19:26,298 --> 00:19:29,597
Yes, of course I'm going to dinner with you.
I'm not mad.
310
00:19:29,668 --> 00:19:32,296
8:00 reservations.
We still have to exchange gifts.
311
00:19:32,371 --> 00:19:34,931
- How about, "You look pretty"?
- Thanks.
312
00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:39,239
I changed my hair. I'm using that raspberry
mousse of yours. It's very fragrant.
313
00:19:39,311 --> 00:19:42,838
- Where's my gift?
- Close your eyes. Shut your mouth.
314
00:19:42,915 --> 00:19:47,614
Now, I just know
you're gonna be so surprised about this.
315
00:19:47,686 --> 00:19:49,483
- Ta-da!
- Oh!
316
00:19:49,555 --> 00:19:52,524
This is great. This is great.
317
00:19:52,591 --> 00:19:53,888
Oh, wow!
318
00:19:53,959 --> 00:19:58,760
What a pretty sweater.
You have such good taste.
319
00:19:58,830 --> 00:20:00,525
- Happy anniversary.
- Happy anniversary.
320
00:20:00,599 --> 00:20:02,590
I love you and I love this
and thanks for thinking about me.
321
00:20:02,668 --> 00:20:05,398
I love you.
322
00:20:05,470 --> 00:20:07,904
Well, enough of that. OK.
323
00:20:07,973 --> 00:20:11,739
Now, did you give Al enough money
to get the kids popcorn at the movies?
324
00:20:11,810 --> 00:20:15,803
Yeah. He wanted some extra
for Milk Duds for himself.
325
00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:17,644
Did you give him the number
at Chez Pierre?
326
00:20:17,716 --> 00:20:19,946
We're not going to Chez Pierre.
We're going to the Excalibur.
327
00:20:20,018 --> 00:20:22,680
Oh, honey, you were supposed
to cancel those reservations.
328
00:20:22,754 --> 00:20:25,154
That's when you didn't like
dancing with me.
329
00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:28,990
I don't want to hurt your feelings,
but I still don't want to dance with you.
330
00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:34,158
- I'd hold that opinion if I were you.
- (ballroom music)
331
00:20:44,309 --> 00:20:46,675
What is this?
332
00:20:53,485 --> 00:20:55,214
(Jill laughs)
333
00:20:56,221 --> 00:20:58,246
Wow!
334
00:21:00,125 --> 00:21:02,320
Wow!
335
00:21:02,394 --> 00:21:05,454
What happened? Two days ago,
all you could do was disco.
336
00:21:05,530 --> 00:21:07,498
I met a man named Zen.
337
00:21:07,566 --> 00:21:10,000
If you think you can keep up,
please join in.
338
00:21:10,068 --> 00:21:12,059
OK.
339
00:21:18,910 --> 00:21:20,741
Huh.
340
00:21:26,051 --> 00:21:28,212
(grunts)
341
00:21:30,222 --> 00:21:34,022
- Shall we do the Momo step?
- Do the Momo step.
342
00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:37,220
- You like this thing, don't you?
- I love this thing.
343
00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:40,993
I bought it
on your cha-cha-charge account.
344
00:21:42,234 --> 00:21:44,395
(makes car noise)
345
00:21:46,672 --> 00:21:48,469
Try to picture yourself...
346
00:21:48,540 --> 00:21:52,101
1993, it's the Motor City.
347
00:21:52,678 --> 00:21:56,239
We lock eyes across
a huge hardware store.
348
00:22:05,123 --> 00:22:07,455
The love focus.
349
00:22:21,540 --> 00:22:23,064
So...
350
00:22:23,141 --> 00:22:24,665
honey...
351
00:22:24,743 --> 00:22:27,837
You were so amazing last night.
352
00:22:27,913 --> 00:22:30,882
- On the dance floor.
- On the dance floor?
353
00:22:31,783 --> 00:22:34,843
I especially liked
this tablecloth thing you did.
354
00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:39,482
- It was cool, wasn't it?
- Yes. It was so sexy when you...
355
00:22:44,963 --> 00:22:47,295
How did you do that?
356
00:22:50,235 --> 00:22:54,672
(Jill) Brad! The bus is here
and you still have to brush your teeth and...
357
00:22:54,740 --> 00:22:57,004
And, uh...
358
00:22:57,075 --> 00:22:59,236
(laughter)
359
00:23:01,747 --> 00:23:04,545
Ooh. The wheels fell off
of that one real quick.
360
00:23:04,783 --> 00:23:06,273
Once you find out what I've bought you,
361
00:23:06,351 --> 00:23:10,788
you're gonna want to fill my head
with cannon balls and powder my behind.
362
00:23:18,563 --> 00:23:21,327
(Jill) Could you say that again?
363
00:23:25,704 --> 00:23:26,898
I'm OK.