1
00:00:03,970 --> 00:00:05,801
OK, all right, all right.

2
00:00:05,872 --> 00:00:08,204
The moment has arrived. Here we go.

3
00:00:08,274 --> 00:00:11,675
See if we can start this thing.
All right? Clear? Everybody?

4
00:00:12,979 --> 00:00:14,173
<i>(engine turns over)</i>

5
00:00:14,247 --> 00:00:16,306
Yeah, yeah, yeah!

6
00:00:16,383 --> 00:00:18,578
Come on! Come on!

7
00:00:18,651 --> 00:00:20,312
Daah.

8
00:00:20,387 --> 00:00:23,379
Boy. Listen to that baby purr.

9
00:00:26,659 --> 00:00:29,184
- Dad... what did we do wrong?
- I don't know.

10
00:00:29,262 --> 00:00:32,163
Could be ignition, could be distributor,
could be spark plugs.

11
00:00:32,232 --> 00:00:34,496
Could be you.

12
00:00:35,602 --> 00:00:38,867
Ease up, wing nut. Look.

13
00:00:38,938 --> 00:00:42,032
Clean up some of these tools. I'm gonna
take a break and think about this.

14
00:00:49,916 --> 00:00:52,942
Tim! <i>(bangs on door)</i>

15
00:00:53,019 --> 00:00:53,917
Come on in.

16
00:00:53,987 --> 00:00:57,514
I can't. The doorknob's still broken
and you didn't fix it.

17
00:00:57,590 --> 00:01:00,889
- It's not broken. Lift it up to the right.
- <i>(clunk)</i>

18
00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:05,693
Now, left, left. Up left.
Pull it a little bit and twist down on it.

19
00:01:05,765 --> 00:01:08,131
You gotta push a little,
push a little bit with it.

20
00:01:08,201 --> 00:01:11,034
- You said "pull."
- It's not brok...

21
00:01:11,104 --> 00:01:13,766
Well, now you broke it.

22
00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:16,468
You promised me
you were gonna fix that thing.

23
00:01:16,543 --> 00:01:22,209
- I got my belt out, I'm half-done.
- That's you, Tim. You're always half-done.

24
00:01:22,282 --> 00:01:26,082
- We had three kids, didn't we?
- We planned on six.

25
00:01:26,653 --> 00:01:28,746
Hey, where are you going
with the doorknob? You gotta...

26
00:01:28,822 --> 00:01:32,986
- Oh. You want to go outside? Here.
- You are so pathetic.

27
00:01:33,059 --> 00:01:38,725
Look, look. This is you
doing household repairs.

28
00:01:40,467 --> 00:01:42,560
<i>(grunts)</i>

29
00:01:43,570 --> 00:01:45,765
You got a tool belt on,
put a little more beef in that grunt.

30
00:01:45,839 --> 00:01:47,704
<i>(deeper grunt)</i>

31
00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:49,173
Better.

32
00:01:49,242 --> 00:01:53,144
All right. Jill asked me to fix that doorknob,
but before I do any actual work,

33
00:01:53,213 --> 00:01:58,207
I'd better stop and think about it
for a couple of hours.

34
00:02:03,456 --> 00:02:05,651
OK. Enough thinking. Now...

35
00:02:05,725 --> 00:02:07,556
Gotta run to the hardware store

36
00:02:07,627 --> 00:02:10,858
and buy hundreds of dollars' worth of tools
I don't need.

37
00:02:10,930 --> 00:02:12,795
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

38
00:02:12,866 --> 00:02:15,096
There's no such thing as
a tool I don't need.

39
00:02:15,168 --> 00:02:19,605
OK, Jill. I bought my new tools.

40
00:02:19,672 --> 00:02:24,041
<i>(falsetto)</i> I can't believe
you bought another tool you don't need.

41
00:02:24,110 --> 00:02:27,409
But, before I work, I gotta clear my head.

42
00:02:28,281 --> 00:02:30,772
<i>(belches)</i>

43
00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:35,549
Boy, Tim,
I don't think I've ever wanted you more.

44
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:48,217
<i>(Jill)</i> Well, what do you think?
Could we put the kids in the middle?

45
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:57,764
- <i>(Mark)</i> Hey, gimme that!
- No!

46
00:03:57,837 --> 00:03:59,532
- I want it!
- Shut up!

47
00:03:59,606 --> 00:04:00,595
Give it back!

48
00:04:00,673 --> 00:04:03,141
Hey, hey, hey, I'm trying to work on
the engine out here. What's going on?

49
00:04:03,209 --> 00:04:06,576
Dad, tell Mark to keep his grubby hands
out of the Cocoa Busters.

50
00:04:06,646 --> 00:04:07,203
Mark!

51
00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:09,714
But I want the 3-D baseball cards.

52
00:04:09,782 --> 00:04:11,943
<i>(grunts)</i>

53
00:04:13,319 --> 00:04:16,379
- 3-D? I'll get 'em out of there.
- Dad, they're not in there.

54
00:04:16,456 --> 00:04:19,653
You have to eat eight boxes
and send in the proofs-of-purchase.

55
00:04:19,726 --> 00:04:22,991
For a normal family that would
pose a problem, but we're Taylors.

56
00:04:23,062 --> 00:04:25,895
Let's pig out. Open those hoods.

57
00:04:28,968 --> 00:04:30,833
Very classy.

58
00:04:30,903 --> 00:04:32,336
And the good news is, hon,

59
00:04:32,405 --> 00:04:35,340
they got 2% of our daily minimum
requirement of riboflavin.

60
00:04:35,408 --> 00:04:36,898
Whoa.

61
00:04:36,976 --> 00:04:40,571
Riboflavin. Can't get enough of that.

62
00:04:40,647 --> 00:04:44,913
Did you fix this burner over here
on the stove yet, honey?

63
00:04:44,984 --> 00:04:47,248
- I was just working on the gas line.
- Oh.

64
00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:50,255
Hey, Dad, I just hooked up the gas line
to the hot rod.

65
00:04:52,091 --> 00:04:54,116
- The hot rod?
- Yeah.

66
00:04:54,193 --> 00:04:56,718
Get your brothers, get upstairs,
get ready for school.

67
00:04:56,796 --> 00:04:58,127
Tim!

68
00:04:58,197 --> 00:05:00,927
- I just haven't finished it yet.
- You haven't started.

69
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:03,093
What about the ice dispenser?

70
00:05:03,169 --> 00:05:05,501
- It's fine.
- Yeah. Fine.

71
00:05:05,571 --> 00:05:07,801
It doesn't make ice, doesn't dispense.

72
00:05:07,874 --> 00:05:10,240
<i>(clunking noise)</i>

73
00:05:11,244 --> 00:05:15,476
You're not doing it right.
You ease it in there.

74
00:05:15,548 --> 00:05:18,312
Two little taps here.

75
00:05:21,087 --> 00:05:26,081
I see. So, to fill the glass, I just have
to do that, like, what, 60 or 70 times?

76
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:29,720
There's a little sprocket missing. I'll get
it at the hardware store this afternoon.

77
00:05:29,796 --> 00:05:31,957
After I finish the motor.

78
00:05:32,031 --> 00:05:34,932
- Tim, you know what your problem is?
- I think it's ignition.

79
00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:36,127
No.

80
00:05:36,202 --> 00:05:39,638
Your problem is if a job isn't fun,
or you can't power it up,

81
00:05:39,706 --> 00:05:41,230
you're not interested in doing it.

82
00:05:41,307 --> 00:05:43,775
Honey, I've been trying to get this thing
going for 18 months.

83
00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:45,834
I know, you've been spending
every spare moment.

84
00:05:45,912 --> 00:05:49,939
I think the time is near.
This beast is ready to roar.

85
00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:52,541
So is this one.

86
00:05:52,618 --> 00:05:57,988
I tell you what. <i>I</i> am going to fix the stove
and <i>I</i> will fix the ice dispenser.

87
00:05:58,057 --> 00:06:00,855
- You are so cute.
- What? You don't think I can do it?

88
00:06:00,927 --> 00:06:02,417
No, I have a lot of faith.

89
00:06:02,495 --> 00:06:06,454
Lot of faith in a woman who uses tool terms
like "whatchamacallit," "thingamajig"

90
00:06:06,532 --> 00:06:09,365
and my personal favorite, "doohickey."

91
00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:13,096
OK. I tell you what.
You don't want me to do the jobs?

92
00:06:13,172 --> 00:06:15,504
When are <i>you</i> going to
fix the ice dispenser?

93
00:06:15,575 --> 00:06:16,064
Soon.

94
00:06:16,142 --> 00:06:17,871
- When are you gonna fix the burner?
- Soon.

95
00:06:17,944 --> 00:06:21,209
- When, Tim? When?
- Soon, Jill, soon.

96
00:06:22,315 --> 00:06:24,545
So, what? You're just gonna wait
until the burner backs up

97
00:06:24,617 --> 00:06:26,312
and the whole house explodes?

98
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:29,014
We've survived explosions before, huh?

99
00:06:40,566 --> 00:06:42,796
<i>(mouths)</i>

100
00:06:42,869 --> 00:06:46,236
Hi, welcome to <i>Tool Time</i> Boy, this is one
of our favorite weeks of the year. Right, Al?

101
00:06:46,305 --> 00:06:52,301
That's right, Tim. It's our annual
Lawn Care Week, right here on <i>Tool Time</i>

102
00:06:54,013 --> 00:06:57,540
And, you know, you're judged
by the lawn you keep.

103
00:06:57,617 --> 00:06:59,414
Guys, we want people
driving by our house and going:

104
00:06:59,485 --> 00:07:02,352
"Hey. There's a nice lawn.
A real man lives there."

105
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:05,016
But the women don't seem to care.
They just drop their ThighMasters and go:

106
00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:08,083
"Hey, get out there
and cut the grass, will ya?"

107
00:07:09,028 --> 00:07:12,486
'Cause women don't understand.
We do not "cut the grass."

108
00:07:12,565 --> 00:07:14,931
We mow the lawn.

109
00:07:15,001 --> 00:07:18,459
We feed it, we pamper it, we nurture it.

110
00:07:18,538 --> 00:07:21,473
We caress it.

111
00:07:22,141 --> 00:07:23,972
Al. <i>(whistles)</i> Al.

112
00:07:28,347 --> 00:07:31,908
It's a piece of sod.
You're not on shore leave, fella.

113
00:07:32,752 --> 00:07:38,088
Well, as you can see, we have several
types of grass here for you to consider.

114
00:07:38,157 --> 00:07:40,250
- Bermuda.
- Beautiful for shade.

115
00:07:40,693 --> 00:07:43,662
- Kentucky bluegrass.
- Thick and robust.

116
00:07:43,729 --> 00:07:46,163
And regular fescue.

117
00:07:46,232 --> 00:07:52,000
Do you suppose if this grass had
an emergency, it'd call "Fescue, 911?"

118
00:07:54,540 --> 00:07:56,872
My guess would be "no."

119
00:07:57,810 --> 00:08:00,506
Why don't we tell the folks what we have
coming up on Lawn Care Week.

120
00:08:00,580 --> 00:08:02,844
Well, Tim, tomorrow,
we'll be doing our salute...

121
00:08:02,915 --> 00:08:04,041
<i>(cutting noise)</i>

122
00:08:04,116 --> 00:08:05,981
...to clippers.

123
00:08:06,052 --> 00:08:07,849
On Wednesday, we'll be doing our salute...

124
00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:08,944
<i>(chh-chh-chh-chh)</i>

125
00:08:09,021 --> 00:08:10,852
...to sprinklers.

126
00:08:10,923 --> 00:08:14,017
- But today, we're doing our salute...
- <i>(moo)</i>

127
00:08:14,093 --> 00:08:16,254
...to fertilizer.

128
00:08:19,966 --> 00:08:23,629
We salute cow dung today, because
it's a major component in all fertilizers.

129
00:08:23,703 --> 00:08:26,069
And cow dung helps keep your lawn
healthy and vibrant.

130
00:08:26,138 --> 00:08:29,369
- Al? Take over, I'll be right back.
- Uh, that's right, folks.

131
00:08:29,442 --> 00:08:33,071
So, as you can see, we have many
different types of fertilizer for you

132
00:08:33,145 --> 00:08:36,012
and I'm sure your local nursery
will be able to help you

133
00:08:36,082 --> 00:08:38,448
choose the fertilizer
for your particular needs.

134
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:41,783
Or you can... cut out the middleman, Al,

135
00:08:41,854 --> 00:08:44,049
and go right to the source.

136
00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:53,992
<i>(cheers and applause)</i>

137
00:08:56,269 --> 00:08:59,796
"Open and close the shutter
by twisting the air shutter screw."

138
00:08:59,872 --> 00:09:02,932
Well, how am I supposed to open
and shut it if I don't know what it is?

139
00:09:03,009 --> 00:09:06,035
This can't be the air shutter thing here
because there's no screw in it.

140
00:09:06,112 --> 00:09:10,378
I'm home, guys. Think I got the right
parts for the rod. What are you doing?

141
00:09:10,449 --> 00:09:14,146
I got tired of nagging you to fix it
so I'm gonna fix it myself.

142
00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:15,983
Honey, you don't know what you're doing.
You're making a mess.

143
00:09:16,055 --> 00:09:19,320
- You're gonna wreck this thing.
- Nag, nag, nag.

144
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:20,723
Phew.

145
00:09:20,793 --> 00:09:23,660
Dad, you stink. Light a match, huh?

146
00:09:28,668 --> 00:09:31,831
It's not me, wise guy, we did a little salute
to fertilizer on <i>Tool Time</i>

147
00:09:31,904 --> 00:09:34,338
I got to ride a cow.

148
00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:37,001
Why? Was the pig in the shop?

149
00:09:39,779 --> 00:09:42,976
Maybe it was in
for its 20,000-oink checkup.

150
00:09:44,016 --> 00:09:47,850
Or it was having its <i>porking</i> brake fixed.

151
00:09:49,789 --> 00:09:52,155
<i>(laughing)</i>

152
00:09:53,159 --> 00:09:56,322
Is there a two-drink minimum in here?

153
00:09:57,630 --> 00:09:59,325
Honey, go on upstairs and wash up,

154
00:09:59,398 --> 00:10:03,494
'cause at 6:00 on TV they're showing
<i>Porky and Bess</i>

155
00:10:03,569 --> 00:10:05,730
- Thanks.
- Later.

156
00:10:06,806 --> 00:10:08,967
<i>(scoffs)</i> What is this?

157
00:10:09,041 --> 00:10:11,601
I made a tool belt.

158
00:10:12,078 --> 00:10:16,777
No, no, no. A man's tools do not sit
next to frills and flowers.

159
00:10:16,849 --> 00:10:19,477
- Do you see any frills on this apron?
- What is that?

160
00:10:19,552 --> 00:10:20,985
- A flower.
- Great.

161
00:10:21,053 --> 00:10:23,783
Can I borrow that? I'd like to
take that down to a construction site.

162
00:10:23,856 --> 00:10:26,256
"Hey, Tim, I love the frills and flowers
on that belt."

163
00:10:26,325 --> 00:10:31,388
"You know, those tulips
really bring out the blue in your eyes."

164
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:32,726
This would have been
a real simple project,

165
00:10:32,798 --> 00:10:35,028
now you screwed up,
it'll take me three times as long.

166
00:10:35,101 --> 00:10:36,090
Cry me a river!

167
00:10:36,168 --> 00:10:39,865
If you'd fixed this in the first place,
we wouldn't have this problem, would we?

168
00:10:39,939 --> 00:10:41,804
So, it's my fault that you screwed it up?

169
00:10:41,874 --> 00:10:47,244
Hey, this is no more screwed up
than it was before you didn't fix it.

170
00:10:48,581 --> 00:10:52,745
I really want to argue with that,
but I have no idea what you just said to me.

171
00:10:52,818 --> 00:10:56,845
- I'm gonna just call a repairman.
- Don't call a repairman. I'll fix it.

172
00:10:56,922 --> 00:10:58,685
- I am calling a repairman.
- Jill...

173
00:10:58,758 --> 00:11:00,282
I'm going to request a big tall hunk

174
00:11:00,359 --> 00:11:05,194
with tight jeans and the sleeves
torn off his T-shirt.

175
00:11:05,264 --> 00:11:11,066
Don't bother. After dinner, I'll get all buffed
up, put on my tool belt, rip off my sleeves

176
00:11:11,137 --> 00:11:15,471
and you and I can play
"Buck and Betsy fix the stove."

177
00:11:16,409 --> 00:11:19,537
So, are Buck and Betsy
gonna fix the ice dispenser too?

178
00:11:19,612 --> 00:11:22,479
There's nothing wrong
with the ice dispenser.

179
00:11:22,548 --> 00:11:25,278
Set the glass, ease it in. Hit it.

180
00:11:34,427 --> 00:11:35,553
<i>(Jill)</i> How's it going, Gus?

181
00:11:35,628 --> 00:11:39,621
Just fine. I'll be done with the stove
in a jiffy. Then I'll get the ice dispenser.

182
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:44,636
Ice! I'll have ice.
Little frozen cubes of water.

183
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:48,333
- I've waited so long. Thank you, Gus.
- My pleasure.

184
00:11:48,407 --> 00:11:51,240
I could clean out these ignition holes
in the burner if you have a pipe cleaner.

185
00:11:51,310 --> 00:11:53,403
Yeah, I got some in the garage.
I'll be right back.

186
00:11:53,479 --> 00:11:55,709
- <i>(Tim)</i> Honey, I'm home.
- Hi!

187
00:11:55,781 --> 00:11:59,478
- So, how was your day?
- Fine, thanks for asking.

188
00:12:00,386 --> 00:12:02,980
Jill, the mustache is different.

189
00:12:04,223 --> 00:12:07,420
Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor.
You're even funny without Al.

190
00:12:07,493 --> 00:12:10,087
<i>(fakes laugh)</i>

191
00:12:11,097 --> 00:12:15,261
I see you met Gus. Here you go.
Gus is almost finished repairing the stove.

192
00:12:15,334 --> 00:12:16,767
<i>(teeth gritted)</i>
You hired a repairman.

193
00:12:16,836 --> 00:12:18,133
Yes. I did.

194
00:12:18,204 --> 00:12:21,469
I hope my work gets
the Tim Taylor seal of approval.

195
00:12:21,540 --> 00:12:23,064
Well, let's see what you did.

196
00:12:23,142 --> 00:12:26,111
OK. I adjusted the screws on the gas line,

197
00:12:26,178 --> 00:12:28,009
checked the electronic ignition switch

198
00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:29,809
and replaced the burner manifold
assembly.

199
00:12:29,882 --> 00:12:32,373
Yeah, just what I woulda done.

200
00:12:36,122 --> 00:12:37,919
Wait till all the guys down at the shop hear

201
00:12:37,990 --> 00:12:41,824
that Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor
needed me to do his household repairs.

202
00:12:41,894 --> 00:12:43,862
You don't really need
to spread that around.

203
00:12:43,929 --> 00:12:46,659
Are you kidding?
I'm gonna tell everyone I know.

204
00:12:46,732 --> 00:12:50,600
Jill, can I speak to you in the garage
just for a moment? Excuse us, Gus.

205
00:12:50,669 --> 00:12:52,569
Excuse us.

206
00:12:54,306 --> 00:12:56,399
How'd you find him? How do you know
what kind of quality work he does?

207
00:12:56,475 --> 00:12:57,271
What do you know about the guy?

208
00:12:57,343 --> 00:13:00,835
That's why I called Al.
He recommended him very highly.

209
00:13:00,913 --> 00:13:02,278
What?

210
00:13:02,348 --> 00:13:05,010
You told Al I needed a repairman
in my own home?

211
00:13:05,084 --> 00:13:07,609
Well, he didn't laugh <i>that</i> long.

212
00:13:09,188 --> 00:13:11,156
He's gonna blab it all over <i>Tool Time</i>

213
00:13:11,223 --> 00:13:13,214
What am I supposed to say
to my die-hard fans?

214
00:13:13,292 --> 00:13:18,491
Put them both in the front seat of the car
and tell them the truth.

215
00:13:21,066 --> 00:13:23,534
Mrs. Taylor, I've g...

216
00:13:23,602 --> 00:13:26,036
Whoa.

217
00:13:26,105 --> 00:13:28,505
- Are you building this?
- Yeah.

218
00:13:28,574 --> 00:13:30,769
Come on, Gus. Let's go back
and get this ice dispenser done now.

219
00:13:30,843 --> 00:13:33,505
Yeah, in a minute, Mrs. Taylor.

220
00:13:34,446 --> 00:13:38,678
- Are those Harley carbs?
- Yeah. You into rods?

221
00:13:38,751 --> 00:13:41,242
- I'm building a Vicky in my backyard.
- No kidding.

222
00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:44,721
Yeah, this is a Chevy 350. I bored it
out to 383. I got a 400 crank in there.

223
00:13:44,790 --> 00:13:45,779
Wow.

224
00:13:45,858 --> 00:13:48,326
<i>(loudly)</i> Isn't that fascinating?

225
00:13:48,394 --> 00:13:51,124
Come on, Gus. Let's go get to work
on that freezer now, all right?

226
00:13:51,197 --> 00:13:54,132
Yeah, in a minute. You must be
close to getting this started, huh?

227
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:56,896
Actually, I did. I gapped my plugs
different than I was supposed to

228
00:13:56,969 --> 00:13:59,301
and I put a new curb on the distributor,
but I can't get it turned over right.

229
00:13:59,371 --> 00:14:01,271
- I can't get it turned over right.
- Let me hear it. Let me hear.

230
00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:03,570
- Really?
- Yeah.

231
00:14:03,642 --> 00:14:05,735
<i>(engine turns over)</i>

232
00:14:06,879 --> 00:14:10,212
You might have your ignition switch wires
on backwards.

233
00:14:10,282 --> 00:14:13,115
Wh... Yeah. Never thought of that.
Maybe I do.

234
00:14:13,185 --> 00:14:14,982
- Well, here, I'll give you a hand.
- All right!

235
00:14:15,054 --> 00:14:17,318
Gus, Gus, Gus! Gus!

236
00:14:17,389 --> 00:14:19,789
No, don't worry, Mrs. Taylor.
I'm taking you off the clock.

237
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:22,953
There you go, hon.

238
00:14:25,564 --> 00:14:27,657
<i>(slams)</i>

239
00:14:29,602 --> 00:14:33,038
- How long you had that Vicky?
- Two years.

240
00:14:36,408 --> 00:14:38,603
- Hi, Wilson.
- Hi-ho, Tim.

241
00:14:38,677 --> 00:14:41,441
You know, I just saw a repair truck
pull away. You got problems?

242
00:14:41,513 --> 00:14:45,005
No. Jill called a repairman
to fix the stove and the ice dispenser.

243
00:14:45,084 --> 00:14:46,813
Mm. Mm-hm.

244
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:50,185
Hey, I could've fixed both of them,
but I just found out about the ice dispenser.

245
00:14:50,256 --> 00:14:54,454
I thought you had mentioned that
faulty ice dispenser to me three weeks ago.

246
00:14:54,526 --> 00:14:58,360
Gee whiz, Wilson,
you don't have to jump all over me.

247
00:14:58,430 --> 00:15:00,057
Well, I'm sorry, Tim.

248
00:15:00,132 --> 00:15:04,159
The repairman didn't even fix the stove.
I got him kind of sidetracked on the hot rod.

249
00:15:04,236 --> 00:15:06,227
Lot of good that did.
I still can't start the thing.

250
00:15:06,305 --> 00:15:07,670
Mm-hm. Mm-hm.

251
00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:10,607
- Jill said I was being irresponsible.
- I see.

252
00:15:10,676 --> 00:15:13,372
I'm not irresponsible.
I do a lot of chores around here.

253
00:15:13,445 --> 00:15:15,310
I help raise the kids.
I even cook dinner sometimes.

254
00:15:15,381 --> 00:15:17,906
- You know, I never get credit for that stuff.
- Why should you?

255
00:15:17,983 --> 00:15:20,417
Argh!

256
00:15:20,486 --> 00:15:22,283
All that stuff you're supposed to do anyway.

257
00:15:22,354 --> 00:15:23,582
Don't sneak up on me, please.

258
00:15:23,656 --> 00:15:27,922
Wilson, I've been trying to get him
to fix that stove for three and a half weeks.

259
00:15:27,993 --> 00:15:29,483
That's why I called the repairman.

260
00:15:29,561 --> 00:15:31,688
I was gonna do it, you just
didn't give me the time.

261
00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:33,857
Tim, you don't want me to nag you
about doing the jobs,

262
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:35,195
you don't want to do the jobs,

263
00:15:35,267 --> 00:15:39,363
you don't want me to call a repairman.
What am I supposed to do?

264
00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:42,464
Wilson, jump in any time.

265
00:15:42,541 --> 00:15:47,308
I'm here for you, Tim. But this time
you haven't got a leg to stand on.

266
00:15:47,379 --> 00:15:49,540
What is this? Gang up on Tim day?

267
00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:50,980
What is it with men, Wilson?

268
00:15:51,050 --> 00:15:54,281
You know, they'll spend hours
on an engine, putting up a satellite dish,

269
00:15:54,353 --> 00:15:57,754
but they won't take five minutes
and fix a simple little doorknob.

270
00:15:57,823 --> 00:16:00,951
Well, Jill, I find your question
astute and sagacious.

271
00:16:01,026 --> 00:16:03,426
Give it to her, Wilson.

272
00:16:03,495 --> 00:16:06,055
That's a compliment, Tim.

273
00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:07,462
See, Jill, historically,

274
00:16:07,533 --> 00:16:10,366
men have been drawn to the jobs
that bring them attention and glory,

275
00:16:10,436 --> 00:16:12,996
like discovering new lands
or winning wars.

276
00:16:13,072 --> 00:16:16,269
Women, however, have been expected
to work quietly and steadily

277
00:16:16,342 --> 00:16:17,400
to maintain the home.

278
00:16:17,476 --> 00:16:21,242
But that's a long time ago, Wilson.
I mean, times are changing.

279
00:16:21,313 --> 00:16:24,009
Women are working, men are staying
at home, both are working.

280
00:16:24,083 --> 00:16:25,448
Roles are reversing.

281
00:16:25,517 --> 00:16:28,418
Trenchant and perspicacious.

282
00:16:30,389 --> 00:16:33,756
Now, that can't possibly be a compliment.

283
00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:37,023
- I'm afraid so, Tim.
- Oh, you did it to me again.

284
00:16:37,096 --> 00:16:38,222
Thank you, Wilson.

285
00:16:38,297 --> 00:16:42,233
A wise man once said,
"Every job has one thing in common -

286
00:16:42,301 --> 00:16:45,532
it has to be done
and it has to be done well."

287
00:16:45,604 --> 00:16:48,630
- Well, that's kinda nice.
- Who said that?

288
00:16:48,707 --> 00:16:50,971
You did.

289
00:16:51,977 --> 00:16:55,674
<i>(deep voice)</i> I used to be
a pretty smart fella.

290
00:16:58,650 --> 00:17:02,347
Well, it took a while,
but these babies are sharp.

291
00:17:02,421 --> 00:17:07,120
Why, you could cut a lamb so close,
it'd have to join the Hair Club for Sheep.

292
00:17:08,227 --> 00:17:12,220
"I'm not just a sheep,
I'm also the president."

293
00:17:15,367 --> 00:17:18,666
I don't know, Tim. That was pretty baa-d.

294
00:17:23,809 --> 00:17:26,004
Actually though, when you do
sharpen these at home,

295
00:17:26,078 --> 00:17:29,570
it gives you a great deal of satisfaction,
but it also takes an awful lot of hard work.

296
00:17:29,648 --> 00:17:32,583
That's true. Which brings us
to the <i>Tool Time</i> tip of the day.

297
00:17:32,651 --> 00:17:34,642
Every job has one thing in common.

298
00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:37,245
It must be done, and it must be done well.

299
00:17:38,257 --> 00:17:43,923
- You know who said that, don't you?
- Yes, I do. I told you that last year.

300
00:17:45,330 --> 00:17:47,696
- You did not.
- Yes, I did.

301
00:17:47,766 --> 00:17:49,734
- No, you didn't.
- Yes, I did.

302
00:17:49,802 --> 00:17:50,734
- Did not.
- Did too.

303
00:17:50,803 --> 00:17:53,135
- Not.
- Did. Too.

304
00:17:55,174 --> 00:17:59,838
Remember, a real man
finishes any job he starts.

305
00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:02,210
Even if it may be tedious or have no glory.
Right, Al?

306
00:18:02,281 --> 00:18:05,182
That's true, Tim. Took me
almost a half hour to sharpen these

307
00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:10,051
so you could come out, file them
for ten seconds and take the credit.

308
00:18:12,157 --> 00:18:13,920
We have a very special guest
here on <i>Tool Time</i>

309
00:18:13,992 --> 00:18:16,517
And I expect a very big <i>Tool Time</i> welcome

310
00:18:16,595 --> 00:18:21,191
for hedge-clipping specialist Jim Lester.
Let's give it up.

311
00:18:22,234 --> 00:18:24,634
- Good to have you here, Jim.
- Good to be here, Tim.

312
00:18:24,703 --> 00:18:26,864
- Al.
- Jim.

313
00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:30,401
Thank you, Lisa.

314
00:18:30,509 --> 00:18:32,568
You're welcome, Tim.

315
00:18:37,316 --> 00:18:40,046
Anyway, Jim's gonna share
some trade secrets of hedge clipping.

316
00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:41,586
- Right, Jim?
- That's right, Tim.

317
00:18:41,653 --> 00:18:45,851
Now, I always use a string as a guide
to give the hedge a nice straight line.

318
00:18:45,924 --> 00:18:47,357
That's good advice. Good advice.

319
00:18:47,426 --> 00:18:48,984
And for that particular job,

320
00:18:49,061 --> 00:18:54,192
Jim would be using the Binford SHD 6500
hedge clippers.

321
00:18:54,266 --> 00:18:57,667
SHD. That's super-heavy-duty. <i>(grunts)</i>

322
00:18:58,670 --> 00:19:00,831
You know, there's a lot of creative ways
to trim your hedges.

323
00:19:00,906 --> 00:19:05,775
And Jim has been nice enough to bring out
some examples of his very nice work.

324
00:19:05,844 --> 00:19:07,505
Now, Tim, these are called topiaries.

325
00:19:07,579 --> 00:19:11,447
Each one takes hundreds of man-hours
to shape and cultivate,

326
00:19:11,517 --> 00:19:13,610
and up to five years to grow.

327
00:19:13,685 --> 00:19:16,586
Five years? <i>(whistles)</i>

328
00:19:16,655 --> 00:19:18,282
I guess that's why they say:

329
00:19:18,357 --> 00:19:21,155
It's a long way to Topiary

330
00:19:21,226 --> 00:19:24,252
It's a long way to go, go, go

331
00:19:28,534 --> 00:19:30,900
I understand that you... Wh...?

332
00:19:33,038 --> 00:19:34,300
<i>(sneezes)</i>

333
00:19:34,373 --> 00:19:38,309
Excuse me. I must be allergic
to something in here. Oh.

334
00:19:38,377 --> 00:19:41,938
Anyway. Thanks, Al. So, I understand
you do a lot of this trimming by hand.

335
00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:46,644
- Yes, I do. And with pruning shears.
- Want me to trim a little bit for you?

336
00:19:46,718 --> 00:19:49,084
You'd better not.
It takes a lot of experience.

337
00:19:49,154 --> 00:19:54,456
But I'll demonstrate some shaping
on the elephant with my pruning shears.

338
00:19:54,526 --> 00:19:56,619
<i>(sneezes)</i>

339
00:20:04,536 --> 00:20:05,969
And...

340
00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:08,700
- There you have it.
- Hey.

341
00:20:08,774 --> 00:20:11,868
Very very interesting, Jim,
and I really appreciate you being here.

342
00:20:11,944 --> 00:20:16,347
And we'll be right back
after these messages from Binford Tools.

343
00:20:29,094 --> 00:20:31,722
- How you doing, hon?
- <i>(she grunts)</i>

344
00:20:31,797 --> 00:20:32,764
<i>(Tim laughs)</i>

345
00:20:32,831 --> 00:20:36,164
What we have here is a Binford series Z,

346
00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:39,534
dual spring action, circulating,
rotating doorknob.

347
00:20:39,605 --> 00:20:42,199
<i>(Tim)</i> Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!

348
00:20:42,274 --> 00:20:48,611
This bad boy can turn to the left,
turn to the right and open without falling off.

349
00:20:49,481 --> 00:20:51,278
- Good job. Good job.
- Nice going, Mom.

350
00:20:51,350 --> 00:20:54,080
- Thank you, I did it all myself.
- She did it pretty well, Dad.

351
00:20:54,152 --> 00:20:56,848
She did. Maintaining a home is teamwork.

352
00:20:56,922 --> 00:20:59,618
I help your mom, she helps me.
That's how we get the chores done.

353
00:20:59,691 --> 00:21:01,682
Right. Did you get the ice dispenser fixed?

354
00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:04,228
I not only fixed it, I made an improvement.

355
00:21:04,296 --> 00:21:06,491
Boys, stand back.

356
00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:13,435
Tim, this is my vacuum cleaner hose.

357
00:21:13,505 --> 00:21:16,303
Not right now. I cleaned it out
and now it's Tim Taylor's party tube.

358
00:21:16,375 --> 00:21:18,172
<i>(upper-crust voice)</i> Puffy, Muffy.

359
00:21:18,243 --> 00:21:21,804
Can I freshen that drink? <i>(laughs)</i>

360
00:21:23,849 --> 00:21:28,843
And maybe my young son wants
to get a drink at the couch. Go long, Brad.

361
00:21:30,188 --> 00:21:32,349
Yes!

362
00:21:36,895 --> 00:21:40,092
Brad and I regapped the plugs,
fixed the ignition.

363
00:21:40,165 --> 00:21:42,395
I'm ready to start the engine.

364
00:21:43,302 --> 00:21:45,600
<i>(clears throat)</i>

365
00:21:45,671 --> 00:21:47,605
What's the matter, honey?
Aren't you gonna start it?

366
00:21:47,673 --> 00:21:50,870
- I got goose bumps.
- You want me to start it?

367
00:21:50,942 --> 00:21:54,469
No, no, no. I just want
to savor the moment.

368
00:21:54,546 --> 00:21:56,537
You know, this idea started in my head,

369
00:21:56,615 --> 00:21:59,641
and piece by piece,
the parts started to roll in.

370
00:21:59,718 --> 00:22:02,084
For the engine or your head?

371
00:22:03,889 --> 00:22:04,878
No, no, no.

372
00:22:04,956 --> 00:22:07,925
Carburetors, from Cleveland. Yeah.

373
00:22:07,993 --> 00:22:11,360
Fuel pump, Tulsa. Distributor, Akron.

374
00:22:11,430 --> 00:22:14,991
- Crankshaft, somewhere in...
- Tim. Start the car.

375
00:22:15,067 --> 00:22:18,127
So much for savoring the moment
with my loved ones.

376
00:22:18,203 --> 00:22:22,765
It's time to bring the sleeping beast to life.

377
00:22:24,443 --> 00:22:27,241
<i>(engine starts)</i>

378
00:22:27,312 --> 00:22:28,711
- <i>(Brad)</i> Yeah!
- <i>(Randy)</i> Yes!

379
00:22:28,780 --> 00:22:30,907
Yeah!

380
00:22:45,397 --> 00:22:47,228
- Hi, I'm Gus.
- Hey, Gus.

381
00:22:47,299 --> 00:22:48,493
Tim Taylor.

382
00:22:48,567 --> 00:22:51,331
- Can I get you anything?
- You got a cold beer?

383
00:22:51,403 --> 00:22:55,339
Cold ones are way in the back.
It'll take me a minute.

384
00:23:04,583 --> 00:23:05,675
He's...

385
00:23:05,751 --> 00:23:07,616
- He's getting a beer?
- He's getting me a beer.

386
00:23:07,686 --> 00:23:10,951
He always takes a really long time
to do this.

387
00:23:15,427 --> 00:23:17,622
- Here you go.
- Thank you very much.

388
00:23:17,696 --> 00:23:19,926
- And here's the pipe cleaners.
- Yeah. OK.

389
00:23:19,998 --> 00:23:22,523
- How long has that Jell-O been in there?
- A long time.

390
00:23:22,601 --> 00:23:25,263
OK.