1 00:00:03,090 --> 00:00:05,424 We did a great job on this letter. 2 00:00:05,425 --> 00:00:07,760 Yeah! Mark's gonna fall for this big time. 3 00:00:07,761 --> 00:00:08,961 Here he comes! 4 00:00:11,832 --> 00:00:15,735 Hey, mark! You got a letter from the detroit pistons. I did? 5 00:00:15,736 --> 00:00:18,804 Yeah. The return address says it's from isiah thomas. 6 00:00:18,805 --> 00:00:21,841 See? I told you he'd write me back. 7 00:00:21,842 --> 00:00:23,709 What does it say? 8 00:00:23,710 --> 00:00:28,114 "dear mark. Thank you for your 25 letters. You're my biggest fan." 9 00:00:28,115 --> 00:00:31,117 Does he say anything else? 10 00:00:31,118 --> 00:00:33,119 "I can't wait to meet you. 11 00:00:35,856 --> 00:00:39,324 "don't tell anybody, but I'm coming to your house Saturday night. 12 00:00:39,325 --> 00:00:43,095 P.S. If you're cooking, I love corn on the cob." 13 00:00:43,096 --> 00:00:44,897 He's coming to our house! 14 00:00:44,898 --> 00:00:49,001 Yeah! This is gonna be cool! Yeah! 15 00:00:49,002 --> 00:00:50,703 I'm gonna go put this in my scrapbook! 16 00:00:50,704 --> 00:00:54,173 Way to go, marcus! Wow. 17 00:00:54,174 --> 00:00:55,541 Yes! 18 00:00:55,542 --> 00:00:57,543 Oh, we are too good. 19 00:02:07,513 --> 00:02:10,015 Well, what do you think? Could we put the kids in the middle? 20 00:02:14,821 --> 00:02:19,024 (all) ♪ happy birthday to you! 21 00:02:19,025 --> 00:02:20,692 (cheering) 22 00:02:20,693 --> 00:02:23,428 Ok, make a wish. Come on. 23 00:02:30,937 --> 00:02:33,072 (all) yeah! 24 00:02:33,073 --> 00:02:34,306 Now, we eat. 25 00:02:34,307 --> 00:02:38,244 Ok, who wants sleeve, who wants armpit? 26 00:02:38,245 --> 00:02:40,712 Sleeve. (brad and randy) pits. 27 00:02:40,713 --> 00:02:42,848 Ok. Tim? 28 00:02:42,849 --> 00:02:46,318 I'll just take a little chest hair. 29 00:02:46,319 --> 00:02:49,789 So, al, what did you wish for? 30 00:02:49,790 --> 00:02:53,625 Oh, no. No, no. I couldn't tell you that or it won't come true. 31 00:02:53,626 --> 00:02:57,663 What are you, al? Seven? Eight now? 32 00:02:57,664 --> 00:03:02,835 Sorry, tim. It's just that I'm a little superstitious about those things. 33 00:03:02,836 --> 00:03:04,770 Yeah? 34 00:03:04,771 --> 00:03:06,772 Well, if you don't tell us what you wished for, 35 00:03:06,773 --> 00:03:08,473 You're not getting your present. 36 00:03:08,474 --> 00:03:11,110 Well, if you must know, I... 37 00:03:11,111 --> 00:03:13,078 I wished for a wife. 38 00:03:15,415 --> 00:03:18,517 Hey! Perfect! 39 00:03:18,518 --> 00:03:20,585 That's what we got ya! 40 00:03:22,189 --> 00:03:25,057 Just don't overinflate her. 41 00:03:28,295 --> 00:03:31,663 Tim, knock it off. Al has a very good chance of getting his wish. 42 00:03:31,664 --> 00:03:35,500 In fact, I might have somebody to introduce you to. Really? 43 00:03:35,501 --> 00:03:38,237 Back the lonely-heart mobile up. 44 00:03:38,238 --> 00:03:40,572 Stay out of this. You are the worst matchmaker. 45 00:03:40,573 --> 00:03:43,242 I am not! Besides this woman is perfect. 46 00:03:43,243 --> 00:03:46,812 What's her name? I don't know. 47 00:03:46,813 --> 00:03:48,747 So she's a good friend? 48 00:03:48,748 --> 00:03:51,616 She is the sister of the woman I sit next to at work. 49 00:03:51,617 --> 00:03:55,287 She's supposed to be very sweet. I'll call beth, get her number, then call you. 50 00:03:55,288 --> 00:03:58,958 Then you call her, then you call me and tell me everything she said. 51 00:03:58,959 --> 00:04:01,660 No, no. Then you call me. 52 00:04:01,661 --> 00:04:05,965 I'll call eddie, he'll call freddie, we'll all get pedicures. 53 00:04:05,966 --> 00:04:07,666 (watch alarm beeps) 54 00:04:07,667 --> 00:04:09,902 Gosh, it's seven already? 55 00:04:09,903 --> 00:04:12,671 I better call the bingo hall, tell 'em I'm running late. 56 00:04:12,672 --> 00:04:14,539 This isn't your usual bingo night. 57 00:04:14,540 --> 00:04:16,742 No, I know. 58 00:04:16,743 --> 00:04:20,846 When you're a regular, they do something special for you on your birthday. 59 00:04:20,847 --> 00:04:25,284 You get to sit next to the caller and use your age as a free space. 60 00:04:28,989 --> 00:04:32,157 Tonight, I'm n35. 61 00:04:33,493 --> 00:04:36,528 You know, it just seems like yesterday I was i19. 62 00:04:39,832 --> 00:04:42,334 He really needs somebody. 63 00:04:45,972 --> 00:04:49,241 Her name's ilene and she's an orthodontist. 64 00:04:49,242 --> 00:04:50,342 Who? 65 00:04:50,343 --> 00:04:53,245 The woman that jill found for me. Thank you 66 00:04:53,246 --> 00:04:54,780 I just spoke to her on the phone. 67 00:04:54,781 --> 00:04:56,882 She has a delightful sense of humor. 68 00:04:56,883 --> 00:04:58,384 Listen to this. 69 00:04:58,385 --> 00:05:01,153 How does an orthodontist hold on to a lawyer? 70 00:05:01,154 --> 00:05:03,722 She makes him a retainer. 71 00:05:08,061 --> 00:05:11,630 I think I know why she's available. 72 00:05:11,631 --> 00:05:14,366 Well, I've invited her over for Friday night. 73 00:05:14,367 --> 00:05:16,969 Told her there would be a few people. 74 00:05:16,970 --> 00:05:19,204 Now I just have to find a few people. 75 00:05:19,205 --> 00:05:21,773 Would you and jill like to come? 76 00:05:21,774 --> 00:05:25,177 Can't make it. And if you were smart, you wouldn't show up either. 77 00:05:25,178 --> 00:05:28,847 Why? Jill is the world's worst matchmaker. 78 00:05:28,848 --> 00:05:31,951 She put seven couples together. Six are getting divorced. 79 00:05:31,952 --> 00:05:35,387 Well, maybe we would be like the seventh couple. 80 00:05:35,388 --> 00:05:40,092 The seventh couple couldn't get married. Turned out they were cousins. 81 00:05:40,093 --> 00:05:45,030 Does everybody know what time it is? It's "tool time"! 82 00:05:45,031 --> 00:05:50,602 That's right! Binford tools is proud to present tim "the tool man" taylor! 83 00:05:50,603 --> 00:05:53,439 (cheering and applause) 84 00:05:54,307 --> 00:05:56,808 Thank you. 85 00:05:56,809 --> 00:05:59,778 Thank you all, and welcome once again to tool time. 86 00:05:59,779 --> 00:06:01,847 I'm your host, tim "the tool man" taylor, 87 00:06:01,848 --> 00:06:04,383 And you all know my assistant, al "catch of the day" borland. 88 00:06:06,652 --> 00:06:09,921 It's male hobby week all this week on tool time. 89 00:06:09,922 --> 00:06:13,425 And today, al and I are doing our tool time salute... 90 00:06:13,426 --> 00:06:15,494 (fishing reel unwinding) 91 00:06:15,495 --> 00:06:17,296 To fishing. 92 00:06:17,297 --> 00:06:21,033 Hobbies are important to men because they allow us to wind down a bit. 93 00:06:21,034 --> 00:06:24,370 I can't speak for everybody, but I work awful hard all week long. 94 00:06:24,371 --> 00:06:26,305 You have another job somewhere, tim? 95 00:06:29,109 --> 00:06:32,611 Gosh, darn it. That was funny, al. It really was. 96 00:06:32,612 --> 00:06:35,481 Who's writing your material? An orthodontist? 97 00:06:38,051 --> 00:06:40,652 Bite on that one, big worm. 98 00:06:40,653 --> 00:06:43,555 Look. We're talking about fly-fishing today. 99 00:06:43,556 --> 00:06:46,691 To get a good information base, we've invited a special guest. 100 00:06:46,692 --> 00:06:51,596 I want a warm tool time welcome for ace angler chuck norwood. 101 00:06:51,597 --> 00:06:53,598 (cheering and applause) 102 00:06:57,270 --> 00:07:01,473 Welcome, chuck. Thanks, tim. Al. 103 00:07:01,474 --> 00:07:03,342 You brought a nice selection of rods here. 104 00:07:03,343 --> 00:07:06,378 I'd love to see a worm try to wiggle off one of those big bad boys. 105 00:07:06,379 --> 00:07:10,049 Actually, tim, with fly-fishing, there's no live bait involved. 106 00:07:10,050 --> 00:07:12,451 The fish are drawn to the fly. 107 00:07:12,452 --> 00:07:15,320 Under the heading of flies, you've got two basic types. 108 00:07:15,321 --> 00:07:18,123 The opened and closed, chuck. 109 00:07:20,927 --> 00:07:24,096 Chuck meant the dry fly and the wet fly. 110 00:07:24,097 --> 00:07:28,767 This is a joke, al. The dry fly floats on top of the water, whereas your wet fly... 111 00:07:28,768 --> 00:07:32,237 Has kept you out of every major restaurant in the detroit area. 112 00:07:33,973 --> 00:07:35,640 How about a little demonstration? 113 00:07:35,641 --> 00:07:41,447 Yeah. This first one is a real classic. It's handmade bamboo. 114 00:07:41,448 --> 00:07:44,049 Look at this. That's a good-looking rod. 115 00:07:44,050 --> 00:07:46,918 The prices for that start at about... 116 00:07:51,958 --> 00:07:54,793 $800. 117 00:07:54,794 --> 00:07:58,464 Now it's $1600. You got two of 'em. 118 00:07:58,465 --> 00:08:00,566 We have an insurance policy for these little accidents. 119 00:08:00,567 --> 00:08:04,136 Actually, our insurance cancelled after the fourth show. 120 00:08:04,137 --> 00:08:07,005 Well, glue it. What do we got now? 121 00:08:07,006 --> 00:08:08,840 This next one's my personal favorite. 122 00:08:08,841 --> 00:08:11,676 This is a morgan bxl graphite. 123 00:08:11,677 --> 00:08:13,378 Not even you can break that, tim. 124 00:08:13,379 --> 00:08:15,280 Don't bet on it. 125 00:08:15,281 --> 00:08:17,983 That's a beauty. Look at that thing. 126 00:08:17,984 --> 00:08:20,652 I bet you'd get a big old stinky bass on this thing. 127 00:08:20,653 --> 00:08:23,922 Hey, al. Open up. 128 00:08:23,923 --> 00:08:27,126 You want to be careful using a graphite rod in a lightning storm 129 00:08:27,127 --> 00:08:30,795 Because it is an excellent conductor of electricity. 130 00:08:30,796 --> 00:08:34,065 We've been known to have a lot of electrical storms in the studio. 131 00:08:34,066 --> 00:08:37,802 I'm just saying that if they happen to be in an area that is susceptible.... 132 00:08:48,281 --> 00:08:50,849 Mom, can we have corn on the cob Saturday night? 133 00:08:50,850 --> 00:08:54,052 Sure. Why? Not supposed to tell. 134 00:08:54,053 --> 00:08:56,688 If you want corn, you'll tell. 135 00:08:56,689 --> 00:08:58,257 Ok. 136 00:08:58,258 --> 00:09:00,925 Isiah thomas is coming to dinner and he really loves corn. 137 00:09:00,926 --> 00:09:04,863 Isiah thomas? 138 00:09:04,864 --> 00:09:07,599 You can't say anything to anybody, ok? 139 00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:09,901 (tim) hey, I'm home. 140 00:09:09,902 --> 00:09:12,837 Oh, I don't believe it. Well, I'm right here. 141 00:09:16,709 --> 00:09:18,943 What is this? Brad and randy wrote to mark 142 00:09:18,944 --> 00:09:21,012 Pretending to be isiah thomas. 143 00:09:21,013 --> 00:09:23,215 It's not from isiah? 144 00:09:23,216 --> 00:09:27,719 Mark, no professional basketball player is gonna come to our house to eat corn. 145 00:09:29,822 --> 00:09:33,625 Especially your mom's corn. 146 00:09:33,626 --> 00:09:36,295 Honey... Look, you're eight years old now. 147 00:09:36,296 --> 00:09:39,831 It's time that we had this talk. 148 00:09:39,832 --> 00:09:43,435 Stop being such a sap! 149 00:09:43,436 --> 00:09:46,538 But the letter looked so real. 150 00:09:46,539 --> 00:09:48,907 Let me give you some guidelines here. 151 00:09:51,077 --> 00:09:53,278 If something good happens to you, 152 00:09:53,279 --> 00:09:56,147 And brad and randy are happy that it happened, 153 00:09:56,148 --> 00:09:59,751 It's probably not a good thing. 154 00:09:59,752 --> 00:10:01,220 I'm gonna get them back! 155 00:10:01,221 --> 00:10:03,755 Wait. What are you gonna do to 'em? 156 00:10:03,756 --> 00:10:08,227 I'm gonna tell them that they're ugly and that their feet stink. 157 00:10:09,295 --> 00:10:11,296 (whistles) ouch! 158 00:10:13,533 --> 00:10:17,369 It's probably not a good idea to tell 'em stuff they already know. 159 00:10:17,370 --> 00:10:20,038 Think of something, all right? Ok. 160 00:10:20,039 --> 00:10:24,008 By the way, keep Friday open. I got sleepovers for all the kids. 161 00:10:24,009 --> 00:10:27,446 We are going out. All right! 162 00:10:27,447 --> 00:10:30,515 We almost got roped into going to al's house. Where are we going? 163 00:10:30,516 --> 00:10:34,185 Al's house. No! 164 00:10:34,186 --> 00:10:37,021 More dip? No, thank you, al. 165 00:10:37,022 --> 00:10:39,057 Dipped out, big fella. 166 00:10:44,029 --> 00:10:47,232 Don't worry, al. Ilene'll be here any minute. 167 00:10:53,473 --> 00:10:55,274 Any minute. 168 00:10:55,275 --> 00:10:58,977 Boy, I should take a look at that rack of lamb before it dries out. 169 00:11:02,649 --> 00:11:04,983 She's 30 minutes late. She's not coming. Let's eat. 170 00:11:04,984 --> 00:11:10,289 She's coming. Stop whining. Try to say something supportive. 171 00:11:10,290 --> 00:11:12,157 Nice butt, al. 172 00:11:15,428 --> 00:11:17,228 (doorbell) 173 00:11:17,229 --> 00:11:18,997 Well, that's probably her now. 174 00:11:23,336 --> 00:11:26,505 Hi. Hi. 175 00:11:26,506 --> 00:11:28,573 Al? Ilene? 176 00:11:30,310 --> 00:11:33,044 Would you like to come on in? Come on in. 177 00:11:33,045 --> 00:11:35,947 Hi. I'm jill. I work with beth. Nice to meet you. 178 00:11:35,948 --> 00:11:38,950 And the man behind the cheese ball is my husband tim. Hi. 179 00:11:38,951 --> 00:11:42,921 This is very exciting for me. I'm a big fan of the show. 180 00:11:42,922 --> 00:11:45,256 You are so funny. Thank you very much. 181 00:11:45,257 --> 00:11:48,993 And al. So competent. 182 00:11:51,764 --> 00:11:55,166 Thanks. Would you like something to drink? 183 00:11:55,167 --> 00:11:57,469 That'd be great. Uh... Wine? 184 00:12:02,174 --> 00:12:04,075 This really isn't like me, being late. 185 00:12:04,076 --> 00:12:06,177 Normally I am right on time. Or early. 186 00:12:06,178 --> 00:12:10,515 What a coincidence. Al is always early. Isn't that right, tim? 187 00:12:10,516 --> 00:12:13,084 Yeah. Sometimes he shows up before he's invited. 188 00:12:14,854 --> 00:12:17,288 I just couldn't get out of the office. 189 00:12:17,289 --> 00:12:19,257 Then on the way over here my car stalled. 190 00:12:19,258 --> 00:12:22,260 I'll take a look at it. Al should look at it. 191 00:12:22,261 --> 00:12:25,997 Ilene, I would love to look under your hood. 192 00:12:25,998 --> 00:12:30,101 I mean... I mean of your car! Of her car! 193 00:12:30,102 --> 00:12:32,303 Al, you have a great sense of humor. 194 00:12:32,304 --> 00:12:34,673 A sense of humor is very important in a relationship. 195 00:12:34,674 --> 00:12:38,176 If I didn't have a sense of humor, I never would have been able to stay with tim. 196 00:12:40,680 --> 00:12:41,880 (beeping) 197 00:12:41,881 --> 00:12:43,482 How long have you two been married? 198 00:12:43,483 --> 00:12:46,050 It seems like forever. 199 00:12:46,051 --> 00:12:47,753 In a good way. 200 00:12:47,754 --> 00:12:51,656 Children? Yes. We have three delightful boys. 201 00:12:51,657 --> 00:12:53,759 And who would they be? 202 00:12:55,395 --> 00:12:59,330 I myself would love a big family. 203 00:12:59,331 --> 00:13:04,302 Me too. Although I'm 36 and I worry it's a little late to be getting started. 204 00:13:04,303 --> 00:13:07,539 Oh, no. You have plenty of good childbearing years left. 205 00:13:09,776 --> 00:13:13,211 It's not only that. It's the whole process. 206 00:13:13,212 --> 00:13:14,946 First you have to meet somebody, 207 00:13:14,947 --> 00:13:18,450 Then you have to date, see if the chemistry's right. 208 00:13:18,451 --> 00:13:20,519 I wish there was a way to cut through that. 209 00:13:20,520 --> 00:13:23,221 So do I. You do? 210 00:13:23,222 --> 00:13:25,424 You know, I... 211 00:13:25,425 --> 00:13:28,059 I wouldn't want to be too forward, but I... 212 00:13:28,060 --> 00:13:31,262 I would love to be the father of your children. 213 00:13:42,608 --> 00:13:45,310 Do you mind if we eat first? 214 00:13:52,051 --> 00:13:56,788 "I'd love to be the father of your children." 215 00:13:56,789 --> 00:14:02,861 I still can't believe the woman didn't go running out of the apartment, screaming. 216 00:14:02,862 --> 00:14:06,965 That's 'cause she's just as desperate as he is. 217 00:14:06,966 --> 00:14:10,602 Honey, you've got to applaud yourself. They're a perfect match. 218 00:14:10,603 --> 00:14:13,672 We gotta talk to al. What are you doing? Don't talk... No. 219 00:14:13,673 --> 00:14:15,474 They're going way too fast. Way too fast. 220 00:14:15,475 --> 00:14:17,342 She practically moved in before dessert. 221 00:14:17,343 --> 00:14:20,311 Her car stalls once on the way over, and by the end of the night, 222 00:14:20,312 --> 00:14:22,046 She thinks she can't make it home? 223 00:14:22,047 --> 00:14:26,284 "oh, gee, al. Maybe I'd better stay on your couch." 224 00:14:26,285 --> 00:14:28,520 How long is she gonna be alone on that couch? 225 00:14:28,521 --> 00:14:31,089 Knowing al, six months. Come on! 226 00:14:31,090 --> 00:14:32,357 Hang up. 227 00:14:32,358 --> 00:14:34,793 You are just not getting this at all. 228 00:14:34,794 --> 00:14:37,195 These people are not acting rationally. 229 00:14:37,196 --> 00:14:38,763 You're not acting rationally. 230 00:14:38,764 --> 00:14:42,166 Hey, you cannot build a relationship based on desperation. 231 00:14:42,167 --> 00:14:44,703 We did! 232 00:14:44,704 --> 00:14:47,973 Tim, they were naming their babies. 233 00:14:47,974 --> 00:14:49,340 They were joking. 234 00:14:49,341 --> 00:14:52,844 They laughed when I said, "call it tim." remember? 235 00:14:52,845 --> 00:14:55,680 Hang up. Not until you promise me you'll call them. 236 00:14:55,681 --> 00:14:58,683 All right. I won't call al, I'll talk to him tomorrow. Ok? 237 00:14:58,684 --> 00:15:01,520 It's a waste of time. They'll work it out. 238 00:15:01,521 --> 00:15:04,489 When you're in a new relationship, you're on an emotional high. 239 00:15:04,490 --> 00:15:08,126 But after a while, you come crashing down to reality. I know I did. 240 00:15:20,472 --> 00:15:23,942 Happy hour, wilson? (chuckles) 241 00:15:23,943 --> 00:15:26,110 No! No, no, no, tim. 242 00:15:26,111 --> 00:15:30,081 I find that two coats of bourbon give my paintings a nice gloss. 243 00:15:30,082 --> 00:15:34,619 Two coats of bourbon will give anybody a nice gloss. 244 00:15:34,620 --> 00:15:37,622 Tim, it was rumored that the mona lisa 245 00:15:37,623 --> 00:15:39,991 Was covered with a splash of whiskey. 246 00:15:39,992 --> 00:15:43,361 That would explain why she had that little plastered look. 247 00:15:43,362 --> 00:15:45,964 Actually, tim, that look may have had more to do 248 00:15:45,965 --> 00:15:49,801 With her supposed relationship with leonardo da vinci. 249 00:15:49,802 --> 00:15:52,203 I don't wanna talk about relationships today. 250 00:15:52,204 --> 00:15:55,607 Problem, tim? Yeah. Jill's driving me nuts. 251 00:15:55,608 --> 00:15:57,508 She fixes al up with a girl he likes. 252 00:15:57,509 --> 00:16:00,211 Now she thinks they're moving too fast and wants to break 'em up. 253 00:16:00,212 --> 00:16:03,949 Why do women meddle in relationships? Men don't care about that. 254 00:16:03,950 --> 00:16:06,217 Uh-oh. You're falling victim to a cultural stereotype. 255 00:16:06,218 --> 00:16:09,087 Historically, men have been the primary matchmakers. 256 00:16:09,088 --> 00:16:11,890 (grunts quizzically) (grunts) 257 00:16:11,891 --> 00:16:14,325 For example, among the xhosa kaffir tribe, 258 00:16:14,326 --> 00:16:18,329 A young man's father would choose his first, sometimes even his second, wife 259 00:16:18,330 --> 00:16:22,500 In exchange for a sack of barley or a goat. 260 00:16:22,501 --> 00:16:25,003 I'd hold out for a sack of cash and a jag. 261 00:16:27,473 --> 00:16:30,875 You see, unlike the ancient matchmakers, 262 00:16:30,876 --> 00:16:32,443 Who received goods for their services, 263 00:16:32,444 --> 00:16:34,512 Jill's motives are much purer. 264 00:16:34,513 --> 00:16:36,848 She only wants what's best for al. 265 00:16:36,849 --> 00:16:38,316 But why does she drag me into it? 266 00:16:38,317 --> 00:16:40,652 Who the heck knows? You know women. 267 00:16:44,323 --> 00:16:48,192 Ok, mom. Here's the fake letter. We're gonna get them great! 268 00:16:48,193 --> 00:16:49,928 Boy, this is a big moment for you. 269 00:16:49,929 --> 00:16:51,830 Your first prank against your brothers. 270 00:16:51,831 --> 00:16:53,632 You came up with it all by yourself. 271 00:16:53,633 --> 00:16:56,801 Mom, this is only the beginning. 272 00:16:59,505 --> 00:17:01,172 Hi, guys. How you doing? 273 00:17:01,173 --> 00:17:03,441 Ah, so tonight's the big night, eh, mark? 274 00:17:03,442 --> 00:17:05,510 I hope you have enough corn for isiah. 275 00:17:05,511 --> 00:17:08,479 Hey, mark. Look at this. You got a letter from isiah thomas. 276 00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:11,616 Wow! Another letter. 277 00:17:17,990 --> 00:17:21,826 Cool! Isiah's leaving me five tickets to the bulls game! 278 00:17:21,827 --> 00:17:23,962 Wait a second. Let me see that. 279 00:17:25,698 --> 00:17:29,534 Oh, man. Courtside seats for the whole family. 280 00:17:29,535 --> 00:17:31,202 All we have to do is present the letter. 281 00:17:31,203 --> 00:17:34,172 Wait a minute. Let me see that. 282 00:17:34,173 --> 00:17:36,407 Right. We're invited to the locker room 283 00:17:36,408 --> 00:17:38,342 To get an autographed game ball after that? 284 00:17:38,343 --> 00:17:41,479 Oh, my gosh, I can't believe it! Oh, my gosh, I can't either. 285 00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:44,015 Well, I don't believe it. Did you guys write this? 286 00:17:44,016 --> 00:17:46,551 No! I swear! Really, mom, we didn't. 287 00:17:46,552 --> 00:17:50,188 Yeah, we wrote the other one! They wrote the other one! 288 00:17:50,189 --> 00:17:52,623 Yeah, but this one's real! Wait a minute. 289 00:17:52,624 --> 00:17:54,159 You wrote a fake letter? 290 00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:56,895 Yeah, but this one's real. This one's real. 291 00:17:56,896 --> 00:17:59,597 I don't believe it. Hey, hey, hey! Hey! 292 00:17:59,598 --> 00:18:01,833 No! Come on! 293 00:18:01,834 --> 00:18:03,802 (brad) I got this piece. 294 00:18:03,803 --> 00:18:06,004 Tim! Tim. 295 00:18:06,005 --> 00:18:09,407 Mark wrote that letter. 296 00:18:09,408 --> 00:18:11,776 I knew that. We're all in this together. 297 00:18:11,777 --> 00:18:13,411 Suckers, suckers. 298 00:18:15,514 --> 00:18:18,216 Nice try, dad. I knew he did that. 299 00:18:18,217 --> 00:18:21,219 Guys, go on up and wash your hands. Good job! 300 00:18:21,220 --> 00:18:23,321 Can I go up and tease 'em? Absolutely. 301 00:18:23,322 --> 00:18:24,622 Thank you. 302 00:18:24,623 --> 00:18:26,725 Great! 303 00:18:26,726 --> 00:18:28,827 I'm gonna clean up and get to work. 304 00:18:28,828 --> 00:18:31,796 Don't forget to talk to al about ilene. 305 00:18:31,797 --> 00:18:33,364 I got a better idea. 306 00:18:33,365 --> 00:18:36,935 I'm thinking maybe I'll bring 'em over, both of them. 307 00:18:36,936 --> 00:18:38,870 They can watch how we are together. 308 00:18:38,871 --> 00:18:41,405 I'm sure they'll decide they're much better off single. 309 00:18:44,343 --> 00:18:47,445 Ford part, obviously. Mustang, '67. 310 00:18:47,446 --> 00:18:48,913 You know it, tim. 311 00:18:48,914 --> 00:18:52,483 I have over 700 wheel covers and hubcaps in my collection at home. 312 00:18:52,484 --> 00:18:56,054 Wow! That takes a lot of space. You must have a real understanding wife. 313 00:18:56,055 --> 00:18:58,589 She left me, tim. 314 00:18:58,590 --> 00:19:00,859 She said it was either her or the hubcaps. 315 00:19:00,860 --> 00:19:02,727 Hate to hear that. 316 00:19:02,728 --> 00:19:05,764 But I think you made the decision most of us would have made. 317 00:19:05,765 --> 00:19:09,234 Right, al? I don't think so, tim. 318 00:19:09,235 --> 00:19:12,937 I would never trade wheel covers for the love of a good woman. 319 00:19:12,938 --> 00:19:16,841 And, unlike you, I have never used the show as my personal forum. 320 00:19:16,842 --> 00:19:19,477 I would like to say something to my special lady. 321 00:19:19,478 --> 00:19:21,379 What are you gonna do? Speak from the heart. 322 00:19:21,380 --> 00:19:23,381 Al, don't do this. Al! 323 00:19:23,382 --> 00:19:26,017 (tim) it was good to have you on the show. Thanks. 324 00:19:26,018 --> 00:19:29,287 Dr. Ilene markham. I, albert borland, 325 00:19:29,288 --> 00:19:32,157 Would like to spend the rest of my life with you. 326 00:19:32,158 --> 00:19:34,225 Will you marry me? (laughs) 327 00:19:34,226 --> 00:19:36,795 That's great. Great. That's great. 328 00:19:36,796 --> 00:19:39,230 What are you doing? I'm proposing. 329 00:19:39,231 --> 00:19:41,565 Are you crazy? He's crazy. Crazy in love. 330 00:19:41,566 --> 00:19:44,402 Oh, boy! Aren't you? Aren't we all? 331 00:19:44,403 --> 00:19:47,438 That's all the time we have. Klaus, the music, please. Thank you. 332 00:19:47,439 --> 00:19:50,441 That's it for tool time. See you next time. 333 00:19:50,442 --> 00:19:52,110 Thank you very much. 334 00:19:52,111 --> 00:19:53,544 (woman) you're clear. 335 00:19:53,545 --> 00:19:54,779 Are you out of your mind? 336 00:19:54,780 --> 00:19:57,115 On the contrary. I've never felt clearer. 337 00:19:57,116 --> 00:19:59,050 You've only known her a couple of days! 338 00:19:59,051 --> 00:20:01,085 Yes, but I know everything about her. 339 00:20:01,086 --> 00:20:03,554 Is she married? I don't know. 340 00:20:03,555 --> 00:20:06,224 Is she from around here? I don't know. 341 00:20:06,225 --> 00:20:09,760 Is she allergic to flannel? Does she have any weird tattoos? 342 00:20:09,761 --> 00:20:11,830 Can she digest asparagus properly? 343 00:20:11,831 --> 00:20:13,064 I don't know! 344 00:20:13,065 --> 00:20:14,565 What do you know about her? 345 00:20:14,566 --> 00:20:16,634 I do know that I like her. 346 00:20:16,635 --> 00:20:19,304 And I want to start a family before I get too old. 347 00:20:19,305 --> 00:20:21,873 What? Well, you know... 348 00:20:21,874 --> 00:20:26,344 My father was almost 60 when I was born. 349 00:20:26,345 --> 00:20:29,113 I didn't know that. Yeah, well, I... 350 00:20:29,114 --> 00:20:33,117 Thank you. 351 00:20:33,118 --> 00:20:36,287 When we would go to the park, we would sit and feed the pigeons 352 00:20:36,288 --> 00:20:39,123 While I would watch the other kids play ball with their dad. 353 00:20:41,493 --> 00:20:43,862 60 is a ways off, buddy. 354 00:20:43,863 --> 00:20:47,698 And getting married is a big step. 355 00:20:47,699 --> 00:20:49,901 It's, um... 356 00:20:49,902 --> 00:20:51,669 It's like when you bought your saber saw. 357 00:20:51,670 --> 00:20:55,173 You didn't buy the first one you saw. Of course not! 358 00:20:55,174 --> 00:20:57,708 You went back to the hardware store a couple of times, looked at a few of 'em, 359 00:20:57,709 --> 00:20:59,744 To make sure there's no surprises. 360 00:20:59,745 --> 00:21:02,513 Well, yeah. That's... True. 361 00:21:02,514 --> 00:21:03,814 Women are like that. 362 00:21:03,815 --> 00:21:05,783 You don't want to marry a saber saw 363 00:21:05,784 --> 00:21:11,655 And wake up one day and find yourself lying next to a... Jackhammer. 364 00:21:11,656 --> 00:21:14,359 So, what you're saying is, 365 00:21:14,360 --> 00:21:15,927 You don't want to go to bed with one tool 366 00:21:15,928 --> 00:21:18,263 And wake up with another. 367 00:21:22,601 --> 00:21:26,271 Ideally, you don't want to be going to bed with tools. 368 00:21:26,272 --> 00:21:30,141 You know what I'm driving at here, al? 369 00:21:30,142 --> 00:21:32,377 Yes, I do. 370 00:21:32,378 --> 00:21:34,745 Oh, but, tim, 371 00:21:34,746 --> 00:21:37,448 I've already proposed. It's gonna be on the air in a few hours. 372 00:21:37,449 --> 00:21:39,450 I think I got that covered. 373 00:21:39,451 --> 00:21:41,386 Really? Yeah. 374 00:21:41,387 --> 00:21:44,923 What do you say you and I go over to the park and play a little catch? 375 00:21:44,924 --> 00:21:47,792 That'd be great. Then maybe we could feed the pigeons. 376 00:21:47,793 --> 00:21:50,795 Let's not get carried away, al. 377 00:21:50,796 --> 00:21:56,801 I'd say this is a mustang, probably '67. You know it, tim. 378 00:21:56,802 --> 00:21:59,670 He really proposes to her on the air? Yeah, yeah. 379 00:21:59,671 --> 00:22:01,806 Why didn't you stop him? I couldn't. 380 00:22:01,807 --> 00:22:05,209 He was like a belt sander headed for some pine. 381 00:22:05,210 --> 00:22:07,312 What will happen when she sees this? 382 00:22:07,313 --> 00:22:09,213 Covered, covered. 383 00:22:10,916 --> 00:22:12,216 Dr. Ilene markham. 384 00:22:12,217 --> 00:22:14,986 I, albert borland, would like to spend... 385 00:22:14,987 --> 00:22:16,720 (tim's voice) Tuesday night. ...With you. 386 00:22:16,721 --> 00:22:18,722 (electronic voice with japanese accent) 387 00:22:22,661 --> 00:22:25,964 Look, it's godzilla. 388 00:22:25,965 --> 00:22:29,267 The city's in danger. It's godzilla! 389 00:22:29,268 --> 00:22:32,636 It's not, it's your mother! 390 00:22:39,478 --> 00:22:43,781 Dear mark. 391 00:22:43,782 --> 00:22:47,218 Sorry it's taken me so long to write back, 392 00:22:47,219 --> 00:22:49,020 But I've been really busy. 393 00:22:49,021 --> 00:22:52,190 (woman) isiah, honey, come to dinner. In a minute. 394 00:22:52,191 --> 00:22:56,361 I gotta write back to this kid. He's written me 25 times. 395 00:22:56,362 --> 00:22:58,296 Your corn's getting cold. 396 00:23:01,333 --> 00:23:04,335 (woman) isiah, honey. Come to dinner. In a minute. 397 00:23:04,336 --> 00:23:08,806 I've gotta write back to this kid. He's written me 25 times. 398 00:23:08,807 --> 00:23:13,577 Come on, zeke, man. Forget the kid. The corn's on, buddy. 399 00:23:13,578 --> 00:23:15,513 We got plenty of corn. 400 00:23:15,514 --> 00:23:19,350 There's pimentos with it. Come on, buddy. 401 00:23:19,351 --> 00:23:21,752 Come on, I said.