1 00:00:01,521 --> 00:00:04,090 Blue 32. Hi-hi-hike! Brad, go long. 2 00:00:04,091 --> 00:00:06,692 All right. 3 00:00:06,693 --> 00:00:09,929 Deeper! Deeper! Deep this, mini montana. 4 00:00:09,930 --> 00:00:12,932 We were just about to take that outside. Nice try. 5 00:00:12,933 --> 00:00:15,001 Is mom home? 6 00:00:15,002 --> 00:00:16,468 No. 7 00:00:16,469 --> 00:00:19,238 Great! Go long by the couch. Give me a down. 8 00:00:22,342 --> 00:00:23,809 All right! 9 00:00:23,810 --> 00:00:26,211 Hey, didn't you sign up for an elective today? 10 00:00:26,212 --> 00:00:27,713 Yeah. Let's go, randy. 11 00:00:27,714 --> 00:00:29,915 No, wait a minute. I'm real proud of you. 12 00:00:29,916 --> 00:00:33,753 Your first year of shop - the year of the ashtray. 13 00:00:35,488 --> 00:00:38,190 Actually, brad's taking home ec. 14 00:00:38,191 --> 00:00:39,424 What? 15 00:00:39,425 --> 00:00:43,863 This is the year of the muffin. No way! 16 00:00:43,864 --> 00:00:45,297 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! 17 00:00:45,298 --> 00:00:47,933 Home ec? You really gotta take shop. 18 00:00:47,934 --> 00:00:51,804 It's where you learn about tools, building things, tearing stuff down, and... 19 00:00:51,805 --> 00:00:53,539 (grunts) 20 00:00:53,540 --> 00:00:55,941 Yeah, but home ec is me and 30 girls. 21 00:00:55,942 --> 00:00:59,078 What do you wanna be around 30 girls for? 22 00:00:59,079 --> 00:01:02,281 Oh-ho-ho! I catch you. 23 00:01:02,282 --> 00:01:04,583 Before you go jumping in a room with 30 girls, 24 00:01:04,584 --> 00:01:06,786 You really should take shop. 25 00:01:06,787 --> 00:01:08,921 Why? 26 00:01:08,922 --> 00:01:11,623 Shop prepares you for women. 27 00:01:11,624 --> 00:01:15,327 You learn how to cut wood. How to sever a finger. 28 00:01:15,328 --> 00:01:17,229 You learn pain. 29 00:01:17,230 --> 00:01:19,464 Then you're ready for women. 30 00:02:30,270 --> 00:02:32,204 Well, what do you think? Could we put the kids in the middle? 31 00:02:53,894 --> 00:02:55,961 Hey, tool man! Oh! 32 00:02:55,962 --> 00:02:59,064 I watch you on tv all the time. I love you. 33 00:02:59,065 --> 00:03:00,833 I love you too. Who are you? 34 00:03:00,834 --> 00:03:02,134 Joe morton, your new neighbor. 35 00:03:02,135 --> 00:03:03,368 I just moved into the house across the alley. 36 00:03:03,369 --> 00:03:06,571 Hey, all right. I saw the moving van. Uh-huh. 37 00:03:06,572 --> 00:03:08,340 Did I see a 50-inch-square tv? 38 00:03:08,341 --> 00:03:09,942 Know what's great on the big screen? 39 00:03:09,943 --> 00:03:12,144 What? Tool time! 40 00:03:12,145 --> 00:03:14,814 Welcome to the neighborhood. What line of work you in? 41 00:03:14,815 --> 00:03:17,716 I'm in meat. You're the tool man, I'm the meat man. 42 00:03:17,717 --> 00:03:19,952 Morton meats. You heard of us? Yeah! 43 00:03:19,953 --> 00:03:22,421 Yeah. Eight locations. Best meat in the midwest. 44 00:03:22,422 --> 00:03:24,690 You want a pen? 45 00:03:24,691 --> 00:03:28,093 There's a cow on there. Yeah. 46 00:03:28,094 --> 00:03:30,462 Turn it upside down, see what she does. 47 00:03:30,463 --> 00:03:32,464 (mooing) 48 00:03:34,201 --> 00:03:36,768 Kind of like "moo" power. 49 00:03:36,769 --> 00:03:40,372 That's great. This hot rod's a beaut. What year? 50 00:03:40,373 --> 00:03:42,574 This is '33. Really? 51 00:03:42,575 --> 00:03:46,645 Look more like a '34 body on a '33 chassis to me. No, it's all '33. 52 00:03:46,646 --> 00:03:49,248 I'm no expert, but I go to the hot rod show every year. 53 00:03:49,249 --> 00:03:52,684 Well, meat man, I built it myself. It's a '33. 54 00:03:52,685 --> 00:03:55,620 So, I guess a big-time cable tv host like you makes out pretty good, huh? 55 00:03:55,621 --> 00:03:59,325 I guess you could say I got the highest credit limit allowed at sears. 56 00:03:59,326 --> 00:04:04,230 Still, you can't be making bob vila money, right? He's on real tv. 57 00:04:04,231 --> 00:04:07,933 It's common knowledge that vila's overpaid for what he does. 58 00:04:07,934 --> 00:04:10,736 Oh, I hit a nerve, huh? Don't sit on that. 59 00:04:10,737 --> 00:04:13,739 Yeah, sure. Whatever you're making, you must be doing ok. 60 00:04:13,740 --> 00:04:15,975 Yeah. Bought you one of these babies. 61 00:04:15,976 --> 00:04:19,078 I'm ok. I'm ok. Don't worry about me. I wasn't. 62 00:04:19,079 --> 00:04:23,582 What kind of grill is that? Well, it's, um... 63 00:04:23,583 --> 00:04:26,986 Oh! It's a dented reproduction of a '33 roadster. 64 00:04:26,987 --> 00:04:29,922 Just tell me how much it cost. I'll give you the cash now. 65 00:04:29,923 --> 00:04:32,524 It was an accident. I can pound that out. 66 00:04:32,525 --> 00:04:35,794 I just figured I'd drive it before I put a dent in it. 67 00:04:35,795 --> 00:04:37,796 That's funny! 68 00:04:37,797 --> 00:04:39,865 I like that, you can just shake things off. 69 00:04:39,866 --> 00:04:42,134 I'm gonna get back on this windshield. 70 00:04:42,135 --> 00:04:44,203 Don't mind me. I'm a fly on the wall. 71 00:04:44,204 --> 00:04:47,639 Wish I had some insect repellent. 72 00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:51,143 I'll just buzz around and watch. All right. 73 00:04:55,848 --> 00:04:59,351 (horn blares) 74 00:04:59,352 --> 00:05:01,586 I really got something to do inside. 75 00:05:01,587 --> 00:05:03,655 What is it? A little problem. 76 00:05:03,656 --> 00:05:05,857 What's wrong? What's wrong? Uh... 77 00:05:05,858 --> 00:05:07,993 It's my wife. 78 00:05:07,994 --> 00:05:09,694 She's got this condition. 79 00:05:09,695 --> 00:05:12,031 I gotta go wake her up, dress her, 80 00:05:12,032 --> 00:05:14,499 Pour coffee down her throat to get her going. 81 00:05:14,500 --> 00:05:16,902 I hear you, buddy. 82 00:05:16,903 --> 00:05:18,603 No, that's not it... 83 00:05:18,604 --> 00:05:20,872 Timmy, it's nothing to be ashamed of. 84 00:05:20,873 --> 00:05:23,909 I see you on tv, I figure there's a guy who got it made. 85 00:05:23,910 --> 00:05:26,645 Now I find out there's a dark side to the tool man. 86 00:05:26,646 --> 00:05:30,416 Hm. Take care, buddy. Here's your paper. 87 00:05:31,884 --> 00:05:33,885 Beauty! 88 00:05:38,958 --> 00:05:40,960 Does everybody know what time it is? 89 00:05:40,961 --> 00:05:43,095 Tool time! That's right. 90 00:05:43,096 --> 00:05:47,666 Binford tools is proud to present tim "the tool man" taylor! Whoo! 91 00:05:47,667 --> 00:05:49,301 (cheering) 92 00:05:52,973 --> 00:05:54,940 Thank you, heidi. 93 00:05:54,941 --> 00:05:57,809 Welcome to tool time. I am tim "the tool man" taylor. 94 00:05:57,810 --> 00:06:01,213 Y'all know my assistant, al "god knows what's under that beard" borland. 95 00:06:03,416 --> 00:06:06,718 Today al and I will be talking about fencing. 96 00:06:06,719 --> 00:06:10,222 In order to do that, I'm gonna need my dueling dowel. 97 00:06:10,223 --> 00:06:13,092 Heidi? Here you go, tim. 98 00:06:13,093 --> 00:06:15,794 Thanks, heidi. You're welcome. 99 00:06:18,931 --> 00:06:22,267 En garde, big fella. Come on, flannel man. Tim. 100 00:06:22,268 --> 00:06:24,336 Tim. Tim. 101 00:06:24,337 --> 00:06:25,770 He's scared. 102 00:06:25,771 --> 00:06:28,773 This is not the type of fencing we're talking about. 103 00:06:28,774 --> 00:06:31,310 We're talking about the classic... 104 00:06:54,167 --> 00:06:56,568 (audience gasps) 105 00:06:56,569 --> 00:06:58,170 (applause) 106 00:07:01,974 --> 00:07:05,377 Fencing champion, gilmore high, 1976. 107 00:07:05,378 --> 00:07:08,647 Al and I have done this to prove a point. No, we haven't. 108 00:07:08,648 --> 00:07:11,383 Just as al defended himself against me, 109 00:07:11,384 --> 00:07:13,885 A sturdy fence is a great way to defend your home - 110 00:07:13,886 --> 00:07:17,122 The best way to keep out dogs, cats and a pesky neighbor. 111 00:07:17,123 --> 00:07:20,926 The good thing is, you don't have to be a master carpenter to build one. 112 00:07:20,927 --> 00:07:23,195 A big plus for you, tim. Could be. 113 00:07:23,196 --> 00:07:26,065 As I said, this is the classic alternate-board fence. 114 00:07:26,066 --> 00:07:29,134 We wanna show you how to keep that fence plumb. 115 00:07:29,135 --> 00:07:31,570 For that, we need a jig. Tim, the jig? 116 00:07:31,571 --> 00:07:33,572 (♪ hums jig) 117 00:07:40,580 --> 00:07:44,349 This will help keep your fence plumb, as well as help with spacing. 118 00:07:44,350 --> 00:07:46,585 While al's fiddling around with his plumb, 119 00:07:46,586 --> 00:07:49,221 I'll discuss another way to stop a pesky neighbor. 120 00:07:49,222 --> 00:07:51,123 You guessed it, electrical shock. 121 00:07:51,124 --> 00:07:52,991 (laughter) 122 00:07:52,992 --> 00:07:56,695 To demonstrate that, we've installed an invisible doggy fence. 123 00:07:56,696 --> 00:07:59,431 We have? Yes. Right through the floor here. 124 00:07:59,432 --> 00:08:03,335 Now, foo foo wears a special collar. 125 00:08:03,336 --> 00:08:06,738 When attached to him, it activates the fence. 126 00:08:06,739 --> 00:08:09,308 If foo foo were dumb enough to try to stray, 127 00:08:09,309 --> 00:08:11,510 He gets a mild, correctional shock. 128 00:08:11,511 --> 00:08:13,812 Grr. 129 00:08:13,813 --> 00:08:15,680 (buzzing) (yelping) 130 00:08:15,681 --> 00:08:17,682 Grr! 131 00:08:17,683 --> 00:08:19,451 (buzzing) (yelping) 132 00:08:19,452 --> 00:08:24,022 Now, this will work on that pesky neighbor... 133 00:08:24,023 --> 00:08:27,359 If you can get him to wear the collar. (laughter) 134 00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:29,761 Al, won't you be my neighbor? 135 00:08:29,762 --> 00:08:31,263 (laughter and applause) 136 00:08:33,266 --> 00:08:36,535 I don't think so, tim. Let's get back to building that fence. 137 00:08:36,536 --> 00:08:37,836 We're gonna need more slats, 138 00:08:37,837 --> 00:08:40,805 So if you'll walk over and grab those slats for me, 139 00:08:40,806 --> 00:08:42,574 We can finish it. 140 00:08:42,575 --> 00:08:44,576 Sure thing. 141 00:08:51,151 --> 00:08:53,385 Could you get me those nails there, tim? 142 00:09:02,595 --> 00:09:03,962 (buzzing) 143 00:09:03,963 --> 00:09:05,964 (laughter) 144 00:09:09,836 --> 00:09:12,904 So I said to the salesman, "either give me a new pair of pantyhose, 145 00:09:12,905 --> 00:09:14,973 Or I'll strangle you with these." 146 00:09:14,974 --> 00:09:18,310 Marie, you are so good with people. 147 00:09:18,311 --> 00:09:20,111 You know, you gotta love you. 148 00:09:20,112 --> 00:09:22,447 I learned that in therapy. 149 00:09:22,448 --> 00:09:25,617 This may come as a surprise to you, but I used to be a meek person. 150 00:09:25,618 --> 00:09:28,453 Oh, so was I. Until we moved to texas. 151 00:09:28,454 --> 00:09:31,356 You can't be meek in texas - it's a state law. 152 00:09:33,025 --> 00:09:35,627 Can you get this? Oh, yeah. 153 00:09:35,628 --> 00:09:39,231 Thanks a lot, jill. I know I'll find ours as soon as I finish unpacking. 154 00:09:39,232 --> 00:09:42,133 Don't worry about it. We always have extra toasters. 155 00:09:42,134 --> 00:09:45,370 Tim goes through them quickly. (chuckles) 156 00:09:45,371 --> 00:09:49,040 How about a piece of cake? I'd love some. 157 00:09:49,041 --> 00:09:50,875 But I really shouldn't - 158 00:09:50,876 --> 00:09:52,911 My therapist says I have food issues. 159 00:09:52,912 --> 00:09:55,547 Oh, please! Who doesn't? 160 00:09:55,548 --> 00:09:59,117 So you're in therapy? Yeah. Started two weeks ago. 161 00:09:59,118 --> 00:10:01,286 I got a coupon. 162 00:10:03,122 --> 00:10:06,191 Discount therapy! This is an interesting idea. 163 00:10:06,192 --> 00:10:07,492 Maybe I shouldn't tempt you. 164 00:10:07,493 --> 00:10:12,364 What does that therapist know? He accepts coupons! 165 00:10:12,365 --> 00:10:14,566 So how about a little piece, then? 166 00:10:14,567 --> 00:10:17,302 How about a big hunk? Ok! 167 00:10:17,303 --> 00:10:20,772 Tim, I want you to come over here and meet marie. 168 00:10:20,773 --> 00:10:24,843 She's volunteered to help me with the library fundraiser. You finally hooked somebody. 169 00:10:24,844 --> 00:10:27,679 Yeah. I got a piece of cake out of the deal, too. Nice to meet you, marie. 170 00:10:27,680 --> 00:10:29,381 Hi, handsome. Thank you. There you go. 171 00:10:29,382 --> 00:10:31,916 I want to sit and chitchat, but I'm gonna go put the grill on. 172 00:10:31,917 --> 00:10:33,151 I'll show it to you later. 173 00:10:33,152 --> 00:10:35,387 I thought you already did that today. 174 00:10:35,388 --> 00:10:37,556 I didn't tell you. I met our new neighbor, 175 00:10:37,557 --> 00:10:41,460 Mr. Meat man, mr. Obnoxious. 176 00:10:41,461 --> 00:10:45,063 This guy comes over, breaks the grill... 177 00:10:45,064 --> 00:10:47,599 Did he happen to give you a pen? 178 00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:49,668 Yeah, with a big cow on. Know the guy? 179 00:10:49,669 --> 00:10:52,937 Mm, I'm married to him. Oh, yeah! 180 00:10:56,509 --> 00:11:01,313 Wait a minute. I said "obnoxious" - I meant "gregarious." 181 00:11:01,314 --> 00:11:03,214 Listen, no need to explain to me. 182 00:11:03,215 --> 00:11:05,984 I call him a lot worse, believe me. 183 00:11:05,985 --> 00:11:07,986 I gotta go home, jill. I gotta cook some supper. 184 00:11:07,987 --> 00:11:10,255 But you didn't finish your cake! I'm taking it with me. 185 00:11:10,256 --> 00:11:13,825 Oh, ok. I'll walk you out. All right. See you later, dollface. 186 00:11:13,826 --> 00:11:15,860 Nice to meet you. Oh, tim. 187 00:11:15,861 --> 00:11:19,030 While I'm gone, can you try to get your foot out of your mouth? 188 00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:23,635 I'm gonna pound you! Hey, hey, cut it out. 189 00:11:23,636 --> 00:11:26,772 You're supposed to be setting the table. What's going on? 190 00:11:26,773 --> 00:11:31,242 Word got out about lover boy's idea to meet girls. 191 00:11:31,243 --> 00:11:34,479 Every guy in the seventh grade signed up for home ec. 192 00:11:36,816 --> 00:11:42,654 Dad, they put us in separate class - 30 boys and no girls. 193 00:11:42,655 --> 00:11:45,724 And we have to sew! 194 00:11:45,725 --> 00:11:47,392 I'd like to help you out, brad, I really would. 195 00:11:47,393 --> 00:11:50,529 But I got a whole drawer full of socks that need darning. 196 00:11:50,530 --> 00:11:51,863 Man! 197 00:11:51,864 --> 00:11:54,899 And maybe after that you can crochet me a sweater. 198 00:11:54,900 --> 00:11:56,635 Yeah. 199 00:11:56,636 --> 00:12:00,071 You gotta still set that table! No running in the house! 200 00:12:00,072 --> 00:12:02,641 Nice going, as usual, tim! 201 00:12:02,642 --> 00:12:06,411 I smoothed it over, though. We're having dinner with joe and marie on Saturday. 202 00:12:06,412 --> 00:12:09,548 We don't wanna do that! 203 00:12:09,549 --> 00:12:11,350 I do. I like marie. 204 00:12:11,351 --> 00:12:13,385 I don't like joe. You don't know that guy. 205 00:12:13,386 --> 00:12:15,354 You only spent a couple of minutes with him. 206 00:12:15,355 --> 00:12:18,357 And he's loud, obnoxious, thinks he knows about cars. 207 00:12:18,358 --> 00:12:21,226 Why does this sound familiar? 208 00:12:21,227 --> 00:12:26,398 Oh, look, you like marie? Why don't you go out with marie? 209 00:12:26,399 --> 00:12:29,334 Come on, they're new in the neighborhood. They don't know anybody. 210 00:12:29,335 --> 00:12:32,604 Besides, it's an opportunity for us to go out with another couple for a change. 211 00:12:32,605 --> 00:12:35,741 Well, pick another couple. How about jack and suzanne? 212 00:12:35,742 --> 00:12:37,743 They don't like you. 213 00:12:40,045 --> 00:12:42,414 We could go out with the couple we went out with last weekend? 214 00:12:42,415 --> 00:12:45,717 Al and his mother do not constitute a couple. 215 00:12:47,820 --> 00:12:50,989 Al's mother by herself constitutes a couple. "where's the meat?" 216 00:12:53,559 --> 00:12:54,826 You're going! 217 00:13:05,905 --> 00:13:09,274 Grr! 218 00:13:09,275 --> 00:13:11,676 I'll tell you what. Let's just go to the salad bar - 219 00:13:11,677 --> 00:13:13,578 We can be out of here in one hour. 220 00:13:13,579 --> 00:13:15,113 Oh, right. And if we don't chew, 221 00:13:15,114 --> 00:13:17,148 We can be out of here in five minutes. 222 00:13:19,285 --> 00:13:22,086 Hey, tool man! Oh! 223 00:13:22,087 --> 00:13:23,988 Finally, I'm meeting mrs. Tool man. 224 00:13:23,989 --> 00:13:25,223 Honey, honey, her name's jill. 225 00:13:25,224 --> 00:13:28,092 Hey, jill. Hi, joe. 226 00:13:28,093 --> 00:13:30,228 Come here. I'm a hugger. I'm a shaker. 227 00:13:32,632 --> 00:13:34,499 Sit down! Sit down, please. 228 00:13:34,500 --> 00:13:36,735 Oh, thank you. Thank you. 229 00:13:36,736 --> 00:13:39,203 Tonight everything's on the meat man. 230 00:13:39,204 --> 00:13:43,274 Don't look at the prices. Order whatever you want. Ah, chicken I'll have. 231 00:13:43,275 --> 00:13:46,545 You don't come to a place like the chuck house for chicken. You want steak. 232 00:13:46,546 --> 00:13:47,813 Honey, let him order what he wants. 233 00:13:47,814 --> 00:13:49,748 Why don't you try the steak? 234 00:13:49,749 --> 00:13:52,383 I don't want the steak. I'd like the chicken. 235 00:13:52,384 --> 00:13:55,720 But you can get chicken anywhere. I like the chicken here. 236 00:13:55,721 --> 00:13:58,089 No, you want the steak here. They make it so rare, 237 00:13:58,090 --> 00:14:00,792 You need eight rolls to sop up the blood. 238 00:14:02,161 --> 00:14:04,395 I think I'll have the chicken. 239 00:14:04,396 --> 00:14:06,865 Jill, you gotta have the steak. 240 00:14:06,866 --> 00:14:08,834 It's just what the doctor ordered for your condition. 241 00:14:08,835 --> 00:14:11,636 What condition? Tell us about the steaks. 242 00:14:11,637 --> 00:14:15,039 I told you, she doesn't have a condition. Tim said she did. 243 00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:19,444 He's right you can go anywhere for chicken. Let's have steaks. 244 00:14:19,445 --> 00:14:22,347 And what condition would that be, tim? 245 00:14:22,348 --> 00:14:23,615 Tim said you got no pep 246 00:14:23,616 --> 00:14:26,685 And you stay in bed for days at a time. 247 00:14:26,686 --> 00:14:30,622 And why did you say that?! I didn't say that. 248 00:14:30,623 --> 00:14:32,457 Yeah, you did. I did not. 249 00:14:32,458 --> 00:14:34,125 Then what did you say? 250 00:14:38,397 --> 00:14:41,833 I was in the garage. I can't remember what I say in the garage 'cause of the fumes. 251 00:14:43,669 --> 00:14:46,070 Look, the drinks are here. Oh, boy. 252 00:14:46,071 --> 00:14:49,173 We didn't order any drinks. Joe took the liberty. 253 00:14:49,174 --> 00:14:51,643 For the three of us, I got cabernet sauvignon. 254 00:14:51,644 --> 00:14:54,679 And for you, jill, I got, uh... This. 255 00:14:54,680 --> 00:14:58,650 What is this? It's a shirley temple. 256 00:14:58,651 --> 00:15:02,253 Yeah, tim told me about your other little problem. 257 00:15:05,157 --> 00:15:08,994 Excuse me, waitress? Can you bring us some extra rolls, please? 258 00:15:08,995 --> 00:15:11,295 I'm gonna need 'em to sop up all the blood. 259 00:15:16,335 --> 00:15:18,203 (horror film on tv) 260 00:15:29,248 --> 00:15:31,650 I'm never gonna finish this stupid hat. 261 00:15:31,651 --> 00:15:36,521 Well, then you won't get a chance to make the skirt that goes with it. 262 00:15:36,522 --> 00:15:38,690 How'd you like a split lip? 263 00:15:38,691 --> 00:15:42,493 Great. You'd get extra credit for sewing it back up. 264 00:15:42,494 --> 00:15:46,731 Hey, hey! All right, all right! Cool down, you guys. 265 00:15:46,732 --> 00:15:48,667 Randy, don't make fun of your brother. 266 00:15:48,668 --> 00:15:53,705 Sewing is a valuable skill that has served me well. 267 00:15:53,706 --> 00:15:57,508 You know how to sew? You're darn tootin'! 268 00:15:57,509 --> 00:16:01,279 And I learned to sew in the navy. 269 00:16:01,280 --> 00:16:03,281 I didn't know you were in the navy. 270 00:16:03,282 --> 00:16:05,216 Signed up when I was 18. 271 00:16:05,217 --> 00:16:08,186 Wanted to travel the world, cast my fortune to the wind, 272 00:16:08,187 --> 00:16:10,521 Sail the seven seas. 273 00:16:10,522 --> 00:16:13,291 Where'd you sail? 274 00:16:13,292 --> 00:16:16,327 Nowhere. 275 00:16:16,328 --> 00:16:18,630 I was stationed in fallon, nevada. 276 00:16:20,967 --> 00:16:22,133 (garage door opening) 277 00:16:22,134 --> 00:16:23,668 Holy smokes, your folks are home! 278 00:16:23,669 --> 00:16:26,771 Quick, turn that off. Get up to bed. 279 00:16:26,772 --> 00:16:28,473 Mark! Mark, wake up. 280 00:16:28,474 --> 00:16:31,876 Wake up, you gotta go to sleep. 281 00:16:31,877 --> 00:16:34,345 But I was sleeping. 282 00:16:36,916 --> 00:16:40,451 Hi. Hey. So, how was the evening? 283 00:16:40,452 --> 00:16:43,354 Great. I'm hungry. I thought you went out to dinner. 284 00:16:43,355 --> 00:16:46,290 His steak was a little rare. 285 00:16:46,291 --> 00:16:48,927 A little rare? That steak had a bell on it! 286 00:16:52,865 --> 00:16:54,232 Where are those cookies? 287 00:16:54,233 --> 00:16:56,534 I ate them. 288 00:16:56,535 --> 00:16:58,136 All of 'em? 289 00:16:58,137 --> 00:17:01,039 You're not paying me. You said I could eat whatever I wanted. 290 00:17:01,040 --> 00:17:04,542 Don't pay any attention to him. 291 00:17:04,543 --> 00:17:09,280 He's probably just upset because his wife has severe emotional problems. 292 00:17:09,281 --> 00:17:12,583 I told joe that to get him out of the garage. We've discussed this. 293 00:17:12,584 --> 00:17:15,286 So you said, "my wife is a slug"? 294 00:17:16,856 --> 00:17:19,524 I was desperate. Where are those little sausages? 295 00:17:21,727 --> 00:17:24,529 Al, tim told our new neighbors 296 00:17:24,530 --> 00:17:28,533 That I was a depressed alcoholic with a sleeping disorder. 297 00:17:28,534 --> 00:17:31,002 Only an insensitive jerk would have repeated that. 298 00:17:31,003 --> 00:17:33,471 If you wanted those sausages, you should have told me. 299 00:17:33,472 --> 00:17:35,540 Would you shut up?! 300 00:17:35,541 --> 00:17:38,977 This isn't al's problem. No, the problem is the meat man. 301 00:17:38,978 --> 00:17:41,245 No, the problem is your brain serves no function 302 00:17:41,246 --> 00:17:43,214 Other than keeping your head from caving in! 303 00:17:50,322 --> 00:17:52,323 (softly) wilson. 304 00:17:53,525 --> 00:17:55,359 Wilson! 305 00:17:58,030 --> 00:17:59,363 Wilson. 306 00:18:10,042 --> 00:18:13,144 Tim? Wilson, you up? 307 00:18:14,780 --> 00:18:16,848 I am now. 308 00:18:16,849 --> 00:18:18,950 Have you ever had a real annoying neighbor? 309 00:18:24,824 --> 00:18:27,092 Tim, is this a trick question? 310 00:18:29,028 --> 00:18:31,129 No, I'm talking about that guy next door to me. 311 00:18:31,130 --> 00:18:33,064 He just moved in - joe. 312 00:18:33,065 --> 00:18:35,533 He's already bugging me. 313 00:18:37,069 --> 00:18:39,670 I know the feeling, tim. 314 00:18:39,671 --> 00:18:42,440 That guy is such a pain in the butt. 315 00:18:42,441 --> 00:18:44,475 Just being around him gives me a headache. 316 00:18:44,476 --> 00:18:47,345 Tim, you wouldn't happen to have an aspirin on you, would you? 317 00:18:47,346 --> 00:18:49,914 What would you do? 318 00:18:49,915 --> 00:18:53,084 Well, what I would do, when I'm face-to face with an irksome individual, 319 00:18:53,085 --> 00:18:56,921 I always say look for the good in people. 320 00:18:58,124 --> 00:19:00,925 Huh. And that works? Most of the time. 321 00:19:00,926 --> 00:19:02,526 And if it doesn't... 322 00:19:02,527 --> 00:19:03,962 I take his ball away. 323 00:19:11,737 --> 00:19:14,038 Hey, tool man. (clank) 324 00:19:14,039 --> 00:19:15,706 Boy, you're jumpy! 325 00:19:15,707 --> 00:19:17,508 Do you ever use the front door, joe? 326 00:19:17,509 --> 00:19:19,844 You really got me in hot water with your wife. 327 00:19:19,845 --> 00:19:22,814 I kept trying to figure out why you'd tell me a lie like that. 328 00:19:22,815 --> 00:19:26,584 Then it comes to me. 329 00:19:26,585 --> 00:19:30,088 You're having an affair, right? No, I'm not having an affair. 330 00:19:30,089 --> 00:19:34,058 Ok, then I know what it is. You hate me. 331 00:19:34,059 --> 00:19:35,693 I wouldn't say that... 332 00:19:35,694 --> 00:19:38,496 Hey, don't apologize. 333 00:19:38,497 --> 00:19:40,364 I know the meat man comes on strong sometimes. 334 00:19:40,365 --> 00:19:42,466 I'm not everybody's cut of beef. 335 00:19:44,369 --> 00:19:46,370 I'm sorry. 336 00:19:46,371 --> 00:19:49,573 Hey, look. I'm the one who should apologize for that stupid story. 337 00:19:49,574 --> 00:19:52,510 Well, I should learn how to let people eat chicken. 338 00:19:52,511 --> 00:19:54,946 Anyway, tool man, I got something for you. 339 00:19:54,947 --> 00:19:57,182 That's all right, joe. You didn't need to do that. 340 00:20:00,853 --> 00:20:02,586 Hey! 341 00:20:02,587 --> 00:20:04,722 Hey! 342 00:20:04,723 --> 00:20:06,257 This is an original '33. 343 00:20:06,258 --> 00:20:09,727 Yeah, well, I felt real bad about denting your fake one. 344 00:20:12,264 --> 00:20:16,000 These are impossible to find. I looked for two years. Not for the meat man. 345 00:20:16,001 --> 00:20:18,169 I called in a few favors, drove to ohio, 346 00:20:18,170 --> 00:20:20,839 Bingo-bango, you got yourself a grill. 347 00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:23,441 The grill of my dreams! 348 00:20:25,577 --> 00:20:30,281 This must have cost a fortune. Don't worry about it. I'm doing great. 349 00:20:30,282 --> 00:20:33,818 When the hot rod's all done, give me a spin around the block, we'll call it even, ok? 350 00:20:33,819 --> 00:20:36,287 You got it. See you around, buddy. 351 00:20:38,123 --> 00:20:40,524 Thanks, joe. 352 00:20:41,861 --> 00:20:44,762 Was that joe's voice I heard? Yeah. 353 00:20:44,763 --> 00:20:46,397 Look what he did. 354 00:20:46,398 --> 00:20:50,601 He found an original grill for the '33 - an original! 355 00:20:50,602 --> 00:20:54,505 You know, like I always say, 356 00:20:54,506 --> 00:20:58,343 You just gotta find the good in people. 357 00:20:58,344 --> 00:21:00,311 So now you like the meat man? 358 00:21:00,312 --> 00:21:02,413 (grunts) yeah, I like meat man. 359 00:21:02,414 --> 00:21:06,951 And honey, I apologize for making up that stupid story. I was out of line. 360 00:21:06,952 --> 00:21:11,189 But you know what? If you and marie want to go out as a couples, I'm in. 361 00:21:11,190 --> 00:21:14,392 Marie and I definitely wanna go out as couples. All right. 362 00:21:14,393 --> 00:21:16,794 We just gotta find two other guys. 363 00:21:21,267 --> 00:21:25,870 Yeah, jerry. Oh, you want us to see your vacation videos? 364 00:21:25,871 --> 00:21:28,839 Oh, that's too bad. We can't do it. 365 00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:31,509 No, no. Tim's working late. 366 00:21:31,510 --> 00:21:33,945 No, he's not here. 367 00:21:33,946 --> 00:21:37,115 I'm so sorry. Maybe some other time. 368 00:21:37,116 --> 00:21:40,251 Ok, bye-bye. 369 00:21:40,252 --> 00:21:44,488 Liar, liar, bra's on fire! 370 00:21:44,489 --> 00:21:46,324 So you wanna go to over to jerry and sheila's, 371 00:21:46,325 --> 00:21:48,692 And watch them argue their way through europe? 372 00:21:48,693 --> 00:21:51,996 That's not the point. Why is it I can't lie about you and you can lie about me? 373 00:21:51,997 --> 00:21:54,899 Because I'm better at it! 374 00:21:54,900 --> 00:21:58,369 Tim, if you're gonna lie about me, you have to use common sense. 375 00:21:58,370 --> 00:22:02,773 Wait. Hold on. We have to find another guideline. 376 00:22:02,774 --> 00:22:05,810 Why don't we just sit down and discuss acceptable lies and non-acceptable lies. 377 00:22:05,811 --> 00:22:08,413 Ok, ok. I'll give you some, all right? 378 00:22:08,414 --> 00:22:10,214 Lie number one... 379 00:22:10,215 --> 00:22:12,550 "I can't go out tonight 380 00:22:12,551 --> 00:22:16,520 Because my wife is accepting a mother of the year award." 381 00:22:18,457 --> 00:22:21,725 Ok. All right, lie number two. 382 00:22:21,726 --> 00:22:25,964 "I can't go out tonight because my wife is finishing her third book." 383 00:22:25,965 --> 00:22:29,467 Reading it or writing it? Very funny! 384 00:22:29,468 --> 00:22:32,403 All right, I'm getting the vibe. 385 00:22:32,404 --> 00:22:36,040 "we can't go out tonight because my wife is braiding her back hair." 386 00:22:41,780 --> 00:22:43,581 Not acceptable! A little over the top? 387 00:22:43,582 --> 00:22:44,983 Yeah. All right. 388 00:22:44,984 --> 00:22:46,851 "I can't go out tonight because my wife will be 389 00:22:46,852 --> 00:22:49,153 Hugging me and smothering me in romantic kisses." 390 00:22:49,154 --> 00:22:51,755 Acceptable, but nauseating. Ok. 391 00:22:56,428 --> 00:23:00,431 I always say look for the good in people. 392 00:23:00,432 --> 00:23:02,533 And that works? Most of the time. 393 00:23:02,534 --> 00:23:04,668 And if it doesn't... 394 00:23:04,669 --> 00:23:07,405 I miss the ball! 395 00:23:07,406 --> 00:23:11,809 I always say look for the good in people. 396 00:23:11,810 --> 00:23:14,012 And that works? Most of the time.