1 00:00:01,354 --> 00:00:03,355 Guys, here she comes. Get ready. 2 00:00:05,291 --> 00:00:08,227 Mom, my mouth hurts. 3 00:00:18,839 --> 00:00:21,540 You see what happens when you don't floss? 4 00:00:22,676 --> 00:00:27,346 Hey, all right. Blood capsules. Cool. 5 00:00:27,347 --> 00:00:29,381 You know what goes really good with those? 6 00:00:29,382 --> 00:00:30,449 (brad) what? 7 00:00:30,450 --> 00:00:32,217 Hi, baby. Hi, sweetie. 8 00:00:32,218 --> 00:00:34,854 Pus pellets. (jill) ew! 9 00:00:34,855 --> 00:00:37,189 I got yellow and green ones, enough for all you guys, 10 00:00:37,190 --> 00:00:39,391 But don't squeeze 'em until Halloween. 11 00:00:39,392 --> 00:00:41,326 All right. 12 00:00:41,327 --> 00:00:45,131 Oh, dad. Now we have all this Halloween junk. 13 00:00:45,132 --> 00:00:49,334 Skeletons, brains and mummy-wrapping tape. 14 00:00:49,335 --> 00:00:51,937 Gotta have wrapping tape. You don't want to see your mummy naked. 15 00:00:51,938 --> 00:00:54,406 Ha-ha-ha-ha. Very funny. 16 00:00:54,407 --> 00:00:57,442 Dad, I don't see any rubber guts. 17 00:00:57,443 --> 00:01:00,412 How can we have a Halloween party without rubber guts? 18 00:01:00,413 --> 00:01:03,415 Let me tell you something, little mister. 19 00:01:03,416 --> 00:01:06,886 When I was your age, we didn't have rubber guts. 20 00:01:06,887 --> 00:01:09,621 We had to use real guts. 21 00:01:09,622 --> 00:01:12,692 This is why you're lucky to have two parents. 22 00:01:12,693 --> 00:01:15,494 I got these from the rubber-guts catalog. 23 00:01:15,495 --> 00:01:17,329 (boys) all right. 24 00:01:17,330 --> 00:01:21,366 Here's your stomach, your large intestine, a spleen, some colon. 25 00:01:21,367 --> 00:01:23,669 Mom, you are too cool. Thank you, sweetie. 26 00:01:23,670 --> 00:01:25,738 Oh, good! You got the carrot cake. 27 00:01:25,739 --> 00:01:27,907 They did a great job. They got those candy corns 28 00:01:27,908 --> 00:01:30,176 In the shape of jack-o'-lanterns. Look at this thing. 29 00:01:30,177 --> 00:01:31,443 Aah! 30 00:02:44,217 --> 00:02:46,418 What do you think? Could we put the kids in the middle? 31 00:02:52,125 --> 00:02:55,995 As you can see, with the binford light oak stain, 32 00:02:55,996 --> 00:02:58,530 You get a nice... 33 00:02:58,531 --> 00:02:59,832 Honey-colored... 34 00:02:59,833 --> 00:03:02,168 (mouths) 35 00:03:03,736 --> 00:03:04,937 ...Finish. 36 00:03:07,340 --> 00:03:08,908 That's right, al. 37 00:03:08,909 --> 00:03:11,343 When you're all finished with this, 38 00:03:11,344 --> 00:03:13,712 You wanna put a thin coat of binford polyurethane on there. 39 00:03:13,713 --> 00:03:16,615 Now binford provides this in an economical two-gallon size. 40 00:03:16,616 --> 00:03:19,518 Al, you want to pop the top? Be glad to, tim. 41 00:03:19,519 --> 00:03:21,320 Aah! 42 00:03:25,091 --> 00:03:27,726 Al... Al... Al... 43 00:03:27,727 --> 00:03:31,463 Al... Al. 44 00:03:31,464 --> 00:03:33,465 I can't believe you fell for 45 00:03:33,466 --> 00:03:35,935 The old "head in the polyurethane" gag. 46 00:03:35,936 --> 00:03:39,404 I guess this must mean Halloween is just around the corner. 47 00:03:39,405 --> 00:03:41,874 Or else you've found a sick new way 48 00:03:41,875 --> 00:03:44,710 To celebrate columbus day. 49 00:03:44,711 --> 00:03:47,412 Nope, Halloween. 50 00:03:47,413 --> 00:03:49,381 No, no, no, no, no! 51 00:03:52,052 --> 00:03:55,221 I can see by the clock on the wall that we have... 52 00:03:55,222 --> 00:03:56,856 Way too many minutes left. 53 00:03:56,857 --> 00:03:59,558 So we can do a quick pose-off, al and I. 54 00:03:59,559 --> 00:04:02,061 (imitates schwarzenegger) come on, maria, show me your biceps. 55 00:04:04,130 --> 00:04:05,998 Or we could get to some viewer mail. 56 00:04:05,999 --> 00:04:07,532 Heidi, the mail, please. 57 00:04:10,003 --> 00:04:12,137 Here you go, tim. This one came with cookies. 58 00:04:12,138 --> 00:04:15,307 Hey. And a rose! 59 00:04:15,308 --> 00:04:17,776 All right. 60 00:04:17,777 --> 00:04:20,913 "dear tim, I'm your biggest fan. 61 00:04:20,914 --> 00:04:25,617 "I watch you every day and dream about you every night. 62 00:04:25,618 --> 00:04:28,320 I hope you like these cookies I baked." you bet I will. 63 00:04:28,321 --> 00:04:32,391 "your admirer, rose." this is the second letter I've gotten from rose this week. 64 00:04:32,392 --> 00:04:35,261 Did you hear that, al? She dreams about me every night. 65 00:04:35,262 --> 00:04:37,963 It sounds like she has a sleeping disorder. 66 00:04:47,274 --> 00:04:50,542 Al, don't be jealous, don't be jealous. 67 00:04:50,543 --> 00:04:52,878 You'll get some letters one day. Change your name to "occupant." 68 00:04:57,350 --> 00:04:59,584 That wouldn't be necessary, tim. 69 00:04:59,585 --> 00:05:01,586 Heidi, my mail, please. 70 00:05:05,091 --> 00:05:06,425 Here you go, al. 71 00:05:06,426 --> 00:05:09,194 Thank you, heidi. You're welcome. 72 00:05:09,195 --> 00:05:11,763 If tim's face appears green, don't adjust your tv. 73 00:05:11,764 --> 00:05:14,066 It's just envy. 74 00:05:14,067 --> 00:05:17,403 Yeah, but anybody can get letters like that. 75 00:05:17,404 --> 00:05:19,204 I got cookies. 76 00:05:19,205 --> 00:05:21,006 Boys! 77 00:05:29,849 --> 00:05:32,651 I really am grateful to you for helping me with this party. 78 00:05:32,652 --> 00:05:35,554 What else have I got to do? Joe's out of town. 79 00:05:35,555 --> 00:05:38,623 I can think of a few things I'd like to do when tim's out of town. 80 00:05:38,624 --> 00:05:41,327 Like what? (door closes) 81 00:05:41,328 --> 00:05:42,761 Change the locks. 82 00:05:44,164 --> 00:05:45,797 Hi, honey. 83 00:05:47,267 --> 00:05:49,034 (jill) whoa! 84 00:05:51,604 --> 00:05:54,806 You should start scrubbing with a stronger soap. 85 00:05:57,643 --> 00:06:00,412 Oh, no. What's gonna pop out of that? 86 00:06:00,413 --> 00:06:02,514 Nothing. That's some cookies a fan made me. 87 00:06:02,515 --> 00:06:05,517 Yeah, right. You have a fan. 88 00:06:07,087 --> 00:06:10,655 Her name is rose, and she sent me two letters this week. 89 00:06:10,656 --> 00:06:12,691 Let's see. No! Don't touch that. 90 00:06:12,692 --> 00:06:15,995 It's probably full of slimy eyeballs or something. 91 00:06:15,996 --> 00:06:18,797 Ooh! Cookies! Give me one. No. You made fun of me. 92 00:06:18,798 --> 00:06:21,033 How about me? No. You're her friend. 93 00:06:22,502 --> 00:06:23,535 Hey, dad. Hi, mom. 94 00:06:23,536 --> 00:06:25,804 Hey, guys. Hi, sweetie. 95 00:06:25,805 --> 00:06:27,806 Ooh, nice warts. 96 00:06:27,807 --> 00:06:31,743 Yeah? Wait till you see what I got your mom. 97 00:06:31,744 --> 00:06:34,613 I got her the biggest, hairiest mole they make. 98 00:06:34,614 --> 00:06:36,448 Ooh. 99 00:06:36,449 --> 00:06:39,684 This is gonna go well with that armpit hair you gave me last Halloween. 100 00:06:39,685 --> 00:06:40,986 Is that good? 101 00:06:40,987 --> 00:06:43,622 Hey, guys, what are you gonna be for Halloween? 102 00:06:43,623 --> 00:06:45,491 We're gonna be the three stooges. 103 00:06:45,492 --> 00:06:48,627 Yes! That's great! 104 00:06:48,628 --> 00:06:51,163 I grew up with those guys. I love those guys. The stooges. 105 00:06:51,164 --> 00:06:54,299 Moe for his leadership qualities. 106 00:06:54,300 --> 00:06:56,668 Larry for his quick wit. 107 00:06:56,669 --> 00:06:58,937 Curly for his ability to go, "whoo-whoo-whoo!" 108 00:06:58,938 --> 00:07:00,339 (both) whoo-whoo-whoo. 109 00:07:00,340 --> 00:07:02,741 Of all the people in the world, why do you wanna be the stooges? 110 00:07:02,742 --> 00:07:04,743 They're obnoxious, they're constantly hitting each other... 111 00:07:04,744 --> 00:07:07,479 It just became clear. 112 00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:12,717 What is it with the stooges? All men seem to adore them, even the smart ones. 113 00:07:12,718 --> 00:07:14,853 I don't think that einstein did. 114 00:07:14,854 --> 00:07:18,223 Are you kidding? Einstein was a big stooge fan. 115 00:07:18,224 --> 00:07:20,859 Why do you think he wore his hair like larry's? 116 00:07:25,598 --> 00:07:28,800 Yeah, that'll work. That'll scare everybody. 117 00:07:28,801 --> 00:07:30,536 (phone rings) 118 00:07:30,537 --> 00:07:32,171 Oh. Hang in there. 119 00:07:36,809 --> 00:07:38,610 Y-ello. Happy Halloween. Boo. 120 00:07:41,347 --> 00:07:43,449 Rose? 121 00:07:43,450 --> 00:07:46,351 Rose - cookie rose? Sure, I got the cookies. Thank you very much. 122 00:07:46,352 --> 00:07:47,453 What? 123 00:07:47,454 --> 00:07:50,055 You're in love with me? 124 00:07:50,056 --> 00:07:52,191 You want me? 125 00:07:52,192 --> 00:07:55,594 It's a gag, jill. It's not that funny. 126 00:07:55,595 --> 00:07:59,698 Of course you're not jill. Oh, no. How silly of me. No, no. 127 00:07:59,699 --> 00:08:01,866 In that case, I love you, too. 128 00:08:01,867 --> 00:08:05,104 Yes. We should go some... Alone, alone. 129 00:08:06,872 --> 00:08:09,475 Jill won't know. Yeah, my wife, she's real slow. 130 00:08:10,810 --> 00:08:13,245 Excuse me? Yeah, jill, yeah. 131 00:08:13,246 --> 00:08:15,647 Hi, ji - jill, you're not on the phone? 132 00:08:15,648 --> 00:08:18,417 And you call me slow? 133 00:08:18,418 --> 00:08:21,120 That means this is rose, the woman that sent me the cookies. 134 00:08:21,121 --> 00:08:22,787 She says she wants me. 135 00:08:22,788 --> 00:08:25,657 Tell her she can have you. 136 00:08:25,658 --> 00:08:28,527 You tell her. You can have him. 137 00:08:28,528 --> 00:08:30,229 Hello? Hello? 138 00:08:30,230 --> 00:08:33,031 There is no one here, tim. You are so full of it! 139 00:08:33,032 --> 00:08:35,234 Is a little head gonna pop out of here now? 140 00:08:35,235 --> 00:08:38,337 No. She was on the phone. 141 00:08:38,338 --> 00:08:40,472 How could she get our number? It's unlisted. 142 00:08:40,473 --> 00:08:43,041 How the heck do I know? But rose was on the phone. 143 00:08:43,042 --> 00:08:45,844 Yeah, right. Look, tim, I know how badly you want a fan. 144 00:08:45,845 --> 00:08:48,680 Just hang in there. One of these days, you'll get one. 145 00:08:56,456 --> 00:08:57,523 Hey, wilson. 146 00:08:57,524 --> 00:09:00,058 Hi-dee-ho and boo, good neighbor. 147 00:09:01,727 --> 00:09:04,696 Hey, let me ask you a question. 148 00:09:04,697 --> 00:09:07,633 Let's say you wanted my phone number. How would you get it? 149 00:09:07,634 --> 00:09:09,701 I already have your phone number. 150 00:09:09,702 --> 00:09:12,137 I know. What if you didn't have it? 151 00:09:12,138 --> 00:09:14,273 I suppose I'd just ask you for it. What if you didn't know me? 152 00:09:14,274 --> 00:09:16,408 Then why would I want to call you? 153 00:09:18,378 --> 00:09:21,079 Boy, I wish I was friendly with some of the other neighbors around here. 154 00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:22,914 (laughs) 155 00:09:24,850 --> 00:09:27,252 What is troubling you, my little fence friend? 156 00:09:27,253 --> 00:09:29,288 All right. 157 00:09:29,289 --> 00:09:32,658 I got kind of an odd call by this woman who sent me a fan letter at work. 158 00:09:32,659 --> 00:09:34,660 My phone number's unlisted. 159 00:09:34,661 --> 00:09:36,828 Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. 160 00:09:36,829 --> 00:09:40,666 That is a concern. I hope you're not dealing with an obsessed fan. 161 00:09:40,667 --> 00:09:42,767 No, no, no, no, tim. 162 00:09:42,768 --> 00:09:45,937 Sometimes they see somebody on tv, they start idolizing that person. 163 00:09:45,938 --> 00:09:48,440 Sometimes they even send them gifts. 164 00:09:51,377 --> 00:09:53,378 Like chocolate macadamia nut cookies? 165 00:09:53,379 --> 00:09:55,681 That's a good and tasty possibility. 166 00:09:55,682 --> 00:09:59,284 Though I'd be very cautious about eating anything that they send. 167 00:10:08,828 --> 00:10:12,331 Oh, marie, it is going so well. 168 00:10:12,332 --> 00:10:16,268 This is gonna get tim back for every Halloween prank he ever pulled on me. 169 00:10:16,269 --> 00:10:18,870 The severed thumb in my jell-o. 170 00:10:18,871 --> 00:10:21,640 Yeah, the tarantula in my underwear drawer. 171 00:10:21,641 --> 00:10:23,709 Well, wilson is in on it, too. 172 00:10:23,710 --> 00:10:26,612 Yeah, yeah. He's freaking him out even more. 173 00:10:35,955 --> 00:10:38,156 Tim, I wouldn't worry about it. 174 00:10:38,157 --> 00:10:41,926 If the cookies were poisoned, you'd feel the effects by now. 175 00:10:41,927 --> 00:10:47,366 I don't know. I got this burning-bile feeling in there now. 176 00:10:47,367 --> 00:10:49,134 You're gonna be fine. 177 00:10:49,135 --> 00:10:52,271 Listen, I'll talk to you later, marie. 178 00:10:52,272 --> 00:10:53,505 I mean, I should say... 179 00:10:53,506 --> 00:10:55,507 (soft and seductive) rose. 180 00:10:55,508 --> 00:10:58,710 (evil laugh) 181 00:10:58,711 --> 00:10:59,944 Yeah. Bye. 182 00:11:10,790 --> 00:11:12,157 (doorbell rings) 183 00:11:30,242 --> 00:11:31,943 Is that you, rose? 184 00:11:31,944 --> 00:11:35,180 Hello. Nice to see you, too. 185 00:11:35,181 --> 00:11:37,316 Sorry. I thought you were some crazed wacko. 186 00:11:37,317 --> 00:11:39,951 Oh, I'm just your run-of-the-mill wacko. 187 00:11:39,952 --> 00:11:43,288 Tim, put the bat down. I'm so sorry, marie. 188 00:11:43,289 --> 00:11:45,557 Remember that woman that sent him the cookies? 189 00:11:45,558 --> 00:11:48,360 He's convinced that she's obsessed with him. 190 00:11:48,361 --> 00:11:51,663 You want some coffee? Yeah, I'd love some. 191 00:11:51,664 --> 00:11:55,867 Wilson said sometimes obsessed fans will send you poisoned food. 192 00:11:55,868 --> 00:11:57,869 Ooh! That's true. 193 00:11:57,870 --> 00:12:00,004 Those cookies had a lot of butter in them. 194 00:12:00,005 --> 00:12:02,040 Butter's very high in cholesterol. 195 00:12:02,041 --> 00:12:04,976 She could be trying to kill you slowly. 196 00:12:04,977 --> 00:12:08,580 Tim, I got some jack-o'-lanterns in the car. Will you get 'em for me? 197 00:12:08,581 --> 00:12:10,081 You bet. Sure. 198 00:12:10,082 --> 00:12:13,985 Unless you are afraid that rose is hiding in the backseat. 199 00:12:13,986 --> 00:12:16,555 (hisses) 200 00:12:16,556 --> 00:12:19,524 You want some cream or sugar? No, thanks. 201 00:12:19,525 --> 00:12:21,793 (door closes) he really looks nervous. 202 00:12:21,794 --> 00:12:24,396 Yeah, he's a total wreck. Isn't it great? 203 00:12:24,397 --> 00:12:26,631 It's the very best prank I've seen 204 00:12:26,632 --> 00:12:29,300 Since we superglued grandma to the toilet seat. 205 00:12:31,237 --> 00:12:32,303 You what? 206 00:12:32,304 --> 00:12:34,473 Hey, she wasn't my grandma. 207 00:12:34,474 --> 00:12:35,741 (laughs) 208 00:12:35,742 --> 00:12:38,410 Here he comes. 209 00:12:38,411 --> 00:12:41,112 Jill, I think you should take this rose thing seriously. 210 00:12:41,113 --> 00:12:43,147 I'm in therapy, so I know for a fact 211 00:12:43,148 --> 00:12:45,183 There are a lot of nuts out there. 212 00:12:45,184 --> 00:12:48,787 But why would anyone be obsessed with tim? 213 00:12:48,788 --> 00:12:51,523 Because I'm very obsessable. 214 00:12:51,524 --> 00:12:55,761 Oh, tim. I'm married to you, and I barely think about you. 215 00:12:57,196 --> 00:12:59,631 You think this is real funny, don't you? 216 00:12:59,632 --> 00:13:02,367 There could be a woman out there fantasizing about me right now. 217 00:13:02,368 --> 00:13:05,937 What is she fantasizing, that you come over to her house late at night, 218 00:13:05,938 --> 00:13:08,840 Bring some wine and blow up her garbage disposal? 219 00:13:12,111 --> 00:13:14,112 Jill, I don't think you should joke about this. 220 00:13:14,113 --> 00:13:16,147 These people can be dangerous. 221 00:13:16,148 --> 00:13:18,149 Do you really think so? 222 00:13:18,150 --> 00:13:20,285 I think tim should watch his step. 223 00:13:20,286 --> 00:13:23,321 Yeah. Thanks. You're welcome. 224 00:13:23,322 --> 00:13:27,325 Well, maybe you're right. Tim, I think you should phone in sick today. 225 00:13:27,326 --> 00:13:32,163 No way. I will not live my life in fear. 226 00:13:32,164 --> 00:13:33,899 D-oh! 227 00:13:38,404 --> 00:13:40,405 That unkinked my colon. 228 00:13:40,406 --> 00:13:42,040 Get out of the way! 229 00:13:46,979 --> 00:13:48,914 Hey, al. Tim? 230 00:13:48,915 --> 00:13:51,850 Did you notice whether there were any women in the audience today? 231 00:13:51,851 --> 00:13:54,619 I didn't notice, but there's always a few. Why? 232 00:13:54,620 --> 00:13:57,489 No reason. Hey, do me a favor. 233 00:13:57,490 --> 00:14:00,525 Would you go out there and see if any of them look... Obsessed? 234 00:14:01,661 --> 00:14:03,962 Obsessed? 235 00:14:03,963 --> 00:14:09,167 Yeah. The same look you get when you're sitting in front of a plate of pancakes. 236 00:14:09,168 --> 00:14:12,471 And here they are, those two guys who are no fools when it comes to tools - 237 00:14:12,472 --> 00:14:14,639 Tim taylor and al borland! 238 00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:16,508 Whoo! 239 00:14:16,509 --> 00:14:18,677 (applause and cheering) 240 00:14:20,513 --> 00:14:24,415 Thank you. Welcome to tool time. 241 00:14:33,125 --> 00:14:35,393 Golly, there's a lot of women in the audience today, heidi. 242 00:14:35,394 --> 00:14:38,229 That's right, tim. This afternoon, we're honored to have with us 243 00:14:38,230 --> 00:14:40,765 The women's sharpshooters club of detroit! 244 00:14:44,103 --> 00:14:47,205 Well, welcome, sharpshooters. 245 00:14:49,108 --> 00:14:51,109 I am tim taylor. This is tool time. 246 00:14:51,110 --> 00:14:53,945 You all know my assistant - al "bull's-eye" borland. 247 00:14:55,681 --> 00:14:58,049 You know, a lot of people don't know 248 00:14:58,050 --> 00:15:01,285 That tool time isn't just about home improvement. 249 00:15:02,622 --> 00:15:05,857 It's also about frisking people. 250 00:15:07,527 --> 00:15:10,094 Would you take the honors today, al? 251 00:15:10,095 --> 00:15:12,931 I don't think so, tim. 252 00:15:12,932 --> 00:15:16,601 Today, we're going to be talking about insulating windows. 253 00:15:16,602 --> 00:15:18,169 Yes, we are. 254 00:15:21,440 --> 00:15:23,842 Caulking, window insulation... 255 00:15:23,843 --> 00:15:27,679 And that's all the time we have. Have a safe drive home. 256 00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:30,649 Tim. Tim! Tim! 257 00:15:30,650 --> 00:15:32,584 Come in to the crowd. Get the crowd. 258 00:15:32,585 --> 00:15:36,054 I wanna see the whole audience. Focus. I gotta see the girls out here. 259 00:15:36,055 --> 00:15:40,625 Tim! We're not gonna talk about windows, are we? 260 00:15:40,626 --> 00:15:43,127 Why do we have projects? Why do we even have a show? 261 00:15:43,128 --> 00:15:45,129 I'm having a little difficulty... 262 00:15:45,130 --> 00:15:47,666 Tim, I found this. It was addressed to you. 263 00:15:47,667 --> 00:15:50,168 It's a rose. Get this outta here. 264 00:15:50,169 --> 00:15:52,938 Men and women sure react differently to getting flowers. 265 00:15:52,939 --> 00:15:56,207 You should at least read it. I don't wanna read it. 266 00:15:56,208 --> 00:16:00,411 "my dearest tim, I'm in the front row today. 267 00:16:00,412 --> 00:16:04,683 Tonight, I'll be even closer when I'm at your Halloween party." 268 00:16:04,684 --> 00:16:06,952 Great. 269 00:16:06,953 --> 00:16:10,055 "don't reject my affections, or you'll be sorry. Rose." 270 00:16:16,462 --> 00:16:21,933 Al, don't you think it's mean, what were doing to tim? 271 00:16:21,934 --> 00:16:23,635 Yes, I do. 272 00:16:38,084 --> 00:16:39,150 Hi, shirl. 273 00:16:39,151 --> 00:16:41,319 It's me - al. 274 00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:43,054 Oh. 275 00:16:46,191 --> 00:16:47,425 Aah! 276 00:16:49,762 --> 00:16:52,964 (♪ spooky) 277 00:17:01,607 --> 00:17:04,442 (screaming) 278 00:17:17,289 --> 00:17:18,757 Excuse me. 279 00:17:23,095 --> 00:17:26,798 Hey, good to see you. Who is that? 280 00:17:26,799 --> 00:17:28,533 Nice party, tim. Heidi. 281 00:17:28,534 --> 00:17:32,704 Spooky. Nice hair. Spooky. Uhh. 282 00:17:32,705 --> 00:17:35,940 Honey, what were you thinking about when you picked out these costumes? 283 00:17:35,941 --> 00:17:37,608 A widow and a corpse? 284 00:17:37,609 --> 00:17:39,811 By the time I got there, there wasn't much left. 285 00:17:39,812 --> 00:17:42,446 It was either a corpse or bob vila. 286 00:17:45,450 --> 00:17:48,119 What's the difference? 287 00:17:48,120 --> 00:17:51,856 Is it my imagination, or are we surrounded by death tonight? 288 00:17:51,857 --> 00:17:54,059 Death was a very hot costume this year. 289 00:17:54,060 --> 00:17:57,261 Black is very slimming. 290 00:17:57,262 --> 00:18:00,431 Why don't these people just get dressed up as licorice? 291 00:18:00,432 --> 00:18:02,100 Honey, will you relax? 292 00:18:02,101 --> 00:18:04,268 Nobody's gonna get by al unless they're on the guest list. 293 00:18:04,269 --> 00:18:06,370 Oh, yeah, our crack security ape. 294 00:18:06,371 --> 00:18:09,074 (tim) al? Al. 295 00:18:14,446 --> 00:18:17,048 Hey! Hey! Banana breath! 296 00:18:17,049 --> 00:18:19,951 You let another fiend slip by. 297 00:18:19,952 --> 00:18:22,954 Oh, no, that's ok. That's just reverend mcdonald. 298 00:18:22,955 --> 00:18:24,122 Hi, reverend. 299 00:18:25,624 --> 00:18:26,725 Boy, it's... 300 00:18:27,760 --> 00:18:29,761 ...It's hot in there. 301 00:18:29,762 --> 00:18:33,664 Put your mask back on. You're scaring all the kids. 302 00:18:33,665 --> 00:18:36,868 Just watch the door. Please? All right, I will. 303 00:18:36,869 --> 00:18:40,939 I'm gonna change that music. It's too spooky for Halloween. 304 00:18:40,940 --> 00:18:42,073 Aah! 305 00:18:43,675 --> 00:18:45,810 Hello. Hello. 306 00:18:45,811 --> 00:18:46,878 Hello. 307 00:18:46,879 --> 00:18:49,080 (all) hello! 308 00:18:51,583 --> 00:18:54,385 Wait a minute. Why did your father dress you all alike? 309 00:18:54,386 --> 00:18:56,354 We all wanted to be moe. 310 00:18:57,957 --> 00:18:59,924 Spread out, knuckleheads. 311 00:19:01,227 --> 00:19:03,128 Ow! 312 00:19:03,129 --> 00:19:06,765 Oh. Wise guys, eh? 313 00:19:06,766 --> 00:19:08,166 Ohh! Ohh! 314 00:19:08,167 --> 00:19:10,334 Ow! Ow! 315 00:19:10,335 --> 00:19:12,603 Ow! Ow! 316 00:19:12,604 --> 00:19:13,805 Ow! 317 00:19:13,806 --> 00:19:16,274 (all) ow! 318 00:19:21,914 --> 00:19:24,715 Hey! Don't do that, wilson. 319 00:19:24,716 --> 00:19:26,651 I'm sorry, tim. 320 00:19:26,652 --> 00:19:29,353 I didn't mean to frighten you, but a lady asked me to give this to you. 321 00:19:32,124 --> 00:19:33,391 It's a rose. 322 00:19:33,392 --> 00:19:35,827 That was my first reaction. 323 00:19:39,198 --> 00:19:40,265 Where is she? 324 00:19:40,266 --> 00:19:42,633 She seems to have disappeared. 325 00:19:42,634 --> 00:19:46,537 A lady dressed all in red. Had an air of menace about her. 326 00:19:46,538 --> 00:19:47,772 Did she? 327 00:20:06,025 --> 00:20:07,025 Uhh. 328 00:20:14,233 --> 00:20:15,300 Oh, boy. 329 00:20:15,301 --> 00:20:19,403 (all) ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! 330 00:20:22,208 --> 00:20:24,209 Excuse us for a minute. 331 00:20:24,210 --> 00:20:25,609 Rose is here. 332 00:20:25,610 --> 00:20:27,312 Rose, the obsessed fan? 333 00:20:27,313 --> 00:20:29,047 No, rose kennedy. 334 00:20:30,615 --> 00:20:32,717 Yes, rose, the obsessed fan! Where is she? 335 00:20:32,718 --> 00:20:33,818 Right over there. 336 00:20:36,121 --> 00:20:39,590 This is so creepy. 337 00:20:39,591 --> 00:20:42,426 Maybe you should call the police. Maybe you're right. 338 00:20:42,427 --> 00:20:44,428 Wait, no! Don't do it down here. 339 00:20:44,429 --> 00:20:46,497 You'll scare the guests. Go upstairs. 340 00:20:46,498 --> 00:20:50,201 Promise me one thing. If anything happens to me, shoot the ape. 341 00:20:53,105 --> 00:20:54,205 Oww! 342 00:21:06,485 --> 00:21:10,221 Operator? What's the number for 911? 343 00:21:10,222 --> 00:21:11,289 Slow down. 344 00:21:11,290 --> 00:21:13,391 (knock on door) jill? 345 00:21:13,392 --> 00:21:16,094 Guess again. It's rose. 346 00:21:17,562 --> 00:21:19,998 I'll... Be right there. 347 00:21:19,999 --> 00:21:22,633 I'm just going to fix my face. 348 00:21:22,634 --> 00:21:23,868 Eww. 349 00:21:29,674 --> 00:21:31,675 Come on in. Come on. 350 00:21:35,514 --> 00:21:37,415 Aah! Trick or treat! 351 00:21:37,416 --> 00:21:40,584 (whooping and laughter) 352 00:21:43,989 --> 00:21:46,090 You look beautiful! 353 00:21:46,091 --> 00:21:48,826 (al) that was a great trick! 354 00:21:48,827 --> 00:21:53,664 The king of Halloween is dead. Long live the queen. 355 00:22:00,205 --> 00:22:02,573 (♪ romantic) 356 00:22:07,146 --> 00:22:08,879 What's all this stuff? 357 00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:11,582 I thought I'd put a little romance back in Halloween. 358 00:22:13,452 --> 00:22:17,956 I've always been attracted to dead, pasty-faced guys. 359 00:22:17,957 --> 00:22:20,058 Heh-heh-heh-heh. 360 00:22:20,059 --> 00:22:22,393 You better kiss me before rigor mortis sets in. 361 00:22:27,666 --> 00:22:30,068 Care to dance, my widow woman? 362 00:22:30,069 --> 00:22:32,971 I'd love to, dead astaire. 363 00:22:40,879 --> 00:22:42,646 Ah. 364 00:22:42,647 --> 00:22:44,915 Nice party. 365 00:22:44,916 --> 00:22:47,151 Spin me, mr. Taylor. Spin me. 366 00:22:47,152 --> 00:22:48,853 You got it. 367 00:22:48,854 --> 00:22:51,189 Aah! 368 00:22:51,190 --> 00:22:53,657 The king is back! 369 00:22:53,658 --> 00:22:56,127 He's got one arm, but the king is back. 370 00:22:56,128 --> 00:22:57,161 Thank you. 371 00:23:01,833 --> 00:23:05,370 As you can see, with the binford light oak stain, 372 00:23:05,371 --> 00:23:07,271 You will get a nice... 373 00:23:07,272 --> 00:23:09,307 Honey-colored... 374 00:23:09,308 --> 00:23:10,341 Finish. 375 00:23:11,676 --> 00:23:14,379 (laughter) 376 00:23:14,380 --> 00:23:16,247 With the binford light oak stain, 377 00:23:16,248 --> 00:23:19,650 You'll get a nice honey-colored finish. 378 00:23:19,651 --> 00:23:22,453 That's right. When you're through with that, 379 00:23:22,454 --> 00:23:24,855 You'll want to put a light, little (gibberish) on top. 380 00:23:24,856 --> 00:23:26,524 (man) oh... 381 00:23:26,525 --> 00:23:27,591 Oh, what?