1
00:00:08,895 --> 00:00:10,562
If you're like me,
2
00:00:10,563 --> 00:00:13,699
You've spent time on the floor
after an accident...
3
00:00:16,069 --> 00:00:19,805
...Waiting for the paramedics
to arrive.
4
00:00:19,806 --> 00:00:23,709
It's times like these
a lot of thoughts roll
through your head.
5
00:00:23,710 --> 00:00:27,312
"I wonder
if the bleeding will stop."
6
00:00:27,313 --> 00:00:30,850
"I had no idea electricity
could lift me off the ground
that high."
7
00:00:32,619 --> 00:00:34,386
Or, "from this angle,
8
00:00:34,387 --> 00:00:37,657
That smooth ceiling
could use a little texture."
9
00:00:37,658 --> 00:00:39,692
And how would we do that, al?
10
00:00:39,693 --> 00:00:44,296
Well, tim,
with binford's 6100
acoustic spraying system.
11
00:00:44,297 --> 00:00:45,898
That's right.
12
00:00:45,899 --> 00:00:48,567
With the 6100 system,
even the most inexperienced,
unskilled homeowner
13
00:00:48,568 --> 00:00:50,569
Can do this simple job.
14
00:00:50,570 --> 00:00:53,139
And who better to demonstrate
than you, tim?
15
00:00:57,911 --> 00:00:59,444
For this job,
16
00:00:59,445 --> 00:01:02,682
Al and I suggest binford's
acoustical texture spray.
17
00:01:02,683 --> 00:01:05,350
That's right. It comes
in these ready-to-mix bags.
18
00:01:05,351 --> 00:01:07,452
All you do is add water.
19
00:01:07,453 --> 00:01:11,691
Or, for a creamier texture,
go with the buttermilk.
20
00:01:11,692 --> 00:01:14,760
Obviously you want to follow
the instructions precisely,
21
00:01:14,761 --> 00:01:16,428
Because too much water,
22
00:01:16,429 --> 00:01:19,665
And your mixture
will not adhere
to your ceiling.
23
00:01:19,666 --> 00:01:22,168
Tim, I've already
mixed that.
24
00:01:22,169 --> 00:01:26,238
Yeah... Just needs
a bit more water, al.
25
00:01:26,239 --> 00:01:28,407
I used a measuring cup.
26
00:01:28,408 --> 00:01:32,044
We're not doing laundry,
fella.
27
00:01:32,045 --> 00:01:37,649
I use a measuring system
that never fails me - my eye.
28
00:01:37,650 --> 00:01:40,920
My eye.
29
00:01:42,422 --> 00:01:44,423
Once you've mixed
the compound,
30
00:01:44,424 --> 00:01:46,592
It's ready
to load in the hopper.
31
00:01:46,593 --> 00:01:48,227
Give me a hand, dennis.
32
00:01:52,799 --> 00:01:56,001
Perfecto. All right.
33
00:01:56,002 --> 00:01:57,502
When you get going,
34
00:01:57,503 --> 00:02:00,072
What you do
is use short even strokes,
35
00:02:00,073 --> 00:02:03,442
Keeping the gun
about 2 feet from your ceiling.
36
00:02:03,443 --> 00:02:04,643
(muffled) all right.
37
00:02:19,826 --> 00:02:24,296
And you doubted me.
38
00:02:24,297 --> 00:02:26,298
I stand corrected.
39
00:02:26,299 --> 00:02:29,635
I would be proud
to have a ceiling like this
40
00:02:29,636 --> 00:02:32,171
In my living room.
41
00:02:38,245 --> 00:02:40,712
Who let those pigeons
in here?
42
00:03:50,250 --> 00:03:53,252
What do you think? Should we
put the kids in the middle?
43
00:03:56,389 --> 00:04:00,759
No, ashley,
there's nothing going on
between me and melissa.
44
00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:03,462
I just gave her a taste
of my jell-o.
45
00:04:03,463 --> 00:04:07,466
It's not like we both chewed
the same piece of gum.
46
00:04:07,467 --> 00:04:10,336
Ashley, come on. Hold on.
47
00:04:10,337 --> 00:04:12,671
Randy, I'm on the phone.
Get out.
48
00:04:12,672 --> 00:04:15,040
You get out.
It's my room, too.
49
00:04:15,041 --> 00:04:16,375
I was here first.
50
00:04:16,376 --> 00:04:18,878
Look, I'm just getting
my books.
51
00:04:18,879 --> 00:04:20,312
I'm listening.
52
00:04:20,313 --> 00:04:24,583
I swear,
there's nothing going on
between me and melissa.
53
00:04:24,584 --> 00:04:28,487
(high voice) oh, brad,
get off the phone and kiss me.
54
00:04:28,488 --> 00:04:31,223
Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah.
55
00:04:31,224 --> 00:04:33,759
No, that's not melissa.
It's my stupid brother.
56
00:04:35,728 --> 00:04:37,229
Listen, ashley,
57
00:04:37,230 --> 00:04:40,232
There's nothing going on
between us.
58
00:04:40,233 --> 00:04:41,633
Uh-huh.
59
00:04:41,634 --> 00:04:46,605
Hold me, my hunka hunka
burning love.
60
00:04:50,110 --> 00:04:52,778
Ashley,
I'll see you at school.
61
00:04:52,779 --> 00:04:54,179
All right. Bye.
62
00:04:54,180 --> 00:04:56,415
You're a hunka dead meat!
63
00:05:00,653 --> 00:05:02,388
I'm gonna kill you!
64
00:05:02,389 --> 00:05:05,457
But I thought
you loved me.
65
00:05:05,458 --> 00:05:07,359
Stop, stop, stop!
66
00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:09,761
Guys, stop it.
What's going on?
67
00:05:09,762 --> 00:05:11,830
He keeps bugging me
when I'm on the phone.
68
00:05:11,831 --> 00:05:14,099
(normal voice)
he's on the phone
24 hours a day.
69
00:05:14,100 --> 00:05:16,101
Don't use the phone
so much.
70
00:05:16,102 --> 00:05:20,005
I can't help it
if I'm so popular.
71
00:05:20,006 --> 00:05:23,475
(high voice)
well, I guess that's why
all us girls love you.
72
00:05:23,476 --> 00:05:25,144
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Bradley, bradley!
73
00:05:25,145 --> 00:05:27,246
Come here. Come here.
What?
74
00:05:27,247 --> 00:05:30,316
Take your coat, take your bag,
and you go out that way.
75
00:05:32,518 --> 00:05:34,353
(door slams)
76
00:05:34,354 --> 00:05:37,323
Well, this is what
we're leaving the world.
77
00:05:37,324 --> 00:05:38,657
Face it, honey.
78
00:05:38,658 --> 00:05:41,160
You raised two
very obnoxious
little boys.
79
00:05:41,161 --> 00:05:45,164
What is going on with them?
They've really been going at it
these last couple of weeks.
80
00:05:45,165 --> 00:05:49,935
You're right.
Black eye, bloody nose,
stitches, loose tooth.
81
00:05:49,936 --> 00:05:52,471
Well, we gotta do something
before they kill each other.
82
00:05:52,472 --> 00:05:55,240
Tonight,
after they're asleep,
83
00:05:55,241 --> 00:05:58,610
You and me, puerto rico.
84
00:06:02,782 --> 00:06:04,616
Tim, this is serious.
85
00:06:04,617 --> 00:06:07,319
We've got to find out
what's wrong with them.
86
00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:09,455
All right.
Then we go to puerto rico.
87
00:06:11,791 --> 00:06:13,825
If we wanna solve
this problem,
88
00:06:13,826 --> 00:06:16,561
There's only one thing
to do - separate bedrooms.
89
00:06:16,562 --> 00:06:20,532
We don't have any more bedrooms.
And, no, no, no, no, no, no!
90
00:06:20,533 --> 00:06:22,534
You're not building
any more.
91
00:06:22,535 --> 00:06:25,270
Honey, we've talked
about this before.
92
00:06:25,271 --> 00:06:29,408
Move brad into mark's room,
and then mark into randy's room.
93
00:06:29,409 --> 00:06:33,578
No. No. Ok, brad is older.
He probably should have
his own room.
94
00:06:33,579 --> 00:06:35,747
But we can't make
a decision like that
95
00:06:35,748 --> 00:06:37,749
Without discussing it
with all the boys.
96
00:06:37,750 --> 00:06:39,318
Why discuss it?
97
00:06:39,319 --> 00:06:42,687
The reason we became parents
is so we could tell kids
what to do.
98
00:06:42,688 --> 00:06:45,057
If we can't do that,
99
00:06:45,058 --> 00:06:47,259
We're just the tallest people
living here.
100
00:06:53,233 --> 00:06:55,867
You sound like my father.
101
00:06:55,868 --> 00:06:57,736
All right.
102
00:06:59,239 --> 00:07:01,240
Today, we're gonna show you
103
00:07:01,241 --> 00:07:03,975
How to soundproof
as well as insulate the walls.
104
00:07:03,976 --> 00:07:06,711
Now, there's a variety
of products you can use,
of course.
105
00:07:06,712 --> 00:07:09,714
Acoustic padding,
fiberglass batting,
106
00:07:09,715 --> 00:07:13,252
Or very unattractive flannel.
107
00:07:13,253 --> 00:07:15,787
The easiest way
to install your insulation
108
00:07:15,788 --> 00:07:18,823
Is during construction,
before you've put up
your dry wall.
109
00:07:18,824 --> 00:07:21,660
However, if the dry wall's
already been installed
in your home,
110
00:07:21,661 --> 00:07:23,662
We suggest
the foam injection method.
111
00:07:23,663 --> 00:07:25,797
Heidi, the foam injector,
please.
112
00:07:26,999 --> 00:07:28,500
Here you go, tim.
113
00:07:28,501 --> 00:07:30,235
Thank you, heidi.
You're welcome.
114
00:07:30,236 --> 00:07:33,004
For this method, you're gonna
have to drill some holes.
115
00:07:33,005 --> 00:07:35,140
But first
you wanna find a stud.
116
00:07:42,982 --> 00:07:45,784
I said "stud," not "dud."
117
00:07:45,785 --> 00:07:47,652
(drills)
118
00:07:47,653 --> 00:07:50,155
It's already compressed air
in there.
119
00:07:50,156 --> 00:07:53,158
To make it work,
stick your nozzle in,
and you start insulating.
120
00:07:53,159 --> 00:07:56,161
Mm-hmm. It should dry
in about ten minutes.
That's right, al.
121
00:07:56,162 --> 00:07:58,230
To show some of the advantage
of soundproofing,
122
00:07:58,231 --> 00:08:01,233
The crew and I got here early
and constructed a special room.
123
00:08:01,234 --> 00:08:03,535
Heidi, my room, please.
124
00:08:03,536 --> 00:08:06,338
Now, this room will
not only protect you
from the elements,
125
00:08:06,339 --> 00:08:07,839
Keep you warm,
126
00:08:07,840 --> 00:08:10,842
But it's also
totally soundproof.
127
00:08:10,843 --> 00:08:15,714
Here you go, tim.
Thank you, heidi.
128
00:08:15,715 --> 00:08:17,216
Watch this, al.
129
00:08:17,217 --> 00:08:19,084
Can't hear a word.
It's so good. Watch.
130
00:08:19,085 --> 00:08:23,222
Talking like this.
You walk in. Hi, everybody.
My name's tim "the tool..."
131
00:08:23,223 --> 00:08:25,290
(silence)
132
00:08:38,271 --> 00:08:40,239
Aah!
133
00:08:44,444 --> 00:08:46,077
(audience cheering)
134
00:08:49,081 --> 00:08:52,117
That is truly amazing.
We did not hear a sound.
135
00:08:52,118 --> 00:08:55,120
No. That's how
it was designed.
You gotta try it.
136
00:08:55,121 --> 00:08:57,122
Let yourself go.
It's great. Yeah.
137
00:09:00,926 --> 00:09:04,763
Tim, can you hear me?
(mouths)
138
00:09:04,764 --> 00:09:06,798
You can't hear me?
139
00:09:06,799 --> 00:09:11,570
In that case,
I should be the host
of this show.
140
00:09:11,571 --> 00:09:15,774
And another thing.
That's a stupid haircut
you have.
141
00:09:15,775 --> 00:09:17,276
And another thing...
142
00:09:17,277 --> 00:09:20,212
♪ I am a very model
of a modern major general
143
00:09:20,213 --> 00:09:22,614
♪ I've information vegetable,
animal and mineral
144
00:09:22,615 --> 00:09:25,850
♪ I know the kings of England
and I quote the fights
historical
145
00:09:25,851 --> 00:09:29,054
♪ from marathon to waterloo
in order categorical ♪
146
00:09:29,055 --> 00:09:31,056
Al.
Yes?
147
00:09:31,057 --> 00:09:33,858
Al.
Yes?
148
00:09:33,859 --> 00:09:36,395
(audience laughing)
149
00:09:39,932 --> 00:09:41,833
Can you hear me?
150
00:09:43,570 --> 00:09:45,571
I can hear you.
151
00:09:45,572 --> 00:09:47,806
(audience laughing)
152
00:09:50,810 --> 00:09:53,745
Think about that.
153
00:10:00,886 --> 00:10:03,755
Major general borland!
154
00:10:05,958 --> 00:10:08,860
Come on, brad.
Let me in.
155
00:10:08,861 --> 00:10:11,830
No! You're gonna be out there
for the rest of your life.
156
00:10:11,831 --> 00:10:14,866
Well, there's no lock.
You're gonna have to stand
next to the door
157
00:10:14,867 --> 00:10:17,336
For the rest of your life.
158
00:10:17,337 --> 00:10:19,471
Maybe I will.
159
00:10:19,472 --> 00:10:21,473
Good plan, genius.
160
00:10:21,474 --> 00:10:23,575
I got a better plan.
161
00:10:23,576 --> 00:10:26,044
Open this door
right now, brad.
Come on.
162
00:10:26,045 --> 00:10:29,080
Why are you keeping him
out of the room?
He keeps bugging me.
163
00:10:29,081 --> 00:10:31,583
You're full of it.
You're the one
who's full of it.
164
00:10:31,584 --> 00:10:32,917
Stop, stop,
stop, stop!
165
00:10:32,918 --> 00:10:35,053
Sit down.
Both of you, sit.
166
00:10:35,054 --> 00:10:39,057
Your mom wants to know
what's going on between you two.
167
00:10:39,058 --> 00:10:40,659
She's not here,
so it's up to me.
168
00:10:40,660 --> 00:10:42,761
Randy, what's the matter
with brad?
169
00:10:42,762 --> 00:10:44,996
I hate him.
You don't hate him.
170
00:10:44,997 --> 00:10:48,300
Turn around and talk to me.
What's the problem with brad?
171
00:10:48,301 --> 00:10:49,968
I hate him a lot.
172
00:10:49,969 --> 00:10:52,036
Not as much
as I hate him.
173
00:10:52,037 --> 00:10:54,038
He won't let me
into my own room.
174
00:10:54,039 --> 00:10:55,574
I can't even do
my homework.
175
00:10:55,575 --> 00:10:57,976
It's not just your room.
You think you own it.
176
00:10:57,977 --> 00:11:00,078
Well, he doesn't own it.
I own it.
177
00:11:00,079 --> 00:11:03,415
Actually, the bank
kind of really owns it...
178
00:11:03,416 --> 00:11:05,417
Guys, you gotta
figure out a way
179
00:11:05,418 --> 00:11:07,952
To work this out by yourselves,
all right?
180
00:11:07,953 --> 00:11:09,788
Randy shouldn't
even have a room.
181
00:11:09,789 --> 00:11:12,524
He should be
at the bottom of lake erie
with the other shrimp.
182
00:11:12,525 --> 00:11:14,092
Brad!
183
00:11:14,093 --> 00:11:16,094
Yeah, and you'd
fit right in on mars,
184
00:11:16,095 --> 00:11:19,030
Where there's no sign
of intelligent life.
185
00:11:19,031 --> 00:11:23,368
First of all...
They've never confirmed that.
186
00:11:26,673 --> 00:11:28,173
And second of all,
187
00:11:28,174 --> 00:11:30,776
I want you guys
to shake hands and make up.
188
00:11:30,777 --> 00:11:34,413
Big brother,
help little brother out.
Come on.
189
00:11:34,414 --> 00:11:36,581
Did you hear what I said?
190
00:11:36,582 --> 00:11:38,483
Shake hands,
right this minute.
Come on, hop to it.
191
00:11:40,753 --> 00:11:42,354
All right. Good men.
192
00:11:42,355 --> 00:11:44,790
Quit squeezing!
193
00:11:44,791 --> 00:11:46,625
You're the one
who's squeezing.
194
00:11:46,626 --> 00:11:48,159
Come on, let go.
You let go.
195
00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:51,630
Both let go.
Let him go. Let...
All right, let go!
196
00:11:51,631 --> 00:11:53,298
All right, down here.
197
00:11:53,299 --> 00:11:56,000
Tried it your mom's way,
that didn't work.
Now it's my way.
198
00:11:56,001 --> 00:11:57,736
I'm splitting you guys up.
What?
199
00:11:57,737 --> 00:12:00,539
I'm moving him into mark's room,
and mark's in with you.
200
00:12:00,540 --> 00:12:02,541
Wait a second!
This is totally unfair.
201
00:12:02,542 --> 00:12:04,409
Why should brad
get his own room?
202
00:12:04,410 --> 00:12:07,078
Because he's the oldest
and because I say so,
all right?
203
00:12:07,079 --> 00:12:10,716
I have to go with dad
on this one.
Don't push it.
204
00:12:10,717 --> 00:12:12,551
This is totally unfair.
205
00:12:12,552 --> 00:12:15,019
Well, life is
totally unfair.
206
00:12:15,020 --> 00:12:18,089
When I was your age,
I wanted my own room,
and I didn't get it.
207
00:12:18,090 --> 00:12:21,593
Come to think of it,
I still don't have my own room.
208
00:12:30,570 --> 00:12:32,971
Got a box.
209
00:12:32,972 --> 00:12:36,207
Dad, I don't wanna
move in with randy.
210
00:12:36,208 --> 00:12:39,611
Oh... Mark, it may seem
like a bad idea now,
211
00:12:39,612 --> 00:12:42,581
But a lot of times
bad things turn into
good things.
212
00:12:42,582 --> 00:12:47,018
What could be good about
sharing a room with randy?
I've been thinking about it.
213
00:12:47,019 --> 00:12:49,721
Maybe you and randy
will get to know
each other better.
214
00:12:49,722 --> 00:12:52,056
When I was your age,
I moved in with steve.
215
00:12:52,057 --> 00:12:54,393
You know uncle steve and I
don't get along.
216
00:12:54,394 --> 00:12:56,895
When we moved in together,
we got real close.
217
00:12:56,896 --> 00:12:59,063
After that, he didn't
beat me up so much.
218
00:12:59,064 --> 00:13:01,767
Really?
Yeah.
219
00:13:01,768 --> 00:13:04,770
I guess that could be
a good thing.
Yeah.
220
00:13:04,771 --> 00:13:09,307
And maybe you and randy
can gang up against brad.
221
00:13:09,308 --> 00:13:11,109
Yeah.
All right.
222
00:13:11,110 --> 00:13:13,077
Thanks, dad.
You bet.
223
00:13:16,549 --> 00:13:18,583
Hi, mom.
Hi, honey.
224
00:13:18,584 --> 00:13:21,520
What are you doing
with that box?
Dad's making me move.
225
00:13:24,390 --> 00:13:25,891
What?
226
00:13:25,892 --> 00:13:28,693
To randy's room.
Now I get to beat up
on brad.
227
00:13:30,996 --> 00:13:33,298
Tim!
228
00:13:33,299 --> 00:13:37,736
Was that you, honey?
I could hardly hear you.
229
00:13:37,737 --> 00:13:40,405
They had a whole bunch
of chamois on sale.
230
00:13:40,406 --> 00:13:41,740
How could you?
231
00:13:41,741 --> 00:13:43,909
You said always look
for bargains.
232
00:13:43,910 --> 00:13:46,411
I mean about switching
the boys' rooms.
233
00:13:46,412 --> 00:13:49,080
Oh. I tried it your way.
It didn't work.
234
00:13:49,081 --> 00:13:53,518
My way was that we told them.
Was I not clear?
235
00:13:53,519 --> 00:13:56,387
We, we, we.
236
00:13:56,388 --> 00:13:58,389
It can be taken so many ways.
237
00:13:58,390 --> 00:14:01,827
To you, it meant "us."
to the french, it means "yes."
238
00:14:01,828 --> 00:14:05,497
To this little piggy,
it meant, "I'm going
all the way home."
239
00:14:05,498 --> 00:14:08,366
I can't believe you made
a decision like this
without me.
240
00:14:08,367 --> 00:14:11,536
If you'd been in the room
arguing with them, you'd
have made the same decision.
241
00:14:11,537 --> 00:14:14,539
No, I would have discussed it
with the boys, waited for you
to come home,
242
00:14:14,540 --> 00:14:16,675
And we could have discussed it
as a family.
243
00:14:16,676 --> 00:14:19,978
And after all the discussion,
the boys would have been,
what, 90?
244
00:14:19,979 --> 00:14:21,746
Great. Make jokes.
245
00:14:21,747 --> 00:14:25,283
Ok. A crocodile
and a giraffe...
Tim...
246
00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:31,556
Honey, I don't need
endless discussions
to make a decision.
247
00:14:31,557 --> 00:14:35,360
Men assess a situation,
boom - done.
248
00:14:35,361 --> 00:14:39,063
Are you saying that men
are more decisive than women?
249
00:14:39,064 --> 00:14:41,432
Oh, it's a fact.
250
00:14:41,433 --> 00:14:44,536
Come on. We don't shop
for three hours for shoes
and handbags.
251
00:14:44,537 --> 00:14:47,305
The first pair of shoes
I see that fit, I buy 'em.
252
00:14:47,306 --> 00:14:51,510
Even if they're
sling-back heels?
If they fit.
253
00:14:51,511 --> 00:14:53,845
You see? Just because men
make hasty decisions
254
00:14:53,846 --> 00:14:55,881
Doesn't mean
that they're the right ones.
255
00:14:55,882 --> 00:14:57,549
Men aren't yammerers.
256
00:14:57,550 --> 00:15:01,319
Is that what you think?
You think that I yammer?
257
00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:04,322
Jill, you're a yammer-er.
258
00:15:04,323 --> 00:15:06,858
Well, you're a yack-ass!
259
00:15:11,664 --> 00:15:15,433
(camera shutter clicking)
260
00:15:22,775 --> 00:15:24,509
Evening, wilson.
261
00:15:24,510 --> 00:15:27,979
Heavenly-ho,
good neighbor.
262
00:15:27,980 --> 00:15:30,081
What are you doing?
263
00:15:30,082 --> 00:15:35,086
Tim, I am shooting the moon.
264
00:15:35,087 --> 00:15:38,757
Aren't you supposed
to have your pants down
for that?
265
00:15:41,293 --> 00:15:44,763
No, no, no, no, no, tim.
I'm taking time-lapse
photographs.
266
00:15:44,764 --> 00:15:47,365
I'm tracking the path
of the blue moon.
267
00:15:47,366 --> 00:15:50,201
I'm taking
some very spectacular shots.
268
00:15:50,202 --> 00:15:53,404
That's funny. Jill just took
some spectacular shots at me.
269
00:15:53,405 --> 00:15:56,775
Something's out of orbit
in the taylor universe.
270
00:15:56,776 --> 00:15:58,810
I suppose you could say that.
271
00:15:58,811 --> 00:16:01,312
I made a big decision
without asking her.
272
00:16:01,313 --> 00:16:03,815
I wanted to stop the boys
from fighting,
273
00:16:03,816 --> 00:16:05,817
So I put them
in separate bedrooms.
274
00:16:05,818 --> 00:16:08,887
Mm-mm-mm. Well,
that's a tough decision
to make unilaterally.
275
00:16:08,888 --> 00:16:12,991
Yeah. Jill figured
I should have made it
double-laterally.
276
00:16:14,393 --> 00:16:16,061
She used that word?
277
00:16:17,697 --> 00:16:20,298
No. No, she doesn't have
a big vocabulary
278
00:16:20,299 --> 00:16:22,233
Like you and me.
279
00:16:23,769 --> 00:16:26,771
I thought if I separated them,
it would stop them
from fighting.
280
00:16:26,772 --> 00:16:29,774
Oh, I see. Well, tim,
what were they fighting
about?
281
00:16:29,775 --> 00:16:32,777
They're boys.
They fight about everything.
What does it matter?
282
00:16:32,778 --> 00:16:35,113
Well, tim, what you're
describing to me
283
00:16:35,114 --> 00:16:38,349
Brings to mind
the verruca vulgaris.
284
00:16:38,350 --> 00:16:42,687
Uhh?
Also known
as the common wart.
285
00:16:42,688 --> 00:16:46,625
You're calling my sons warts?
Not that I mind...
286
00:16:46,626 --> 00:16:49,661
No, no, no, no, no, no, tim.
What I'm trying to say is,
287
00:16:49,662 --> 00:16:52,764
Most people think the best way
to get rid of a wart
is to cut it off,
288
00:16:52,765 --> 00:16:55,600
But in actuality
that isn't the best solution.
289
00:16:55,601 --> 00:16:57,435
See, the wart will reappear
290
00:16:57,436 --> 00:17:00,071
Because the virus is still
below the surface of the skin.
291
00:17:00,072 --> 00:17:02,540
So just putting my two warts
in separate rooms
292
00:17:02,541 --> 00:17:04,542
Isn't gonna cure
this problem, huh?
293
00:17:04,543 --> 00:17:07,679
No. No, tim, the only way
to get rid of a wart
294
00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:10,682
Is to go beneath the surface
of the oily skin
295
00:17:10,683 --> 00:17:13,184
And dig out the root.
296
00:17:13,185 --> 00:17:16,154
I see. Thanks.
297
00:17:16,155 --> 00:17:17,622
Mm-hmm.
298
00:17:17,623 --> 00:17:19,290
Wilson?
Mm-hmm?
299
00:17:19,291 --> 00:17:23,194
This is bar none
the most disgusting
conversation we've ever had.
300
00:17:25,064 --> 00:17:26,965
(chuckles)
301
00:17:26,966 --> 00:17:30,035
(knock on door)
302
00:17:30,036 --> 00:17:31,670
Hi.
303
00:17:31,671 --> 00:17:33,672
Hi.
304
00:17:33,673 --> 00:17:35,206
Where's mark?
305
00:17:35,207 --> 00:17:37,175
I don't know.
306
00:17:37,176 --> 00:17:40,511
Did you stuff him
in one of these drawers?
307
00:17:42,715 --> 00:17:44,215
Not funny, huh?
308
00:17:44,216 --> 00:17:48,153
It's about as funny
as what dad did.
309
00:17:48,154 --> 00:17:50,588
You think
you could talk to him?
310
00:17:50,589 --> 00:17:53,692
Would you feel better
if things went back
to the way they were?
311
00:17:53,693 --> 00:17:56,027
I'd feel better
if I had my own room.
312
00:17:56,028 --> 00:17:58,029
Unfortunately, that's not
gonna be an option.
313
00:17:58,030 --> 00:18:00,031
So what are my options?
314
00:18:00,032 --> 00:18:01,733
Living with the dork
315
00:18:01,734 --> 00:18:04,836
Or living with brad
who talks on the phone
all day.
316
00:18:04,837 --> 00:18:07,505
Honey, brad is
in junior high school now.
317
00:18:07,506 --> 00:18:10,274
He's got a lot
of new stuff happening.
318
00:18:10,275 --> 00:18:13,344
He's meeting new friends,
getting interested in girls...
319
00:18:13,345 --> 00:18:15,346
Let me get this straight.
320
00:18:15,347 --> 00:18:18,683
Brad gets new friends,
girls and his own room
321
00:18:18,684 --> 00:18:20,618
And I get mark?
322
00:18:23,222 --> 00:18:27,992
I'm sorry. I know
that this is hard for you.
323
00:18:27,993 --> 00:18:31,863
I remember
when my sister hit her teens.
324
00:18:31,864 --> 00:18:36,067
She was doing all
this interesting stuff
that I wished I was doing.
325
00:18:36,068 --> 00:18:37,902
Well, like what?
326
00:18:37,903 --> 00:18:39,971
Well, she got her own room.
327
00:18:39,972 --> 00:18:43,208
She started wearing makeup,
shaving her legs.
328
00:18:43,209 --> 00:18:47,212
Can you imagine how I felt
when she got to wear a bra
329
00:18:47,213 --> 00:18:49,881
And I was still wearing
a dorky undershirt?
330
00:18:49,882 --> 00:18:53,852
Yeah, I can. When do you think
I'll get to wear a bra, mom?
331
00:18:56,521 --> 00:19:00,225
Ok. Ok, that's probably
not the greatest example.
332
00:19:00,226 --> 00:19:03,895
But what I mean is...
I got older, you know,
333
00:19:03,896 --> 00:19:06,798
And I got to have
some of those same experiences.
334
00:19:06,799 --> 00:19:09,400
I can't say the shaving the legs
part was so great,
335
00:19:09,401 --> 00:19:11,402
But then my sister moved out.
336
00:19:11,403 --> 00:19:13,104
Then you got your own room.
337
00:19:13,105 --> 00:19:16,407
No, then dad turned it
into a study.
338
00:19:16,408 --> 00:19:18,576
Great.
Don't worry.
339
00:19:18,577 --> 00:19:21,279
With your father,
you won't have that problem.
340
00:19:23,582 --> 00:19:25,583
Yeah. Dad's idea of a study
341
00:19:25,584 --> 00:19:28,519
Is a toilet
and three hot-rod magazines.
342
00:19:33,458 --> 00:19:36,828
You know, randy,
there are some advantages
343
00:19:36,829 --> 00:19:40,098
To sharing a room
with a younger kid.
344
00:19:40,099 --> 00:19:44,435
Such as?
You have always wanted
to have the upper bunk.
345
00:19:44,436 --> 00:19:46,938
You get to listen
to more of your music,
346
00:19:46,939 --> 00:19:49,908
Nobody can kick you
out of your room.
347
00:19:49,909 --> 00:19:51,910
Yeah...
348
00:19:51,911 --> 00:19:54,645
But I can always
kick mark out.
349
00:19:54,646 --> 00:19:57,182
I didn't say that.
350
00:19:57,183 --> 00:20:00,952
Oh, who knows?
Maybe one of these days
I'll completely lose my mind
351
00:20:00,953 --> 00:20:04,189
And let your father build
another room.
352
00:20:04,190 --> 00:20:06,357
I don't think so, mom.
353
00:20:11,297 --> 00:20:14,365
Jill. Jill...
354
00:20:14,366 --> 00:20:16,434
We gotta talk.
No, it's not necessary.
355
00:20:16,435 --> 00:20:18,669
I've been thinking
about what you said,
356
00:20:18,670 --> 00:20:21,272
And I think women do need
to be more decisive.
357
00:20:21,273 --> 00:20:24,275
So I've decided that
we should move my car
into the garage
358
00:20:24,276 --> 00:20:26,277
And your hot rod
out to the street
359
00:20:26,278 --> 00:20:28,779
And I should paint
all your tools pink.
No, no.
360
00:20:28,780 --> 00:20:31,883
I also decided
that I'm not doing
any more of your laundry.
361
00:20:31,884 --> 00:20:34,986
Ok, ok, ok,
I get your point.
362
00:20:34,987 --> 00:20:38,156
And I've decided
that no matter what I do,
363
00:20:38,157 --> 00:20:40,658
Those warts are going
back to bulgaria.
364
00:20:43,495 --> 00:20:46,597
Why do I even try
to talk to you?
365
00:20:46,598 --> 00:20:48,766
We've got to get
beneath the oily surface
366
00:20:48,767 --> 00:20:50,902
To the root
of the boys' problem.
367
00:20:50,903 --> 00:20:53,238
I've already gotten
to the root of the problem.
368
00:20:53,239 --> 00:20:55,639
Randy feels brad
is leaving him behind.
369
00:20:55,640 --> 00:20:57,641
What do you mean?
Brad's growing up.
370
00:20:57,642 --> 00:21:00,845
He doesn't want to spend time
hanging around with his
little brother anymore.
371
00:21:00,846 --> 00:21:02,713
That's what this is about?
372
00:21:02,714 --> 00:21:04,715
Yeah. It was bound
to happen, I guess.
373
00:21:04,716 --> 00:21:08,286
Yeah. There was a time
my brothers didn't want me
tagging around with them.
374
00:21:08,287 --> 00:21:10,521
Did it bum you out?
375
00:21:10,522 --> 00:21:13,024
Not really, 'cause
I'd tag along anyway.
376
00:21:13,025 --> 00:21:14,959
Bummed them out.
I bet.
377
00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:16,961
They'd go to the drive-in
with their girlfriends.
378
00:21:16,962 --> 00:21:19,630
I'd sit in back and pop up
when they were starting
to make their move
379
00:21:19,631 --> 00:21:22,100
With a fright wig and...
(makes gurgling noise)
380
00:21:22,101 --> 00:21:25,536
(randy) get out of my room!
(mark) it's my room, too!
381
00:21:25,537 --> 00:21:27,906
Let me in! (banging on door)
get out of my room!
382
00:21:27,907 --> 00:21:30,541
(pretends to sob)
383
00:21:30,542 --> 00:21:33,111
I just made
another decision.
384
00:21:33,112 --> 00:21:34,645
Puerto rico?
385
00:21:34,646 --> 00:21:36,714
It's nice this time of year.
386
00:21:46,358 --> 00:21:48,326
Hi.
387
00:21:48,327 --> 00:21:50,094
Hi.
388
00:21:51,363 --> 00:21:54,032
Is it all right
if I hang out in here?
389
00:21:54,033 --> 00:21:56,334
If you want.
390
00:21:56,335 --> 00:21:59,770
I've gotta get away from mom.
391
00:21:59,771 --> 00:22:03,341
Why? Did she tell you
the bra story?
392
00:22:05,544 --> 00:22:09,180
No. She keeps bugging me
about my new room.
393
00:22:09,181 --> 00:22:11,182
You know,
having your own room
394
00:22:11,183 --> 00:22:13,384
Isn't as great
as you think it is.
395
00:22:13,385 --> 00:22:15,186
Why not?
396
00:22:15,187 --> 00:22:17,688
(sighs) because mom says
it's a privilege
397
00:22:17,689 --> 00:22:21,926
And with privilege
comes more responsibility.
398
00:22:21,927 --> 00:22:23,995
Sounds bad.
399
00:22:23,996 --> 00:22:26,431
No kidding.
400
00:22:26,432 --> 00:22:29,300
I even have to do
my own laundry.
401
00:22:29,301 --> 00:22:32,670
Oh, man.
402
00:22:32,671 --> 00:22:36,474
But it's not that bad.
See, I figured it out.
403
00:22:36,475 --> 00:22:38,776
I'll only have to do it
once a month
404
00:22:38,777 --> 00:22:40,778
If I turn my shirts
inside out
405
00:22:40,779 --> 00:22:43,681
And, um, I wear my underwear
three times.
406
00:22:43,682 --> 00:22:47,585
Brad, do me a little favor.
407
00:22:47,586 --> 00:22:50,788
When it gets to
the end of the month,
408
00:22:50,789 --> 00:22:52,890
Stay in your own room.
409
00:22:58,563 --> 00:23:00,531
Hey.
410
00:23:03,068 --> 00:23:05,803
Can you imagine how I felt
when she got to wear a bra
411
00:23:05,804 --> 00:23:08,373
And I was still wearing
a dorky undershirt?
412
00:23:08,374 --> 00:23:10,608
Yeah, I can.
413
00:23:24,289 --> 00:23:26,690
(shouts)
414
00:23:26,691 --> 00:23:36,767
No!