1 00:00:02,522 --> 00:00:04,423 (all) tool time! 2 00:00:04,424 --> 00:00:07,059 That's right! Binford tools is proud to present 3 00:00:07,060 --> 00:00:09,795 Tim "the tool man" taylor. Whoo! 4 00:00:14,668 --> 00:00:16,669 Thank you, heidi. Welcome to tool time. 5 00:00:16,670 --> 00:00:18,437 I am tim "the tool man" taylor. 6 00:00:18,438 --> 00:00:21,941 I think you all know my assistant - al... Borland. 7 00:00:23,777 --> 00:00:25,645 Today on tool time, 8 00:00:25,646 --> 00:00:28,380 Tim and I are going to be talking about refinishing. 9 00:00:28,381 --> 00:00:30,016 That's right, al. 10 00:00:30,017 --> 00:00:31,951 Just when you're finished repairing that old table, 11 00:00:31,952 --> 00:00:35,387 You think you're finished, but you're not really finished until you refinish. 12 00:00:35,388 --> 00:00:37,389 Are you finished? 13 00:00:37,390 --> 00:00:39,892 No, but I have an uncle who lives in denmark. 14 00:00:42,195 --> 00:00:44,797 Tim. Actually, his name's lars. 15 00:00:47,100 --> 00:00:49,669 We've taken the first coat off of this table, 16 00:00:49,670 --> 00:00:52,004 Now we're ready to sand it down and put our last coat of stain on there. 17 00:00:52,005 --> 00:00:55,808 Before you get started, be sure to wear protective eyewear and dust mask. 18 00:00:55,809 --> 00:00:56,876 That's right. 19 00:00:56,877 --> 00:00:59,011 Allergic reactions to wood are common 20 00:00:59,012 --> 00:01:02,481 When working with members of the nut-bearing family. 21 00:01:05,952 --> 00:01:07,553 Like the borlands. 22 00:01:09,355 --> 00:01:13,292 It's also a good idea to wear protective gloves. 23 00:01:13,293 --> 00:01:15,394 Al, you're starting to act like my mother. 24 00:01:15,395 --> 00:01:18,430 If that beard were any thicker, you'd look like your mother. 25 00:01:23,603 --> 00:01:25,705 Tim, I think it's a good idea to wear the gloves. 26 00:01:25,706 --> 00:01:28,507 I've been working with wood all my life. I'm not allergic to hardwood. 27 00:01:28,508 --> 00:01:31,744 That's not the point. There's a lot of dust here and... 28 00:01:31,745 --> 00:01:34,180 Well, you can develop an allergy over time. 29 00:01:34,181 --> 00:01:39,018 Symptoms can include puffiness around the eyes, severe rash, extreme swelling. 30 00:01:39,019 --> 00:01:42,088 Oh, al, I think you may be right. My eyes are really itchy. 31 00:02:57,497 --> 00:02:59,531 What do you think? Could we put the kids in the middle? 32 00:03:03,436 --> 00:03:05,604 Al, we just had lunch with the crew. 33 00:03:05,605 --> 00:03:09,909 They loved the gag today. Klaus almost choked on his hot dog. 34 00:03:09,910 --> 00:03:12,211 They loved the way the hands swelled up. 35 00:03:12,212 --> 00:03:15,181 Not as swelled up as your head. 36 00:03:15,182 --> 00:03:17,349 What's eating your shorts? 37 00:03:17,350 --> 00:03:21,187 My shorts are fine, thank you. 38 00:03:21,188 --> 00:03:23,755 You're gonna be a load of laughs at dinner tonight. 39 00:03:23,756 --> 00:03:27,092 Not like you've ever been a load of laughs. 40 00:03:27,093 --> 00:03:29,995 I don't think that ilene and I can make it. 41 00:03:29,996 --> 00:03:33,299 Jill's expecting you. It's not a good night for us. 42 00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:36,001 Why not? 43 00:03:36,002 --> 00:03:38,037 It's personal. I don't wanna talk about it. 44 00:03:38,038 --> 00:03:41,874 I won't tell anybody. I'm your best friend. I'm your only friend. 45 00:03:41,875 --> 00:03:45,077 It's a remark like that that makes me not wanna tell you. 46 00:03:45,078 --> 00:03:49,581 I'm kidding. I can see a big flannel cloud hovering over your head. 47 00:03:49,582 --> 00:03:52,351 Come on, al. Tell me what's the matter. 48 00:03:55,822 --> 00:04:00,625 Well, last night, something very disturbing happened. 49 00:04:00,626 --> 00:04:03,229 Ilene... Had a dream. 50 00:04:03,230 --> 00:04:05,697 No. 51 00:04:05,698 --> 00:04:09,401 Not a dream. While she was sleeping? 52 00:04:09,402 --> 00:04:11,703 (whistles) 53 00:04:11,704 --> 00:04:14,506 Scientists may want to study her. 54 00:04:14,507 --> 00:04:17,209 You don't understand. It was a very passionate dream. 55 00:04:17,210 --> 00:04:20,545 Clothes were strewn about. Not strewn about! 56 00:04:21,948 --> 00:04:24,483 Yes, strewn. 57 00:04:24,484 --> 00:04:28,487 She was talking to this man who she said had a very deep voice. 58 00:04:28,488 --> 00:04:32,691 And they were... They were riding a golden stallion, 59 00:04:32,692 --> 00:04:35,494 And he was wearing bicycle shorts. 60 00:04:40,733 --> 00:04:42,734 Get a grip, will you? 61 00:04:42,735 --> 00:04:45,771 It's a dream. Don't you dream about other women sometimes? 62 00:04:45,772 --> 00:04:49,741 No! My dreams are good, clean fun. 63 00:04:49,742 --> 00:04:53,078 You're driving yourself crazy over a silly dream with some jerk in it. 64 00:04:53,079 --> 00:04:56,782 Well, it wasn't just some jerk, tim. It was you. 65 00:04:58,851 --> 00:05:01,320 Really? Oh, I shouldn't have told you that. 66 00:05:01,321 --> 00:05:02,988 Sure you should have. 67 00:05:02,989 --> 00:05:06,125 A golden stallion. Hyah! Hyah! 68 00:05:06,126 --> 00:05:08,593 Tight bicycle shorts. Tim! 69 00:05:08,594 --> 00:05:10,963 Hyah! Hyah! Hyah... 70 00:05:10,964 --> 00:05:15,067 It's just a dream, a very common dream. 71 00:05:15,068 --> 00:05:17,069 Women all over the tri-state area 72 00:05:17,070 --> 00:05:20,406 Look at me as a symbol of virility. 73 00:05:20,407 --> 00:05:23,809 All I can say is, I don't want you showing up in her dreams again, 74 00:05:23,810 --> 00:05:26,178 Or there's gonna be trouble. 75 00:05:28,148 --> 00:05:31,083 What, are you gonna fall asleep and dream like you're beating me up? 76 00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:36,121 Ok, I know that it's not your fault. 77 00:05:36,122 --> 00:05:39,925 It's just that ilene means so much to me. 78 00:05:39,926 --> 00:05:42,061 And, well... 79 00:05:42,062 --> 00:05:45,297 I wanted to be the one on that golden stallion riding into the sunset, 80 00:05:45,298 --> 00:05:48,267 Wearing skimpy bicycle shorts. 81 00:05:49,669 --> 00:05:52,438 (whistles) there's a pretty picture. 82 00:06:01,481 --> 00:06:04,350 E-a-t. "eat." 83 00:06:04,351 --> 00:06:06,651 Ok, that's three points. 84 00:06:06,652 --> 00:06:10,422 And it only took you half an hour to come up with it. 85 00:06:12,925 --> 00:06:15,127 Ok, randy. It's your turn. 86 00:06:15,128 --> 00:06:18,497 All right. I'll put an "m" on top of the "e," 87 00:06:18,498 --> 00:06:21,733 And then "l-o-n." that's "melon." 88 00:06:21,734 --> 00:06:25,070 Double word score - 14 points. 89 00:06:25,071 --> 00:06:28,040 Pretty good. Watch this. 90 00:06:29,675 --> 00:06:35,314 After the "n," I'll add "o-l-o-g-y." 91 00:06:35,315 --> 00:06:37,883 That's 16 points. 92 00:06:43,289 --> 00:06:45,024 "melonology"? 93 00:06:47,693 --> 00:06:49,828 The study of melons. 94 00:06:52,432 --> 00:06:54,966 There's no such word as "melonology." 95 00:06:54,967 --> 00:06:58,837 Yeah, there is. Call the fruit section at the grocery store. 96 00:06:58,838 --> 00:07:02,074 Who should I ask for - the melonologist? 97 00:07:03,243 --> 00:07:05,377 Hey. Hi, guys. Hey, dad. 98 00:07:05,378 --> 00:07:06,678 Hey, dad. Hey, dad. 99 00:07:06,679 --> 00:07:10,182 Scrabble. That's a great way to learn words. 100 00:07:10,183 --> 00:07:13,018 Who put down "melonology"? Brad. 101 00:07:13,019 --> 00:07:14,219 Me! 102 00:07:14,220 --> 00:07:16,021 All right. 103 00:07:18,991 --> 00:07:20,526 Hi. Hi. 104 00:07:20,527 --> 00:07:22,661 I'm so proud of brad. 105 00:07:22,662 --> 00:07:25,531 Playing scrabble, he came up with "melonology." 106 00:07:25,532 --> 00:07:27,666 That's not a word, tim. 107 00:07:27,667 --> 00:07:30,269 Melonology - the study of guys named mel. 108 00:07:32,105 --> 00:07:34,973 Did you tell al and ilene to come for dinner at seven? 109 00:07:34,974 --> 00:07:38,477 Yeah. They almost didn't come. 110 00:07:38,478 --> 00:07:41,480 Al's upset because apparently ilene had a dream about me. 111 00:07:41,481 --> 00:07:43,848 What'd she eat before she went to sleep? 112 00:07:45,518 --> 00:07:49,921 Get this. She dreamed that I was riding a golden stallion, 113 00:07:49,922 --> 00:07:52,657 With a deep sexy voice and tight bicycle shorts. 114 00:07:54,160 --> 00:07:57,796 Wow! She must have had a big bean burrito. 115 00:08:01,201 --> 00:08:03,868 Really? A lot of women watch tool time. 116 00:08:03,869 --> 00:08:08,507 Sooner or later, they are thinking, "I want him." 117 00:08:15,148 --> 00:08:18,383 Smirk if you will, but you're not the only woman who dreams about me. 118 00:08:18,384 --> 00:08:20,385 I don't dream about you, tim. 119 00:08:20,386 --> 00:08:23,021 It's bad enough I have to see you when I'm awake. 120 00:08:23,022 --> 00:08:25,457 Hey, guys, guys! Come take this laundry. 121 00:08:25,458 --> 00:08:27,559 Take it upstairs, fold it and put it away. 122 00:08:27,560 --> 00:08:29,861 Sure, mom. Yes, mother. 123 00:08:32,665 --> 00:08:35,534 They actually did it. 124 00:08:35,535 --> 00:08:39,004 Be honest with me. When you dream about me, what am I usually wearing? 125 00:08:39,005 --> 00:08:41,973 I told you. I don't dream about you. 126 00:08:41,974 --> 00:08:44,876 Who do you dream about? You know, the usual. 127 00:08:44,877 --> 00:08:47,946 Like mario andretti, al unser, that sort of stuff? 128 00:08:47,947 --> 00:08:50,482 No. That's who you dream about. 129 00:08:50,483 --> 00:08:53,285 The guy that I dream about isn't even real. 130 00:08:53,286 --> 00:08:57,623 If he's not real, it's, like, a cartoon character, like bullwinkle? 131 00:08:57,624 --> 00:09:00,192 No, tim. It's not bullwinkle. 132 00:09:00,193 --> 00:09:02,127 Scooby-doo? 133 00:09:02,128 --> 00:09:07,199 (laughs) yeah, that's right. You really know me! Me and scooby-doo. 134 00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:11,670 I hold scooby's hand. We walk along the scooby-beach. 135 00:09:11,671 --> 00:09:14,139 Do a little scooby-diving. 136 00:09:18,578 --> 00:09:21,880 Come on! If it isn't scooby-doo or bullwinkle, who is it? 137 00:09:21,881 --> 00:09:24,049 I'm not gonna tell you. You'll make fun of me. 138 00:09:24,050 --> 00:09:26,552 No, no. I'll make you a deal. 139 00:09:26,553 --> 00:09:29,020 I'll tell you what I dream about if you tell me what you dream about. 140 00:09:29,021 --> 00:09:31,122 I don't wanna know what you dream about. 141 00:09:31,123 --> 00:09:33,325 All right, it's your turn. (laughs) 142 00:09:35,728 --> 00:09:40,098 All right. If you must know... 143 00:09:40,099 --> 00:09:42,067 I dream about tarzan. 144 00:09:44,304 --> 00:09:46,004 Tarzan of the jungle? 145 00:09:46,005 --> 00:09:49,908 No, tarzan of st. Louis. 146 00:09:49,909 --> 00:09:52,811 Tarzan doesn't even have a car. 147 00:09:52,812 --> 00:09:57,449 We don't need a car. We never leave the tree house. 148 00:09:57,450 --> 00:09:59,351 It's just tarzan and me. I'm jane. 149 00:09:59,352 --> 00:10:01,353 I'm wearing this cute leopard-skinned outfit, 150 00:10:01,354 --> 00:10:04,356 And I have big, beautiful breasts. 151 00:10:05,425 --> 00:10:07,892 I dream about that, too. 152 00:10:14,900 --> 00:10:18,036 What's the big deal about tarzan? 153 00:10:18,037 --> 00:10:23,908 Well, tarzan's very strong but sensitive. 154 00:10:23,909 --> 00:10:28,447 Takes me in his arms, pulls me up to this big, huge, muscular chest. 155 00:10:28,448 --> 00:10:32,584 I can hear his heart beating. My heart beats faster. 156 00:10:32,585 --> 00:10:35,120 I close my eyes, he starts kissing my neck... 157 00:10:35,121 --> 00:10:37,689 Jill... Then he starts kissing... 158 00:10:37,690 --> 00:10:39,691 Got a minute? 159 00:10:40,793 --> 00:10:43,328 Sorry. 160 00:10:43,329 --> 00:10:45,397 God, is it hot in here? 161 00:10:50,370 --> 00:10:53,805 You told al and ilene seven, right? It's ten after. They're still not here. 162 00:10:53,806 --> 00:10:56,875 Ilene probably wanted to get in a nap, 163 00:10:56,876 --> 00:10:59,244 Have one more dream about me before tonight. 164 00:11:01,481 --> 00:11:06,251 Stop it right there! No jokes about ilene's dream tonight. 165 00:11:06,252 --> 00:11:08,453 The last thing in the world I wanna talk about tonight 166 00:11:08,454 --> 00:11:12,123 Is me on a golden stallion, 167 00:11:12,124 --> 00:11:14,559 Dressed in bicycle shorts so tight, 168 00:11:14,560 --> 00:11:18,497 No woman could resist me. 169 00:11:18,498 --> 00:11:20,999 This is not something that you should joke about. 170 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:23,001 You saying I can't be myself in my own home? 171 00:11:23,002 --> 00:11:25,704 Yes, exactly. Be somebody else. Anybody else. 172 00:11:25,705 --> 00:11:28,139 (doorbell rings) 173 00:11:28,140 --> 00:11:30,575 I certainly hope ilene can control herself. 174 00:11:30,576 --> 00:11:34,279 You know how sexy my deep voice is to her. 175 00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:36,815 Then do us all a favor and shut up. 176 00:11:36,816 --> 00:11:39,184 Hi! Come on in. Hi. 177 00:11:39,185 --> 00:11:42,187 It's great of you to have us over. It's nice to have you. 178 00:11:42,188 --> 00:11:44,255 I brought a very lovely tart. 179 00:11:44,256 --> 00:11:48,393 Al, that's no way to talk about ilene. 180 00:11:48,394 --> 00:11:49,994 I was talking about... 181 00:11:49,995 --> 00:11:52,431 Honey, he was kidding. 182 00:11:52,432 --> 00:11:55,233 You have a delightful sense of humor. Thanks. I try. 183 00:11:55,234 --> 00:11:58,370 Well, I have a delightful sense of humor, too. 184 00:11:58,371 --> 00:12:00,339 A lot of people find me hilarious. 185 00:12:00,340 --> 00:12:04,509 Of course you are. It's just that your humor is more... Subtle. 186 00:12:04,510 --> 00:12:06,978 Yeah. Sometimes al doesn't even get it. 187 00:12:08,748 --> 00:12:10,749 You guys want some wine? I'd love some. 188 00:12:10,750 --> 00:12:12,751 I could be persuaded to partake. 189 00:12:12,752 --> 00:12:15,687 Would you like to sit down? Could you take the cheese with you when you go? 190 00:12:15,688 --> 00:12:16,955 Great. 191 00:12:16,956 --> 00:12:20,559 I love a good cheese ball. 192 00:12:20,560 --> 00:12:22,627 So, ilene, how was work today? 193 00:12:22,628 --> 00:12:25,764 Actually, I had a pretty tough day today. 194 00:12:25,765 --> 00:12:27,833 Well, you know what they say about the dental world - 195 00:12:27,834 --> 00:12:30,101 "it's like pulling teeth." 196 00:12:32,037 --> 00:12:34,005 It's pulling teeth. (forced laugh) 197 00:12:36,208 --> 00:12:39,210 Actually, most orthodontists don't pull teeth. 198 00:12:39,211 --> 00:12:43,214 Well, I know that. I was making a joke. Oh. 199 00:12:43,215 --> 00:12:44,649 And a good one. 200 00:12:44,650 --> 00:12:47,853 Just a lot more subtle than one I would have picked. 201 00:12:47,854 --> 00:12:48,987 Cheers! 202 00:12:48,988 --> 00:12:50,589 Cheers! Cheers! 203 00:12:50,590 --> 00:12:52,924 I'm trying a new recipe. I hope you all like it. 204 00:12:52,925 --> 00:12:56,227 Oh, I'm sure it'll be great. I'm so hungry, I could eat a horse. 205 00:12:56,228 --> 00:12:57,863 (al and tim choke) 206 00:13:06,272 --> 00:13:07,305 You're in luck. 207 00:13:10,443 --> 00:13:12,377 Jill cooked stallion. Tim. 208 00:13:14,714 --> 00:13:16,748 Did I say "stallion"? I meant "scallion." 209 00:13:16,749 --> 00:13:20,184 Big golden scallion. 210 00:13:23,589 --> 00:13:25,023 Tim, would you just...? 211 00:13:25,024 --> 00:13:26,658 I'm talking about scallions. 212 00:13:26,659 --> 00:13:28,593 I know what you're talking about. 213 00:13:28,594 --> 00:13:32,531 Well, it's not like I said she's cooking bicycle shorts. 214 00:13:35,568 --> 00:13:38,937 Wait a minute. Bicycle shorts? 215 00:13:38,938 --> 00:13:41,473 Al, did you tell him about my dream? 216 00:13:41,474 --> 00:13:45,577 Well, no. I... Yes. 217 00:13:45,578 --> 00:13:49,314 I told you that in confidence. And I told you that in confidence. 218 00:13:49,315 --> 00:13:51,516 And I told you not to bring up ilene's dream! 219 00:13:51,517 --> 00:13:53,685 Tim told you? You told jill? 220 00:13:53,686 --> 00:13:55,954 He shouldn't have. Al, this is your fault. 221 00:13:55,955 --> 00:13:58,557 It's tim's fault. It's not. She had the dream. 222 00:13:58,558 --> 00:14:00,559 Would you please shut up? 223 00:14:00,560 --> 00:14:02,627 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! What are we talking about? 224 00:14:02,628 --> 00:14:04,930 It's out. Now we can laugh about it, huh? 225 00:14:04,931 --> 00:14:06,965 I have never been so embarrassed. 226 00:14:06,966 --> 00:14:09,267 Tim, I... Ilene! 227 00:14:09,268 --> 00:14:13,605 Guys, guys, come on. What's the big deal? It's just a silly dream. 228 00:14:13,606 --> 00:14:15,941 Jill dreams about being naked, running around with tarzan. 229 00:14:15,942 --> 00:14:16,908 Tim! 230 00:14:20,379 --> 00:14:25,450 How can I confide in you again? I tell you something in private and now the world knows. 231 00:14:25,451 --> 00:14:28,186 It's not like the world knows. I'm really sorry, jill. 232 00:14:28,187 --> 00:14:30,188 I'm sorry, too. I... 233 00:14:33,258 --> 00:14:36,327 Ilene, come on. What? 234 00:14:37,396 --> 00:14:38,797 (grunts) 235 00:14:39,866 --> 00:14:41,867 You gotta like guests like that 236 00:14:41,868 --> 00:14:44,168 That don't overstay their welcome. 237 00:14:48,941 --> 00:14:51,843 (ilene) I thought you and I were... 238 00:14:51,844 --> 00:14:54,880 ...Tell tim about me. Get away from that window! 239 00:14:54,881 --> 00:14:57,115 They're really going at it out there. 240 00:14:57,116 --> 00:14:59,117 Tim, I hope you're happy now. 241 00:14:59,118 --> 00:15:01,352 Do you ever stop and think before you make stupid jokes? 242 00:15:01,353 --> 00:15:03,354 I couldn't help it. She said "horse." 243 00:15:03,355 --> 00:15:05,356 The only thing you could come up with is, 244 00:15:05,357 --> 00:15:09,060 "at least she's not cooking bicycle shorts"? 245 00:15:09,061 --> 00:15:11,696 You are supposed to be al's friend. 246 00:15:11,697 --> 00:15:12,964 I am al's friend. 247 00:15:12,965 --> 00:15:14,966 He was really upset about this, 248 00:15:14,967 --> 00:15:16,968 And I was trying to help him get over it. 249 00:15:16,969 --> 00:15:20,338 By embarrassing him. No, no, no, no, by making him laugh. 250 00:15:20,339 --> 00:15:23,074 I thought if he laughed, he'd realize this is just a silly dream. 251 00:15:23,075 --> 00:15:26,411 How do you think al's feeling now? How do you think ilene is feeling? 252 00:15:26,412 --> 00:15:28,747 You told them about my tarzan dream! 253 00:15:28,748 --> 00:15:30,549 Well, how do you think I'm feeling? 254 00:15:34,620 --> 00:15:37,522 What do you have to feel bad about? 255 00:15:37,523 --> 00:15:39,791 I don't know. Give me a minute. 256 00:15:39,792 --> 00:15:41,927 Jill, it's gonna be ok. 257 00:15:41,928 --> 00:15:44,195 They're a couple, they had a little tiff. 258 00:15:44,196 --> 00:15:46,932 They'll get over it. Every relationship goes through stuff like this. 259 00:15:46,933 --> 00:15:49,801 In the long run, al's gonna thank me for this. 260 00:15:49,802 --> 00:15:53,337 Well, thank you, tim. There you go. 261 00:15:53,338 --> 00:15:56,741 Ilene broke up with me, she took my car and never wants to see me again. 262 00:15:56,742 --> 00:16:00,311 Al, she's coming back. How would you know? 263 00:16:00,312 --> 00:16:02,814 Well, if she doesn't, it's grand theft auto. 264 00:16:14,426 --> 00:16:17,729 Practicing for the ballet, wilson? 265 00:16:17,730 --> 00:16:21,600 No, tim. I'm just reacquainting myself with t'ai chi, 266 00:16:21,601 --> 00:16:25,536 An ancient form of chinese exercise. 267 00:16:25,537 --> 00:16:28,172 It balances the female and the male, 268 00:16:28,173 --> 00:16:30,408 The yin and the yang. 269 00:16:31,978 --> 00:16:35,780 From over here, the yin thinks the yang is a "yidiot." 270 00:16:35,781 --> 00:16:39,250 (chuckles) 271 00:16:39,251 --> 00:16:40,551 Troubles, neighbor tim? 272 00:16:40,552 --> 00:16:42,220 I don't know... Troubles. 273 00:16:42,221 --> 00:16:45,189 Al's girlfriend ilene had a dream about me, 274 00:16:45,190 --> 00:16:48,727 So I made a joke about it, and she got upset and broke up with al. 275 00:16:48,728 --> 00:16:50,729 Jill thinks it's all my fault. 276 00:16:50,730 --> 00:16:54,065 Tim, humor can be a wonderful thing. 277 00:16:54,066 --> 00:16:58,603 The koran says, "he deserves paradise who makes his companions laugh." 278 00:16:58,604 --> 00:17:03,008 Yeah... Those koreans know what's funny. 279 00:17:09,081 --> 00:17:10,782 On the other hand, tim, 280 00:17:10,783 --> 00:17:13,985 Cervantes, the 16th-century novelist, said... 281 00:17:13,986 --> 00:17:17,822 "a jest that gives pain is no jest." 282 00:17:17,823 --> 00:17:20,324 In this case, you might have caused a little bit of pain. 283 00:17:20,325 --> 00:17:22,560 I certainly didn't mean to. 284 00:17:22,561 --> 00:17:25,764 Jokes are what I'm all about. That's why people like me. 285 00:17:25,765 --> 00:17:28,867 Well, maybe sometimes you go too far. 286 00:17:28,868 --> 00:17:31,502 I just didn't take the dream that seriously. 287 00:17:31,503 --> 00:17:35,940 Some people do. You know, dreams can have a deep and profound meaning. 288 00:17:35,941 --> 00:17:38,643 You know what the psychoanalyst carl jung said? 289 00:17:38,644 --> 00:17:42,147 Yin, yang, jung? Where does it end, wilson? 290 00:17:42,148 --> 00:17:45,984 Jung said dreams were merely symbols of something else. 291 00:17:45,985 --> 00:17:50,055 Plus, he recognized the significance of names and letters in dreams. 292 00:17:50,056 --> 00:17:52,423 In particular, first initials. 293 00:17:52,424 --> 00:17:55,927 Hmm. First initials, huh? 294 00:17:55,928 --> 00:17:59,530 Jill dreams about tarzan and jane. That's a "t" and a "j." 295 00:17:59,531 --> 00:18:01,632 She's jane, that's jill. Mm-hmm. 296 00:18:01,633 --> 00:18:05,336 "t" could be tim. Tim and jill. We're tarzan and jane? 297 00:18:05,337 --> 00:18:07,672 Very good, tarzan. Jung would be impressed. 298 00:18:07,673 --> 00:18:09,307 Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho. 299 00:18:11,911 --> 00:18:14,212 Hi, heidi. Hi, tim. 300 00:18:14,213 --> 00:18:16,981 Al, I called to see if you needed a ride, but you were gone. 301 00:18:16,982 --> 00:18:18,917 Heidi gave me a ride. 302 00:18:18,918 --> 00:18:21,252 So ilene still has your car? 303 00:18:21,253 --> 00:18:23,755 Yes. 304 00:18:23,756 --> 00:18:25,590 Buddy, on the bright side, 305 00:18:25,591 --> 00:18:28,860 Without a car, you get some exercise. Ride your bike to work. 306 00:18:28,861 --> 00:18:30,795 I'll loan you my bicycle shorts. 307 00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:37,102 Sorry, tim, I'm not my usual jocular self. 308 00:18:37,103 --> 00:18:39,838 Well, the other night, 309 00:18:39,839 --> 00:18:42,373 I certainly didn't mean to upset you or ilene. 310 00:18:42,374 --> 00:18:44,709 I shoot my mouth off, 311 00:18:44,710 --> 00:18:47,245 And you're just a big, bearded bull's-eye. 312 00:18:49,414 --> 00:18:51,916 Was that supposed to be an apology? 313 00:18:51,917 --> 00:18:53,551 Yeah. 314 00:18:53,552 --> 00:18:56,888 You see? Even in your apologies, you have to insult me. 315 00:18:56,889 --> 00:19:00,225 I'm kidding. You want to rehearse for the show? 316 00:19:00,226 --> 00:19:03,361 You never want to rehearse. 317 00:19:03,362 --> 00:19:05,396 I thought it'd make you feel better. 318 00:19:05,397 --> 00:19:07,498 It's not gonna make me feel better. 319 00:19:07,499 --> 00:19:10,501 Al, I only make fun of people and joke around with people I like. 320 00:19:10,502 --> 00:19:12,603 You must like me an awful lot. 321 00:19:12,604 --> 00:19:15,774 I think of you like one of my brothers. 322 00:19:15,775 --> 00:19:18,609 You do? Yeah. I joked with them all the time. 323 00:19:18,610 --> 00:19:22,213 That's why most of them won't speak to me to this day. 324 00:19:24,549 --> 00:19:26,584 So what you're saying is that 325 00:19:26,585 --> 00:19:30,521 When you make fun of my weight and my beard, it's because you like me? 326 00:19:30,522 --> 00:19:31,455 Yeah. 327 00:19:32,992 --> 00:19:36,294 How about when you tease me about wearing flannel? 328 00:19:38,297 --> 00:19:40,932 I do that because you look ridiculous. 329 00:19:46,705 --> 00:19:48,773 Well, I never told you this, tim, 330 00:19:48,774 --> 00:19:52,643 But I think of you as a brother, too. 331 00:19:56,748 --> 00:19:59,117 Ilene. Of course you lean. You're lopsided. 332 00:20:03,388 --> 00:20:04,989 Down there. 333 00:20:04,990 --> 00:20:08,827 I just stopped by to give you your car. 334 00:20:08,828 --> 00:20:11,329 I got to go back to work. 335 00:20:12,965 --> 00:20:17,235 Ilene, I am so sorry that I told tim about that dream. 336 00:20:17,236 --> 00:20:19,237 It's just that I was so upset. 337 00:20:19,238 --> 00:20:22,606 I didn't feel like I was man enough for you. 338 00:20:22,607 --> 00:20:25,543 You really felt that way? 339 00:20:26,846 --> 00:20:29,147 Yes. 340 00:20:29,148 --> 00:20:34,485 Oh, al, you are the manliest man I've ever met. 341 00:20:36,588 --> 00:20:40,391 Well, then why were you dreaming about tim? 342 00:20:40,392 --> 00:20:44,329 Oh, could I take a crack at that one? 343 00:20:44,330 --> 00:20:48,532 There's this korean philosopher, yin yang jung, 344 00:20:48,533 --> 00:20:51,535 And he talks about dreams, and dreams are a lot about initials. 345 00:20:51,536 --> 00:20:53,972 She's dreaming about tim taylor, it's "tt." 346 00:20:53,973 --> 00:20:56,875 It could have been "tub of tomatoes," "tony the tiger..." 347 00:20:56,876 --> 00:20:59,978 Oh, "tater tot." tater tot, that's it. Tater tot. 348 00:20:59,979 --> 00:21:03,381 You put a flannel shirt on a tater tot, you got you. 349 00:21:04,984 --> 00:21:06,617 Thanks, tim. Mm-hmm. 350 00:21:06,618 --> 00:21:08,686 You've been a big help. 351 00:21:08,687 --> 00:21:10,922 I'm good with dreams. 352 00:21:10,923 --> 00:21:15,393 Oh, al, it was just a silly dream. 353 00:21:15,394 --> 00:21:20,431 When I'm awake, all I dream about is you. 354 00:21:20,432 --> 00:21:23,634 Well, all I dream about is you. 355 00:21:23,635 --> 00:21:26,137 Really? Yes. 356 00:21:40,786 --> 00:21:46,257 You know, I'm thinking "tt" could be "tool time." 357 00:21:46,258 --> 00:21:48,692 It could be... Ooh-how! 358 00:21:50,495 --> 00:21:52,096 Ta-ta! 359 00:22:05,444 --> 00:22:06,777 Tim! 360 00:22:08,380 --> 00:22:10,614 Wow! 361 00:22:10,615 --> 00:22:12,917 Roses, champagne. 362 00:22:12,918 --> 00:22:17,422 Oh! You even put the little butter knives on. 363 00:22:17,423 --> 00:22:19,223 Tim? 364 00:22:19,224 --> 00:22:20,558 Where are you? 365 00:22:23,295 --> 00:22:24,528 Tim? 366 00:22:35,740 --> 00:22:36,740 Tim? 367 00:22:45,417 --> 00:22:48,086 (tarzan yell) 368 00:22:50,155 --> 00:22:52,790 It's 15 degrees out there. 369 00:22:52,791 --> 00:22:54,859 You jane, me frozen. 370 00:22:59,431 --> 00:23:02,033 Somebody get macy's on the phone. Hey, hey, hey! 371 00:23:14,546 --> 00:23:16,481 He looks like a blowfish! 372 00:23:18,817 --> 00:23:20,618 This little piggy went to market. 373 00:23:20,619 --> 00:23:22,553 This little piggy went home. 374 00:23:24,856 --> 00:23:27,791 Shouldn't have had that last burrito, huh?