1 00:00:03,757 --> 00:00:05,758 Hi. Tim "the tool man" taylor. 2 00:00:05,759 --> 00:00:09,128 And you all know my assistant al "this land is" borland. 3 00:00:10,931 --> 00:00:12,364 Today we're talking about 4 00:00:12,365 --> 00:00:14,900 Binford's new high-tech security alarm systems for cars, 5 00:00:14,901 --> 00:00:18,403 'cause a secure car... Is a happy car. 6 00:00:19,773 --> 00:00:22,041 While a car that isn't so secure 7 00:00:22,042 --> 00:00:25,978 Can cost you thousands of dollars in therapy fees. 8 00:00:25,979 --> 00:00:29,015 The most inexpensive way to protect your car 9 00:00:29,016 --> 00:00:33,519 Is with the binford 6100 steering-wheel lock. 10 00:00:33,520 --> 00:00:35,554 It's a good lock, but if you've got a larger car - 11 00:00:35,555 --> 00:00:38,257 A monster truck, front-end loader or a space shuttle - 12 00:00:38,258 --> 00:00:40,026 You want the binford 61,000,000. 13 00:00:42,929 --> 00:00:45,765 Now, there's a lock. Look at the size of that thing. 14 00:00:47,400 --> 00:00:50,502 Well, if you wanna go the more sophisticated route... 15 00:00:50,503 --> 00:00:54,273 (bad english accent) you might wanna watch masterpiece tool time 16 00:00:54,274 --> 00:00:57,109 With your host alistair bo-o-o-orland. 17 00:01:01,782 --> 00:01:03,783 Would that be an english accent? 18 00:01:06,687 --> 00:01:08,854 I was talking more along the lines 19 00:01:08,855 --> 00:01:12,158 Of an electric car alarm, the most basic of which will go off 20 00:01:12,159 --> 00:01:14,193 If your doors or windows are tampered with. 21 00:01:14,194 --> 00:01:15,828 Right, but you can customize. 22 00:01:15,829 --> 00:01:19,398 You can have automatic door locks, ignition cutoff, gas cutoff. 23 00:01:19,399 --> 00:01:22,101 And not a moment too soon. 24 00:01:23,870 --> 00:01:26,172 Very funny, tim. 25 00:01:26,173 --> 00:01:28,540 I'm sure our nursery-school viewers 26 00:01:28,541 --> 00:01:31,443 Are rolling in their sandboxes. 27 00:01:31,444 --> 00:01:34,046 (hisses) 28 00:01:34,047 --> 00:01:36,648 Now, if you wanna go the whole hog, you... 29 00:01:36,649 --> 00:01:38,584 No. 30 00:01:38,585 --> 00:01:41,787 You probably want the binford thiefbuster 1000. 31 00:01:41,788 --> 00:01:43,789 It has a personalized voice warning system. 32 00:01:43,790 --> 00:01:46,025 I installed it on this pony myself. 33 00:01:47,127 --> 00:01:50,029 (alarm chirps) act like a thief. 34 00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:57,103 (tim's voice) back away, flannel man! Back away, flannel man! 35 00:01:57,104 --> 00:01:59,805 Back away, flannel man! Back away, flannel man! 36 00:03:08,809 --> 00:03:11,443 What do you think? Could we put the kids in the middle? 37 00:03:14,614 --> 00:03:18,483 I made the car alarm a little less sensitive. Only big flies set it off. 38 00:03:18,484 --> 00:03:20,485 What's going on? 39 00:03:20,486 --> 00:03:22,454 It's the cooking with irma audience. 40 00:03:22,455 --> 00:03:24,790 They're starting a little early. You wanna give me a hand? 41 00:03:24,791 --> 00:03:26,458 No one told me about this. 42 00:03:26,459 --> 00:03:29,261 They're bringing in the set, pronto. 43 00:03:34,935 --> 00:03:37,169 Hey, irma. Oh! Hi, guys! 44 00:03:37,170 --> 00:03:39,271 Hi. What's cookin'? 45 00:03:39,272 --> 00:03:41,841 I'm making up a batch of my ratatouille. 46 00:03:41,842 --> 00:03:44,543 Really? Hmm. 47 00:03:44,544 --> 00:03:46,212 How many parts rat, 48 00:03:46,213 --> 00:03:48,280 How many parts... (imitates irma) ..."tatouille"? 49 00:03:48,281 --> 00:03:51,450 Oh, timothy, I just love your delightful insouciance. 50 00:03:51,451 --> 00:03:54,720 Al, would you like a taste? I thought you would never ask. 51 00:03:57,623 --> 00:03:59,225 You bake this, irma? 52 00:04:00,961 --> 00:04:02,694 Ooh, boy! 53 00:04:02,695 --> 00:04:06,832 Do I detect a hint of tarragon and a soupçon of oregano? 54 00:04:06,833 --> 00:04:08,968 Oh, very good, al. 55 00:04:08,969 --> 00:04:11,971 Well, I use that in my own ratatouille. 56 00:04:11,972 --> 00:04:15,341 You gals have so much in common. 57 00:04:15,342 --> 00:04:18,377 I have just had some wonderful news. 58 00:04:18,378 --> 00:04:20,379 I just found out that my daughter 59 00:04:20,380 --> 00:04:23,548 Has had a beautiful baby girl! 60 00:04:23,549 --> 00:04:25,617 Congratulations. Congratulations, irma. 61 00:04:25,618 --> 00:04:27,753 I can't believe that my sweet radish 62 00:04:27,754 --> 00:04:30,356 Has a little cabbage of her own. 63 00:04:30,357 --> 00:04:32,657 Where was the cabbage delivered, in salad bar? 64 00:04:32,658 --> 00:04:36,061 Oh, timothy, you are incorrigible. 65 00:04:36,062 --> 00:04:38,797 Anyway, I'm gonna be gone until next Sunday, 66 00:04:38,798 --> 00:04:41,800 And I was wondering if I could impose on you 67 00:04:41,801 --> 00:04:44,803 To... Fill in for me. 68 00:04:44,804 --> 00:04:47,839 You know, be irma for a week. 69 00:04:49,209 --> 00:04:51,843 Irma for a week?! I don't know. 70 00:04:51,844 --> 00:04:54,146 Come on, tim. Irma needs our help. 71 00:04:54,147 --> 00:04:56,581 Her radish just had a cabbage. 72 00:04:58,251 --> 00:05:00,953 Well, when you put it like that, al... 73 00:05:00,954 --> 00:05:02,821 Hmm... I could host it. 74 00:05:02,822 --> 00:05:05,057 We could have that spam casserole. Al could assist me. 75 00:05:05,058 --> 00:05:07,092 Oh, well, as a matter of fact, 76 00:05:07,093 --> 00:05:09,395 Since al is such a wonderful cook, 77 00:05:09,396 --> 00:05:11,397 I was hoping that he would host it 78 00:05:11,398 --> 00:05:14,833 And that you would assist him. 79 00:05:16,202 --> 00:05:18,037 Uh... I don't... 80 00:05:18,038 --> 00:05:20,406 I really don't think al would be comfortable with that. 81 00:05:20,407 --> 00:05:22,841 I would love the opportunity. 82 00:05:22,842 --> 00:05:25,277 In fact, you might say I would relish it. 83 00:05:25,278 --> 00:05:28,113 "relish"? Oh, al! 84 00:05:28,114 --> 00:05:31,283 I just admire your joie de vivre. 85 00:05:31,284 --> 00:05:34,386 That's french for "big butt crack," isn't it? 86 00:05:40,326 --> 00:05:42,027 Hey, mom. Hey, mom. 87 00:05:42,028 --> 00:05:43,829 Hi, kids. How was school? 88 00:05:43,830 --> 00:05:46,432 Great. We got our class pictures back. 89 00:05:46,433 --> 00:05:49,234 Good. Let me see. Where are you? 90 00:05:49,235 --> 00:05:51,136 Third one from the right. 91 00:05:51,137 --> 00:05:54,006 You're a little asian girl? 92 00:05:54,007 --> 00:05:55,174 I meant the left. 93 00:05:55,175 --> 00:05:58,010 Oh, you look so cute! 94 00:05:58,011 --> 00:06:01,813 Thanks, mommy. You look great. Randy, let me see yours. 95 00:06:01,814 --> 00:06:03,815 I look like a total dork. 96 00:06:03,816 --> 00:06:07,119 Yeah, right. Let me see it. Where are you? There. 97 00:06:10,756 --> 00:06:13,592 You look very cute, for somebody who's looking at the girl next to him 98 00:06:13,593 --> 00:06:15,995 With his tongue hanging out. 99 00:06:17,964 --> 00:06:19,965 Yep. Her name's beth. 100 00:06:19,966 --> 00:06:22,468 Jeremy said I should ask her to go steady. 101 00:06:22,469 --> 00:06:27,639 Really? Does she feel the same way about you? 102 00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:30,009 I don't know. I've never talked to her. 103 00:06:31,011 --> 00:06:33,245 Well, then asking her to go steady 104 00:06:33,246 --> 00:06:35,447 May be a bit of a leap. 105 00:06:37,550 --> 00:06:39,684 What should I say to her? 106 00:06:39,685 --> 00:06:43,722 You could say something like... "hello." 107 00:06:43,723 --> 00:06:46,725 Yeah. "hello." 108 00:06:46,726 --> 00:06:49,128 That's good. 109 00:06:49,129 --> 00:06:51,397 "hello, beth." no. 110 00:06:51,398 --> 00:06:54,166 Maybe, "hi, beth." 111 00:06:54,167 --> 00:06:58,437 Or maybe "hi" and no "beth." she knows who she is, right? 112 00:06:58,438 --> 00:07:00,572 Right? Right. 113 00:07:00,573 --> 00:07:03,608 Will you relax. Sit down. 114 00:07:03,609 --> 00:07:05,677 Pretend that I'm beth. You know, just talk to me. 115 00:07:07,647 --> 00:07:09,648 I don't know what to say. 116 00:07:09,649 --> 00:07:11,083 Tell me I'm pretty. 117 00:07:11,084 --> 00:07:13,385 Are you mom or beth? 118 00:07:19,692 --> 00:07:21,726 (sternly) does it matter? 119 00:07:25,131 --> 00:07:27,266 You're pretty, beth. 120 00:07:27,267 --> 00:07:29,268 And mom. 121 00:07:37,544 --> 00:07:41,046 (imitates julia child) I'm ready for my cooking debut. 122 00:07:41,047 --> 00:07:44,216 Al, something smells wonderful back here. 123 00:07:45,952 --> 00:07:47,953 Goodness, it's me! 124 00:07:47,954 --> 00:07:49,888 Tim, the show is about to begin. 125 00:07:49,889 --> 00:07:52,591 Are you wearing an apron? Brought one from home. 126 00:07:56,162 --> 00:07:58,464 Does everybody know who's in the kitchen? 127 00:07:58,465 --> 00:08:00,966 Irma! That's right, it's cooking with irma... 128 00:08:00,967 --> 00:08:04,002 With special guest chef al borland! 129 00:08:04,003 --> 00:08:06,505 (applause) 130 00:08:11,511 --> 00:08:13,945 (musical flourish) thank you, klaus. 131 00:08:13,946 --> 00:08:15,847 Thank you, heidi. 132 00:08:15,848 --> 00:08:18,350 That's right, I'm al "the food man" borland. 133 00:08:18,351 --> 00:08:23,422 You all know my assistant tim "doesn't know gumbo from dumbo" taylor. 134 00:08:27,127 --> 00:08:30,895 Not so. Dumbo, of course, is a pachyderm. 135 00:08:30,896 --> 00:08:33,798 Gumbo is a flexible green guy that rides pokey. 136 00:08:40,373 --> 00:08:44,543 Ok, well, today, we are cooking cajun style, 137 00:08:44,544 --> 00:08:46,612 And that means gumbo. 138 00:08:46,613 --> 00:08:49,948 Now, one of the most important ingredients in gumbo is... 139 00:08:49,949 --> 00:08:52,151 Gum. Lots of gum. 140 00:08:52,152 --> 00:08:54,153 Just take it off the bottom of tables and... 141 00:08:54,154 --> 00:08:57,556 Tim. That would be okra. 142 00:08:57,557 --> 00:09:01,293 Okra! From the great state of okra-homa. 143 00:09:05,031 --> 00:09:08,933 That's a joke. Half state, half vegetable. 144 00:09:08,934 --> 00:09:11,336 Like arkan-slaw. 145 00:09:14,040 --> 00:09:17,476 There's no sense making jokes about food, is there? 146 00:09:17,477 --> 00:09:19,010 Now... Ha-ha! 147 00:09:19,011 --> 00:09:21,880 The wonderful thing about gumbo is that, 148 00:09:21,881 --> 00:09:26,652 In addition to your vegetables and your spices, 149 00:09:26,653 --> 00:09:29,621 You can throw just about anything into the pot. 150 00:09:33,326 --> 00:09:38,063 You know, if we put al's mom in the pot, we'd have jumbo gumbo. 151 00:09:42,001 --> 00:09:47,072 You'd have to know al's mom to get that joke. 152 00:09:47,073 --> 00:09:50,609 She's a large, angry woman. 153 00:09:50,610 --> 00:09:53,312 Like so many of you out there today. 154 00:09:56,616 --> 00:09:59,318 All right, well... 155 00:09:59,319 --> 00:10:02,454 Getting back to our cajun cooking, 156 00:10:02,455 --> 00:10:06,191 Do you think that they call it cajun cooking because you cook it in a cage? 157 00:10:10,963 --> 00:10:13,532 Oh, come on! 158 00:10:13,533 --> 00:10:16,301 You thought that was funny, but you didn't like "okra-homa"? 159 00:10:19,038 --> 00:10:22,907 Why don't you be a big help and take the tops off those peppers? 160 00:10:22,908 --> 00:10:27,078 Now, cajun cooking is distinguished by using a lot of very hot peppers, 161 00:10:27,079 --> 00:10:29,281 And, um... 162 00:10:29,282 --> 00:10:30,949 (tim yells) 163 00:10:30,950 --> 00:10:32,951 As tim has just demonstrated here, 164 00:10:32,952 --> 00:10:34,919 If you happen to bite into a pepper, 165 00:10:34,920 --> 00:10:38,323 You wanna drink plenty of milk, never water. 166 00:10:38,324 --> 00:10:40,024 (yells) 167 00:10:40,025 --> 00:10:42,026 Water will only make it worse. 168 00:10:42,027 --> 00:10:44,062 Or you can bite into a piece of bread. 169 00:10:47,133 --> 00:10:49,501 But not jalapeño bread. 170 00:10:55,441 --> 00:10:58,943 Good night, mrs. Mcdowell. Thank you for coming, mrs. Yost. 171 00:10:58,944 --> 00:11:01,346 Remember the weather report from the kitchen - 172 00:11:01,347 --> 00:11:03,382 "chili today, hot tamale." 173 00:11:08,488 --> 00:11:10,255 Hey! 174 00:11:10,256 --> 00:11:12,791 They loved me! They hated me. 175 00:11:12,792 --> 00:11:15,059 Well, you started off a little rocky, 176 00:11:15,060 --> 00:11:17,061 But once you were in too much pain to talk, 177 00:11:17,062 --> 00:11:20,299 Boy, the show really took off. 178 00:11:20,300 --> 00:11:22,867 I'm gonna take off. I don't wanna do this tomorrow. 179 00:11:22,868 --> 00:11:25,370 What are you talking about? Come on. 180 00:11:25,371 --> 00:11:28,607 You don't need me here. You cook well enough by yourself. I'm just a burden. 181 00:11:28,608 --> 00:11:30,509 How many guys does it take to lift a radish? 182 00:11:30,510 --> 00:11:32,844 Now come on. We promised irma. 183 00:11:32,845 --> 00:11:37,549 Besides, tomorrow, I'm cooking with poultry, and I'm gonna need some help. 184 00:11:37,550 --> 00:11:40,885 Why don't you get one of your blue-haired groupies to help you out? 185 00:11:40,886 --> 00:11:44,189 I get it. I see what it is. 186 00:11:44,190 --> 00:11:47,959 You're just jealous because now I'm the star. 187 00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:51,029 The star? You're guest hosting a cable cooking show. 188 00:11:51,030 --> 00:11:53,598 Yeah, well, I know why you're backing out. 189 00:11:53,599 --> 00:11:57,736 It's just because you're not the center of attention. 190 00:11:57,737 --> 00:12:01,673 I just don't like being your dopey sidekick. You know how demeaning that is? 191 00:12:07,814 --> 00:12:10,081 Don't look at me like that. This is not like tool time. 192 00:12:10,082 --> 00:12:12,116 No, it's not like tool time, 193 00:12:12,117 --> 00:12:14,586 Because you're the star, and I'm the dopey sidekick! 194 00:12:14,587 --> 00:12:17,389 I've never used the word "sidekick." 195 00:12:25,665 --> 00:12:28,767 Hey, randy, wait till you hear this. 196 00:12:28,768 --> 00:12:32,571 I talked to ashley, and beth is mildly interested in you. 197 00:12:32,572 --> 00:12:35,474 All right, she's mildly interested! 198 00:12:35,475 --> 00:12:37,809 They're coming over after school to hang together. 199 00:12:37,810 --> 00:12:40,645 If she likes you, she's gonna give ashley the nod. 200 00:12:40,646 --> 00:12:43,114 "the nod"? You remember the nod. 201 00:12:44,784 --> 00:12:47,419 Oh, right. The nod. 202 00:12:51,290 --> 00:12:53,658 Do you guys know how stupid you look? 203 00:12:57,663 --> 00:12:59,664 I can't believe beth's coming here. 204 00:12:59,665 --> 00:13:01,566 What if I don't have anything to say to her? 205 00:13:01,567 --> 00:13:05,904 Sit there and talk about yourself the whole time. Women love that. 206 00:13:05,905 --> 00:13:09,007 I'm surprised you didn't tell him to burp for beth. 207 00:13:09,008 --> 00:13:12,010 You gotta save something for the second date. 208 00:13:12,011 --> 00:13:14,813 (chuckles) 209 00:13:14,814 --> 00:13:17,282 What's cookin'? It's gumbo. 210 00:13:17,283 --> 00:13:19,785 Ohh... Al's recipe. 211 00:13:19,786 --> 00:13:21,986 But, of course, I added a few things of my own. 212 00:13:21,987 --> 00:13:24,456 I thought al was really good on that show today. 213 00:13:24,457 --> 00:13:27,759 What did you think of me? 214 00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:30,796 Well, for a guy who doesn't know anything about cooking, 215 00:13:30,797 --> 00:13:32,831 I thought you came across 216 00:13:32,832 --> 00:13:35,333 As a guy who doesn't know anything about cooking. 217 00:13:35,334 --> 00:13:37,903 That's why I'm not doing it anymore. Makes sense. 218 00:13:37,904 --> 00:13:41,440 Al thinks it's 'cause I can't stand not being the center of attention. 219 00:13:41,441 --> 00:13:44,075 That makes more sense. 220 00:13:44,076 --> 00:13:47,378 I don't always have to be the center of attention. 221 00:13:47,379 --> 00:13:50,715 Our wedding - I let you walk down the aisle by yourself. 222 00:13:50,716 --> 00:13:54,118 While you were making shadow puppets on the pulpit! 223 00:13:55,688 --> 00:13:58,623 Can I have some salt, please? 224 00:13:59,892 --> 00:14:01,893 This is your problem, tim. 225 00:14:01,894 --> 00:14:05,363 You cannot be in front of a group of people without being the center of attention. 226 00:14:05,364 --> 00:14:08,700 That's what you did on al's show today. I need pepper - cayenne. 227 00:14:08,701 --> 00:14:11,169 I just can't help it. 228 00:14:11,170 --> 00:14:14,473 You know how hard it is for me to stand in front of people and not make 'em laugh? 229 00:14:14,474 --> 00:14:18,176 You did a pretty darn good job of that today. 230 00:14:18,177 --> 00:14:19,911 "okra-homa"? 231 00:14:19,912 --> 00:14:22,481 "arkan-slaw" was funny. 232 00:14:22,482 --> 00:14:24,549 Hand me that celery. 233 00:14:24,550 --> 00:14:27,318 I'm just not cut out to be somebody's assistant. 234 00:14:31,423 --> 00:14:35,426 You have been assisting me this whole time making the gumbo. 235 00:14:35,427 --> 00:14:37,596 Oh. I could do that. 236 00:14:37,597 --> 00:14:41,232 Look, all you gotta do is do your homework. 237 00:14:41,233 --> 00:14:44,603 Then when you go and help al tomorrow, you'll be in better shape. 238 00:14:44,604 --> 00:14:48,006 I will sit down, and I will tell you everything that I know about cooking. 239 00:14:48,007 --> 00:14:49,173 Ok. 240 00:14:55,715 --> 00:14:57,716 Maybe I'd better get a cookbook. 241 00:15:14,867 --> 00:15:16,868 This is very good lemonade. 242 00:15:16,869 --> 00:15:19,905 Thanks. My mom made it. 243 00:15:19,906 --> 00:15:23,207 You know, beth, randy's a really funny guy. 244 00:15:23,208 --> 00:15:26,077 Really? I like funny people. 245 00:15:26,078 --> 00:15:29,781 Yeah, randy, say something funny. 246 00:15:36,422 --> 00:15:37,522 Uh... 247 00:15:38,524 --> 00:15:40,425 Ok. 248 00:15:40,426 --> 00:15:42,226 I got a joke. 249 00:15:43,663 --> 00:15:46,965 What do you call bad lemonade? 250 00:15:46,966 --> 00:15:47,999 What? 251 00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:49,968 Lemon lemonade. 252 00:15:53,172 --> 00:15:56,708 (forced laughter) 253 00:15:56,709 --> 00:15:58,476 I don't get it. 254 00:15:58,477 --> 00:16:02,280 That's the last time I use one of dad's joke. 255 00:16:05,051 --> 00:16:08,386 Would anybody like a homemade sugar cookie? 256 00:16:08,387 --> 00:16:10,488 (beth) yeah. (brad) I would, please. 257 00:16:10,489 --> 00:16:12,523 Are you enjoying the lemonade? 258 00:16:12,524 --> 00:16:14,593 Yes, it's great, thank you. 259 00:16:14,594 --> 00:16:18,096 Beth, I think I met your parents at back-to-school night. 260 00:16:18,097 --> 00:16:20,164 Your mother is the, um... 261 00:16:20,165 --> 00:16:22,166 Aerobics instructor. 262 00:16:22,167 --> 00:16:26,004 Oh... Yeah. I remember her. 263 00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:30,642 These are really great sugar cookies. 264 00:16:30,643 --> 00:16:34,779 My mom doesn't keep sweets in our house. She says they make you fat. 265 00:16:44,590 --> 00:16:48,359 Well, if you guys need me... 266 00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:51,062 I'll be upstairs doing stomach crunches. 267 00:16:56,435 --> 00:17:00,138 Beth, another cooker snoogie? 268 00:17:00,139 --> 00:17:03,441 I-I mean, a booger cookie? 269 00:17:06,178 --> 00:17:08,847 Is it hot in here? 270 00:17:12,718 --> 00:17:14,385 I'll be right back. 271 00:17:21,193 --> 00:17:25,730 (sighs) oh, man. I am such a dork. 272 00:17:29,234 --> 00:17:32,704 Experiencing some adolescent angst, preteen taylor? 273 00:17:34,406 --> 00:17:37,175 Oh... Sorry, wilson. 274 00:17:37,176 --> 00:17:38,476 Mm-hmm. 275 00:17:38,477 --> 00:17:41,813 I just made a jerk of myself in front of a girl. 276 00:17:41,814 --> 00:17:46,217 Well, randy taylor, welcome to the tribe of men. 277 00:17:46,218 --> 00:17:48,820 I mean, I don't get it. 278 00:17:48,821 --> 00:17:52,256 I really like beth, but ever since she got here, 279 00:17:52,257 --> 00:17:54,625 I've been saying really dumb things. 280 00:17:54,626 --> 00:17:58,462 Randy, probably that's because you're sailing in unfamiliar waters. 281 00:17:58,463 --> 00:18:02,433 I'm sure the first time romeo met a girl, he probably said some dumb things, too. 282 00:18:02,434 --> 00:18:04,669 Hello? 283 00:18:04,670 --> 00:18:05,737 Right here. 284 00:18:05,738 --> 00:18:07,572 Oh. 285 00:18:07,573 --> 00:18:11,542 Did romeo ask juliet if she wanted a "booger cookie"? 286 00:18:13,045 --> 00:18:15,646 Mm... Mmm-mmm, mmm-mmm, mmm. 287 00:18:15,647 --> 00:18:18,783 Now, that is a gaffe and a half. Heh-heh. 288 00:18:18,784 --> 00:18:21,219 Yeah. 289 00:18:21,220 --> 00:18:26,224 I mean, maybe I'm not cut out for this romance stuff. 290 00:18:26,225 --> 00:18:28,626 (laughs) well, randy, 291 00:18:28,627 --> 00:18:31,629 When it comes to winning the affections of a young lady, 292 00:18:31,630 --> 00:18:34,966 You might heed the advice of thomas herrick. 293 00:18:34,967 --> 00:18:38,136 What'd he say, wilson? 294 00:18:38,137 --> 00:18:41,472 He said, "to get thine ends, lay bashfulness aside. 295 00:18:41,473 --> 00:18:46,177 He that fears to ask doth be denied." 296 00:18:46,178 --> 00:18:49,614 So what you're saying is, "no guts, no glory." 297 00:18:49,615 --> 00:18:52,183 Very good, young taylor. 298 00:18:52,184 --> 00:18:55,253 You know, there are those among us who wouldn't have picked it up that quickly. 299 00:18:57,790 --> 00:19:00,024 So I gotta keep trying, huh? 300 00:19:00,025 --> 00:19:02,127 You may not have to try too hard. 301 00:19:02,128 --> 00:19:04,562 I think the lady's equally smitten with you. 302 00:19:04,563 --> 00:19:06,697 What makes you say that? 303 00:19:06,698 --> 00:19:09,100 Because ever since you came out back, 304 00:19:09,101 --> 00:19:11,970 She's been staring at you. 305 00:19:13,773 --> 00:19:17,142 Oh. Thanks, wilson. (chuckles) 306 00:19:17,143 --> 00:19:21,712 Hey, what were the first words you said to a girl you had a crush on? 307 00:19:21,713 --> 00:19:24,715 I believe they were, "hidey-ho, good-lookin'." 308 00:19:28,988 --> 00:19:31,089 Thanks, wilson. 309 00:19:31,090 --> 00:19:34,659 As we all know, the french are the masters of the kitchen. 310 00:19:34,660 --> 00:19:38,163 Nothing says "bonjour" better than duck. 311 00:19:38,164 --> 00:19:43,234 Now, the first thing I'm going to be needing here is a large roasting pan. 312 00:19:43,235 --> 00:19:45,536 It's over here. Where did I...? 313 00:19:45,537 --> 00:19:49,274 Thank you. I didn't think you were joining me in the kitchen today. 314 00:19:49,275 --> 00:19:53,077 I'm your assistant. Where else would I be? 315 00:19:53,078 --> 00:19:55,479 Well, great. Thank you. 316 00:19:55,480 --> 00:19:58,349 Ok, well. Shall we begin by explaining 317 00:19:58,350 --> 00:20:00,484 How we're going to dress our duck? 318 00:20:00,485 --> 00:20:02,486 How do you dress a duck? 319 00:20:02,487 --> 00:20:04,588 If it's formal, coat and tie. 320 00:20:06,725 --> 00:20:09,460 Now, once I get finished stuffing the duck, 321 00:20:09,461 --> 00:20:11,662 I will be closing it up. 322 00:20:11,663 --> 00:20:15,200 And for that, I think you'll be using a poultry lacer. 323 00:20:15,201 --> 00:20:18,236 Actually, tim, I was thinking of using some "duck" tape. 324 00:20:24,776 --> 00:20:26,777 I don't think so, al. 325 00:20:32,885 --> 00:20:39,057 Tim, you wanna double check to see if I've preheated our oven to 350 degrees? 326 00:20:39,058 --> 00:20:42,626 Ok. I also read that you shouldn't overstuff your duck 'cause it gets in there... 327 00:20:42,627 --> 00:20:45,296 Tim, I think I know what I'm doing. 328 00:20:45,297 --> 00:20:47,932 I'm just saying... That's fine. 329 00:20:49,335 --> 00:20:51,736 350 on the dot. 330 00:20:51,737 --> 00:20:56,174 We've also moved our rack to the top level so that bird will come out nice and crispy. 331 00:20:56,175 --> 00:20:59,543 Voilà. Ok, we're all ready for the duck. 332 00:20:59,544 --> 00:21:02,313 Ok. 333 00:21:02,314 --> 00:21:06,017 Get it before the heat goes out. 334 00:21:06,018 --> 00:21:08,353 Yeah. I just... Just making sure that that is stuffed in there. 335 00:21:08,354 --> 00:21:10,355 You want me to give you a hand? 336 00:21:10,356 --> 00:21:12,357 I think I know what I'm doing, tim. 337 00:21:29,909 --> 00:21:33,011 What al's done here is actually develop a new recipe. 338 00:21:33,012 --> 00:21:37,115 You've heard of pheasant under glass. 339 00:21:37,116 --> 00:21:39,650 This would be quacker through the glass. 340 00:21:43,422 --> 00:21:46,324 Join us tomorrow for our salute... 341 00:21:46,325 --> 00:21:47,525 (cow moos) 342 00:21:47,526 --> 00:21:49,294 ...To beef. 343 00:21:50,562 --> 00:21:54,198 (♪ theme song) 344 00:21:54,199 --> 00:21:55,300 (turns off tv) 345 00:21:55,301 --> 00:21:58,202 Well, tim, I'm very impressed. 346 00:21:58,203 --> 00:22:00,371 See what a great second banana you were? 347 00:22:00,372 --> 00:22:03,474 It would have been a tragedy had that second banana split. 348 00:22:06,011 --> 00:22:08,313 It's 5:30. I wonder where randy is. 349 00:22:08,314 --> 00:22:11,515 He's probably with beth, getting more nods. 350 00:22:12,818 --> 00:22:15,386 Like father, like son, you know. 351 00:22:15,387 --> 00:22:17,455 What do you mean by that? 352 00:22:17,456 --> 00:22:19,790 If you recall, on our first date, you gave me the nod. 353 00:22:19,791 --> 00:22:22,793 Yeah, that was all you got. 354 00:22:22,794 --> 00:22:24,929 I'm home! 355 00:22:24,930 --> 00:22:26,998 Hey, killer. Hi, mom. Hi, dad. 356 00:22:28,267 --> 00:22:30,901 How'd it go? 357 00:22:30,902 --> 00:22:34,538 Well... We're past the nod stage. 358 00:22:34,539 --> 00:22:37,175 What? She gave me a kiss. 359 00:22:38,710 --> 00:22:41,412 What?! Mom. 360 00:22:41,413 --> 00:22:44,648 What would you have done if I'd kissed you on the first date? 361 00:22:44,649 --> 00:22:46,417 Would've woken up. 362 00:22:53,025 --> 00:22:55,093 Hi! Tim "the tool man" taylor. 363 00:22:55,094 --> 00:22:58,262 You all know my assistant al... Oh. 364 00:23:01,066 --> 00:23:03,401 We got that out of the way. 365 00:23:03,402 --> 00:23:05,970 Cut. Pick it up. 366 00:23:05,971 --> 00:23:07,972 I see what it is. 367 00:23:07,973 --> 00:23:11,675 You're just jealous because now I'm the star. 368 00:23:11,676 --> 00:23:13,978 Oh, back the bread basket up, buddy. 369 00:23:13,979 --> 00:23:17,348 You're just substitute host for a cable cooking show.