1 00:00:07,694 --> 00:00:10,395 Oh, you guys are doing so great. 2 00:00:10,396 --> 00:00:13,032 This is gonna raise a lot of money for the library. 3 00:00:13,033 --> 00:00:16,636 I hate to break this to you, mom, but you forgot to put the date on the invitations. 4 00:00:16,637 --> 00:00:19,972 It's not supposed to have a date. It's a "no dinner" dinner. 5 00:00:19,973 --> 00:00:21,340 What's that? 6 00:00:21,341 --> 00:00:24,343 It's a dinner party with no dinner and no party. 7 00:00:24,344 --> 00:00:28,881 Sounds great, mom. Put me down for five "no tickets." 8 00:00:28,882 --> 00:00:30,883 I know it sounds a little confusing, 9 00:00:30,884 --> 00:00:33,686 But this way, the library doesn't have to buy food or rent a hall. 10 00:00:33,687 --> 00:00:36,122 They get to keep all the money they raise. 11 00:00:36,123 --> 00:00:39,291 Then why do you send an invitation? Why don't you just ask for money? 12 00:00:39,292 --> 00:00:41,827 'cause it's fun. You know, people get into it. 13 00:00:41,828 --> 00:00:46,732 Cool. Tonight, I think I'll throw myself a "no homework" homework party. 14 00:00:46,733 --> 00:00:49,535 Yeah, right. 15 00:00:49,536 --> 00:00:51,270 Morning, everybody. Morning. 16 00:00:51,271 --> 00:00:53,939 Big day today. We're doing a huge tool time. 17 00:00:53,940 --> 00:00:55,307 What's it about, dad? 18 00:00:55,308 --> 00:00:57,877 We're building a man's kitchen. 19 00:00:57,878 --> 00:01:02,581 What's that, a kitchen where you stand over the sink to eat? 20 00:01:02,582 --> 00:01:04,416 No, a man's kitchen. 21 00:01:04,417 --> 00:01:07,319 You can cook a cow, braise a buffalo, grill a grizzly. 22 00:01:07,320 --> 00:01:09,588 (grunts) 23 00:01:09,589 --> 00:01:10,956 You can eat grizzly? 24 00:01:10,957 --> 00:01:12,725 Yeah, sure. 25 00:01:12,726 --> 00:01:14,060 Tastes like chicken. 26 00:01:16,830 --> 00:01:20,099 And with the leftovers, you can make a peanut butter and grizzly sandwich. 27 00:01:21,735 --> 00:01:23,903 (grizzly-like roar) 28 00:02:33,740 --> 00:02:36,075 What do you think? Could we put the kids in the middle? 29 00:02:40,747 --> 00:02:42,214 The binford 6100 30 00:02:42,215 --> 00:02:45,151 Is available at fine hardware stores everywhere. 31 00:02:45,152 --> 00:02:47,153 Remember, if your drill says "binford," 32 00:02:47,154 --> 00:02:48,387 Get outta the house! 33 00:02:48,388 --> 00:02:50,689 Tools aren't supposed to talk to you! 34 00:02:59,299 --> 00:03:01,333 Now the moment we've all been waiting for - 35 00:03:01,334 --> 00:03:04,103 The introduction of the man's kitchen. A guy's galley. 36 00:03:04,104 --> 00:03:06,672 I am man, hear me roast. 37 00:03:06,673 --> 00:03:08,507 (grunts) 38 00:03:08,508 --> 00:03:11,010 Well, tim, what do you say we start her up? That's right. 39 00:03:11,011 --> 00:03:13,245 The only kitchen I know that has an ignition system. 40 00:03:15,381 --> 00:03:17,917 (motor turns over) 41 00:03:20,553 --> 00:03:22,354 Come on, come on. 42 00:03:22,355 --> 00:03:24,890 Maybe we should get jumper cables, hook it up to another kitchen. 43 00:03:29,562 --> 00:03:32,231 I think I got it. (motor starts) 44 00:03:32,232 --> 00:03:34,566 Listen to that baby purr. 45 00:03:34,567 --> 00:03:38,337 Let's step inside, take a tour of the man's kitchen. 46 00:03:45,545 --> 00:03:50,482 (grunts) 47 00:03:50,483 --> 00:03:54,186 Well, we start first here at men's fine china. 48 00:03:54,187 --> 00:03:56,889 That's right. 49 00:03:56,890 --> 00:03:59,691 16-ply steel-belted paper plates. 50 00:03:59,692 --> 00:04:01,693 These plates are available 51 00:04:01,694 --> 00:04:05,164 In standard black and white walls. 52 00:04:05,165 --> 00:04:08,367 Now we move on to the most important part of the meal - vegetables. 53 00:04:12,772 --> 00:04:15,640 For most men, there's only two kinds of vegetables - 54 00:04:15,641 --> 00:04:18,978 Your beans and your potatoes. 55 00:04:18,979 --> 00:04:22,214 I had my beans yesterday. I know. 56 00:04:25,051 --> 00:04:27,219 Now, potatoes... Mmm, hard to cook, 57 00:04:27,220 --> 00:04:29,755 'cause when a guy wants to eat, a guy wants to eat. 58 00:04:29,756 --> 00:04:31,757 He can't wait for endless seconds on a microwave. 59 00:04:31,758 --> 00:04:34,226 That's why we've got the binford macrowave. 60 00:04:37,864 --> 00:04:39,631 Three convenient power settings - 61 00:04:39,632 --> 00:04:43,269 "high,""really high" and "split your own atoms." 62 00:04:45,405 --> 00:04:48,573 Now, tim, won't this put out a little too much radiation? 63 00:04:48,574 --> 00:04:50,809 Mm, that's a good safety tip, al. 64 00:04:50,810 --> 00:04:53,045 That's why we're equipped with these. 65 00:04:56,783 --> 00:04:58,384 Lead vests. 66 00:05:00,620 --> 00:05:05,824 Also useful in case superman wants to take a peek at your underwear. 67 00:05:05,825 --> 00:05:09,228 No problem there. I'm not wearing any. 68 00:05:18,471 --> 00:05:21,407 Don't wanna overcook a potato, so only in there a couple of seconds. 69 00:05:21,408 --> 00:05:23,742 Now don't look directly at the potato. 70 00:05:30,183 --> 00:05:31,783 (ding) 71 00:05:42,329 --> 00:05:46,098 Once they stop glowing, they're probably ready to eat. 72 00:05:46,099 --> 00:05:47,799 Grab the potatoes. All right. 73 00:05:51,671 --> 00:05:53,505 Hot potato! Hot potato! 74 00:05:56,709 --> 00:05:59,111 Here we have our beverage center. 75 00:05:59,112 --> 00:06:02,514 We got beer, got root beer, pepto-bismol. 76 00:06:05,085 --> 00:06:07,152 But now we get to that main course. 77 00:06:07,153 --> 00:06:10,089 Ooh, yeah. The main course in every man's meal is what? 78 00:06:10,090 --> 00:06:11,423 That would be meat. 79 00:06:11,424 --> 00:06:12,458 The redder... 80 00:06:12,459 --> 00:06:14,493 (both) the better. 81 00:06:14,494 --> 00:06:17,329 The man's refrigerator - stainless-steel doors, big cubic inches. 82 00:06:17,330 --> 00:06:20,299 What does every man dream about having in a refrigerator? 83 00:06:20,300 --> 00:06:22,901 That's simple, tim. A butcher. 84 00:06:26,873 --> 00:06:28,540 Benny, how are you doing? 85 00:06:28,541 --> 00:06:31,843 Hey, tim. Hi, al. What will it be today? 86 00:06:31,844 --> 00:06:35,547 I don't know. I got a hankering for a thick porterhouse. 87 00:06:35,548 --> 00:06:37,016 Good choice. 88 00:06:40,853 --> 00:06:44,089 I'll take the petite filet mignon. 89 00:06:44,090 --> 00:06:45,690 Takes all kinds. 90 00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:51,196 Here you go. Good-looking meat. Thanks a lot. Stay cool. 91 00:06:53,266 --> 00:06:55,200 All right, we flip them on our grill. 92 00:06:58,304 --> 00:07:01,073 Now, you don't wanna overcook 'em. You just want 'em flame-kissed. 93 00:07:09,916 --> 00:07:13,285 Ding! They're done. All right. 94 00:07:13,286 --> 00:07:17,122 (moos) still moving, al. 95 00:07:21,827 --> 00:07:24,430 Now we're ready to put on our seasoning. 96 00:07:24,431 --> 00:07:27,899 Right. We got hot sauce, steak sauce, barbecue sauce. 97 00:07:27,900 --> 00:07:29,701 What's your pick? 98 00:07:29,702 --> 00:07:31,736 Not one of those. I'd like just a pinch of salt. 99 00:07:31,737 --> 00:07:33,605 You got it, friend. 100 00:07:39,679 --> 00:07:41,880 (coughing 101 00:07:41,881 --> 00:07:44,516 Well, I seem to have messed up your dinner. Let's get rid of those plates. 102 00:07:48,154 --> 00:07:50,589 Right down to the recycling center. 103 00:07:50,590 --> 00:07:53,959 Now, we've cleaned the dishes. What about all the mess in the kitchen? 104 00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:56,761 The grease, the appliances, the floor, the walls? What do we do now? 105 00:07:56,762 --> 00:07:59,264 Tim, the best thing about the binford men's kitchen 106 00:07:59,265 --> 00:08:02,401 Is it's entirely self-cleaning. 107 00:08:02,402 --> 00:08:03,835 It is. That's right. 108 00:08:03,836 --> 00:08:07,038 We got the binford kitchen-washing system here. 109 00:08:07,039 --> 00:08:10,342 You step out of the kitchen, shut your waterproof doors... 110 00:08:10,343 --> 00:08:15,180 (♪ fanfare) 111 00:08:15,181 --> 00:08:18,850 Klaus, can we cut the...? What is this, a renaissance fair? 112 00:08:21,121 --> 00:08:23,788 You add your detergent pellets early in the week, 113 00:08:23,789 --> 00:08:27,259 Then you put it on heavy wash, spin dry, energy saver. 114 00:08:27,260 --> 00:08:28,627 Start your wash. 115 00:08:31,431 --> 00:08:33,632 In a half-hour, you got a clean kitchen. 116 00:08:33,633 --> 00:08:36,468 Floors, walls, the whole thing's... 117 00:08:50,150 --> 00:08:53,118 Yeah, that's a fine charity. I'm sure that they have a lovely dinner, 118 00:08:53,119 --> 00:08:57,889 But our dinner's a little different. There is no dinner. 119 00:08:57,890 --> 00:09:00,058 No, this is not a crank call. 120 00:09:00,059 --> 00:09:02,694 Uh, we're having a "no dinner" dinner. 121 00:09:02,695 --> 00:09:04,696 It means you don't have to get dressed up 122 00:09:04,697 --> 00:09:06,731 And sit in a big impersonal ballroom 123 00:09:06,732 --> 00:09:10,502 And make small talk with people you don't know. 124 00:09:10,503 --> 00:09:12,171 You like that. 125 00:09:12,172 --> 00:09:16,775 Well, um, maybe you could just send a contribution anyway. 126 00:09:16,776 --> 00:09:21,112 You know, 'cause the library really needs... Hello? 127 00:09:21,113 --> 00:09:24,550 I can't believe she hung up on me. Hi. 128 00:09:24,551 --> 00:09:26,718 Hi. What's the matter? 129 00:09:26,719 --> 00:09:30,722 This "no dinner" dinner thing is not as easy as I thought. Nobody understands it. 130 00:09:30,723 --> 00:09:33,559 I can't think about it right now. My mind's racing. 131 00:09:33,560 --> 00:09:36,662 The man's kitchen went over bigger than I ever expected. 132 00:09:36,663 --> 00:09:38,997 You know what the end of next week is? No, what? 133 00:09:38,998 --> 00:09:41,200 It's the fifth anniversary of tool time. 134 00:09:41,201 --> 00:09:43,202 I can't believe you don't remember this. 135 00:09:43,203 --> 00:09:46,538 Tim, when is our anniversary? 136 00:09:52,345 --> 00:09:54,479 February. 137 00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:56,114 February what? 138 00:09:57,450 --> 00:09:58,617 Middle. 139 00:09:59,785 --> 00:10:02,588 You are so pathetic. 140 00:10:02,589 --> 00:10:06,692 Listen to me. This anniversary show is huge. It's gotta be bigger than a kitchen show. 141 00:10:06,693 --> 00:10:09,194 I gotta think of something that will knock the audience's socks off. 142 00:10:09,195 --> 00:10:12,897 Why don't you show highlights from some of your best shows? 143 00:10:12,898 --> 00:10:16,968 As good as those would be, you can't just show clips for an anniversary show. 144 00:10:16,969 --> 00:10:19,003 You've gotta think big. Help me. 145 00:10:19,004 --> 00:10:21,306 Ok, how about this? All right. 146 00:10:21,307 --> 00:10:23,808 You take the whole crew to arizona. I'm with you. 147 00:10:23,809 --> 00:10:25,877 Drive to the grand canyon. Yeah. 148 00:10:25,878 --> 00:10:29,814 Fill the whole thing in with putty. 149 00:10:33,786 --> 00:10:37,256 That's ridiculous. Putty. 150 00:10:42,829 --> 00:10:45,096 Al. Al! 151 00:10:45,097 --> 00:10:48,066 I've got a great idea for our tool time anniversary show. 152 00:10:48,067 --> 00:10:50,101 I've been thinking about that, too. 153 00:10:50,102 --> 00:10:54,005 It should be something simple, tasteful and totally tool-oriented. 154 00:10:54,006 --> 00:10:58,543 How about taking the whole crew down to indy speedway? 155 00:10:58,544 --> 00:11:00,679 I like it. Yeah! 156 00:11:00,680 --> 00:11:03,848 There's more. I'll challenge michael and mario andretti to race with myself. 157 00:11:03,849 --> 00:11:05,584 Great! What about me? 158 00:11:05,585 --> 00:11:07,986 You can serve sandwiches and wash the cars and stuff. 159 00:11:09,656 --> 00:11:11,856 President davidson. Hi, guys. 160 00:11:11,857 --> 00:11:13,124 Nice to see you. 161 00:11:13,125 --> 00:11:16,194 Nice to see you, al. 162 00:11:16,195 --> 00:11:18,897 Tim, tim, tim. 163 00:11:18,898 --> 00:11:21,600 What, what, what? 164 00:11:21,601 --> 00:11:23,968 I'm sitting in binford headquarters the other day, 165 00:11:23,969 --> 00:11:27,706 I turn on the show that we sponsor, and what do I see? 166 00:11:27,707 --> 00:11:30,809 The glare of your head reflecting off the screen? 167 00:11:30,810 --> 00:11:34,379 No, tim. I see a kitchen 168 00:11:34,380 --> 00:11:36,915 That has sucked up your budget for the next six months, 169 00:11:36,916 --> 00:11:42,821 Although I do appreciate your using my brother-in-law as the butcher. 170 00:11:42,822 --> 00:11:45,624 These figures are off. Did you see the ratings? They went through the roof. 171 00:11:45,625 --> 00:11:48,293 It doesn't justify what you spent. We talked about this. 172 00:11:48,294 --> 00:11:50,429 You promised you were gonna start cutting back. 173 00:11:50,430 --> 00:11:53,031 I did cut back. You know those... Those lead vests? 174 00:11:53,032 --> 00:11:56,000 Al's was only lead-plated. 175 00:12:00,005 --> 00:12:02,341 Excuse me. I have to see a doctor now. 176 00:12:02,342 --> 00:12:05,043 It was a joke. A joke, a joke, a joke. 177 00:12:05,044 --> 00:12:06,778 Well, I'm not joking, tim. 178 00:12:06,779 --> 00:12:09,247 From now on, you don't spend a cent unless I ok it. 179 00:12:09,248 --> 00:12:11,082 All right. We'll start after the anniversary show. 180 00:12:11,083 --> 00:12:13,218 Wait. What have you got planned for that? 181 00:12:13,219 --> 00:12:14,686 Well, we're going to indianapolis. 182 00:12:14,687 --> 00:12:16,788 Aah... 183 00:12:16,789 --> 00:12:17,956 Really? 184 00:12:19,925 --> 00:12:23,061 Well, two words come to mind. Uh-uh. 185 00:12:24,764 --> 00:12:28,700 No, no. Look, let me just-just try to explain this to you again. 186 00:12:28,701 --> 00:12:31,169 This is a "no dinner" dinner. 187 00:12:32,805 --> 00:12:38,209 It doesn't matter what you wear. There is no place to wear it to. 188 00:12:38,210 --> 00:12:42,080 No, no, there's no point in ordering a vegetarian plate. There's no food. No food. 189 00:12:42,081 --> 00:12:45,049 Look, just send me a check, ok? Goodbye. 190 00:12:51,657 --> 00:12:54,993 Jill. Jill. Guess what happened when davidson saw... 191 00:12:54,994 --> 00:12:57,161 You will not believe what I'm going through with this fund-raiser. 192 00:12:57,162 --> 00:12:59,765 You think it's hard to sell tickets to a dinner? 193 00:12:59,766 --> 00:13:02,367 Try selling tickets to a "no dinner" dinner. 194 00:13:02,368 --> 00:13:06,605 He cut the budget on the show. I am sick and tired of asking people for money. 195 00:13:06,606 --> 00:13:08,440 It is so degrading. 196 00:13:08,441 --> 00:13:12,577 Talk about degrading. He... People treat me like a bill collector! 197 00:13:12,578 --> 00:13:15,747 You know, they have their numbers changed just to avoid talking to me. 198 00:13:15,748 --> 00:13:18,149 They see me at the supermarket, there's this mad rush for the door. 199 00:13:18,150 --> 00:13:20,919 I wanted to have the andrettis on... 200 00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:22,954 You have no idea what it's like 201 00:13:22,955 --> 00:13:25,356 To be the cause of a multi-shopping cart collision. 202 00:13:25,357 --> 00:13:27,492 Unfortunately, I do know how that feels. 203 00:13:27,493 --> 00:13:29,528 I did this out of the goodness of my heart. 204 00:13:29,529 --> 00:13:34,399 If I could just... I am so tired of giving, giving, giving. 205 00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:36,401 When this is all over, I don't want anybody 206 00:13:36,402 --> 00:13:38,437 To ask anything of me ever again. 207 00:13:38,438 --> 00:13:41,973 Oh, I'm so sorry. What were you saying? How was your day? 208 00:13:47,880 --> 00:13:50,949 Oh, my, my, my, I know it must be spring 209 00:13:50,950 --> 00:13:54,920 When I hear the sweet sounds of a wire bristle on a rusty grill. 210 00:13:54,921 --> 00:13:56,922 That's it, wilson. What have you got there? 211 00:13:56,923 --> 00:14:00,091 Tim, I'm about to add some bacterial organisms to my milk. 212 00:14:00,092 --> 00:14:01,726 Really? 213 00:14:03,796 --> 00:14:06,264 I'm more of a chocolate syrup kind of guy. 214 00:14:06,265 --> 00:14:07,432 (chuckles) 215 00:14:07,433 --> 00:14:10,234 No, no, no, no, tim. I'm making yogurt. 216 00:14:10,235 --> 00:14:12,804 The bacteria sours the milk. 217 00:14:12,805 --> 00:14:16,575 You must have put some of that in my boss' milk. He's sour all the time. 218 00:14:16,576 --> 00:14:18,209 Tool time troubles, tim? 219 00:14:18,210 --> 00:14:20,311 Our fifth anniversary show is coming up. 220 00:14:20,312 --> 00:14:22,814 I wanna make a big deal, but davidson won't pay for it. 221 00:14:22,815 --> 00:14:25,216 I want to make a big, spectacular gift to my audience. 222 00:14:25,217 --> 00:14:28,152 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 223 00:14:28,153 --> 00:14:31,255 You know, tim, in ancient china, there was once an emperor, 224 00:14:31,256 --> 00:14:33,492 And every year on his birthday, 225 00:14:33,493 --> 00:14:36,327 Everybody in the land would bring him a gift. 226 00:14:36,328 --> 00:14:39,865 And every year, the gifts became more and more elaborate. 227 00:14:39,866 --> 00:14:41,800 I get your point. 228 00:14:41,801 --> 00:14:45,203 That's very good, 'cause I haven't made one yet. 229 00:14:45,204 --> 00:14:47,973 One year, a small boy appeared before the emperor 230 00:14:47,974 --> 00:14:50,775 And told him that he had no riches to give. 231 00:14:50,776 --> 00:14:53,912 The only gift that he had was a song. 232 00:14:53,913 --> 00:14:56,381 You know what the emperor did? 233 00:14:56,382 --> 00:15:00,018 Got him booked on dick woo's chinese bandstand. 234 00:15:01,988 --> 00:15:03,989 You're not making this easy, tim. 235 00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:06,591 Anyway, when the emperor heard this song, 236 00:15:06,592 --> 00:15:09,928 He was so moved that he proclaimed it the greatest gift of all, 237 00:15:09,929 --> 00:15:13,999 Because it was a gift that came from the heart. 238 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:15,934 Well, I must get back to the yogurt. 239 00:15:15,935 --> 00:15:19,838 Does everybody know what time it is? (all) tool time! 240 00:15:19,839 --> 00:15:22,807 That's right. Here he is celebrating his fifth fabulous year - 241 00:15:22,808 --> 00:15:25,877 Tim "the tool man" taylor! 242 00:15:29,248 --> 00:15:33,484 Thank you. Thank you, heidi. Thank you, everybody. 243 00:15:33,485 --> 00:15:37,088 Thanks very much. That's kind of you. I am tim "the tool man" taylor, 244 00:15:37,089 --> 00:15:40,358 And you know my assistant - al "stand by your tool man" borland. 245 00:15:40,359 --> 00:15:44,529 It's great to be here on this auspicious occasion. Happy anniversary, tim. 246 00:15:44,530 --> 00:15:47,599 You, too, and happy anniversary to the audience out there. 247 00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:50,401 If you look under your seats, there's a personalized gift from "the tool man." 248 00:15:51,704 --> 00:15:54,439 Made you look. 249 00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:57,375 We've had a lot of fun these last five years. 250 00:15:57,376 --> 00:16:01,279 A lot of it's to do with my family. They're here today. Let's meet 'em, can we? 251 00:16:01,280 --> 00:16:05,550 My lovely, beautiful and very attractive wife jill. 252 00:16:05,551 --> 00:16:08,720 Brad, mark and randy - my little boys. 253 00:16:08,721 --> 00:16:11,823 Oh, and my neighbor's here up behind them. Wilson, say hi. 254 00:16:11,824 --> 00:16:15,393 Festum diem anniversarium tibi, tim. 255 00:16:15,394 --> 00:16:16,828 What? 256 00:16:16,829 --> 00:16:19,363 That means "happy anniversary to you" in latin. 257 00:16:19,364 --> 00:16:22,033 The ancient romans... 258 00:16:22,034 --> 00:16:25,070 Not now, wilson, not now. We've got plenty of show to do here, buddy. 259 00:16:25,071 --> 00:16:27,072 There's a lot of ways we could celebrate our fifth anniversary. 260 00:16:27,073 --> 00:16:29,841 Could've gone to indy and had some race drivers on. 261 00:16:29,842 --> 00:16:33,111 But al and I decided to do something more from the heart, 262 00:16:33,112 --> 00:16:36,881 Like the young chinese boy that smelled his own yogurt. 263 00:16:39,418 --> 00:16:41,820 We started the show with a very small budget. 264 00:16:41,821 --> 00:16:44,422 It was just two guys with a passion for tools. 265 00:16:44,423 --> 00:16:47,358 And one guy who knew how to use them. Yeah. 266 00:16:51,030 --> 00:16:53,397 So I went to binford's headquarters, in the archives, 267 00:16:53,398 --> 00:16:57,502 And got our first episode, and I put together a little highlight tape. 268 00:16:57,503 --> 00:17:00,038 Ladies and gentlemen, 269 00:17:00,039 --> 00:17:03,174 The birth of the tool show. 270 00:17:09,281 --> 00:17:12,050 Does everybody know what time it is? 271 00:17:18,724 --> 00:17:20,258 (all, unenthused) tool time. 272 00:17:20,259 --> 00:17:23,128 That's correct. 273 00:17:23,129 --> 00:17:28,633 Binford tools is happy to present your host tom taylor. 274 00:17:28,634 --> 00:17:30,434 (plays theme) 275 00:17:36,108 --> 00:17:38,209 Uh, thank you, mrs. Binford. It's tim taylor. 276 00:17:38,210 --> 00:17:39,911 All right. 277 00:17:39,912 --> 00:17:42,947 Well, welcome, audience, 278 00:17:42,948 --> 00:17:46,350 To the premiere episode of tool time. 279 00:17:46,351 --> 00:17:49,087 It's a show that celebrates men and their tools. 280 00:17:49,088 --> 00:17:51,255 Before we get to our project today, 281 00:17:51,256 --> 00:17:54,826 I'd like to bring out an assistant that we hired for me. 282 00:17:54,827 --> 00:17:58,563 We auditioned contractors all through the detroit area, a lot of professional men, 283 00:17:58,564 --> 00:18:03,001 And this is the guy that would work for the money we offered. 284 00:18:04,269 --> 00:18:06,604 So, let's bring him out. 285 00:18:06,605 --> 00:18:09,440 A contractor, a master plumber and a pisces - albert borland. 286 00:18:09,441 --> 00:18:10,875 Come on out, albert. 287 00:18:19,952 --> 00:18:21,186 Good to have you here. 288 00:18:24,156 --> 00:18:25,190 Hi. 289 00:18:29,428 --> 00:18:31,863 Ok. It's nice to have you here. 290 00:18:31,864 --> 00:18:35,200 I'm al borland, and I'm pleased to make your acquaintance. 291 00:18:35,201 --> 00:18:36,868 I'm also very honored 292 00:18:36,869 --> 00:18:39,204 To be part of your tool education. 293 00:18:39,205 --> 00:18:43,208 It's over here, though. You would look into this camera. Um... 294 00:18:43,209 --> 00:18:46,177 My wife suggested I cut the beard for the look, but I think it fits... 295 00:18:46,178 --> 00:18:49,580 Oh, no, no. I like a man in a beard. 296 00:18:49,581 --> 00:18:51,082 Whoa, big fella. 297 00:18:51,083 --> 00:18:53,484 Speaking of big fella, 298 00:18:53,485 --> 00:18:57,088 Who's that big guy you were talking with backstage? 299 00:18:57,089 --> 00:18:59,224 That was my mother. 300 00:18:59,225 --> 00:19:01,226 Ok. Before we get started, 301 00:19:01,227 --> 00:19:04,129 The first thing we're gonna learn today is how to drive a stake. 302 00:19:13,272 --> 00:19:16,340 I don't understand. Aren't we talking about wooden stakes? 303 00:19:16,341 --> 00:19:18,609 Albert... Can I call you al? 304 00:19:18,610 --> 00:19:20,912 Ok. 305 00:19:20,913 --> 00:19:24,182 This is supposed to be a joke. Guy driving a steak. 306 00:19:28,821 --> 00:19:30,454 Ah... 307 00:19:33,558 --> 00:19:35,827 We've leveled our dirt. We got some form up. 308 00:19:35,828 --> 00:19:38,129 Al, you guide us the rest of the way. 309 00:19:38,130 --> 00:19:39,664 We've done about everything 310 00:19:39,665 --> 00:19:41,299 Until we pour the concrete, 311 00:19:41,300 --> 00:19:44,068 So all we need to do now is set the stakes, close in the form. 312 00:19:44,069 --> 00:19:44,869 Exactly! 313 00:19:44,870 --> 00:19:46,037 We need a sledgehammer for that. 314 00:19:46,038 --> 00:19:47,605 Mrs. Binford... 315 00:19:49,809 --> 00:19:51,843 There you go, tom. 316 00:19:51,844 --> 00:19:54,312 Thank you, mrs. Been-in-the-sauce. 317 00:19:59,185 --> 00:20:02,053 Al, will you hold the stake while I drive her in? 318 00:20:02,054 --> 00:20:07,125 I'd be pleased to, tim. With an expert like tim, I know I'm in good hands. 319 00:20:09,228 --> 00:20:11,529 I think we've had about enough of that. 320 00:20:13,465 --> 00:20:16,301 Anyway, I hope you enjoyed our first episode. 321 00:20:16,302 --> 00:20:18,402 Not so fast. 322 00:20:18,403 --> 00:20:21,072 Jill and I have a surprise for you. What? 323 00:20:21,073 --> 00:20:24,642 We knew you were disappointed when we couldn't do the show live from indy. 324 00:20:24,643 --> 00:20:28,213 So we brought a little bit of indy to you. What'd you do? 325 00:20:28,214 --> 00:20:31,482 Ladies and gentlemen, michael andretti and johnny rutherford. 326 00:20:32,885 --> 00:20:34,719 Hey, hey! 327 00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:37,021 Hey. 328 00:20:39,791 --> 00:20:41,792 Great stuff. 329 00:20:44,930 --> 00:20:47,398 Ah... 330 00:20:47,399 --> 00:20:48,399 Put 'er there. 331 00:20:51,703 --> 00:20:54,538 Al, honey, this is... Oh, boy. 332 00:20:54,539 --> 00:20:56,574 Well, um, our guests. 333 00:20:56,575 --> 00:21:00,178 Michael andretti, you've come from formula one to race indy cars. 334 00:21:00,179 --> 00:21:02,213 With the chip ganassi team, right? 335 00:21:02,214 --> 00:21:07,218 And johnny rutherford - three-time indy winner. This is just too great. 336 00:21:07,219 --> 00:21:09,320 Your dad didn't show up - mario. Where's he? 337 00:21:09,321 --> 00:21:13,624 Dad couldn't come. He's racing his racecar, but I brought somebody just as old. 338 00:21:17,129 --> 00:21:20,564 I believe I beat you here from the airport, kid. 339 00:21:20,565 --> 00:21:24,168 That's 'cause I used tim's directions. 340 00:21:24,169 --> 00:21:26,804 Guys, guys. We're not on a dirt track here. 341 00:21:26,805 --> 00:21:30,141 Come on, let's enjoy ourselves. Who talked you into doing this? 342 00:21:30,142 --> 00:21:33,677 Well, your wife can be a pretty persuasive woman. 343 00:21:33,678 --> 00:21:37,648 Yeah. She even talked us into a "no dinner" dinner. 344 00:21:40,052 --> 00:21:42,921 Hope there's chicken. 345 00:21:42,922 --> 00:21:46,357 We'll talk with the drivers after this message from binford. 346 00:22:01,273 --> 00:22:03,107 That's amazing. 347 00:22:03,108 --> 00:22:05,944 I had no idea you could do that in an indy car. That's unbelievable. 348 00:22:05,945 --> 00:22:09,814 I gotta thank michael andretti and johnny rutherford for being on the show. 349 00:22:09,815 --> 00:22:13,184 How about a round of applause for the boys here? 350 00:22:15,387 --> 00:22:16,787 Yeah. 351 00:22:16,788 --> 00:22:20,091 Along with our guests, al and I wanna thank the people 352 00:22:20,092 --> 00:22:22,093 Really responsible for tool time. 353 00:22:22,094 --> 00:22:26,730 I wanna get everybody out here. All the grips, the prop people, costumes, lights, everybody. 354 00:22:26,731 --> 00:22:29,434 Come on, everybody out here. Everybody! 355 00:22:29,435 --> 00:22:31,936 Everybody here on tool time. 356 00:22:31,937 --> 00:22:33,904 Wait a minute. 357 00:22:33,905 --> 00:22:34,973 Hey, cameramen, too. 358 00:22:34,974 --> 00:22:35,873 You guys gotta get out here. 359 00:22:35,874 --> 00:22:37,908 Come on, everybody. Come on. 360 00:22:37,909 --> 00:22:39,910 Uh-oh. Bad idea. 361 00:22:42,114 --> 00:22:43,747 (tim) come on out, albert. 362 00:22:50,356 --> 00:22:51,956 Golly, gosh, darn it, 363 00:22:51,957 --> 00:22:53,958 We've had some fun, haven't we, over the years? 364 00:22:53,959 --> 00:22:55,994 And a lot of it's to do with my family. 365 00:22:55,995 --> 00:22:58,429 I wanna spin over here and introduce my family here. 366 00:22:58,430 --> 00:23:00,999 My beautiful, talented, brilliant wife pat.