1
00:00:07,694 --> 00:00:10,395
Oh, you guys
are doing so great.
2
00:00:10,396 --> 00:00:13,032
This is gonna raise
a lot of money for the library.
3
00:00:13,033 --> 00:00:16,636
I hate to break this to you,
mom, but you forgot to put
the date on the invitations.
4
00:00:16,637 --> 00:00:19,972
It's not
supposed to have a date.
It's a "no dinner" dinner.
5
00:00:19,973 --> 00:00:21,340
What's that?
6
00:00:21,341 --> 00:00:24,343
It's a dinner party
with no dinner and no party.
7
00:00:24,344 --> 00:00:28,881
Sounds great, mom. Put me down
for five "no tickets."
8
00:00:28,882 --> 00:00:30,883
I know it sounds
a little confusing,
9
00:00:30,884 --> 00:00:33,686
But this way,
the library doesn't have to
buy food or rent a hall.
10
00:00:33,687 --> 00:00:36,122
They get to keep
all the money they raise.
11
00:00:36,123 --> 00:00:39,291
Then why do you send
an invitation? Why don't
you just ask for money?
12
00:00:39,292 --> 00:00:41,827
'cause it's fun. You know,
people get into it.
13
00:00:41,828 --> 00:00:46,732
Cool. Tonight,
I think I'll throw myself
a "no homework" homework party.
14
00:00:46,733 --> 00:00:49,535
Yeah, right.
15
00:00:49,536 --> 00:00:51,270
Morning, everybody.
Morning.
16
00:00:51,271 --> 00:00:53,939
Big day today.
We're doing a huge tool time.
17
00:00:53,940 --> 00:00:55,307
What's it about,
dad?
18
00:00:55,308 --> 00:00:57,877
We're building
a man's kitchen.
19
00:00:57,878 --> 00:01:02,581
What's that, a kitchen where you
stand over the sink to eat?
20
00:01:02,582 --> 00:01:04,416
No, a man's kitchen.
21
00:01:04,417 --> 00:01:07,319
You can cook a cow,
braise a buffalo,
grill a grizzly.
22
00:01:07,320 --> 00:01:09,588
(grunts)
23
00:01:09,589 --> 00:01:10,956
You can eat grizzly?
24
00:01:10,957 --> 00:01:12,725
Yeah, sure.
25
00:01:12,726 --> 00:01:14,060
Tastes like chicken.
26
00:01:16,830 --> 00:01:20,099
And with the leftovers,
you can make a peanut butter
and grizzly sandwich.
27
00:01:21,735 --> 00:01:23,903
(grizzly-like roar)
28
00:02:33,740 --> 00:02:36,075
What do you think? Could we
put the kids in the middle?
29
00:02:40,747 --> 00:02:42,214
The binford 6100
30
00:02:42,215 --> 00:02:45,151
Is available at
fine hardware stores
everywhere.
31
00:02:45,152 --> 00:02:47,153
Remember, if your drill
says "binford,"
32
00:02:47,154 --> 00:02:48,387
Get outta the house!
33
00:02:48,388 --> 00:02:50,689
Tools aren't supposed
to talk to you!
34
00:02:59,299 --> 00:03:01,333
Now the moment
we've all been waiting for -
35
00:03:01,334 --> 00:03:04,103
The introduction of
the man's kitchen.
A guy's galley.
36
00:03:04,104 --> 00:03:06,672
I am man, hear me roast.
37
00:03:06,673 --> 00:03:08,507
(grunts)
38
00:03:08,508 --> 00:03:11,010
Well, tim, what do you say
we start her up?
That's right.
39
00:03:11,011 --> 00:03:13,245
The only kitchen I know
that has an ignition system.
40
00:03:15,381 --> 00:03:17,917
(motor turns over)
41
00:03:20,553 --> 00:03:22,354
Come on, come on.
42
00:03:22,355 --> 00:03:24,890
Maybe we should get
jumper cables, hook it up
to another kitchen.
43
00:03:29,562 --> 00:03:32,231
I think I got it.
(motor starts)
44
00:03:32,232 --> 00:03:34,566
Listen to that baby purr.
45
00:03:34,567 --> 00:03:38,337
Let's step inside, take a tour
of the man's kitchen.
46
00:03:45,545 --> 00:03:50,482
(grunts)
47
00:03:50,483 --> 00:03:54,186
Well, we start first here
at men's fine china.
48
00:03:54,187 --> 00:03:56,889
That's right.
49
00:03:56,890 --> 00:03:59,691
16-ply steel-belted
paper plates.
50
00:03:59,692 --> 00:04:01,693
These plates
are available
51
00:04:01,694 --> 00:04:05,164
In standard black
and white walls.
52
00:04:05,165 --> 00:04:08,367
Now we move on
to the most important part
of the meal - vegetables.
53
00:04:12,772 --> 00:04:15,640
For most men, there's only
two kinds of vegetables -
54
00:04:15,641 --> 00:04:18,978
Your beans and your potatoes.
55
00:04:18,979 --> 00:04:22,214
I had my beans yesterday.
I know.
56
00:04:25,051 --> 00:04:27,219
Now, potatoes...
Mmm, hard to cook,
57
00:04:27,220 --> 00:04:29,755
'cause when a guy wants to eat,
a guy wants to eat.
58
00:04:29,756 --> 00:04:31,757
He can't wait
for endless seconds
on a microwave.
59
00:04:31,758 --> 00:04:34,226
That's why we've got
the binford macrowave.
60
00:04:37,864 --> 00:04:39,631
Three convenient
power settings -
61
00:04:39,632 --> 00:04:43,269
"high,""really high"
and "split your own atoms."
62
00:04:45,405 --> 00:04:48,573
Now, tim, won't this put out
a little too much radiation?
63
00:04:48,574 --> 00:04:50,809
Mm, that's a good
safety tip, al.
64
00:04:50,810 --> 00:04:53,045
That's why we're
equipped with these.
65
00:04:56,783 --> 00:04:58,384
Lead vests.
66
00:05:00,620 --> 00:05:05,824
Also useful in case
superman wants to take a peek
at your underwear.
67
00:05:05,825 --> 00:05:09,228
No problem there.
I'm not wearing any.
68
00:05:18,471 --> 00:05:21,407
Don't wanna overcook
a potato, so only in there
a couple of seconds.
69
00:05:21,408 --> 00:05:23,742
Now don't look directly
at the potato.
70
00:05:30,183 --> 00:05:31,783
(ding)
71
00:05:42,329 --> 00:05:46,098
Once they stop glowing,
they're probably ready to eat.
72
00:05:46,099 --> 00:05:47,799
Grab the potatoes.
All right.
73
00:05:51,671 --> 00:05:53,505
Hot potato! Hot potato!
74
00:05:56,709 --> 00:05:59,111
Here we have
our beverage center.
75
00:05:59,112 --> 00:06:02,514
We got beer, got root beer,
pepto-bismol.
76
00:06:05,085 --> 00:06:07,152
But now we get to
that main course.
77
00:06:07,153 --> 00:06:10,089
Ooh, yeah. The main course
in every man's meal is what?
78
00:06:10,090 --> 00:06:11,423
That would be meat.
79
00:06:11,424 --> 00:06:12,458
The redder...
80
00:06:12,459 --> 00:06:14,493
(both) the better.
81
00:06:14,494 --> 00:06:17,329
The man's refrigerator -
stainless-steel doors,
big cubic inches.
82
00:06:17,330 --> 00:06:20,299
What does every man dream about
having in a refrigerator?
83
00:06:20,300 --> 00:06:22,901
That's simple, tim.
A butcher.
84
00:06:26,873 --> 00:06:28,540
Benny, how are you doing?
85
00:06:28,541 --> 00:06:31,843
Hey, tim. Hi, al.
What will it be today?
86
00:06:31,844 --> 00:06:35,547
I don't know. I got a hankering
for a thick porterhouse.
87
00:06:35,548 --> 00:06:37,016
Good choice.
88
00:06:40,853 --> 00:06:44,089
I'll take the petite
filet mignon.
89
00:06:44,090 --> 00:06:45,690
Takes all kinds.
90
00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:51,196
Here you go.
Good-looking meat.
Thanks a lot. Stay cool.
91
00:06:53,266 --> 00:06:55,200
All right, we flip them
on our grill.
92
00:06:58,304 --> 00:07:01,073
Now,
you don't wanna overcook 'em.
You just want 'em flame-kissed.
93
00:07:09,916 --> 00:07:13,285
Ding! They're done.
All right.
94
00:07:13,286 --> 00:07:17,122
(moos)
still moving, al.
95
00:07:21,827 --> 00:07:24,430
Now we're ready to
put on our seasoning.
96
00:07:24,431 --> 00:07:27,899
Right. We got hot sauce,
steak sauce, barbecue sauce.
97
00:07:27,900 --> 00:07:29,701
What's your pick?
98
00:07:29,702 --> 00:07:31,736
Not one of those. I'd like
just a pinch of salt.
99
00:07:31,737 --> 00:07:33,605
You got it, friend.
100
00:07:39,679 --> 00:07:41,880
(coughing
101
00:07:41,881 --> 00:07:44,516
Well, I seem to have messed up
your dinner. Let's get rid
of those plates.
102
00:07:48,154 --> 00:07:50,589
Right down
to the recycling center.
103
00:07:50,590 --> 00:07:53,959
Now, we've cleaned the dishes.
What about all the mess
in the kitchen?
104
00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:56,761
The grease, the appliances,
the floor, the walls?
What do we do now?
105
00:07:56,762 --> 00:07:59,264
Tim, the best thing about
the binford men's kitchen
106
00:07:59,265 --> 00:08:02,401
Is it's entirely
self-cleaning.
107
00:08:02,402 --> 00:08:03,835
It is. That's right.
108
00:08:03,836 --> 00:08:07,038
We got the binford
kitchen-washing system here.
109
00:08:07,039 --> 00:08:10,342
You step out of the kitchen,
shut your waterproof doors...
110
00:08:10,343 --> 00:08:15,180
(♪ fanfare)
111
00:08:15,181 --> 00:08:18,850
Klaus, can we cut the...?
What is this,
a renaissance fair?
112
00:08:21,121 --> 00:08:23,788
You add your detergent pellets
early in the week,
113
00:08:23,789 --> 00:08:27,259
Then you put it on heavy wash,
spin dry, energy saver.
114
00:08:27,260 --> 00:08:28,627
Start your wash.
115
00:08:31,431 --> 00:08:33,632
In a half-hour,
you got a clean kitchen.
116
00:08:33,633 --> 00:08:36,468
Floors, walls,
the whole thing's...
117
00:08:50,150 --> 00:08:53,118
Yeah, that's a fine charity.
I'm sure that they
have a lovely dinner,
118
00:08:53,119 --> 00:08:57,889
But our dinner's
a little different.
There is no dinner.
119
00:08:57,890 --> 00:09:00,058
No, this is not
a crank call.
120
00:09:00,059 --> 00:09:02,694
Uh, we're having
a "no dinner" dinner.
121
00:09:02,695 --> 00:09:04,696
It means you don't
have to get dressed up
122
00:09:04,697 --> 00:09:06,731
And sit in a big
impersonal ballroom
123
00:09:06,732 --> 00:09:10,502
And make small talk
with people you don't know.
124
00:09:10,503 --> 00:09:12,171
You like that.
125
00:09:12,172 --> 00:09:16,775
Well, um, maybe you could just
send a contribution anyway.
126
00:09:16,776 --> 00:09:21,112
You know, 'cause the library
really needs... Hello?
127
00:09:21,113 --> 00:09:24,550
I can't believe
she hung up on me.
Hi.
128
00:09:24,551 --> 00:09:26,718
Hi.
What's the matter?
129
00:09:26,719 --> 00:09:30,722
This "no dinner" dinner thing
is not as easy as I thought.
Nobody understands it.
130
00:09:30,723 --> 00:09:33,559
I can't think about it
right now. My mind's racing.
131
00:09:33,560 --> 00:09:36,662
The man's kitchen went over
bigger than I ever expected.
132
00:09:36,663 --> 00:09:38,997
You know what
the end of next week is?
No, what?
133
00:09:38,998 --> 00:09:41,200
It's the fifth anniversary
of tool time.
134
00:09:41,201 --> 00:09:43,202
I can't believe
you don't remember this.
135
00:09:43,203 --> 00:09:46,538
Tim, when is
our anniversary?
136
00:09:52,345 --> 00:09:54,479
February.
137
00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:56,114
February what?
138
00:09:57,450 --> 00:09:58,617
Middle.
139
00:09:59,785 --> 00:10:02,588
You are so pathetic.
140
00:10:02,589 --> 00:10:06,692
Listen to me. This anniversary
show is huge. It's gotta be
bigger than a kitchen show.
141
00:10:06,693 --> 00:10:09,194
I gotta think of something
that will knock
the audience's socks off.
142
00:10:09,195 --> 00:10:12,897
Why don't you show highlights
from some of your best shows?
143
00:10:12,898 --> 00:10:16,968
As good as those would be,
you can't just show clips
for an anniversary show.
144
00:10:16,969 --> 00:10:19,003
You've gotta think big.
Help me.
145
00:10:19,004 --> 00:10:21,306
Ok, how about this?
All right.
146
00:10:21,307 --> 00:10:23,808
You take the whole crew
to arizona.
I'm with you.
147
00:10:23,809 --> 00:10:25,877
Drive to the grand canyon.
Yeah.
148
00:10:25,878 --> 00:10:29,814
Fill the whole thing in
with putty.
149
00:10:33,786 --> 00:10:37,256
That's ridiculous.
Putty.
150
00:10:42,829 --> 00:10:45,096
Al. Al!
151
00:10:45,097 --> 00:10:48,066
I've got a great idea
for our tool time
anniversary show.
152
00:10:48,067 --> 00:10:50,101
I've been thinking
about that, too.
153
00:10:50,102 --> 00:10:54,005
It should be
something simple, tasteful
and totally tool-oriented.
154
00:10:54,006 --> 00:10:58,543
How about taking the whole crew
down to indy speedway?
155
00:10:58,544 --> 00:11:00,679
I like it.
Yeah!
156
00:11:00,680 --> 00:11:03,848
There's more. I'll challenge
michael and mario andretti
to race with myself.
157
00:11:03,849 --> 00:11:05,584
Great! What about me?
158
00:11:05,585 --> 00:11:07,986
You can serve sandwiches
and wash the cars and stuff.
159
00:11:09,656 --> 00:11:11,856
President davidson.
Hi, guys.
160
00:11:11,857 --> 00:11:13,124
Nice to see you.
161
00:11:13,125 --> 00:11:16,194
Nice to see you, al.
162
00:11:16,195 --> 00:11:18,897
Tim, tim, tim.
163
00:11:18,898 --> 00:11:21,600
What, what, what?
164
00:11:21,601 --> 00:11:23,968
I'm sitting in
binford headquarters
the other day,
165
00:11:23,969 --> 00:11:27,706
I turn on the show
that we sponsor,
and what do I see?
166
00:11:27,707 --> 00:11:30,809
The glare of your head
reflecting off the screen?
167
00:11:30,810 --> 00:11:34,379
No, tim. I see a kitchen
168
00:11:34,380 --> 00:11:36,915
That has sucked up your budget
for the next six months,
169
00:11:36,916 --> 00:11:42,821
Although I do appreciate
your using my brother-in-law
as the butcher.
170
00:11:42,822 --> 00:11:45,624
These figures are off.
Did you see the ratings?
They went through the roof.
171
00:11:45,625 --> 00:11:48,293
It doesn't justify
what you spent.
We talked about this.
172
00:11:48,294 --> 00:11:50,429
You promised you were gonna
start cutting back.
173
00:11:50,430 --> 00:11:53,031
I did cut back.
You know those...
Those lead vests?
174
00:11:53,032 --> 00:11:56,000
Al's was only lead-plated.
175
00:12:00,005 --> 00:12:02,341
Excuse me. I have to
see a doctor now.
176
00:12:02,342 --> 00:12:05,043
It was a joke.
A joke, a joke, a joke.
177
00:12:05,044 --> 00:12:06,778
Well, I'm not joking,
tim.
178
00:12:06,779 --> 00:12:09,247
From now on,
you don't spend a cent
unless I ok it.
179
00:12:09,248 --> 00:12:11,082
All right. We'll start
after the anniversary show.
180
00:12:11,083 --> 00:12:13,218
Wait. What have you
got planned for that?
181
00:12:13,219 --> 00:12:14,686
Well, we're going
to indianapolis.
182
00:12:14,687 --> 00:12:16,788
Aah...
183
00:12:16,789 --> 00:12:17,956
Really?
184
00:12:19,925 --> 00:12:23,061
Well, two words
come to mind. Uh-uh.
185
00:12:24,764 --> 00:12:28,700
No, no.
Look, let me just-just try
to explain this to you again.
186
00:12:28,701 --> 00:12:31,169
This is a "no dinner" dinner.
187
00:12:32,805 --> 00:12:38,209
It doesn't matter what you wear.
There is no place to wear it to.
188
00:12:38,210 --> 00:12:42,080
No, no, there's no point
in ordering a vegetarian plate.
There's no food. No food.
189
00:12:42,081 --> 00:12:45,049
Look, just send me
a check, ok? Goodbye.
190
00:12:51,657 --> 00:12:54,993
Jill. Jill. Guess what happened
when davidson saw...
191
00:12:54,994 --> 00:12:57,161
You will not believe
what I'm going through
with this fund-raiser.
192
00:12:57,162 --> 00:12:59,765
You think it's hard
to sell tickets to a dinner?
193
00:12:59,766 --> 00:13:02,367
Try selling tickets
to a "no dinner" dinner.
194
00:13:02,368 --> 00:13:06,605
He cut the budget on the show.
I am sick and tired of
asking people for money.
195
00:13:06,606 --> 00:13:08,440
It is so degrading.
196
00:13:08,441 --> 00:13:12,577
Talk about degrading. He...
People treat me
like a bill collector!
197
00:13:12,578 --> 00:13:15,747
You know, they
have their numbers changed
just to avoid talking to me.
198
00:13:15,748 --> 00:13:18,149
They see me at the supermarket,
there's this mad rush
for the door.
199
00:13:18,150 --> 00:13:20,919
I wanted to have
the andrettis on...
200
00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:22,954
You have no idea
what it's like
201
00:13:22,955 --> 00:13:25,356
To be the cause
of a multi-shopping cart
collision.
202
00:13:25,357 --> 00:13:27,492
Unfortunately,
I do know how that feels.
203
00:13:27,493 --> 00:13:29,528
I did this out of
the goodness of my heart.
204
00:13:29,529 --> 00:13:34,399
If I could just...
I am so tired
of giving, giving, giving.
205
00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:36,401
When this is all over,
I don't want anybody
206
00:13:36,402 --> 00:13:38,437
To ask anything of me
ever again.
207
00:13:38,438 --> 00:13:41,973
Oh, I'm so sorry.
What were you saying?
How was your day?
208
00:13:47,880 --> 00:13:50,949
Oh, my, my, my,
I know it must be spring
209
00:13:50,950 --> 00:13:54,920
When I hear the sweet sounds
of a wire bristle
on a rusty grill.
210
00:13:54,921 --> 00:13:56,922
That's it, wilson.
What have you got there?
211
00:13:56,923 --> 00:14:00,091
Tim, I'm about to add
some bacterial organisms
to my milk.
212
00:14:00,092 --> 00:14:01,726
Really?
213
00:14:03,796 --> 00:14:06,264
I'm more of a chocolate syrup
kind of guy.
214
00:14:06,265 --> 00:14:07,432
(chuckles)
215
00:14:07,433 --> 00:14:10,234
No, no, no, no, tim.
I'm making yogurt.
216
00:14:10,235 --> 00:14:12,804
The bacteria sours the milk.
217
00:14:12,805 --> 00:14:16,575
You must have put some of that
in my boss' milk.
He's sour all the time.
218
00:14:16,576 --> 00:14:18,209
Tool time troubles, tim?
219
00:14:18,210 --> 00:14:20,311
Our fifth anniversary show
is coming up.
220
00:14:20,312 --> 00:14:22,814
I wanna make a big deal,
but davidson won't pay for it.
221
00:14:22,815 --> 00:14:25,216
I want to make
a big, spectacular gift
to my audience.
222
00:14:25,217 --> 00:14:28,152
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
223
00:14:28,153 --> 00:14:31,255
You know, tim, in ancient china,
there was once an emperor,
224
00:14:31,256 --> 00:14:33,492
And every year
on his birthday,
225
00:14:33,493 --> 00:14:36,327
Everybody in the land
would bring him a gift.
226
00:14:36,328 --> 00:14:39,865
And every year, the gifts
became more and more elaborate.
227
00:14:39,866 --> 00:14:41,800
I get your point.
228
00:14:41,801 --> 00:14:45,203
That's very good,
'cause I haven't
made one yet.
229
00:14:45,204 --> 00:14:47,973
One year, a small boy
appeared before the emperor
230
00:14:47,974 --> 00:14:50,775
And told him that
he had no riches to give.
231
00:14:50,776 --> 00:14:53,912
The only gift that he had
was a song.
232
00:14:53,913 --> 00:14:56,381
You know what
the emperor did?
233
00:14:56,382 --> 00:15:00,018
Got him booked
on dick woo's chinese bandstand.
234
00:15:01,988 --> 00:15:03,989
You're not
making this easy, tim.
235
00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:06,591
Anyway, when the emperor
heard this song,
236
00:15:06,592 --> 00:15:09,928
He was so moved
that he proclaimed it
the greatest gift of all,
237
00:15:09,929 --> 00:15:13,999
Because it was a gift
that came from the heart.
238
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:15,934
Well, I must get back
to the yogurt.
239
00:15:15,935 --> 00:15:19,838
Does everybody know
what time it is?
(all) tool time!
240
00:15:19,839 --> 00:15:22,807
That's right.
Here he is celebrating
his fifth fabulous year -
241
00:15:22,808 --> 00:15:25,877
Tim "the tool man" taylor!
242
00:15:29,248 --> 00:15:33,484
Thank you. Thank you, heidi.
Thank you, everybody.
243
00:15:33,485 --> 00:15:37,088
Thanks very much.
That's kind of you. I am
tim "the tool man" taylor,
244
00:15:37,089 --> 00:15:40,358
And you know my assistant -
al "stand by your tool man"
borland.
245
00:15:40,359 --> 00:15:44,529
It's great to be here
on this auspicious occasion.
Happy anniversary, tim.
246
00:15:44,530 --> 00:15:47,599
You, too, and happy anniversary
to the audience out there.
247
00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:50,401
If you look under your seats,
there's a personalized gift
from "the tool man."
248
00:15:51,704 --> 00:15:54,439
Made you look.
249
00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:57,375
We've had a lot of fun
these last five years.
250
00:15:57,376 --> 00:16:01,279
A lot of it's to do with
my family. They're here today.
Let's meet 'em, can we?
251
00:16:01,280 --> 00:16:05,550
My lovely, beautiful
and very attractive wife jill.
252
00:16:05,551 --> 00:16:08,720
Brad, mark and randy -
my little boys.
253
00:16:08,721 --> 00:16:11,823
Oh, and my neighbor's
here up behind them.
Wilson, say hi.
254
00:16:11,824 --> 00:16:15,393
Festum diem anniversarium tibi,
tim.
255
00:16:15,394 --> 00:16:16,828
What?
256
00:16:16,829 --> 00:16:19,363
That means "happy anniversary
to you" in latin.
257
00:16:19,364 --> 00:16:22,033
The ancient romans...
258
00:16:22,034 --> 00:16:25,070
Not now, wilson, not now.
We've got plenty of show
to do here, buddy.
259
00:16:25,071 --> 00:16:27,072
There's a lot of ways
we could celebrate
our fifth anniversary.
260
00:16:27,073 --> 00:16:29,841
Could've gone to indy
and had some race drivers on.
261
00:16:29,842 --> 00:16:33,111
But al and I decided to do
something more from the heart,
262
00:16:33,112 --> 00:16:36,881
Like the young chinese boy
that smelled his own yogurt.
263
00:16:39,418 --> 00:16:41,820
We started the show
with a very small budget.
264
00:16:41,821 --> 00:16:44,422
It was just two guys
with a passion for tools.
265
00:16:44,423 --> 00:16:47,358
And one guy
who knew how to use them.
Yeah.
266
00:16:51,030 --> 00:16:53,397
So I went to
binford's headquarters,
in the archives,
267
00:16:53,398 --> 00:16:57,502
And got our first episode,
and I put together
a little highlight tape.
268
00:16:57,503 --> 00:17:00,038
Ladies and gentlemen,
269
00:17:00,039 --> 00:17:03,174
The birth of the tool show.
270
00:17:09,281 --> 00:17:12,050
Does everybody know
what time it is?
271
00:17:18,724 --> 00:17:20,258
(all, unenthused) tool time.
272
00:17:20,259 --> 00:17:23,128
That's correct.
273
00:17:23,129 --> 00:17:28,633
Binford tools
is happy to present
your host tom taylor.
274
00:17:28,634 --> 00:17:30,434
(plays theme)
275
00:17:36,108 --> 00:17:38,209
Uh, thank you, mrs. Binford.
It's tim taylor.
276
00:17:38,210 --> 00:17:39,911
All right.
277
00:17:39,912 --> 00:17:42,947
Well, welcome, audience,
278
00:17:42,948 --> 00:17:46,350
To the premiere episode
of tool time.
279
00:17:46,351 --> 00:17:49,087
It's a show that celebrates
men and their tools.
280
00:17:49,088 --> 00:17:51,255
Before we get to
our project today,
281
00:17:51,256 --> 00:17:54,826
I'd like to bring out
an assistant
that we hired for me.
282
00:17:54,827 --> 00:17:58,563
We auditioned contractors
all through the detroit area,
a lot of professional men,
283
00:17:58,564 --> 00:18:03,001
And this is the guy that would
work for the money we offered.
284
00:18:04,269 --> 00:18:06,604
So, let's bring him out.
285
00:18:06,605 --> 00:18:09,440
A contractor, a master plumber
and a pisces - albert borland.
286
00:18:09,441 --> 00:18:10,875
Come on out, albert.
287
00:18:19,952 --> 00:18:21,186
Good to have you here.
288
00:18:24,156 --> 00:18:25,190
Hi.
289
00:18:29,428 --> 00:18:31,863
Ok. It's nice
to have you here.
290
00:18:31,864 --> 00:18:35,200
I'm al borland,
and I'm pleased to
make your acquaintance.
291
00:18:35,201 --> 00:18:36,868
I'm also very honored
292
00:18:36,869 --> 00:18:39,204
To be part of
your tool education.
293
00:18:39,205 --> 00:18:43,208
It's over here, though.
You would look into
this camera. Um...
294
00:18:43,209 --> 00:18:46,177
My wife suggested
I cut the beard for the look,
but I think it fits...
295
00:18:46,178 --> 00:18:49,580
Oh, no, no. I like
a man in a beard.
296
00:18:49,581 --> 00:18:51,082
Whoa, big fella.
297
00:18:51,083 --> 00:18:53,484
Speaking of big fella,
298
00:18:53,485 --> 00:18:57,088
Who's that big guy
you were talking with backstage?
299
00:18:57,089 --> 00:18:59,224
That was my mother.
300
00:18:59,225 --> 00:19:01,226
Ok. Before we get started,
301
00:19:01,227 --> 00:19:04,129
The first thing
we're gonna learn today
is how to drive a stake.
302
00:19:13,272 --> 00:19:16,340
I don't understand.
Aren't we talking about
wooden stakes?
303
00:19:16,341 --> 00:19:18,609
Albert...
Can I call you al?
304
00:19:18,610 --> 00:19:20,912
Ok.
305
00:19:20,913 --> 00:19:24,182
This is supposed to be a joke.
Guy driving a steak.
306
00:19:28,821 --> 00:19:30,454
Ah...
307
00:19:33,558 --> 00:19:35,827
We've leveled our dirt.
We got some form up.
308
00:19:35,828 --> 00:19:38,129
Al, you guide us
the rest of the way.
309
00:19:38,130 --> 00:19:39,664
We've done about everything
310
00:19:39,665 --> 00:19:41,299
Until we pour the concrete,
311
00:19:41,300 --> 00:19:44,068
So all we need to do now
is set the stakes,
close in the form.
312
00:19:44,069 --> 00:19:44,869
Exactly!
313
00:19:44,870 --> 00:19:46,037
We need a sledgehammer for that.
314
00:19:46,038 --> 00:19:47,605
Mrs. Binford...
315
00:19:49,809 --> 00:19:51,843
There you go, tom.
316
00:19:51,844 --> 00:19:54,312
Thank you,
mrs. Been-in-the-sauce.
317
00:19:59,185 --> 00:20:02,053
Al, will you hold the stake
while I drive her in?
318
00:20:02,054 --> 00:20:07,125
I'd be pleased to, tim.
With an expert like tim,
I know I'm in good hands.
319
00:20:09,228 --> 00:20:11,529
I think we've had
about enough of that.
320
00:20:13,465 --> 00:20:16,301
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed
our first episode.
321
00:20:16,302 --> 00:20:18,402
Not so fast.
322
00:20:18,403 --> 00:20:21,072
Jill and I
have a surprise for you.
What?
323
00:20:21,073 --> 00:20:24,642
We knew you were disappointed
when we couldn't do the show
live from indy.
324
00:20:24,643 --> 00:20:28,213
So we brought a little bit
of indy to you.
What'd you do?
325
00:20:28,214 --> 00:20:31,482
Ladies and gentlemen,
michael andretti
and johnny rutherford.
326
00:20:32,885 --> 00:20:34,719
Hey, hey!
327
00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:37,021
Hey.
328
00:20:39,791 --> 00:20:41,792
Great stuff.
329
00:20:44,930 --> 00:20:47,398
Ah...
330
00:20:47,399 --> 00:20:48,399
Put 'er there.
331
00:20:51,703 --> 00:20:54,538
Al, honey, this is...
Oh, boy.
332
00:20:54,539 --> 00:20:56,574
Well, um, our guests.
333
00:20:56,575 --> 00:21:00,178
Michael andretti,
you've come from formula one
to race indy cars.
334
00:21:00,179 --> 00:21:02,213
With the chip ganassi
team, right?
335
00:21:02,214 --> 00:21:07,218
And johnny rutherford -
three-time indy winner.
This is just too great.
336
00:21:07,219 --> 00:21:09,320
Your dad didn't show up -
mario. Where's he?
337
00:21:09,321 --> 00:21:13,624
Dad couldn't come. He's racing
his racecar, but I brought
somebody just as old.
338
00:21:17,129 --> 00:21:20,564
I believe I beat you here
from the airport, kid.
339
00:21:20,565 --> 00:21:24,168
That's 'cause I used
tim's directions.
340
00:21:24,169 --> 00:21:26,804
Guys, guys. We're not
on a dirt track here.
341
00:21:26,805 --> 00:21:30,141
Come on,
let's enjoy ourselves. Who
talked you into doing this?
342
00:21:30,142 --> 00:21:33,677
Well, your wife can be
a pretty persuasive woman.
343
00:21:33,678 --> 00:21:37,648
Yeah. She even talked us
into a "no dinner" dinner.
344
00:21:40,052 --> 00:21:42,921
Hope there's chicken.
345
00:21:42,922 --> 00:21:46,357
We'll talk with the drivers
after this message
from binford.
346
00:22:01,273 --> 00:22:03,107
That's amazing.
347
00:22:03,108 --> 00:22:05,944
I had no idea you could
do that in an indy car.
That's unbelievable.
348
00:22:05,945 --> 00:22:09,814
I gotta thank michael andretti
and johnny rutherford
for being on the show.
349
00:22:09,815 --> 00:22:13,184
How about a round of applause
for the boys here?
350
00:22:15,387 --> 00:22:16,787
Yeah.
351
00:22:16,788 --> 00:22:20,091
Along with our guests,
al and I wanna thank the people
352
00:22:20,092 --> 00:22:22,093
Really responsible
for tool time.
353
00:22:22,094 --> 00:22:26,730
I wanna get everybody out here.
All the grips, the prop people,
costumes, lights, everybody.
354
00:22:26,731 --> 00:22:29,434
Come on, everybody out here.
Everybody!
355
00:22:29,435 --> 00:22:31,936
Everybody here on tool time.
356
00:22:31,937 --> 00:22:33,904
Wait a minute.
357
00:22:33,905 --> 00:22:34,973
Hey, cameramen, too.
358
00:22:34,974 --> 00:22:35,873
You guys gotta get out here.
359
00:22:35,874 --> 00:22:37,908
Come on, everybody. Come on.
360
00:22:37,909 --> 00:22:39,910
Uh-oh. Bad idea.
361
00:22:42,114 --> 00:22:43,747
(tim) come on out, albert.
362
00:22:50,356 --> 00:22:51,956
Golly, gosh, darn it,
363
00:22:51,957 --> 00:22:53,958
We've had some fun,
haven't we, over the years?
364
00:22:53,959 --> 00:22:55,994
And a lot of it's to do
with my family.
365
00:22:55,995 --> 00:22:58,429
I wanna spin over here
and introduce my family here.
366
00:22:58,430 --> 00:23:00,999
My beautiful, talented,
brilliant wife pat.