1
00:00:05,759 --> 00:00:09,328
Oh, man,
I can't believe it.
What's the matter?
2
00:00:09,395 --> 00:00:12,564
I still haven't reached
my fundraising goal
for the library.
3
00:00:12,633 --> 00:00:15,835
Where am I gonna get
another thousand dollars?
4
00:00:15,902 --> 00:00:20,339
Well, you could pay the fine
on that library book I've
had out for seven years.
5
00:00:20,406 --> 00:00:23,876
I'm almost done with it.
6
00:00:23,944 --> 00:00:26,946
If I could just reach
this fundraising goal
7
00:00:27,014 --> 00:00:28,714
I'd be out of the fundraising
business forever.
8
00:00:28,782 --> 00:00:32,652
No more kissing up to people,
planning stupid events.
9
00:00:32,719 --> 00:00:34,553
I'd be a whole
different person.
10
00:00:34,621 --> 00:00:37,957
Forget the book,
I got the grand right here.
11
00:00:38,025 --> 00:00:40,259
What's that
supposed to mean?
12
00:00:40,326 --> 00:00:42,294
Honey, snookums.
13
00:00:42,362 --> 00:00:44,930
Loverbuns, come on.
14
00:00:44,998 --> 00:00:47,599
This fundraising
doesn't actually
bring out the best in you.
15
00:00:47,668 --> 00:00:50,502
You've been almost as unbearable
as you were during childbirth.
16
00:00:50,570 --> 00:00:53,072
I'd like to see how pleasant
you'd be giving birth.
17
00:00:53,140 --> 00:00:55,307
Hey. I'd be huge giving birth.
18
00:00:55,375 --> 00:00:57,476
Cracking jokes,
doing impressions.
19
00:00:57,544 --> 00:01:01,080
"look, sumo man.
Look at me, look at me."
20
00:01:01,148 --> 00:01:04,449
I would cut the umbilical cord
with binford 6100
hedge clippers.
21
00:01:04,517 --> 00:01:06,652
(chopping sounds)
22
00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:11,456
Great way for baby to begin
life, seeing you coming
at him with hedge clippers.
23
00:01:11,524 --> 00:01:14,760
Hey, come on, help me out.
Where am I gonna get this money?
24
00:01:14,828 --> 00:01:17,730
Have a bake sale.
Get your cupcakes to everybody.
25
00:01:17,798 --> 00:01:21,600
Once the nausea sets in,
just grab their wallet.
26
00:01:21,668 --> 00:01:24,303
How do you think I got
the last thousand?
27
00:01:24,370 --> 00:01:26,872
Know how they have those
studly celebrity auctions?
28
00:01:26,940 --> 00:01:28,473
We could do that
on tool time.
29
00:01:28,541 --> 00:01:30,309
Sure.
30
00:01:30,376 --> 00:01:33,245
People would pay a lot of money
to have a handsome tool guy stop
by and fix stuff.
31
00:01:33,313 --> 00:01:35,748
Do you think al
would do that?
32
00:01:38,051 --> 00:01:40,319
You auction me off,
you raise all the money
you need for the library,
33
00:01:40,386 --> 00:01:43,622
Have money left over for
a turbocharged four-wheel
drive bookmobile.
34
00:01:43,690 --> 00:01:47,026
Why would the library need
a turbocharged bookmobile?
35
00:01:47,094 --> 00:01:49,394
Speed reading courses.
36
00:03:01,067 --> 00:03:03,169
What do you think? Could we
put the kids in the middle?
37
00:03:10,010 --> 00:03:12,611
Welcome to tool time.
I'm tim "the tool man" taylor,
38
00:03:12,679 --> 00:03:15,014
And you all know my
assistant, al borland.
39
00:03:15,081 --> 00:03:17,082
(applause)
40
00:03:19,085 --> 00:03:20,920
Well, today's your chance
41
00:03:20,987 --> 00:03:23,823
To take home tv's top tool man
for an entire day.
42
00:03:23,890 --> 00:03:25,925
That's right.
43
00:03:25,992 --> 00:03:30,262
One lucky bidder will
be able to take home... Me.
44
00:03:30,330 --> 00:03:34,900
I should mention that it's
for a very worthy cause.
45
00:03:34,968 --> 00:03:38,704
Let's bring out our guest
auctioneer with a big round
of applause.
46
00:03:38,771 --> 00:03:43,475
This woman's enjoyed my tool
expertise for the last 15 years.
47
00:03:43,543 --> 00:03:46,478
Big warm tool time welcome
for jill "the tool wife" taylor!
48
00:03:46,546 --> 00:03:48,981
Honey, come on.
49
00:03:55,188 --> 00:03:58,623
Thank you. I should mention
that all the proceeds
from the auction today
50
00:03:58,691 --> 00:04:01,393
Go to the detroit
public library.
51
00:04:01,461 --> 00:04:03,128
Should we start the bidding?
Yeah.
52
00:04:03,196 --> 00:04:04,463
Actually, before you
start the bidding,
53
00:04:04,530 --> 00:04:06,832
I have a surprise entry
for the auction.
54
00:04:06,900 --> 00:04:10,569
Surprise?
Yes. I think it'll
bring in quite a tidy sum.
55
00:04:10,636 --> 00:04:14,006
Let's have a warm welcome
for the tool man that needs
no introduction.
56
00:04:14,074 --> 00:04:17,743
The grand master of tools,
mr. Bob vila.
57
00:04:35,528 --> 00:04:38,764
Bob vila!
This is so exciting.
I'm bursting.
58
00:04:38,831 --> 00:04:41,367
Hi, tim.
Hey, bob.
Welcome to tool time.
59
00:04:41,434 --> 00:04:43,435
This is tim's
lovely wife, jill.
60
00:04:43,503 --> 00:04:46,838
Hello. Nice to meet you.
It's a thrill.
Likewise. It's a pleasure.
61
00:04:46,907 --> 00:04:48,774
Bob, what brings
you to detroit?
62
00:04:48,841 --> 00:04:52,444
I just showed my hot rod
at the custom car show
over at cobo hall.
63
00:04:52,512 --> 00:04:55,147
You built a hot rod?
Actually, I had it
built by some experts.
64
00:04:55,215 --> 00:04:58,250
I built my own.
65
00:04:58,318 --> 00:05:00,386
That's nice, tim.
But mine actually runs.
66
00:05:04,757 --> 00:05:07,026
Could we...?
67
00:05:08,661 --> 00:05:11,263
Tool show?
Cable television?
Sorry.
68
00:05:11,331 --> 00:05:15,467
Right. Why don't we start
our auction off by bidding
on our good friend bob vila?
69
00:05:15,535 --> 00:05:18,070
Step up here, bob.
Ok.
70
00:05:18,138 --> 00:05:22,507
Please bear with my wife,
this is the first time she's
ever been an auctioneer.
71
00:05:25,979 --> 00:05:29,248
I'm gonna open the bidding
at one hundred dollars.
72
00:05:29,316 --> 00:05:30,549
One hundred dollars.
73
00:05:30,616 --> 00:05:34,920
I got a hundred, do I hear
a hundred and a quarter?
74
00:05:34,988 --> 00:05:37,990
Two hundred.
Two hundred from
the lady in the denim.
75
00:05:38,058 --> 00:05:39,891
Do I hear three hundred,
three hundred?
76
00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:43,562
Talk to me, talk to me,
swing, batter, swing.
77
00:05:43,629 --> 00:05:45,897
Come on, people.
Stop sitting on your hands.
78
00:05:45,966 --> 00:05:48,567
This is big bob vila,
the man who's the reason
79
00:05:48,634 --> 00:05:50,869
Why men like my husband
have a job.
80
00:05:54,174 --> 00:05:56,808
Seven hundred.
Woohoo!
Seven hundred!
81
00:05:56,876 --> 00:05:59,011
Seven hundred,
seven hundred,
seven hundred,
82
00:05:59,079 --> 00:06:01,280
Going once,
going twice...
83
00:06:01,348 --> 00:06:05,017
Sold for seven hundred
smackeroonies to the man
with the wonderful smile.
84
00:06:05,085 --> 00:06:06,818
Hope you're very happy
with your tool man.
85
00:06:13,559 --> 00:06:15,760
I'm telling you,
seven hundred dollars...
86
00:06:15,828 --> 00:06:19,431
Seven hundred dollars
is a lot of money,
but he is worth it.
87
00:06:19,499 --> 00:06:24,903
Petty cash. Wait till you see
what I go for. Sit down, bob.
88
00:06:24,971 --> 00:06:27,139
All right,
ladies and germs,
89
00:06:27,207 --> 00:06:30,742
You now have the chance to bid
on the toast of tool time,
90
00:06:30,810 --> 00:06:33,312
The host of tool time,
tim "the tool man" taylor.
91
00:06:33,380 --> 00:06:35,647
I'll open the bidding
at one hundred dollars.
92
00:06:35,715 --> 00:06:39,351
A hundred, a hundred,
a hundred...
A hundred.
93
00:06:39,419 --> 00:06:43,822
A hundred dollars! Do I hear
two hundred dollars,
two hundred, two hundred?
94
00:06:43,890 --> 00:06:47,426
Just remember this man
will do to your house what
he does here every day.
95
00:06:47,494 --> 00:06:50,329
Maybe we should auction
off some homeowners'
insurance first.
96
00:06:53,566 --> 00:06:55,067
Come on, people,
I got a hundred dollars.
97
00:06:55,135 --> 00:06:58,837
Do I hear one-fifty,
one-fifty, one-fifty?
98
00:07:04,244 --> 00:07:07,246
Guy in the back.
Two hundred, he says.
I didn't see a hand.
99
00:07:07,313 --> 00:07:09,814
He's got gloves on.
Ok, we have two hundred.
100
00:07:09,882 --> 00:07:12,884
Do I hear three hundred?
Somebody give me three hundred.
101
00:07:12,952 --> 00:07:15,387
Anybody give me three hundred,
anybody, anybody.
102
00:07:17,123 --> 00:07:19,691
Nobody.
103
00:07:19,759 --> 00:07:21,927
All right.
I bid three hundred dollars.
104
00:07:21,994 --> 00:07:23,662
You can't bid,
you're the auctioneer.
105
00:07:23,729 --> 00:07:27,232
It's my auction
and I'll bid if I want to.
106
00:07:27,300 --> 00:07:30,936
Three hundred dollars.
Going once, going twice.
107
00:07:31,003 --> 00:07:33,572
Going home with me
for three hundred dollars.
108
00:07:33,639 --> 00:07:37,142
Wait, you put the gavel down
too fast. The guy in the back.
Speak up, sir.
109
00:07:37,210 --> 00:07:40,479
How can I get tickets
to bob vila's show?
110
00:07:44,918 --> 00:07:47,018
Hi, guys,
I'm home.
111
00:07:49,222 --> 00:07:51,223
I said I'm home.
112
00:07:51,291 --> 00:07:52,824
How'd the auction go?
113
00:07:52,892 --> 00:07:55,894
Put a gavel in my hand,
I come alive.
114
00:07:55,962 --> 00:07:57,596
So, did you raise
a lot of money?
115
00:07:57,663 --> 00:08:00,232
We raised all of it.
It was great.
116
00:08:00,300 --> 00:08:02,734
Bob vila showed up
and the bidding went wild.
117
00:08:02,802 --> 00:08:04,203
How'd dad do?
118
00:08:04,270 --> 00:08:07,506
Good. Real good.
119
00:08:07,574 --> 00:08:12,043
In fact, he was bought
by a very attractive woman.
120
00:08:13,546 --> 00:08:15,547
How much did you pay for him?
121
00:08:18,585 --> 00:08:20,619
Doesn't matter how
much I paid for him.
122
00:08:20,686 --> 00:08:22,454
How much did
bob vila go for?
123
00:08:22,522 --> 00:08:25,290
It's not important.
124
00:08:25,358 --> 00:08:28,059
Vila kicked his butt, huh?
125
00:08:29,195 --> 00:08:31,597
You might say that.
126
00:08:31,664 --> 00:08:34,966
Just don't say it
in front of your father.
And I mean it, randy.
127
00:08:35,034 --> 00:08:36,335
Hi, guys.
128
00:08:41,107 --> 00:08:43,108
Why you looking
at me like that?
129
00:08:43,176 --> 00:08:45,410
'cause bob vila
kicked my butt again?
130
00:08:45,478 --> 00:08:49,881
Well, since the ice is broken...
That must have been pretty
embarrassing, huh, dad?
131
00:08:51,518 --> 00:08:53,918
Thank you, honey.
132
00:08:53,986 --> 00:08:56,488
He brought it up.
133
00:08:56,556 --> 00:09:00,259
Boys, go wash up.
(randy) all right.
134
00:09:00,326 --> 00:09:03,262
So. I'm gonna cook dinner.
You want some chicken?
135
00:09:03,329 --> 00:09:06,931
Nah. How about a little piece
of vila, pounded real thin?
136
00:09:06,999 --> 00:09:09,034
Tim, will you get over it?
137
00:09:09,101 --> 00:09:10,802
This guy beats me
at everything I do.
138
00:09:10,870 --> 00:09:13,472
Last year the lawnmower race,
the auction. What's next?
139
00:09:13,540 --> 00:09:17,075
Look. The important thing
is the library got all
the money that we needed.
140
00:09:17,143 --> 00:09:19,645
I'd just like
to beat him at one thing.
141
00:09:19,712 --> 00:09:22,548
Ice skating,
skeet shooting.
Bobsledding.
142
00:09:22,615 --> 00:09:24,749
Oh, forget that. They probably
named it after him.
143
00:09:27,953 --> 00:09:30,121
Thank you, al.
Oh, no, thank you, bob.
144
00:09:30,190 --> 00:09:31,890
It was the thrill
of a lifetime.
145
00:09:31,957 --> 00:09:35,160
What'd you guys do?
Go to beards r us?
146
00:09:35,228 --> 00:09:38,863
No. Bob took me for a ride
in his new hot rod.
147
00:09:38,931 --> 00:09:40,465
It's unbelievable.
148
00:09:40,533 --> 00:09:44,369
He has a turbocharged two-liter
engine with 370 horsepower.
149
00:09:44,437 --> 00:09:47,573
And the whole body
is made out of aluminum.
150
00:09:47,640 --> 00:09:52,844
Big deal. My whole hot rod body
is made out of fiberglass.
151
00:09:52,912 --> 00:09:55,847
And we all know how fast
fiber makes you move.
152
00:09:59,085 --> 00:10:02,120
Tim, from what I hear,
your hot rod's not even running.
153
00:10:02,188 --> 00:10:03,988
Maybe you haven't
heard right, bob.
154
00:10:04,056 --> 00:10:07,459
I've gotta go.
I've gotta have my hot rod
in grosse point at ten.
155
00:10:07,527 --> 00:10:10,095
Bob, it's 9:45.
You're never gonna make that.
156
00:10:10,162 --> 00:10:13,932
Your hot rod couldn't.
Mine can.
157
00:10:13,999 --> 00:10:18,036
Are you suggesting your hot rod
can beat my hot rod?
158
00:10:18,104 --> 00:10:20,305
If the brake shoe fits...
159
00:10:20,373 --> 00:10:23,575
Wait a minute, wait. That's it.
Why don't we race our hot rods?
160
00:10:23,643 --> 00:10:27,412
Meet me at that old airport,
the military one on I-94,
tomorrow.
161
00:10:27,480 --> 00:10:29,948
You're on.
162
00:10:30,015 --> 00:10:32,584
Ok.
163
00:10:32,652 --> 00:10:36,288
We'll tape it for tool time,
so the audience can watch me
kick your tailpipes
164
00:10:36,356 --> 00:10:38,457
Right back to that old house.
165
00:10:38,524 --> 00:10:41,660
Tim, the show I do now
is called home again.
166
00:10:41,728 --> 00:10:45,697
Ok, bob. Kick your
tailpipes home again.
We'll see about that.
167
00:10:50,903 --> 00:10:54,406
All right. Now we just gotta
check the oil. How's it look?
168
00:10:54,474 --> 00:10:57,609
It's hard to see.
That's 'cause it's clean.
169
00:10:57,677 --> 00:11:02,314
That oil's so clean, you add
a little oregano and vinegar,
you got a salad dressing.
170
00:11:02,382 --> 00:11:05,450
Dad, after we get it started,
can we go for a ride?
171
00:11:05,518 --> 00:11:09,388
No, we got a few more
adjustments on the carbs
to make, then timing again.
172
00:11:09,455 --> 00:11:12,056
But we can start it.
Who wants to do it?
(both) I do.
173
00:11:12,124 --> 00:11:13,925
Too bad. My car.
174
00:11:18,364 --> 00:11:20,365
(clicking)
175
00:11:22,902 --> 00:11:25,970
Good work, dad.
176
00:11:26,038 --> 00:11:28,840
It's so quiet,
you can't even tell
it's running.
177
00:11:32,845 --> 00:11:34,513
It's the solenoid,
I think.
178
00:11:34,580 --> 00:11:36,281
Hey, guys.
How's it going?
179
00:11:36,349 --> 00:11:38,149
Dad's taking a ride
in the hot rod.
180
00:11:38,217 --> 00:11:41,320
Hey, dad, slow down!
Let mom get in!
181
00:11:44,791 --> 00:11:46,491
I'm telling you,
please pipe down.
182
00:11:46,559 --> 00:11:48,627
Uh-oh, there's someone
on your tail.
183
00:11:48,695 --> 00:11:51,896
Is it bob vila? No, it's
a little kid on a tricycle.
184
00:11:54,233 --> 00:11:57,369
Would you shut up?
Come on, tim.
185
00:11:57,437 --> 00:12:00,772
He's knocking my car, all right?
Hey, boys,
go on up to bed.
186
00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:04,175
All right. If you get
it started, wake me up.
Me too.
187
00:12:04,243 --> 00:12:05,910
It's ten o'clock.
188
00:12:05,978 --> 00:12:09,648
He's not gonna go driving around
in the middle of the night.
189
00:12:09,716 --> 00:12:12,951
He's not, is he?
If he can get it started,
he is.
190
00:12:15,154 --> 00:12:17,322
(clicking)
191
00:12:17,390 --> 00:12:20,024
Damn!
192
00:12:20,092 --> 00:12:22,794
Is it my imagination,
or are you a bit on edge
tonight?
193
00:12:22,862 --> 00:12:26,064
How would you feel
if your solenoid was stuck?
194
00:12:26,131 --> 00:12:30,469
First I'd cry, and then I'd want
to know what a solenoid is.
195
00:12:30,536 --> 00:12:32,904
It makes the car start.
Everybody knows that, jill.
196
00:12:32,972 --> 00:12:35,440
Oh, come on, tim.
197
00:12:35,508 --> 00:12:39,511
'cause you can't get the car
started is no reason to jump
all over me, or randy.
198
00:12:39,579 --> 00:12:42,781
I'm sorry, honey,
but I'm in a race tomorrow
and the car won't start.
199
00:12:42,849 --> 00:12:45,817
Why not call bob and ask him
if you can race him on Sunday?
200
00:12:45,885 --> 00:12:48,787
I told him the car was running.
Why did you do that?
201
00:12:48,855 --> 00:12:54,726
I don't know.
Why does sauerkraut go
through me like a laser beam?
202
00:12:54,794 --> 00:12:57,529
I need to get a new solenoid.
203
00:12:57,597 --> 00:13:01,232
I've got to find an auto parts
store that's open 24 hours.
204
00:13:01,300 --> 00:13:03,902
Well, what can
I do to help?
205
00:13:03,969 --> 00:13:05,136
Get a hammer...
Yeah?
206
00:13:05,204 --> 00:13:06,705
...And four big nails.
Yeah?
207
00:13:06,773 --> 00:13:09,307
Go to bob's hotel
and puncture all his tires.
208
00:13:15,782 --> 00:13:18,049
Got it, I got the...
All right, starter's on.
209
00:13:18,117 --> 00:13:20,585
Now, if you just hold it up.
210
00:13:20,653 --> 00:13:23,522
Will do.
211
00:13:23,589 --> 00:13:25,590
Tim, hand me that
nine-16ths socket.
212
00:13:25,658 --> 00:13:28,593
Really appreciate your coming
over so late to help.
213
00:13:28,661 --> 00:13:31,396
No problem, tim.
I was already up
feeding my bats.
214
00:13:34,199 --> 00:13:36,668
Here you go.
Thank you, neighbor tim.
215
00:13:36,736 --> 00:13:40,505
A few turns of this ratchet,
and we'll have this starter
problem fixed.
216
00:13:40,573 --> 00:13:43,241
Wilson, I don't know
how I got into this mess.
217
00:13:43,309 --> 00:13:46,711
It's taken me three years, three
years, to get this rod perfect.
218
00:13:46,779 --> 00:13:50,449
Since I challenged vila,
I gotta race it
and it's not even broken in yet.
219
00:13:50,516 --> 00:13:53,752
Well, sounds like you didn't
think before you challenged him.
220
00:13:53,820 --> 00:13:56,387
How would you like it
if you were in an auction
221
00:13:56,456 --> 00:14:00,792
And some other neighbor
behind a fence made 400
more dollars than you?
222
00:14:00,860 --> 00:14:03,027
Well, tim,
I'd be hi-de-hurt.
223
00:14:05,397 --> 00:14:07,198
That's how I felt.
224
00:14:07,266 --> 00:14:09,968
I started doubting myself
you know? I felt worthless.
225
00:14:10,035 --> 00:14:13,905
Well, tim, it's been
said that when a foot
compares itself to a yard
226
00:14:13,973 --> 00:14:15,807
It always comes up short.
227
00:14:21,213 --> 00:14:25,750
So you're saying that vila's
the yard, and I'm the foot,
and he's better than me, right?
228
00:14:25,818 --> 00:14:29,521
Well, only if you perceive
him as being better.
229
00:14:29,589 --> 00:14:31,590
Ok.
230
00:14:35,060 --> 00:14:38,463
A philosopher once said, "if you
place a small value on yourself,
231
00:14:38,531 --> 00:14:42,066
Rest assured the world
will not raise your price."
232
00:14:42,134 --> 00:14:45,103
But if I believe in myself
I could win this.
233
00:14:45,170 --> 00:14:48,874
No, no, no, tim.
If you believe in yourself
you've already won.
234
00:14:50,510 --> 00:14:52,343
The moment we've all
been waiting for.
235
00:14:52,411 --> 00:14:55,413
The moment when you
drag us out of bed
at 5:30 in the morning?
236
00:14:55,481 --> 00:14:58,650
No. I unveil the hot rod,
we take a little spin.
237
00:14:58,718 --> 00:15:00,284
All right.
Let's do it.
238
00:15:00,352 --> 00:15:03,722
I want to thank a few people
first, if I could, ok?
239
00:15:03,789 --> 00:15:06,190
All right. Bradley, I want
to thank you most of all,
240
00:15:06,258 --> 00:15:08,927
'cause you spent more
time on the hot rod
with me than anybody.
241
00:15:08,995 --> 00:15:11,897
So if something goes wrong
tomorrow, I'm blaming you.
242
00:15:14,033 --> 00:15:16,167
That sounds fair.
243
00:15:16,235 --> 00:15:20,138
Mark, thanks for all your help.
Thank you.
244
00:15:20,205 --> 00:15:21,472
And randy,
what can I say?
245
00:15:21,541 --> 00:15:23,808
You're definitely
one of my sons.
246
00:15:26,478 --> 00:15:28,647
Thanks, dad.
247
00:15:28,714 --> 00:15:30,982
Honey, I thank you the most
because you didn't get jealous,
248
00:15:31,050 --> 00:15:33,117
Even though I spent more time
with the hot rod than with you.
249
00:15:33,185 --> 00:15:36,655
Oh, I didn't mind that.
I just didn't like it
when you got us mixed up
250
00:15:36,722 --> 00:15:39,791
And tried to rotate my legs.
251
00:15:40,927 --> 00:15:43,361
You get better mileage now.
252
00:15:43,429 --> 00:15:47,131
All right, everybody
stand back. Hello!
253
00:15:47,199 --> 00:15:49,801
Honey, it looks
so beautiful.
254
00:15:49,869 --> 00:15:51,235
All right, hop in.
Let's go for a ride.
255
00:15:51,303 --> 00:15:53,939
Wait. We're in
our pajamas here.
256
00:15:54,006 --> 00:15:55,540
All right. Go get
some coats, come on.
257
00:15:55,608 --> 00:15:58,944
Move, move, we're not
gonna wait forever. Come on!
258
00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:03,582
What are you waiting for?
Something to explode?
259
00:16:05,718 --> 00:16:07,518
No.
260
00:16:07,587 --> 00:16:09,688
You don't want to
go for a ride, do you?
261
00:16:09,755 --> 00:16:12,223
I want to go for a ride.
262
00:16:12,291 --> 00:16:15,594
I just want to tell you
that your car looks great.
263
00:16:15,661 --> 00:16:17,028
And?
264
00:16:17,096 --> 00:16:20,732
And that I think you can
beat bob vila tomorrow.
265
00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:24,435
Really?
I sure hope so.
266
00:16:24,503 --> 00:16:26,571
A great philosopher said once,
267
00:16:28,540 --> 00:16:33,044
"if your feet are short,
and you don't raise your prices,
268
00:16:33,112 --> 00:16:36,547
You're destined
for yard sales."
269
00:16:45,491 --> 00:16:47,592
Anyway, my money's on you.
270
00:16:47,660 --> 00:16:51,830
I mean, you got a 350 v8 and 500
pounds of torque in this puppy.
271
00:16:51,897 --> 00:16:54,666
Uh?
272
00:16:54,734 --> 00:16:56,434
Randy, you're starting
to sound like me.
273
00:16:56,502 --> 00:16:59,137
(deep voice) oh, no,
don't want that.
Yeah, you do.
274
00:16:59,204 --> 00:17:01,906
Oh, I don't know about that.
Oh, ho, ho, yeah...
275
00:17:01,974 --> 00:17:05,043
I'm getting in the shotgun seat.
Mark, you get up here with me.
276
00:17:05,111 --> 00:17:08,479
Watch the paint
when you step there.
Randy, here's a jacket for you.
277
00:17:08,547 --> 00:17:10,949
Seatbelts,
everybody.
All right?
278
00:17:11,017 --> 00:17:12,083
Wow!
279
00:17:12,151 --> 00:17:14,352
Come on in.
Put your seatbelt on here.
280
00:17:14,419 --> 00:17:16,621
Locked in, everybody?
Almost.
281
00:17:16,689 --> 00:17:19,323
All right, taylor family.
Drumroll for me.
282
00:17:21,060 --> 00:17:22,861
Just start the car.
All right.
283
00:17:22,928 --> 00:17:24,929
(engine starts)
284
00:17:51,090 --> 00:17:54,993
Hi, everybody. We're on
location at the airport
to talk about aerodynamics.
285
00:17:55,061 --> 00:17:58,329
No, we're not.
We're here so tim can settle
a grudge with bob vila.
286
00:17:58,397 --> 00:18:00,464
In an aerodynamical
sort of way.
287
00:18:00,532 --> 00:18:04,368
Welcome to tool time's first
annual quarter-mile drags.
288
00:18:04,436 --> 00:18:08,272
Speaking of a drag, you all
know my assistant al borland.
289
00:18:08,340 --> 00:18:11,409
Our drivers today
are tim "the tool man" taylor,
290
00:18:11,476 --> 00:18:15,714
And he will be driving
a 1933 ford roadster.
291
00:18:15,781 --> 00:18:18,683
And driving one of the
premier coupes of our time,
292
00:18:18,751 --> 00:18:22,653
Is one of the premier tool men
of our time, bob vila.
293
00:18:22,722 --> 00:18:24,723
I'll wait for you
at the finish line.
294
00:18:24,790 --> 00:18:26,791
I'll be there with
your second-place trophy.
295
00:18:26,859 --> 00:18:29,627
I doubt that.
Good luck, guys.
296
00:18:29,695 --> 00:18:32,130
I don't need luck,
I just need my car to start.
297
00:18:32,198 --> 00:18:35,333
Heidi, my helmet, please.
Here you go, tim.
298
00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:37,235
Thank you.
You're welcome.
299
00:18:40,740 --> 00:18:42,140
(engine starts)
300
00:19:17,009 --> 00:19:19,844
Go, tim!
Gee, he's really
keeping up with him.
301
00:19:36,528 --> 00:19:39,864
Honey, you ok?
Sure.
302
00:19:39,932 --> 00:19:42,066
Don't just stand there,
grab a rag.
303
00:19:43,769 --> 00:19:46,370
You seem to be taking this
loss to bob vila pretty well.
304
00:19:46,438 --> 00:19:49,274
Maybe I don't
think it's a loss.
305
00:19:49,341 --> 00:19:51,976
I like it when you're deluded.
You're much easier to deal with.
306
00:19:54,346 --> 00:19:56,948
I'm just saying I think
I could have beat him.
307
00:19:57,016 --> 00:19:59,017
How do you mean that?
308
00:19:59,084 --> 00:20:03,587
We were neck and neck.
If I'd pushed it to the redline,
I could've gone right by him.
309
00:20:03,655 --> 00:20:06,457
Why didn't you?
Well, honey,
it's a new motor.
310
00:20:06,525 --> 00:20:09,393
I didn't break it in.
I didn't want to risk
blowing the thing up.
311
00:20:10,495 --> 00:20:12,496
Are you saying
you let him win?
312
00:20:12,564 --> 00:20:14,032
I'm saying bob
bought his hot rod.
313
00:20:14,099 --> 00:20:16,434
I put three years into this,
I built this thing.
314
00:20:16,501 --> 00:20:19,237
I'm not gonna risk wrecking it
over some stupid race.
315
00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:23,474
I'm real proud of you.
316
00:20:23,542 --> 00:20:24,709
Well, you know
what they say.
317
00:20:24,776 --> 00:20:27,745
"spare the rod,
to heck with bob."
318
00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:37,822
You are getting very
mature in your old age.
319
00:20:37,890 --> 00:20:41,392
Ah, you can't stay
young forever, honey.
320
00:20:41,460 --> 00:20:43,661
Hey. What do you say...
321
00:20:43,729 --> 00:20:47,298
We pop ourselves
into the rumble seat
and make out like we used to?
322
00:20:47,366 --> 00:20:49,700
Cool.
323
00:20:49,768 --> 00:20:51,936
Let's see here.
324
00:20:52,004 --> 00:20:54,405
All right.
325
00:20:54,473 --> 00:20:56,707
Wait a minute.
I gotta spit out my gum.
326
00:22:41,046 --> 00:22:44,148
You are getting very
mature in your old age.
327
00:22:44,216 --> 00:22:48,086
Ah, you can't stay
young forever, honey.
That's true.
328
00:22:48,153 --> 00:22:52,056
Hey, what do you say
we hop ourselves into the...