1 00:00:02,135 --> 00:00:05,502 The trick is, l towel-dry my hair first, 2 00:00:05,572 --> 00:00:08,473 wait about five minutes, and then l put on the mousse. 3 00:00:08,541 --> 00:00:11,635 Brad, you've been on the phone for two hours. 4 00:00:11,711 --> 00:00:15,670 Yeah. l've gotta go. My mom's bugging me again. 5 00:00:15,749 --> 00:00:18,547 All right. See ya. Bye. 6 00:00:18,618 --> 00:00:22,577 You see Ashley all day at school, then you spend all afternoon on the phone. 7 00:00:22,655 --> 00:00:26,591 What could you have to say to each other? Your life is not that interesting. 8 00:00:26,659 --> 00:00:31,790 Maybe not to you. But Ashley can't get enough of my mousse stories. 9 00:00:32,665 --> 00:00:34,462 - (Tim) Hi, Jill. - Hi. 10 00:00:34,534 --> 00:00:38,095 - You won't believe what l got. - Take it back. 11 00:00:39,205 --> 00:00:41,537 Something to make your life easier. 12 00:00:41,608 --> 00:00:46,477 Binford's new universal fan-cooled central vacuum system. 13 00:00:46,546 --> 00:00:49,709 ls that one of those things where you stick the hose into the wall? 14 00:00:49,783 --> 00:00:52,616 - That'd be the one. - l have always wanted one of those. 15 00:00:52,685 --> 00:00:56,246 The biggest, the best. A Binford demo. Didn't cost me a cent. 16 00:00:56,322 --> 00:00:58,552 Take it back. 17 00:00:58,625 --> 00:01:01,458 l know what you're thinking, but installation is a breeze. 18 00:01:01,528 --> 00:01:05,157 That's what you always say, and then the breeze turns into a tornado. 19 00:01:05,231 --> 00:01:08,029 lt won't happen this time. Come on, Jill. 20 00:01:08,101 --> 00:01:09,193 (whimpers) 21 00:01:09,836 --> 00:01:12,532 Don't make that face. 22 00:01:12,605 --> 00:01:14,698 l'll keep it simple and just do one room. 23 00:01:14,774 --> 00:01:19,837 All l got to do is run a PVC tube down to the basement, attach it to the central unit. 24 00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:22,711 You swear that's all there is to it? 25 00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:27,853 Just think - no more carrying a heavy vacuum upstairs or back down the stairs. 26 00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:30,355 lt's got a flexible hose with hand controls. 27 00:01:30,423 --> 00:01:33,221 Convertible upholstery brush. 28 00:01:33,960 --> 00:01:37,487 - Crevice attachment? - Oh, yeah. 29 00:01:37,564 --> 00:01:40,533 So long and narrow, it'll suck the tonsils out of a cobra. 30 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:42,192 (makes sucking noise) 31 00:01:43,837 --> 00:01:47,136 Well, it would be nice to have a central vacuuming system. 32 00:01:47,207 --> 00:01:50,574 Yeah. Give me a week, this whole house will suck. 33 00:01:53,446 --> 00:01:54,777 (belch) 34 00:02:42,595 --> 00:02:44,586 - Hey, Mark. - Hey, Dad. What happened? 35 00:02:44,664 --> 00:02:47,792 - l'm trying to dry out the carpet pad. - How'd it get wet? 36 00:02:47,867 --> 00:02:50,097 - l made a little hole. - Where? 37 00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:53,196 ln a big water pipe. 38 00:02:53,273 --> 00:02:55,264 Holy cow! What happened? 39 00:02:55,341 --> 00:02:58,868 l ran into a little snag trying to run the wiring back in through here. 40 00:02:58,945 --> 00:03:02,711 l fixed the water pipe. l can get the floor fixed before your mom gets home. 41 00:03:02,782 --> 00:03:06,343 - (Jill) Hello! l'm home! - Or maybe not. 42 00:03:06,419 --> 00:03:08,785 - Hi, honey. - Hi. 43 00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:11,653 l thought you were at the library, working on your paper. 44 00:03:11,724 --> 00:03:14,716 l couldn't concentrate. College boys kept bothering me. 45 00:03:14,794 --> 00:03:17,558 - Were they hitting on you? - No. 46 00:03:17,630 --> 00:03:20,326 They thought l was the librarian. 47 00:03:21,067 --> 00:03:23,558 - Where you going? - l have to finish this paper. 48 00:03:23,636 --> 00:03:28,938 lf l don't get it done, l'm gonna be digging myself into a big hole. 49 00:03:29,008 --> 00:03:34,105 So you could understand how that sort of thing might happen? 50 00:03:34,180 --> 00:03:37,149 Tim, there's a giant hole in the floor. 51 00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:41,551 Oh, that's not a giant hole. The Grand Canyon would be a big hole. 52 00:03:41,621 --> 00:03:43,714 You told me the hole was gonna be this big. 53 00:03:43,790 --> 00:03:47,886 - l had to move the water pipes... - The same old story every time. 54 00:03:47,961 --> 00:03:52,398 You come up with some idiotic idea, l say no, you make a pathetic little face, 55 00:03:52,465 --> 00:03:56,663 then l give in, and before l know it, you're pulling up the floor. 56 00:03:56,736 --> 00:03:59,068 l can't even use my computer. 57 00:03:59,138 --> 00:04:02,574 Just once, l'd like to come home and find the house in one piece. 58 00:04:02,642 --> 00:04:06,976 - lt would have been but you were early. - So this is my fault? 59 00:04:07,046 --> 00:04:12,848 ln a way, yes. You'd have never known about this if you had proper study habits. 60 00:04:13,286 --> 00:04:17,086 Tim, please. Just fix the hole. Then fix the one in your head. 61 00:04:17,156 --> 00:04:19,147 (doorbell rings) 62 00:04:20,693 --> 00:04:22,058 (doorbell rings) 63 00:04:22,128 --> 00:04:24,289 l'll get it. 64 00:04:27,667 --> 00:04:29,259 - Marty? - Hey, Tim! 65 00:04:29,335 --> 00:04:31,826 - Come on in. - What are you doing? Hi. 66 00:04:31,904 --> 00:04:35,840 - What are you doing? - l'm in town on a sales trip. Thanks. 67 00:04:35,908 --> 00:04:37,375 Hey! 68 00:04:37,443 --> 00:04:38,740 - Good to see you. - You, too. 69 00:04:38,811 --> 00:04:42,474 - Honey. - (Jill) l'm not talking to you. 70 00:04:42,548 --> 00:04:44,778 - Little argument. - Uh, the hole? 71 00:04:44,851 --> 00:04:46,910 The hole, yeah. 72 00:04:47,987 --> 00:04:51,150 - Jill, my brother's here. - Danny? 73 00:04:51,224 --> 00:04:54,819 - No, the one that doesn't owe me money. - Marty! 74 00:04:54,894 --> 00:04:58,125 - Marty! How are you? - Hey, Jill. 75 00:04:58,197 --> 00:05:02,463 How's Nancy? How are those little babies? Oh, this is such a surprise! 76 00:05:02,535 --> 00:05:08,064 - Tim, you used the good towels? - l didn't want to ruin my shop towels. 77 00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:14,079 - Did l, uh, come at a bad time? - No, it's fine. Everything's fine. 78 00:05:16,082 --> 00:05:17,572 lt is. Fine. 79 00:05:17,650 --> 00:05:22,713 So, since it's fine, hop over the Grand Canyon and tell us what's happening. 80 00:05:22,789 --> 00:05:27,954 Hey, look. l'm sorry for just showing up like this. l tried calling, but the phone was dead. 81 00:05:28,027 --> 00:05:30,359 The phone is dead? 82 00:05:34,701 --> 00:05:39,138 That must have been that bunch of wires l sawed through. 83 00:05:42,508 --> 00:05:45,238 Brad, l'll tell you when. 84 00:05:45,311 --> 00:05:48,280 - l'm really glad you showed up. - You missed me, huh? 85 00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:53,411 No. lf you hadn't shown up, Jill would still be chewing me out over this little hole. 86 00:05:53,486 --> 00:05:57,786 She will not fight in front of company. So as long as you're here, she won't yell at me. 87 00:05:57,857 --> 00:06:01,384 l wish Nancy was more like that. She doesn't care who's around. 88 00:06:01,461 --> 00:06:06,592 Remember she yelled at me at Uncle Henry's memorial service? 89 00:06:06,666 --> 00:06:09,760 Marty, you lost the man's ashes. 90 00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:14,234 l didn't lose them. l got into the convertible... 91 00:06:14,307 --> 00:06:18,038 Which was your first mistake. And you're lucky l saved your butt. 92 00:06:18,111 --> 00:06:23,208 Do you know how many cigars l had to smoke to make one Uncle Henry? 93 00:06:24,717 --> 00:06:28,244 - How much longer till the water's back on? - lt'll be on in a minute. 94 00:06:28,321 --> 00:06:31,722 l'm gonna put you up in Brad's room. l'll put all the kids together. 95 00:06:31,791 --> 00:06:34,760 l wish Nancy and the twins had come. l'm dying to see 'em. 96 00:06:34,827 --> 00:06:37,022 lt's just a quick trip. 97 00:06:37,964 --> 00:06:40,125 Brad, turn the water on! 98 00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:47,866 OK, Brad. 99 00:06:47,940 --> 00:06:50,272 Brad, you got to shut it off. 100 00:06:51,744 --> 00:06:54,042 - Almost there. - Tim. 101 00:06:54,113 --> 00:06:56,809 May l, uh, speak with you privately? 102 00:06:56,883 --> 00:07:00,819 lt'd be kind of rude in front of our company, wouldn't it? 103 00:07:01,487 --> 00:07:04,479 Sure you can't stay more than a couple of days? 104 00:07:04,557 --> 00:07:05,956 Maybe a year? 105 00:07:06,659 --> 00:07:10,254 - Does everybody know what time it is? - Tool Time! 106 00:07:10,329 --> 00:07:14,993 That's right! Binford Tools is proud to present Tim ''The Tool Man'' Taylor. Whoo! 107 00:07:20,907 --> 00:07:24,775 Thank you, Heidi. Welcome to Tool Time. l am Tim ''The Tool Man'' Taylor. 108 00:07:24,844 --> 00:07:29,110 lt's always a pleasure to share the spotlight with someone special in my life. 109 00:07:29,182 --> 00:07:31,946 My brother Marty's here. 110 00:07:32,518 --> 00:07:36,420 My youngest brother Marty's here. The only brother l can still beat up. Right? 111 00:07:36,489 --> 00:07:41,722 Tim. Are you gonna introduce me, or do l have time to run to the cleaner's? 112 00:07:41,794 --> 00:07:44,092 OK, Al. 113 00:07:44,163 --> 00:07:46,961 And you all know my assistant Al Borland. 114 00:07:47,033 --> 00:07:49,160 (cheers. whistles and applause) 115 00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:55,668 Today, we will be talking about abrasives. 116 00:07:55,741 --> 00:08:00,440 That's right. Abrasives can be used from anything from your car to family heirlooms. 117 00:08:00,513 --> 00:08:02,481 - ''To family heirlooms''? - Like silver. 118 00:08:02,548 --> 00:08:03,810 - Silver? - Jewelry. 119 00:08:03,883 --> 00:08:06,215 - Jewelry? - l can go on. 120 00:08:06,285 --> 00:08:09,777 Well, you spend all the time you want polishing your family jewels. 121 00:08:09,856 --> 00:08:12,381 But we're talking about car finishes. 122 00:08:12,458 --> 00:08:14,551 We've got several hoods out here. 123 00:08:14,627 --> 00:08:18,893 Matter of fact, there's a couple of hoods backstage waiting for Al. 124 00:08:19,966 --> 00:08:23,868 He's apparently a little late on his flannel payment. 125 00:08:26,839 --> 00:08:30,275 You know, one of these days you're gonna run out of flannel jokes. 126 00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:34,643 Oh, l don't think so, Al. Not with my Complete Flannel Joke Book. 127 00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:43,883 ''Why did the flannel cross the road? 128 00:08:43,956 --> 00:08:46,151 '''Cause Al was over there. 129 00:08:46,225 --> 00:08:48,887 ''Hey, waiter, there's a fly in my flannel. 130 00:08:48,961 --> 00:08:51,794 ''Please, take my flannel.'' 131 00:08:51,864 --> 00:08:55,857 There's also the handy wallet-size version. 132 00:08:55,935 --> 00:08:58,995 ''How do you keep an idiot wearing flannel in suspense? 133 00:08:59,071 --> 00:09:01,403 ''l'll tell you tomorrow.'' 134 00:09:05,311 --> 00:09:07,575 lf the finish on your car is in good shape, 135 00:09:07,647 --> 00:09:10,047 what you need is a mild abrasive before you wax. 136 00:09:10,116 --> 00:09:12,846 We recommend Binford's 2000 Polishing Compound. 137 00:09:12,919 --> 00:09:18,448 That's right. A dab on a soft cloth, and you'll have a shine you can be proud of. 138 00:09:18,524 --> 00:09:21,652 Look! l can see myself. 139 00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:26,960 lf you want to remove oxidation you need something a bit more abrasive. 140 00:09:27,033 --> 00:09:29,627 Like a can of Tim's personality. 141 00:09:32,271 --> 00:09:36,401 Of course, a can of your personality would be empty. 142 00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:42,370 We recommend Binford's Super 2000 Rubbing Compound before polish or wax. 143 00:09:42,448 --> 00:09:47,215 Right. This surface cannot be brought back. We need to take the paint off of it. 144 00:09:47,286 --> 00:09:49,652 For that, we need something more abrasive, 145 00:09:49,722 --> 00:09:51,849 maybe an 80-grit wetdry sandpaper. 146 00:09:51,924 --> 00:09:55,018 Exactly. That'll remove your paint and you can start from there. 147 00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:59,292 But for even more abrasive things, we move on to... sandblasters. 148 00:09:59,365 --> 00:10:01,492 (Tim grunts) 149 00:10:02,635 --> 00:10:04,967 Open-shoe grinders. 150 00:10:06,138 --> 00:10:08,572 And the most abrasive of all... 151 00:10:08,641 --> 00:10:10,802 the nagging wife. 152 00:10:18,317 --> 00:10:21,650 - What did you think of Tool Time today? - Oh, it was great. 153 00:10:21,721 --> 00:10:26,283 But only in this country could a goof-off like you get his own TV show. 154 00:10:26,359 --> 00:10:28,452 God bless America, huh? 155 00:10:28,527 --> 00:10:31,087 - Want something to drink? - A beer would be great. 156 00:10:31,163 --> 00:10:33,688 - Hey, how's it going, Tool Man? - Hey, Paul. 157 00:10:33,766 --> 00:10:35,495 Two cold ones. 158 00:10:35,568 --> 00:10:38,594 l'm not sure Jill's gonna be crazy about that abrasive bit. 159 00:10:38,671 --> 00:10:41,902 l save the bits that'll make her mad for when she's already mad. 160 00:10:41,974 --> 00:10:45,466 - That way, l can't lose. - You're always thinking. 161 00:10:45,544 --> 00:10:48,911 l had that abrasive bit worked out weeks ago, but we're getting along, 162 00:10:48,981 --> 00:10:50,539 l couldn't use it. 163 00:10:50,616 --> 00:10:53,915 So, uh... you and Jill fight a lot? 164 00:10:54,420 --> 00:10:58,652 - Depends what you mean by ''a lot.'' - How about all day, every day? 165 00:10:58,724 --> 00:11:01,386 That would be a lot. 166 00:11:01,460 --> 00:11:03,655 - You talking about you and Nance? - Yeah. 167 00:11:03,729 --> 00:11:06,698 Seems like ever since we had the babies all we do is fight. 168 00:11:06,766 --> 00:11:09,564 Good shot. lt's only been six months. Give it a chance. 169 00:11:09,635 --> 00:11:12,331 When Brad was born, l had to make a lot of adjustments. 170 00:11:12,405 --> 00:11:15,465 l had to wait in line for Jill to give me a bath. 171 00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:21,241 When l get home, l don't even get a ''Hello.'' 172 00:11:21,313 --> 00:11:25,716 l didn't care if she said hello, l just wanted my bath. 173 00:11:25,785 --> 00:11:28,345 Nice shot. 174 00:11:28,421 --> 00:11:32,152 - lt's that old dart injury l have. - Yeah. Old dart injury! 175 00:11:32,224 --> 00:11:35,523 No, l'm serious, you know. l come in from work, 176 00:11:35,594 --> 00:11:38,961 Nancy throws me the babies and says she needs a break. 177 00:11:39,031 --> 00:11:41,761 Get used to it. Having twins is a lot of work. 178 00:11:41,834 --> 00:11:47,739 l mean, just breastfeeding them's got to leave her feeling drained. 179 00:11:47,807 --> 00:11:51,402 - Remember that Cyclone ride? - Oh, l loved that Cyclone. 180 00:11:51,477 --> 00:11:53,877 l loved it. You couldn't stand it. 181 00:11:53,946 --> 00:11:56,346 l feel like l'm on it now. 182 00:11:56,415 --> 00:11:59,907 l swear, you know, my life just feels totally out of control. 183 00:11:59,985 --> 00:12:03,978 Ever since we had the kids, it seems like everything's fallen apart. 184 00:12:04,056 --> 00:12:06,286 You saying you wish you didn't have the kids? 185 00:12:06,358 --> 00:12:10,385 l don't know. l just know Nancy and l got no relationship anymore. 186 00:12:10,463 --> 00:12:13,694 - lt's not that bad. - lt's pretty bad. 187 00:12:13,766 --> 00:12:16,667 How bad? 188 00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:19,261 l'm thinking of leaving her. 189 00:12:19,338 --> 00:12:22,933 - What? Are you crazy? - lt wasn't supposed to be like this. 190 00:12:23,008 --> 00:12:26,500 - lt was meant to be leaving your family? - l've done a lot of thinking. 191 00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:29,980 Think about this. You're gonna go home, grow up, and act like a man. 192 00:12:30,049 --> 00:12:33,041 - Don't tell me what to do. - You're acting like an idiot. 193 00:12:33,119 --> 00:12:36,452 - Don't call me an idiot. - But you're running out on your family. 194 00:12:36,522 --> 00:12:40,322 This is just like you. You never commit to anything. Remember Boy Scouts? 195 00:12:40,392 --> 00:12:43,759 You're comparing my marriage to the Boy Scouts? l don't need this. 196 00:12:43,829 --> 00:12:48,198 - l thought you'd be the one to understand. - l understand you're being selfish. 197 00:12:48,267 --> 00:12:50,929 The hell with you. l don't need this. Here. 198 00:12:51,003 --> 00:12:54,666 - Thanks. Thanks a lot. - That's not gonna cover the beers. 199 00:12:54,740 --> 00:12:56,731 Come on, Marty! 200 00:12:56,809 --> 00:13:00,802 You gonna run out on me like your family? You gutless loser! 201 00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:03,371 And he's the brother l like! 202 00:13:14,827 --> 00:13:17,955 Hey, Mom, when are we gonna eat? l'm starving. 203 00:13:18,030 --> 00:13:22,160 Your dad and Uncle Marty are bringing home pizza. They should be back soon. 204 00:13:22,234 --> 00:13:25,465 Ever since you went back to school you've hardly cooked anything. 205 00:13:25,538 --> 00:13:28,200 Yeah, l'm sorry. lt's been really hectic. 206 00:13:28,274 --> 00:13:31,141 l wasn't complaining. 207 00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:38,973 - So, what are you studying? - Randy. 208 00:13:39,051 --> 00:13:42,077 l came outside because l wanted you guys to stop bothering me. 209 00:13:42,154 --> 00:13:44,816 l gotta get this paper for my psych class written. 210 00:13:44,890 --> 00:13:47,984 - What's it on? - Mood disorders. 211 00:13:49,461 --> 00:13:51,793 You should do very well. 212 00:13:54,567 --> 00:13:57,661 Mom, l thought you said Dad fixed the telephone. 213 00:13:57,736 --> 00:14:00,170 Honey, l'm working here. 214 00:14:00,239 --> 00:14:04,107 l'm sorry. But l was talking to Ashley and we kept getting disconnected. 215 00:14:04,176 --> 00:14:07,634 She lives around the corner. Just go over there. 216 00:14:07,713 --> 00:14:12,013 - How long can l stay? - Till one of us graduates. 217 00:14:13,018 --> 00:14:14,849 Cool. 218 00:14:17,356 --> 00:14:20,553 - Where's the pizza? - Pizza? 219 00:14:20,626 --> 00:14:22,958 lt's... lt's being delivered. 220 00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:26,964 You forgot the pizza. 221 00:14:27,032 --> 00:14:28,829 - Marty's fault. - Where's Marty? 222 00:14:28,901 --> 00:14:31,927 - l don't know. - You forgot the pizza and Marty. 223 00:14:32,404 --> 00:14:35,373 After Tool Time, we went to Big Mike's to have a beer. 224 00:14:35,441 --> 00:14:39,741 We started talking. He's thinking about leaving Nancy. 225 00:14:39,812 --> 00:14:43,441 - What? - Said their relationship had deteriorated. 226 00:14:43,515 --> 00:14:46,416 l don't think he knows whether he's coming or going. 227 00:14:46,485 --> 00:14:51,047 - Oh, my God. Nancy must be devastated. - He hasn't told her yet. 228 00:14:51,123 --> 00:14:54,684 - He told you before he told her? - l'm the only one that knows. 229 00:14:54,760 --> 00:15:00,426 Me and everyone at Big Mike's. Put a big crimp in happy hour, l'll tell you that. 230 00:15:01,367 --> 00:15:05,326 - Did you try and talk him out of it? - Of course l tried to talk him out of it. 231 00:15:05,404 --> 00:15:08,373 - Told him you don't bail out and run away. - That was good. 232 00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:12,934 You just admit your life is over and take it like a man. 233 00:15:15,014 --> 00:15:18,006 - ''Your life is over''? - Yeah... 234 00:15:20,052 --> 00:15:22,486 The bad part of it's over. 235 00:15:22,554 --> 00:15:25,523 The good part of it is just beginning. 236 00:15:26,458 --> 00:15:30,019 - l hope Marty's OK. - He'll be all right. He just needs to cool off. 237 00:15:30,095 --> 00:15:33,064 When he comes home, you should have him talk to me. 238 00:15:33,132 --> 00:15:35,657 No, he's my brother. He's my problem. 239 00:15:35,734 --> 00:15:38,532 When you marry somebody, you marry their whole family. 240 00:15:38,604 --> 00:15:40,629 What would you do if my sister was in trouble? 241 00:15:40,706 --> 00:15:43,038 Run like the wind. 242 00:15:52,518 --> 00:15:54,713 (humming) 243 00:15:54,787 --> 00:16:00,692 - Hey, Wilson. What are you doing? - Tim, l'm pondering my Bonseki. 244 00:16:00,759 --> 00:16:04,559 lsn't it funny how guys never get tired of doing that? 245 00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:06,393 (chuckles) 246 00:16:06,465 --> 00:16:07,955 No, no, no, no, no, Tim. 247 00:16:08,033 --> 00:16:12,800 A Bonseki is a miniature Japanese rock garden. 248 00:16:12,871 --> 00:16:15,806 - Wow. Let me see. - Don't touch it. 249 00:16:15,874 --> 00:16:19,605 Zen Buddhists believe that by contemplating its tiny landscape 250 00:16:19,678 --> 00:16:22,977 one can achieve greater understanding. 251 00:16:23,048 --> 00:16:27,382 Maybe it'll help me understand what's wrong with my brother. We had a fight. 252 00:16:27,453 --> 00:16:30,684 Really? l thought you two got along rather well. 253 00:16:30,756 --> 00:16:35,455 Oh, we usually do. When my dad died, he was only one, l was 1 1 . 254 00:16:35,527 --> 00:16:38,087 Mom went back to work so l took care of him a lot. 255 00:16:38,163 --> 00:16:42,725 - Hm. That's a lot of responsibility. - Yeah. lt was a lot of good times, too. 256 00:16:42,801 --> 00:16:48,501 l taught him how to do all sorts of stuff - hawk a loogie, shoot a spit wad. 257 00:16:48,574 --> 00:16:51,566 Boy, no one teaches spitwad shooting better than me. 258 00:16:51,643 --> 00:16:55,977 Well, l'm aware of that. Your boys have launched a few wet ones over my way. 259 00:16:56,048 --> 00:17:00,144 Taught him how to ride his bike, drive his first car. 260 00:17:00,219 --> 00:17:03,882 So what you're saying is you were part father, part brother. 261 00:17:03,956 --> 00:17:06,618 Yeah. Kinda like a ''frother.'' 262 00:17:09,228 --> 00:17:13,858 l'm afraid Marty's about to make a big mistake and there's nothing l can do. 263 00:17:13,932 --> 00:17:16,366 - You wish you could do something. - Yeah. 264 00:17:16,435 --> 00:17:18,903 l spent most of my life taking care of him. 265 00:17:18,971 --> 00:17:21,940 The Roman orator Appius Claudius Caecus once said 266 00:17:22,007 --> 00:17:25,602 that every man is the architect of his own fortune. 267 00:17:25,677 --> 00:17:28,510 Now, Marty is a man. He's not a boy anymore. 268 00:17:29,248 --> 00:17:31,682 When he was a kid, he'd listen to me anytime l wanted. 269 00:17:31,750 --> 00:17:36,483 All l had to do was tie him to a tree and pour root beer on his pointed little head. 270 00:17:36,555 --> 00:17:41,891 Tim, l think what your brother needs is for you to be a brother and a friend. 271 00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:45,123 lnstead of a ''frother,'' more of a ''briend.'' 272 00:17:46,131 --> 00:17:49,191 - ln a manner of speaking. - Night, Wilson. 273 00:17:49,268 --> 00:17:52,635 - Sayonara, Tim. - Uh, marinara to you, too. 274 00:17:56,375 --> 00:17:58,639 - Hey, Marty. - l just came to get my stuff. 275 00:17:58,710 --> 00:18:00,871 - Marty, stick around. - Why? 276 00:18:00,946 --> 00:18:02,971 You want to rip into me some more? 277 00:18:03,048 --> 00:18:07,144 - Look, l'm sorry l did that at the bar, OK? - You made it real clear how you feel. 278 00:18:07,219 --> 00:18:10,211 l've had time to think about it. l think we should talk. 279 00:18:10,289 --> 00:18:14,123 Stick around, have something to drink? What do you want? 280 00:18:14,193 --> 00:18:16,559 Anything but root beer. 281 00:18:19,364 --> 00:18:24,461 l guess we're past me tying you up and pouring root beer on your head, huh? 282 00:18:24,536 --> 00:18:27,505 lt's like the Roman guy Apricot said: 283 00:18:29,274 --> 00:18:32,675 ''lf you roam around with architects, buy rocks, put 'em in the sand, 284 00:18:32,744 --> 00:18:35,406 ''and you'll understand.'' 285 00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:40,449 Let me think about that. 286 00:18:40,519 --> 00:18:42,987 Where'd you go after the bar? 287 00:18:43,055 --> 00:18:46,650 Ah. l waited outside for you to leave, then l ducked back in. 288 00:18:46,725 --> 00:18:49,819 You know - had a beer, ate a sandwich. 289 00:18:49,895 --> 00:18:52,864 Counted the flies on the pest strip. 290 00:18:52,931 --> 00:18:54,831 (both) 43. 291 00:18:56,435 --> 00:18:59,529 l used to take care of things for you. l can't do that anymore. 292 00:18:59,605 --> 00:19:02,267 l wasn't asking you to take care of anything. 293 00:19:02,341 --> 00:19:03,933 l want... 294 00:19:04,009 --> 00:19:08,070 - l just wanted you to listen. - Fair enough. Good. 295 00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:11,310 l'm listening. Tell me what's going on. 296 00:19:12,518 --> 00:19:15,612 Nancy and l don't have any time together anymore. 297 00:19:15,687 --> 00:19:20,556 l knew raising the twins was gonna be hard, but l didn't know it'd be like this. 298 00:19:20,626 --> 00:19:24,426 She and l used to reach for each other in the middle of the night. 299 00:19:24,496 --> 00:19:26,657 Now we're reaching for the babies. 300 00:19:26,732 --> 00:19:30,429 Little brother, this is real common. Everybody goes through this. 301 00:19:30,502 --> 00:19:34,233 When you were first dating and first got married, you grabbed for each other. 302 00:19:34,306 --> 00:19:37,298 Once you have kids, it's the end of that tune. 303 00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:41,241 There hasn't been any music in our house in six months. 304 00:19:41,313 --> 00:19:42,837 Whoa. 305 00:19:42,915 --> 00:19:44,678 Yeah. Tell me about it. 306 00:19:44,750 --> 00:19:47,446 No wonder you're so cranky. 307 00:19:52,057 --> 00:19:54,048 l know it feels like the band packed up, 308 00:19:54,126 --> 00:19:58,756 but once the kids grow up a little bit more, there's much more time for you and Nancy. 309 00:19:58,830 --> 00:20:04,097 - You're saying the band will come back? - Maybe not all of the band. 310 00:20:04,169 --> 00:20:09,573 But at this point, you're probably happy with a kazoo and a whistle. 311 00:20:12,678 --> 00:20:14,737 You're saying things are gonna get better? 312 00:20:14,813 --> 00:20:17,805 There's no guarantees, but things got better for Jill and l. 313 00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:20,511 But you're telling me l shouldn't leave. 314 00:20:20,586 --> 00:20:26,218 l'm not gonna tell you that. l can't do this. You gotta make your own decision here. 315 00:20:26,291 --> 00:20:29,055 l can't imagine my life without Nancy. 316 00:20:29,127 --> 00:20:32,563 l can't imagine any other woman havin' ya. 317 00:20:33,565 --> 00:20:35,533 l hate the idea of leaving the kids. 318 00:20:35,601 --> 00:20:40,800 When they're not puking and pooping, they're really cute. 319 00:20:40,872 --> 00:20:43,773 They do grow out of that, you know. 320 00:20:43,842 --> 00:20:46,675 Help me fix the distributor on the hot rod, will you? 321 00:20:46,745 --> 00:20:52,240 l'm looking forward to the day l pick up one of the kids and nothing gooey shoots out. 322 00:20:52,317 --> 00:20:54,649 You gotta wait a while. 323 00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:56,915 But then it gets fun. They walk, they talk. 324 00:20:56,989 --> 00:21:00,083 You can roughhouse with 'em. Teach 'em to be guys like us. 325 00:21:00,158 --> 00:21:02,149 Tim. They're girls. 326 00:21:02,761 --> 00:21:04,922 Are they? 327 00:21:07,132 --> 00:21:09,965 - They're awful hairy for girls. - Hey, hey, hey, hey. 328 00:21:10,035 --> 00:21:13,562 Well, then, teach them how to stay away from guys like us. 329 00:21:13,639 --> 00:21:18,008 - Don't want 'em around guys like us. - You don't want around guys like us. 330 00:21:18,076 --> 00:21:21,568 - lt'd be no good. - No good. Break this thing, l'll kill you. 331 00:21:25,017 --> 00:21:27,042 (Jill) Well! 332 00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:31,954 l finally finished my paper in peace and quiet. Wilson let me do it over at his house. 333 00:21:32,024 --> 00:21:35,619 lf you were really smart, you'd have let him write it. 334 00:21:36,628 --> 00:21:40,120 - Did Marty call? - Yup. He sounded pretty good, too. 335 00:21:40,198 --> 00:21:44,294 lt's a struggle when you're starting out. Remember those fights we use to have? 336 00:21:44,369 --> 00:21:47,668 Who could forget yesterday? 337 00:21:47,739 --> 00:21:51,835 Yeah, but we know that you're not leaving me and l'm not leaving you. 338 00:21:51,910 --> 00:21:55,073 So you forgive me for putting a hole in the floor? 339 00:21:55,147 --> 00:22:00,244 - That depends. Does the vacuum work? - (scos) ''Does the vacuum work?'' 340 00:22:00,319 --> 00:22:02,719 Watch this. 341 00:22:03,355 --> 00:22:05,346 (switches vacuum on) 342 00:22:09,661 --> 00:22:11,652 (switches vacuum o 343 00:22:16,401 --> 00:22:18,335 (mouths) 344 00:22:27,746 --> 00:22:30,647 You should always back up your work. 345 00:22:33,919 --> 00:22:37,286 What we recommend is Binford's Super-Duper... 346 00:22:42,094 --> 00:22:44,062 Watch this. 347 00:22:44,129 --> 00:22:46,563 (switches vacuum on)