1
00:00:03,136 --> 00:00:06,003
All right. Our next gadget
here on Gadget Corner
2
00:00:06,072 --> 00:00:09,132
is a car safety device
known as the Snooze No More.
3
00:00:09,209 --> 00:00:14,078
That's right. Stick this little bad boy in
your ear like this, adjust it for your level,
4
00:00:14,147 --> 00:00:16,672
and when you're driving
you won't go to sleep.
5
00:00:16,750 --> 00:00:18,411
(gadget beeps)
6
00:00:21,087 --> 00:00:25,148
lt's also good when Aunt Agnes stops by
to talk about her kidney stone operation.
7
00:00:25,225 --> 00:00:27,216
Uh-huh. Was it painful?
8
00:00:27,293 --> 00:00:29,591
(gadget beeps)
9
00:00:29,662 --> 00:00:31,926
Did you save any of the stones?
10
00:00:31,998 --> 00:00:34,262
- (beep)
- All right. Next up on...
11
00:00:34,334 --> 00:00:37,599
You can videotape that,
watch it backwards. They put it back in.
12
00:00:37,670 --> 00:00:40,002
(beep)
13
00:00:40,073 --> 00:00:43,338
- l'm sure you'll like our next gadget, the...
- (beeps)
14
00:00:43,410 --> 00:00:46,402
(continuous beep )
15
00:00:50,316 --> 00:00:51,647
(beep stops)
16
00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:55,745
- All right. Our next gadget here on...
- (beep resumes)
17
00:00:55,822 --> 00:00:58,154
...on Gadget Corner...
18
00:01:01,795 --> 00:01:03,524
(beep stops)
19
00:01:04,597 --> 00:01:08,328
All right. Say your boots are sopping wet
from a rainstorm at the job site.
20
00:01:08,401 --> 00:01:11,734
- Come home, what do you do?
- Go to Binford's electric boot dryer.
21
00:01:11,805 --> 00:01:15,866
Let's show how it works.
Heidi, wet boots, please.
22
00:01:16,976 --> 00:01:21,470
These boots have been sitting in this
scalding hot brine solution for two days.
23
00:01:21,548 --> 00:01:23,880
Whoo! These babies are wet.
24
00:01:23,950 --> 00:01:25,247
- Tim.
- Yeah?
25
00:01:25,318 --> 00:01:29,379
- Where'd you get those boots?
- Out of your locker.
26
00:01:29,456 --> 00:01:32,789
- Those are my dress work boots.
- Yeah, a word to the wise, Al.
27
00:01:32,859 --> 00:01:37,228
Always lock your locker on Gadget Day.
But in one minute, they'll be dry as a bone.
28
00:01:37,297 --> 00:01:41,791
l don't think so. Binford's
electric boot dryer takes overnight to work.
29
00:01:41,868 --> 00:01:46,168
That's before l gave it a 5000 watt boost.
Watch this.
30
00:01:46,239 --> 00:01:48,366
My boots are smoking!
31
00:01:48,441 --> 00:01:52,775
That's probably because they're on fire.
Put them in the water, quick!
32
00:01:52,846 --> 00:01:55,781
Oh, well, now they're all wet a--
Ah, jeez.
33
00:01:55,849 --> 00:01:58,818
Now it's time to use
the boot dryer again.
34
00:01:58,885 --> 00:02:01,877
This could be
a very long show at this rate.
35
00:02:57,310 --> 00:03:00,143
- Hey, good job, Dad.
- Thank you, son.
36
00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:14,190
Timihana!
37
00:03:15,228 --> 00:03:17,219
- Hello.
- How was school?
38
00:03:17,297 --> 00:03:20,266
lt was great. l got my first A!
39
00:03:20,333 --> 00:03:21,425
Cool!
40
00:03:21,501 --> 00:03:24,902
Congratulations.
Well, that goes on the refrigerator.
41
00:03:24,971 --> 00:03:26,700
No. No, Tim.
42
00:03:26,773 --> 00:03:29,571
This is a paper on abnormal sexuality.
43
00:03:31,344 --> 00:03:33,471
Put it up in the bedroom.
44
00:03:35,081 --> 00:03:38,050
We don't need it.
45
00:03:38,117 --> 00:03:41,109
Not only did l get an A,
l got the highest grade in the class.
46
00:03:41,187 --> 00:03:45,521
Everybody really is mad at me
because l wrecked the curve. l love school.
47
00:03:45,592 --> 00:03:48,527
l'm very proud of you.
Your first A.
48
00:03:48,595 --> 00:03:50,927
l'm still waiting for mine.
49
00:03:50,997 --> 00:03:53,898
- (phone rings)
- l'll get it.
50
00:03:53,967 --> 00:03:55,195
Hello?
51
00:03:55,268 --> 00:03:58,669
Oh, hi, Al.
Yeah, he's right here.
52
00:03:59,672 --> 00:04:03,335
- Don't tie up the line, l'm waiting for a call.
- l own the line.
53
00:04:03,409 --> 00:04:05,172
Hi, Al. What's up?
54
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:08,043
Really? That's too bad, Al.
lt really is.
55
00:04:08,114 --> 00:04:10,480
l know how much the guy meant to you.
56
00:04:10,550 --> 00:04:13,041
Wow, that's weird.
That really is weird.
57
00:04:13,119 --> 00:04:16,611
No, don't worry about tomorrow.
l got it covered. l can do it myself.
58
00:04:16,689 --> 00:04:19,749
OK, take as much time as you want.
Thanks. Bye.
59
00:04:19,826 --> 00:04:23,523
- What happened?
- Al's favorite bingo caller died.
60
00:04:28,034 --> 00:04:29,729
Oh, no.
61
00:04:29,802 --> 00:04:36,139
Al said his last words were, ''B-1 1 and G...
l think l'm having a heart attack.''
62
00:04:36,209 --> 00:04:38,143
- Oh, that's awful.
- Yeah.
63
00:04:38,211 --> 00:04:42,079
Worse than that,
Al was one away from bingo.
64
00:04:42,148 --> 00:04:43,342
Dad,
65
00:04:43,416 --> 00:04:48,285
since Al's not going to be there tomorrow,
do you think l could be your assistant?
66
00:04:48,354 --> 00:04:50,549
- You mean, you take Al's place?
- Yeah.
67
00:04:50,623 --> 00:04:54,719
l mean, l know a lot about tools,
and l can say, ''l don't think so, Tim.''
68
00:04:56,396 --> 00:05:00,025
- What about school?
- l'd only miss a couple of classes.
69
00:05:00,099 --> 00:05:05,469
lt's in the afternoon. Would you miss
the important ones? You know, like shop?
70
00:05:05,538 --> 00:05:08,268
Nah, just history and math.
71
00:05:08,341 --> 00:05:12,937
- ln that case, all right, yeah.
- All right.
72
00:05:15,381 --> 00:05:18,316
OK. First thing is Heidi introduces us,
73
00:05:18,384 --> 00:05:21,478
then we tell 'em it's Craft Week,
then we begin the project.
74
00:05:21,554 --> 00:05:24,887
But the best part is
l get to use the scroll saw all by myself.
75
00:05:24,957 --> 00:05:29,257
No, no, no, no. Best part is, l get
to work side by side with my eldest boy.
76
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:32,890
- Tool Dad, Tool Son.
- (both grunt)
77
00:05:32,965 --> 00:05:34,899
- Now...
- (loud rock music)
78
00:05:34,967 --> 00:05:36,127
Hey, hey, hey!
79
00:05:36,202 --> 00:05:38,762
Could you please turn that junk down?
80
00:05:38,838 --> 00:05:41,432
(turns music o
lt's not junk, it's heavy metal.
81
00:05:41,507 --> 00:05:45,603
Are they banging their heads on their
guitars while getting their teeth drilled?
82
00:05:45,678 --> 00:05:47,976
Hey, cool.
You saw the video.
83
00:05:50,983 --> 00:05:55,079
Randy, stop bothering us. We're trying
to prepare for tomorrow's Tool Time
84
00:05:55,154 --> 00:05:57,452
- What do you mean, ''we''?
- Al won't be there.
85
00:05:57,523 --> 00:06:00,151
- So l'm gonna be Dad's new assistant.
- You?
86
00:06:00,226 --> 00:06:03,389
Yeah. And not only that,
l get to hang out with Heidi.
87
00:06:03,463 --> 00:06:06,159
l'll probably get her phone number.
88
00:06:06,966 --> 00:06:10,094
Back the hormones up.
89
00:06:10,169 --> 00:06:13,195
l don't want to bring the fire department in
to hose you down.
90
00:06:13,272 --> 00:06:17,538
No big deal for them.
They're usually there anyway.
91
00:06:18,611 --> 00:06:20,602
(siren wailing)
92
00:06:28,121 --> 00:06:30,681
Hey, quit playing with my basketball.
93
00:06:30,757 --> 00:06:33,157
- Why? You're not.
- Well, l am now.
94
00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:36,720
So, did you hear
Brad's gonna be on Tool Time?
95
00:06:36,796 --> 00:06:40,254
Yeah, they're doing a salute to doofuses.
96
00:06:42,268 --> 00:06:44,736
Who'd want to be
on that stupid show anyway?
97
00:06:45,271 --> 00:06:48,763
- Well, l would.
- Forget about it.
98
00:06:48,841 --> 00:06:51,867
The only one who'll
ever get to be on that show is Brad.
99
00:06:51,944 --> 00:06:54,344
Dad picks him to do everything.
100
00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:56,814
Dad does a lot of things with me, too.
101
00:06:56,883 --> 00:06:59,215
Oh, shut up.
102
00:07:00,586 --> 00:07:04,044
l don't know. l think Dad
will let me be on Tool Time someday.
103
00:07:04,123 --> 00:07:06,683
Yeah, well, don't hold your breath.
104
00:07:07,693 --> 00:07:10,662
On second thought,
hold your breath.
105
00:07:12,999 --> 00:07:17,197
We'll be using a number nine
medium-tooth blade in our scroll saw.
106
00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:19,670
Oh, man. l'm gonna be awesome.
107
00:07:22,041 --> 00:07:23,338
Hi, Brad.
108
00:07:23,409 --> 00:07:25,741
Oh, uh, hi, Hodi. Um...
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00:07:27,313 --> 00:07:29,781
Ho, Heidi.
110
00:07:29,849 --> 00:07:31,840
l mean, hi, Heidi.
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00:07:31,918 --> 00:07:34,079
You nervous about being on Tool Time?
112
00:07:34,153 --> 00:07:37,054
Um... Tool Time?
113
00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:39,683
Oh! Oh, yeah. That's it.
114
00:07:39,759 --> 00:07:42,489
There's a trick l use
to calm myself down before a show.
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00:07:42,562 --> 00:07:46,726
l just picture everybody
in their underwear.
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00:07:49,902 --> 00:07:53,963
- l don't think that's gonna work.
- You'll be fine.
117
00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:55,940
- Almost ready to go, Heidi?
- Yeah.
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00:07:56,008 --> 00:07:59,409
Little nervous? Use a little trick
l use to calm myself down.
119
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,811
Just picture everybody naked.
120
00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:08,215
- Does everybody know what time it is?
- Tool Time!
121
00:08:08,287 --> 00:08:14,283
That's right. Now here he is, the star
of the show, Tim ''The Tool Man'' Taylor!
122
00:08:15,228 --> 00:08:18,755
Thank you, Heidi. Thank you, everybody.
Welcome to Tool Time
123
00:08:18,831 --> 00:08:22,631
l am Tim ''The Tool Man'' Taylor,
and we have a special treat for you today.
124
00:08:22,702 --> 00:08:24,761
Al's not here!
125
00:08:24,837 --> 00:08:26,600
(audience groans)
126
00:08:26,672 --> 00:08:28,867
Hey, pal, sit back down!
127
00:08:29,642 --> 00:08:32,236
Got a special guest assistant for you.
128
00:08:32,311 --> 00:08:35,769
l want you to give a big, warm
Tool Time welcome to my oldest boy,
129
00:08:35,848 --> 00:08:38,180
Brad ''The Tool Boy'' Taylor!
130
00:08:44,790 --> 00:08:46,815
- Hi, everyone.
- (man) Hi.
131
00:08:46,893 --> 00:08:51,887
Well, it's Craft Week here on Tool Time.
and we're doing our salute...
132
00:08:51,964 --> 00:08:56,833
to scroll saws. We're gonna show you
how to use a Binford 61 00 scroll saw.
133
00:08:56,903 --> 00:08:59,497
Brad, why don't you tell us
what a scroll saw can do?
134
00:08:59,572 --> 00:09:02,200
lt's used for cutting out
intricate patterns in wood.
135
00:09:02,275 --> 00:09:06,609
Right. You can cut out intricate patterns
in coat racks, hat racks, pipe racks,
136
00:09:06,679 --> 00:09:09,204
- or Tyrannosaurus racks.
- (roar sound eect)
137
00:09:14,487 --> 00:09:16,614
What manly design are you cutting out?
138
00:09:16,689 --> 00:09:19,351
A heart for my girlfriend Ashley.
139
00:09:19,425 --> 00:09:22,155
Can't get much more manly than that.
140
00:09:22,995 --> 00:09:26,829
l've already traced my design onto
a piece of three-quarter-inch clear pine.
141
00:09:26,899 --> 00:09:29,732
Right. Heidi, the clear pine, please.
142
00:09:31,103 --> 00:09:33,833
- Here you go, Brad.
- Hank you, Theidi. Um...
143
00:09:36,042 --> 00:09:38,374
l mean, thank you, Heidi.
144
00:09:42,214 --> 00:09:44,409
Could we?
145
00:09:44,483 --> 00:09:46,974
- Sorry, Dad.
- Goggles.
146
00:09:47,486 --> 00:09:51,286
Now, we'll be using a number nine
medium-tooth blade in our scroll saw.
147
00:09:51,357 --> 00:09:52,415
Right.
148
00:09:52,491 --> 00:09:57,053
Welcome to the Scroll Saw Grand Prix,
starring championship driver Brad Taylor.
149
00:09:57,129 --> 00:10:01,498
He was in pole position at his first cut.
He keeps his fingers away from the blade,
150
00:10:01,567 --> 00:10:04,502
on the advice of his crew chief
''Three Fingers'' Morgan.
151
00:10:04,570 --> 00:10:07,539
A lousy crew chief but a great bowler.
152
00:10:08,975 --> 00:10:12,706
Around that corner, there's no one
near him. Can he hold it? We don't know.
153
00:10:12,778 --> 00:10:15,406
Watch this, for the grand...
(makes engine noises)
154
00:10:15,481 --> 00:10:17,540
Watch out! The finish line...
155
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:19,949
Checkered flag!
156
00:10:23,022 --> 00:10:25,957
- Good work.
- Thanks, Dad.
157
00:10:26,025 --> 00:10:30,086
Watching that, l'm thinking maybe l'll make
Mom a heart instead of a pipe rack.
158
00:10:30,162 --> 00:10:32,153
Aren't you gonna trace your design?
159
00:10:32,231 --> 00:10:36,668
Son, you been scrolling as long as l have,
you don't need to waste time tracing.
160
00:10:36,736 --> 00:10:39,102
- l want you to be my commentator.
- All right.
161
00:10:39,171 --> 00:10:43,938
Welcome to the Scroll Saw 500.
Tim Taylor's at the wheel.
162
00:10:44,010 --> 00:10:48,174
Uh-oh! All the other scrollers
are leaving the track!
163
00:10:48,247 --> 00:10:51,182
They're afraid for their lives!
164
00:10:51,250 --> 00:10:53,548
Now, the race is up to Tim Taylor.
165
00:10:53,619 --> 00:10:57,419
All he has to do is finish the heart
and the victory's his.
166
00:10:57,490 --> 00:11:02,894
Now, let me tell you, l bet my dad's
gonna make a great-looking heart.
167
00:11:02,962 --> 00:11:05,362
He's at the finish line.
168
00:11:05,431 --> 00:11:07,763
ls it great?
169
00:11:12,104 --> 00:11:14,402
Um, Dad.
170
00:11:14,473 --> 00:11:16,668
That doesn't look like a heart.
171
00:11:16,742 --> 00:11:19,768
lt looks more like a kidney.
172
00:11:19,845 --> 00:11:21,779
Well, yes, it does.
173
00:11:21,847 --> 00:11:23,872
Well, a heart says, ''l love you,''
174
00:11:23,949 --> 00:11:26,816
but a kidney says, ''l gotta go.''
175
00:11:32,591 --> 00:11:35,151
Well, guess what.
And so do we.
176
00:11:35,227 --> 00:11:39,630
We'll be right back
after these words from Binford.
177
00:11:42,101 --> 00:11:46,435
I want to thank our special guest Brad
Taylor. who filled Al's tool belt admirably
178
00:11:46,505 --> 00:11:48,803
With a few notches left over.
I might add
179
00:11:48,874 --> 00:11:52,241
- Goodbye. everybody
- Nee you sex time
180
00:12:02,054 --> 00:12:04,648
- See you next time
- Bye. folks
181
00:12:07,993 --> 00:12:12,327
Brad, you were wonderful. l am so sorry
l had that test and l couldn't be there.
182
00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:16,061
- Yeah, you were really good.
- You had them eating out of your hand.
183
00:12:16,135 --> 00:12:19,400
One day, you'll have your own star
on the Tool Time Walk of Fame.
184
00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:22,999
Right near mine,
and way ahead of Al's.
185
00:12:23,075 --> 00:12:25,066
(phone rings)
186
00:12:25,144 --> 00:12:27,374
- (Randy) l'll get it.
- Hey, don't bother.
187
00:12:27,446 --> 00:12:30,244
l'm sure it's for me.
lt's probably Heidi.
188
00:12:30,316 --> 00:12:34,150
Yeah, she just wants to know what time
she should come over to baby-sit you.
189
00:12:34,220 --> 00:12:36,780
You're just jealous.
190
00:12:36,856 --> 00:12:38,517
Hello?
191
00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:41,355
Oh. Hi, Ashley.
192
00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:44,487
- You loved the show?
- Not as much as Brad loves Heidi.
193
00:12:44,563 --> 00:12:48,363
l'm gonna pound you, you little punk.
No, not you, Ashley. Um...
194
00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:52,029
- # Brad and Heidi, sitting in a tree...
- Could l call you right back?
195
00:12:52,104 --> 00:12:55,073
- # K-i-s-s-i-n-g...
- Hey, hey, let it go. Come on.
196
00:12:55,141 --> 00:12:58,235
Just go call Ashley
upstairs from our room.
197
00:12:58,310 --> 00:13:02,178
- What are you doing?
- Me? He's the one doing all the shoving.
198
00:13:02,248 --> 00:13:04,876
- 'Cause you're acting like a jerk.
- Tim, Tim.
199
00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:07,043
Randy, what's going on?
200
00:13:07,119 --> 00:13:08,108
Nothing.
201
00:13:08,187 --> 00:13:11,122
This is a big deal for Brad.
You should be happy for him.
202
00:13:11,190 --> 00:13:15,684
You know, you're right, Dad.
Why don't l just throw him a parade?
203
00:13:15,761 --> 00:13:18,753
His head's so big,
he could be a float.
204
00:13:27,039 --> 00:13:29,564
So what do you think
is going on with Randy?
205
00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:32,543
There's nothing going on.
He's just being Mr. Obnoxious.
206
00:13:32,611 --> 00:13:37,947
Maybe he's reacting to his equally
obnoxious brother, Mr. Hot-for-Heidi.
207
00:13:38,017 --> 00:13:40,451
You should know
she's a master electrician.
208
00:13:40,519 --> 00:13:42,817
Yeah, right.
209
00:13:44,790 --> 00:13:49,056
What we have here, honey,
is a simple case of sibling rivalry.
210
00:13:49,128 --> 00:13:51,392
Exactly.
211
00:13:51,463 --> 00:13:53,727
Which just proves,
Ms. Straight-A Student,
212
00:13:53,799 --> 00:13:56,893
that l might know just about as much
about psychology as you do.
213
00:13:56,969 --> 00:13:58,732
Oh, really?
214
00:13:58,804 --> 00:14:00,999
What causes sibling rivalry?
215
00:14:01,073 --> 00:14:03,405
Having more than one kid.
216
00:14:08,647 --> 00:14:14,483
lt's the competition between siblings
for the love and attention of their parents.
217
00:14:14,553 --> 00:14:16,919
- He's acting like this to get our attention?
- No.
218
00:14:16,989 --> 00:14:20,117
l think he's acting like this
to get your attention.
219
00:14:20,192 --> 00:14:24,253
- Why does he just want my attention?
- 'Cause you took Brad on Tool Time
220
00:14:24,330 --> 00:14:26,798
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
221
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:32,463
This is classic Freud.
Transferring blame to the tool show host.
222
00:14:34,573 --> 00:14:38,737
Look, all l'm saying is that l think
that Randy's feeling a little left out.
223
00:14:38,811 --> 00:14:41,609
He wouldn't want to go on Tool Time
He doesn't like tools.
224
00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:45,013
This goes way beyond Tool Time
You spend more time with Brad.
225
00:14:45,084 --> 00:14:46,608
- No, l don't.
- Yes, you do.
226
00:14:46,685 --> 00:14:51,122
Working on the hot rod together, talking
about what Brad's first car should be.
227
00:14:51,190 --> 00:14:54,318
- He'll be the first to drive. He's the oldest.
- Exactly.
228
00:14:54,393 --> 00:14:57,328
Randy is a middle child,
just like l was.
229
00:14:57,396 --> 00:15:00,456
We're not going through
this middle-child thing again?
230
00:15:00,532 --> 00:15:03,399
lt was very traumatic.
l was constantly overlooked.
231
00:15:03,469 --> 00:15:07,235
When you went to the zoo, you never got
to see the animals you wanted to see.
232
00:15:07,306 --> 00:15:10,366
Robin got to see the monkeys.
Katie got to see the zebras.
233
00:15:10,442 --> 00:15:14,469
l've heard this story
over and over and over...
234
00:15:16,982 --> 00:15:19,507
All l wanted to do
was see the wallabies.
235
00:15:29,495 --> 00:15:31,656
Hey, Randy. l was looking for you.
236
00:15:31,730 --> 00:15:35,359
- Well, you found me. See you.
- Wait a minute. l got an idea.
237
00:15:35,434 --> 00:15:38,267
How would you like to be
on Tool Time with me next week?
238
00:15:38,337 --> 00:15:42,330
Why?
ls Brad holding out for more money?
239
00:15:42,408 --> 00:15:46,401
This is nothing to do with Brad.
lt'd be fun. We could do a project together.
240
00:15:46,478 --> 00:15:49,072
No, thanks.
241
00:15:49,148 --> 00:15:51,309
Heidi'll be there.
242
00:15:51,383 --> 00:15:53,715
She's a master electrician.
243
00:15:55,888 --> 00:15:57,879
- (Wilson) ls that you, Tim?
- Hi, Wilson.
244
00:15:57,957 --> 00:16:01,518
Neighbor,
have you seen my fuzzy woolly bear?
245
00:16:01,593 --> 00:16:04,391
No, and l'd like to keep it that way.
246
00:16:06,699 --> 00:16:11,136
No, Tim. The fuzzy woolly bear
l'm referring to is a type of caterpillar.
247
00:16:11,203 --> 00:16:13,831
Oh, there you are, little fella.
248
00:16:14,673 --> 00:16:18,040
Just one question, Wilson.
Pet or dinner?
249
00:16:19,211 --> 00:16:21,236
lt's a weather forecaster, Tim.
250
00:16:21,313 --> 00:16:24,476
By measuring the width of the stripe
on the caterpillar's back,
251
00:16:24,550 --> 00:16:27,314
l can tell you how long and cold
the winter's gonna be.
252
00:16:27,386 --> 00:16:30,321
l wish l had a caterpillar
to tell me what to do about Randy.
253
00:16:30,389 --> 00:16:32,755
He's upset
because he thinks l favor Brad.
254
00:16:33,225 --> 00:16:35,591
- Well, do you feel that's true?
- No.
255
00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:37,720
l do things with both of the guys, you know.
256
00:16:37,796 --> 00:16:42,529
Brad and l go to sporting events, work on
the hot rod, build stuff with my tools.
257
00:16:42,601 --> 00:16:45,570
Randy and l joke. l make jokes,
he makes jokes, we make jokes.
258
00:16:45,637 --> 00:16:50,768
The jokes go back and forth. He jokes,
l joke. There's a lot of jokes going on.
259
00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:55,837
- Sounds like you share your jocularity.
- No, he couldn't fit into mine.
260
00:16:58,183 --> 00:17:02,381
Truth is, Wilson, l'm not that interested
in the things that Randy does.
261
00:17:02,454 --> 00:17:05,821
Playing with his computer.
Listening to heavy metal music.
262
00:17:05,891 --> 00:17:08,758
Reading books without ''illustrated''
on the cover.
263
00:17:08,827 --> 00:17:13,287
Well, it sounds to me like it's just more
difficult for you to connect with Randy.
264
00:17:13,365 --> 00:17:14,627
l guess so.
265
00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:19,296
Well, Tim, l'm reminded of what
the Chinese philosopher Chuang-tzu said.
266
00:17:19,371 --> 00:17:21,965
''You cannot speak of the ocean
to a well frog.
267
00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:25,568
''You cannot speak of ice
to a summer insect.''
268
00:17:25,644 --> 00:17:28,340
You can't speak Chinese to a tool man.
269
00:17:29,348 --> 00:17:33,512
- What are you talking about?
- l'm saying if Randy is feeling overlooked,
270
00:17:33,585 --> 00:17:36,850
maybe you have to try a little harder
to find a way into his world.
271
00:17:36,922 --> 00:17:39,413
(grunts) Yeah, gotta get into his world.
272
00:17:44,997 --> 00:17:47,431
- See you, Mom.
- Hey, wait. Where you going?
273
00:17:47,499 --> 00:17:50,093
To the mall.
l'm just gonna meet a lot of my friends.
274
00:17:50,169 --> 00:17:52,729
They're probably
just gonna tell me how great l am.
275
00:17:52,805 --> 00:17:56,002
Brad, Brad, wait a minute.
Come back, l want to talk to you.
276
00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:58,509
What?
277
00:18:00,245 --> 00:18:06,047
l know that you were a guest star on
a low-rated cable show for a half an hour,
278
00:18:06,118 --> 00:18:08,712
but don't you think
you're getting a little puffed up?
279
00:18:08,787 --> 00:18:12,279
Well, l mean,
l can't help it if everybody loved me.
280
00:18:12,991 --> 00:18:15,789
l don't think
that Randy loved you so much.
281
00:18:15,861 --> 00:18:20,059
Mom, come on. l mean, Randy was a total
jerk. He made fun of everything l did.
282
00:18:20,132 --> 00:18:23,659
Well, that's because
you got to be on TV and he didn't.
283
00:18:23,735 --> 00:18:27,262
- So you're saying Randy's jealous of me?
- Yeah, a little.
284
00:18:27,339 --> 00:18:28,670
Cool.
285
00:18:30,676 --> 00:18:33,804
Brad, l want you to think about this.
286
00:18:33,879 --> 00:18:37,542
How do you feel when Randy comes home
with a really great report card
287
00:18:37,616 --> 00:18:41,052
and waves that around under your face?
288
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:43,680
- Not so cool.
- Yeah.
289
00:18:43,755 --> 00:18:48,886
And, see, this is kinda harder for Randy,
because he's a middle child, just like l was.
290
00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:53,159
Mom, Mom, please.
Not the wallaby story.
291
00:18:54,166 --> 00:18:59,194
We went to the zoo every year.
Robin got to see the monkeys.
292
00:18:59,271 --> 00:19:02,536
- Oh, no!
- Katie got to see the zebras.
293
00:19:07,045 --> 00:19:09,036
(knock on door/door opens)
294
00:19:10,048 --> 00:19:13,609
Hey, Randy.
How are things in your world?
295
00:19:13,685 --> 00:19:17,177
- What?
- What are you doing?
296
00:19:17,256 --> 00:19:20,555
Just finishing up
some biology homework.
297
00:19:20,626 --> 00:19:22,958
- Need help?
- Nope.
298
00:19:23,028 --> 00:19:25,622
Good.
299
00:19:29,101 --> 00:19:32,593
l came up here
to talk about what's going on.
300
00:19:32,671 --> 00:19:34,195
Nothing's going on.
301
00:19:34,273 --> 00:19:38,141
Randy, something's going on,
and l'm pretty sure it's my fault.
302
00:19:38,210 --> 00:19:39,939
What do you mean?
303
00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:45,575
Well, this ancient Chinese ice-cream
salesman, Young Zoo, found that
304
00:19:45,651 --> 00:19:51,647
frozen frogs and wet insects couldn't talk
'cause they were cold to one another.
305
00:19:57,829 --> 00:20:02,061
- Sure thing, Dad.
- What l'm trying to say is...
306
00:20:02,134 --> 00:20:04,762
lf it seems like l spend
more time with Brad than you,
307
00:20:04,836 --> 00:20:07,703
it's because we share similar interests.
308
00:20:07,773 --> 00:20:11,209
And l wish l was interested
in the same things you are, but...
309
00:20:11,276 --> 00:20:14,302
Just because l'm not
doesn't mean l love you any less.
310
00:20:14,379 --> 00:20:18,042
- Do you understand that?
- Yeah, l guess.
311
00:20:18,116 --> 00:20:21,244
You know, of all the boys,
l figure you and l are the most alike.
312
00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:24,118
Come on, Dad.
l mean, you and Brad are the most alike.
313
00:20:24,189 --> 00:20:29,286
No, no. We share similar interests,
but you and l have similar personalities.
314
00:20:29,361 --> 00:20:32,091
lf a guy's walking down the street
with his fly down,
315
00:20:32,164 --> 00:20:36,396
if l can't come up with a joke,
l know you'll back me up.
316
00:20:38,136 --> 00:20:40,127
Well, you gotta make the fly joke.
317
00:20:40,205 --> 00:20:42,264
That's right.
You gotta make the fly joke.
318
00:20:42,341 --> 00:20:45,868
- Hey, pal, you know your fly's down?
- lt's cheaper than air conditioning.
319
00:20:45,944 --> 00:20:47,275
Zoom!
320
00:20:47,346 --> 00:20:49,576
Hey, buddy.
You know your fly's down?
321
00:20:49,648 --> 00:20:53,516
No, but l know ''Fly Me To The Moon.''
Hey! All right.
322
00:20:53,585 --> 00:20:57,248
- What is that thing?
- lt's a disk with ombie Sneak Attack on it.
323
00:20:57,322 --> 00:20:59,882
Zombies, l love zombies.
Can two play this game?
324
00:20:59,958 --> 00:21:01,220
Yeah.
325
00:21:01,293 --> 00:21:03,625
- Let's play.
- All right.
326
00:21:04,796 --> 00:21:08,061
- What are we waiting for?
- lt's gonna take a minute to boot up.
327
00:21:08,133 --> 00:21:12,433
l still have that old L30 chip in it.
Not much power.
328
00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:25,546
Are you saying
this thing needs more power?
329
00:21:25,617 --> 00:21:29,849
Lemme open it up.
l can make this thing go faster.
330
00:21:29,921 --> 00:21:35,917
Well, why don't we just save you the
trouble and throw it up against the wall?
331
00:21:39,865 --> 00:21:44,393
(Tim on TV) Watch out! The finish line
Checkered flag!
332
00:21:47,039 --> 00:21:49,974
Don't you ever get sick
of watching yourself on Tool Time?
333
00:21:50,042 --> 00:21:51,976
Sh. Are you kidding me?
334
00:21:52,044 --> 00:21:57,949
Every time l watch that videotape, l always
find something else l like about me.
335
00:21:58,016 --> 00:22:03,352
You know, it's true what they say. You're
better on tape than you are in person.
336
00:22:04,389 --> 00:22:06,619
Well... Do you really think l stunk?
337
00:22:06,692 --> 00:22:09,855
Nah, l thought you did a jerrific tob.
338
00:22:10,796 --> 00:22:13,924
Thanks. Hey, you wanna go play
some ombie Sneak Attack?
339
00:22:13,999 --> 00:22:17,696
Uh, can't do it.
Dad made a few adjustments.
340
00:22:17,769 --> 00:22:21,899
Zombies won't be coming back
from the dead anymore.
341
00:22:29,881 --> 00:22:32,179
- Well done, Dad.
- Thank you, son. Oop.
342
00:22:39,624 --> 00:22:42,024
- You'll love our next gadget.
- That's right.
343
00:22:42,094 --> 00:22:46,326
You're on the job site, it's been raining
all day, your boots are sop... soap...
344
00:22:49,568 --> 00:22:51,832
Yes. Get...
345
00:22:51,903 --> 00:22:56,806
(woman) Here we go. Replay.
Ready in five, four, three...