1
00:00:02,769 --> 00:00:06,899
- OK. OK.
- The show is over and it's still smoking.
2
00:00:06,973 --> 00:00:09,066
- l did this for a reason.
- That would be?
3
00:00:09,142 --> 00:00:12,441
Now the crowd knows what happens
when you overcharge a battery.
4
00:00:12,512 --> 00:00:14,844
lt swells up and does this.
5
00:00:18,451 --> 00:00:21,477
- Hey. You seen this month's Detroit Life?
- Not yet.
6
00:00:21,554 --> 00:00:24,887
Guess who's one of
the sexiest ten bachelors in the city.
7
00:00:24,958 --> 00:00:27,222
- Someone we know?
- Someone on the show.
8
00:00:27,293 --> 00:00:31,423
l bet it's Marv.
l've always found Marv attractive.
9
00:00:32,766 --> 00:00:36,133
Marv's OK, but he's no Vic.
10
00:00:36,202 --> 00:00:38,830
lt's not Marv or Vic.
lt's Al.
11
00:00:38,905 --> 00:00:41,066
- (Tim) Who?
- (Al) What?
12
00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:44,867
- Congratulations, Al.
- Thank you.
13
00:00:46,479 --> 00:00:49,471
l must say l'm... l'm very flattered.
14
00:00:49,549 --> 00:00:52,143
l must say l'm very frightened.
15
00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:58,047
''What woman wouldn't wanna cuddle up
with Detroit's rugged Mr. Fix-lt,
16
00:00:58,124 --> 00:01:00,285
''Al Borland?''
17
00:01:02,796 --> 00:01:05,128
''Along with his trademark humility,
18
00:01:05,198 --> 00:01:09,396
''Al displays a quiet competence
and an understated sense of humor.''
19
00:01:09,469 --> 00:01:12,404
So understated, no one gets it.
20
00:01:12,472 --> 00:01:15,100
- Obviously someone did.
- Huh?
21
00:01:15,175 --> 00:01:20,112
''His big, beaming smile
matches his big, beaming behind.''
22
00:01:21,481 --> 00:01:24,609
- lt doesn't say that!
- Well, it should.
23
00:01:25,418 --> 00:01:28,444
- Well, wait a minute. You're in here.
- What's it say?
24
00:01:28,521 --> 00:01:32,514
''As usual, the Borland charm
is a much-needed antidote
25
00:01:32,592 --> 00:01:38,326
''to the overblown macho displays
of the accident-prone host Tim Taylor.''
26
00:01:38,398 --> 00:01:41,890
Accident-prone!
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
27
00:02:32,485 --> 00:02:34,385
All right, give me another problem.
28
00:02:34,454 --> 00:02:39,721
OK. ''Bill's car goes 40 miles per hour.
Mary's car goes 60 miles per hour.
29
00:02:39,792 --> 00:02:43,523
''How long will it take
for each of them to go 1 20 miles?''
30
00:02:43,596 --> 00:02:47,088
All right.
What size motors do they have?
31
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:48,395
What?
32
00:02:48,468 --> 00:02:51,904
- ls it automatic or manual transmission?
- Dad!
33
00:02:51,971 --> 00:02:54,997
The answer is Bill, three hours,
Mary, two.
34
00:02:55,074 --> 00:02:57,065
Thanks.
35
00:02:58,311 --> 00:03:01,075
l shouldn't be helping you
with your math homework.
36
00:03:01,147 --> 00:03:04,048
You're not.
37
00:03:04,117 --> 00:03:06,017
What's your English assignment?
38
00:03:06,085 --> 00:03:09,987
Well, l have to do a report
on the most interesting person l know.
39
00:03:10,056 --> 00:03:11,887
(sighs)
40
00:03:11,958 --> 00:03:14,984
l was born in middle Michigan.
41
00:03:15,061 --> 00:03:17,723
- lt was an autumn birth. A breech baby...
- Dad. Dad.
42
00:03:17,797 --> 00:03:22,166
l'm not sure you're
the most interesting person l know.
43
00:03:22,235 --> 00:03:27,195
l'm not sure he's the most interesting
person in this room.
44
00:03:27,273 --> 00:03:30,834
- Maybe l'll do Wilson.
- Wilson?
45
00:03:30,910 --> 00:03:34,346
Wilson? What interesting thing
is he gonna tell you?
46
00:03:34,414 --> 00:03:39,147
- Well, how about his dinner with Einstein?
- Wow! He had dinner with Einstein?
47
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:41,380
Really overrated guy.
48
00:03:43,189 --> 00:03:48,058
lf he knew so much about gravity,
how come his hair stood up like that?
49
00:03:48,127 --> 00:03:50,595
You should write the story about me.
50
00:03:50,663 --> 00:03:52,927
l think l'll stick with Wilson.
51
00:03:54,167 --> 00:03:55,998
- Hi, guys.
- Hi, Mom.
52
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:59,630
Hey, Brad. Who's the most
interesting man that you know?
53
00:03:59,706 --> 00:04:02,140
Wilson.
54
00:04:03,476 --> 00:04:10,177
Did you see this magazine? Al was voted
one of the ten sexiest bachelors in Detroit.
55
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:15,051
Which explains why all the single women
l saw were heading towards Cleveland.
56
00:04:15,121 --> 00:04:17,851
l can see how some women
would find Al sexy.
57
00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:21,325
l guess if you never saw
another man before.
58
00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:25,458
You just don't get it. Sexiness
is something that comes from the inside.
59
00:04:25,531 --> 00:04:28,227
lt's something that you exude.
60
00:04:28,301 --> 00:04:33,364
lt's my opinion that anything Al exudes
should stay on the inside.
61
00:04:35,408 --> 00:04:38,434
- Does everybody know what time it is?
- Tool Time!
62
00:04:38,511 --> 00:04:43,471
That's right. Binford Tools is proud to
present Tim ''The Tool Man'' Taylor. Whoo!
63
00:04:48,588 --> 00:04:51,148
Thank you, everybody,
and welcome to Tool Time
64
00:04:51,224 --> 00:04:54,682
l am Tim ''The Tool Man'' Taylor.
You all know my assistant Al ''l Wish l...''
65
00:04:54,761 --> 00:04:57,662
(cheering)
66
00:04:59,699 --> 00:05:02,532
Well, l guess we all read the article,
didn't we?
67
00:05:02,602 --> 00:05:04,433
l love you, Al.
68
00:05:04,871 --> 00:05:06,862
Thank you.
69
00:05:08,174 --> 00:05:13,373
lt's nice to have you ladies in the audience.
We're talking about French doors today.
70
00:05:13,446 --> 00:05:16,040
- We wanna talk about Al.
- Yeah.
71
00:05:19,385 --> 00:05:22,377
Actually, Al and French doors
share something in common.
72
00:05:22,455 --> 00:05:25,356
They're both things l like to slam.
73
00:05:28,728 --> 00:05:32,289
The thing about putting in doors is
you want to secure 'em, straighten 'em,
74
00:05:32,365 --> 00:05:34,959
plumb 'em,
and make sure that they're straight.
75
00:05:35,034 --> 00:05:38,492
Could you move
so we could get a better view of Al?
76
00:05:40,573 --> 00:05:43,667
- ls this better?
- Well, now l can't see.
77
00:05:44,477 --> 00:05:47,241
Ladies, this is a tool show, OK?
All right?
78
00:05:47,313 --> 00:05:49,577
We're gonna use shims here,
as he hammers...
79
00:05:49,649 --> 00:05:51,981
Excuse me.
Could l ask a question?
80
00:05:52,051 --> 00:05:55,020
Oh, gosh darn it, why not?
81
00:05:55,088 --> 00:05:57,318
Has Al ever been married?
82
00:05:57,390 --> 00:06:00,826
lf we're gonna ask questions,
they should be about French doors.
83
00:06:00,893 --> 00:06:05,057
Would Al be more likely
to marry someone who had French doors?
84
00:06:05,998 --> 00:06:10,628
Actually, l'm partial to women
with all sorts of doors.
85
00:06:14,407 --> 00:06:16,807
Dutch doors, sliding glass doors...
86
00:06:16,876 --> 00:06:19,538
Keep going.
Any other kind of doors?
87
00:06:19,612 --> 00:06:21,603
No.
88
00:06:23,716 --> 00:06:26,617
What kind of windows
does Al like in a woman?
89
00:06:26,686 --> 00:06:30,622
Actually, l'm partial to bay or louvered.
90
00:06:30,690 --> 00:06:32,851
Or broken.
91
00:06:38,531 --> 00:06:43,127
And l would like to thank Jill
for introducing me to llene.
92
00:06:43,202 --> 00:06:47,332
And, llene,
here's to another great 1 5 months.
93
00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:51,002
lt's been the happiest
1 5 months of my life.
94
00:06:52,178 --> 00:06:54,408
That is so romantic.
95
00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:56,812
Sure is. l want pork.
96
00:06:58,684 --> 00:07:02,245
Hi. l'm Shelly,
and l'll be your waitress this evening.
97
00:07:02,321 --> 00:07:07,315
l'm single, l want a relationship,
and l like long walks on the beach.
98
00:07:08,895 --> 00:07:12,922
l'm starving, l want pork,
and l'd like a glass of water.
99
00:07:12,999 --> 00:07:15,900
We have some lovely appetizers
this evening.
100
00:07:15,968 --> 00:07:19,460
May l recommend the raw oysters?
101
00:07:19,539 --> 00:07:23,532
- Are they fresh?
- l shucked them myself.
102
00:07:24,544 --> 00:07:30,949
- Sounds great. l'll have that.
- l'll have the... Shelly, we're hungry too.
103
00:07:31,017 --> 00:07:33,918
She just took one of her long walks.
104
00:07:35,822 --> 00:07:38,791
(imitating Shelly)
''l shucked them myself.''
105
00:07:39,792 --> 00:07:43,751
Everywhere we go, the women
have been flocking to his flannel.
106
00:07:43,830 --> 00:07:49,496
There is nothing worse in this world
than a flagrant flannel flocker.
107
00:07:49,569 --> 00:07:54,597
Excuse me. l don't mean to interrupt,
but, Mr. Borland, l just have to tell you
108
00:07:54,674 --> 00:07:57,973
you're even more handsome
than you were in the magazine.
109
00:07:58,044 --> 00:08:01,878
- Can l have your autograph?
- Please, call me Al.
110
00:08:01,948 --> 00:08:04,576
l'm such a fan of your show.
111
00:08:04,650 --> 00:08:08,677
Oh, that's very gratifying to hear.
Tim and l always try to do our best.
112
00:08:08,754 --> 00:08:11,245
Who's Tim?
113
00:08:14,794 --> 00:08:16,819
- Oh.
- Bye.
114
00:08:16,896 --> 00:08:19,524
Uh, excuse me, miss.
You forgot something.
115
00:08:19,599 --> 00:08:24,093
She didn't forget anything, Al.
She just gave you her phone number.
116
00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:27,196
Can you believe that woman?
She could see you were with him.
117
00:08:27,273 --> 00:08:30,731
Going for Al,
maybe she can't see.
118
00:08:31,577 --> 00:08:35,604
Anyway, llene, tell us what's going on
in the fast-paced world of orthodontia.
119
00:08:35,681 --> 00:08:39,845
Oh, it's very exciting. l just got back
from a symposium on overbites,
120
00:08:39,919 --> 00:08:43,252
and the most interesting thing happened.
121
00:08:45,925 --> 00:08:48,120
What are you doing, Al?
122
00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:50,424
Waving.
123
00:08:50,496 --> 00:08:53,056
l'm in the middle of a story.
124
00:08:53,132 --> 00:08:55,259
Well, l was just being polite.
125
00:08:55,334 --> 00:08:59,236
l feel l have a responsibility
to my public.
126
00:08:59,939 --> 00:09:03,306
Your public?
A few days ago you didn't have a public.
127
00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:07,039
Well, yes, l did.
They just didn't know who l was.
128
00:09:07,113 --> 00:09:10,605
You know, the way you're acting
l'm not sure l know who you are.
129
00:09:10,683 --> 00:09:13,811
Well, l'm still
the same old Al Borland.
130
00:09:13,886 --> 00:09:15,820
Hey.
131
00:09:15,888 --> 00:09:19,346
- Excuse me. l'm going to the ladies' room.
- llene, l... l didn't...
132
00:09:19,425 --> 00:09:24,453
- l think, um, l'll go with you.
- l'm right behind you, girls.
133
00:09:25,431 --> 00:09:28,127
l suppose l can hold it.
134
00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:30,464
What is llene so upset about?
135
00:09:30,937 --> 00:09:33,030
When you're out with llene,
136
00:09:33,105 --> 00:09:37,508
next time you wave at a strange woman
you'd better be riding in a float in a parade.
137
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:42,537
Well, it's not my fault that... that all
these women are paying attention to me.
138
00:09:42,615 --> 00:09:46,381
- You're a real babe magnet right now.
- l wouldn't go that far.
139
00:09:46,452 --> 00:09:48,443
(woman) Hello.
140
00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:55,990
Hello, l'm Al Magnet. l-l mean, Al...
Al Borland, and it's very nice to meet you.
141
00:09:56,062 --> 00:09:58,223
- Christine Dempsey.
- Christine.
142
00:09:58,297 --> 00:10:01,858
Sorry to bother you,
but, um, l've broken my heel,
143
00:10:01,934 --> 00:10:05,062
and l read about
how good you are with your hands.
144
00:10:05,137 --> 00:10:09,301
You know, l have a tool kit
for just such an emergency.
145
00:10:11,077 --> 00:10:14,706
He also has an emergency inflatable raft
in case the kitchen floods.
146
00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:18,079
You know, the kitchen... kitchen?
147
00:10:18,150 --> 00:10:20,675
Oh, boy.
148
00:10:20,753 --> 00:10:23,085
You have a very lovely foot.
149
00:10:24,023 --> 00:10:25,957
A very lovely knee.
150
00:10:26,025 --> 00:10:28,516
And a heck of a thigh.
151
00:10:28,594 --> 00:10:30,926
l wouldn't go any higher, Al.
152
00:10:30,997 --> 00:10:32,965
Your hands are so warm.
153
00:10:33,532 --> 00:10:36,524
Well, l've always had
very good circulation.
154
00:10:36,602 --> 00:10:39,298
You're about ready
to be put out of circulation, Al.
155
00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:41,363
Al!
156
00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:44,636
l-l'm sorry, um...
157
00:10:45,711 --> 00:10:48,111
Uh, Christine.
158
00:10:48,180 --> 00:10:51,775
llene, Christine.
Christine, llene.
159
00:10:51,851 --> 00:10:55,446
- llene is my friend.
- Your friend? l'm your friend?
160
00:10:55,521 --> 00:10:57,352
- My good friend.
- Girlfriend.
161
00:10:57,423 --> 00:11:01,917
Girlfriend. That's the word
l was... l was looking for.
162
00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:12,096
What is happening to you? You were
flirting with all these other women.
163
00:11:12,171 --> 00:11:17,507
- lt's like l don't even exist.
- llene, that's not true! lt's...
164
00:11:18,477 --> 00:11:21,412
Oh... Excuse me, please.
165
00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:23,471
Hi, Al.
166
00:11:36,429 --> 00:11:37,862
Sir?
167
00:11:37,930 --> 00:11:40,091
Need more butter.
168
00:11:47,606 --> 00:11:51,770
Well... l think that
they're talking out there.
169
00:11:51,844 --> 00:11:55,302
l cannot believe he acted that way.
He flirted with every woman here.
170
00:11:55,381 --> 00:11:58,817
- Those women were coming on to him.
- He's like a different person.
171
00:11:58,884 --> 00:12:04,516
Good. Usually he's out clog dancing with
his mother. He's acting like a normal guy.
172
00:12:04,590 --> 00:12:09,721
You think it's normal to ignore a woman
on your 1 5-month anniversary?
173
00:12:09,795 --> 00:12:13,993
l don't think it's normal
to celebrate a 1 5-month anniversary.
174
00:12:14,066 --> 00:12:17,797
Give the guy a break.
He's just living out every guy's fantasy.
175
00:12:17,870 --> 00:12:23,638
- Excuse me? Every guy's fantasy?
- Every guy's fanta... Single guys.
176
00:12:23,709 --> 00:12:29,545
You know, married guys don't have
fantasies. They're taken away from them.
177
00:12:29,615 --> 00:12:32,140
lt's a good thing,
178
00:12:32,218 --> 00:12:34,345
'cause then you get to... you know,
179
00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:37,480
give all your attention to your wife,
year after year.
180
00:12:37,556 --> 00:12:42,255
You know, month in, month out,
day after day until you're dead.
181
00:12:44,530 --> 00:12:48,022
You've just swept me off my feet
all over again.
182
00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:50,193
- Where's Al?
- He left.
183
00:12:50,269 --> 00:12:51,327
Oh!
184
00:12:51,403 --> 00:12:54,133
Wait. Shelly, we could use the...
185
00:12:54,206 --> 00:12:57,198
You're killing your tip, Shel.
186
00:12:57,276 --> 00:13:00,541
- lf you're not gonna finish any of that...
- Tim! Sorry.
187
00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:04,481
Well, llene just refused to talk to me.
She got in the cab and left.
188
00:13:04,550 --> 00:13:08,987
Well, l don't blame her.
Now, get in your car and go after her.
189
00:13:09,054 --> 00:13:12,114
- l'm not sure l wanna do that.
- You didn't do anything wrong.
190
00:13:12,191 --> 00:13:16,958
- No, l didn't.
- That's not what you think, is it, Tim?
191
00:13:17,396 --> 00:13:19,091
lt's not?
192
00:13:19,165 --> 00:13:20,757
No.
193
00:13:21,233 --> 00:13:23,929
What do you think?
194
00:13:27,139 --> 00:13:29,835
l don't know. Ask her.
195
00:13:34,313 --> 00:13:37,407
He thinks that ever since you read
that magazine article
196
00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:41,249
that you've lost that...
that teddy-bear quality we all love.
197
00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:44,983
He still has that. lt's just every girl
wants to squeeze the stuffing out of him.
198
00:13:45,057 --> 00:13:46,991
That's right. Everywhere...
199
00:13:47,059 --> 00:13:48,788
Tim,
200
00:13:48,861 --> 00:13:52,456
you should tell him if he keeps
behaving like this he'll lose llene,
201
00:13:52,531 --> 00:13:54,556
the best thing that ever happened to him.
202
00:13:54,633 --> 00:13:57,932
- The only thing that ever happened to him.
- That's not true.
203
00:13:58,003 --> 00:14:00,870
Would you please be serious
and talk some sense into him?
204
00:14:00,940 --> 00:14:04,501
You want me to tell him that being wanted
by every girl in Detroit is bad?
205
00:14:04,577 --> 00:14:06,636
- Yes.
- And do that with a straight face?
206
00:14:06,712 --> 00:14:07,974
Yes.
207
00:14:12,384 --> 00:14:13,646
Al...
208
00:14:13,719 --> 00:14:16,745
l can't say that.
l can't do it.
209
00:14:16,822 --> 00:14:19,120
You're gonna sit there
and not say anything?
210
00:14:19,191 --> 00:14:21,284
l'll say something.
211
00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:23,351
Al, call the waitress.
212
00:14:23,429 --> 00:14:25,761
Tell her we want pork.
213
00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:33,763
(long. low music note)
214
00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:39,974
- What are you doing, Wilson?
- Randy, l'm making an alpenhorn.
215
00:14:40,045 --> 00:14:42,843
You see, in Switzerland
they use these to herd sheep.
216
00:14:42,915 --> 00:14:47,011
- Are you getting a sheep?
- l'm playing it in the alpenhorn quintet,
217
00:14:47,086 --> 00:14:52,285
and you boys are welcome to be my guests
at the annual horn and yodel fest.
218
00:14:52,358 --> 00:14:58,024
Sounds like a rockin' good time, but
l'm going to that clarinet and noodle fest.
219
00:14:59,098 --> 00:15:03,626
- Hey, Wilson, can l talk to you?
- Well, yes. l'm all ears, Mark.
220
00:15:03,702 --> 00:15:07,604
l have this report due
on the most interesting person l know,
221
00:15:07,673 --> 00:15:09,732
and l picked you.
222
00:15:09,808 --> 00:15:13,904
- Why, Mark, l am so flattered.
- Did you really know Einstein?
223
00:15:13,979 --> 00:15:17,073
l not only knew him,
l had dinner with the great scientist.
224
00:15:17,149 --> 00:15:19,413
- Wow.
- Oh, yes, indeed.
225
00:15:19,485 --> 00:15:22,943
Over appetizers he regaled me
with his theory of relativity,
226
00:15:23,022 --> 00:15:27,755
and then when the main course came,
he spoke of other great theories.
227
00:15:27,826 --> 00:15:29,987
Mark, are you familiar with photons?
228
00:15:30,062 --> 00:15:33,589
Sure. l slept on one
at my friend Jimmy's house.
229
00:15:34,533 --> 00:15:36,398
l think you're speaking of futons.
230
00:15:36,468 --> 00:15:40,268
See, according to Einstein, light consists
of energy packets called quanta,
231
00:15:40,339 --> 00:15:42,671
which later became known as photons.
232
00:15:42,741 --> 00:15:47,576
Well, that's great, Wilson. But can you tell
me something about him that's interesting?
233
00:15:47,646 --> 00:15:52,049
You know, Mark, l'm thinking
physics may not be your cup of tea.
234
00:15:52,117 --> 00:15:57,350
- Mark, what are you interested in?
- Lots of things - cars, tools, sports.
235
00:15:57,423 --> 00:15:58,947
Hey, guys.
236
00:16:00,392 --> 00:16:05,762
You know, Mark, l may not be the person
you want to speak to about this.
237
00:16:06,198 --> 00:16:07,859
Gotcha, Wilson.
238
00:16:07,933 --> 00:16:11,562
Hey, Dad. Have you ever had dinner
with any interesting people?
239
00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:14,936
You bet.
Felix Myman, the great plumber.
240
00:16:15,007 --> 00:16:19,501
See, Mark? That's a lot more interesting
than Einstein and his theory of relativity.
241
00:16:19,578 --> 00:16:24,675
Felix had a theory called ''clogativity.''
lt has to do with toilet paper and toilets.
242
00:16:24,750 --> 00:16:25,739
Cool!
243
00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:28,616
lt's a smelly theory,
but it's really kinda neat.
244
00:16:28,687 --> 00:16:32,885
He came up with this thing - with enough
air pressure you could shatter porcelain...
245
00:16:34,393 --> 00:16:36,327
- Tim.
- Where have you been?
246
00:16:36,395 --> 00:16:39,853
- Guess what happened when l got home.
- Al, you're an hour late.
247
00:16:39,932 --> 00:16:43,060
Well, l had a lot of calls to return
from my admirers.
248
00:16:43,135 --> 00:16:46,593
lt's a good thing
l got this cellular phone.
249
00:16:47,773 --> 00:16:49,138
Cellular phone, Al?
250
00:16:49,208 --> 00:16:54,077
That's right. Oh, and listen,
if anybody asks, here's my number.
251
00:16:54,146 --> 00:16:58,139
- OK, l'll drop it off at the pound.
- (laughs) Good one.
252
00:16:58,217 --> 00:17:02,745
Anyway, when l get home, in the parking
garage two women are waiting for me.
253
00:17:02,821 --> 00:17:04,846
Twins.
254
00:17:04,923 --> 00:17:07,153
Maybe they needed
a place to park, Al.
255
00:17:07,226 --> 00:17:10,491
Well, they wanted
to park Al, all right!
256
00:17:11,897 --> 00:17:17,062
Those women really wanted to get
their hands on ''Detroit's rugged Mr. Fix-lt.''
257
00:17:17,136 --> 00:17:18,763
And who could blame them?
258
00:17:18,837 --> 00:17:21,328
- Can you hand me that sledgehammer?
- Why?
259
00:17:21,407 --> 00:17:25,503
See if l can pound your head
back to the normal size.
260
00:17:25,577 --> 00:17:28,603
l'm telling you, they really wanted
to get ahold of me.
261
00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:31,843
- Part of me wanted to get ahold of them.
- Borland!
262
00:17:31,917 --> 00:17:35,512
What would you do if you were single and
these women were paying you attention?
263
00:17:35,587 --> 00:17:37,953
- l'll tell you what l'd do.
- Uh-huh.
264
00:17:38,023 --> 00:17:40,116
- Twins?
- (laughs)
265
00:17:40,192 --> 00:17:43,889
That's right. lt's becoming clear
that it's a big world out there,
266
00:17:43,962 --> 00:17:47,329
and l shouldn't
limit myself to just llene.
267
00:17:48,333 --> 00:17:51,996
- l hate to admit it, but l think Jill's right.
- About what?
268
00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:57,600
Before llene came along, your black book
consisted of one number - your mom's.
269
00:17:58,677 --> 00:18:00,508
Well, that's all changed now.
270
00:18:00,579 --> 00:18:03,571
- Why? Because of one magazine article?
- No.
271
00:18:03,649 --> 00:18:06,846
Did you notice they put
one zero extra on your salary?
272
00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:09,080
They d...
273
00:18:10,155 --> 00:18:12,214
You carry it around with you?
274
00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:17,589
Oh, man!
275
00:18:18,497 --> 00:18:21,432
So this is why
everybody was paying attention to me?
276
00:18:21,500 --> 00:18:24,196
- No, that's not the only reason.
- Yes. Yes, it is.
277
00:18:24,269 --> 00:18:25,668
No, it's not.
278
00:18:25,737 --> 00:18:29,696
They picked you as most eligible bachelor
for a lot of reasons. That's just a typo.
279
00:18:29,775 --> 00:18:35,270
You are a good hard-working guy.
You're ha-handsome in a way, you know.
280
00:18:36,348 --> 00:18:39,010
- Hey, if l were a woman, l...
- Tim.
281
00:18:39,084 --> 00:18:41,143
Yeah, you're right.
282
00:18:42,221 --> 00:18:45,713
The point is there's a woman
that's always found you sexy,
283
00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:49,283
and she didn't have to read it
in a magazine.
284
00:18:49,361 --> 00:18:54,560
Yeah. And llene was the first one to
recognize my understated sense of humor.
285
00:18:54,633 --> 00:18:56,567
Bingo.
286
00:18:57,436 --> 00:19:00,599
Tim, do you mind
setting up by yourself?
287
00:19:01,874 --> 00:19:04,502
Al, l am setting up by myself.
288
00:19:04,576 --> 00:19:07,636
l gotta talk to llene.
l... l've really made a mistake.
289
00:19:07,713 --> 00:19:10,876
Did you get any pictures
of those twins?
290
00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:22,517
- Hi.
- ls llene here?
291
00:19:22,594 --> 00:19:25,028
She's tightening some braces.
292
00:19:25,097 --> 00:19:27,031
l'll wait.
293
00:19:34,806 --> 00:19:36,967
See you next week, Tiffany.
Bye-bye.
294
00:19:37,042 --> 00:19:38,805
- Al!
- Hi.
295
00:19:38,877 --> 00:19:41,437
What are you doing here?
296
00:19:41,513 --> 00:19:44,243
l came to apologize for last night.
297
00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:47,652
You're my girlfriend,
298
00:19:47,719 --> 00:19:51,780
and l never wanted
to do anything to make you upset.
299
00:19:51,857 --> 00:19:53,722
Come on, Tiffany.
300
00:19:53,792 --> 00:19:58,627
l know that l've really been
full of myself lately.
301
00:19:58,697 --> 00:20:00,358
Yes, you have.
302
00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:07,271
And it's just that nothing like this has even
remotely ever happened to me before. l...
303
00:20:07,339 --> 00:20:12,971
l mean, it's... l've never been popular like
this, and l just didn't know how to handle it.
304
00:20:13,912 --> 00:20:16,574
So what are you saying, Al?
305
00:20:18,150 --> 00:20:20,311
Well, l'm saying that...
306
00:20:20,385 --> 00:20:25,379
Detroit's... sexiest bachelor...
307
00:20:25,457 --> 00:20:29,518
would really like to be with
Detroit's sexiest orthodontist.
308
00:20:30,529 --> 00:20:32,121
Oh, Al.
309
00:20:38,337 --> 00:20:40,498
(phone rings)
310
00:20:47,613 --> 00:20:49,410
He's unavailable.
311
00:20:49,481 --> 00:20:52,245
Oh, hi, Tim. Hold on.
312
00:20:52,317 --> 00:20:56,083
- lt's for you.
- l told you never to call me here.
313
00:20:58,056 --> 00:21:00,547
l always wanted to say that.
314
00:21:02,694 --> 00:21:04,389
(Tim whistles) Al
315
00:21:04,463 --> 00:21:07,455
Al? Could we? Al
316
00:21:07,532 --> 00:21:08,829
Al
317
00:21:08,900 --> 00:21:12,097
- l'll be right there.
- Al! Al
318
00:21:12,170 --> 00:21:13,660
Tim needs me.
319
00:21:23,582 --> 00:21:24,879
(mouths)
320
00:21:27,719 --> 00:21:30,779
The teacher gave me a tough one today.
lt's about money.
321
00:21:30,856 --> 00:21:33,324
- Hm. What's the problem?
- All right.
322
00:21:33,392 --> 00:21:35,383
''Sam has $8.
Billy has nothing.''
323
00:21:35,460 --> 00:21:38,327
Wait, wait, wait. Should use real money.
Eight bucks?
324
00:21:38,397 --> 00:21:40,831
Yeah.
325
00:21:40,899 --> 00:21:44,266
Four, five, six... cool.
All right, go ahead.
326
00:21:44,336 --> 00:21:46,896
- All right.
- l'll be Sam. You be Billy.
327
00:21:50,108 --> 00:21:53,600
That's $4.
One, two, three, four.
328
00:21:53,679 --> 00:21:55,306
- Thanks, Sam.
- All right.
329
00:21:58,917 --> 00:22:01,112
- That's two out of the four.
- OK. One, two.
330
00:22:01,186 --> 00:22:04,053
- That's pretty simple. OK.
- All right.
331
00:22:10,195 --> 00:22:12,629
All right.
332
00:22:12,698 --> 00:22:14,825
- ''...how much does Sam have?''
- Nothing.
333
00:22:16,034 --> 00:22:18,969
Exactly. Thanks, Sam.
334
00:22:23,875 --> 00:22:26,343
Sam wasn't a real bright guy, was he?
335
00:22:30,916 --> 00:22:33,680
l'm partial to women with all kinds of doors.
336
00:22:33,752 --> 00:22:36,118
Dutch doors, sliding glass doors...
337
00:22:38,657 --> 00:22:40,249
Well, l think we've...
338
00:22:40,325 --> 00:22:43,158
- Garage doors. Back doors.
- Garage doors. Back doors.
339
00:22:43,228 --> 00:22:44,217
Let's finish...
340
00:22:44,296 --> 00:22:46,059
- Side doors...
- Side doors. Good.
341
00:22:46,131 --> 00:22:49,066
Well, actually l like bay or louvered.