1
00:00:04,537 --> 00:00:07,370
Come on, you guys.
Dinner's hot.
2
00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:10,375
- (Mark) What did you get?
- Everybody's favorite - Polish food.
3
00:00:10,443 --> 00:00:14,379
- Oh...
- All right! l love Polish food.
4
00:00:14,447 --> 00:00:18,008
- l went down to Hamtramick Stan's.
- You were supposed to get pizza.
5
00:00:18,084 --> 00:00:21,611
- Anybody can get pizza.
- You didn't.
6
00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:27,149
That's 'cause on the way to get the pizza,
l heard the call for kielbasa.
7
00:00:27,227 --> 00:00:31,129
You know, the last time you ate
Polish food, you were up half the night.
8
00:00:31,197 --> 00:00:34,132
And in the bathroom the other half.
9
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:37,829
That's because l made a pig of myself.
This time l didn't order so much.
10
00:00:37,904 --> 00:00:40,839
These things look great.
11
00:00:41,307 --> 00:00:44,276
These are great.
Brad, you've gotta try the duck blood soup.
12
00:00:44,344 --> 00:00:49,247
lt's all right, Dad.
For lunch l had a chicken gut sandwich.
13
00:00:50,283 --> 00:00:52,649
l hope you're not gonna
stuff yourself again.
14
00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:55,950
Once you get started on golabkis,
it's hard to put the brakes on.
15
00:00:56,022 --> 00:01:00,891
lt's not the brakes l'm worried about,
it's your full tank of gas.
16
00:02:03,857 --> 00:02:06,291
Oh!
17
00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:11,160
- You awake?
- No.
18
00:02:11,231 --> 00:02:15,395
l think all those golabkis l ate
19
00:02:15,468 --> 00:02:18,494
turned into one big golabki.
20
00:02:18,571 --> 00:02:22,507
lt's wedged between my head
and my heinie, honey.
21
00:02:24,844 --> 00:02:26,243
- Go to sleep.
- l can't.
22
00:02:26,312 --> 00:02:31,340
Do we have any of those little
minty, chalky, chewy stomach thingies?
23
00:02:31,417 --> 00:02:36,684
- There's the liquid stuff downstairs.
- Oh, would you go get it for me?
24
00:02:36,756 --> 00:02:40,920
l didn't overeat. Why should l have
to get up in the middle of the night?
25
00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:44,361
'Cause in a second you'll want
to be getting out of this bed anyway.
26
00:02:44,430 --> 00:02:46,227
Oh, man!
27
00:03:06,219 --> 00:03:08,949
(man) Now . when peorming
a vasectomy.
28
00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:12,583
the first snip is always critical
29
00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:17,496
Qu buena gente
30
00:03:19,299 --> 00:03:22,097
Bonito. el viejito
31
00:03:23,303 --> 00:03:27,933
Y auel chavito.
pues tan reuetechiuito
32
00:03:28,007 --> 00:03:30,134
Too sad.
33
00:03:32,278 --> 00:03:34,269
(groans)
34
00:03:50,430 --> 00:03:53,991
- Does everybody know what time it is?
- (audience) ''Tool Time''!
35
00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:59,801
That's right Binford Tools is proud
to present Tim ''The Tool Man'' Taylor
36
00:03:59,872 --> 00:04:01,931
(cheering)
37
00:04:10,149 --> 00:04:12,982
Last time I promised
construction-site cooking
38
00:04:13,052 --> 00:04:16,647
That's why I invited the guys
at K&B Construction down to the set
39
00:04:16,723 --> 00:04:18,554
Rock Lannigan,
40
00:04:18,625 --> 00:04:22,061
Dwayne Hoover, and Pete Bilker.
How are you doing, Pete?
41
00:04:22,128 --> 00:04:24,255
- Hi, Tim.
- Nice beard.
42
00:04:24,330 --> 00:04:27,629
Well, thank you, Tim.
l grew it because of Al.
43
00:04:27,700 --> 00:04:30,191
He's my hero.
44
00:04:34,007 --> 00:04:36,805
Yeah, mine too.
45
00:04:36,876 --> 00:04:40,334
- Rock, what have you got for us today?
- Well, Tim, l'm a riveter.
46
00:04:40,413 --> 00:04:45,112
l work way up on the high steel and
it makes it hard to get a hot lunch up there,
47
00:04:45,184 --> 00:04:49,143
but l've come up with a quick and easy way
of making a grilled cheese sandwich.
48
00:04:49,222 --> 00:04:51,520
Hear my stomach growling?
49
00:04:51,591 --> 00:04:55,493
You're gonna love this one, Tim.
The fellas call it ''Cheddar la Rock.''
50
00:04:55,561 --> 00:04:56,721
All right.
51
00:04:56,796 --> 00:04:59,094
l use only sharp Wisconsin cheese,
52
00:04:59,165 --> 00:05:04,000
because after all,
in Wisconsin, cheese is cheese.
53
00:05:04,070 --> 00:05:06,504
American cheese from American cows.
54
00:05:06,572 --> 00:05:08,802
(moos)
55
00:05:08,875 --> 00:05:10,740
Look out!
56
00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:14,769
l spread on a generous dollop of oleo
57
00:05:14,847 --> 00:05:16,906
with my trowel,
58
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:20,441
then l take the cheese
and l stick it between the bread.
59
00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:22,886
Good place for it.
60
00:05:22,955 --> 00:05:25,219
And then l...
61
00:05:26,726 --> 00:05:29,661
Tim, l kinda hate
to give this little secret away.
62
00:05:29,729 --> 00:05:32,027
Come on, Rock, let it go.
lt's a Tool Time crowd.
63
00:05:32,098 --> 00:05:34,726
- (grunts)
- (all grunt)
64
00:05:34,801 --> 00:05:37,770
All right, all right.
Pete?
65
00:05:37,837 --> 00:05:43,673
l sprinkle on a little oregano for flavoring,
and then l fire it up.
66
00:05:43,743 --> 00:05:47,304
- What do you use to heat that?
- That's the secret of cooking on site.
67
00:05:47,380 --> 00:05:50,281
l go straight for my bloorch.
68
00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:52,716
That's no ordinary bloorch.
69
00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:57,656
That's the Binford 3000
turbo-ignition switch torch.
70
00:05:57,724 --> 00:06:00,124
Yeah, you betcha, Tim.
71
00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:05,797
See the trick, you gotta toast it,
72
00:06:05,865 --> 00:06:08,425
nice and evenly on both sides,
73
00:06:08,501 --> 00:06:11,834
so that you seal in
that delicious Wisconsin flavor.
74
00:06:11,904 --> 00:06:14,304
Try that, Timmy.
75
00:06:20,113 --> 00:06:21,842
lt's hot!
76
00:06:22,982 --> 00:06:27,043
Might wanna let that cheese
cool down a little bit there.
77
00:06:28,755 --> 00:06:30,655
Oh, l remember that.
78
00:06:30,723 --> 00:06:33,248
That thing tasted terrible.
79
00:06:34,894 --> 00:06:37,158
I'm gonna finish
sanding that table now
80
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:41,064
We've got our belt attached with a rough
grip, and we wanna plug the thing in.
81
00:06:41,134 --> 00:06:44,103
Be sure the trigger switch
is not locked in the ''on'' position.
82
00:06:44,170 --> 00:06:46,434
Any idiot knows that, Al.
83
00:06:51,744 --> 00:06:55,373
Before we get gluing, l want to introduce
Binford's new miracle glue.
84
00:06:55,448 --> 00:06:59,009
You might want to remind viewers
to be careful when using this glue
85
00:06:59,085 --> 00:07:02,111
because it will bond instantly
to your skin.
86
00:07:02,188 --> 00:07:03,951
Al,
87
00:07:04,023 --> 00:07:08,392
we learned in the first grade
you're not supposed to play with glue.
88
00:07:08,461 --> 00:07:13,865
Well, l was just worried about our viewers'
welfare, as well as your welfare.
89
00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:19,269
- Al, negative thoughts can hurt people.
- l don't have negative thoughts.
90
00:07:19,338 --> 00:07:20,669
- Do too.
- l don't.
91
00:07:20,740 --> 00:07:21,798
- Do too.
- Do not.
92
00:07:21,874 --> 00:07:23,865
- Do.
- Not.
93
00:07:28,381 --> 00:07:30,645
Maybe it would be better
if l just swept up.
94
00:07:30,716 --> 00:07:33,981
Maybe it would be better
if you just swept up, Mr. Negativity.
95
00:07:34,053 --> 00:07:36,146
- Not.
- Do.
96
00:07:37,156 --> 00:07:40,489
You wanna set your laminate
securely on your shimmies, front and back.
97
00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:41,584
Jeez...
98
00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:54,129
Al!
99
00:07:55,374 --> 00:08:00,243
We'll be right back
after these messages from Binford.
100
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:02,474
As you can see by our mock-up here,
101
00:08:02,548 --> 00:08:05,949
we've got our jack studs in place.
Now we're gonna put our header in.
102
00:08:06,018 --> 00:08:09,419
So are you planning on using
a doubled-up two-by-eight?
103
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:13,357
No, l'm not, Bob. l'm thinking about
using that beefy boy over there,
104
00:08:13,426 --> 00:08:16,418
a four-by-eight
big piece of American Doug fir.
105
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:21,866
Doug fir. OK. Folks, it's a good idea to use
your framing square at this point in the job.
106
00:08:21,934 --> 00:08:25,392
- You wanna make sure the header is level.
- Excellent point.
107
00:08:25,471 --> 00:08:28,668
Nothing worse than trying to hang a door
in an opening that isn't true.
108
00:08:28,741 --> 00:08:32,336
- How true, how true.
- Al, l was gonna get to that.
109
00:08:35,882 --> 00:08:39,113
Making their television debut
right here on Tool Time,
110
00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:41,449
K&B and the boys, and Janeen.
111
00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:43,352
Rock, let's roll!
112
00:08:43,422 --> 00:08:45,549
(# ''Home Improvement'' theme tune)
113
00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:48,754
# Ba-ba da-ba
114
00:08:50,730 --> 00:08:53,392
# Ba-ba da-ba ba-da-da
115
00:08:53,466 --> 00:08:57,527
# Ba-da-da ba-da-da ba-da-da-da
116
00:09:08,514 --> 00:09:11,039
Come on, Pete!
Take it, Pete!
117
00:09:11,117 --> 00:09:12,584
Whoo!
118
00:09:45,051 --> 00:09:46,518
Al!
119
00:10:04,904 --> 00:10:07,099
Thank you! Thank you!
120
00:10:07,173 --> 00:10:09,869
Thank you!
121
00:10:09,942 --> 00:10:11,842
Hi, welcome to Tool Time
122
00:10:11,911 --> 00:10:18,077
As you can see, our 1 955 ranch home
needs a lot of work, especially the roof.
123
00:10:18,150 --> 00:10:22,382
You wanna have a professional examine
any weak or discolored areas like these
124
00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:28,451
and make sure they're properly attended
to. For now, we'll hop over to a safer area.
125
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:35,400
lt's a little weak here.
You wanna avoid this area too.
126
00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:37,459
Aah!
127
00:10:41,073 --> 00:10:42,597
Aah!
128
00:10:44,610 --> 00:10:48,205
Ow! That hurt just looking at it again.
129
00:10:50,916 --> 00:10:54,010
Hey, what are you doing up, honey?
130
00:10:54,086 --> 00:10:57,180
Ever since you woke me,
l couldn't get back to sleep.
131
00:10:57,256 --> 00:10:59,554
Oh, sorry.
132
00:10:59,625 --> 00:11:02,617
What happened to your hair?
lt looks horrible.
133
00:11:02,695 --> 00:11:07,189
Well, excuse me. l didn't know
l had to dress for your upset stomach.
134
00:11:07,266 --> 00:11:09,666
Well, l won't look at you that much.
135
00:11:09,735 --> 00:11:11,259
Thank you.
136
00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:14,431
l was starting to feast myself
on old Tool Times.
137
00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:16,873
Speaking of feast,
are there any golabkis left?
138
00:11:16,942 --> 00:11:22,403
lf you even think about a golabki,
l'm gonna file for a divorceki.
139
00:11:22,481 --> 00:11:26,383
l wouldn't worry about other guys
looking at you with your hair like that.
140
00:11:26,452 --> 00:11:28,443
Will you watch
some Tool Times with me?
141
00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:32,514
Well, l can't get back to sleep
any other way.
142
00:11:40,066 --> 00:11:42,091
To get a new floor.
we lift the old floor
143
00:11:42,168 --> 00:11:45,899
That's right. For that
we can use a simple, basic scraper.
144
00:11:45,971 --> 00:11:50,567
But that wouldn't be fun. Let's use Dry lce.
Put Dry lce down and it lifts asphalt tiles.
145
00:11:50,643 --> 00:11:53,578
Actually, Tim, uh...
146
00:11:53,646 --> 00:11:57,013
Using Dry lce, you'd need
an awful lot of Dry lce for that to work.
147
00:11:57,083 --> 00:12:00,109
For once, Al, you're totally correct.
148
00:12:00,186 --> 00:12:04,350
- So what we'll do is, we'll be using the...
- (engine starts)
149
00:12:04,423 --> 00:12:06,857
...the simple, basic scraper.
150
00:12:06,926 --> 00:12:11,158
You can pick this up
at just about any hardware store.
151
00:12:28,948 --> 00:12:33,715
We'll be right back
after these messages from Binford Tools.
152
00:12:33,786 --> 00:12:38,120
Boy, there's a sport with more power.
(grunts)
153
00:12:39,125 --> 00:12:40,285
That's right, Tim.
154
00:12:40,359 --> 00:12:44,295
But the secret is to channel that power
through focus and concentration.
155
00:12:44,363 --> 00:12:45,853
Two things l excel at.
156
00:12:45,931 --> 00:12:51,460
Well, that, and driving yourself
to the hospital while bleeding.
157
00:12:54,673 --> 00:12:57,767
Are you saying
l couldn't break that board with my head?
158
00:12:57,843 --> 00:13:01,404
Well, Tim,
he says it takes focus and concentration.
159
00:13:02,414 --> 00:13:05,781
l think we all know
which one of us has that.
160
00:13:09,955 --> 00:13:12,287
You think you can break this board
with your head?
161
00:13:12,358 --> 00:13:13,882
- Yes, l do.
- Really?
162
00:13:13,959 --> 00:13:17,861
- l don't think it's such a good idea, Al.
- My show here, OK?
163
00:13:18,864 --> 00:13:21,128
You're up to the challenge, right, Al?
164
00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:23,259
lt's all right.
165
00:13:32,144 --> 00:13:33,133
Hii!
166
00:13:33,212 --> 00:13:35,203
(cheering)
167
00:13:41,620 --> 00:13:45,386
- Tim, l don't think that you should try this.
- Hey, quiet, quiet, please.
168
00:13:45,457 --> 00:13:47,516
- One thing you...
- You've said enough.
169
00:13:47,593 --> 00:13:52,963
- Well, you should know...
- lt's my show. lt's my show. l can do this.
170
00:13:58,103 --> 00:13:59,968
Wah, Godzilla!
171
00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:07,407
l was gonna say
l have studied karate, Tim.
172
00:14:07,479 --> 00:14:10,277
Buford Tools... w-w... messages.
We have 'em.
173
00:14:10,349 --> 00:14:12,749
We'll be right back.
174
00:14:16,722 --> 00:14:19,452
Hi. Welcome to this special edition
of Tool Time
175
00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:22,983
l'm Tim ''The Tool Man'' Taylor,
and you know my assistant, Al.
176
00:14:23,062 --> 00:14:27,260
We're here at beautiful Memorial Park,
ready for the big race, with Bob Vila.
177
00:14:27,333 --> 00:14:30,302
l've got this helmet cam
so you'll see exactly what l see.
178
00:14:30,369 --> 00:14:32,803
Hey, Bob,
who do you think is gonna win the race?
179
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:35,739
lt's for charity.
The real winners are the children.
180
00:14:35,808 --> 00:14:38,675
Of course they are, Bob.
The winners are the kids.
181
00:14:38,744 --> 00:14:43,704
ln second place, me,
and a distant third, Bob.
182
00:14:43,782 --> 00:14:45,841
Start your engines.
183
00:15:00,799 --> 00:15:02,460
Ready?
184
00:15:02,534 --> 00:15:04,092
One,
185
00:15:04,169 --> 00:15:05,295
two,
186
00:15:05,371 --> 00:15:07,362
three!
187
00:15:10,476 --> 00:15:13,070
- Nice mower, Bob.
- Thanks, Tim.
188
00:15:13,145 --> 00:15:16,114
l'd love to sit and chat,
but l gotta run.
189
00:15:18,384 --> 00:15:20,352
Oh, boy!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
190
00:15:20,419 --> 00:15:24,014
Look out, buddy.
Look out! Look out! Look out!
191
00:15:35,301 --> 00:15:37,132
Aah!
192
00:15:40,906 --> 00:15:42,601
Aah!
193
00:15:47,613 --> 00:15:50,946
As you can see, l've got
three samples of wood on the workbench.
194
00:15:51,016 --> 00:15:56,682
l'll hand them to Al one at a time. He claims
he can tell us what wood it is by smelling it.
195
00:15:56,755 --> 00:15:58,746
We shall see.
196
00:15:58,824 --> 00:16:02,282
Al Borland, name that wood.
197
00:16:05,097 --> 00:16:07,565
Tim, that's hickory.
198
00:16:14,406 --> 00:16:18,172
Can you believe it, ladies?
This man's single.
199
00:16:19,712 --> 00:16:24,376
Second sample.
Al Borland, name that wood.
200
00:16:27,353 --> 00:16:28,342
- Cedar.
- Hah!
201
00:16:28,420 --> 00:16:30,081
Wait!
202
00:16:33,792 --> 00:16:36,454
Western red cedar.
203
00:16:43,635 --> 00:16:48,129
- You almost messed that one up, Al.
- Well, l'm fighting off a cold, Tim.
204
00:16:49,508 --> 00:16:52,033
Well, this next sample...
205
00:16:54,246 --> 00:16:57,477
should be a little bit more difficult
to discern, Al.
206
00:16:57,549 --> 00:17:02,043
You might have to take a big old whiff
of this thing to figure out what it is.
207
00:17:02,121 --> 00:17:04,385
Well, l'm up to the challenge, Tim.
208
00:17:04,456 --> 00:17:07,357
l certainly hope so, Al.
209
00:17:09,628 --> 00:17:13,394
Al Borland, name that wood.
210
00:17:16,335 --> 00:17:18,269
Oh!
211
00:17:20,139 --> 00:17:25,634
Well, it's... it's a hardwood
from the Pacific Northwest, and...
212
00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:27,338
Ugh!
213
00:17:30,582 --> 00:17:36,077
Well, this particular piece
seems to have some type of a fungus.
214
00:17:40,092 --> 00:17:42,583
Uh, well, uh, uh...
215
00:17:42,661 --> 00:17:43,685
Ugh!
216
00:17:43,762 --> 00:17:46,788
Let me try this again.
217
00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:53,500
- Oh!
- Ohh!
218
00:17:55,140 --> 00:17:57,301
l also have a helpful household hint.
219
00:17:57,376 --> 00:18:01,335
l'm going to show the audience something
you don't ordinarily do with a potato.
220
00:18:01,413 --> 00:18:04,644
- Keep the kids away from the TV set.
- Tim.
221
00:18:05,984 --> 00:18:09,420
Here's a safe way
to take a broken bulb from its socket.
222
00:18:09,488 --> 00:18:13,390
You simply take a cut potato,
jam it into the socket, twist...
223
00:18:13,459 --> 00:18:15,586
And in minutes you have curly fries.
224
00:18:15,661 --> 00:18:19,119
- A wonderful snack for TV time, movies...
- Tim. Tim!
225
00:18:19,198 --> 00:18:24,795
l doubted the razor, but l gave it a chance.
Please do not mock my potato.
226
00:18:24,870 --> 00:18:28,499
You say potato, l say stupid.
227
00:18:28,574 --> 00:18:32,840
Tim, this'll work. You twist, and pull
the broken bulb right out of the socket.
228
00:18:32,911 --> 00:18:36,540
- But first you must...
- Jam it in the light.
229
00:18:42,855 --> 00:18:44,982
...unplug the lamp.
230
00:18:46,258 --> 00:18:49,386
l'd like to introduce Binford's line
of industrial magnets.
231
00:18:49,461 --> 00:18:54,899
The Minimag 1 00 is perfect
for picking up screws and nails.
232
00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:58,562
lt can pick up small tools that have
been dropped behind the workbench,
233
00:18:58,637 --> 00:19:01,367
perhaps the fault of a coworker.
234
00:19:04,243 --> 00:19:07,110
And the Minimag 2000.
235
00:19:07,179 --> 00:19:12,048
Small, but powerful.
1 0 pounds will pick up 400 pounds.
236
00:19:12,117 --> 00:19:15,951
This would suck the Tin Man
right through a keyhole.
237
00:19:16,021 --> 00:19:20,014
Well, it was designed to pick up sheet
metal, so you want to keep it pointed...
238
00:19:20,092 --> 00:19:21,821
Tim.
239
00:19:23,862 --> 00:19:25,853
No, no, just slide it.
240
00:19:25,931 --> 00:19:27,922
Slide it down.
241
00:19:30,569 --> 00:19:32,400
Tim.
242
00:19:35,574 --> 00:19:37,735
Pretty powerful little thing, isn't it?
243
00:19:37,809 --> 00:19:39,800
(feedback)
244
00:19:43,782 --> 00:19:45,443
Marv, hold it back!
Marv!
245
00:19:51,890 --> 00:19:55,758
We'll be right back
after these messages from Binford.
246
00:19:58,463 --> 00:20:00,124
Wait a minute.
247
00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:04,898
Get this rope here,
attach it here to my biner,
248
00:20:04,970 --> 00:20:07,336
then you can head down
towards that Porta-Potti.
249
00:20:07,406 --> 00:20:10,170
- Tim, be careful.
- l don't know, Al, l...
250
00:20:10,609 --> 00:20:11,598
Oh!
251
00:20:11,677 --> 00:20:13,770
Aah!
252
00:20:20,919 --> 00:20:23,012
(Al) Tim!
Are you all right?
253
00:20:23,088 --> 00:20:26,148
This is...
Are you awake?
254
00:20:27,159 --> 00:20:28,990
Jill?
255
00:20:32,464 --> 00:20:34,455
Uh, Jill?
256
00:20:38,704 --> 00:20:41,571
l'm just gonna make myself
a little kielbasa omelet,
257
00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:44,040
with a hint of golabki.
258
00:20:50,315 --> 00:20:51,782
Oh.
259
00:20:51,850 --> 00:20:55,286
This is a good part.
This is great stuff.
260
00:20:55,354 --> 00:20:58,118
To John Q Primitive Man.
this was his source of fire
261
00:20:58,190 --> 00:21:00,920
They'd try to get a spark
to get the kindling moving.
262
00:21:00,993 --> 00:21:03,894
You should be careful
because you could start a fire.
263
00:21:03,962 --> 00:21:07,557
- Like l'm really gonna start a fire.
- Well, that's the... Tim.
264
00:21:07,633 --> 00:21:10,932
- Al, Al, Al...
- Tim, you're on fire.
265
00:21:11,937 --> 00:21:16,499
lndeed l am, Al. And l've done this to teach
the kids out there an important lesson.
266
00:21:16,575 --> 00:21:20,067
Don't play with sticks. They can
put your eye out or ignite your forearm.
267
00:21:20,145 --> 00:21:22,477
Al, could you help me out here?
268
00:21:25,350 --> 00:21:30,253
l think we should bid John farewell
in the Tool Time fashion -
269
00:21:30,322 --> 00:21:36,557
a little tribute to John Binford
with a Binford 21 -nail-gun salute.
270
00:21:42,167 --> 00:21:45,227
Do you think
this isn't a little dangerous, Tim?
271
00:21:45,304 --> 00:21:49,297
No, wait.
Warren, the protective drop cloth, please.
272
00:21:49,374 --> 00:21:52,935
- Have you tried this?
- The drop cloth will collect all of the nails.
273
00:21:53,011 --> 00:21:57,448
- Well, you've tried this?
- Hold on, hold on, hold on.
274
00:21:59,484 --> 00:22:03,147
- Klaus, some music, please.
- (# bugle and drum play ''Taps'"))
275
00:22:07,759 --> 00:22:10,557
So long, Johnny.
276
00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:23,601
Look, Tim, just be careful.
277
00:22:23,675 --> 00:22:25,108
Tim!
278
00:22:26,745 --> 00:22:29,509
(music trails o
279
00:22:39,124 --> 00:22:42,753
Hey, that's all from our show today.
l'm Tim ''The Tool Man'' Taylor.
280
00:22:42,828 --> 00:22:45,763
l've gotta get out of here.
281
00:22:45,831 --> 00:22:49,392
Today, Al and l will be
talking about fencing.
282
00:22:49,468 --> 00:22:53,302
ln order to do that,
l'm gonna need my dueling dowel.
283
00:22:53,372 --> 00:22:55,738
- Heidi?
- Here you go, Tim.
284
00:22:55,807 --> 00:22:58,537
- Thanks, Heidi.
- You're welcome.
285
00:23:01,646 --> 00:23:04,945
- En garde, fella. Come on, Flannel Man.
- Tim.
286
00:23:05,517 --> 00:23:06,984
Tim. Tim.
287
00:23:07,052 --> 00:23:09,043
He's scared.
288
00:23:09,121 --> 00:23:15,117
This is not the type of fencing we're talking
about. We'll be talking about the classic...
289
00:23:40,786 --> 00:23:44,244
To show the advantages of soundproofing,
the crew and l got here early
290
00:23:44,322 --> 00:23:47,985
and constructed a special room.
Heidi, my room, please.
291
00:23:49,528 --> 00:23:55,262
This will protect you from the elements,
keep you warm, but it's also soundproof.
292
00:23:55,333 --> 00:23:58,666
- Here you go, Tim.
- Thank you, Heidi.
293
00:24:00,839 --> 00:24:04,832
Watch this. You can't hear a word.
lt's so good. Talking like this, you walk in.
294
00:24:04,910 --> 00:24:08,505
Hi, everybody. lt's just great to be here.
My name's Tim ''The Tool...''
295
00:24:08,580 --> 00:24:10,571
(mouths)
296
00:24:22,627 --> 00:24:25,289
Aah!
297
00:24:25,363 --> 00:24:27,354
(applause)
298
00:24:34,139 --> 00:24:36,630
That is truly amazing.
We did not hear a sound.
299
00:24:36,708 --> 00:24:42,704
No, that's how it was designed. You've
gotta try it. Let yourself go. lt's great. Yeah.
300
00:24:45,517 --> 00:24:49,112
- Tim, can you hear me?
- (Tim mouths)
301
00:24:49,187 --> 00:24:51,178
You can't hear me?
302
00:24:51,256 --> 00:24:54,919
ln that case,
l should be the host of this show.
303
00:24:56,127 --> 00:25:01,690
And another thing, that's a stupid haircut
you have. And another thing...
304
00:25:01,766 --> 00:25:04,462
# l am the very model
of a modern major general
305
00:25:04,536 --> 00:25:07,027
# l've information vegetable,
animal and mineral
306
00:25:07,105 --> 00:25:10,370
# l know the kings of England
and l quote the fights historical
307
00:25:10,442 --> 00:25:13,411
# From Marathon to Waterloo,
in order categorical
308
00:25:13,478 --> 00:25:15,469
- Al.
- Yes.
309
00:25:15,547 --> 00:25:18,311
- Al.
- Yes?
310
00:25:24,623 --> 00:25:27,319
Can you hear me?
311
00:25:28,226 --> 00:25:30,694
l can hear you.
312
00:25:36,334 --> 00:25:38,325
Think about that.
313
00:25:45,477 --> 00:25:48,344
Major General Borland.
314
00:25:50,415 --> 00:25:52,645
Give a Tool Time welcome
to the astronauts,
315
00:25:52,717 --> 00:25:55,845
- the crew of the ndeavour space shuttle.
- (cheering)
316
00:26:07,899 --> 00:26:09,867
Let's meet Mission Commander
Dick Covey.
317
00:26:09,935 --> 00:26:12,927
- How are you doing, sir?
- Very good, Tim.
318
00:26:14,339 --> 00:26:18,503
Well, Dick supervised the entire servicing
of the Hubble Space Telescope.
319
00:26:18,577 --> 00:26:21,546
What's it like
working with tools in outer space?
320
00:26:21,613 --> 00:26:24,343
Well, Tim, it's a lot like
using tools here on Earth,
321
00:26:24,416 --> 00:26:30,377
except there's no gravity, so you don't have
to worry about dropping a tool on your foot.
322
00:26:33,258 --> 00:26:36,989
Sounds like the perfect
working environment for you, Tim.
323
00:26:39,230 --> 00:26:44,065
- He's very funny.
- Yeah. A regular astro-nut.
324
00:26:45,637 --> 00:26:47,730
Tim, it's pronounced astro-naut.
325
00:26:47,806 --> 00:26:50,775
Yeah, l know that.
lt was a little joke.
326
00:26:50,842 --> 00:26:54,039
Oh, sorry.
l had no idea.
327
00:26:59,217 --> 00:27:04,780
Wow! Tools from space. What l wouldn't
give to have one of these on my shop wall.
328
00:27:04,856 --> 00:27:07,689
That's a three-eighths-inch drive
McTether ratchet.
329
00:27:07,759 --> 00:27:11,251
They use this
for playing McTetherball out there.
330
00:27:15,667 --> 00:27:17,134
And next we have a...
331
00:27:17,202 --> 00:27:21,935
Hey, where's my power tool
with the adjustable extension?
332
00:27:26,311 --> 00:27:30,008
- You probably forgot to bring it.
- No, l saw you working with it earlier.
333
00:27:30,081 --> 00:27:32,072
- l wasn't working with it.
- You were.
334
00:27:32,150 --> 00:27:36,086
- Tim, is this what you're looking for?
- Oh, that!
335
00:27:36,154 --> 00:27:39,817
- Heidi, where'd you find that?
- Doesn't matter where. She found it.
336
00:27:39,891 --> 00:27:42,121
lt was in Tim's locker.
337
00:27:45,363 --> 00:27:48,799
(high-pitched)
Well, l... See, l...
338
00:27:48,867 --> 00:27:52,132
(normal) l was gonna bring it back.
lt was just... l thought...
339
00:27:52,203 --> 00:27:54,467
Whooh!
340
00:27:54,539 --> 00:27:59,841
- Taylor, we're gonna need this back too.
- How did that get in there?
341
00:28:00,779 --> 00:28:04,579
Last time l was telling you how bathrooms
have become a woman's domain.
342
00:28:04,649 --> 00:28:08,107
Not anymore. The crew and l
designed and built the bathroom for men.
343
00:28:08,186 --> 00:28:12,885
- Guys, bring out my bathroom.
- (# ''Also sprach arathustra'' by Strauss)
344
00:28:25,770 --> 00:28:27,761
(applause)
345
00:28:38,883 --> 00:28:41,215
A man's can, a John's john.
346
00:28:41,286 --> 00:28:44,187
This will be
on every man's Christmas list this year.
347
00:28:44,255 --> 00:28:47,782
We'll go through a typical male day
in the bathroom. l get up, l scratch,
348
00:28:47,859 --> 00:28:50,692
l get in the bathroom.
349
00:28:50,762 --> 00:28:52,855
First l wanna get rid of morning breath.
350
00:28:52,931 --> 00:28:55,798
You've got everything here you need.
You've got soap.
351
00:28:55,867 --> 00:28:59,496
You've got a little bit of your mouthwash.
352
00:29:00,505 --> 00:29:03,872
No, that's the soap.
That's the mouthwash.
353
00:29:06,311 --> 00:29:11,112
To get deep-down manly dirt off, you've
gotta jump in your multihead shower.
354
00:29:11,182 --> 00:29:13,207
Oh, oh, oh!
355
00:29:13,284 --> 00:29:16,253
Oh, oh! Oh, oh!
356
00:29:16,321 --> 00:29:22,089
Hop out, stand over your built-in
floor drain. Gotta get dry real quick.
357
00:29:26,998 --> 00:29:30,525
l'm dry. Well, ready to shave.
l can't shave in the dark.
358
00:29:30,602 --> 00:29:34,629
l'll need my trusty headlights.
359
00:29:35,340 --> 00:29:39,970
Also useful in case a deer
wanders into your bathroom.
360
00:29:40,945 --> 00:29:45,177
For those pesky nose hairs,
you flip on your brights.
361
00:29:51,322 --> 00:29:53,586
All right, all right.
362
00:29:54,626 --> 00:29:57,720
Well...
The bathroom has everything,
363
00:29:57,796 --> 00:30:02,324
including the brand-new
La-Z-Bowl reclining toilet.
364
00:30:06,437 --> 00:30:07,768
(applause)
365
00:30:07,839 --> 00:30:09,466
Yes.
366
00:30:15,046 --> 00:30:17,480
lt's plush when you flush.
367
00:30:18,650 --> 00:30:21,585
Guys are going, ''lf you spend
so much time in the bathroom,
368
00:30:21,653 --> 00:30:26,716
''you won't know what's going on
in the big game.'' Got it covered.
369
00:30:29,260 --> 00:30:30,955
Come on!
Go! Go!
370
00:30:36,801 --> 00:30:39,599
(''Tool Time'' video plays uietly)
371
00:30:52,483 --> 00:30:54,917
- Wilson.
- Nighty-ho, good neighbor.
372
00:30:55,553 --> 00:30:57,885
What are you barbecuing at 4am for?
373
00:30:58,456 --> 00:31:01,857
Well, it may be 4am in Detroit,
but it's dinnertime in Mindanao.
374
00:31:01,926 --> 00:31:03,086
(Tim) Huh?
375
00:31:03,161 --> 00:31:05,959
Tonight is their annual
Zamboanga festival.
376
00:31:06,030 --> 00:31:08,225
Zamboanga?
377
00:31:08,299 --> 00:31:13,532
l love watching those bad boys
clear the ice before a hockey game, huh?
378
00:31:14,138 --> 00:31:19,804
No, no, Tim. The festival is a celebration
of multiculturalism in the Philippines.
379
00:31:20,411 --> 00:31:23,471
- Would you like some barbecued pork?
- (groans)
380
00:31:24,482 --> 00:31:28,418
No, l'm battling a gutful of Polish food.
l overdid it tonight.
381
00:31:28,486 --> 00:31:30,852
Hm. Well, as the Roman poet Lucan said:
382
00:31:30,922 --> 00:31:34,915
''Keep to moderation,
keep the end in view, follow nature.''
383
00:31:34,993 --> 00:31:38,929
Well, my end
has been following nature all night.
384
00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:44,662
l'll never do that again.
385
00:31:45,937 --> 00:31:49,168
Although that pork
is smelling mighty good.
386
00:31:49,507 --> 00:31:51,236
Go to bed, Tim.
387
00:31:51,309 --> 00:31:53,800
(mimics Wilson) Oh, OK, Wilson.
388
00:31:56,848 --> 00:32:01,410
(Al) This works with more than footballs
You can duplicate your favorite colors
389
00:32:01,486 --> 00:32:03,852
(Tim) That's right - antifreeze green.
390
00:32:03,922 --> 00:32:06,015
road kill gray
391
00:32:07,025 --> 00:32:09,789
Oh, boy, l don't wanna miss this.
392
00:32:09,861 --> 00:32:13,991
But today. we develop a color
just for ''Tool Time'' - the color Al
393
00:32:15,466 --> 00:32:18,333
- Excuse me, Tim?
- l'm gonna make a color out of you.
394
00:32:18,403 --> 00:32:20,928
You'll be bigger than fuchsia.
395
00:32:21,940 --> 00:32:23,999
- This is ridiculous.
- Let's show them.
396
00:32:24,075 --> 00:32:26,976
- No, it's not what the machine...
- Come on, play along.
397
00:32:27,045 --> 00:32:29,878
Al, just put your finger in there.
398
00:32:29,948 --> 00:32:31,540
There you go.
399
00:32:31,616 --> 00:32:33,447
OK.
400
00:32:35,820 --> 00:32:38,380
One part pasty white,
two parts flannel. OK.
401
00:32:40,959 --> 00:32:42,984
Oh, yeah.
402
00:32:43,061 --> 00:32:48,055
Now we've got a bucket of Al,
l'm ready to paint with big Al here. OK.
403
00:32:48,132 --> 00:32:52,000
Of course,
Al is economical in the gallon size here.
404
00:32:52,070 --> 00:32:54,698
Al goes on smooth, just like that.
405
00:32:54,772 --> 00:32:57,240
(laughter and cheers)
406
00:33:21,299 --> 00:33:23,597
Welcome to drywall week
here on Tool Time
407
00:33:23,668 --> 00:33:29,402
l am Tim ''The Tool Man'' Taylor, and you
all know my assistant, Plump Al Stiltskin.
408
00:33:29,474 --> 00:33:31,533
(cheering)
409
00:33:33,444 --> 00:33:35,935
Thank you. Thank you.
410
00:33:36,014 --> 00:33:41,008
l'm wearing these stilts to show you a
handy way to put up drywall ceiling panels.
411
00:33:41,085 --> 00:33:44,248
This is all well and good
if you have a traditional ten-foot ceiling,
412
00:33:44,322 --> 00:33:48,486
but let's say l want to do
a remodel on the Sistine Chapel.
413
00:33:49,093 --> 00:33:54,326
Well, l don't think you'd be
their first choice as contractor.
414
00:33:57,035 --> 00:33:58,559
Stick with me here, OK?
415
00:33:58,636 --> 00:34:02,504
Guys, raise this up
to the Sistine Chapel level.
416
00:34:04,542 --> 00:34:08,808
Let's say you wanna smooth out those
chubby cherubs with some wallboard
417
00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:10,871
but the stilts only go up to 48 inches.
418
00:34:10,948 --> 00:34:13,746
That's why l use these. Heidi?
419
00:34:15,286 --> 00:34:18,687
My pneumatic drywall stilts.
420
00:34:22,093 --> 00:34:26,530
- Pneumatic drywall stilts?
- ls there an echo in the building?
421
00:34:28,132 --> 00:34:30,362
- How high can they go?
- The sky's the limit.
422
00:34:30,435 --> 00:34:33,427
Want to go up, press this lever up.
423
00:34:34,906 --> 00:34:37,841
Third floor, lingerie.
Ding ding ding.
424
00:34:40,344 --> 00:34:43,973
- l'm very impressed, Tim.
- Watch this. l want to reverse the process,
425
00:34:44,048 --> 00:34:49,953
and go down to the bargain basement
where you picked up that shirt, press here.
426
00:34:54,025 --> 00:34:56,289
Here we have
left-handed pruning shears.
427
00:34:56,360 --> 00:34:59,261
lf you go with these,
your pruning will move a lot faster.
428
00:34:59,330 --> 00:35:02,595
lf you go with prunes,
you'll move a lot faster.
429
00:35:02,667 --> 00:35:06,262
Let's show the audience how two lefties
can prune with left-handed tools.
430
00:35:06,337 --> 00:35:09,738
- My pleasure.
- We'll see who's the quicker shearer here.
431
00:35:09,807 --> 00:35:13,265
- Yes, we will.
- Klaus, some pruning music, please.
432
00:35:13,344 --> 00:35:16,108
(# ''Saber Dance'' by Khachaturian)
433
00:35:35,032 --> 00:35:39,696
Now the moment we've all been waiting for,
the man's kitchen. A guy's galley.
434
00:35:39,770 --> 00:35:42,330
l am man, hear me roast.
435
00:35:42,406 --> 00:35:44,101
(grunts)
436
00:35:44,175 --> 00:35:46,609
- What do you say we start her up?
- That's right.
437
00:35:46,677 --> 00:35:49,009
The only kitchen
that has an ignition system.
438
00:35:51,282 --> 00:35:53,682
(engine stutters)
439
00:35:56,187 --> 00:35:57,950
Come on! Come on.
440
00:35:58,022 --> 00:36:04,018
Well, maybe we should get jumper cables
and hook it up to another kitchen.
441
00:36:05,163 --> 00:36:07,825
- l think l got it.
- (engine starts)
442
00:36:07,899 --> 00:36:10,094
Listen to that baby purr.
443
00:36:10,168 --> 00:36:13,660
Now let's step inside
and take a tour of the man's kitchen.
444
00:36:13,738 --> 00:36:15,865
(cheering)
445
00:36:21,279 --> 00:36:23,270
(grunts)
446
00:36:26,217 --> 00:36:32,486
Well, for most men, there's only two kinds
of vegetables - your beans and potatoes.
447
00:36:32,557 --> 00:36:35,890
- l had my beans yesterday.
- l know.
448
00:36:38,629 --> 00:36:40,722
Now, potatoes, hmm, hard to cook.
449
00:36:40,798 --> 00:36:45,030
When a guys wants to eat, he wants to eat.
He can't wait for seconds on a microwave.
450
00:36:45,102 --> 00:36:48,663
That's why we've got
the Binford macrowave.
451
00:36:51,375 --> 00:36:54,936
Three convenient power settings -
''high,'' ''really high,''
452
00:36:55,012 --> 00:36:57,947
and, ''split your own atoms.''
453
00:36:58,950 --> 00:37:02,181
Now, Tim, won't this put out
a little too much radiation?
454
00:37:02,253 --> 00:37:04,312
Hm, that's a good safety tip, Al.
455
00:37:04,388 --> 00:37:07,323
That's why we're equipped with these.
456
00:37:10,294 --> 00:37:12,353
Lead vests.
457
00:37:14,765 --> 00:37:19,361
Also useful in case Superman
wants to take a peek at your underwear.
458
00:37:20,338 --> 00:37:23,273
No problem there.
l'm not wearing any.
459
00:37:32,016 --> 00:37:34,883
Don't overcook it.
lt's in there a couple of seconds.
460
00:37:34,952 --> 00:37:37,420
Now, don't look directly at the potato.
461
00:37:43,995 --> 00:37:45,986
(macrowave pings)
462
00:37:52,303 --> 00:37:55,295
A man's refrigerator.
Stainless steel doors, big cubic inches.
463
00:37:55,373 --> 00:37:58,137
What do men dream about
having in a refrigerator?
464
00:37:58,209 --> 00:38:00,973
That's simple, Tim.
A butcher.
465
00:38:04,782 --> 00:38:07,376
- Benny, how are you doing?
- Hey, Tim.
466
00:38:07,451 --> 00:38:09,681
- Hi, Al. What will it be today?
- Hey, Benny.
467
00:38:09,754 --> 00:38:13,383
l don't know.
l got a hankering for a thick porterhouse.
468
00:38:13,457 --> 00:38:15,516
Good choice.
469
00:38:18,763 --> 00:38:21,926
l'll take the petite filet mignon.
470
00:38:21,999 --> 00:38:24,399
lt takes all kinds.
471
00:38:25,670 --> 00:38:29,197
- Here you go.
- Good-looking meat. Thanks. Stay cool.
472
00:38:31,609 --> 00:38:34,601
All right, we flip them on our grill.
473
00:38:36,647 --> 00:38:41,550
You don't wanna overcook 'em,
you just want 'em flame-kissed.
474
00:38:47,825 --> 00:38:50,453
Ding!
They're done. All right.
475
00:38:51,462 --> 00:38:53,362
(moos)
476
00:38:53,431 --> 00:38:55,763
Still moving, Al.
477
00:38:59,737 --> 00:39:02,262
Now we're ready
to put on our seasoning.
478
00:39:02,340 --> 00:39:07,573
Right. We've got hot sauce, steak sauce,
barbecue sauce. What's your pick?
479
00:39:07,645 --> 00:39:09,909
Not one of those.
l'd like a pinch of salt.
480
00:39:09,980 --> 00:39:12,244
You got it, friend.
481
00:39:17,488 --> 00:39:19,752
l am Tim ''The Cool Man'' Taylor.
482
00:39:19,824 --> 00:39:23,385
And you all know my assistant,
the King, Al-vis.
483
00:39:23,461 --> 00:39:25,986
(imitating lvis) Thank you.
Thank you very much.
484
00:39:26,063 --> 00:39:28,361
Today, we're gonna have
a rocking good time,
485
00:39:28,432 --> 00:39:33,233
because we're gonna be
building ourselves a rocking chair.
486
00:39:34,305 --> 00:39:37,035
This is the last theme show
we're gonna do.
487
00:39:37,108 --> 00:39:39,201
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
488
00:39:39,276 --> 00:39:41,608
- A rocking...
- Could we?
489
00:39:41,679 --> 00:39:45,012
All right. Well, yesterday,
if you remember,
490
00:39:45,082 --> 00:39:48,882
we bent the wood for the frame of our chair
by putting it in this steamer box.
491
00:39:48,953 --> 00:39:51,854
The steam made the wood pliable
and easy to shape.
492
00:39:51,922 --> 00:39:54,482
We're ready to make
the legs and posts of our chair,
493
00:39:54,558 --> 00:39:57,891
using the Binford 61 00
variable-speed wood lathe.
494
00:39:57,962 --> 00:40:02,763
That's right. Now, we first use a rough
gouge to take off the square edges.
495
00:40:02,833 --> 00:40:06,564
Then Al will use a half-inch
round nose to start shaping our piece.
496
00:40:06,637 --> 00:40:09,162
Marv, bring the camera
and let's take a look at this.
497
00:40:09,240 --> 00:40:13,267
There are various types of patterns
to shape your legs.
498
00:40:13,344 --> 00:40:17,610
Or you can do it freehand.
lt's a very difficult skill to master.
499
00:40:17,681 --> 00:40:20,275
You might wanna practice
on a spare piece of wood.
500
00:40:20,351 --> 00:40:22,945
That's good advice.
l'll give you more good advice.
501
00:40:23,020 --> 00:40:25,511
Always think safety
when working with a lathe.
502
00:40:25,589 --> 00:40:27,853
You'll notice l didn't wear a necktie.
503
00:40:27,925 --> 00:40:30,621
You want nothing hanging down
and no loose clothing.
504
00:40:30,694 --> 00:40:33,219
- The possibility...
- (laughter)
505
00:40:33,297 --> 00:40:35,288
Let me finish.
506
00:40:36,066 --> 00:40:38,057
Sometimes...
507
00:40:47,611 --> 00:40:52,878
lf you get too close to a lathe,
you could lose an article of clothing.
508
00:40:52,950 --> 00:40:56,010
ls it a little chilly in here?
509
00:40:56,086 --> 00:40:59,146
Hi, and welcome
to a special live edition of Tool Time
510
00:40:59,223 --> 00:41:04,525
Today, we're gonna show you the
operation of a 25-ton hydraulic truck crane.
511
00:41:04,595 --> 00:41:06,927
(grunts)
512
00:41:06,997 --> 00:41:11,730
That's right. We're gonna be using this
crane to pick up and set a three-ton beam
513
00:41:11,802 --> 00:41:15,397
which will be used as a diagonal brace,
also known as a kicker.
514
00:41:15,473 --> 00:41:18,931
So you could call this
a kicker picker-upper.
515
00:41:19,009 --> 00:41:22,843
- This is the lever to raise the beam, right?
- Yes, but don't... No, Tim!
516
00:41:22,913 --> 00:41:25,074
l'm doing it.
l got it! l got it!
517
00:41:25,149 --> 00:41:27,845
l'm beaming up, Scotty.
518
00:41:30,254 --> 00:41:33,621
- OK, Al, now what?
- OK, hit the foot brake.
519
00:41:33,691 --> 00:41:37,058
Lock the beam in place.
Right now.
520
00:41:37,127 --> 00:41:39,118
OK. Now, get out of the cab.
521
00:41:39,196 --> 00:41:44,156
Tim's getting out of the cab, and l'm going
to move the beam right into place.
522
00:41:44,235 --> 00:41:47,170
As you go out, be careful.
Don't hit the brake release.
523
00:41:47,238 --> 00:41:49,763
OK. This is the lever
that would swing the beam?
524
00:41:49,840 --> 00:41:53,332
Yes, it is,
but, Tim... Tim!
525
00:41:53,410 --> 00:41:56,504
- Al, are you all right?
- (Al) Marv, look out!
526
00:41:59,884 --> 00:42:02,853
Tim, your foot!
Don't hit the brake release!
527
00:42:02,920 --> 00:42:04,478
What?
528
00:42:24,775 --> 00:42:27,608
Honey. Honey, honey.
Honey, come on. Wake up.
529
00:42:27,678 --> 00:42:30,613
This is the Tool Time pilot.
530
00:42:30,681 --> 00:42:32,740
lt's groundbreaking TV.
531
00:42:35,085 --> 00:42:39,044
Does everybody know what time it is?
532
00:42:44,628 --> 00:42:46,095
Tool Time
533
00:42:46,163 --> 00:42:48,961
That's correct.
534
00:42:49,033 --> 00:42:54,665
Binford Tools is happy
to present your host, Tom Taylor.
535
00:42:54,738 --> 00:42:57,468
(# cheesy music)
536
00:43:02,012 --> 00:43:05,778
Thank you, Mrs. Binford.
lt's Tim Taylor.
537
00:43:06,450 --> 00:43:12,184
Well, welcome, audience,
to the premiere episode of Tool Time
538
00:43:12,256 --> 00:43:15,282
lt's a show that celebrates
men and their tools.
539
00:43:15,359 --> 00:43:20,797
Before we get to our project today, l'd like
to bring out an assistant we hired for me.
540
00:43:20,864 --> 00:43:24,300
We auditioned all through Detroit,
a lot of professional men,
541
00:43:24,368 --> 00:43:30,568
and this is the guy
that would work for the money we offered.
542
00:43:30,641 --> 00:43:35,271
Let's bring him out. A contractor, a master
plumber, and a Pisces - Albert Borland.
543
00:43:35,346 --> 00:43:37,746
Come on out, Albert.
544
00:43:45,789 --> 00:43:48,280
Good to have you here.
545
00:43:50,060 --> 00:43:52,119
Hi.
546
00:43:57,034 --> 00:44:01,562
We've leveled our dirt, we got some form
up. Al, you guide us the rest of the way.
547
00:44:01,639 --> 00:44:04,733
We've done just about everything
until we pour the concrete.
548
00:44:04,808 --> 00:44:07,572
So all we need to do is set the stakes,
close in the form.
549
00:44:07,645 --> 00:44:13,208
Exactly! We need a sledgehammer for that.
Mrs. Binford?
550
00:44:13,283 --> 00:44:18,016
- There you go, Tom.
- Thank you, Mrs. Been-in-the-sauce.
551
00:44:22,693 --> 00:44:25,457
All right.
Will you hold the stake while l drive her in?
552
00:44:25,529 --> 00:44:30,899
l'd be pleased to, Tim. With an expert
like Tim, l know l'm in good hands.
553
00:44:30,968 --> 00:44:32,799
- (thump)
- (Al) Ow ! Ow !
554
00:44:32,870 --> 00:44:34,633
My hand!
555
00:44:34,705 --> 00:44:37,868
Ow ! That hurt!
556
00:44:37,941 --> 00:44:41,274
How did a person like you
get a show like this?
557
00:44:41,345 --> 00:44:44,246
Wha
Ow ! Ow !
558
00:44:50,921 --> 00:44:52,320
...get to that.
559
00:44:53,490 --> 00:44:54,923
Aah!
560
00:44:54,992 --> 00:44:57,358
...jam it in the light.
561
00:44:57,428 --> 00:44:59,521
Marv!
562
00:45:05,502 --> 00:45:07,129
Aah!