1 00:00:02,402 --> 00:00:04,097 - Hi, guys. - Hi, Mom. 2 00:00:04,170 --> 00:00:05,398 - Hi, Mom. - Hi, Mom. 3 00:00:05,472 --> 00:00:10,239 l picked up my suit for the wedding. Now l have to figure out what you guys will wear. 4 00:00:10,310 --> 00:00:14,007 We'd be wearing a big smile if we didn't have to go. 5 00:00:15,515 --> 00:00:19,076 l'm the only sister who can come. We have to represent the Patterson girls. 6 00:00:19,152 --> 00:00:22,280 A lifelong dream of mine. 7 00:00:22,355 --> 00:00:26,189 - Oh, come on. lt's gonna be fun. - lt's gonna be torture. 8 00:00:26,259 --> 00:00:28,625 We'll be near one of the best water-skiing lakes, 9 00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:31,892 and we'll be stuck with our boring relatives the whole time. 10 00:00:31,965 --> 00:00:34,229 My relatives aren't boring! 11 00:00:34,300 --> 00:00:36,325 They're odd. 12 00:00:37,370 --> 00:00:39,531 But that's what makes them fun. 13 00:00:39,606 --> 00:00:41,233 What sounds like more fun? 14 00:00:41,307 --> 00:00:45,710 Water skiing or watching Aunt Edna take out her teeth? 15 00:00:45,779 --> 00:00:48,111 They're both fun. 16 00:00:48,181 --> 00:00:51,878 lf we can fit in any vacation while we're up in Traverse City, great. 17 00:00:51,951 --> 00:00:55,580 But your father and l agreed that this trip is about my cousin's wedding. 18 00:00:55,655 --> 00:00:58,055 Hey! Hey, guys! 19 00:01:01,027 --> 00:01:03,325 - All right! - Cool Boogie Boards! 20 00:01:03,396 --> 00:01:07,833 - What is all that? - Stuff l borrowed for the wedding. 21 00:01:09,536 --> 00:01:14,439 And do you plan to use the Boogie Board for the ceremony or the reception? 22 00:01:14,507 --> 00:01:18,375 l'll just wait to see what everyone else is doing. 23 00:01:18,445 --> 00:01:21,005 Wow! This is gonna be a really cool wedding. 24 00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:23,606 Not only that, Al's going up to Wilson's cabin. 25 00:01:23,683 --> 00:01:28,245 He's gonna fly-fish. We can join them. lf there's time, water skiing and off-roading. 26 00:01:28,321 --> 00:01:30,380 - Rad! - Cool! Offroading would be awesome. 27 00:01:30,457 --> 00:01:34,120 There's not gonna be any time for all that. Here, guys. You do this. 28 00:01:34,194 --> 00:01:39,325 How long does a wedding take? lt's ''l do,'' ''l do,'' cut the cake, we're on the lake. 29 00:01:39,399 --> 00:01:41,196 There's not just the wedding. 30 00:01:41,267 --> 00:01:44,134 We got the family barbecue, rehearsal dinner, rehearsal. 31 00:01:44,204 --> 00:01:47,640 And don't forget Aunt Edna's surprise birthday brunch. 32 00:01:47,707 --> 00:01:49,868 l'm not gonna miss any of the family events. 33 00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:53,435 l am really looking forward to Carol and Tom's wedding. 34 00:01:53,513 --> 00:01:56,038 Lisa and Jeff. 35 00:01:58,451 --> 00:02:01,682 l'm looking forward to their wedding, too. 36 00:03:08,988 --> 00:03:11,650 (Jill) Tim. do you have to drive so fast? 37 00:03:11,724 --> 00:03:16,388 I just want to make sure I don't miss one minute of that arrival dinner 38 00:03:16,462 --> 00:03:20,398 Yeah. right What activity are you trying to sueeze in before the dinner? 39 00:03:20,466 --> 00:03:23,765 - Water-skiing? - Absolutely not 40 00:03:23,836 --> 00:03:26,270 (Mark) We're going fly-fishing 41 00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:37,074 - Oh, isn't this cute? - lt's real cute. Yeah. 42 00:03:37,150 --> 00:03:39,141 - Look. They gave us fruit. - Cute fruit. 43 00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:41,585 Boys, your room is through here. Hurry up. 44 00:03:41,654 --> 00:03:45,920 That last pit stop of your mom's cost us, like, 1 2 minutes. 45 00:03:45,992 --> 00:03:51,259 Excuse me. l just didn't feel comfortable using a coffee can at 55 miles per hour. 46 00:03:53,333 --> 00:03:56,632 That's too bad. That's one of the perks of driving by car. 47 00:03:56,703 --> 00:03:58,933 l'll try to remember that next time. 48 00:03:59,005 --> 00:04:03,908 - You don't want to go fly-fishing with us? - l gotta work on that poem for the wedding. 49 00:04:03,977 --> 00:04:05,740 All right. 50 00:04:07,513 --> 00:04:09,174 - Tim? - Huh? 51 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:10,580 Hi! 52 00:04:10,650 --> 00:04:14,882 - lt's great to see you again. - lt is. 53 00:04:14,954 --> 00:04:18,913 - You don't know who l am, do you? - No, l don't. 54 00:04:18,992 --> 00:04:21,984 l'm Bonnie, Jill's second cousin. 55 00:04:22,061 --> 00:04:24,325 Uncle Tubby's daughter? 56 00:04:24,397 --> 00:04:25,830 Oh, yeah. 57 00:04:25,898 --> 00:04:28,628 Gosh, how is Uncle Tubby doing? 58 00:04:28,701 --> 00:04:31,465 He's been dead for ten years. 59 00:04:32,372 --> 00:04:35,068 So he's doing the same then, isn't he? 60 00:04:35,141 --> 00:04:37,575 Right. Anyway, some good news. 61 00:04:37,644 --> 00:04:41,444 l just put together an early arrival cocktail party. 62 00:04:41,514 --> 00:04:46,076 - Doesn't that sound like just too much fun? - Oh, way too much! 63 00:04:47,353 --> 00:04:49,321 - l don't think we can make it. - Hi. 64 00:04:49,389 --> 00:04:50,947 - Jill! - We'll be there. 65 00:04:51,024 --> 00:04:53,959 Great. lt's at five o'clock. l'll see you there. 66 00:04:54,027 --> 00:04:56,086 - OK - Five o'clock? 67 00:04:57,797 --> 00:05:00,231 Boys, hurry up. We only have an hour and a half to go fly-fishing, 68 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:03,201 thanks to Cousin Chubby. 69 00:05:16,249 --> 00:05:20,345 - Ah, Wilson, this is the life, huh? - Mm-hmm. 70 00:05:20,420 --> 00:05:24,481 - Guys communing with nature. - Mm-hmm. 71 00:05:24,557 --> 00:05:26,821 Getting away from the city... 72 00:05:27,727 --> 00:05:30,753 and the clutches of a suffocating, domineering mother 73 00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:33,924 who won't allow her son to grow up! 74 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:37,128 Let it go, Al. Forget Mother. 75 00:05:37,203 --> 00:05:40,263 lmmerse yourself in the tranquility of the river. 76 00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:44,106 You're right, Wilson. lt's so peaceful out here. 77 00:05:45,044 --> 00:05:46,443 Why spoil it? 78 00:05:46,512 --> 00:05:48,844 All right, all right! Hey! 79 00:05:50,817 --> 00:05:53,843 We're finally here! 80 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:58,289 All right, boys. Fish fast. We got 53 minutes, all right? 81 00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:03,526 Look, it's Al Al Bean. 82 00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:12,831 What's the deal with these fish? We haven't had a single bite. 83 00:06:12,905 --> 00:06:15,066 Dad, we've only been here seven minutes. 84 00:06:15,141 --> 00:06:18,110 Hey, Wilson. Can you show us how to do that forward cast? 85 00:06:18,177 --> 00:06:19,166 Certainly, lad. 86 00:06:19,245 --> 00:06:24,683 You hold your rod at one o'clock, you end up at ten o'clock. 87 00:06:29,722 --> 00:06:31,849 Dad, he said ten o'clock. 88 00:06:31,924 --> 00:06:36,122 l didn't know he meant ten o'clock Eastern time. 89 00:06:37,296 --> 00:06:40,823 Well, l see you're as adept at fly-fishing as you were at ice fishing. 90 00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:44,597 l'll bet you 20 bucks l can catch more fish than you. 91 00:06:44,670 --> 00:06:48,037 - You're on. - Tim, Al, we're not here to compete. 92 00:06:48,107 --> 00:06:51,201 We're here to achieve a higher consciousness. 93 00:06:51,277 --> 00:06:57,113 He's right, Tim. By creating a competition, we insult the spirit of the river. 94 00:06:58,384 --> 00:07:00,147 l'm so sorry, river. 95 00:07:00,219 --> 00:07:04,519 But you can help me out by burping up a couple of them fish, OK? 96 00:07:05,158 --> 00:07:09,652 Even accomplished fishermen can spend hours out here and not catch anything. 97 00:07:09,729 --> 00:07:12,527 Hey, guys, l got one! 98 00:07:46,833 --> 00:07:48,801 Hi. Hey. 99 00:07:48,868 --> 00:07:51,803 lt's good to see you all. We did a little fly-fishing today. 100 00:07:51,871 --> 00:07:54,533 And, boy, did we catch a lot of flies! 101 00:07:55,074 --> 00:07:59,272 Here we are, just like l promised, with 30 seconds to spare. 102 00:07:59,345 --> 00:08:03,281 You should've taken that 30 seconds to shower. 103 00:08:03,349 --> 00:08:04,976 (clears throat) 104 00:08:06,419 --> 00:08:09,252 Excuse me. Aunt Edna, good to see you. 105 00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:11,984 All right. 106 00:08:14,260 --> 00:08:16,455 Don't hit me. 107 00:08:16,529 --> 00:08:19,930 - Stop. Tell her to stop hitting me. - You're gonna hurt her. 108 00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:37,513 Tim, why are you getting up so early? Come back to bed. 109 00:08:37,583 --> 00:08:43,180 l got a lot of fun stuff to squeeze in today, and l can't waste time in bed with you. 110 00:08:47,693 --> 00:08:50,093 (# ''William Tell Overture'")) 111 00:11:25,551 --> 00:11:28,019 ''To my cousin Lisa on her wedding day...'' 112 00:11:28,087 --> 00:11:30,647 - Hey, Jill, l... - Wait. Shh. 113 00:11:30,723 --> 00:11:34,750 ''As the gentle wind kisses the morning dew...'' 114 00:11:34,827 --> 00:11:38,854 ''Everything you say bounces off me and sticks to you.'' 115 00:11:40,099 --> 00:11:42,897 l'm just trying to help. 116 00:11:42,968 --> 00:11:44,993 (clears throat) 117 00:11:45,071 --> 00:11:48,302 ''To my cousin Lisa on her wedding day...'' 118 00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:52,242 Don't do it! Don't do it! Don't do it! Don't do it! 119 00:11:53,479 --> 00:11:55,003 What are the boys doing? 120 00:11:55,081 --> 00:11:57,743 They're getting their suits on. We're going water-skiing. 121 00:11:57,817 --> 00:11:59,682 - You're going skiing now? - Yeah. 122 00:11:59,752 --> 00:12:03,483 The wedding's not for four hours. Finish your poetry and we'll be back in time. 123 00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:05,615 Oh, l am so sick of working on this poem. 124 00:12:05,691 --> 00:12:11,652 l spent the last two hours trying to come up with a rhyme for ''matrimony.'' 125 00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:14,165 lt's easy - ''schmatrimony.'' 126 00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:17,892 Thanks! Why didn't l think of that? 127 00:12:17,970 --> 00:12:20,234 lf you're bored with this, come with us for a bit. 128 00:12:20,306 --> 00:12:24,037 l'll let you drive the boat, you'll get a little color. 129 00:12:24,110 --> 00:12:26,908 lt sure would be fun to go out with you guys for a while. 130 00:12:26,979 --> 00:12:28,810 - OK, l'll do it! - All right! 131 00:12:28,881 --> 00:12:33,079 l borrowed my buddy Tony's boat. lt's got that inboard big block V-8. 132 00:12:33,152 --> 00:12:37,521 Tony's boat. That's the one with the roller rockers and the supercharged 454? 133 00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:38,648 How did you know that? 134 00:12:38,724 --> 00:12:42,251 You cry it out in your sleep at least once a week. 135 00:12:43,863 --> 00:12:45,990 Way to go, Brad! 136 00:12:52,171 --> 00:12:55,504 - Whoo! Great! - Of course he's great! He's my kid. 137 00:12:55,574 --> 00:12:56,563 Good goin'! 138 00:12:56,642 --> 00:13:00,043 Hey! We're your kids, too. How come we fall on our butts? 139 00:13:00,112 --> 00:13:04,173 Hey, l gave you the water-skiing gene. What you do with it is your business. 140 00:13:04,250 --> 00:13:05,979 Attaboy! 141 00:13:22,735 --> 00:13:25,226 - Way to go, Dad! - Yeah! 142 00:13:25,304 --> 00:13:26,532 Watch this! 143 00:13:33,913 --> 00:13:35,574 One more time around, OK? 144 00:13:40,586 --> 00:13:42,178 Whoo! 145 00:13:48,260 --> 00:13:50,353 - Way to go, Dad! - Yeah! 146 00:14:01,774 --> 00:14:05,835 Next time l'll show you guys what l can really do. Whoo! 147 00:14:07,613 --> 00:14:11,379 - Mom, you're the only one that didn't ski. - Mom can't water ski. 148 00:14:11,450 --> 00:14:15,181 What do you mean? l used to be a great skier. Tell 'em, Tim. 149 00:14:15,254 --> 00:14:18,781 Yeah, used to be. lt's a little different than it is now. 150 00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:21,827 - Really? What does that mean? - lt's nothing to be ashamed of. 151 00:14:21,894 --> 00:14:25,762 You used to be a good athlete. Now you write poetry and go to weddings. 152 00:14:25,831 --> 00:14:28,527 - All right, let's head back. - Hey! 153 00:14:28,601 --> 00:14:31,502 We head back when l say we head back. 154 00:14:32,204 --> 00:14:34,001 Hit it! 155 00:14:38,043 --> 00:14:39,510 Whoo! 156 00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:47,917 Yay, Mom! Yeah! 157 00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:53,358 Hey, look up there! 158 00:14:55,461 --> 00:14:56,450 Cool. 159 00:14:56,528 --> 00:15:00,259 lf we hurry up, we can get some parasailing in before the wedding. 160 00:15:01,233 --> 00:15:03,565 Hey, Dad! Look out for the ramp! 161 00:15:09,942 --> 00:15:11,239 Tim! 162 00:15:22,121 --> 00:15:24,919 Jill, you don't want to be late for the wedding. 163 00:15:24,990 --> 00:15:29,051 - Are you sure Mom's well enough to go? - She's fine, OK? 164 00:15:33,399 --> 00:15:35,458 l can't believe this. 165 00:15:35,534 --> 00:15:38,799 l have a bandage on my nose, a sprained wrist, my knee is sore 166 00:15:38,871 --> 00:15:42,534 and my butt is completely black and blue! 167 00:15:42,608 --> 00:15:44,599 You got some color. 168 00:15:46,879 --> 00:15:48,847 Do you think that's funny? 169 00:15:49,748 --> 00:15:52,046 Not if you don't. 170 00:15:52,551 --> 00:15:56,214 There is no way that l can show my face at this wedding. 171 00:15:56,288 --> 00:15:59,416 Ah, darn. And we so wanted to go. 172 00:15:59,491 --> 00:16:01,925 Do you think that's funny? 173 00:16:01,994 --> 00:16:04,121 Not if you don't. 174 00:16:05,397 --> 00:16:07,957 l could never go to that party and enjoy myself 175 00:16:08,033 --> 00:16:11,992 knowing that my mother was back here suffering. 176 00:16:12,071 --> 00:16:14,301 l know, it's not funny, Mom. l know! 177 00:16:14,373 --> 00:16:17,103 Comb your hair and get your ties ready. 178 00:16:17,176 --> 00:16:19,474 Honey, you've gotta go to this wedding. 179 00:16:19,545 --> 00:16:22,070 Why do l have to go? 180 00:16:26,719 --> 00:16:29,517 l have a... l have a million reasons. 181 00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:38,195 lt's your favorite cousin. And you'd hate yourself forever if you didn't go. 182 00:16:38,263 --> 00:16:40,857 Actually, l'd hate you. 183 00:16:40,933 --> 00:16:43,401 l thought of that, too. 184 00:16:43,469 --> 00:16:47,235 l'm really sorry l wasn't looking where l was going in the boat, OK? 185 00:16:47,306 --> 00:16:50,764 l cannot believe that l let you talk me into water-skiing. 186 00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:54,370 You wanted to go. lf you'd let go of the rope, you wouldn't be hurt now. 187 00:16:54,446 --> 00:16:58,610 - You actually think this is my fault? - Not if you don't. 188 00:16:59,251 --> 00:17:04,746 Honey, you can't let some nicks and cuts and contusions stop you from going. 189 00:17:04,823 --> 00:17:08,088 Heck, if l did that, l wouldn't go anywhere. 190 00:17:10,062 --> 00:17:14,465 There is no way that l can get up in front of all of these people. 191 00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:16,592 You look great. 192 00:17:16,668 --> 00:17:20,968 And once you put your makeup on, no one's even gonna notice. 193 00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:23,508 My makeup is on. 194 00:17:25,310 --> 00:17:27,301 Looks quite natural. 195 00:17:30,249 --> 00:17:32,444 (# soft guitar) 196 00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:39,889 Everybody's staring at me. 197 00:17:39,958 --> 00:17:43,052 - No, they're not. - Then who are they staring at? 198 00:17:43,829 --> 00:17:46,730 Who do you think? The star of Tool Time 199 00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:51,333 And now Lisa's cousin, Jill Taylor, 200 00:17:51,403 --> 00:17:55,897 has prepared a poem on the grace and sanctity of marriage. 201 00:17:55,974 --> 00:17:58,841 - Go get 'em, honey. - l'm not going up there. 202 00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:00,902 - They're waiting for you. Come on. - Ow! 203 00:18:00,979 --> 00:18:02,776 Sorry, sorry, sorry. 204 00:18:05,818 --> 00:18:08,286 - l don't want to do this. - Go, go, go. 205 00:18:17,596 --> 00:18:20,565 - Are you all right? - l'm fine. l'm fine. 206 00:18:26,271 --> 00:18:28,967 l'm sorry. l'm sorry. 207 00:18:29,041 --> 00:18:29,871 Um... uh... 208 00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:34,003 To my cousin Lisa on her wedding day. 209 00:18:35,547 --> 00:18:38,482 ''As a gentle wind kisses the morning dew...'' 210 00:18:38,550 --> 00:18:42,042 A little louder! We can't hear you! 211 00:18:44,990 --> 00:18:47,686 (louder) ''As a gentle wind kisses the morning dew...'' 212 00:18:47,759 --> 00:18:52,025 Let me get... l'll take... l'll just move. Excuse me. Excuse me. 213 00:18:53,432 --> 00:18:55,423 - (feedback) - Ow! 214 00:19:06,345 --> 00:19:10,008 lt's gonna be a long ride home. 215 00:19:12,951 --> 00:19:15,351 Honey, you know it's true what they say: 216 00:19:15,420 --> 00:19:19,413 No matter how great the vacation, it's always good to be home, huh? 217 00:19:19,491 --> 00:19:22,289 Don't touch me. Don't touch me. 218 00:19:22,361 --> 00:19:26,058 Always good to be home. 219 00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:29,066 Well, guys, l think there's something we can all learn from this. 220 00:19:29,134 --> 00:19:33,434 Yeah, that a nose can be broken more than once in a day. 221 00:19:34,506 --> 00:19:36,736 l don't think that's it. 222 00:19:36,808 --> 00:19:40,244 Dad, Mom is never gonna forgive you for this one. 223 00:19:40,312 --> 00:19:46,012 l'm just glad we got one great weekend in before everything came to a crashing end. 224 00:19:46,084 --> 00:19:50,145 Yeah. l had a lot of fun. Sorry you're so dead, Dad. 225 00:19:50,222 --> 00:19:55,091 l am not dead. l've got a million ideas up here how to make this up to your mom. 226 00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:57,355 Are any of them good? 227 00:19:59,097 --> 00:20:01,156 Not a one. 228 00:20:04,002 --> 00:20:06,493 That's 454 at the... 229 00:20:07,639 --> 00:20:11,905 Supercharged roller rockers. Tony... Hit it, Tony! 230 00:20:13,478 --> 00:20:15,639 That's 454... 231 00:20:15,714 --> 00:20:17,147 - Tim... - 454... 232 00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:18,547 Tim... 233 00:20:18,617 --> 00:20:20,847 Tony! Ton... Honey, hi. 234 00:20:22,020 --> 00:20:24,853 Boy, l was having a good dream. 235 00:20:24,923 --> 00:20:27,483 What are you doing down here? You never came to bed. 236 00:20:27,559 --> 00:20:31,154 l was afraid if l rolled over, l'd finish you off. 237 00:20:36,501 --> 00:20:38,662 l feel bad that you got banged up this weekend. 238 00:20:38,737 --> 00:20:40,102 Yeah, me too. 239 00:20:40,172 --> 00:20:45,872 lt would've been nice to show up at the wedding without any hairline fractures. 240 00:20:45,944 --> 00:20:49,937 You wouldn't have got hurt at all if l weren't so obsessed with having fun. 241 00:20:50,015 --> 00:20:53,712 Well, l gotta admit that's another thing that really made me mad. 242 00:20:53,785 --> 00:20:56,049 You guys got to have all the fun. 243 00:20:56,121 --> 00:20:59,022 Well, look. l promise you, next family wedding we go to, 244 00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:02,390 we'll all have no fun together. 245 00:21:03,061 --> 00:21:05,188 - What is all this stuff? - Oh. 246 00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:07,664 Well, l wrote you a little poem. 247 00:21:15,507 --> 00:21:19,603 Maybe... maybe you'd like to listen to it before you start laughing at me. 248 00:21:19,678 --> 00:21:21,612 l'm sorry. l'm sorry. 249 00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:23,477 (clears throat) 250 00:21:23,548 --> 00:21:26,984 ''l was going to buy you jewelry, and maybe some flowers. 251 00:21:27,052 --> 00:21:30,544 ''lnstead, l stayed up till the wee morning hours, 252 00:21:30,622 --> 00:21:32,988 thinking about how lucky l am. 253 00:21:33,058 --> 00:21:36,050 ''Boy, l'm hungry. l feel like ham. 254 00:21:37,763 --> 00:21:43,224 ''My selfishness l will try to conquer. l'm sorry l bopped you on your honker. 255 00:21:44,036 --> 00:21:46,129 ''l'll love you forever, even when you're old. 256 00:21:46,204 --> 00:21:50,800 lf you don't like this poem, l've got the florist on hold.'' 257 00:21:55,881 --> 00:21:59,544 All right, Dad. Now, remember: one o'clock, ten o'clock. 258 00:21:59,618 --> 00:22:04,078 - One o'clock, ten o'clock. - Let me have this thing. You count, OK? 259 00:22:07,025 --> 00:22:08,253 What are you guys doing? 260 00:22:08,327 --> 00:22:10,989 Just practicing fly-fishing before church. 261 00:22:11,063 --> 00:22:13,224 - Well, hurry up. We're gonna be late. - OK. 262 00:22:13,298 --> 00:22:15,289 All right. Just one more. 263 00:22:17,602 --> 00:22:19,331 Tim!