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Welcome to ''Gadget Corner.''
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We'll show you products
to make you go, ''Wow,''
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and your wife go: (yelling)
''How are we gonna pay for this stuff?!''
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Actually, Tim, today's products
are something any woman
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would love to have in her home.
And to demonstrate that for us
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is Tool Time's very own gadget expert,
June Palmer.
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Always nice to have you here, June.
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Really? How come l haven't been on
the show for four years?
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Budget problems.
But we got it worked out.
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- Al's gonna take a cut in pay.
- My pay couldn't get any lower.
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So, June, what have you got for us today?
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Well, first up we have a ''Suck-A-Bug.''
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Four years and the best you can
come up with is ''Suck-A-Bug''?
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lt's an easy way to get rid of
those annoying pests.
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l see you have a bug over here.
You just turn it on...
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(motor whirs)
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- And bye-bye, buggie!
- Hey! That's pretty cool, actually.
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Rechargable, one-piece styrene.
l like that, Al. Look at that! No more pests.
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This device down here?
What's that supposed to do?
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Dad, we want to sit in
for a couple of hands.
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No. l don't want you guys exposed to
a man's poker night.
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ln other words,
you don't want us to see you lose.
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- l don't always lose, you know!
- When was the last time you won?
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Four years ago when he had
that gadget lady on.
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Funny.
Don't you guys have some homework?
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(doorbell)
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On your way upstairs
let my buddies in, please?
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Hey, girls! Hey, Tim!
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- Hey, Harry, Benny, Al. How you doin'?
- Hey, Tim!
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How'd you get Jill to let us
play poker here tonight?
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She has her book discussion group.
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Book discussion group?
Sounds interesting.
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- What are they discussing?
- My guess would be... books.
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l thought maybe you took an interest in
something that was important to your wife.
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- Why?
- Yeah. Who cares?
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lt's a wonder you guys have long-term
relationships with women.
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No, it's a wonder we have
a long-term relationship with you.
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- (Tim) Hi, Marty.
- (Al) Hi, Marty.
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(Jill) That must be Chris! l'll get it!
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- Who's Chris?
- Some woman in Jill's psych class
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who's driving her to
the book discussion group.
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Hey, l like brainy chicks.
You think she'd date me?
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Guys, this is Chris.
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On second thought,
l don't need a date that bad.
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- And this is my husband, Tim.
- How you doin'?
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- Hi.
- l've heard a lot about you.
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Obviously more than l heard about you.
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Can l talk to my wife in private?
Excuse us.
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Yeah, just...
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That guy is a guy.
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You know, now that l look at him,
l think you're right.
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- l'll see you later.
- You never told me Chris was a guy.
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Yes, l did. We talked about
this the other day at the hardware store.
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You were with me at the hardware store?
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Honey, Chris and l are just friends.
There's nothing to worry about, OK?
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- See you later.
- OK, bye.
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Bye. Don't take all his money.
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Nice to meet you, Chris.
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(mumbling)
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All right, guys, let's play some poker.
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- OK, first jack deals.
- Tim, l gotta hand it to you.
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You're the only guy l know
that lets his wife date.
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She's not going on date, all right?
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l wish my wife would date.
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Call me ''old-fashioned,'' but l'd never
let my wife go out on a date.
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She's not going out on a date, all right?
Everybody ante up.
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Right. She's going to
a book discussion group with a friend.
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l'm sure it's purely platonic.
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Have you guys heard of
a platonic relationship?
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Yeah. l got one with my wife.
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l've had many relationships with
women who were just friends.
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Yeah, but not by your choice.
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Seven Stud, high-low.
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Tim, it doesn't bother you that Jill
just walked out of here with that guy?
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Will you let it go, Marty? She said he's
a friend, that's what he is. A friend. OK?
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Yeah, just like she was with
that guy helpin' her with her resume.
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Oh, yeah, the guy that hit on her
right in your own house.
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She wasn't interested in that guy, OK?
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Besides he was better looking
than monkey boy.
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l thought Chris was
a nice-looking man.
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- Maybe you want to date him.
- (laughing)
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First stakes.
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- A buck.
- Yeah, l'm in.
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The most gorgeous women
always end up with the ugliest guy.
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Yeah, look at you, Marty.
Your wife's a knockout.
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You saying l'm ugly?
Tim, you think l'm ugly?
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You got some nice features.
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But overall, you're a pretty
forgettable guy, really.
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- Can we play cards, please?
- Good idea, Tim.
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Keep your mind off
your marriage problems.
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- l don't have ''marriage problems.''
- l beg to differ.
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Another dollar. You know, if a woman like
Nancy could go for a dog like Marty...
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- Now l'm a dog?
- ...then Jill could go for a guy like Chris.
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You guys are probably right.
She's having an affair,
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and then just to top it off she brings him
here to meet me and my friends.
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She's real shrewd.
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l'll give her that.
Buck and a buck better.
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Al, you find me attractive, don't ya?
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Tim? Why do you keep
lookin' at your watch?
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No reason.
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- How long ago was Jill due home?
- 64 minutes.
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Look, l'm sorry, we were just
giving you a hard time. Don't worry.
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l'm not worried, Marty.
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OK. l want you to know
whatever happens l'm here for you.
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Thanks, Marty.
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Well, l gotta go now.
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And why's that, Marty?
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Because if l'm more than 1 5 minutes
late, Nancy thinks l'm havin' an affair.
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Good night, Marty.
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- Mark, what are you doin' up?
- l was looking for Mom.
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ls she home from her date yet?
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She's not on a date!
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l'm sorry.
You got a problem with your homework?
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- Good night, Dad.
- Hold on!
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Why don't you guys think
l can help with the homework?
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Tell me what you've got.
What's the problem?
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- l have to define a pronoun.
- Pronoun? That's easy.
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Pronoun is a noun that gets paid
what an amateur noun would do for free.
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l'll just wait for Mom.
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Hi. Honey, what are you still doin' up?
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l needed help with my homework.
l have to define a pronoun.
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OK, a pronoun is a word that takes
the place of a noun.
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Like, if you were to
say, ''lt's between you and me.''
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''lt'', ''you'' and ''me'' would all be pronouns.
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Both definitions are considered acceptable.
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- Thanks, Mom.
- Will you please go to bed?
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Whoa, what a mess!
l'll help you clean up.
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Thanks. lt's a little late,
must've been a long book.
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No, the book club ended at ten,
but Chris and l have been
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sitting out in his car talking.
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- ln front of this house in his car talking?
- ls there something wrong with that?
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You shouldn't be hanging out
with single guys.
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Especially in a romantic spot like a car!
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Tim, we were just sitting out in
the Camaro talking. lt's no big deal.
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l don't care... Camaro? What year?
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l don't know!
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Tim, there is nothing going on
between Chris and me.
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We're just friends.
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Honey, these days men and women
cannot be just friends.
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Really?
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- What about you and Heidi?
- Heidi?
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She's not my friend, she's a co-worker.
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To me, Heidi's just Al with less facial hair
and a better physique.
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Right, l get 'em mixed up myself.
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The point is, l wouldn't be
sittin' in Heidi's Camaro.
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- And if l did, l'd know what year it was.
- Tim, this is a ridiculous conversation.
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lf you had a female friend who shared your
interests, l would not get crazy.
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Oh. ls that a fact?
lf l hung out with a beautiful woman
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that knew about big-block 454s,
you'd trust me?
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- Yeah, l would.
- Now you tell me.
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(moaning)
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Wilson, what are you doin' up?
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Well, Tim, l couldn't sleep so l thought
l'd come out and squeeze my apples.
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lt's none of my business, but shouldn't
you be doin' that in private?
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No. No, no, no, no, no.
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Tim, l'm squeezing my apples
to see if they're ready to make cider.
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- Oh! (laughs)
- Firm finger indentations on the surface
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of the fruit tells me
that the apple is ripe. Ah!
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You can tell just by touching.
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Speaking of touching...
do you think it's possible for
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a man and woman to be friends
without it turning physical?
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- l most certainly do.
- Gotta respect your opinion.
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Even though you are outside
squeezing your own apples.
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You see, many women feel
that the most important ingredient in
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a fulfilled relationship is
meaningful conversation.
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ln the words of the French novelist,
Alain Le Sage,
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''The pleasure of talking is
the inextinguishable passion of a woman.''
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Which is why we call them
the opposite sex:
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we like sex and they like the opposite.
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For a woman, intellectual stimulation with
a man can be the strongest bond of all.
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That deep connection allows her to
think of him as her soul mate.
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That's pretty heavy stuff.
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Oh, if you're the one who found
your soul mate, it certainly is.
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You're telling me a guy can make
a woman a soul mate by talking to her?
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lt depends on how good the talk is.
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(mumbling) Sittin' in the Camaro, talkin'...
Could be... hour and a half... (mumbles)
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lt'd have to be a hell of a lot
better than that.
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00:12:43,629 --> 00:12:47,690
- Hey, little buddy. How was practice?
- Fine.
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Where have you been?
l've been waiting for 20 minutes.
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Sorry. Buckle up.
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l had to stop by the bookstore.
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Sorry, Dad. l got hit in
the head with the puck.
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00:13:02,281 --> 00:13:07,480
- l just thought you said ''bookstore''! Ha!
- l did say bookstore.
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00:13:07,553 --> 00:13:10,716
Your mom's book discussion group is
stopping by the house next week
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and l'm gonna read
the book they're reading.
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Why?
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To prove l'm just as interested in
reading as the next guy.
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ls the next guy also reading in
Dolby Stereo?
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00:13:29,775 --> 00:13:33,211
There's no better way to read
a classic than in a classic car.
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00:13:33,279 --> 00:13:35,406
Pop that thing in.
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00:13:37,283 --> 00:13:40,343
(man) ''Madame Bovary ''
By Gustave Flaubert
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00:13:40,419 --> 00:13:44,150
A brilliant psychological portrait
which searingly depicts
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00:13:44,223 --> 00:13:46,521
a woman's mind in search of
transcendence
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00:13:46,592 --> 00:13:48,184
Fast-forward it. Fast-forward it.
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00:13:48,260 --> 00:13:50,057
(tape winding)
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00:13:50,129 --> 00:13:53,428
Innocent maidens with tears
on their cheeks were
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00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:56,525
kissing turtle doves
through the bars of a Gothic cage
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00:13:56,602 --> 00:13:58,536
Fast-forward! Fast-forward!
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00:13:58,604 --> 00:14:00,595
(tape winding)
200
00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:03,164
- Little pieces of embroidery
- Turn it over!
201
00:14:03,242 --> 00:14:05,733
Maybe the other side is better.
202
00:14:08,013 --> 00:14:10,447
Got my favorite tea, Earl Grey.
203
00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:13,849
And since we're reading
a French book - voila, French pastries.
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00:14:13,919 --> 00:14:15,409
- Eclairs?
- Of course.
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- My favorite!
- Hi, everybody!
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00:14:18,224 --> 00:14:20,692
This is my husband, Tim.
207
00:14:20,759 --> 00:14:24,024
- Oh, l already know Chris.
- Nice to see you again, Tim.
208
00:14:24,096 --> 00:14:27,156
And this is Sharon, Jane and Carol.
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00:14:27,233 --> 00:14:29,167
- Hi.
- Nice to meet you.
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''You'' is a pronoun, you know.
211
00:14:38,043 --> 00:14:43,003
Ah, tea! Nice cup of tea.
l'm a big tea guy myself.
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00:14:43,082 --> 00:14:46,245
- You like Earl Grey?
- Don't know the guy, Chris.
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00:14:47,753 --> 00:14:50,449
Jill, you didn't tell us
you had such a witty husband.
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00:14:51,123 --> 00:14:54,183
l didn't know.
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00:14:54,260 --> 00:14:58,959
- So, don't you have a poker game tonight?
- l thought l'd blow it off tonight.
216
00:14:59,031 --> 00:15:01,966
- What?
- ln the hopes of joining the book group.
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00:15:07,573 --> 00:15:12,476
Tim, to participate in this book group
you have to have read Madame Bovary
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Ah, yes! Flaubert's brilliant
psychological profile...
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of a woman in search of
transcendence.
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00:15:24,023 --> 00:15:30,792
- l think that's a very astute synopsis.
- l've always been an astute synopsizer.
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00:15:30,863 --> 00:15:35,095
Oh! Excuse me, sorry.
Tim, l don't think this is a good idea.
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00:15:35,167 --> 00:15:38,762
l think it's wonderful that you have
a husband who shares your interests.
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00:15:38,837 --> 00:15:42,170
You wouldn't catch my husband here.
You're lucky, Jill.
224
00:15:42,241 --> 00:15:45,404
To synopsize what they're saying -
they'd like me part of this group.
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00:15:45,477 --> 00:15:49,106
- Oh, that's a great idea!
- OK, good.
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00:15:49,181 --> 00:15:53,049
OK, why don't l just sit right in here?
227
00:15:53,118 --> 00:15:55,279
Whoa! Still warm!
228
00:15:58,357 --> 00:16:02,521
Well, let's plunge in.
l was hooked by chapter one.
229
00:16:02,594 --> 00:16:05,461
Can we fast-forward
through chapter one?
230
00:16:06,999 --> 00:16:10,025
- Go right to chapter ten.
- Why chapter ten?
231
00:16:10,102 --> 00:16:13,765
They introduce a character - Lestiboudois.
232
00:16:18,377 --> 00:16:20,607
Who is Lestiboudois?
233
00:16:21,213 --> 00:16:24,114
The village handyman.
234
00:16:26,051 --> 00:16:28,246
What an interesting perspective.
235
00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:30,515
l've never heard
anyone discuss Madame Bovary
236
00:16:30,589 --> 00:16:33,490
from the point of view of
the handyman!
237
00:16:33,559 --> 00:16:38,394
That's because he has absolutely
no relevance to the story.
238
00:16:38,464 --> 00:16:41,592
Au contraire
239
00:16:43,202 --> 00:16:46,660
He was the one that set up all
the chairs for the fair.
240
00:16:46,739 --> 00:16:50,300
l kind of see what you're saying.
lf Lestiboudois hadn't set up the chairs,
241
00:16:50,376 --> 00:16:53,903
Madame Bovary would not have
been able to sit next to Rodolphe.
242
00:16:53,979 --> 00:16:57,972
My point exactly.
243
00:16:58,050 --> 00:17:02,851
- What's your feeling on Rodolphe, Tim?
- Roldolphe, Tim?
244
00:17:04,757 --> 00:17:09,126
l'm not real clear on
his character at this point.
245
00:17:10,329 --> 00:17:13,298
You don't remember the main
love interest in the story?
246
00:17:13,365 --> 00:17:16,857
A sensitive man like Tim was probably
more drawn to Leon.
247
00:17:16,935 --> 00:17:18,994
Yes, l was.
248
00:17:20,773 --> 00:17:24,072
And, uh, forgive me,
Leon was the one that...
249
00:17:24,143 --> 00:17:26,839
The man that she connected with
on a deeper level.
250
00:17:26,912 --> 00:17:29,073
- Madame Bovary's soul mate.
- Soul mate?
251
00:17:29,148 --> 00:17:33,414
Madame Bovary was going to leave
her dimwitted husband for him.
252
00:17:33,485 --> 00:17:36,010
(mumbling) l didn't like Leon.
l don't like that.
253
00:17:37,589 --> 00:17:41,355
So the only character you liked was
the handyman?
254
00:17:41,427 --> 00:17:47,127
No. l think the hero of this fine novel
would have to be the husband.
255
00:17:47,199 --> 00:17:48,791
(all laugh)
256
00:17:48,867 --> 00:17:54,271
- He was the quintessential dullard.
- Dullard or mallard, l don't care.
257
00:17:55,974 --> 00:18:02,402
She was married and only her husband
should be allowed near Madame's ovaries.
258
00:18:15,994 --> 00:18:18,929
Would anybody like more tea?
259
00:18:21,467 --> 00:18:23,901
Well, this was a lot of fun.
Thanks for coming.
260
00:18:23,969 --> 00:18:26,631
- What are we going to read next week?
- The Fountainhead
261
00:18:26,705 --> 00:18:29,071
Plumbing! l'm in!
262
00:18:30,142 --> 00:18:33,942
Oh, Chris, Jill won't be needing
a ride next week, l'll take her.
263
00:18:34,012 --> 00:18:38,506
- OK. l'll see you in class tomorrow, Jill?
- Yes, yes. Thank you. Goodbye!
264
00:18:38,584 --> 00:18:40,950
Bye now!
265
00:18:43,322 --> 00:18:47,258
Well, that was quite a display
you put on here tonight!
266
00:18:47,326 --> 00:18:51,422
Yeah, l really wowed 'em with that
intellectual razzmatazz, didn't l?
267
00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:57,868
You were checking up on me.
268
00:18:57,936 --> 00:19:01,269
- No, l wasn't!
- What did you think was gonna happen?
269
00:19:01,340 --> 00:19:05,743
That Chris and l were gonna make
passionate love in front of the book club?
270
00:19:05,811 --> 00:19:08,803
Would have probably been
more exciting.
271
00:19:10,115 --> 00:19:12,640
- You didn't have to do that.
- Yes, l did.
272
00:19:12,718 --> 00:19:15,016
l did this to prove that l could be
your soul mate.
273
00:19:15,087 --> 00:19:17,851
- What are you talking about?
- Soul mate?
274
00:19:17,923 --> 00:19:21,120
The person that can talk about
stuff you're passionate about?
275
00:19:21,193 --> 00:19:27,359
Well, by that definition your soul mate
would be the guy who rotates your tires!
276
00:19:28,700 --> 00:19:32,534
Now, now, you leave Murray out of this!
277
00:19:32,604 --> 00:19:35,971
This is between you and Chris.
278
00:19:36,041 --> 00:19:40,000
Wait a second.
You think that Chris is my soul mate?
279
00:19:40,078 --> 00:19:42,774
Yes, l do. He can talk about stuff
l don't know about.
280
00:19:42,848 --> 00:19:45,908
He's taking your mind
and leaving me with your body.
281
00:19:51,890 --> 00:19:55,621
Back the soul train up, here.
282
00:19:56,195 --> 00:20:00,131
You're more interested in
my mind than my body.
283
00:20:01,066 --> 00:20:04,263
Hey, no one's more surprised than me.
284
00:20:09,074 --> 00:20:14,603
After all these years, why would you
think anybody else could be my soul mate?
285
00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:16,238
l don't know.
286
00:20:16,315 --> 00:20:19,682
l was talking to Wilson. We were
talking about what women really want.
287
00:20:19,751 --> 00:20:21,810
And then all l could do was picture
myself sitting alone in my yard
288
00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:24,549
squeezing my apples.
289
00:20:29,628 --> 00:20:32,062
Tim, Chris and l may have
some common interests,
290
00:20:32,130 --> 00:20:34,121
but it can't compare to
what l have with you.
291
00:20:34,199 --> 00:20:36,565
lt can't?
292
00:20:36,635 --> 00:20:42,164
l share my life with you.
l share my love with you.
293
00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:45,369
All we have to do is look at one
another and we know exactly what
294
00:20:45,444 --> 00:20:48,641
- the other person is thinking.
- That's true.
295
00:20:48,714 --> 00:20:52,013
lf that's not a soul mate
l don't know what is.
296
00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:54,678
So what am l thinking right now?
297
00:20:57,556 --> 00:21:02,323
That you read Madame Bovary for nothing.
298
00:21:02,394 --> 00:21:04,919
Painful day.
299
00:21:04,997 --> 00:21:08,091
You are my soul mate.
300
00:21:14,139 --> 00:21:18,633
Believe it? Four jacks again,
read 'em and weep.
301
00:21:18,710 --> 00:21:22,942
l guess you guys learned a lesson -
don't play with the poker champ.
302
00:21:23,015 --> 00:21:26,644
You must be real proud of yourself, Dad.
303
00:21:26,718 --> 00:21:30,552
Wiping out three kids
who've never played poker before.
304
00:21:30,622 --> 00:21:36,254
Well, hustle up and get your piggy banks
and bring Daddy his money.
305
00:21:36,328 --> 00:21:40,196
- l'll give you an l.O.U.
- l'll need some lD.
306
00:21:41,633 --> 00:21:44,693
- After l finish my homework.
- Need any help?
307
00:21:44,770 --> 00:21:49,139
No. Just got a little book to read.
Tale of Two Cities
308
00:21:52,110 --> 00:21:54,874
Don't play a tape!
Read the book, will ya, Randy?
309
00:21:54,946 --> 00:21:57,176
l got the idea from you.
310
00:21:57,249 --> 00:22:00,275
Well, don't tell your mom
you got the idea from me.
311
00:22:00,352 --> 00:22:03,048
Don't worry, Dad. She's not gonna find out.
312
00:22:03,121 --> 00:22:07,558
(man) ''A Tale Of Two Cities. '' by Charles
Dickens
313
00:22:07,626 --> 00:22:11,323
''It was the best of times.
it was the worst of times ''
314
00:22:11,396 --> 00:22:16,959
(Jill) It'll be the worst of times for you
if you don't turn this o and read the book!
315
00:22:21,239 --> 00:22:23,730
l don't care what your father told you.
316
00:22:23,809 --> 00:22:26,505
Hey, fast-forward past that thing.
317
00:22:29,014 --> 00:22:31,505
Sorry, Dad, l got hit in
the head with the puck.
318
00:22:31,583 --> 00:22:38,079
- l thought you said bookstore.
- l did say bookstore.
319
00:22:38,156 --> 00:22:41,785
Your mom's book discussion group is...
(mumbles)
320
00:22:43,261 --> 00:22:47,061
What am l thinking right now?
321
00:22:47,132 --> 00:22:50,590
You're thinking that you read
Madame Bovary for nothing.
322
00:22:50,669 --> 00:22:54,230
Oh. Ohh...
323
00:22:54,306 --> 00:22:56,467
We are soul mates.
324
00:23:02,147 --> 00:23:05,275
- (director) Thank you.
- We're not done yet.
325
00:23:06,218 --> 00:23:10,211
Come on! l was just getting going here!
Working up a little steam.