1
00:00:04,237 --> 00:00:06,535
- Hello, Bud.
- Hey, Tim.

2
00:00:06,606 --> 00:00:08,130
- Good to see you.
- Good to see you.

3
00:00:08,208 --> 00:00:12,872
Tim, you know, l've been looking over
the scripts and they are terrific.

4
00:00:12,946 --> 00:00:15,414
Great. lt's nice to have
a boss appreciate my ideas.

5
00:00:15,482 --> 00:00:19,543
l love what you're doing. lf the ratings in
the new markets aren't good,

6
00:00:19,619 --> 00:00:22,315
then l hate what you're doing.

7
00:00:22,389 --> 00:00:25,916
- lt'll be great. They'll love us.
- l'm sure they're gonna love you.

8
00:00:25,992 --> 00:00:28,392
- But l still have doubts about Al.
- No...

9
00:00:28,461 --> 00:00:31,658
Yeah, yeah.
Which is why l made a little change.

10
00:00:31,731 --> 00:00:33,722
- Change?
- Yeah.

11
00:00:41,374 --> 00:00:43,638
This is not me!

12
00:00:44,177 --> 00:00:46,202
Yeah, but that's what l'm going for.

13
00:00:46,279 --> 00:00:50,010
See, l'm trying to get that 20-something
audience - that Generation X crowd.

14
00:00:50,083 --> 00:00:53,450
This'll make 'em shut off their TVs.

15
00:00:54,020 --> 00:00:57,649
l wonder how Al would look
in a buzz cut?

16
00:00:57,724 --> 00:01:01,387
His mom doesn't look too good in one.

17
00:01:01,461 --> 00:01:05,329
- Does everybody know what time it is?
- <i>Tool Time!</i>

18
00:01:05,398 --> 00:01:08,834
That's right. Binford Tools is proud to
present Tim ''The Tool Man'' Taylor!

19
00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:10,927
Whoo-hoo!

20
00:01:21,347 --> 00:01:25,408
Thank you. Thank you, Heidi.
And thank you, everyone.

21
00:01:25,485 --> 00:01:29,649
Welcome to <i>Tool Time</i> l am Tim ''The Tool
Man'' Taylor, and you know my assistant,

22
00:01:29,722 --> 00:01:32,623
Al ''Generation X-tra Large'' Borland.

23
00:01:34,327 --> 00:01:38,263
You might have noticed Al's not sporting
his traditional plaid or flannel today

24
00:01:38,331 --> 00:01:44,395
because he's got a new look.
l think he looks... peachy.

25
00:01:45,205 --> 00:01:47,332
l don't feel peachy.

26
00:01:47,407 --> 00:01:51,434
Today we're talking about do-it-yourself
jobs that aren't actually do-it-yourself.

27
00:01:51,511 --> 00:01:55,277
Replacing a pane of glass is one thing,
but for plate glass, you'll need a helper.

28
00:01:55,348 --> 00:02:00,980
l'll be hiking the glass in place,
Al will use a point driver to secure it.

29
00:02:01,054 --> 00:02:05,184
- All right, Al, point driver.
- Uh, l don't have my point driver.

30
00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:08,260
Well, thanks for ''pointing'' that out.
Where is it?

31
00:02:08,328 --> 00:02:14,096
l left it backstage.
l feel a little flummoxed without my flannel!

32
00:02:16,736 --> 00:02:22,174
You'll have to forgive Al. He's going
through a little flannel withdrawal.

33
00:02:22,242 --> 00:02:26,201
Next week we're checking him in to
the Betty Flannel Clinic, so...

34
00:02:26,279 --> 00:02:30,113
While Al's getting his point driver,
l can welcome two new markets for us.

35
00:02:30,183 --> 00:02:34,085
Bottom's up, Milwaukee!
And how's it hangin', Columbus?

36
00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:41,720
Uh...gosh! Al, hurry up.
l'm beginning to feel like Garfield here.

37
00:02:41,794 --> 00:02:44,661
l got it! OK. l'm here.

38
00:02:44,731 --> 00:02:49,430
lt's just you don't know what it's like
being trapped in the wrong fabric.

39
00:02:50,603 --> 00:02:54,505
- Secure the points with the point driver.
- No problem. All right.

40
00:02:54,574 --> 00:02:56,906
We'll glaze the window after...

41
00:02:56,976 --> 00:02:59,843
- l left the points backstage.
- l got some here.

42
00:02:59,913 --> 00:03:02,143
<i>(window smashes)</i>

43
00:03:59,205 --> 00:04:02,902
OK, l'm going to the library for a few hours.
What are you guys gonna do today?

44
00:04:02,976 --> 00:04:05,137
- Nothing.
- Nothing.

45
00:04:05,211 --> 00:04:07,475
- Nothing.
- l'm supervising.

46
00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:18,080
Well, don't overwork yourself.

47
00:04:19,492 --> 00:04:20,891
Bye.

48
00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:23,428
- <i>(Tim)</i> Have a good day.
- <i>(Mar</i>k<i>)</i> Bye.

49
00:04:24,597 --> 00:04:27,065
All right, guys. Hurry up.
Let's clean this house up.

50
00:04:27,133 --> 00:04:29,658
We'll give your mom
the best surprise party ever.

51
00:04:29,736 --> 00:04:32,933
- Think she suspects anything?
- Nah.

52
00:04:33,006 --> 00:04:36,271
The party's two weeks early.
Great idea. l'm glad l thought of it.

53
00:04:36,342 --> 00:04:38,537
l thought of it.

54
00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:41,546
Who thought of having all
the guests wait over at Wilson's?

55
00:04:41,614 --> 00:04:43,809
Dad, l came up with that.

56
00:04:43,883 --> 00:04:47,580
Yeah, but whose idea was it to have
everybody bring their favorite dish?

57
00:04:47,654 --> 00:04:49,281
Mine.

58
00:04:49,355 --> 00:04:51,687
Why throw Mom
a 39th birthday party anyway?

59
00:04:51,758 --> 00:04:53,521
l thought 40 was the big one.

60
00:04:53,593 --> 00:04:57,290
<i>(whistles)</i> Randy, Randy, Randy, Randy.

61
00:04:57,363 --> 00:05:00,025
You got a lot to learn about women.

62
00:05:00,099 --> 00:05:04,798
A woman's 40th birthday party is
something she does not want to celebrate.

63
00:05:05,605 --> 00:05:10,065
Why not? Well, because at 40 a woman
feels like she's, you know, getting old.

64
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:16,514
And that puts her in a very bad mood for
a very long time.

65
00:05:18,685 --> 00:05:22,018
- How long?
- Generally, the rest of her life.

66
00:05:22,088 --> 00:05:24,955
You see, at that age women don't like
their looks anymore.

67
00:05:25,024 --> 00:05:27,288
They see their cheeks sagging,
necks hanging.

68
00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:32,992
And before long, it's inevitable
their entire face will cave right in.

69
00:05:33,066 --> 00:05:35,227
Even a party can't cheer her up?

70
00:05:35,301 --> 00:05:38,566
l'm sorry to say, Mark,
there's not a party big enough to

71
00:05:38,638 --> 00:05:42,165
make a woman happy who has no face.

72
00:05:43,443 --> 00:05:45,673
Which is why tonight's
party is gonna be great.

73
00:05:45,745 --> 00:05:48,475
l'm flying in Aunt Carrie,
Mom's best friends will be here.

74
00:05:48,548 --> 00:05:52,416
l even invited that lady she liked at
the magazine, Julie Zwickie.

75
00:05:54,087 --> 00:05:56,078
Did you say Julie Zwickie?

76
00:05:56,155 --> 00:06:00,819
No, l said,''Goodness, gracious!
These counters are sticky.''

77
00:06:00,893 --> 00:06:03,054
- Why are you back?
- l forgot my psych book.

78
00:06:03,129 --> 00:06:06,621
Ew! Just mentioning Julie Zwickie
makes my skin crawl.

79
00:06:06,699 --> 00:06:09,190
l thought you liked her.

80
00:06:09,268 --> 00:06:13,364
Not since l found out that she bad-mouthed
me when l worked at the magazine.

81
00:06:13,439 --> 00:06:19,207
lf l ever see that backstabbing witch again,
l'll squeeze her neck till her eyes pop out.

82
00:06:19,278 --> 00:06:23,647
- See you guys later!
- Have a nice day.

83
00:06:23,716 --> 00:06:25,741
Good party game.

84
00:06:28,020 --> 00:06:31,922
lnstead of charades, we can play
''Pop the Eyes Out of Julie Zwickie.''

85
00:06:37,830 --> 00:06:40,355
- Hi, Wilson.
- Jill?

86
00:06:40,433 --> 00:06:43,596
Tim?
What are you doing over there?

87
00:06:46,606 --> 00:06:48,005
Uh...

88
00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:52,443
Wilson called me at work
and said he's going out of town,

89
00:06:52,512 --> 00:06:55,606
so why don't l check to see if
his doors are locked.

90
00:06:55,681 --> 00:06:59,139
l thought you were at the library.
l was. l got home a couple hours ago.

91
00:06:59,218 --> 00:07:02,449
l'm looking through these photo albums
my mom gave me for my birthday.

92
00:07:02,522 --> 00:07:05,787
- <i>(Wilson whistles)</i>
- <i>Hit the deck!</i>

93
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:14,923
Jill's over there. Hold these.

94
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:23,706
Look. That's me at age eight
playing our old family piano.

95
00:07:23,776 --> 00:07:27,473
You look mighty cute
playing that old piece of junk.

96
00:07:27,547 --> 00:07:29,777
lt wasn't a piece of junk.
That was an antique.

97
00:07:29,849 --> 00:07:30,873
Uh-huh.

98
00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:34,215
Look how happy l am sitting there
practicing chopsticks.

99
00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:38,849
You were good to be able to eat Chinese
food and play the piano at the same time.

100
00:07:38,925 --> 00:07:41,951
- Gosh, l loved that piano.
- Mm-hm.

101
00:07:42,028 --> 00:07:46,522
And Dad got transferred to
a base in Europe and gave it away!

102
00:07:46,599 --> 00:07:48,965
l was so upset l cried
all the way to ltaly.

103
00:07:49,035 --> 00:07:50,730
Mm-hm-hm-hm-hm.

104
00:07:52,572 --> 00:07:55,405
Mm-hm-hm-hm-hm.

105
00:07:57,510 --> 00:08:00,502
Kind of reminds me of
my first scroll saw.

106
00:08:01,547 --> 00:08:06,746
- Your parents gave it away?
- No, no. l left it at the playground.

107
00:08:06,819 --> 00:08:09,151
l put a small motor in the teeter-totter.

108
00:08:09,222 --> 00:08:12,419
l shot this kid halfway across
the parking lot.

109
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:14,756
When l got back to the playground,
it was gone.

110
00:08:14,827 --> 00:08:16,761
l always wanted to track that thing down.

111
00:08:17,396 --> 00:08:19,660
Have you noticed when l tell you
a story about me,

112
00:08:19,732 --> 00:08:22,098
we wind up talking about you?

113
00:08:22,668 --> 00:08:25,102
Never noticed.

114
00:08:29,742 --> 00:08:33,576
Good going, Wilson. Maybe next time you'll
keep your ''hm-hm-hms'' to yourself.

115
00:08:33,646 --> 00:08:37,207
- Well, l am sorry, neighbor.
- OK. Your keys.

116
00:08:37,283 --> 00:08:39,877
- Hm.
- There you go.

117
00:08:39,952 --> 00:08:42,546
<i>(balloons popping)</i>

118
00:08:45,057 --> 00:08:48,424
- Al, no eating till we get to the party, OK?
- l'm sorry, Tim.

119
00:08:48,494 --> 00:08:53,932
But when they took my flannel away,
l was so upset l couldn't eat my lunch!

120
00:08:55,134 --> 00:08:58,126
lt's not like you couldn't miss
a meal now and then.

121
00:08:58,204 --> 00:09:00,195
Main dishes.
Who brought main dishes?

122
00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:03,470
Well, l've got a wok full of
my delicious kung-pao crickets.

123
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:06,171
Ew. Somebody else? Anybody else
bring a main dish?

124
00:09:06,245 --> 00:09:09,214
lt's OK. lt's OK. We brought a big bowl
of lobster salad.

125
00:09:09,282 --> 00:09:14,549
Oh, that's just perfect, Marty. Great.
Lobster makes Jill break out in hives.

126
00:09:14,620 --> 00:09:18,317
- Marty, why didn't you know that?
- l'm sorry.

127
00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:22,828
l guess l'll just start keeping a list of
all my relatives' allergies.

128
00:09:22,895 --> 00:09:25,090
Everybody, help get the lobster out of here.

129
00:09:25,164 --> 00:09:28,361
Just pick in and get the lobster out.
Quick, quick, quick.

130
00:09:32,004 --> 00:09:34,529
- Carrie, what'd you bring?
- Nothing.

131
00:09:34,607 --> 00:09:39,704
- You come and you don't bring anything?
- Tim, l came straight from the airport.

132
00:09:39,779 --> 00:09:44,443
- All l have are my peanuts from the plane.
- l'll take 'em.

133
00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:47,680
- Ooh Honey-roasted.
- Back off, Al.

134
00:09:47,753 --> 00:09:51,189
Put these in the salad. lt'll be like
a peanut pasta thing or something.

135
00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:54,624
Hey, everybody!

136
00:09:54,694 --> 00:09:57,959
- What are you doing here?
- l heard you were having a party for Jill.

137
00:09:58,030 --> 00:10:00,590
How come l wasn't invited?

138
00:10:00,666 --> 00:10:03,430
l didn't want you to feel obligated
to bring her a present.

139
00:10:03,502 --> 00:10:07,063
You know me.
l never feel obligated.

140
00:10:07,139 --> 00:10:11,132
Hey, l got the balloons.
l had to go all over town but l got 'em.

141
00:10:11,210 --> 00:10:17,046
Well, go all over town and take 'em back.
They say ''40th Birthday.'' lt's her 39th.

142
00:10:17,116 --> 00:10:19,778
Her 39th?
l thought this was her 40th birthday.

143
00:10:19,852 --> 00:10:22,252
Me, too.
Why not have the party next year?

144
00:10:22,321 --> 00:10:27,725
Because that's when a woman
falls apart and her face caves in.

145
00:10:29,495 --> 00:10:33,864
- Who told you that?
- Dad. He knows everything about women.

146
00:10:33,933 --> 00:10:35,764
ls that so?

147
00:10:35,835 --> 00:10:39,635
You know what the odd thing is?
This boy has two fathers.

148
00:10:39,705 --> 00:10:43,266
And it was the other father
who would've said something...

149
00:10:43,342 --> 00:10:44,536
Oh, boy.

150
00:10:44,610 --> 00:10:47,579
Why don't you tell us everything
you know about women, Tim?

151
00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:50,445
Yeah. We have a second.

152
00:10:51,617 --> 00:10:54,177
Boy, is it hot!
Are you hot at all here?

153
00:10:54,253 --> 00:10:56,244
Benny, can you help me with this?

154
00:10:56,322 --> 00:11:00,452
l can't. l thought women fell apart
when they hit 30.

155
00:11:00,526 --> 00:11:02,517
Oh! How could you say that?!

156
00:11:06,732 --> 00:11:08,723
- Hi, Brad.
- Where's Mom?

157
00:11:08,801 --> 00:11:13,101
- She's upstairs.
- Perfect. Everybody's at Wilson's waiting.

158
00:11:13,172 --> 00:11:14,264
<i>(phone ringing)</i>

159
00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:17,832
- Get that.
- Hello? Yeah, hold on a second.

160
00:11:17,910 --> 00:11:21,676
Hey, Dad, it's that woman Mom hates.
Julie Zwickie.

161
00:11:22,982 --> 00:11:26,383
She needs directions to the party.

162
00:11:29,088 --> 00:11:32,819
Hi, Julie. lt's Tim Taylor. Hi.
Where are you now?

163
00:11:32,892 --> 00:11:38,091
OK, quick. Get on 94, go west.
When you get to 1 0...

164
00:11:38,164 --> 00:11:40,962
l know, sounds pretty goofy, doesn't it?
But just listen.

165
00:11:41,033 --> 00:11:44,901
When you get to 1 0, go... 1 2 exits.

166
00:11:44,970 --> 00:11:48,929
You get off that exit and then just look for
our house. You can't miss it.

167
00:11:49,008 --> 00:11:54,207
OK. Look forward to seeing you. OK, bye.

168
00:11:56,182 --> 00:11:59,879
- Won't that take her to Canada?
- Yes, it will.

169
00:11:59,952 --> 00:12:01,544
lt'll be a perfect surprise.

170
00:12:01,620 --> 00:12:04,487
l'll go to the art show
and act like l've got a stomach ache.

171
00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:09,392
Be back in a half hour.
This is gonna be perfect! Honey!

172
00:12:09,462 --> 00:12:13,364
- Ready to go to the art show?
- No art show, l'm going to Toledo.

173
00:12:13,432 --> 00:12:15,900
- What?
- Yeah. l found my old piano.

174
00:12:15,968 --> 00:12:17,492
- What?
- l got the idea

175
00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:20,038
when you told me that story about
your scroll saw.

176
00:12:20,106 --> 00:12:22,904
- You hated that story!
- l did hate it when l first heard it.

177
00:12:22,975 --> 00:12:26,672
- But then l was inspired by it.
- Go with the hate! Go with the hate!

178
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:31,183
No. You see, when l was growing up
we were always moving around.

179
00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:34,117
My parents used to just
throw away all of our stuff.

180
00:12:34,186 --> 00:12:37,280
- So l have nothing left of my past.
- Sure you do.

181
00:12:37,356 --> 00:12:39,950
- You have those beautiful photo...
- That's not enough!

182
00:12:40,025 --> 00:12:42,755
My cousin Henry has the piano.
He says he'll give it to me.

183
00:12:42,828 --> 00:12:46,662
Movers will meet me there.
l'll be back in three or four hours.

184
00:12:46,732 --> 00:12:48,962
- Three or four?
- l'll see you later!

185
00:12:49,034 --> 00:12:51,559
Three or four hours?!

186
00:13:07,353 --> 00:13:09,651
- Did you eat a meatball?
- No!

187
00:13:09,722 --> 00:13:12,987
l said nobody eats until she gets back.
All right?

188
00:13:15,027 --> 00:13:17,018
Benny, Benny, Benny, Benny, Benny.

189
00:13:17,096 --> 00:13:20,327
l'm gonna save this for the toast.
ls that all right? OK?

190
00:13:20,399 --> 00:13:24,802
We can't drink anything or eat anything.
There's no guest of honor.

191
00:13:24,870 --> 00:13:27,532
You throw a heck of a party.

192
00:13:27,606 --> 00:13:32,236
lt's not my fault, Marty.
This whole thing was the kids' idea.

193
00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:39,842
Hey, we're not the ones who inspired her
with that dumb story about the scroll saw.

194
00:13:40,519 --> 00:13:42,578
- This is a disaster.
- Now what?

195
00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:46,250
Oh, l just called my service and found out
l have to fly to Norway immediately.

196
00:13:46,325 --> 00:13:48,316
- You're flying to Norway now?
- Yeah.

197
00:13:48,394 --> 00:13:51,261
l have to photograph a statue of
King Olaf in the morning.

198
00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:53,423
You can't leave Jill's party in the middle.

199
00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:58,095
The middle of the party?
When was the beginning?

200
00:13:59,972 --> 00:14:03,203
Can't you be late a couple days?
The statue's not gonna run away.

201
00:14:03,275 --> 00:14:07,905
Tim, it's a big job.
l can't blow off Olaf.

202
00:14:07,980 --> 00:14:10,642
You know, this is unbelievable.
l came all this way

203
00:14:10,716 --> 00:14:12,843
and now my sister won't even
know l was here.

204
00:14:12,918 --> 00:14:15,682
Yeah, wait a minute.
Yes, she will. Heidi?

205
00:14:15,754 --> 00:14:19,986
- My camera, please. Thank you, Heidi.
- You're welcome.

206
00:14:20,059 --> 00:14:22,357
- All right. Say cheese.
- We can eat the cheese?

207
00:14:22,428 --> 00:14:24,589
No!

208
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:28,633
OK, l'm off.

209
00:14:29,969 --> 00:14:33,166
- Marie, how are you holding up?
- Oh, l'm doing great, Tim.

210
00:14:33,239 --> 00:14:38,506
Considering my bum of a husband
left me for a 25-year-old meat packer.

211
00:14:38,577 --> 00:14:41,307
Oh, God, Tim.

212
00:14:41,380 --> 00:14:43,848
Wilson, could you help me out
just for a little bit?

213
00:14:43,916 --> 00:14:47,147
- Why certainly, neighbor. Hello, Marie.
- Hi, Wilson.

214
00:14:47,219 --> 00:14:49,619
l'm reminded of the poet,
Robert Burns, who said,

215
00:14:49,688 --> 00:14:54,091
''Had we ne'er lov'd so kindly,
had we ne'er lov'd sae blindly...''

216
00:14:55,961 --> 00:15:01,263
Tim, maybe you oughta just cancel
the party and have it on Jill's real birthday.

217
00:15:02,401 --> 00:15:06,394
- She will be back!
- l was just trying to help.

218
00:15:06,472 --> 00:15:08,997
- Well, l'm just trying...
- Don't snap at me!

219
00:15:09,074 --> 00:15:13,443
- l never knew you could be such a crab.
- We can eat the crab?

220
00:15:22,254 --> 00:15:24,984
Hello?

221
00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:28,223
Hello?

222
00:15:28,794 --> 00:15:30,625
Hello.

223
00:15:30,696 --> 00:15:37,534
- Oh, hi, Henry. l'm so excited to see you.
- Me, too. Who are you?

224
00:15:38,537 --> 00:15:42,029
l'm your cousin Jill. We just spoke on
the phone a couple of hours ago.

225
00:15:42,608 --> 00:15:45,133
Tell me more.

226
00:15:46,445 --> 00:15:50,176
l came here to get my old piano back.

227
00:15:50,249 --> 00:15:53,912
Remember? l told you the story about
how my dad gave your mom my piano

228
00:15:53,986 --> 00:15:58,480
and how crushed l was.
Devastated.

229
00:15:58,557 --> 00:16:01,993
- Heartbroken?
- Oh! Oh, that Jill.

230
00:16:02,061 --> 00:16:05,690
Sorry, l've been shellacking today.

231
00:16:05,764 --> 00:16:08,358
l get a little fuzzy.

232
00:16:11,837 --> 00:16:13,964
- Do you think we could go in?
- OK.

233
00:16:14,039 --> 00:16:16,200
Yeah.

234
00:16:17,710 --> 00:16:20,577
Wow! Look at all this stuff!

235
00:16:20,646 --> 00:16:24,138
- You like it?
- Yes. l do.

236
00:16:24,216 --> 00:16:28,710
You know, l remember when you used to
pick through our garbage.

237
00:16:28,787 --> 00:16:32,917
l had no idea you were gonna
shellac it and sell it for...

238
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:35,051
...a lot of money.

239
00:16:35,127 --> 00:16:37,857
lt's funny.
The garbage in the can is worth nothing.

240
00:16:37,930 --> 00:16:42,833
But once it's in a gallery people whip out
their checkbooks faster than you can say...

241
00:16:43,769 --> 00:16:46,795
whatever it is that people say.

242
00:16:47,906 --> 00:16:50,238
Well... put.

243
00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:59,447
Well, Henry, the movers will be
here any minute.

244
00:16:59,518 --> 00:17:02,282
l'm moving?

245
00:17:03,789 --> 00:17:08,749
No. You're gonna give back my old piano,
and l'm gonna take it to Detroit.

246
00:17:08,827 --> 00:17:11,819
- Right.
- Right.

247
00:17:11,897 --> 00:17:17,358
- So, Henry, where is the piano?
- Oh, it's over here.

248
00:17:23,409 --> 00:17:25,400
- This is my piano?
- Yeah.

249
00:17:26,578 --> 00:17:30,275
- l don't believe it.
- Thanks. Wait till you see this.

250
00:17:31,683 --> 00:17:35,084
<i>(train whistle)</i>

251
00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:44,787
lt's 1 0:30.
Maybe we should cut the cake.

252
00:17:44,863 --> 00:17:47,593
- Cake?
- Now you're talking.

253
00:17:47,666 --> 00:17:50,066
Somebody light
the candles and make a wish.

254
00:17:50,135 --> 00:17:54,037
l wish l didn't eat so many
kung-pao crickets.

255
00:17:54,106 --> 00:17:58,372
Keep getting this weird urge to
rub my legs together.

256
00:17:58,444 --> 00:18:03,279
- Jill's coming! Jill's coming! Shh!
- Finally! Everybody, hide! Quiet!

257
00:18:03,348 --> 00:18:06,146
- What's she doing?
- She's standing, staring at the sky.

258
00:18:06,218 --> 00:18:10,985
Go hide. Hide. Everybody, hide.
Don't touch that cake until l get back.

259
00:18:13,525 --> 00:18:17,791
Hey, l've been waiting for you.
What are you doing?

260
00:18:17,863 --> 00:18:21,424
Watching my dreams float away into
the far reaches of nothingness.

261
00:18:21,500 --> 00:18:24,162
l can't see them.

262
00:18:24,236 --> 00:18:29,230
- You can do that inside, can't ya?
- Tim. lt was such a depressing day.

263
00:18:29,308 --> 00:18:31,799
- My cousin ruined my piano.
- l'll get you another.

264
00:18:31,877 --> 00:18:35,369
- Let's talk about it inside.
- l don't want to talk about it.

265
00:18:35,447 --> 00:18:37,972
l think l just want to be alone.

266
00:18:38,050 --> 00:18:41,713
Surprise!

267
00:18:47,059 --> 00:18:51,120
l'm sorry things didn't go so smoothly.
l wanted this to be a special night for you.

268
00:18:51,196 --> 00:18:55,257
- lt was special.
- There were only 1 1 people here.

269
00:18:55,334 --> 00:18:57,768
Yeah. But 1 1 people l really love.

270
00:18:57,836 --> 00:19:01,237
Well, l mean, ten plus Benny.

271
00:19:01,306 --> 00:19:03,638
l'm sorry about that piano thing.

272
00:19:03,709 --> 00:19:06,405
Oh, it was crazy for me to go
chasing after that anyway.

273
00:19:06,478 --> 00:19:09,276
- No, it wasn't.
- Yes, it was.

274
00:19:09,348 --> 00:19:13,876
l was just trying to go back into my past
and find something l lost.

275
00:19:13,952 --> 00:19:16,318
We can do it another time.
l'll go with you.

276
00:19:16,388 --> 00:19:19,789
- We'll make a weekend out of it.
- That's OK, Tim.

277
00:19:19,858 --> 00:19:24,192
You know, when l walked in here tonight

278
00:19:24,263 --> 00:19:27,061
l saw all the things that have
meaning in my life.

279
00:19:27,132 --> 00:19:30,033
Great friends, wonderful family,

280
00:19:30,102 --> 00:19:37,508
a husband who cared enough to throw me
a party a year before my face caved in.

281
00:19:40,946 --> 00:19:43,039
- Oh, you heard that?
- Yeah, l heard that.

282
00:19:43,916 --> 00:19:48,979
So, honey, are you still gonna love me
when l'm all droopy and saggy?

283
00:19:49,054 --> 00:19:53,753
Come on! l already do.

284
00:19:53,825 --> 00:19:57,955
l fell in love with you
and l intend to fall apart with you. Hm?

285
00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:00,464
<i>(doorbel</i>l<i>)</i>

286
00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:06,335
- Who is that at this time of the night?
- lt's probably Al looking for leftovers.

287
00:20:15,380 --> 00:20:21,319
l'm sorry l'm late, but those directions
you gave me were terrible!

288
00:20:21,386 --> 00:20:26,824
- Julie Zwickie?
- Happy birthday!

289
00:20:30,796 --> 00:20:33,731
<i>(inaudible)</i>

290
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:37,628
Oh, thank you so much!

291
00:20:44,176 --> 00:20:47,907
- What is this?
- We did something special for you.

292
00:20:47,980 --> 00:20:51,507
- All right. Where do you want her?
- Right here. Perfect. Perfect.

293
00:20:51,583 --> 00:20:54,984
All right, Mom. What's the one thing
you want most in the whole world?

294
00:20:55,053 --> 00:20:57,715
Never to see Julie Zwickie again.

295
00:20:57,789 --> 00:21:00,656
Got that.
We got something real special for you.

296
00:21:00,726 --> 00:21:03,923
- Go ahead and take off the bandana.
- OK.

297
00:21:06,732 --> 00:21:11,260
A piano! Oh, my gosh! lt looks just like
the one l had when l was a kid!

298
00:21:11,336 --> 00:21:13,668
- lt is the one you had as a kid.
- No!

299
00:21:13,739 --> 00:21:16,367
You couldn't have! How could you do this?
lt was a mess.

300
00:21:16,441 --> 00:21:20,901
Well, not as big a mess as
<i>(country voice)</i> your cousin Henry.

301
00:21:23,682 --> 00:21:26,344
We spent two weeks restoring it
in Wilson's garage.

302
00:21:26,418 --> 00:21:30,514
Yeah. We would've had it done in a week
except Dad kept on playing with the train.

303
00:21:31,356 --> 00:21:35,224
Oh, l love it so much. Thank you. Oh, thank
you, honey.

304
00:21:35,294 --> 00:21:39,321
- Happy birthday.
- And honey! And honey! And honey!

305
00:21:39,398 --> 00:21:43,528
Woo! Let me see, what do l remember?
Um... OK.

306
00:21:43,602 --> 00:21:47,698
<i>(# ''Fr lise'' by Beethoven)</i>

307
00:21:47,773 --> 00:21:49,764
<i>(plays o-key)</i>

308
00:21:57,249 --> 00:22:00,218
l wonder how long it would take to
turn it back into an aquarium.

309
00:22:04,189 --> 00:22:07,056
Let's clean up.
lt'll be the best party we ever gave her.

310
00:22:07,125 --> 00:22:09,525
You think she suspects anything?

311
00:22:09,594 --> 00:22:12,757
l think that having the party two weeks
before the real thing...

312
00:22:12,831 --> 00:22:15,698
<i>(indistinct)</i>

313
00:22:17,102 --> 00:22:20,128
Whose idea was it for everybody to
bring their favorite dish?

314
00:22:20,205 --> 00:22:23,641
Mine.

315
00:22:23,709 --> 00:22:27,110
l'm sick and tired of your insolence, boys.

316
00:22:38,190 --> 00:22:40,181
Dad<i>... (laughs)</i>