1 00:00:08,341 --> 00:00:13,108 Welcome to a special Tool Time on location. l am Tim ''the Tool Man'' Taylor. 2 00:00:13,179 --> 00:00:17,206 And you all know my assistant, Al ''La Carte'' Borland. 3 00:00:17,283 --> 00:00:21,913 We're here on location to introduce to you another unsung hero of the job site. 4 00:00:21,988 --> 00:00:26,254 That's right. Heidi, my unsung heroes theme music, please. 5 00:00:26,326 --> 00:00:29,921 Heidi. Heidi! Guys, back to work, please. 6 00:00:29,996 --> 00:00:31,793 Here you go, Tim. 7 00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:34,732 (# march) 8 00:00:34,801 --> 00:00:38,066 # He gets no thanks and that ain't right 9 00:00:38,138 --> 00:00:41,972 # He's the unsung hero of the job site 10 00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:47,173 All right, today we're gonna meet the man who drives this great-looking lunch wagon. 11 00:00:47,247 --> 00:00:50,739 Hi, there. This is Nick Cantalupo. The man, the melon. 12 00:00:50,817 --> 00:00:52,512 Thanks, Tim. Uh... 13 00:00:52,585 --> 00:00:56,749 Your food service vehicle doesn't get much respect in the culinary community. 14 00:00:56,823 --> 00:01:00,554 People call it the ''roach coach,'' the ''barf bus,'' 15 00:01:00,627 --> 00:01:03,187 the ''upchuck wagon,'' the ''vomit van.'' 16 00:01:03,263 --> 00:01:05,823 Well, Nick, you're really whetting my appetite. 17 00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:10,165 Good. Because today we're serving up some really savory selections. 18 00:01:10,236 --> 00:01:13,603 Chili and onions, chili cheese dogs, three-cheese chili omelets. 19 00:01:13,673 --> 00:01:16,665 (whistles) l think l've died and gone to heaven. 20 00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:18,836 l know what killed ya. 21 00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:22,746 - Why don't you show us inside the truck? - Glad to, Al. 22 00:01:22,816 --> 00:01:25,444 (whistles) Boy, Nick! This place is immaculate. 23 00:01:25,518 --> 00:01:30,182 Thank you, Tim. l take great pride in my sanitary skills. 24 00:01:30,256 --> 00:01:33,157 Over here we have your heated service trays. 25 00:01:33,226 --> 00:01:35,820 Now, this looks to be some type of a cooling unit. 26 00:01:35,895 --> 00:01:39,922 Yes, Al. ln our business, we refer to it as a refrigerator. 27 00:01:39,999 --> 00:01:44,060 And over here, this is Rosie, the fastest short-order cook in the business. 28 00:01:44,137 --> 00:01:46,367 - Hi, Rosie. - Tell her whatever you want, 29 00:01:46,439 --> 00:01:48,532 and you'll be eating before you're done ordering. 30 00:01:48,608 --> 00:01:54,069 Three stacks of pancakes, eggs over- medium, home fries smothered in chili. 31 00:01:54,147 --> 00:01:57,639 (mock-belches) Boy, that was good. Very fast. 32 00:02:00,687 --> 00:02:02,678 Pretty fast, huh? 33 00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:07,987 She is fast. 34 00:02:11,030 --> 00:02:14,193 - Hey! - Wow! She's speedy with a spatula. 35 00:02:14,267 --> 00:02:16,462 l don't want to brag, but l'm speedier. 36 00:02:16,536 --> 00:02:20,404 - ls he for real? - lt's a question l often ask myself. 37 00:02:20,473 --> 00:02:23,465 l worked my way through college as a short-order cook. 38 00:02:23,543 --> 00:02:28,139 You get pretty speedy after eight-and-a-half years. Rosie, may l? 39 00:02:33,386 --> 00:02:36,184 A little more butter on there. All right. 40 00:02:43,630 --> 00:02:47,327 Don't worry about these eggshells, because basically, it's roughage. 41 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:50,301 To spice it up a little bit, l like a little of this just... 42 00:02:50,370 --> 00:02:52,565 Ah, OK. There you go. 43 00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:57,906 Now, watch. l learned this little trick my senior year. 44 00:03:02,148 --> 00:03:04,673 Get some plates. l'm all ready to go. Ready to go. 45 00:03:04,751 --> 00:03:09,711 l tell you what, Nick - you hold the plate. Look at that. Huh? 46 00:03:11,157 --> 00:03:15,457 Clean it up there. As speedy as l remember. What do you think, Nick? 47 00:03:18,131 --> 00:03:21,430 Maybe another year of college would've helped my accuracy a bit. 48 00:03:21,501 --> 00:03:24,766 You know, you have your choice of toast, Nick. 49 00:04:16,356 --> 00:04:18,756 Hey! How're you doing? Good to see you. 50 00:04:18,825 --> 00:04:21,385 Hey, Milton. How's everything? Good to see you. 51 00:04:21,461 --> 00:04:23,725 - Hey, guys. - Hello, Mr. Harper, sir. 52 00:04:23,796 --> 00:04:25,423 - Hey. - Hey, boss. 53 00:04:25,498 --> 00:04:29,229 - Great show today at that catering truck. - Thanks very much. 54 00:04:29,302 --> 00:04:32,294 Some of your funniest stuff, Tim. Yeah. 55 00:04:32,372 --> 00:04:33,771 What about me? 56 00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:36,274 You were in it, too? 57 00:04:36,342 --> 00:04:38,867 Yes. But if it pleases you, l can be edited out. 58 00:04:38,945 --> 00:04:43,541 Relax, Borland. l'm just giving you a hard time. Where's your sense of humor? 59 00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:46,585 ln a little town called Nowhere. 60 00:04:48,054 --> 00:04:51,717 lf you'll excuse me, l'll go someplace where l get a bit more respect. 61 00:04:51,791 --> 00:04:55,955 - Where's that, Al? - A little town called Anywhere But Here. 62 00:04:57,864 --> 00:05:01,300 Uh, Tim, you're a big Pistons fan, right? 63 00:05:01,367 --> 00:05:03,665 Yeah. One of the all-time great auto parts. 64 00:05:03,736 --> 00:05:05,601 (grunts) 65 00:05:05,672 --> 00:05:09,039 - No. l'm talking about the basketball team. - Mm-hmm. 66 00:05:09,108 --> 00:05:13,340 Yeah. How would you like a couple of season tickets? 67 00:05:13,413 --> 00:05:16,405 - You're gonna give me season tickets? - Yes, l am... 68 00:05:16,482 --> 00:05:19,815 Right after you pay me for them. 69 00:05:19,886 --> 00:05:22,252 This guy is selling me his court-side seats, 70 00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:25,348 so l'm giving my favorite Tool Man first crack at my old ones. 71 00:05:25,425 --> 00:05:28,553 Oh, boy. Season tickets. That is just... 72 00:05:28,628 --> 00:05:31,859 - Yeah, yeah. Fifth row, center court. - Ooh! 73 00:05:31,931 --> 00:05:35,799 l mean, these seats are so good you can high-five with the team mascot. 74 00:05:35,868 --> 00:05:37,130 - What? - Yeah. 75 00:05:37,203 --> 00:05:40,434 - Sir Slam-A-Lot! - That's right. 76 00:05:40,506 --> 00:05:44,272 Oh, this is a dream, man. This is really a dream - season tickets. 77 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:47,177 - l'd better call Jill. - Oh, no. No time for that. No. 78 00:05:47,246 --> 00:05:51,649 A VP at General Motors also wants them, and l'm meeting him for lunch at about two. 79 00:05:51,718 --> 00:05:53,151 What time is it now? 80 00:05:53,219 --> 00:05:55,710 1 :59. 81 00:05:55,788 --> 00:05:57,517 Let me sleep on it. (snores) 82 00:05:57,590 --> 00:05:58,921 OK. 83 00:06:01,961 --> 00:06:02,950 Hike. 84 00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:06,328 He's out, he throws to the quarterback. Turns around. Yeah! 85 00:06:06,399 --> 00:06:08,094 - Touchdown! - Touchdown. 86 00:06:08,167 --> 00:06:11,830 Hey, guys. You won't believe what l bought today. 87 00:06:12,538 --> 00:06:14,233 Whoa! Pistons tickets. 88 00:06:14,307 --> 00:06:19,370 Not only Pistons tickets - season tickets. And they're all mine, mine, mine, mine. 89 00:06:19,445 --> 00:06:21,276 Wah-wah-wah-wah. 90 00:06:23,716 --> 00:06:26,617 You know, Dad, l was just thinking 91 00:06:26,686 --> 00:06:31,282 that you and l really don't get to spend enough quality time together. 92 00:06:31,357 --> 00:06:35,191 l bet you figure we could bond nicely at the BullsPistons game. 93 00:06:35,261 --> 00:06:38,287 - l want to bond at the Orlando game. - No, no. 94 00:06:38,364 --> 00:06:41,231 l gave that ticket to Nick Cantalupo. 95 00:06:41,300 --> 00:06:45,066 - Who's he? - A very angry man. 96 00:06:45,138 --> 00:06:46,435 - ls Mom home? - Nope. 97 00:06:46,506 --> 00:06:50,442 - She's with Mark getting him new glasses. - l can't believe she let you buy these. 98 00:06:50,510 --> 00:06:52,637 What do you mean, ''let'' me? 99 00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:56,373 - You didn't tell Mom? - No. 100 00:06:56,983 --> 00:06:59,110 l knew it was too good to be true. 101 00:06:59,185 --> 00:07:03,849 Hold it. There's nothing to worry about. Let me explain how this marriage works. 102 00:07:03,923 --> 00:07:08,553 Your mom and l don't need to talk over every decision, you know. 103 00:07:08,628 --> 00:07:12,621 - Why can't l get contact lenses? - l didn't say that you couldn't. 104 00:07:12,698 --> 00:07:17,362 l said that we have to check with your father first. 105 00:07:18,704 --> 00:07:20,103 That's how our marriage works. 106 00:07:20,173 --> 00:07:24,109 We don't make decisions without checking with each other. Hi. 107 00:07:24,744 --> 00:07:30,182 Unless the decision had to be made in a minute, 'cause if both partners agree... 108 00:07:30,249 --> 00:07:32,308 Autonomous decisions are not bad... 109 00:07:32,385 --> 00:07:35,616 lt's not unusual for a partner to make a decision without... 110 00:07:35,688 --> 00:07:38,851 lt does happen in a marriage that you can make those... 111 00:07:38,925 --> 00:07:40,187 lt does... You can... 112 00:07:40,259 --> 00:07:42,284 (clears throat) 113 00:07:44,864 --> 00:07:47,628 Boys, will you excuse us for a moment, please? 114 00:07:47,700 --> 00:07:50,601 - Good luck, Dad. - Think bonding. 115 00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:55,441 OK, Tim. 116 00:07:55,508 --> 00:07:58,477 What did you buy and how little do we need it? 117 00:07:58,544 --> 00:08:03,277 lt's no big deal. Bud offered me some Pistons tickets, so l bought them. 118 00:08:03,349 --> 00:08:06,182 - How much were they? - $50 apiece. 119 00:08:07,053 --> 00:08:10,853 - Well, that's not so bad. - No, it's not. Here we go. 120 00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:14,960 - How many games? - (softly) All of them. 121 00:08:15,027 --> 00:08:17,086 What? 122 00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:19,154 All of them. 123 00:08:20,566 --> 00:08:24,900 - How many games is that? - Well, more than none and less than 41 . 124 00:08:27,206 --> 00:08:31,199 40 games at $50 apiece? That's, like, $ 2,000! 125 00:08:31,277 --> 00:08:35,509 - Per seat. - Per seat? How many seats did you buy? 126 00:08:35,581 --> 00:08:38,277 One... and the one next to it. 127 00:08:40,786 --> 00:08:44,586 Two seats! That's... that's $4,000! 128 00:08:44,657 --> 00:08:49,094 Unless they get in the play-offs. 'Cause play-off tickets are more than regular seats. 129 00:08:49,161 --> 00:08:53,393 - More? - lt is ridiculous. l'll send them a letter. 130 00:08:53,466 --> 00:08:56,765 And send it from a new address! 131 00:08:58,137 --> 00:09:01,197 Let's not worry about the play-offs. They'll never make it! 132 00:09:01,274 --> 00:09:04,402 What am l talking about? They're a lousy team this year. 133 00:09:04,477 --> 00:09:07,844 You spent $4,000 on a lousy team? 134 00:09:10,182 --> 00:09:12,446 - Let me explain about basketball. - All right. 135 00:09:12,518 --> 00:09:15,976 You cannot get season tickets like this with a good team. 136 00:09:16,055 --> 00:09:20,685 You gotta ride out the bad years, hoping for a good one. 137 00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:26,198 That's what you said 1 7 years ago when l married you. l'm still waiting for a good one. 138 00:09:27,767 --> 00:09:30,258 (mock laughter) 139 00:09:30,336 --> 00:09:34,830 l can't believe that you made a decision like this without discussing it with me first. 140 00:09:34,907 --> 00:09:39,241 Bud needed an answer right away. And you buy a lot of stuff without asking me. 141 00:09:39,312 --> 00:09:40,973 Like what? 142 00:09:41,047 --> 00:09:43,140 This couch. 143 00:09:43,215 --> 00:09:46,582 How can you compare? l bought the couch because we need a place to sit! 144 00:09:46,652 --> 00:09:51,885 That's why l bought the tickets. l want to go to the game. l need a place to sit. 145 00:09:52,925 --> 00:09:57,862 This money is for education. For my graduate school, the kids' college fund... 146 00:09:57,930 --> 00:10:01,024 l won't dip into the fund. We'll get the money someplace else. 147 00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:03,466 - Where? - Well, you know, l wouldn't... 148 00:10:03,536 --> 00:10:06,664 l wouldn't mind giving up that vacation we had planned. 149 00:10:06,739 --> 00:10:09,207 You didn't care about going to New York anyway. 150 00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:13,439 We don't have to now, 'cause the New York Knicks are coming to town. 151 00:10:13,512 --> 00:10:19,280 The Washington Bullets, the Celtics - the entire Eastern seaboard'll be right here! 152 00:10:21,887 --> 00:10:24,048 Don't look at me like that. 153 00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:27,752 Then put the money back in the bank account. 154 00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:31,259 Did l explain that, from where these seats are, 155 00:10:31,330 --> 00:10:34,026 - you can touch the mascot, Sir... - (door slams) 156 00:10:34,100 --> 00:10:36,091 ...Slam-A-Lot? 157 00:10:41,741 --> 00:10:44,733 - Hey, guys. - Hey. How're you doing, Harry? 158 00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:48,712 Oh, what a surprise. Benny's still here. Hey, Al. 159 00:10:48,781 --> 00:10:51,909 Did you take your mother-in-law to get her bunions removed? 160 00:10:51,984 --> 00:10:57,445 Yeah. But l'd rather have kept the bunions and had my mother-in-law removed. 161 00:10:57,523 --> 00:11:01,084 Hey, Harry. You hear Tim picked up season tickets to the Pistons? 162 00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:05,654 l hope it doesn't go to his head. A guy gets season tickets, it affects his demeanor. 163 00:11:05,731 --> 00:11:08,131 Nah. Tim isn't like that. 164 00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:12,068 Yeah. Besides, people only change if you treat them different. 165 00:11:12,138 --> 00:11:14,265 And we're not gonna do that. 166 00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:17,408 - Hey, guys. - Hey! 167 00:11:17,476 --> 00:11:22,379 Hey! Good to see you, man! Hey! Get him a cup of coffee and a bear claw. 168 00:11:22,448 --> 00:11:24,609 - He takes sugar in that coffee. - My pleasure. 169 00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:28,142 lt would be an honor to serve my best friend. 170 00:11:28,988 --> 00:11:32,355 Does me being your best friend have anything to do with having season tickets? 171 00:11:32,425 --> 00:11:35,019 The two things are not unrelated. 172 00:11:36,062 --> 00:11:39,964 Well, look, he's taking me to the game first because l'm his hardware guy. 173 00:11:40,032 --> 00:11:42,762 No. lf anyone deserves to go, it's me. l'm his brother. 174 00:11:42,835 --> 00:11:48,137 Excuse me. l'm the one that risks his life every day working next to him. 175 00:11:49,475 --> 00:11:51,943 - Uh, the man's got a point. - All right, OK. 176 00:11:52,011 --> 00:11:53,808 But l'm next after Al. 177 00:11:53,879 --> 00:11:58,407 Maybe none of you are going, because maybe l'm not keeping the tickets. 178 00:11:59,585 --> 00:12:01,883 Why would you give up season tickets? 179 00:12:01,954 --> 00:12:05,355 When l went home and told Jill l bought them, she got mad and... 180 00:12:05,424 --> 00:12:07,153 - she gave me the look. - Ooh. 181 00:12:07,226 --> 00:12:09,592 Not the look. What's the look? 182 00:12:09,662 --> 00:12:13,530 Oh, come on. lt's just the most potent weapon in a woman's arsenal. 183 00:12:13,599 --> 00:12:19,003 Her face will transform right in front of you. Her lips get really tight like this. 184 00:12:20,139 --> 00:12:23,472 Yeah. And then her whole face shrivels up. lt's like... 185 00:12:24,477 --> 00:12:27,002 Yeah. And then her eyes get real small 186 00:12:27,079 --> 00:12:32,176 and meet right in the middle of her head like a Cyclops in a housecoat. 187 00:12:33,052 --> 00:12:36,954 Just when you think you can't take anymore, she lines you up 188 00:12:37,022 --> 00:12:39,149 and finishes you off. 189 00:12:40,159 --> 00:12:41,922 Ohh! 190 00:12:41,994 --> 00:12:43,928 l'm never getting married. 191 00:12:43,996 --> 00:12:47,124 And not just because women can't stand me. 192 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:50,498 l hate the look. 193 00:12:50,569 --> 00:12:54,437 What do you know about the look? You're not even married. 194 00:12:54,507 --> 00:12:57,533 l get the look when l'm snippy to Mother. 195 00:13:05,518 --> 00:13:09,750 But in your mom's case, the look's actually an improvement. 196 00:13:10,523 --> 00:13:12,582 Hey, Tim, you have to keep the tickets. 197 00:13:12,658 --> 00:13:15,855 l don't think l can. No, l don't know if this is gonna be worth it. 198 00:13:15,928 --> 00:13:18,590 Every time l go to a Pistons game, l'll get the look. 199 00:13:18,664 --> 00:13:21,189 And what about the look you get when you get home? 200 00:13:21,267 --> 00:13:23,701 (shudders) 201 00:13:23,769 --> 00:13:26,567 That's two looks per game. 202 00:13:27,406 --> 00:13:30,739 Times 40 games, that's 80 looks. 203 00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:34,769 And that doesn't count the looks l get for just doing normal bad things. 204 00:13:34,847 --> 00:13:38,943 Yeah. But you gotta stand your ground. You can't let your wife intimidate you. 205 00:13:39,018 --> 00:13:40,485 - Harry! - Dolores! 206 00:13:40,553 --> 00:13:43,317 Uh, what are you doing here? 207 00:13:43,389 --> 00:13:47,155 You want to know what l'm doing here? l'll tell you what l'm doing here. 208 00:13:47,226 --> 00:13:50,457 You all remember my lovely wife, Dolores. 209 00:13:50,529 --> 00:13:53,123 - Hi. Nice seeing you. - How are you? 210 00:13:54,233 --> 00:13:57,964 How could you drop my mother off at the podiatrist and just leave her there? 211 00:13:58,037 --> 00:14:00,369 l gave her bus fare. 212 00:14:00,439 --> 00:14:04,569 She just called. She can't even get her shoes on. Go back and pick her up. 213 00:14:04,643 --> 00:14:07,043 - Why can't you? - l'm in the middle of a shift. 214 00:14:07,112 --> 00:14:09,774 - Well, l'm working too. - Yeah, right. 215 00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:15,549 Looks like you're killing yourself. Harry, l'm telling you to go get her. 216 00:14:18,624 --> 00:14:21,218 l'm telling you no. 217 00:14:21,293 --> 00:14:23,727 Look out, guys. Here it comes. 218 00:14:49,121 --> 00:14:51,112 Oh, my God! 219 00:14:55,027 --> 00:14:58,121 l've never seen anything like it. 220 00:14:58,197 --> 00:15:02,327 Where's the podiatrist? l'll go get her myself. 221 00:15:03,168 --> 00:15:05,466 Listen, l'll drive you there. 222 00:15:06,405 --> 00:15:08,566 l'll show you the way! 223 00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:18,839 Thank goodness we shut our eyes at the right time, Marty. 224 00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:21,045 Man, they're dropping like flies. 225 00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:24,851 - Hey, Tim. You gotta stand up to Jill. - Oh. 226 00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:26,448 No, no. 227 00:15:26,525 --> 00:15:30,120 'Cause every time one of us gets beaten down by the look... 228 00:15:30,195 --> 00:15:33,790 ...a little piece of every man dies. 229 00:15:33,866 --> 00:15:36,994 And l think we all know what that piece is. 230 00:15:45,377 --> 00:15:49,006 My contact lens has to be around here somewhere. 231 00:15:49,915 --> 00:15:51,075 Way to go, Mark. 232 00:15:51,150 --> 00:15:55,814 The contact has spent more time on the floor than it has in your eyes. 233 00:15:55,888 --> 00:15:57,856 Anybody home? 234 00:15:57,923 --> 00:15:59,254 - Hey, guys. - Hey, Dad. 235 00:15:59,325 --> 00:16:01,293 - (Brad) Hey, Dad. - Well... 236 00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:04,796 l don't care what you're playing, but l'm in. 237 00:16:06,765 --> 00:16:09,427 lt's called ''Looking for Mark's Contact.'' 238 00:16:09,501 --> 00:16:11,492 How do you play? 239 00:16:13,272 --> 00:16:16,036 You look for Mark's contact. 240 00:16:16,108 --> 00:16:18,406 OK. Whose turn? 241 00:16:19,912 --> 00:16:23,575 OK, Dad. lt's yours. OK, one, two three... go! 242 00:16:26,685 --> 00:16:28,744 (Brad chuckles) 243 00:16:32,424 --> 00:16:35,120 Wait, l found it! 244 00:16:35,194 --> 00:16:38,129 lt was in my eye the whole time. 245 00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:41,322 Well, if you're gonna cheat... 246 00:16:44,803 --> 00:16:47,101 What's happening with the basketball tickets? 247 00:16:47,172 --> 00:16:49,697 - Have you caved in? - l'm not giving up the tickets. 248 00:16:49,775 --> 00:16:53,108 'Cause if l do, a little piece of every man dies. 249 00:16:53,178 --> 00:16:55,544 Which piece? 250 00:16:56,982 --> 00:16:59,507 You just never mind. 251 00:16:59,585 --> 00:17:01,917 - Tim, we need to talk. - Boys? 252 00:17:01,987 --> 00:17:04,080 We know, we know. 253 00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:08,493 OK. 254 00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:12,496 l was thinking about the tickets, and maybe l was a little unfair. 255 00:17:12,564 --> 00:17:15,590 - Really? - l know how important they are to you. 256 00:17:15,667 --> 00:17:18,966 So l think l've come up with a really good compromise. 257 00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:22,701 How about you keep the tickets for five games, 258 00:17:22,775 --> 00:17:24,367 and you sell off the rest? 259 00:17:24,443 --> 00:17:28,743 - Five out of 40? That's a compromise? - That's $500. l think that's fair. 260 00:17:28,814 --> 00:17:30,509 You don't understand the concept. 261 00:17:30,582 --> 00:17:35,383 These are season tickets, not whenever- -your-wife-wants-you-to-go tickets. 262 00:17:35,454 --> 00:17:37,422 So you're not willing to budge at all? 263 00:17:37,489 --> 00:17:41,425 lf l give up my tickets because of my wife, other wives will pick up on this. 264 00:17:41,493 --> 00:17:44,553 Soon, wives everywhere are gonna be going, (female voice) ''You know, 265 00:17:44,630 --> 00:17:49,033 the Tool Man gave up his season tickets. You should too.'' 266 00:17:50,302 --> 00:17:52,532 Attendance starts dropping at stadiums. 267 00:17:52,604 --> 00:17:57,598 Next thing we know, it's the end of professional sports worldwide. 268 00:17:57,676 --> 00:18:00,941 You are just completely unwilling to compromise! 269 00:18:01,013 --> 00:18:05,313 Yeah. l don't even know the meaning of the word ''compromise.'' 270 00:18:05,384 --> 00:18:08,945 You don't know the meaning to a lot of words. 271 00:18:10,722 --> 00:18:13,316 And don't you forget it. 272 00:18:31,743 --> 00:18:34,906 - Hey, Wilson. - Well, hi-dee-ho, neighbor. 273 00:18:34,980 --> 00:18:38,575 - What are you doing? - l'm barbecuing some jerk. 274 00:18:39,451 --> 00:18:42,113 Anybody l know? 275 00:18:42,187 --> 00:18:46,283 Actually, jerk is a very spicy dish native to the island of Jamaica. 276 00:18:46,358 --> 00:18:50,522 You know, l'm thinking of going down there and doing a little bamboo rafting. 277 00:18:50,596 --> 00:18:53,724 Well, you got it made. Unattached guy like you... 278 00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:56,893 You don't need permission to go to 40 Pistons games. 279 00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:58,960 Uh-oh. 280 00:19:00,772 --> 00:19:04,765 l take it Jill was not too thrilled with your recent purchase. 281 00:19:04,843 --> 00:19:09,780 That's putting it mildly. First, she gave me the look. 282 00:19:10,749 --> 00:19:13,377 The look! 283 00:19:13,452 --> 00:19:18,253 - You know about the look? - Tim, every man knows about the look. 284 00:19:18,323 --> 00:19:21,815 Wives have been giving their husbands the look for untold centuries. 285 00:19:21,894 --> 00:19:25,091 ln fact, the look was the reason brides started wearing veils. 286 00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:28,656 lt was long believed that the penetrating stare of a bride 287 00:19:28,734 --> 00:19:32,830 could weaken her husband and render him impotent. 288 00:19:34,873 --> 00:19:39,367 l thought that was caused by all the brown liquor at the reception. 289 00:19:39,444 --> 00:19:41,776 Well, that could do it too, Tim. 290 00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:46,307 l gotta be honest with you. Jill's look did weaken me. lt did. 291 00:19:46,385 --> 00:19:48,876 - But l didn't break. - Ah. 292 00:19:48,954 --> 00:19:52,651 Then she brought out the sneakiest, most underhanded trick in the book. 293 00:19:52,724 --> 00:19:55,716 - What was that? - Compromise. 294 00:19:55,794 --> 00:19:57,056 Ah! 295 00:19:57,129 --> 00:20:00,098 The old ploy where both sides decide to be reasonable. 296 00:20:00,165 --> 00:20:03,657 Reasonable? Five games out of 40 is reasonable? l don't think... 297 00:20:03,735 --> 00:20:06,670 - What was your counteroffer? - l don't think that applies. 298 00:20:06,738 --> 00:20:09,502 - Because you didn't make one. - No, l did not. 299 00:20:09,575 --> 00:20:12,703 You know, l'm reminded of an old philosopher who once said: 300 00:20:12,778 --> 00:20:15,440 ''You have to give a little, take a little...'' 301 00:20:15,514 --> 00:20:18,381 ''Let your poor heart break a little.'' 302 00:20:20,852 --> 00:20:22,820 # That's the story of 303 00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:25,516 # That's the glory of love 304 00:20:26,325 --> 00:20:28,816 All right, Nick. You got Atlanta on the second. 305 00:20:28,894 --> 00:20:32,489 - Got it. - l want Seattle on the 1 5th of November. 306 00:20:32,564 --> 00:20:36,193 - All right, Al. You got it. - OK. But l want the Bulls on January 21 st. 307 00:20:36,268 --> 00:20:41,467 - January 21 st is our anniversary. - Well, guess where we're going. 308 00:20:42,841 --> 00:20:44,331 Over my dead body. 309 00:20:44,409 --> 00:20:48,573 Well, at least for once it'll be nice and quiet in the car. 310 00:20:48,647 --> 00:20:52,515 - Dolores, l'll take the Bulls. - l'll go with you. 311 00:20:52,584 --> 00:20:55,519 - lf you got the Bulls, l'm taking Houston. - l'll go with you. 312 00:20:55,587 --> 00:20:58,886 - l want Phoenix. - l'll go with you. 313 00:20:58,957 --> 00:21:00,720 l don't even know you. 314 00:21:00,792 --> 00:21:03,283 Who really knows anybody? 315 00:21:05,030 --> 00:21:08,090 - Well, hi, everyone. - Hi, honey. Um... 316 00:21:08,166 --> 00:21:09,827 - Watch the board. - Sure. 317 00:21:09,901 --> 00:21:12,301 - What's going on? - Um... 318 00:21:13,505 --> 00:21:15,632 l decided to compromise. 319 00:21:15,707 --> 00:21:17,641 You did? 320 00:21:17,709 --> 00:21:21,008 You gotta give a little, take a little... 321 00:21:21,079 --> 00:21:23,377 Uh... 322 00:21:23,448 --> 00:21:24,779 Want me to sing it? 323 00:21:24,850 --> 00:21:29,549 Not really. But l would like to hear some more about this compromise. 324 00:21:29,621 --> 00:21:31,179 OK. 325 00:21:31,256 --> 00:21:36,387 l wanted all 40. You wanted five. What do you say we settle on 1 5? 326 00:21:36,461 --> 00:21:39,191 Fifteen's still a lot of money. 327 00:21:39,264 --> 00:21:41,698 - Let's settle on ten. - How about eight? 328 00:21:41,767 --> 00:21:43,496 - Ten. - How about none? 329 00:21:43,568 --> 00:21:46,059 Eight's good. 330 00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:47,230 OK. 331 00:21:47,306 --> 00:21:50,503 - Tim, could we see you for a second here? - Yeah? 332 00:21:50,575 --> 00:21:54,705 Harry's got an interesting point. What if the Pistons get into the play-offs? 333 00:21:54,780 --> 00:21:56,543 How do we divvy up those tickets? 334 00:21:56,615 --> 00:22:00,949 The play-offs cost more money anyway, right? l already got my eight tickets. 335 00:22:01,019 --> 00:22:03,920 - You fight over 'em. - You're giving up play-off tickets? 336 00:22:03,989 --> 00:22:07,550 Yes, Marty. Because l know ''The Glory of Love.'' 337 00:22:08,794 --> 00:22:11,228 Want me to sing it? 338 00:22:11,296 --> 00:22:13,287 No, thank you. 339 00:22:14,700 --> 00:22:18,067 lf the Pistons make the play-offs, can l buy some games? 340 00:22:18,136 --> 00:22:20,604 What do you want with play-off games, honey? 341 00:22:20,672 --> 00:22:22,640 l'm gonna take my husband. 342 00:22:22,708 --> 00:22:24,175 Hey. 343 00:22:24,242 --> 00:22:26,676 Your husband's a very lucky man. 344 00:22:27,312 --> 00:22:30,475 How come you never say anything nice like that to me? 345 00:22:30,549 --> 00:22:33,575 Your husband isn't as lucky. 346 00:22:40,325 --> 00:22:44,159 - l want the Knicks on February 21 st. - Oh, l hate the Knicks. 347 00:22:44,229 --> 00:22:46,220 l'll go with you. 348 00:22:47,065 --> 00:22:50,057 Oh, sorry, Dolores. That's one of my eight. 349 00:22:50,135 --> 00:22:52,865 l'm from New York, and l want the Knicks. 350 00:22:52,938 --> 00:22:56,374 Well, l'm from Detroit, and l like the Knicks. l'm not selling them. 351 00:22:56,441 --> 00:22:58,432 Oh, really? 352 00:23:07,886 --> 00:23:11,481 She is good. Really good. 353 00:23:13,792 --> 00:23:16,352 l'm telling you no! 354 00:23:16,428 --> 00:23:18,862 Look out, guys. Here it comes.