1 00:00:03,870 --> 00:00:06,338 Welcome back to ''Gadget Corner.'' 2 00:00:06,406 --> 00:00:09,500 Next, we have an air-powered appliance mover. 3 00:00:09,576 --> 00:00:12,374 This is a very useful device. l have one of these myself. 4 00:00:12,445 --> 00:00:16,074 lt's a way to move furniture without scratching the floor or hurting your back. 5 00:00:16,149 --> 00:00:17,946 The panels are attached to a blower unit. 6 00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:20,384 Right. Marv, close in here. l'll show you these. 7 00:00:20,453 --> 00:00:22,683 The air is forced into these aluminum air beams. 8 00:00:22,756 --> 00:00:26,351 Which creates enough air pressure to lift weights of up to 700 pounds. 9 00:00:26,426 --> 00:00:29,486 Which is how Al moves his mom room to room. 10 00:00:30,597 --> 00:00:32,588 Can we just... 11 00:00:36,603 --> 00:00:38,662 Can we just demonstrate this, please? 12 00:00:38,738 --> 00:00:42,697 You just sling the unit over your shoulder and turn it on... 13 00:00:42,776 --> 00:00:46,610 and move your refrigerator effortlessly. 14 00:00:46,679 --> 00:00:48,579 - Wow! - Hey! 15 00:00:53,019 --> 00:00:55,681 That is very useful. You can see how useful this is, 16 00:00:55,755 --> 00:00:57,882 but it only will raise it about an inch and a quarter. 17 00:00:57,957 --> 00:01:00,016 What happens if you have to move it up a step? 18 00:01:00,093 --> 00:01:04,621 Well, then you would do it the old- fashioned way - by the sweat of your brow. 19 00:01:04,697 --> 00:01:10,294 Let me show you how l'll do it. Heidi, my slightly tweaked furniture mover, please. 20 00:01:13,273 --> 00:01:15,468 - Here you go, Tim. - Thank you, Heidi. 21 00:01:15,542 --> 00:01:17,772 With the few modifications l've made on this, 22 00:01:17,844 --> 00:01:21,940 l'll now be able to lift that thing about a foot and a half. 23 00:01:22,015 --> 00:01:24,279 Help me out here. 24 00:01:24,350 --> 00:01:26,477 All right! Thank you, Heidi. 25 00:01:26,553 --> 00:01:28,748 Just... 26 00:01:28,822 --> 00:01:31,188 ...switch her on. There you go. Lift it... 27 00:01:31,257 --> 00:01:32,815 Oh! 28 00:01:32,892 --> 00:01:34,655 Ohh! 29 00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:38,113 Hey, Brad, guess what l got. The girls' ''best and worst'' list. 30 00:02:38,191 --> 00:02:41,388 - l can't believe you got that. - What is it? 31 00:02:41,461 --> 00:02:44,453 The girls in high school pass around this list of what they like about guys, 32 00:02:44,531 --> 00:02:48,023 like best hair, best eyes, best personality... 33 00:02:48,101 --> 00:02:50,865 And guess who has best butt. 34 00:02:54,073 --> 00:02:55,404 No way. Let me see. 35 00:02:55,475 --> 00:02:57,670 Look all you want. 36 00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:03,108 Not your butt, idiot. The list. 37 00:03:05,652 --> 00:03:07,677 l can't believe l'm not on here. 38 00:03:07,754 --> 00:03:12,691 How could l lose ''best eyebrows'' to Joey Pagoonis? He only has one. 39 00:03:15,461 --> 00:03:17,361 - Hi, guys. - Hi, Mom. 40 00:03:21,968 --> 00:03:23,697 Why are you standing like that? 41 00:03:23,770 --> 00:03:26,534 Just appreciating a work of art. 42 00:03:28,975 --> 00:03:32,376 - Are the kids getting weirder? - They've moved way past weird. 43 00:03:32,445 --> 00:03:35,710 They're into that frightening category now. 44 00:03:35,782 --> 00:03:40,446 Wait until l tell you about what l found out at school today. You know my friend Patty? 45 00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:44,422 That woman you like 'cause she's older than you? 46 00:03:44,490 --> 00:03:46,822 Get a load of this. She's pregnant. 47 00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:50,920 - That's great. - Patty doesn't think so. She's 43 years old. 48 00:03:50,997 --> 00:03:53,727 She's got teenagers. She was thrilled to be back at school, 49 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:55,859 and now everything's gonna change. 50 00:03:55,935 --> 00:04:00,702 Well, maybe Patty and Mr. Patty should have used some precautions. 51 00:04:00,773 --> 00:04:05,369 They were using precautions. The same kind we use. 52 00:04:05,445 --> 00:04:07,675 Oh, no. 53 00:04:09,616 --> 00:04:11,880 l wouldn't want to find myself in that boat. 54 00:04:11,951 --> 00:04:15,546 l wouldn't want to find myself in that harbor. 55 00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:19,088 Tim... 56 00:04:19,158 --> 00:04:23,322 we're pretty much in agreement that our family is complete, right? 57 00:04:23,396 --> 00:04:25,626 No more frightening weirdos. 58 00:04:26,299 --> 00:04:28,665 - Are you sure? - Positive. 59 00:04:28,901 --> 00:04:33,235 Maybe we should think about some more definitive action, something permanent. 60 00:04:33,306 --> 00:04:35,137 Separate bedrooms? 61 00:04:35,208 --> 00:04:36,641 Tim... 62 00:04:36,709 --> 00:04:40,543 That's great. You want a more permanent solution, you have my total support. 63 00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:44,947 Honey, l'm talking about you getting a vasectomy. 64 00:04:46,152 --> 00:04:47,710 You... you... 65 00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:50,187 you've lost my support. 66 00:04:51,424 --> 00:04:53,119 l thought you meant tube-tying. 67 00:04:53,192 --> 00:04:57,424 Well, l am talking about tube-tying, except it's your tubes. 68 00:04:58,498 --> 00:05:01,763 You can back up that clip ship right now. 69 00:05:01,834 --> 00:05:05,270 Honey, it is much safer for a man to get a vasectomy 70 00:05:05,338 --> 00:05:07,863 than it is for a woman to have a tubal ligation. 71 00:05:07,940 --> 00:05:10,966 Says who? The Wives with Knives Club? 72 00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:17,715 Look, if l do this, l have to check into the hospital, 73 00:05:17,784 --> 00:05:20,480 go under general anesthetic and have surgery. 74 00:05:20,553 --> 00:05:25,490 But a man has a vasectomy right there in the doctor's office. lt's much less invasive. 75 00:05:27,460 --> 00:05:31,954 Let me tell you something. Any time you're dealing with the downtown area... 76 00:05:32,031 --> 00:05:35,159 it's pretty darn invasive. 77 00:05:35,234 --> 00:05:38,795 My gynecologist gave me the name of a very good urologist. 78 00:05:38,871 --> 00:05:41,601 Can we just go talk to this Dr. Kaplan? 79 00:05:41,674 --> 00:05:45,872 Why are we slamming the door on having more kids, anyway? 80 00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:52,180 A minute ago you weren't crazy about the ones we have. You called them frightening. 81 00:05:52,251 --> 00:05:56,051 l said it in a very positive light. l love those little guys. 82 00:05:56,122 --> 00:06:00,650 Hey, kids, get down here! Daddy wants to tell you how much he loves you! 83 00:06:04,097 --> 00:06:06,327 - Hey, guys. - Hey, Marty. 84 00:06:06,399 --> 00:06:08,731 - Hey, Benny. - Hey, Marty. 85 00:06:09,969 --> 00:06:11,732 Nice sweater. 86 00:06:12,638 --> 00:06:14,970 Wow. That reminds me of something - 87 00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:19,535 when one of the kids spit up after eating a whole box of crayons. 88 00:06:19,612 --> 00:06:22,172 That's very funny. Yeah. 89 00:06:22,248 --> 00:06:25,012 Jeez. Who dresses you? Your wife? 90 00:06:25,818 --> 00:06:29,185 She didn't dress me. She just bought it and... 91 00:06:29,255 --> 00:06:31,450 made me wear it. 92 00:06:31,524 --> 00:06:34,493 You are getting very henpecked, Martin. 93 00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:41,022 Speaking of ''pecked,'' l heard about your little visit with the urologist tomorrow. 94 00:06:41,734 --> 00:06:44,066 Marty, that's not public information, OK? 95 00:06:44,137 --> 00:06:46,332 - What's the matter? Are you sick? - No. 96 00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:47,395 - Huh? - Mm-mm. 97 00:06:47,473 --> 00:06:49,771 lt's your prostate, right? 98 00:06:50,777 --> 00:06:53,803 Mine's as big as a Florida grapefruit. 99 00:06:55,882 --> 00:07:00,080 - No. Jill's making Tim get a vasectomy. - Marty! 100 00:07:00,153 --> 00:07:02,383 - A vasectomy? - Wow. 101 00:07:02,455 --> 00:07:05,754 Oh, my God! Jill's getting you fixed? 102 00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:10,256 l'm not getting a vasectomy. l'm just talking about it. 103 00:07:10,329 --> 00:07:14,789 Yeah, well, all l know is l'd never let Nancy let me get clipped. 104 00:07:14,867 --> 00:07:19,998 You know? l mean, who'd want someone coming at you with a set of these? 105 00:07:20,606 --> 00:07:23,166 That's not what they use! 106 00:07:23,242 --> 00:07:26,609 Then what does the vet use to cut them off? 107 00:07:27,513 --> 00:07:29,913 What? You don't go to a vet - you go to a doctor. 108 00:07:29,982 --> 00:07:33,213 They don't cut anything off. They just tie something off inside. 109 00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:35,311 l would still never get a vasectomy. 110 00:07:35,388 --> 00:07:38,880 Well, why would you need one? 111 00:07:39,592 --> 00:07:45,224 Yeah, well, all l know is once you have that happen, you're... you're a changed man. 112 00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:48,734 You are not. lt doesn't change you at all. 113 00:07:48,801 --> 00:07:50,792 Tell that to my dog. 114 00:07:51,704 --> 00:07:55,697 We had Boomer neutered. He was a changed animal. 115 00:07:55,775 --> 00:08:00,235 All he does now is he just runs around in circles all day and chews on my slippers. 116 00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:01,940 - He always did that. - Yeah. 117 00:08:02,014 --> 00:08:06,417 But now he does it and he's got this real sad look on his face. 118 00:08:08,921 --> 00:08:10,752 l don't want to talk about this. 119 00:08:10,823 --> 00:08:13,417 You'd better talk about it now 'cause after you get it done, 120 00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:17,395 (high-pitched) ...you're gonna be talking like this. 121 00:08:21,367 --> 00:08:23,528 You can be your own tool girl. 122 00:08:28,241 --> 00:08:29,731 That's real funny, guys. 123 00:08:29,809 --> 00:08:32,175 l think you're all being very insensitive. 124 00:08:32,245 --> 00:08:35,772 A vasectomy is a noble way for a man to take responsibility. 125 00:08:35,848 --> 00:08:37,816 Tim is making a very loving choice. 126 00:08:37,884 --> 00:08:40,216 Shut up, Al. 127 00:08:40,286 --> 00:08:45,383 What do you do, Al? Sit on the can all day reading Ladies Home Journal? 128 00:08:46,959 --> 00:08:49,291 Hey, Tim, pass me the potato chips, would ya? 129 00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:52,126 - Do l look like a waiter to you? - Forget the chips. 130 00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:54,223 Got any nuts? 131 00:09:02,675 --> 00:09:04,973 We should go. l don't think the doctor will be here. 132 00:09:05,044 --> 00:09:07,205 Honey, it's only been about 30 seconds. 133 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:10,010 Really? lt seems like a lot longer, doesn't it? 134 00:09:10,082 --> 00:09:13,074 (woman) Harold, get back here! 135 00:09:16,923 --> 00:09:19,221 Another happy customer. 136 00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:24,286 Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Taylor. l'm Dr. Kaplan. l'll be with you in a minute. 137 00:09:25,097 --> 00:09:26,758 (Dr Kaplan) Harold! 138 00:09:26,832 --> 00:09:31,462 - You brought me here to see a woman? - l didn't know she was a woman. 139 00:09:31,537 --> 00:09:35,974 My gynecologist just said that Dr. Kaplan was the best urologist in town. 140 00:09:36,042 --> 00:09:40,411 How am l supposed to talk to a woman about what's going on in manland? 141 00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:43,271 Manland? 142 00:09:44,016 --> 00:09:47,679 Now you got a theme park between your legs? 143 00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:57,457 Honey, you don't have to have the surgery done by a woman. 144 00:09:57,530 --> 00:10:00,727 But as long as we're here, we should listen to what she has to say. 145 00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:03,200 Sorry to keep you waiting. 146 00:10:05,204 --> 00:10:08,696 So, what brings you here today? 147 00:10:08,774 --> 00:10:11,072 We're interested in a vasectomy. 148 00:10:11,143 --> 00:10:14,271 She's more interested than l am. 149 00:10:14,347 --> 00:10:16,008 That's not uncommon. 150 00:10:16,082 --> 00:10:21,042 But let me assure you, this is a very safe procedure. lt's done right here in the office. 151 00:10:24,690 --> 00:10:26,317 What if l change my mind? 152 00:10:26,392 --> 00:10:30,488 ln some cases it can be reversed, but you shouldn't count on that as an option. 153 00:10:30,563 --> 00:10:33,191 l mean change my mind about being here, which l think l have. 154 00:10:33,265 --> 00:10:35,995 Tim, Tim, Tim, wait, wait, wait. Um... 155 00:10:36,068 --> 00:10:39,003 My husband, l think, is just concerned 156 00:10:39,071 --> 00:10:41,938 about how this is gonna affect his performance. 157 00:10:42,008 --> 00:10:43,703 Honey! 158 00:10:43,776 --> 00:10:48,338 Let me handle this. You see, l put on a good show. 159 00:10:49,548 --> 00:10:54,042 l just want to make sure the curtain doesn't come down in the middle of the first act. 160 00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:58,181 This will not in any way affect your sexual function. 161 00:10:58,257 --> 00:11:02,193 - We simply cut off the flow of sperm... - Oh, boy. 162 00:11:02,261 --> 00:11:04,752 ...to prevent it from entering the seminal stream. 163 00:11:04,830 --> 00:11:08,129 So, l'm fishing without bait now. 164 00:11:09,035 --> 00:11:10,024 No bait. 165 00:11:10,102 --> 00:11:14,971 - Tell us what's involved in the procedure. - Yeah, l'm dying to hear this. 166 00:11:15,041 --> 00:11:18,204 The morning of your appointment, you'll have to shave in the area 167 00:11:18,277 --> 00:11:20,336 where l'll be making the incisions. 168 00:11:20,413 --> 00:11:22,438 Shave? 169 00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:24,312 Here? 170 00:11:24,383 --> 00:11:28,820 - lt's just a routine procedure. - Not in my house it's not. 171 00:11:29,889 --> 00:11:35,156 What do you think? l wake up, brush my teeth and shave ping and pong? 172 00:11:39,298 --> 00:11:43,758 Well, you could go to a barber, but it might be a little awkward. 173 00:11:45,004 --> 00:11:49,668 The first thing l do is give you a shot that's a local. 174 00:11:49,742 --> 00:11:51,903 Local, like here in Detroit? 175 00:11:53,079 --> 00:11:57,106 - No. Local like here in your scrotum. - Oh, boy. 176 00:11:57,717 --> 00:12:01,380 - That does sting for a few seconds. - You think? 177 00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:11,053 Then l make two small cuts, and simply divide and tie up the tubes. 178 00:12:11,130 --> 00:12:12,893 The discomfort is very minimal. 179 00:12:12,965 --> 00:12:15,763 Why don't you tell that to the boys in the basement? 180 00:12:15,835 --> 00:12:17,530 You'll be back to normal in a few days. 181 00:12:17,603 --> 00:12:20,470 The only restriction is you can't drive home that day. 182 00:12:20,539 --> 00:12:22,564 What? l can't drive? 183 00:12:22,641 --> 00:12:24,632 Forget about it. 184 00:12:25,377 --> 00:12:27,174 What do you mean, ''Forget about it''? 185 00:12:27,246 --> 00:12:31,546 Honey, honestly, l was really into it up to that point. The driving thing iced it. 186 00:12:31,617 --> 00:12:33,608 lt's just one day! 187 00:12:33,686 --> 00:12:36,120 lt's bad enough to separate a man from his sperm. 188 00:12:36,188 --> 00:12:39,646 But separate a man from his car? That's inhuman. 189 00:12:39,725 --> 00:12:41,716 Harold, wait up. 190 00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:10,180 Aren't you getting tired of looking at your butt? 191 00:13:10,256 --> 00:13:13,225 Surprisingly, no. 192 00:13:13,292 --> 00:13:16,489 Let me tell you something no one's ever gonna tell you in life. 193 00:13:16,562 --> 00:13:18,223 Looks matter and... 194 00:13:18,297 --> 00:13:20,288 l got 'em. 195 00:13:22,234 --> 00:13:24,862 Just too bad you're sitting on 'em. 196 00:13:27,273 --> 00:13:28,706 - Hi, Brad. - Hey. 197 00:13:28,774 --> 00:13:31,800 Seriously, aren't my eyebrows better than Joey's? 198 00:13:31,877 --> 00:13:34,277 Yeah. l told you l voted for you. 199 00:13:34,346 --> 00:13:38,544 l can't believe l lost to a guy with a caterpillar over his eyes. 200 00:13:38,617 --> 00:13:40,847 - Hey, Brad, Angela. - Hey, Randy. How are you? 201 00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:44,686 Great. You happen to see the latest list? You know, l made ''best butt.'' 202 00:13:44,757 --> 00:13:49,387 l heard. Allison Lewis was having a fight with her boyfriend, who has the cutest butt, 203 00:13:49,461 --> 00:13:53,022 because he was talking to Tiffany Fink, so she made up this list 204 00:13:53,098 --> 00:13:58,730 and instead of putting his butt on it, she picked out the scrawniest butt - yours. 205 00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:03,202 - Maybe l shouldn't have told you that. - You think? 206 00:14:03,275 --> 00:14:05,038 Sorry. 207 00:14:06,979 --> 00:14:09,277 l'm so embarrassed. Why didn't you tell me he didn't know? 208 00:14:09,348 --> 00:14:11,373 - Because... - l wouldn't have said anything, 209 00:14:11,450 --> 00:14:14,681 because l'm usually careful about what comes out of my mouth. 210 00:14:16,889 --> 00:14:20,086 Tim, didn't you hear one word that doctor said? 211 00:14:20,159 --> 00:14:21,387 Yeah, yeah! 212 00:14:21,460 --> 00:14:25,089 She wants to take the zip-a-dee out of my doo-dah. 213 00:14:26,332 --> 00:14:30,063 Look, l know how hard it was for you to even talk to that doctor. 214 00:14:30,135 --> 00:14:35,004 But l had hoped that once we left, we could have a rational discussion about it. 215 00:14:35,074 --> 00:14:36,769 We did in the car on the way home. 216 00:14:36,842 --> 00:14:41,074 All you did all the way home was come up with one ridiculous excuse after another. 217 00:14:41,146 --> 00:14:43,706 Not true. l merely said that, for this sort of thing, 218 00:14:43,782 --> 00:14:47,183 it might be better to wait for warmer weather. 219 00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:51,221 l'll knit you a little sweater. 220 00:14:56,095 --> 00:15:00,623 You heard her. Shots, shaving? You don't understand about the pain down there. 221 00:15:00,699 --> 00:15:04,260 - Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait a minute! - (turns o TV) 222 00:15:04,336 --> 00:15:07,430 l don't understand about the pain down there? 223 00:15:07,506 --> 00:15:12,273 l, who had three children ripped from my loins... 224 00:15:12,344 --> 00:15:16,280 in what is laughingly described as ''natural'' childbirth? 225 00:15:16,348 --> 00:15:18,339 Oh, boy. Here we go. 226 00:15:19,118 --> 00:15:23,782 The pain of childbirth. lsn't there a statute of limitations on this? 227 00:15:23,856 --> 00:15:27,257 lsn't there a statute of limitations on you being a bonehead? 228 00:15:27,326 --> 00:15:29,556 You are unwilling to accept responsibility 229 00:15:29,628 --> 00:15:33,621 for what l have accepted total responsibility for since we met! 230 00:15:33,699 --> 00:15:35,929 This is not about accepting responsibility. 231 00:15:36,001 --> 00:15:39,801 This is about me being neutered and chewing on my slippers. 232 00:15:41,106 --> 00:15:43,404 Who said anything about you being neutered? 233 00:15:43,475 --> 00:15:46,000 - Certain experts l talked to. - Harry and Benny? 234 00:15:46,078 --> 00:15:49,104 Where did they get their degrees? University of l'm An ldiot? 235 00:15:49,181 --> 00:15:51,649 Well, they may be idiots, 236 00:15:51,717 --> 00:15:54,083 but they think exactly like l do. 237 00:15:57,523 --> 00:16:01,220 - Oh, is that you, neighbor? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 238 00:16:01,293 --> 00:16:04,262 Hi, Wilson. What are you doing? 239 00:16:04,330 --> 00:16:06,958 l'm gathering some twigs for my terrarium. 240 00:16:07,032 --> 00:16:10,001 lt's mating time for my new spiders. 241 00:16:11,203 --> 00:16:12,830 lt's a little-known fact, 242 00:16:12,905 --> 00:16:18,605 but the male spider's sex organ is located at the end of one of its legs. 243 00:16:18,677 --> 00:16:21,669 Better keep that spider away from Jill. 244 00:16:21,747 --> 00:16:24,409 He won't have a leg to stand on. 245 00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:30,880 l'm not sure l follow. 246 00:16:30,956 --> 00:16:34,483 She wants, um... she wants me to have a vasectomy. 247 00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:36,653 Ah, l follow. 248 00:16:36,729 --> 00:16:39,163 l know a lot of guys get them. l'm not one of those guys. 249 00:16:39,231 --> 00:16:42,200 l don't want anybody messing... you know... with the, you know. 250 00:16:42,267 --> 00:16:44,030 (laughs) 251 00:16:44,103 --> 00:16:48,437 Well, Tim, it's perfectly natural for a man to be proud of his virility. 252 00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:51,635 lt gives him a sense of power to be able to pass down his genes. 253 00:16:51,710 --> 00:16:55,009 Yeah. l like power in my genes. Oh-oh-oh. 254 00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:56,547 (chuckles) 255 00:16:56,615 --> 00:17:01,245 ln fact, in many cultures, a man is measured by his ability to procreate. 256 00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:07,589 ln the Zulu tribe of KwaZulu-Natal, the more children a man has, the higher his status. 257 00:17:07,659 --> 00:17:10,787 l don't want to have more children. l just like knowing that l can. 258 00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:12,194 Hm. 259 00:17:12,264 --> 00:17:16,360 When Jill first told me she was pregnant, l never felt more like a man. 260 00:17:16,435 --> 00:17:19,802 Well, that's perfectly understandable. 261 00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:22,363 l knew a guy would understand. 262 00:17:22,441 --> 00:17:26,070 l also understand there are lots of other things that make you a man. 263 00:17:26,145 --> 00:17:27,271 Such as? 264 00:17:27,346 --> 00:17:31,544 Well, the way you live your life, take care of your kids... 265 00:17:31,617 --> 00:17:33,847 your commitment to Jill. 266 00:17:34,953 --> 00:17:37,251 So l should get a vasectomy? 267 00:17:37,322 --> 00:17:40,018 Oh, Tim, l can't tell you what to do. 268 00:17:40,092 --> 00:17:43,789 l do know if l had a vasectomy, l would not feel like any less of a man. 269 00:17:43,862 --> 00:17:46,660 Well, if you had one, neither would l. 270 00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:50,263 Hey, Tim. 271 00:17:50,335 --> 00:17:53,668 What are you doing here? Did you guys come up with another vasectomy joke? 272 00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:56,708 Uh, actually we came up with 1 2. 273 00:17:57,476 --> 00:18:00,240 But that's not why l'm here. l, uh... (clears throat) 274 00:18:00,312 --> 00:18:04,373 l came by to apologize for the other day. We were a little rough on you. 275 00:18:04,450 --> 00:18:06,042 Hey, no kidding. 276 00:18:06,118 --> 00:18:08,712 - Harry, l can take a joke, OK? - Yeah. 277 00:18:08,787 --> 00:18:11,517 You know, Tim, lots of guys have had vasectomies, 278 00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:13,956 and they're just as manly as they ever were. 279 00:18:14,026 --> 00:18:16,551 Oh, yeah? You name one. 280 00:18:18,964 --> 00:18:20,522 - Me. - Wha...? 281 00:18:20,599 --> 00:18:21,930 Yeah. 282 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:24,264 l had one five years ago. 283 00:18:26,338 --> 00:18:29,933 Really? At least we know it doesn't make your voice get any higher. 284 00:18:30,008 --> 00:18:32,442 Actually, it did. 285 00:18:33,846 --> 00:18:37,373 lf you got a vasectomy, why didn't you say something the other day? 286 00:18:37,449 --> 00:18:41,510 Oh, in front of those jerks? Look how they went after you. 287 00:18:41,587 --> 00:18:43,782 l can't believe you had a vasectomy. 288 00:18:43,856 --> 00:18:48,293 Delores wanted to have her tubes tied, and she was really scared about the operation. 289 00:18:48,360 --> 00:18:51,386 You know, she's been through childbirth four times, and... 290 00:18:51,463 --> 00:18:55,524 l've been to Nam. l've been shot, stabbed, kicked, bit, mortared, bombed. 291 00:18:55,601 --> 00:18:58,229 l figured, hey, what's a snip or two? 292 00:19:00,005 --> 00:19:02,496 You know, this is amazing. Really amazing. 293 00:19:02,574 --> 00:19:07,705 You know a guy all your life and you don't know what's going on under his pants. 294 00:19:11,917 --> 00:19:14,977 You know, just between you and me, there's nothing to it. 295 00:19:15,053 --> 00:19:18,682 You feel the same as you did before. The only difference is your sex life. 296 00:19:18,757 --> 00:19:22,591 - What happens to it? - Any time, any place. 297 00:19:22,661 --> 00:19:24,959 (Tim laughs) 298 00:19:25,030 --> 00:19:26,725 Any time, any place. 299 00:19:26,798 --> 00:19:29,790 - You got it. - So this helped your relationship? 300 00:19:29,868 --> 00:19:34,965 Well, nothing could help our relationship. But our sex life is a lot better. 301 00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:37,440 This morning l was getting ready to go to work, 302 00:19:37,509 --> 00:19:41,036 and Delores came in with curlers in her hair, and nothing else... 303 00:19:41,113 --> 00:19:43,377 Harry, you've helped enough. 304 00:19:46,785 --> 00:19:49,310 l'd love to stay, but l promised my mom l'd be home by 5:30. 305 00:19:49,388 --> 00:19:53,017 and if l'm late, she'll lecture me and she goes on and on and on. 306 00:19:53,091 --> 00:19:57,152 You can't get a word in edgewise. l don't know if you know any people like that. 307 00:19:57,229 --> 00:19:59,220 - Just one. - See ya. 308 00:19:59,298 --> 00:20:00,458 - Bye. - Hi. 309 00:20:00,532 --> 00:20:02,397 - Bye. - Bye. 310 00:20:04,236 --> 00:20:05,225 (snis) Whoo! 311 00:20:05,304 --> 00:20:07,670 - Smells good. What are we eating? - Takeout. 312 00:20:07,739 --> 00:20:09,730 Ah, my favorite. 313 00:20:10,576 --> 00:20:13,602 - l think l'm ready to talk. - About? 314 00:20:13,679 --> 00:20:16,648 About what you want to talk about that l didn't want to talk about. 315 00:20:16,715 --> 00:20:19,047 - The vasectomy? - Yup. 316 00:20:19,818 --> 00:20:25,256 l think the trouble l'm having is that even though l don't want any more children, 317 00:20:25,324 --> 00:20:29,055 the thought that l can't would kind of make me feel like... 318 00:20:29,127 --> 00:20:30,321 Less of a man. 319 00:20:30,395 --> 00:20:32,363 That would be it. 320 00:20:33,498 --> 00:20:37,594 Tim, if l had my tubes tied, would you see me as less of a woman? 321 00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:40,705 - No. - Why should it be any different for you? 322 00:20:40,772 --> 00:20:43,866 And why would it be any different for me? 323 00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:49,176 lf you did this, not only would you be protecting me from surgery, 324 00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:54,515 but you'd be making a real commitment to me and our relationship. 325 00:20:54,586 --> 00:20:57,054 ln my eyes, that makes you more of a man. 326 00:20:57,122 --> 00:21:00,285 (grunting) l want to be more of a man. Yeah. 327 00:21:02,294 --> 00:21:04,956 - What do you think? - l think l have more questions. 328 00:21:05,030 --> 00:21:07,430 OK. Such as what? 329 00:21:07,499 --> 00:21:11,765 Do they make a home kit so l can do it right here in the garage? 330 00:21:11,837 --> 00:21:14,772 l don't think so. 331 00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:19,402 - Could this be your birthday present? - Absolutely, yeah. 332 00:21:19,478 --> 00:21:23,608 For once, l wouldn't have to stand in line and return it. 333 00:21:23,682 --> 00:21:25,980 And while l'm preparing for this, 334 00:21:26,051 --> 00:21:30,249 will you go out and find me a very, very mild aftershave? 335 00:21:30,922 --> 00:21:35,518 - Yeah, l'll work on that. Yeah. - Gotta be careful about slapping it on, too. 336 00:21:44,770 --> 00:21:47,568 - We're going to the park. - We'll be back in a bit. 337 00:21:47,639 --> 00:21:50,267 - OK, dinner's at six. - All right. We'll be here. 338 00:21:50,342 --> 00:21:51,502 All right. 339 00:21:57,182 --> 00:21:59,173 (gasps) 340 00:21:59,718 --> 00:22:01,811 Honey... 341 00:22:01,887 --> 00:22:05,687 l don't know if this vasectomy was such a good idea. 342 00:22:06,425 --> 00:22:09,826 Sure it was. Anywhere, any time. 343 00:22:10,929 --> 00:22:14,330 - Kitchen counter? - No, no, no. 344 00:22:14,399 --> 00:22:16,390 The attic. 345 00:22:18,036 --> 00:22:20,630 No. That was too dusty. 346 00:22:20,706 --> 00:22:24,733 Maybe we should try someplace we haven't been in a while. 347 00:22:24,810 --> 00:22:26,801 - The bedroom! - Bedroom! 348 00:22:30,215 --> 00:22:31,375 Um... 349 00:22:31,450 --> 00:22:37,355 While l'm preparing for this, will you go out and find me a very mild aftershave? 350 00:22:37,422 --> 00:22:39,413 l'd work on it, yes. 351 00:22:45,263 --> 00:22:48,994 Remind me not to use toilet paper if l nick myself.