1 00:00:05,672 --> 00:00:07,367 - Hi! - Hi there. 2 00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:10,967 Did you get my spaghetti made? l have to make it to that potluck... 3 00:00:11,044 --> 00:00:13,103 Oh, my God! What is that? 4 00:00:13,179 --> 00:00:18,549 That is the Binford 61 00 Commercial Vacu-Hood. 5 00:00:18,618 --> 00:00:22,349 The residential version only has a one-horsepower blower motor. 6 00:00:22,422 --> 00:00:25,391 This bad boy has ten horsepower. What do you think? 7 00:00:25,458 --> 00:00:26,823 - lmpressive. - Thanks. 8 00:00:26,893 --> 00:00:28,656 - Take it down. - (laughs) 9 00:00:28,728 --> 00:00:33,290 - You don't even know what you have here. - l asked you for a simple little exhaust fan. 10 00:00:33,366 --> 00:00:40,329 Well, this simple little exhaust fan will suck 20,000 cubic feet of stinky air a minute. 11 00:00:41,374 --> 00:00:43,433 Take it down. 12 00:00:43,510 --> 00:00:45,239 You want stinky air? 13 00:00:45,311 --> 00:00:49,680 l live with it in the bedroom. l can live with it in the kitchen. 14 00:00:51,251 --> 00:00:53,412 (whirring) 15 00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:05,721 - What was that? - Uh... Just... just testing it out. 16 00:01:05,799 --> 00:01:09,235 Where's my spaghetti? l have to take it to Ypsilanti! 17 00:01:09,302 --> 00:01:11,668 lt's probably already there. 18 00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:13,968 Oh, man! 19 00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:10,426 Hey. You know my parents don't like you coming here when l'm studying. 20 00:02:10,497 --> 00:02:15,127 Just thought you'd like to know - big party at Lisa Beldon's on Saturday night. 21 00:02:15,201 --> 00:02:18,170 l can't go. l have to study for history finals all weekend. 22 00:02:18,238 --> 00:02:22,868 Not necessarily. You're talking to someone that can get you a preview copy of that test. 23 00:02:22,942 --> 00:02:25,376 - Really? - lt's my final exam clearance sale. 24 00:02:25,445 --> 00:02:29,074 Everything must go. The deals are insane. 25 00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:32,676 - What if my parents find out? - The parents never find out. 26 00:02:32,752 --> 00:02:36,210 l deliver late at night and slip it under the door. 27 00:02:36,289 --> 00:02:37,654 Hey, Brad. 28 00:02:37,724 --> 00:02:43,060 Some of that spaghetti got all the way across the street into Doc Johnson's Buick. 29 00:02:43,129 --> 00:02:45,597 - Hi, Mr. Taylor. - Hello, Jason. 30 00:02:45,665 --> 00:02:48,099 Brad, we talked about Jason coming over. 31 00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:51,626 l didn't come to see Brad. Came to see you! 32 00:02:53,273 --> 00:02:54,763 - ls that a fact, Jason? - Yeah. 33 00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:59,073 l just wanted to ask your advice on power tools. l'm thinking of buying my first one. 34 00:02:59,145 --> 00:03:00,737 Really? What kind? 35 00:03:00,813 --> 00:03:04,977 - A seven-and-a-quarter-inch circular saw. - Really? 36 00:03:05,685 --> 00:03:08,153 Yeah. Something with a combination blade. 37 00:03:08,221 --> 00:03:11,088 All right! That's good for crosscutting and rip-cutting. 38 00:03:11,157 --> 00:03:14,957 But you want to get yourself a fine-tooth finish blade for precise cuts. 39 00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:18,122 - Stainless steel? - l'd go with the carbide tip. 40 00:03:19,065 --> 00:03:21,056 Thank you. 41 00:03:22,168 --> 00:03:27,162 Well, l gotta get home and watch today's Tool Time l tape 'em all. 42 00:03:28,408 --> 00:03:31,707 Don't be such a stranger around here, Jason. 43 00:03:31,778 --> 00:03:35,373 Boy, oh, boy. l love that kid. 44 00:03:36,749 --> 00:03:39,479 - There's a policeman in Wilson's yard. - l see. 45 00:03:39,552 --> 00:03:42,419 l hope everything's all right. Stay here, please. 46 00:03:42,488 --> 00:03:45,116 (dispatch voice) 47 00:03:45,258 --> 00:03:46,555 Oh. 48 00:03:47,527 --> 00:03:49,791 (whistles) 49 00:03:51,331 --> 00:03:55,165 - Wilson, what happened? - Well, Tim, l'm afraid l had a break-in. 50 00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:57,066 - Are you all right? - l'm shook up. 51 00:03:57,136 --> 00:04:00,071 Luckily l wasn't here when it happened. This is Officer Guidry. 52 00:04:00,139 --> 00:04:02,437 Officer, this is my neighbor, Tim Taylor. 53 00:04:02,508 --> 00:04:05,500 - How are you doing? - Oh, yeah. l've seen your show. 54 00:04:05,578 --> 00:04:09,480 - lt's always nice to meet a fan. - Who said l was a fan? 55 00:04:10,350 --> 00:04:15,219 Boy! l cannot believe this happened. They took some of my most valued possessions. 56 00:04:15,288 --> 00:04:19,384 - What'd they get? A TV? Stereo? - No, no, no. Much worse than that. 57 00:04:19,459 --> 00:04:23,520 Number one, they took my cheek extender from Fiji. 58 00:04:23,596 --> 00:04:26,827 Number two, they took my stuffed cow's hoof. 59 00:04:26,899 --> 00:04:29,459 But the thing that really makes me feel violated is 60 00:04:29,535 --> 00:04:32,163 they took my African mucous cup. 61 00:04:35,008 --> 00:04:37,636 They always take the good stuff. 62 00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:43,048 How am l gonna write this up? l mean, what's an African mucous cup worth? 63 00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:48,452 Well, not much here in Detroit. But in Africa you can get six goats and a virgin. 64 00:04:53,092 --> 00:04:55,560 - Hey, Marty. Hey, Harry. - Hey, Tim. 65 00:04:55,628 --> 00:04:57,118 - Benny. - Hey, Tim. 66 00:04:57,196 --> 00:05:01,098 Just how l love my coffee - poured by somebody else. Thank you, Ben. 67 00:05:01,167 --> 00:05:03,067 - Hi, Tim. - Hey, Al. 68 00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:07,232 Hey, guys. Hear the news? Wilson was robbed today. 69 00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:08,672 - Really? - Oh, no! 70 00:05:08,741 --> 00:05:11,938 - ls he all right? - Well, you know, physically, yeah. 71 00:05:12,011 --> 00:05:15,071 l hope they didn't get his mucous cup. 72 00:05:17,684 --> 00:05:20,278 What the hell is a mucous cup? 73 00:05:20,353 --> 00:05:26,451 lt's an earthenware goblet from Africa that's used as a spittoon for excess phlegm. 74 00:05:27,226 --> 00:05:30,457 You sure seem to know a lot about a mucous cup. 75 00:05:30,530 --> 00:05:33,397 Were you on the crime scene eleven or so this morning? 76 00:05:33,466 --> 00:05:34,558 Yeah, Al. 77 00:05:34,634 --> 00:05:40,038 Everybody knows you always dreamed of owning a complete set of mucous-ware. 78 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:44,640 No matter how much l covet a mucous cup, l would never steal one. 79 00:05:44,711 --> 00:05:48,203 Hey, Tim. Didn't Wilson have a security system or something? 80 00:05:48,281 --> 00:05:49,270 l don't think so. 81 00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:54,377 l have the best security system in the world - l own nothing of value. 82 00:05:54,454 --> 00:05:58,015 Hey, l got an even better one. My wife Delores. 83 00:05:58,091 --> 00:06:03,324 Burglar takes a look at her with no makeup, he's scared straight. 84 00:06:03,396 --> 00:06:07,355 - You know, l don't have a security system. - (Marty) Huh. 85 00:06:07,433 --> 00:06:12,302 Hey! Maybe it's time the Tool Man had his own security system. 86 00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:15,432 Oh, boy! l've been waiting for this day a long time. 87 00:06:15,508 --> 00:06:17,373 All right, all right, all right. 88 00:06:17,443 --> 00:06:20,469 - Tim buying an alarm system? Ka-ching. - Yeah. 89 00:06:20,546 --> 00:06:24,539 This is gonna be good. The Tim Taylor High-Security Compound. 90 00:06:24,617 --> 00:06:28,678 lt's gonna be the only home with first-strike capability. 91 00:06:28,755 --> 00:06:29,744 What do you got? 92 00:06:29,822 --> 00:06:33,758 A surveillance camera with ultrasensitive microphones. 93 00:06:33,826 --> 00:06:35,453 - Let me have a dozen. - All right. 94 00:06:35,528 --> 00:06:37,553 You need a master pad to tie that system together. 95 00:06:37,630 --> 00:06:40,428 - Get that. - And get those infrared motion sensors. 96 00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:43,560 - They're over here. - 1 44 of those. A gross, make it. 97 00:06:43,636 --> 00:06:45,968 - Don't forget the siren. - Get me a couple sirens. 98 00:06:46,038 --> 00:06:50,134 Lights. l'll pull the big truck around front. We'll load up. Where are the keys? 99 00:06:50,209 --> 00:06:54,441 This will be the biggest thing you've done, bigger than the hood vent in the kitchen. 100 00:06:54,514 --> 00:06:56,106 Oh, way bigger! Whoa, whoa. 101 00:06:56,182 --> 00:06:58,377 Why did you bring that up? 102 00:06:58,451 --> 00:07:01,716 - Wait a minute. What's wrong? - Jill made me take that thing out. 103 00:07:01,788 --> 00:07:05,417 And l promised her l wouldn't go overboard in any other installations. 104 00:07:05,491 --> 00:07:07,959 What are you saying, Tim? 105 00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:15,090 l'm saying it's probably a better idea to just go with a basic unit. 106 00:07:18,037 --> 00:07:20,631 Yeah. The chances of that happening! 107 00:07:20,706 --> 00:07:25,268 Guys, l'm serious. l'm serious. l think it's time the Tool Man just scaled back a bit. 108 00:07:25,344 --> 00:07:29,576 Yeah, right. That would be like Babe Ruth bunting. 109 00:07:29,649 --> 00:07:32,209 Raquel Welch wearing a parka. 110 00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:34,651 Benny picking up a check. 111 00:07:35,755 --> 00:07:40,385 lt would be like my mother going to a buffet and only having a salad. 112 00:07:42,762 --> 00:07:44,753 Did l say that? 113 00:07:47,366 --> 00:07:48,355 - Hi. - Aah! 114 00:07:48,434 --> 00:07:49,992 Aah! 115 00:07:51,704 --> 00:07:53,433 - Why were we yelling? - l'm sorry. 116 00:07:53,506 --> 00:07:55,974 l'm just a little jumpy. Wilson got robbed. 117 00:07:56,042 --> 00:07:58,772 That's why l bought an alarm for the house. 118 00:07:58,845 --> 00:08:01,405 - You did? - Yes. But you'd be proud of me. 119 00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:05,315 l got a base-down, stripped unit. Bottom-of-the-line, very simple. 120 00:08:05,384 --> 00:08:10,321 - Bottom-of-the-line? - Bottom-of-the-line. Almost an empty box. 121 00:08:10,389 --> 00:08:12,857 - What are you, crazy? - What? 122 00:08:12,925 --> 00:08:15,860 Do you care nothing about your family? 123 00:08:19,198 --> 00:08:22,133 - What? - Well, the kids are alone all the time now. 124 00:08:22,201 --> 00:08:25,932 Mark is terrified. You come home with this toy? 125 00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:30,669 (stammering) 126 00:08:32,812 --> 00:08:33,801 (stammers) 127 00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:36,678 - Do you want something bigger? - Yes! Yes! 128 00:08:36,749 --> 00:08:40,515 - l want something much, much bigger! - Well, uh... 129 00:08:42,321 --> 00:08:45,222 Am l in the right house? 130 00:08:45,291 --> 00:08:48,658 Look, if this can happen to Wilson, it can happen to us! 131 00:08:48,728 --> 00:08:51,595 l want floodlights, surveillance cameras, uh, uh, uh... 132 00:08:51,664 --> 00:08:55,225 panic buttons, uh, uh, the works, everything! 133 00:08:55,301 --> 00:09:00,534 You know, l am getting very excited. l hope this isn't just a big tease. 134 00:09:05,177 --> 00:09:07,509 l am not teasing you. 135 00:09:07,580 --> 00:09:09,639 l am turning you loose 136 00:09:09,715 --> 00:09:15,244 to buy the biggest, most powerful security system that money can buy. 137 00:09:15,321 --> 00:09:16,982 Ohh... 138 00:09:22,461 --> 00:09:27,194 l will even allow you to do a Tool Time remote in the house. 139 00:09:31,037 --> 00:09:36,100 l have never loved you as much as l do at this moment. 140 00:09:37,977 --> 00:09:39,672 Be back in a while. 141 00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:48,277 lf l was to buy the answers to the test, how much would it cost? 142 00:09:48,354 --> 00:09:51,050 For you? 30 bucks. 143 00:09:52,058 --> 00:09:55,255 30 bucks? l'm sorry. All l have is 20. 144 00:09:55,328 --> 00:09:58,058 Did l say thir...? l meant 20. 145 00:10:00,099 --> 00:10:02,863 - All right. l guess that's a deal. - Now, remember... 146 00:10:02,935 --> 00:10:05,426 Under the door around midnight. 147 00:10:05,504 --> 00:10:06,937 Everybody this way. 148 00:10:07,006 --> 00:10:11,136 Why don't you bring it on down in the family room? Over there by the fireplace. 149 00:10:11,210 --> 00:10:14,543 - Come on in. Let's go. Keep it moving. - OK. 150 00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:16,639 That's good. 151 00:10:18,684 --> 00:10:21,778 All right. Hey, Jase. How's that new saw? 152 00:10:21,854 --> 00:10:24,550 Saw? Oh, just fine. Very... 153 00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:26,251 sharp. 154 00:10:27,593 --> 00:10:30,721 You guys have to get out of the room. We're doing a Tool Time here. 155 00:10:30,796 --> 00:10:34,960 Wow. You're doing an actual Tool Time right here in the house? 156 00:10:35,034 --> 00:10:37,400 - l bet you'd like to watch. - l wish l could. 157 00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:43,102 But finals are starting Monday. And that's always a very hectic time for me. 158 00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:47,275 Keep your nose to the grindstone. 159 00:10:47,346 --> 00:10:52,909 l will. And if l ever buy a grindstone, l assure you it'll be a Binford. 160 00:10:59,358 --> 00:11:01,690 Does everybody know what time it is? 161 00:11:01,761 --> 00:11:03,854 Tool Time! 162 00:11:05,731 --> 00:11:09,827 That's right. Welcome to a very special Tool Time live from the home of our star, 163 00:11:09,902 --> 00:11:12,063 Tim ''The Tool Man'' Taylor! Whoo-hoo! 164 00:11:12,138 --> 00:11:14,129 (# ''Tool Time'' theme) 165 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:17,308 Thank you, Heidi. Welcome to Tool Time 166 00:11:17,376 --> 00:11:21,472 l am Tim ''The Tool Man'' Taylor. And you all know my assistant, Al Borland. 167 00:11:21,547 --> 00:11:27,042 We're gonna show you how to install a high-tech, super-charged security system. 168 00:11:27,119 --> 00:11:29,553 That's right. The first thing is to determine 169 00:11:29,622 --> 00:11:33,649 what areas of your home are most vulnerable to a break-in. 170 00:11:33,726 --> 00:11:38,288 But since the only thing Al can break into is a sweat... 171 00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:41,299 we've invited a reformed burglar to help us out. 172 00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:46,669 l'd like to welcome on the show, Sammy ''the Snake'' Nash. 173 00:11:46,739 --> 00:11:48,366 - Welcome, Sammy. - Thanks. 174 00:11:48,441 --> 00:11:53,970 lt's a pleasure to be in your home. You have some beautiful things in here. 175 00:11:55,147 --> 00:11:59,049 - And l'd like to keep them in here. - l'm not into that anymore. 176 00:11:59,118 --> 00:12:03,487 Good. Because l understand your parole officer watches the show every night. 177 00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:06,923 All right. Well, Sammy, where would you like to begin? 178 00:12:06,992 --> 00:12:09,790 With the obvious, Al. The front door. 179 00:12:09,862 --> 00:12:13,696 l'll step outside. You lock it up. And we'll see just how secure it is. 180 00:12:13,766 --> 00:12:17,099 OK. Great. Good. Great. Fine. 181 00:12:17,803 --> 00:12:21,170 l think the old Samster's in for a little surprise. 182 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:24,801 That's a solid oak door. l installed a rim-proof, jimmy-proof lock, 183 00:12:24,877 --> 00:12:27,846 which l call pretty much impenetrable. 184 00:12:29,615 --> 00:12:33,278 Pretty much. Unless you're foolish enough not to use the deadbolt. 185 00:12:33,352 --> 00:12:35,684 Then someone could open it with a credit card. 186 00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:38,383 Well, good way to wreck your credit card. 187 00:12:38,457 --> 00:12:40,721 Actually, l wrecked yours. 188 00:12:41,994 --> 00:12:44,189 All right. Hmm... 189 00:12:44,263 --> 00:12:49,496 Let's step out into the backyard and see if there are any vulnerable places out there. 190 00:13:29,041 --> 00:13:31,635 (alarm sounds) 191 00:13:34,780 --> 00:13:38,409 You've watched us install one of the most advanced security systems. 192 00:13:38,484 --> 00:13:42,420 Next, pick a secret password and provide that to your security company. 193 00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:46,185 Pick a word that's easy to remember, perhaps has a special meaning for you, 194 00:13:46,258 --> 00:13:48,226 like the name of a pet or a loved one. 195 00:13:48,294 --> 00:13:51,525 For instance, l picked ''saber saw.'' 196 00:13:54,800 --> 00:14:00,705 Perhaps now you'd like to choose a word that our viewing audience hasn't heard. 197 00:14:04,076 --> 00:14:06,374 Perhaps. 198 00:14:06,445 --> 00:14:12,543 And for all you criminals out there, it might not be another tool. lt might be a car. 199 00:14:14,253 --> 00:14:16,847 - See you next time on Tool Time - Bye now. 200 00:14:16,922 --> 00:14:18,913 (# ''Tool Time'' theme) 201 00:14:19,725 --> 00:14:22,819 OK, let's move it out. Take that belt. You guys move it. 202 00:14:22,895 --> 00:14:25,591 Get it back to the studio so we can get it wrapped up. 203 00:14:25,664 --> 00:14:28,428 - See you in the morning. - All right, buddy. Thanks. 204 00:14:28,500 --> 00:14:31,060 - We're all set. - Great. Show me how it works. 205 00:14:31,136 --> 00:14:32,933 Now, this is the downstairs panel. 206 00:14:33,005 --> 00:14:36,964 You can operate the entire system from this panel alone on simple 21 buttons. 207 00:14:37,042 --> 00:14:40,102 - 21 buttons. - That's right. 21 buttons, 1 8 zones. 208 00:14:40,179 --> 00:14:42,647 21 buttons, 1 8 zones. 209 00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:44,342 That's right. lt's very simple. 210 00:14:44,416 --> 00:14:51,117 lf you want to leave the house and set the system in gear, you press ''arm-command'' 211 00:14:51,190 --> 00:14:55,217 ''36824-star-7.'' 212 00:14:55,294 --> 00:14:57,057 OK? 213 00:14:57,129 --> 00:14:59,689 All right now, if you're in the house during the day 214 00:14:59,765 --> 00:15:02,893 and you do not want the motion sensors on, which is a great idea - 215 00:15:02,968 --> 00:15:10,773 ''arm-command-A3423423.'' 216 00:15:10,843 --> 00:15:14,438 Simple, yeah? ''Star-bypass-pound-6.'' 217 00:15:14,513 --> 00:15:16,538 (beeps) 218 00:15:17,416 --> 00:15:19,043 Are you with me so far? 219 00:15:19,118 --> 00:15:24,681 l lost you after you said, ''This is the downstairs panel.'' 220 00:15:25,224 --> 00:15:27,818 Once you use it, you'll find this very easy to use. 221 00:15:27,893 --> 00:15:31,090 OK. What if the motion sensors are on, 222 00:15:31,163 --> 00:15:33,825 but l want to go downstairs to get something to eat? 223 00:15:33,899 --> 00:15:34,923 Um... 224 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:37,025 Well, you can't. 225 00:15:38,270 --> 00:15:41,831 - l can't? What am l supposed to do? - What are you supposed to do? Oh. 226 00:15:41,907 --> 00:15:44,068 Keep a ham by the bed. 227 00:15:50,716 --> 00:15:58,020 l've almost got this. Before going to sleep at night, l press ''arm-command-5863,'' 228 00:15:58,090 --> 00:16:02,527 ''perimeter-instant-2-star-4.'' 229 00:16:02,594 --> 00:16:03,959 2-star-2! 230 00:16:04,029 --> 00:16:06,429 Oh, OK. ''2-star-2.'' 231 00:16:06,498 --> 00:16:07,487 (beeps) 232 00:16:07,566 --> 00:16:09,864 (Tim coughing) 233 00:16:15,007 --> 00:16:18,238 l think l could use one of those mucous cups. 234 00:16:19,411 --> 00:16:22,380 - l'll never be able to work this. - You'll get it. 235 00:16:22,448 --> 00:16:25,110 There's one last security measure we gotta do before bed. 236 00:16:25,184 --> 00:16:26,515 What? 237 00:16:26,585 --> 00:16:28,610 l'll have to frisk you. 238 00:16:32,091 --> 00:16:33,854 What's the password? 239 00:16:33,926 --> 00:16:36,087 ''Please.'' 240 00:16:58,817 --> 00:17:00,307 (alarm sounds) 241 00:17:00,386 --> 00:17:03,719 (recording) Get away from the house! The police are on their way! 242 00:17:03,789 --> 00:17:06,189 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 243 00:17:08,327 --> 00:17:10,921 - There's someone downstairs! - Uh, uh... 244 00:17:10,996 --> 00:17:16,127 - Stay here. l'll go down there. l'll get him. - Here, wait! Take this. 245 00:17:18,137 --> 00:17:21,538 What am l gonna do - style him to death? 246 00:17:23,142 --> 00:17:25,167 (Tim) Who's down there? 247 00:17:25,944 --> 00:17:28,970 Get away from the house! The police are on their way! 248 00:17:29,314 --> 00:17:32,215 Get away from the house! The police are on their way! 249 00:17:32,551 --> 00:17:35,384 Get away from the house! The police are on their way! 250 00:17:35,454 --> 00:17:38,787 - Dad! - Brad! What are you doing down here? 251 00:17:38,857 --> 00:17:40,882 This thing's going crazy. l can't turn it off. 252 00:17:40,959 --> 00:17:43,450 Honey, it's OK. lt's just Brad. 253 00:17:43,529 --> 00:17:46,259 ''Disarm-command-disarm-8-7-disarm.'' 254 00:17:46,331 --> 00:17:48,595 Look at that! 255 00:17:49,535 --> 00:17:52,163 Boy, that was loud. 256 00:17:52,237 --> 00:17:55,638 Relax. Why are you hugging yourself? 257 00:17:55,707 --> 00:17:58,141 lt... it just feels right. 258 00:17:59,845 --> 00:18:02,336 Everybody go back to bed. The alarm won't go back on. 259 00:18:02,414 --> 00:18:04,348 All right. 260 00:18:04,416 --> 00:18:06,680 Get away from the house! The police are on their way! 261 00:18:06,985 --> 00:18:10,182 Get away from the house! The police are on their way! 262 00:18:10,255 --> 00:18:11,722 Get away from the house! 263 00:18:18,797 --> 00:18:20,788 (alarm sounds) 264 00:18:20,866 --> 00:18:22,959 The police are on their way! 265 00:18:23,035 --> 00:18:25,902 Get away from the house! The police are on their way! 266 00:18:26,238 --> 00:18:28,263 Get away from the house! 267 00:18:31,176 --> 00:18:32,768 (beeps) 268 00:18:48,494 --> 00:18:50,962 (sound of machine gunfire) 269 00:18:51,029 --> 00:18:52,963 The police are on their way! 270 00:18:53,031 --> 00:18:56,296 Get away from the house! The police are on their way! 271 00:18:56,568 --> 00:18:59,264 Get away from the house! The police are on their way! 272 00:19:05,344 --> 00:19:06,971 Tim! 273 00:19:07,412 --> 00:19:09,175 (Tim) Don't panic! 274 00:19:09,248 --> 00:19:13,617 Oh, good God! How much longer must l endure this madness? 275 00:19:13,685 --> 00:19:17,246 Bells and whistles and little men popping up at all hours of the night? 276 00:19:17,322 --> 00:19:21,952 l am so sorry. l don't want to upset you. You're the only neighbor speaking to us. 277 00:19:22,027 --> 00:19:25,758 Well, l am about one siren blast away from going over to the other side. 278 00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:27,458 l'm about ready to join you. 279 00:19:27,533 --> 00:19:30,195 How could you let Tim put in such a ridiculous alarm system? 280 00:19:30,269 --> 00:19:33,261 Well, it was actually my idea. 281 00:19:33,338 --> 00:19:35,238 - Your idea? - Yeah. 282 00:19:35,307 --> 00:19:37,298 After you got robbed, l got scared. 283 00:19:37,376 --> 00:19:40,607 l started imaging horrible things happening to the family. 284 00:19:40,679 --> 00:19:45,116 Crazy people lurking behind every door, scaring the kids, taking all our stuff. 285 00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:46,242 Mm-hmm. 286 00:19:46,318 --> 00:19:50,755 You thought that, with a state-of-the-art alarm system, you'd no longer be afraid. 287 00:19:50,822 --> 00:19:54,952 Well, yeah. But now all l'm afraid of is setting off this insane system! 288 00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:58,224 Well, Jill, l wouldn't worry about it. 289 00:19:59,798 --> 00:20:04,428 As the physicist Edward Teller told me over borscht at the Russian Tea Room, 290 00:20:04,503 --> 00:20:09,099 total security has never been available to anyone. To expect it is unrealistic. 291 00:20:09,174 --> 00:20:13,474 To imagine that it can exist is an invite to disaster. 292 00:20:13,545 --> 00:20:17,504 Well, this week would qualify as a complete disaster. 293 00:20:17,583 --> 00:20:19,551 l wish we could scale this thing back. 294 00:20:19,618 --> 00:20:22,951 But l can't ask him to do that after he's put all this effort into it. 295 00:20:23,021 --> 00:20:25,012 Why don't you present him with a petition 296 00:20:25,090 --> 00:20:29,117 signed by all his neighbors who are sleep-deprived? 297 00:20:29,194 --> 00:20:32,891 Wilson, you know nobody in this neighborhood ever signs anything. 298 00:20:32,965 --> 00:20:36,025 Well, Jill, there's always a first time. 299 00:20:39,938 --> 00:20:44,034 All right, all right. l think l've got the inside sensors figured out. 300 00:20:44,109 --> 00:20:45,371 - Hey, Wilson. - Hey. 301 00:20:45,444 --> 00:20:46,433 What do you got? 302 00:20:46,511 --> 00:20:49,947 A petition from all the neighbors angry about your security system. 303 00:20:50,015 --> 00:20:52,108 (mock laughter) 304 00:20:53,185 --> 00:20:56,279 Joe Paduro? That guy lives, like, four blocks away. 305 00:20:56,355 --> 00:21:01,315 Well, l think he's still angry about being hit by the spaghetti. 306 00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:05,225 Tim, we gotta talk about scaling this thing back. 307 00:21:05,297 --> 00:21:07,322 You know, this was partly your idea. 308 00:21:07,399 --> 00:21:09,833 l'll figure it out as soon as l can get these motion detectors... 309 00:21:09,901 --> 00:21:11,892 (alarm sounds) 310 00:21:12,804 --> 00:21:14,135 Hey! 311 00:21:21,546 --> 00:21:23,639 Welcome back to Tool Time on location. 312 00:21:23,715 --> 00:21:27,583 Last week we showed you how to install a state-of-the-art security system. 313 00:21:27,653 --> 00:21:30,952 Today we'll show you how to install a more modest system. 314 00:21:31,023 --> 00:21:35,153 And for people whose neighbors signed a huge petition. 315 00:21:37,396 --> 00:21:41,230 We eliminated 1 7 or 1 8 zones and went with a much smaller control panel. 316 00:21:41,300 --> 00:21:45,202 Now we have only one security camera situated over the front door. 317 00:21:45,270 --> 00:21:47,238 There you go. See that picture? Very nice. 318 00:21:47,306 --> 00:21:50,036 That's my son Brad with a good friend, Jason. 319 00:21:50,108 --> 00:21:53,475 Jason just bought his first circular saw. 320 00:21:53,545 --> 00:21:58,141 - You want your money back? - I decided not to cheat on the test 321 00:21:58,216 --> 00:22:01,310 - Why not? - Well. first of all it's wrong 322 00:22:01,386 --> 00:22:03,547 And if my parents caught me. they'd kill me 323 00:22:03,622 --> 00:22:06,113 They'd never catch on specially your dad 324 00:22:06,191 --> 00:22:10,992 He still thinks l bought a saw and that l tape Tool Time l mean... 325 00:22:11,830 --> 00:22:13,354 (Tim laughs) 326 00:22:13,432 --> 00:22:18,267 Well, you don't have to tape Tool Time now, Jason, because you're on it live. 327 00:22:18,337 --> 00:22:21,568 And l'll be sending this tape to your folks. 328 00:22:22,941 --> 00:22:26,741 Did l mention l'm an orphan, sir? 329 00:22:30,816 --> 00:22:32,977 l think l love you no... mo... 330 00:22:34,853 --> 00:22:35,911 One more time. 331 00:22:35,987 --> 00:22:37,887 ''l love you more at this moment than ever.'' 332 00:22:37,956 --> 00:22:38,820 Something like that. 333 00:22:38,890 --> 00:22:41,415 ''l've never loved you as much as l do at this moment!'' 334 00:22:41,493 --> 00:22:42,482 Here we go. 335 00:22:42,561 --> 00:22:45,894 Wow. You're... you're doing a Tool Time right here in this house? 336 00:22:45,964 --> 00:22:48,228 Oh, yeah. 337 00:22:48,300 --> 00:22:49,528 Whew! 338 00:22:49,601 --> 00:22:51,466 Wow. 339 00:22:51,536 --> 00:22:53,970 That would be your line. 340 00:22:54,039 --> 00:22:56,030 Would it?