1 00:00:04,771 --> 00:00:06,534 Does everybody know what time it is? 2 00:00:06,606 --> 00:00:08,574 - Tool Time! - That's right. 3 00:00:08,675 --> 00:00:12,304 Binford Tools is proud to present Tim ''The Tool Man'' Taylor! 4 00:00:12,379 --> 00:00:14,347 [cheering] 5 00:00:17,217 --> 00:00:18,548 Thank you. 6 00:00:19,619 --> 00:00:20,779 Thank you, everybody. 7 00:00:20,887 --> 00:00:23,856 Welcome to Tool Time. l am Tim ''The Tool Man'' Taylor. 8 00:00:23,923 --> 00:00:26,585 Of course, you all know my assistant, Al Borland. 9 00:00:26,659 --> 00:00:28,957 [cheering] 10 00:00:30,130 --> 00:00:31,654 Thank you. 11 00:00:33,366 --> 00:00:35,926 Well, it's autumn and we all know what that means. 12 00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:39,597 The days grow shorter and Al grows wider. 13 00:00:41,474 --> 00:00:45,501 Autumn leaves are falling off the trees and that means more work in your yard. 14 00:00:45,578 --> 00:00:49,446 l don't know about you, but when l was a kid, raking leaves, worst job. 15 00:00:49,516 --> 00:00:52,212 Every Saturday, my mom: ''Get out there and rake leaves. 16 00:00:52,285 --> 00:00:54,253 And get your brother out of that bag!'' 17 00:00:55,522 --> 00:00:59,014 The only fun we had when l was a kid was you'd be able to burn them in big piles. 18 00:00:59,092 --> 00:01:01,856 We can't do that now, it's not good for the environment. 19 00:01:01,928 --> 00:01:03,793 - Not at all. - But there are fine tools 20 00:01:03,863 --> 00:01:06,388 that can help you clean up leaves more effectively. 21 00:01:06,466 --> 00:01:08,229 - Let's look at some of them. - OK. 22 00:01:08,334 --> 00:01:12,430 Here we've got the Binford 61 00 hand-held electric blower. 23 00:01:12,505 --> 00:01:16,168 That's a lot of fun, blowing the leaves in your neighbor's yard. 24 00:01:16,242 --> 00:01:19,609 But if he catches you, you still gotta put them in a bag. 25 00:01:19,712 --> 00:01:24,081 Well, then what we have here is the 61 00 Mulch 'n Vac. 26 00:01:24,150 --> 00:01:27,711 This will vacuum your leaves and mulch them at the same time. 27 00:01:33,259 --> 00:01:35,955 - [turns machine off] - As nice as that machine is, 28 00:01:36,029 --> 00:01:39,863 - you know what l've always wondered? - Why everybody likes Al? 29 00:01:43,470 --> 00:01:44,630 No. 30 00:01:44,704 --> 00:01:46,535 Why you can't use the same technology, 31 00:01:46,606 --> 00:01:50,667 but instead of sucking them off the ground, suck them off the trees. 32 00:01:52,512 --> 00:01:55,413 Well, as long as you keep wondering, no one will get hurt. 33 00:01:56,749 --> 00:02:00,116 You'd think by now you'd know me better than that. 34 00:02:00,186 --> 00:02:01,710 You're right. 35 00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:05,815 Heidi, bring out whatever ridiculous thing Tim souped up today. 36 00:02:05,892 --> 00:02:07,860 [Tim] Bring it out, Heidi. 37 00:02:10,830 --> 00:02:12,559 Here you go, Tim. 38 00:02:12,632 --> 00:02:14,259 Thank you, Heidi. 39 00:02:14,334 --> 00:02:17,428 lt's amazing what you can build with a Binford blower, 40 00:02:17,504 --> 00:02:20,667 an old VW motor and a surplus weather balloon. 41 00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:25,402 - Have you tested this? - This will be the first time. 42 00:02:34,654 --> 00:02:36,622 Well, it works. Nobody got hurt. 43 00:02:36,689 --> 00:02:38,589 Let's give Tim a big hand. 44 00:02:38,658 --> 00:02:40,319 [applause] 45 00:03:41,087 --> 00:03:43,612 [Brad] Wow. Look at all the stuff in the refrigerator. 46 00:03:43,690 --> 00:03:46,250 Chicken, potato salad, three different kinds of pie. 47 00:03:46,359 --> 00:03:47,986 Eat that and die. 48 00:03:48,995 --> 00:03:50,758 Why, did you make it? 49 00:03:52,832 --> 00:03:55,198 That food is for your aunts. 50 00:03:55,268 --> 00:03:57,736 - What do we get? - You get to clean your rooms, 51 00:03:57,804 --> 00:03:59,897 so they have a decent place to stay. 52 00:03:59,973 --> 00:04:02,703 How come we get thrown out of our rooms every time they come? 53 00:04:02,775 --> 00:04:06,836 Well, you can bunk with your aunts and watch them pluck facial hair. 54 00:04:08,881 --> 00:04:11,577 Why can't they just shave like Grandma? 55 00:04:11,651 --> 00:04:12,913 You're not old enough. 56 00:04:12,986 --> 00:04:15,352 You know Grandma still uses a straight edge? 57 00:04:16,656 --> 00:04:19,523 - What are we doing? - Talking about sleeping arrangements. 58 00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:21,150 l get her. 59 00:04:22,028 --> 00:04:25,259 - Sleeping arrangements for the weekend. - We'll have a lot of fun. 60 00:04:25,331 --> 00:04:29,097 The Taylor men sleeping outside, barbequing every meal. 61 00:04:29,168 --> 00:04:32,535 We'll test Binford's new Outdoor Adventure series camping equipment. 62 00:04:32,639 --> 00:04:34,334 lt'll be a great time, guys. 63 00:04:34,407 --> 00:04:36,932 - Aren't we gonna freeze? - The weak ones will. 64 00:04:38,344 --> 00:04:40,835 We got Binford's new thermal-lined sleeping bags. 65 00:04:40,913 --> 00:04:43,177 We're gonna have a lot of fun, guys. 66 00:04:43,249 --> 00:04:45,615 l'm really excited about my sisters coming. 67 00:04:46,352 --> 00:04:47,785 - Me, too. - Yeah. 68 00:04:47,854 --> 00:04:50,152 That's why you are sleeping outside? 69 00:04:51,424 --> 00:04:54,154 l'm sleeping outside so the boys and l stay out of your way 70 00:04:54,227 --> 00:04:57,719 while you guys plan this 50th anniversary party for your parents. 71 00:04:57,797 --> 00:05:00,960 - Your sisters are great. - Yeah, they are. 72 00:05:01,034 --> 00:05:04,299 lf you like whacked-out, self-absorbed, neurotic women. 73 00:05:06,472 --> 00:05:07,996 Which l do! 74 00:05:09,008 --> 00:05:12,239 Well, they are kind of neurotic, especially when they argue. 75 00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:14,246 Robin doesn't argue. She's the fun one. 76 00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:17,249 - Robin's not coming. - She's also the smart one. 77 00:05:18,484 --> 00:05:21,009 - You suppose it's too late to cancel? - l'm kidding. 78 00:05:21,087 --> 00:05:23,317 - lt'll be great. Don't worry. - lt will. 79 00:05:23,389 --> 00:05:26,483 l'll just do what l always do. l'll be the sensible, positive one 80 00:05:26,559 --> 00:05:29,255 - who keeps it from falling apart. - Know what you need? 81 00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:32,025 - A stiff drink. - That... 82 00:05:32,098 --> 00:05:33,827 ...and a battle plan. A battle plan! 83 00:05:33,900 --> 00:05:35,595 - A battle plan. - No, listen. 84 00:05:35,668 --> 00:05:39,035 You're from a military family. You gotta take control. Be forceful. 85 00:05:39,138 --> 00:05:42,266 lf they get out of line you have them drop and do 20. 86 00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:46,774 l could be forceful. After all, l am a colonel's daughter. 87 00:05:46,879 --> 00:05:49,609 That's the attitude. Be forceful. Take command. 88 00:05:49,682 --> 00:05:51,343 - OK. Tim. - All right. Yeah? 89 00:05:51,417 --> 00:05:54,181 l want you to have this area vacuumed by 1 800 hours. 90 00:05:58,925 --> 00:06:01,393 - What do you guys think? - Wow. This tent is huge. 91 00:06:02,261 --> 00:06:03,694 Even when you're roughing it 92 00:06:03,763 --> 00:06:06,664 you gotta leave room for some of your basic comforts. 93 00:06:08,267 --> 00:06:11,498 Dad, you got a TV and an Oriental rug in here. 94 00:06:13,139 --> 00:06:14,834 You got everything but a bathroom. 95 00:06:14,907 --> 00:06:16,374 Au contraire. 96 00:06:18,444 --> 00:06:20,912 Say hello to the throne away from home. 97 00:06:23,483 --> 00:06:26,008 Binford's little camper amigo. 98 00:06:26,085 --> 00:06:28,212 Comes fully equipped with a changeable bag. 99 00:06:28,287 --> 00:06:31,586 l think l'll say hello to real plumbing one last time. 100 00:06:33,860 --> 00:06:37,159 Wait a minute. Randy, come back here. Your aunts are here. 101 00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:40,461 - There here! - Hello, here he is! 102 00:06:40,533 --> 00:06:42,501 Look at you. Oh, l can't believe it. 103 00:06:44,971 --> 00:06:47,132 He's a dead man. 104 00:06:47,206 --> 00:06:50,972 - Where is he? l can't see him? - [Tim] They're nightmares. 105 00:06:51,043 --> 00:06:53,136 They've swallowed him whole. 106 00:06:53,212 --> 00:06:56,443 - [door opens] - Come on, say hello. 107 00:06:56,516 --> 00:06:58,848 - [Mark whines] - l'll be right behind you. 108 00:07:00,953 --> 00:07:03,444 Aw, not Mark! 109 00:07:03,523 --> 00:07:06,549 - How can it be? - [kissing] 110 00:07:08,394 --> 00:07:10,919 No! Uh, uh, uh, uh. Wait. 111 00:07:10,997 --> 00:07:12,931 We're not gonna let you get away. 112 00:07:12,999 --> 00:07:14,899 [kissing] 113 00:07:14,967 --> 00:07:16,059 Where's Tim? 114 00:07:26,579 --> 00:07:30,345 - What is that? - lt's supposed to repel mosquitoes. 115 00:07:30,416 --> 00:07:32,782 l hope it also repels aunts. 116 00:07:34,387 --> 00:07:35,945 Come here, you. 117 00:07:36,022 --> 00:07:39,583 lf you want to keep me away you should have gone with a welding mask. 118 00:07:39,659 --> 00:07:41,126 - Hi, there. - Hi. 119 00:07:41,727 --> 00:07:43,354 Skinny. 120 00:07:45,898 --> 00:07:49,356 l can't believe l bought this fattening food and everybody's on a diet. 121 00:07:49,435 --> 00:07:50,902 Linda, you look fantastic. 122 00:07:50,970 --> 00:07:53,336 How much weight have you lost since the divorce? 123 00:07:53,406 --> 00:07:54,964 Two hundred pounds. 124 00:07:56,175 --> 00:07:58,541 'Course, 1 70 of that was husband. 125 00:08:00,613 --> 00:08:03,480 No, really, how did you lose all the weight? 126 00:08:03,549 --> 00:08:05,813 l went to this psychic nutritionist. 127 00:08:05,885 --> 00:08:08,445 She told me something that changed my life. 128 00:08:08,521 --> 00:08:11,251 - What did she say? - ''Linda, you're too damn fat.'' 129 00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:15,650 Psychics are just a little kooky for me. 130 00:08:15,728 --> 00:08:17,696 l weigh my food. 131 00:08:17,763 --> 00:08:20,288 Oh, ho. Well, this is good. 132 00:08:20,366 --> 00:08:22,527 Now that we've settled all the food issues, 133 00:08:22,602 --> 00:08:26,163 we can scarf down the salads and get to work on planning this party. 134 00:08:26,239 --> 00:08:29,003 l'm gonna share the chicken Caesar with Jill. 135 00:08:29,075 --> 00:08:32,442 - Who's sharing my Cobb salad? - l forgot to order that. 136 00:08:33,379 --> 00:08:36,542 Typical. Everybody always forgets about Carrie. 137 00:08:36,616 --> 00:08:39,346 You did the same thing at the cottage last summer. 138 00:08:39,418 --> 00:08:41,784 You were at the cottage last summer? 139 00:08:43,122 --> 00:08:45,022 Come on, come on. 140 00:08:48,728 --> 00:08:50,161 [sizzling] 141 00:08:50,930 --> 00:08:53,899 Wow. That's the biggest piece of meat l've ever seen. 142 00:08:53,966 --> 00:08:56,833 Yeah? You haven't seen my piece yet. Hold on. 143 00:09:02,441 --> 00:09:04,807 - You're gonna eat that whole thing? - Yeah. 144 00:09:05,945 --> 00:09:08,607 We're gonna need a bigger bag for the throne. 145 00:09:10,750 --> 00:09:14,447 All right. Let's start off by talking about the centerpieces. 146 00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:17,853 Oh! l know what Mom and Dad would simply love. 147 00:09:18,524 --> 00:09:21,459 - Tulips. - Tulips. Fabulous idea. 148 00:09:21,527 --> 00:09:23,757 No, not according to my aromatherapist. 149 00:09:23,829 --> 00:09:25,854 She says they give off negative energy. 150 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:31,097 You have an aromatherapist and a psychic nutritionist? 151 00:09:31,170 --> 00:09:35,129 Uh-huh. Yeah. They're in the same building as my cat's hypnotist. 152 00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:38,544 Carrie, what about the guest list? 153 00:09:38,611 --> 00:09:40,909 Yeah, l got it right here. 154 00:09:40,980 --> 00:09:43,813 There's a total of 1 25 people. 155 00:09:43,883 --> 00:09:48,752 That includes all of Mom's friends and the one guy who's still talking to Dad. 156 00:09:50,022 --> 00:09:54,857 Now, wait a minute. There were only supposed to be 1 20 people. 157 00:09:54,927 --> 00:09:56,656 l mean, it worked out perfectly. 158 00:09:57,163 --> 00:09:58,721 Ten tables of 1 2. 159 00:09:58,798 --> 00:10:02,632 OK. So now we'll have five tables of 1 2 and five tables of 1 3. 160 00:10:02,702 --> 00:10:04,329 - Perfect. - Oh, no, no, no, no. 161 00:10:04,403 --> 00:10:08,066 You cannot have 1 3 people at a table for 1 2. 162 00:10:08,140 --> 00:10:11,007 You can if you believe you can. 163 00:10:13,412 --> 00:10:15,505 What is that supposed to mean? 164 00:10:15,581 --> 00:10:19,278 Well, l believe that we should talk about something we can agree on. 165 00:10:19,352 --> 00:10:21,820 What about the photo album we're making? 166 00:10:21,887 --> 00:10:24,014 - Sure. - Anybody got any pictures? 167 00:10:24,090 --> 00:10:27,526 l found a picture of you when you were a kid. 168 00:10:27,593 --> 00:10:32,087 Oh, look, here's one of me and Ted on our wedding day. 169 00:10:34,266 --> 00:10:36,427 Here's another one of you and Ted. 170 00:10:37,003 --> 00:10:39,767 Linda, when did you have dark curly hair? 171 00:10:39,872 --> 00:10:41,806 Never. Here, let me see that. 172 00:10:43,342 --> 00:10:44,866 Well, that's not me. 173 00:10:44,944 --> 00:10:47,242 That's Tracy sitting on my husband's lap. 174 00:10:48,114 --> 00:10:50,378 What were you doing, sitting on my husband's lap? 175 00:10:50,449 --> 00:10:53,282 Well, he's not your husband anymore. 176 00:10:53,352 --> 00:10:57,914 And he wasn't your husband when l was dating him. 177 00:11:00,292 --> 00:11:02,419 So, you see. lt all worked out. 178 00:11:03,863 --> 00:11:07,230 Oh, well. Were you dating him while l was dating him? 179 00:11:07,299 --> 00:11:09,130 What's the difference? 180 00:11:09,201 --> 00:11:11,965 Yeah, it was a long time ago. lt was only, what, a few times? 181 00:11:12,071 --> 00:11:14,972 Wait a second. You knew about this? Hold on, excuse me. 182 00:11:15,041 --> 00:11:18,772 How come everyone knew that Tracy was dating Ted except me? 183 00:11:18,844 --> 00:11:21,870 l didn't know, but nobody ever tells Carrie anything. 184 00:11:22,615 --> 00:11:25,243 Jill, if you knew about this why didn't you tell me? 185 00:11:25,317 --> 00:11:29,253 Because Tracy swore me to secrecy, and you know how l am with secrets. 186 00:11:29,321 --> 00:11:32,449 Once it goes in the vault it never comes out. 187 00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:34,686 Hey, guys, l need some meat tenderizer. 188 00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:37,627 Say, how's the party planning going? 189 00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:39,358 Well, you know, l don't know. 190 00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:41,992 l just found out that Tracy was dating Ted. 191 00:11:42,068 --> 00:11:45,560 Oh, yeah. Remember when you guys went to the Portuguese restaurant? 192 00:11:47,039 --> 00:11:50,372 He had the shellfish. He was sick for a week. Remember that? 193 00:11:51,510 --> 00:11:54,638 - Who told you about it? - Big blabbermouth. 194 00:12:05,858 --> 00:12:07,883 [Tim snoring] 195 00:12:08,828 --> 00:12:10,659 [snoring] 196 00:12:20,239 --> 00:12:22,901 How can so much noise come out of one nose? 197 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:26,439 - [snoring] - [Mark] Maybe if we close it. 198 00:12:28,214 --> 00:12:30,739 No, then the noise would just come out of his mouth. 199 00:12:32,118 --> 00:12:34,484 What if we close his nose and his mouth? 200 00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:37,078 l think that's called murder. 201 00:12:37,957 --> 00:12:39,481 [snoring] 202 00:12:41,527 --> 00:12:44,052 l could hear him from all the way upstairs. 203 00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:47,899 - Scary, isn't it? - How do you live with it? 204 00:12:47,967 --> 00:12:49,901 [sighing] Watch and learn. 205 00:12:52,037 --> 00:12:54,801 - We'll be back after these messages. - Tim, Tim! 206 00:12:57,243 --> 00:12:58,801 - Honey, honey. - What? What! 207 00:12:58,878 --> 00:13:00,812 - l need to talk to you. - Oh. 208 00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:03,212 Can you do it outside so we can get some sleep? 209 00:13:03,282 --> 00:13:05,944 Yeah. Why did you have to wake up the boys? 210 00:13:10,656 --> 00:13:12,624 Tim, this is a disaster. 211 00:13:12,725 --> 00:13:15,421 We haven't done one thing about Mom and Dad's party. 212 00:13:15,494 --> 00:13:18,588 lf l don't get them to stop fighting it's never gonna happen. 213 00:13:18,664 --> 00:13:19,790 OK, OK. 214 00:13:20,199 --> 00:13:22,633 You do what l do to stop my brothers from fighting. 215 00:13:22,701 --> 00:13:25,169 - What's that? - Crack open a six pack, 216 00:13:26,338 --> 00:13:28,101 roll up a wet towel, 217 00:13:28,207 --> 00:13:31,370 and snap each other on the butt raising a welt you can be proud of. 218 00:13:32,945 --> 00:13:35,470 l don't think that's gonna work on my sisters. 219 00:13:35,548 --> 00:13:37,709 Too bad. They got some great targets. 220 00:13:39,018 --> 00:13:40,645 - Tim. - All right, all right. 221 00:13:40,719 --> 00:13:43,415 You gotta lay down the law with these girls, all right? 222 00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:44,820 lt's our house. 223 00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:48,487 You tell them nobody's allowed to fight in this house. 224 00:13:48,561 --> 00:13:51,029 Except you and me. 225 00:13:51,096 --> 00:13:53,530 All right. l'm gonna give 'em one last chance. 226 00:13:53,599 --> 00:13:57,160 And if any of them give me any lip, l'm gonna tell Mommy and Daddy. 227 00:14:00,573 --> 00:14:04,304 Now, l want you all to just forget about last night. 228 00:14:05,010 --> 00:14:06,375 This is a brand new day. 229 00:14:06,445 --> 00:14:09,812 We're gonna put aside our differences and think about Mom and Dad. 230 00:14:09,915 --> 00:14:13,874 Now, l want to begin with a group hug. 231 00:14:13,986 --> 00:14:15,715 - Aw, OK. - Come on. 232 00:14:15,788 --> 00:14:17,551 - Come on. - OK. 233 00:14:17,623 --> 00:14:19,716 - [Carrie clears throat] - Oh. 234 00:14:26,398 --> 00:14:28,423 lsn't this nice? We're bonding. 235 00:14:28,500 --> 00:14:31,936 Oh, good. l got something that will bond to your ribs. 236 00:14:32,004 --> 00:14:33,369 l cooked your breakfast. 237 00:14:33,439 --> 00:14:36,272 Belgian waffles, six different kinds of breakfast meats. 238 00:14:36,342 --> 00:14:38,503 Thank you, Tim. 239 00:14:38,577 --> 00:14:40,511 You've been away from animal products, 240 00:14:40,579 --> 00:14:42,877 but l think it's time to come home to hot links. 241 00:14:45,050 --> 00:14:46,711 How do you eat those things? 242 00:14:46,785 --> 00:14:48,480 l like to wrap mine in bacon. 243 00:14:51,523 --> 00:14:55,482 A little Canadian bacon outside. Pig-in-a-blanket wearing a parka. 244 00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,994 Don't load up. l got a surprise for you. 245 00:15:00,065 --> 00:15:02,932 - OK, everybody, let's get to work. - OK. 246 00:15:03,002 --> 00:15:06,961 Now, does anybody know a good place in San Antonio where we can have a party? 247 00:15:07,039 --> 00:15:10,668 l know a wonderful place right around the corner from me, Clancy's. 248 00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:13,803 Every chicken breast is exactly 3.5 ounces. 249 00:15:13,879 --> 00:15:15,710 l don't even need to bring my scale. 250 00:15:15,781 --> 00:15:17,749 You know what? l've got a better idea. 251 00:15:17,816 --> 00:15:19,681 The last time l was at the Riverwalk 252 00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:22,050 l found this great new Korean restaurant. 253 00:15:22,121 --> 00:15:25,682 Oh, yeah. That ought to bring back some nice war memories for Dad. 254 00:15:27,359 --> 00:15:28,986 OK, girls. 255 00:15:31,530 --> 00:15:33,020 Cajun patties. 256 00:15:33,098 --> 00:15:36,534 You'll love them. [southern accent] l guarantee it. 257 00:15:37,069 --> 00:15:38,627 We have to make a decision. 258 00:15:38,704 --> 00:15:43,141 l say for the music we should go with the Hank Pfefferman Five. 259 00:15:43,208 --> 00:15:46,644 - l love Hank Pfefferman. - l hate Hank Pfefferman. 260 00:15:46,712 --> 00:15:49,272 You are saying that because you know that l love him. 261 00:15:49,348 --> 00:15:51,908 - No, l'm not. - Can't we agree about something? 262 00:15:52,818 --> 00:15:56,515 Four different kinds of hot sauce. Say hello to your lower intestines. 263 00:15:59,091 --> 00:16:02,390 Why am l the only one who's never heard of Hank Pfefferman? 264 00:16:02,461 --> 00:16:04,361 Thank your lucky stars. He stinks. 265 00:16:04,430 --> 00:16:06,455 Says who, your cat's piano teacher? 266 00:16:07,933 --> 00:16:10,868 How do you teach a cat to play the piano? 267 00:16:12,671 --> 00:16:14,901 You can't. Your idiot sister made that up. 268 00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:17,272 - Now l'm an idiot? - You were always an idiot. 269 00:16:17,343 --> 00:16:21,211 - [all arguing] - Stop it. Stop it! 270 00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:22,770 You are all insane. 271 00:16:22,848 --> 00:16:24,816 And l'm insane for listening to this. 272 00:16:24,917 --> 00:16:27,078 l'm sick of all this fighting. 273 00:16:27,152 --> 00:16:28,779 l'm sick of playing referee. 274 00:16:28,854 --> 00:16:32,085 When there is no party for Mom and Dad you can tell them why. 275 00:16:32,624 --> 00:16:33,716 [Tim] Jill? 276 00:16:33,792 --> 00:16:35,851 Well, what's wrong with her? 277 00:16:35,928 --> 00:16:38,021 l don't know. 278 00:16:38,097 --> 00:16:39,462 She's always so sensible. 279 00:16:39,565 --> 00:16:42,728 You'd think she'd try a little harder with family here. 280 00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:44,359 Excuse me. Excuse me. 281 00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:50,332 My wife has been up all night worrying because you hens won't stop bickering. 282 00:16:56,081 --> 00:16:58,572 She drives herself nuts and how do you thank her? 283 00:16:58,650 --> 00:17:00,345 Argue about a cat playing a piano 284 00:17:00,419 --> 00:17:02,148 and Hank Fahrvegnugen! 285 00:17:03,989 --> 00:17:05,684 You know what? l'm sick of this too. 286 00:17:05,758 --> 00:17:08,921 From now on, you're no longer welcome at my sausage bar. 287 00:17:17,669 --> 00:17:20,035 - Hi, Jill. - Hi, Delores, how are you? 288 00:17:20,105 --> 00:17:21,265 l've been better. 289 00:17:21,373 --> 00:17:24,001 Some jerk just left me a four cent tip. 290 00:17:24,076 --> 00:17:26,704 - People can be so rude. - The joke's on him. 291 00:17:26,779 --> 00:17:29,043 His veggie burger was made out of pork. 292 00:17:30,482 --> 00:17:32,382 What can l get for you? 293 00:17:32,451 --> 00:17:34,351 How about a cup of tea? 294 00:17:36,989 --> 00:17:39,355 [Wilson] Well, hi ho, Jill. 295 00:17:40,759 --> 00:17:42,249 Hi, Wilson, how are you? 296 00:17:42,327 --> 00:17:45,490 Well, l came over here to get away from the flank steak fumes 297 00:17:45,564 --> 00:17:47,327 which are permeating my backyard. 298 00:17:47,433 --> 00:17:48,900 Here you go, Jill. 299 00:17:48,967 --> 00:17:50,127 Thank you. 300 00:17:50,235 --> 00:17:55,764 Oh, Delores, can l get a cup of your superlative mocha java? 301 00:17:55,841 --> 00:17:57,934 Mocha java. Mr. Fancy! 302 00:17:58,010 --> 00:17:59,534 [Wilson chuckling] 303 00:18:00,112 --> 00:18:04,173 Oh, Jill, so what brings you over here to the Copper Kettle? 304 00:18:04,249 --> 00:18:06,410 l've been driving around all morning. 305 00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:09,247 l blew up and stormed out of my own house 306 00:18:09,321 --> 00:18:12,415 'cause l couldn't stand to be around my sisters another minute. 307 00:18:12,491 --> 00:18:13,924 l think you can go home now. 308 00:18:13,992 --> 00:18:18,224 As l was leaving the house l saw them pulling away in a cab. 309 00:18:19,565 --> 00:18:20,725 Great. 310 00:18:20,799 --> 00:18:24,565 We're supposed to be planning this very important event in my parents' lives 311 00:18:24,670 --> 00:18:25,637 and my sisters bail. 312 00:18:25,737 --> 00:18:28,228 l don't know why l'm surprised. They get to be crazy. 313 00:18:28,307 --> 00:18:29,831 l have to be the sensible one. 314 00:18:29,908 --> 00:18:32,001 Well, it can be quite a burden. 315 00:18:32,077 --> 00:18:35,137 Know what it's like to have everybody come with their problems, 316 00:18:35,214 --> 00:18:36,681 and expect you to solve them? 317 00:18:43,355 --> 00:18:45,323 You know, Jill, l realize it isn't easy. 318 00:18:45,390 --> 00:18:48,291 A lot of people think it's a picnic for me to stand by the fence 319 00:18:48,360 --> 00:18:50,828 and offer up a quotation for every situation. 320 00:18:51,763 --> 00:18:54,027 l mean, what am l, a library? 321 00:18:54,099 --> 00:18:57,796 Here we go. For Mr. Fancy a cup of our finest. 322 00:18:57,870 --> 00:18:59,201 [Wilson chuckling] 323 00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:06,240 - Good. - Well, the crazy people have it easy. 324 00:19:06,311 --> 00:19:08,802 l mean, they don't care what people think. 325 00:19:09,581 --> 00:19:12,550 They lose control, they say whatever pops into their heads. 326 00:19:12,618 --> 00:19:14,085 - [Wilson] Mmm. - Yeah. 327 00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,644 lt's us sensible people who suffer. 328 00:19:16,722 --> 00:19:18,781 So, we have to learn to fight back. 329 00:19:18,857 --> 00:19:20,119 How? 330 00:19:20,192 --> 00:19:21,659 By doing what you did today. 331 00:19:23,095 --> 00:19:25,188 - What did l do? - You lost control. 332 00:19:25,264 --> 00:19:27,732 You said the first thing that popped into your head 333 00:19:27,799 --> 00:19:30,324 and you didn't care what anybody thought. 334 00:19:30,402 --> 00:19:32,131 Congratulations, Jill. 335 00:19:32,204 --> 00:19:34,138 You are a nut. 336 00:19:37,276 --> 00:19:40,245 - l am, aren't l? - Oh, certifiable. 337 00:19:40,345 --> 00:19:42,279 Thank you, Wilson. 338 00:19:43,916 --> 00:19:46,885 Hey, Dad, here's a perfect picture for the cover of the album, 339 00:19:46,952 --> 00:19:48,920 Grandma and Grandpa on their wedding day. 340 00:19:49,988 --> 00:19:51,717 That's your mother and me. 341 00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:56,190 Oh, yeah. The church is on fire. 342 00:19:58,397 --> 00:20:00,058 - [Tim] Hi. - Hi, guys. 343 00:20:00,132 --> 00:20:02,396 - [Randy] Hi, Mom. - l feel a lot better. 344 00:20:02,467 --> 00:20:04,628 l'm ready to start planning the party. 345 00:20:04,703 --> 00:20:06,193 What are you doing? 346 00:20:06,271 --> 00:20:09,240 - Planning the party. - Your photo album's almost done. 347 00:20:09,341 --> 00:20:10,569 And we booked the band. 348 00:20:10,642 --> 00:20:12,803 l talked to Hank's wife, Faye Pfefferman. 349 00:20:12,878 --> 00:20:15,972 She drives the bus, the Pfeffermobile. 350 00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:19,814 l can't believe it. You guys are so sweet. 351 00:20:19,885 --> 00:20:22,854 - Hi, we're back! - [all] Hi! 352 00:20:22,955 --> 00:20:25,617 - l thought you went home. - Home? No. 353 00:20:25,691 --> 00:20:28,455 We went to the florist to get some prices and ideas. 354 00:20:29,561 --> 00:20:31,426 - ln a cab? - You had the Nomad. 355 00:20:31,496 --> 00:20:33,259 They're not gonna fit in the Healey. 356 00:20:33,365 --> 00:20:37,028 And if you think l'm letting them take my Mustang, l don't think so. 357 00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:42,336 Listen, Jill, after you left Tim was kind enough to point out to us 358 00:20:42,407 --> 00:20:45,672 - we were behaving like idiots. - l pointed that out. 359 00:20:45,744 --> 00:20:49,180 lt had a lot more impact coming from a guy snapping a wet towel. 360 00:20:50,582 --> 00:20:53,210 Hey, is everybody ready to plan this party? 361 00:20:53,285 --> 00:20:56,516 - Let's do it. - We'll stay here as long as it takes. 362 00:20:58,156 --> 00:21:00,488 - l love you guys. - [all] Oh! 363 00:21:03,495 --> 00:21:05,929 Well, l guess we know what this means. 364 00:21:05,998 --> 00:21:08,159 The meat fest continues. 365 00:21:08,900 --> 00:21:10,265 Wait. Wait a minute. 366 00:21:10,369 --> 00:21:12,735 l could marinate a skirt steak. How about that? 367 00:21:12,804 --> 00:21:15,637 How about a pork barbeque? Or pork bar? 368 00:21:15,707 --> 00:21:17,675 lt'll be ''hams across America''. 369 00:21:26,551 --> 00:21:28,109 [snoring] 370 00:21:35,227 --> 00:21:37,058 [snoring continues] 371 00:21:41,767 --> 00:21:42,995 [grunting] 372 00:21:43,068 --> 00:21:46,037 We'll be right back after these messages from Binford Tools. 373 00:21:46,104 --> 00:21:49,073 Honey. Honey, honey, wake up. You're not on Tool Time. 374 00:21:49,174 --> 00:21:53,042 Oh. lt's too bad. lt was a great Gadget Corner. 375 00:21:53,645 --> 00:21:55,977 We made a machine that shaved Al's back. 376 00:21:58,016 --> 00:21:59,950 l have something l want to say to you. 377 00:22:00,018 --> 00:22:01,645 [Tim sighing] 378 00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:04,086 What you did today meant a lot to me. 379 00:22:04,189 --> 00:22:06,020 l know how much your sisters mean to you. 380 00:22:06,091 --> 00:22:07,183 Yeah. 381 00:22:07,259 --> 00:22:09,887 l was afraid if l lost my relationship with my sisters 382 00:22:09,961 --> 00:22:12,725 there would be a big emotional void in my life. 383 00:22:12,831 --> 00:22:15,356 - Voids. - But now l realize that there... 384 00:22:15,434 --> 00:22:17,197 ...can never be a void, 385 00:22:17,302 --> 00:22:19,167 as long as l have you. 386 00:22:22,574 --> 00:22:23,802 [sighing] 387 00:22:23,875 --> 00:22:26,139 l just have one question. 388 00:22:26,211 --> 00:22:29,112 What am l doing laying out here in the grass?