1 00:00:04,137 --> 00:00:06,503 Nippy out here for a barbecue, isn't it, Wilson? 2 00:00:06,573 --> 00:00:09,736 [Wilson] Well, my cousins and their friends are in town on business. 3 00:00:09,809 --> 00:00:14,644 l'm making veggie burgers since they didn't care for my Armadillo Cacciatore. 4 00:00:15,215 --> 00:00:19,174 Your cousins are here? l'd sure like to meet them. Are they anything like you? 5 00:00:19,285 --> 00:00:21,845 No, no, no, no, no, no. They're oddballs. 6 00:00:24,657 --> 00:00:26,989 Hey, Wilson, how are those veggie burgers coming? 7 00:00:27,060 --> 00:00:28,925 Yeah, l'm starving, cuz. 8 00:00:28,995 --> 00:00:30,462 Tim Taylor. 9 00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:34,194 Uh, Tim, these are my cousins. This is Mike Love... 10 00:00:34,267 --> 00:00:36,428 ...and Carl Wilson. 11 00:00:40,974 --> 00:00:43,875 Th... these are The Beach Boys. 12 00:00:43,943 --> 00:00:45,911 He never said he was related to you guys. 13 00:00:46,012 --> 00:00:48,242 l never tell anybody. Otherwise, l'd be hounded 14 00:00:48,314 --> 00:00:51,750 - for concert tickets and autographs. - l know the feeling! 15 00:00:51,818 --> 00:00:54,946 l'm a celebrity too! Tool Time. Host. 16 00:00:55,021 --> 00:00:58,354 [hums theme song] Ha! 17 00:00:59,426 --> 00:01:01,189 Hey, any sign of a burger? 18 00:01:01,261 --> 00:01:03,695 - These are the rest of The Beach Boys. - Yeah! 19 00:01:03,763 --> 00:01:07,324 This is Bruce Johnston, and Al and Matt Jardine. 20 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:11,097 Nice to see you guys. This is just unbelievable. 21 00:01:12,806 --> 00:01:15,570 Wow! l mean, The Beach Boys right... 22 00:01:15,675 --> 00:01:17,506 Could l ask you a little favor? 23 00:01:17,577 --> 00:01:20,944 Hey, say no more. Two, three, four... 24 00:01:21,014 --> 00:01:24,040 # Little surfer 25 00:01:24,117 --> 00:01:26,813 # Little one 26 00:01:26,886 --> 00:01:29,650 # Made my heart 27 00:01:29,756 --> 00:01:33,214 # Come all undone 28 00:01:33,293 --> 00:01:36,751 # Do you love me? 29 00:01:36,830 --> 00:01:40,527 - # Do you, surfer... # - That's a good song, you know. 30 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:43,160 But l was kinda hoping... 31 00:01:45,171 --> 00:01:47,264 You know, l... 32 00:01:47,340 --> 00:01:51,709 l really like that. But l was hoping you could do one of your great car songs. 33 00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:53,541 Uh, like Little G. T.O. ? 34 00:01:53,646 --> 00:01:56,376 That wasn't our song. 35 00:01:56,449 --> 00:02:01,216 No. [laughs] l mean Little Old Lady from Pasadena. 36 00:02:01,287 --> 00:02:03,312 That was Jan and Dean. 37 00:02:03,389 --> 00:02:05,482 Um... Hey Little Cobra! 38 00:02:05,558 --> 00:02:08,391 Sorry. Rip Chords. 39 00:02:08,461 --> 00:02:11,487 The only one l know is Little Deuce Coupe. You didn't do that. 40 00:02:11,564 --> 00:02:13,191 Actually, we did. 41 00:02:14,434 --> 00:02:15,992 Well... and it was great. 42 00:02:16,069 --> 00:02:18,594 [Wilson] lt would've been if they'd used my lyrics. 43 00:02:18,671 --> 00:02:20,764 - Let's not start that argument again. - Whew! 44 00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:21,932 Come on. Give it up. 45 00:02:22,008 --> 00:02:25,466 Hey. l'll show you my hot rod if you'll sing a little of Little Deuce Coupe. 46 00:02:25,545 --> 00:02:28,309 - What kind of car do you have? - '46 Ford convertible. 47 00:02:28,381 --> 00:02:30,144 - [all] Yeah. - All-metal body. 48 00:02:30,250 --> 00:02:32,480 - [all] Whoa... - Tricked-out flathead. 49 00:02:32,552 --> 00:02:34,486 - [all] Cool! - Three carburetors. 50 00:02:34,554 --> 00:02:35,987 [all] Three?! 51 00:02:36,055 --> 00:02:38,080 One, two, three... 52 00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:41,685 # Little deuce coupe You don't know what I got 53 00:02:41,761 --> 00:02:45,720 # Little deuce coupe You don't know what I got 54 00:02:45,798 --> 00:02:49,859 # Well, I'm not braggin', babe So don't put me down 55 00:02:49,936 --> 00:02:54,396 # I've got the fastest set of wheels in town 56 00:02:54,474 --> 00:02:58,433 # When something comes up to me he don't even try 57 00:02:58,511 --> 00:03:01,844 # 'Cause if I had a set of wings I know she could fly 58 00:03:01,915 --> 00:03:06,648 # She's my little deuce coupe You don't know what I 59 00:03:06,719 --> 00:03:10,485 # My little deuce coupe You don't know what I got # 60 00:03:10,557 --> 00:03:12,184 [Tim] Hey! 61 00:04:02,909 --> 00:04:05,673 Ah, Dad. l'm getting together with Lauren. 62 00:04:05,778 --> 00:04:08,747 What do you think? Vest? 63 00:04:09,949 --> 00:04:13,510 Or... no vest? 64 00:04:15,688 --> 00:04:21,251 Well... no vest says casual and cool. 65 00:04:21,361 --> 00:04:25,855 Vest says you might be trying to impress her. You're a little desperate. 66 00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:28,594 Got it. Go with the vest. 67 00:04:30,236 --> 00:04:33,137 - Where are you and Lauren going? - To the mall. l need new shoes, 68 00:04:33,206 --> 00:04:35,174 and Lauren said she wanted to go shopping. 69 00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:38,574 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 70 00:04:38,645 --> 00:04:41,773 What does ''Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa'' mean? 71 00:04:41,848 --> 00:04:44,544 When a girl wants to help you buy shoes, 72 00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:46,881 it means she wants to be more than just friends. 73 00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:48,614 Really? 74 00:04:48,688 --> 00:04:51,987 Yeah. Here's how it goes. 75 00:04:52,058 --> 00:04:54,583 Candy store, friends. 76 00:04:54,661 --> 00:04:57,596 Shoe store, more than friends. 77 00:04:59,032 --> 00:05:02,399 Jewelry store, run for your life. 78 00:05:05,004 --> 00:05:06,096 [doorbell rings] 79 00:05:06,172 --> 00:05:08,504 Don't worry. We're nowhere near jewelry store. 80 00:05:08,574 --> 00:05:12,032 Trust me, one day you'll say the magic words: 81 00:05:12,111 --> 00:05:14,978 ''lt looks kind of like gold, doesn't it, honey?'' 82 00:05:18,384 --> 00:05:19,408 - Hey. - Hey. 83 00:05:19,485 --> 00:05:21,953 Hi, Randy. l just spoke to Mrs. Blanchard 84 00:05:22,021 --> 00:05:25,047 and she's gonna run our article on page one of Thursday's paper. 85 00:05:25,124 --> 00:05:27,991 - All right! Our first front-page story. - lsn't this great? 86 00:05:28,061 --> 00:05:29,619 Yeah. 87 00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:34,558 - Oh! Hey, Mr. Taylor. - Hello, Lauren. How are you? 88 00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:37,431 Good. So how's the hot rod coming along? 89 00:05:37,503 --> 00:05:40,666 Really good. Starting the hydraulics on the convertible top. 90 00:05:40,740 --> 00:05:43,300 Great. Did you remember to bleed the system? 91 00:05:43,376 --> 00:05:45,537 Never have to remind my dad to bleed. 92 00:05:49,849 --> 00:05:51,942 - Hi, sweetie. - [Tim] Hi. 93 00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:55,044 Mmm. You should've seen Mark at his lesson today. He was awesome. 94 00:05:55,121 --> 00:05:57,817 - Sure was. - Well, that's my boy. 95 00:05:57,890 --> 00:06:00,859 l told you, you worked hard, big things are gonna happen. 96 00:06:00,927 --> 00:06:03,828 You know, and it'll help you with future things down the line. 97 00:06:03,896 --> 00:06:07,855 You don't have any idea what we're talking about, do you? 98 00:06:07,934 --> 00:06:09,959 Not a clue. 99 00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:12,527 - l was at karate, Dad. - Yeah! 100 00:06:12,605 --> 00:06:16,097 Yeah. Well, you work hard at that and end up... 101 00:06:16,175 --> 00:06:19,338 You get a high-paying job in the karate industry. 102 00:06:20,580 --> 00:06:22,639 See you. We're going to the mall to get shoes. 103 00:06:22,715 --> 00:06:26,446 Oh, good. Listen, l need to get a pair for Mark. 104 00:06:26,519 --> 00:06:28,453 - l'd do it, but l'm swamped. - Come on. 105 00:06:28,521 --> 00:06:30,819 Lauren and l don't want Mark hanging out with us. 106 00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:33,415 Hey, come on, Randy. lt's OK. lt's no big deal. 107 00:06:33,493 --> 00:06:36,587 On the other hand, Mark can be fun. Come on, buddy. Let's go, Mark. 108 00:06:36,662 --> 00:06:38,630 - [Lauren] Bye, Mrs. Taylor. - [Jill] Bye. 109 00:06:38,731 --> 00:06:42,292 OK. So l gotta practice for my thing tonight. 110 00:06:42,368 --> 00:06:45,860 Well, get upstairs and work hard on that thing. lt'll pay off. 111 00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:49,002 Not a clue. 112 00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:50,838 [high-pitched voice] Hiyah! 113 00:06:54,714 --> 00:06:58,343 - l like the tan. What do you think? - l like the tan. 114 00:06:59,752 --> 00:07:03,244 Why don't you go pick out something in the Buster Brown section. 115 00:07:04,690 --> 00:07:06,851 l don't know. l kind of like them in black. 116 00:07:06,959 --> 00:07:09,985 - Black it is. l'll get them. - Wait a second. l haven't decided. 117 00:07:10,062 --> 00:07:12,997 [laughs] Like the guy's opinion matters. 118 00:07:15,535 --> 00:07:20,063 Well, l better go. l promised my parents l'd be home by five. 119 00:07:20,139 --> 00:07:23,006 - lt was kind of fun hanging out. - Yeah, it was. 120 00:07:23,075 --> 00:07:26,533 Maybe next time you can help me pick out some earrings at the jewelry store. 121 00:07:29,582 --> 00:07:33,643 The jewelry store. Yeah. l thought we'd pick out a lot more shoes first. 122 00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:38,651 - Right. Bye. - See ya. OK. 123 00:07:38,724 --> 00:07:42,091 Hey! You just stepped on my new shoes! 124 00:07:42,195 --> 00:07:43,355 Oh, sorry. 125 00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:47,524 No, see, l don't like it when people step on my shoes. 126 00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:49,932 Well, me either. 127 00:07:50,002 --> 00:07:52,334 Which is why l feel your pain. 128 00:07:54,874 --> 00:07:57,707 - Pain... - What is that, a joke? 129 00:07:57,777 --> 00:08:00,143 Well, not if you don't want it to be. 130 00:08:01,180 --> 00:08:04,411 Well, how would you like it if someone stepped on your shoes? 131 00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:06,850 - Ow! - Hey, leave him alone! 132 00:08:06,919 --> 00:08:09,945 - Who's this, your bodyguard? - Back off. l can handle this guy. 133 00:08:10,022 --> 00:08:12,684 Oh, yeah? Well, handle this. 134 00:08:13,359 --> 00:08:14,485 Ow! 135 00:08:24,737 --> 00:08:26,568 l got him. 136 00:08:26,639 --> 00:08:28,903 [Randy] Uh-oh, he's coming back. What do we do? 137 00:08:28,975 --> 00:08:32,308 l don't know. That's as far as we got in karate class. 138 00:08:37,950 --> 00:08:42,216 The bad news? Wilson's actually mad at his cousins because they never let him 139 00:08:42,288 --> 00:08:43,846 write lyrics for the band. 140 00:08:43,923 --> 00:08:46,653 Good news? l got the autographed picture of The Beach Boys. 141 00:08:46,726 --> 00:08:49,422 Oh, right. 142 00:08:49,495 --> 00:08:52,020 ''Dear Jill, you're married to a great man, 143 00:08:52,098 --> 00:08:54,658 and you don't need any more jewelry?'' 144 00:08:58,104 --> 00:09:00,470 l didn't say a word. 145 00:09:01,707 --> 00:09:05,438 That was so cool in the shoe store. lt was like l was somebody else. 146 00:09:05,511 --> 00:09:10,881 And yet all those other times when we wanted you to be someone else, nothing. 147 00:09:10,950 --> 00:09:14,909 - Mark, did you get some shoes? - No. But l did save Randy's life. 148 00:09:15,021 --> 00:09:17,148 What are you talking about? What happened? 149 00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:20,590 Don't worry. Nobody got hurt. Some jerk in the shoe store pushed me. 150 00:09:20,693 --> 00:09:23,127 And then l used my karate to knock him down. 151 00:09:23,195 --> 00:09:24,958 - Great! - No, it isn't. 152 00:09:25,031 --> 00:09:26,589 No, it isn't. 153 00:09:27,767 --> 00:09:31,897 Mark, we don't let you take karate so you can use it. 154 00:09:31,971 --> 00:09:33,905 Then why am l taking it? 155 00:09:33,973 --> 00:09:36,942 You'll have the confidence of knowing you can defend yourself. 156 00:09:37,009 --> 00:09:40,672 But you shouldn't because you shouldn't get into a situation where you have to. 157 00:09:42,048 --> 00:09:43,982 lt's not like he came up behind somebody. 158 00:09:44,050 --> 00:09:46,211 - He was defending Randy. - He should've done 159 00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:48,287 what l've told him to do in this situation. 160 00:09:48,354 --> 00:09:50,481 - And what's that? - Find an adult. 161 00:09:50,556 --> 00:09:54,720 - And what if there isn't one around? - Run away. 162 00:09:55,528 --> 00:09:59,294 Run away? Forget karate. Next year you're taking track. 163 00:10:03,536 --> 00:10:05,504 Hey, Taylor. We need some new loafers. 164 00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:07,368 We're kind of afraid to go to the mall. 165 00:10:07,473 --> 00:10:11,534 - Think your little brother can come? - Yeah. 166 00:10:14,113 --> 00:10:17,776 Hey, Brad. Chad and Kevin found out about what happened at the mall. 167 00:10:17,850 --> 00:10:21,308 l mean, how did they know? lt's not like it's in the school paper. 168 00:10:24,690 --> 00:10:26,851 Alan Bishop's column. 169 00:10:29,328 --> 00:10:32,388 ''The other day at the mall, l spied freshman Randy Taylor 170 00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:35,992 shaking in his boots. Senior Eric Zumbrum was threatening Taylor 171 00:10:36,068 --> 00:10:39,037 when he was saved by his little brother, name unknown.'' 172 00:10:40,806 --> 00:10:42,831 [laughing] 173 00:10:42,908 --> 00:10:46,400 Oh, man, Lauren's reading the article. 174 00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:48,344 So, what are you gonna do? 175 00:10:48,414 --> 00:10:50,245 [sighs] l don't know. 176 00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:53,012 l need a quiet place to reflect on the matter. 177 00:11:00,793 --> 00:11:03,557 ''And then like a simpering coward, 178 00:11:03,629 --> 00:11:07,588 Randy Taylor ran off with his tail between his legs.'' 179 00:11:08,901 --> 00:11:12,462 This is awful. l mean, half the school must be making fun of him. 180 00:11:12,571 --> 00:11:14,937 Half would be a conservative estimate. 181 00:11:17,143 --> 00:11:20,806 - Hi. - Well, honey, we saw the paper. 182 00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:23,849 There is nothing for you to be ashamed of. You did nothing wrong. 183 00:11:23,916 --> 00:11:25,679 Even if you are, you shouldn't be 184 00:11:25,785 --> 00:11:28,879 because there's no shame in being ashamed. 185 00:11:29,321 --> 00:11:31,016 [both] Huh? 186 00:11:32,324 --> 00:11:35,487 Look, guys, don't worry about it. You know, it's no big deal. 187 00:11:35,561 --> 00:11:38,052 l was upset at first, but l realized stuff happens. 188 00:11:38,130 --> 00:11:39,654 You just gotta move on. 189 00:11:39,732 --> 00:11:43,259 l can't believe you don't care that everybody thinks you're a wimp. 190 00:11:43,335 --> 00:11:47,066 He's not a wimp. You know, he just feels good enough about himself, 191 00:11:47,139 --> 00:11:49,107 he doesn't worry about what others think. 192 00:11:49,175 --> 00:11:54,044 That's right. l wish l were as mature as he was at that age. Or at this age. 193 00:11:56,215 --> 00:11:59,912 l'm really proud of you, Randy. Guys, can you go wash up for dinner? 194 00:12:02,054 --> 00:12:05,217 So you really aren't mad about Alan Bishop's column? 195 00:12:05,291 --> 00:12:08,522 Well, not anymore. You know, l met him after school 196 00:12:08,594 --> 00:12:11,324 and l told him l didn't care for his journalistic style. 197 00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:13,763 Then his nose started to bleed. 198 00:12:15,234 --> 00:12:16,201 Why? 199 00:12:16,302 --> 00:12:19,066 Because that's where my fist happened to land. 200 00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:22,033 All right! 201 00:12:23,209 --> 00:12:26,042 Oh, Al. l almost forgot. 202 00:12:26,112 --> 00:12:29,047 Got that autographed picture of The Beach Boys for your mom. 203 00:12:29,115 --> 00:12:32,881 Oh, wow! Thank you. She will be so appreciative. 204 00:12:32,952 --> 00:12:34,920 Uh... ''To Al's mom. 205 00:12:34,987 --> 00:12:39,014 Our biggest fan... by a wide margin.'' 206 00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:44,863 Did you tell them that my mother was weight-challenged? 207 00:12:46,999 --> 00:12:48,864 No. l just told them what to write. 208 00:12:48,934 --> 00:12:52,199 Well, l can't put this on her wall now! 209 00:12:52,271 --> 00:12:54,705 Well, put it on the floor. She'll never see it. 210 00:12:55,908 --> 00:12:58,035 Tim ''The Tool Man'' Taylor! Woo-hoo! 211 00:12:58,110 --> 00:13:00,670 - She's losing weight. - l know she's losing weight. 212 00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:02,475 l'm just joking about this... 213 00:13:02,548 --> 00:13:04,448 [both arguing] 214 00:13:11,323 --> 00:13:13,951 Hi, everybody. Hello, studio audience. 215 00:13:14,026 --> 00:13:16,551 Welcome to Tool Time. l am Tim ''The Tool Man'' Taylor. 216 00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:19,598 Of course, you all know my assistant, Al Borland. 217 00:13:19,665 --> 00:13:21,929 [crowd cheers] 218 00:13:22,001 --> 00:13:24,492 - We have a great show for you today. - That's right. 219 00:13:24,570 --> 00:13:27,869 We're gonna be showing you some tools being created down at Binford's 220 00:13:27,940 --> 00:13:30,067 research and development lab. 221 00:13:30,142 --> 00:13:36,103 By scientists who work around the clock, ignoring both time and personal hygiene. 222 00:13:36,182 --> 00:13:41,643 Let's give a warm Tool Time welcome to Binford's own A.J. Sanderson! 223 00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:43,483 [crowd cheers] 224 00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:45,817 A.J. 225 00:13:45,891 --> 00:13:48,655 You haven't been down here in a while. You're looking good. 226 00:13:48,727 --> 00:13:51,195 - That hygiene joke was a joke. - l know that, Tim. 227 00:13:51,263 --> 00:13:55,632 You know, the thing about us is we both have a great sense of humor. 228 00:13:58,537 --> 00:14:02,166 Now, you laugh, but l'm not kidding. 229 00:14:02,241 --> 00:14:05,608 A.J. has the best sense of humor of anyone down at R&D. l'll tell you that. 230 00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:08,044 What can l say? lt's a gift. 231 00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:14,710 All right. Why don't you show us a bit about these tools you're developing? 232 00:14:14,787 --> 00:14:19,486 There is nothing more cutting-edge than the new Binford air-powered scissors. 233 00:14:19,558 --> 00:14:20,525 [whirs] 234 00:14:20,626 --> 00:14:22,594 They operate on 80 PSl of compressed air 235 00:14:22,661 --> 00:14:25,892 which allows the blades to close with 70 pounds of force. 236 00:14:25,965 --> 00:14:29,332 Seventy pounds? That means you could cut through fiberglass. 237 00:14:29,401 --> 00:14:31,767 You can cut through carpeting. Even sheet metal. 238 00:14:31,837 --> 00:14:34,704 These'd be good. Next time you lose the keys to your lunch box, 239 00:14:34,773 --> 00:14:36,536 you won't have to bite through it. 240 00:14:38,210 --> 00:14:40,974 Also brand new is our laser tape measure, our laser levels 241 00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:47,041 and our combination laser shrimp de-veiner and nose-hair clipper. 242 00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:52,251 Nyah! 243 00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:56,259 You know, my mother's birthday is coming up soon. 244 00:15:01,500 --> 00:15:04,560 You guys are doing a lot with lasers. 245 00:15:04,637 --> 00:15:07,606 Any truth to the rumor about a laser toilet? 246 00:15:07,706 --> 00:15:10,470 We're keeping a tight lid on that one. 247 00:15:13,412 --> 00:15:16,939 But l can show you something that is still in the experimental stages. 248 00:15:17,016 --> 00:15:19,644 A high-powered laser tree pruner. 249 00:15:19,718 --> 00:15:22,243 Are you saying you can cut a tree limb with a laser beam? 250 00:15:22,321 --> 00:15:23,583 That's right. 251 00:15:23,656 --> 00:15:27,285 Adjustable. That's nice. l see you got a laser fixed up here. 252 00:15:27,359 --> 00:15:30,817 Now, how does it operate? l just point it to the tree limb and say ''timber?'' 253 00:15:30,896 --> 00:15:34,764 Press that button. You won't see the beam. Be careful where you aim it. 254 00:15:34,833 --> 00:15:37,996 - All right. So... - [fizzling] 255 00:15:48,047 --> 00:15:51,505 Hey, Lauren. l've been looking all over for you. 256 00:15:51,583 --> 00:15:53,710 So did you hear what l did to Alan Bishop? 257 00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:55,913 - Yeah, l heard. - Pretty cool, huh? 258 00:15:55,988 --> 00:15:59,219 Well, that depends on your definition of ''cool.'' 259 00:15:59,291 --> 00:16:02,226 Well, l guess l should have asked you this before, 260 00:16:02,294 --> 00:16:05,923 but what is your definition of ''cool?'' 261 00:16:05,998 --> 00:16:08,967 Well, it's not somebody who goes out and punches some guy 262 00:16:09,034 --> 00:16:10,661 just to prove how tough he is. 263 00:16:10,736 --> 00:16:12,829 Well, it wasn't really a punch. 264 00:16:12,905 --> 00:16:17,467 You know, l mean, it was more of a tap. A nudge, really. 265 00:16:17,576 --> 00:16:19,669 Randy, why would you do something like that? 266 00:16:19,745 --> 00:16:23,112 Well, l saw you and your friends reading the paper and laughing at me. 267 00:16:23,215 --> 00:16:25,683 l just didn't want you to think l was a wimp. 268 00:16:25,751 --> 00:16:28,515 Randy, we weren't laughing at Alan Bishop's stupid column. 269 00:16:28,587 --> 00:16:31,351 We were laughing at a funny line you wrote in our article. 270 00:16:31,457 --> 00:16:34,017 So then you never thought l was a wimp? 271 00:16:34,093 --> 00:16:37,529 No, but now l think you're a jerk. 272 00:16:47,773 --> 00:16:50,537 Wilson. Wilson! 273 00:16:50,642 --> 00:16:52,200 Hidy-ho, neighbor. 274 00:16:52,311 --> 00:16:55,940 Wilson, man, what a cool flute! You mind if l play it? 275 00:16:56,015 --> 00:17:00,111 No. l would appreciate it if you would keep your hands off my shakuhachi. 276 00:17:02,588 --> 00:17:06,422 Man, am l glad we only get together with you once a year! 277 00:17:10,262 --> 00:17:12,423 Got kind of mad at that Beach Boy, didn't you? 278 00:17:12,531 --> 00:17:14,158 [Wilson grumbles] 279 00:17:14,233 --> 00:17:16,758 Wilson, you gotta let this lyric thing go. 280 00:17:16,835 --> 00:17:20,066 Well, l just don't understand. Would it have been so horrible for them 281 00:17:20,139 --> 00:17:22,437 to have recorded one of my verses? 282 00:17:24,109 --> 00:17:25,770 Why is this so important to you? 283 00:17:25,844 --> 00:17:28,472 l just always thought l had a flair for writing. 284 00:17:28,547 --> 00:17:30,515 - You do. You wrote a book. - Yes, l did. 285 00:17:30,616 --> 00:17:33,517 The Psycho-Physiological Indices of Amorous Connections 286 00:17:33,652 --> 00:17:35,916 Among Termites of the Southwest. 287 00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:40,154 And it's a great book. l'm halfway through the title already. 288 00:17:41,193 --> 00:17:44,856 Well, Tim, my book sold four copies. 289 00:17:44,930 --> 00:17:48,366 Fun, Fun, Fun sold four million. 290 00:17:48,434 --> 00:17:52,461 Well, l think it's a fact of life people would rather have fun than termites. 291 00:17:53,405 --> 00:17:55,236 The two are not mutually exclusive. 292 00:17:55,307 --> 00:17:58,435 Hold on a second. Let me ask you a question here. 293 00:17:58,510 --> 00:18:01,411 What if one of your cousins had come to you with suggestions 294 00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:04,381 - about things to put in your book? - Well, don't be ridiculous. 295 00:18:04,450 --> 00:18:07,817 Why would l go to The Beach Boys for their views on entomology? 296 00:18:09,822 --> 00:18:13,883 Ahhh. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. 297 00:18:13,959 --> 00:18:17,986 And why would they come to me about writing surfer songs? 298 00:18:18,063 --> 00:18:21,726 [Tim] Uh, mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. 299 00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:23,165 lf l'm gonna write songs, 300 00:18:23,268 --> 00:18:26,237 l should just write about things l know... like termites. 301 00:18:26,338 --> 00:18:29,899 - There you go! - Mm-hm. Wood Vibrations. 302 00:18:31,343 --> 00:18:34,005 - Wood-n't It Be Nice. - [Wilson laughs] 303 00:18:34,079 --> 00:18:36,309 - Help Me, Rodent. - Ah. 304 00:18:45,991 --> 00:18:48,892 Hey, great news! l gave Wilson some advice. 305 00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:51,521 l think he may patch things up with The Beach Boys. 306 00:18:51,597 --> 00:18:54,122 Great. Maybe your advice could help me with Lauren. 307 00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:57,659 All right. Here it is. 308 00:18:57,736 --> 00:19:01,900 lf all you know is termites, don't go surfing in Kokomo. 309 00:19:06,044 --> 00:19:08,512 Perhaps that doesn't apply here. 310 00:19:09,481 --> 00:19:11,847 Well, what happened? 311 00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:16,944 Lauren's mad at me 'cause l punched out Alan Bishop. 312 00:19:17,055 --> 00:19:19,615 - You hit somebody? - Well, it didn't start out that way. 313 00:19:19,725 --> 00:19:22,694 - How did it start out? - l asked him to print a retraction. 314 00:19:22,794 --> 00:19:25,319 He started laughing and pushing me. l shoved him back. 315 00:19:25,397 --> 00:19:28,366 And the next thing l know, the kid's bleeding from his nose. 316 00:19:28,467 --> 00:19:31,334 You gave him a bloody nose? Well, l gotta call his parents now. 317 00:19:31,403 --> 00:19:34,372 No, Dad, come on! l already apologized. 318 00:19:34,473 --> 00:19:37,237 This isn't like you. You're smarter than this. Fights? 319 00:19:37,309 --> 00:19:39,174 - What's this all about? - Dad, l know. 320 00:19:39,244 --> 00:19:42,145 There were a bunch of kids around and l didn't want it to get back 321 00:19:42,214 --> 00:19:43,545 to Lauren that l was a wimp. 322 00:19:43,615 --> 00:19:46,641 Well, roughing up somebody is no way to impress a girl. 323 00:19:46,718 --> 00:19:48,811 lt didn't impress Lauren. 324 00:19:48,887 --> 00:19:51,321 Let's face it, Dad. l know nothing about women. 325 00:19:51,390 --> 00:19:53,756 Well, join the club. 326 00:19:55,427 --> 00:19:58,396 All l know about women is l've been ticking them off for years. 327 00:20:03,235 --> 00:20:06,136 Well, l didn't even get started with Lauren and now it's over. 328 00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:08,036 No, no, no, no, no, no. 329 00:20:08,106 --> 00:20:11,473 Another thing l know about women is that they'll give you another chance. 330 00:20:11,577 --> 00:20:13,943 Come on, your mom's given me 1 0,000. 331 00:20:15,147 --> 00:20:17,775 l know what l should do. l should go to Lauren and just beg. 332 00:20:17,849 --> 00:20:20,818 No! You're only 1 4 years old. 333 00:20:20,886 --> 00:20:23,912 lf you start begging now, you'll have nothing to look forward to. 334 00:20:28,126 --> 00:20:31,653 ''Real Men Don't Hit. By Randy Taylor. 335 00:20:31,730 --> 00:20:34,290 Real men don't hit. They roll with the punches.'' 336 00:20:34,366 --> 00:20:38,132 ''ln a moment of humiliation, l lashed out and struck my fellow man. 337 00:20:38,203 --> 00:20:41,832 But now l realize that violence is not the answer.'' 338 00:20:41,907 --> 00:20:45,070 This is great, Randy. She's gonna think you really mean this. 339 00:20:47,746 --> 00:20:50,681 - Dad, l do. - Even better. 340 00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:57,215 ''l learned the error of my ways from the wisdom of my father...'' 341 00:20:57,289 --> 00:20:59,154 Much better. 342 00:21:00,892 --> 00:21:05,261 ''...a man who's humiliated himself more than any human being on the planet.'' 343 00:21:09,768 --> 00:21:13,135 - Say cheese. - [all] Cheese. 344 00:21:13,639 --> 00:21:16,870 - [Wilson] All right. - Hi, Wilson. Hi, Beach Boys. 345 00:21:17,376 --> 00:21:19,105 [all] Hidy-ho. 346 00:21:19,177 --> 00:21:22,613 Um, guys, l hope you don't mind, but l was kinda thinking that... 347 00:21:22,681 --> 00:21:24,444 - Want us to sing a song? - Not just that. 348 00:21:24,549 --> 00:21:26,881 - l'd like to sing with you. - OK. So, you want to...? 349 00:21:26,952 --> 00:21:29,978 l'd like to pick the song. Barbara Ann? 350 00:21:30,055 --> 00:21:31,420 - Anything else? - Key of G. 351 00:21:31,523 --> 00:21:32,854 Oh. 352 00:21:32,924 --> 00:21:37,361 - [blows tuner] - OK. Ahem. 353 00:21:37,429 --> 00:21:40,296 # Ba ba ba ba Barbara Ann 354 00:21:40,365 --> 00:21:43,095 # Ba ba ba ba Barbara Ann 355 00:21:43,168 --> 00:21:46,103 # Ba ba ba ba Barbara Ann 356 00:21:46,171 --> 00:21:48,696 # Ba ba ba ba Barbara Ann 357 00:21:48,774 --> 00:21:51,538 # Ba ba ba ba Barbara Ann 358 00:21:51,643 --> 00:21:55,602 # You've got me rockin' and a-rollin' Rockin' and a-reelin', Barbara Ann 359 00:21:55,714 --> 00:21:57,841 # Ba ba ba ba Barbara Ann 360 00:21:57,916 --> 00:22:00,749 - # Went to a dance - # Went to a dance 361 00:22:00,819 --> 00:22:03,686 - # Looking for romance - # Looking for romance 362 00:22:03,755 --> 00:22:06,690 - # Saw Barbara Ann - # Saw Barbara Ann 363 00:22:06,758 --> 00:22:09,659 - # So I thought I'd take a chance - # So I thought I'd take a chance 364 00:22:09,728 --> 00:22:15,189 - # Barbara Ann - # Take my hand 365 00:22:15,267 --> 00:22:19,226 # You got me rockin' and a-rollin' Rockin' and a reelin', Barbara Ann 366 00:22:19,304 --> 00:22:22,865 # Ba ba ba ba Barbara Ann #