1 00:00:04,204 --> 00:00:06,968 [laughs] Yeah. So he goes, ''You should go out with me.'' 2 00:00:07,073 --> 00:00:09,439 So, then she goes, ''Go out with you?'' 3 00:00:09,542 --> 00:00:12,033 So, then l go, ''Yeah. You should go.'' 4 00:00:12,112 --> 00:00:14,580 And then l go, ''You're an idiot.'' 5 00:00:15,382 --> 00:00:17,942 - Come on. We need to use the phone. - [door opens] 6 00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,781 Well, guys, 7 00:00:19,886 --> 00:00:22,446 l just did my first oil change on the Healey. 8 00:00:22,522 --> 00:00:25,548 Congratulations. How'd you manage to stay so clean? 9 00:00:31,498 --> 00:00:34,023 She used me for a drop cloth. 10 00:00:34,634 --> 00:00:36,158 And a shop rag. 11 00:00:37,370 --> 00:00:39,861 Now l gotta change. l had better call Harry. 12 00:00:39,939 --> 00:00:42,373 l was supposed to be there five minutes ago. 13 00:00:42,442 --> 00:00:45,275 - Take a number. - No. Brittany's not Heather's friend. 14 00:00:45,345 --> 00:00:48,246 She's Ashley's friend. Heather hangs out with Courtney 15 00:00:48,314 --> 00:00:51,806 ever since they came to school wearing the same pair of earrings. 16 00:00:52,685 --> 00:00:54,778 l can't stand this. When l want the phone, 17 00:00:54,854 --> 00:00:58,221 one of my strapping young boys is clucking like a hen on the phone. 18 00:00:58,324 --> 00:00:59,985 [clucking] 19 00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:02,585 l think l have a solution. Brad, get off the phone. 20 00:01:02,662 --> 00:01:04,994 All right, yeah. l gotta go. Later. 21 00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:06,396 Mark, wait! 22 00:01:06,466 --> 00:01:09,026 None of you is using the phone until we work out 23 00:01:09,102 --> 00:01:11,969 a system of phone usage for you boys. 24 00:01:12,038 --> 00:01:14,666 - All right, listen up. - OK, it's very simple. 25 00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:17,710 Each of you will be allotted 45 minutes a day of phone time. 26 00:01:17,777 --> 00:01:20,905 You can't use it continuously unless nobody else is waiting. 27 00:01:20,980 --> 00:01:24,472 These rules don't apply during peak times, 9:00 to 5:00 on weekdays, 28 00:01:24,551 --> 00:01:26,712 all day on the weekend, and when we are home. 29 00:01:26,820 --> 00:01:30,756 Also, keep in mind, if you fail to use your daily allotment, 30 00:01:30,824 --> 00:01:33,952 you can't apply that to future phone usage. 31 00:01:34,027 --> 00:01:35,551 Does that sound fair, Tim? 32 00:01:35,628 --> 00:01:38,256 l lost you after ''it's all very simple.'' 33 00:01:41,568 --> 00:01:43,832 [theme song] 34 00:02:30,083 --> 00:02:31,983 [crowd cheers on TV] 35 00:02:32,051 --> 00:02:33,814 [repeating] Go! 36 00:02:34,387 --> 00:02:36,355 No! ldiot! 37 00:02:36,456 --> 00:02:37,753 [sighs] 38 00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:40,486 Delores! You want to get Tim another beer, please? 39 00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:43,495 l just got off work. l'm starving to death. 40 00:02:43,563 --> 00:02:47,693 And my feet are swelled up like a couple of bloated toads. 41 00:02:47,767 --> 00:02:50,395 ls that a ''yes'' or a ''no?'' 42 00:02:53,606 --> 00:02:56,097 - Hey, l'll get it. - Absolutely not. 43 00:02:56,676 --> 00:03:00,442 You're a guest in this house. You shouldn't have to get your own beer. 44 00:03:08,087 --> 00:03:12,456 But l'm so comfortable as a gosh-darn guest here, l prefer to get my own beer. 45 00:03:13,326 --> 00:03:15,089 Get me one, too? 46 00:03:17,363 --> 00:03:18,921 [knocking] 47 00:03:27,373 --> 00:03:29,637 Heck! Why don't l get it. 48 00:03:32,845 --> 00:03:34,904 - Hey, Dennis. - Hey, Tim. 49 00:03:34,981 --> 00:03:36,949 - Need a hand? - l got it. How you doing? 50 00:03:37,016 --> 00:03:39,849 lt's been a long time. Last time l saw you, you had the... 51 00:03:39,919 --> 00:03:41,284 lt's all healed, yeah. 52 00:03:41,387 --> 00:03:44,447 - Hey, Dad. Hi, Mom. - Hi, honey. 53 00:03:44,524 --> 00:03:47,288 lf you came by to watch hockey, it's not much of a game. 54 00:03:47,393 --> 00:03:49,884 The Wings are down by seven goals. 55 00:03:49,963 --> 00:03:53,490 Actually, l came in to hook the power supply up for the video phone. 56 00:03:53,566 --> 00:03:56,330 - Video phone? - Yeah. Dennis has one at his place. 57 00:03:56,402 --> 00:03:58,427 He also put one in at the hardware store. 58 00:03:58,504 --> 00:04:02,031 Yeah. Delores loves it. l call it ''Must-Nag TV.'' 59 00:04:04,143 --> 00:04:07,840 l work for a communications company that installs high-tech systems. 60 00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:11,213 Good company. Last time we talked, you were selling real estate. 61 00:04:11,284 --> 00:04:15,220 Yeah, he was. But then he was a salesman, then he was a bank teller, 62 00:04:15,288 --> 00:04:17,119 and then a waiter... 63 00:04:17,190 --> 00:04:20,717 Oh, and then he went into his human guinea pig period. 64 00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:24,461 But he's found a career he really loves, right? 65 00:04:24,564 --> 00:04:28,022 Yeah. lt's awesome. l mean, the technology's changing every day. 66 00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:30,865 - l read a lot... - And l'm smack dab in the middle of it! 67 00:04:30,970 --> 00:04:34,599 - Congratulations... - l get paid for it! lt's a cool job. 68 00:04:34,674 --> 00:04:37,006 Boy, you're perky, Dennis! 69 00:04:39,245 --> 00:04:41,713 Yeah. He takes after his mother. 70 00:04:42,081 --> 00:04:43,810 Shut up, Harry! 71 00:04:47,053 --> 00:04:49,487 Do you install those automated-home systems? 72 00:04:49,555 --> 00:04:53,924 l install those all the time. l can automate anything my customers want. 73 00:04:53,993 --> 00:04:57,895 Yeah? What if l wanted to flush my toilet from the car? 74 00:04:59,232 --> 00:05:02,793 Then you'd be a strange, strange man. 75 00:05:03,536 --> 00:05:05,629 You should have him automate your house. 76 00:05:05,705 --> 00:05:07,434 Hey! Don't start, Delores! 77 00:05:07,507 --> 00:05:10,032 Tim doesn't like to be pushed into buying things. 78 00:05:10,109 --> 00:05:12,373 Oh, yes, l do. 79 00:05:12,445 --> 00:05:15,937 l don't think l could talk Jill into it. We need is a second phone line. 80 00:05:16,015 --> 00:05:17,949 - l could put that in for you. - [sighs] 81 00:05:18,017 --> 00:05:19,917 l don't know, Tim. 82 00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:23,149 lt's not a good idea having your kid work for your friends. 83 00:05:23,256 --> 00:05:26,157 - That's what friends are for. - Think you can do it? 84 00:05:26,225 --> 00:05:29,854 Sure, while l'm there maybe l can sell you on one of these video phones. 85 00:05:29,929 --> 00:05:31,897 - Does this thing work? - Check it out. 86 00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:36,935 - l'll speed dial the hardware store. - Hello. Harry's Hardware. This is Al. 87 00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:44,274 You know, there's just some things you don't want to see. 88 00:05:45,545 --> 00:05:48,241 Just a second phone line. That's all, right? 89 00:05:48,314 --> 00:05:51,340 - Yeah. Just a second phone line. - All right. 90 00:05:51,417 --> 00:05:52,975 - As long as he's here... - No. 91 00:05:53,052 --> 00:05:54,883 - Can't we just try... - No. 92 00:05:54,954 --> 00:05:56,512 - Just think... - No! No! 93 00:05:56,622 --> 00:05:58,522 - Home automated system! - No! 94 00:05:59,726 --> 00:06:02,627 All right. l'll call and talk about a second phone line. 95 00:06:02,695 --> 00:06:05,664 - Just a second line. - But if we could just... 96 00:06:05,732 --> 00:06:07,495 No! Never! 97 00:06:12,538 --> 00:06:14,062 Mark's on the phone. 98 00:06:14,140 --> 00:06:16,904 What? He's been on the phone all day. 99 00:06:17,009 --> 00:06:18,977 l told him an hour ago no more calls. 100 00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:20,706 [sighs] 101 00:06:22,415 --> 00:06:25,384 Mark, did your mom tell you an hour ago to get off the phone? 102 00:06:25,451 --> 00:06:28,818 Yeah. Well, stop the girlie chitchat and get off the phone. 103 00:06:30,189 --> 00:06:33,283 Big news! Katie likes Trevor! 104 00:06:37,130 --> 00:06:40,031 Katie likes Trevor? l thought Katie liked Justin. 105 00:06:40,099 --> 00:06:42,590 And then Justin likes Chloe. 106 00:06:46,439 --> 00:06:48,532 You gotta let this go. 107 00:06:49,809 --> 00:06:53,267 Dad, don't you ever do that again! That was a really important call. 108 00:06:53,346 --> 00:06:56,975 - Who do you think you're talking to? - Not my friends, thanks to you! 109 00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:59,647 Mark, l told you 45 minutes was the limit. 110 00:06:59,719 --> 00:07:03,018 - You won't play by the rules? - lt's a stupid rule! 111 00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:05,956 Stupid rule? How about three days without phone calls? 112 00:07:06,025 --> 00:07:08,585 - Dad! That's a... - Argue with me, it'll be a week! 113 00:07:08,661 --> 00:07:11,027 [sighs] This bites! 114 00:07:11,097 --> 00:07:15,431 Oh, yeah? How about three weeks without a phone call? That'll... that'll ''bite!'' 115 00:07:18,771 --> 00:07:20,398 [sighs] 116 00:07:20,473 --> 00:07:23,237 Three weeks? Don't you think that's a little extreme? 117 00:07:23,309 --> 00:07:26,210 - What would you have done? - Given him a warning. 118 00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:29,646 You give me warnings all the time. Does it ever do any good? 119 00:07:30,850 --> 00:07:33,717 No. But l still have hope for the children. 120 00:07:36,622 --> 00:07:40,524 Whoever did your last wiring job really didn't know what he was doing. 121 00:07:44,330 --> 00:07:47,595 Well, that guy's not allowed to work around here anymore. 122 00:07:47,667 --> 00:07:52,036 lt's too bad. Now all l gotta do is run the fish tape upstairs, 123 00:07:52,104 --> 00:07:54,265 hook it to the new line and yank it through. 124 00:07:54,340 --> 00:07:56,706 Right. l can give you a hand if you want. 125 00:07:56,776 --> 00:07:59,870 You said ''that guy'' wasn't allowed to work here anymore. 126 00:08:01,714 --> 00:08:03,079 - [pager beeps] - Ooh. 127 00:08:03,549 --> 00:08:05,915 Um... oh, man! 128 00:08:05,985 --> 00:08:09,944 l got a customer that needs me. l want to get that job done right. l'm sorry. 129 00:08:10,022 --> 00:08:13,185 Think you'll be OK without a second line for a little while? 130 00:08:13,259 --> 00:08:15,750 - You still got the first line. - That'd be great. 131 00:08:15,828 --> 00:08:20,322 l haven't actually used the first line since Katie started dating Justin. 132 00:08:25,404 --> 00:08:28,373 This is ridiculous. Dennis has been gone for three hours. 133 00:08:28,441 --> 00:08:31,069 And Mom won't get off the phone. 134 00:08:31,143 --> 00:08:33,509 [sighs] Angela's probably married by now. 135 00:08:34,947 --> 00:08:38,576 By the time l get to use the phone, my friends'll be in a retirement home. 136 00:08:38,651 --> 00:08:40,619 [pretending to cry] 137 00:08:41,454 --> 00:08:44,890 Mark, quit exaggerating. You don't have any friends. 138 00:08:48,694 --> 00:08:50,662 Guys, listen up. 139 00:08:50,763 --> 00:08:54,597 l think l can pull that second line down by myself if you help me upstairs. 140 00:08:54,667 --> 00:08:57,397 l'll hook it on the tape, wrap it around, send it down. 141 00:08:57,470 --> 00:08:59,961 Use the intercom to talk. You distract Mom. 142 00:09:00,039 --> 00:09:03,497 Big arms, big gestures. Big hands! Big hands! Big hands! Big hands! 143 00:09:03,576 --> 00:09:04,702 Gotcha! 144 00:09:06,412 --> 00:09:08,880 [Tim whistles] 145 00:09:12,184 --> 00:09:14,744 Moving, moving... 146 00:09:14,854 --> 00:09:16,822 Get in there. 147 00:09:20,693 --> 00:09:23,184 Uh-oh. 148 00:09:23,996 --> 00:09:27,159 Not a word you want to hear in this house. 149 00:09:29,168 --> 00:09:33,298 - Brad. lt's hung up on something. - [Brad] I don't see anything. 150 00:09:33,372 --> 00:09:37,308 All right, l'm gonna pull it back out. We'll try it one more time. 151 00:09:41,981 --> 00:09:43,812 [whispers] Big arms. 152 00:09:50,957 --> 00:09:52,891 [Jill] The phone went dead. 153 00:09:56,128 --> 00:09:58,892 Oh, my God! What happened? 154 00:09:59,198 --> 00:10:02,463 Well, looks like Dad just yanked away all our phone privileges. 155 00:10:04,036 --> 00:10:06,504 Tim, why couldn't you wait till Dennis got here? 156 00:10:06,572 --> 00:10:10,633 l waited three hours! l can only wait so long having a hole in the wall! 157 00:10:10,710 --> 00:10:12,974 - [doorbell] - There's Dennis. He'll fix it. 158 00:10:13,045 --> 00:10:15,411 - l'll get some drywall patch. - [Harry] Hi. 159 00:10:15,514 --> 00:10:17,948 l just came to bring Dennis his lunch and say... 160 00:10:18,017 --> 00:10:20,986 What the hell happened? 161 00:10:21,053 --> 00:10:23,487 Tim tried to fix the phone. 162 00:10:24,357 --> 00:10:25,415 Where's Dennis? 163 00:10:25,491 --> 00:10:28,358 He was paged. He's been gone about three hours. So... 164 00:10:28,427 --> 00:10:31,988 - He left in the middle of the job? - Yeah. But Tim tried to finish it. 165 00:10:32,098 --> 00:10:34,658 -[knocking] - Hey, guys. 166 00:10:34,734 --> 00:10:38,067 Hey, Dad. Sorry l'm late. Whoa! What happened? 167 00:10:38,904 --> 00:10:41,202 That guy showed up. 168 00:10:43,275 --> 00:10:47,177 How could you leave my friend stranded for three hours? 169 00:10:47,246 --> 00:10:50,374 l got paged on another job. l guess l got a little overbooked. 170 00:10:50,449 --> 00:10:53,748 - He's here now. No big deal. - lt's a very big deal. 171 00:10:53,819 --> 00:10:57,084 You know you can't leave Tim alone with a hole in the wall. 172 00:10:58,357 --> 00:11:01,656 - Told you so. - Listen, l gotta get back to work. 173 00:11:01,727 --> 00:11:05,891 Yes, you do. And l'm gonna stay here to make sure you do it right this time. 174 00:11:05,965 --> 00:11:09,332 - You're gonna breathe down my neck? - You're damn right l am! 175 00:11:09,402 --> 00:11:12,963 - Guys, settle down, please? - Don't have to be so tough on him. 176 00:11:13,039 --> 00:11:15,200 Our walls always look like this. 177 00:11:16,609 --> 00:11:19,373 Dad, would you just trust me to do this by myself? 178 00:11:19,445 --> 00:11:21,811 l'd trust you to screw it up. 179 00:11:21,914 --> 00:11:25,816 - That's it. l'm out of here. - Fine. Run away. 180 00:11:25,951 --> 00:11:28,181 No, it's not fine. Don't run away, Dennis. 181 00:11:28,254 --> 00:11:31,018 l'm sorry. l'll send somebody out to finish the job. 182 00:11:31,123 --> 00:11:34,092 Make sure that somebody else knows what they're doing. 183 00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:36,185 Aw, the hell with it. 184 00:11:45,738 --> 00:11:47,035 [Brad] Dad? 185 00:11:47,106 --> 00:11:48,403 What? 186 00:11:48,474 --> 00:11:50,704 [Brad] What should I do? 187 00:11:51,343 --> 00:11:54,039 Take up the lost art of letter-writing. 188 00:12:04,256 --> 00:12:06,520 [floor creaks] 189 00:12:12,064 --> 00:12:14,157 Don't even think about it! 190 00:12:16,535 --> 00:12:19,629 l can't believe the way Harry went after Dennis. 191 00:12:19,705 --> 00:12:22,640 He just went after him because he cares about him. 192 00:12:22,708 --> 00:12:26,371 What do you think he'd be like if Harry didn't come down so hard on him? 193 00:12:26,445 --> 00:12:28,606 l don't know... happy? 194 00:12:28,714 --> 00:12:33,811 Happy? What would the world be like if everyone walked around ''happy?'' 195 00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:36,585 A happy world? 196 00:12:38,691 --> 00:12:41,216 lt's important for kids to be responsible. 197 00:12:41,293 --> 00:12:44,057 Dennis was three hours late. He screwed up. 198 00:12:44,163 --> 00:12:47,132 lt was Harry's job as a parent to straighten things out. 199 00:12:47,233 --> 00:12:49,758 Like you tried to straighten out Mark? 200 00:12:49,835 --> 00:12:51,860 What does that have to do with anything? 201 00:12:51,937 --> 00:12:54,770 You were pretty tough on him about the phone. 202 00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:57,070 Thanks to me, he's not talking on the phone. 203 00:12:57,143 --> 00:12:59,407 Thanks to you, nobody is. 204 00:12:59,478 --> 00:13:01,844 This isn't just about the phone, you know. 205 00:13:01,947 --> 00:13:05,383 You heard him come down with that attitude. l had to say something. 206 00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:09,410 As the kids get older, the problems and attitudes are just gonna get bigger. 207 00:13:09,488 --> 00:13:12,457 You have to pick your battles and be more sensitive. 208 00:13:12,558 --> 00:13:15,686 [sighs] You know, you probably are right, you know? 209 00:13:15,761 --> 00:13:17,922 Next time one of the boys smarts off to me, 210 00:13:18,030 --> 00:13:21,898 l'm gonna take him out for a nice little cup of tea. 211 00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:26,836 And while they're buttering their scones, 212 00:13:26,906 --> 00:13:29,739 l'll ask what punishment they would prefer. 213 00:13:30,176 --> 00:13:33,907 You won't laugh when you end up with a relationship like Dennis and Harry. 214 00:13:33,979 --> 00:13:36,413 l have a good relationship with the boys. 215 00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:39,918 l'm not gonna end up like Harry. l know what l'm doing around here. 216 00:13:50,596 --> 00:13:53,326 - Hey, Wilson. - [Wilson] Hidey-ho, neighbor. 217 00:13:53,399 --> 00:13:56,163 - [rattling] - What are you doing over there? 218 00:13:56,268 --> 00:14:00,432 Tim, are you familiar with the I Ching? 219 00:14:01,006 --> 00:14:03,975 Sure. The ''l Ching,'' the scratching, the chafing. 220 00:14:06,912 --> 00:14:10,075 That's why l switched to boxers, my friend. 221 00:14:10,149 --> 00:14:13,414 [Wilson laughs] Oh, my! No. 222 00:14:13,485 --> 00:14:16,545 Actually, the I Ching is the ancient book of Chinese wisdom. 223 00:14:16,622 --> 00:14:20,752 You ask a question about your life. And then you toss these coins. 224 00:14:21,660 --> 00:14:24,151 And you try to divine the answer from the book. 225 00:14:24,597 --> 00:14:27,430 - l've got a question for those coins. - Mmm. Shoot. 226 00:14:27,499 --> 00:14:30,434 You think l'm too tough on my kids? 227 00:14:30,502 --> 00:14:33,335 Might l inquire what brings that issue to the fence? 228 00:14:33,405 --> 00:14:36,033 ln a word? Jill. 229 00:14:38,277 --> 00:14:42,213 She says l should be more sensitive about how l discipline my kids. 230 00:14:42,281 --> 00:14:44,977 Well, it's true the way you talk to your children now 231 00:14:45,050 --> 00:14:47,951 can have a profound effect on your future relationship. 232 00:14:48,020 --> 00:14:51,581 l say some tough things, but not as tough as Harry says to his kid. 233 00:14:51,657 --> 00:14:54,956 Oh! Dennis tells me that Harry has quite a lexicon. 234 00:14:55,027 --> 00:14:57,393 Lexicon? No, he drives a Buick. 235 00:14:59,298 --> 00:15:01,926 You know, l ran into Dennis at the coffee shop today. 236 00:15:02,001 --> 00:15:05,300 And he was so angry at Harry, he told him that he was leaving town. 237 00:15:05,371 --> 00:15:08,431 What? Just because of what Harry said to him? 238 00:15:08,507 --> 00:15:11,340 Well, l guess so. You know, as Longfellow says, 239 00:15:11,410 --> 00:15:16,040 ''A torn jacket is soon mended. But hard words can bruise the heart of a child.'' 240 00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:20,241 You think l should have a talk with Harry? 241 00:15:20,319 --> 00:15:22,617 Well, let's see what the I Ching says. 242 00:15:23,989 --> 00:15:26,549 - (sighs) - [coins clattering] 243 00:15:26,625 --> 00:15:30,686 [repeating] Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 244 00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:34,824 Yes. lt says ''The situation is a microcosm juxtaposed against, 245 00:15:34,900 --> 00:15:37,801 and created by, the macrocosm of the universe.'' 246 00:15:37,870 --> 00:15:39,633 [Wilson sniffs] 247 00:15:40,472 --> 00:15:43,168 And there, my neighbor, you have your answer. 248 00:15:45,644 --> 00:15:47,271 Yup. 249 00:15:47,346 --> 00:15:49,507 Though l've forgotten the question. 250 00:15:56,021 --> 00:15:58,387 Hey, Mark. 251 00:15:58,490 --> 00:16:01,357 Mark, do me a favor. 252 00:16:01,427 --> 00:16:04,658 When Mom comes home, tell her l went to Harry's for a minute. 253 00:16:04,730 --> 00:16:06,493 Whatever you say. 254 00:16:09,101 --> 00:16:12,400 l know you're angry because l disciplined you over the phone. 255 00:16:12,471 --> 00:16:15,440 And because you embarrassed me. 256 00:16:16,208 --> 00:16:18,676 You know, l probably shouldn't have done that. 257 00:16:18,744 --> 00:16:21,645 But it gave you no right to talk to me the way you did. 258 00:16:21,714 --> 00:16:25,172 Yeah. You're right. l'm sorry. 259 00:16:25,250 --> 00:16:28,981 Feel like playing by the rules now? 260 00:16:29,221 --> 00:16:30,347 Yeah. 261 00:16:30,422 --> 00:16:33,118 You can use the phone as soon as it gets fixed. 262 00:16:33,192 --> 00:16:35,854 When will that be? 263 00:16:36,929 --> 00:16:40,262 Well, very soon. Provided l don't get anywhere near it. 264 00:16:44,436 --> 00:16:47,599 [Delores] My little sweetie. 265 00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:50,005 You can dust yourself. 266 00:16:50,609 --> 00:16:52,668 [doorbell] 267 00:16:52,745 --> 00:16:55,077 - Hi, Delores. - What do you want? 268 00:16:55,147 --> 00:16:57,775 Well, l heard about Dennis wanting to move away. 269 00:16:57,850 --> 00:17:00,011 And l came over to talk to Harry about it. 270 00:17:00,119 --> 00:17:01,484 Let me get this straight. 271 00:17:01,553 --> 00:17:04,522 You're taking it upon yourself to fix our family problems? 272 00:17:04,623 --> 00:17:06,955 Not if you're gonna yell at me. 273 00:17:07,993 --> 00:17:11,087 - Tim, you're a marvelous person. - No, no... 274 00:17:11,163 --> 00:17:14,929 Would you like a beer? Some cheese and crackers? Can l glaze you a ham? 275 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:17,901 - Oh... - l thought if they talked. lf they... 276 00:17:17,970 --> 00:17:20,200 Tim? 277 00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:24,939 - What are you doing here? - Certainly not what it looks like. 278 00:17:26,078 --> 00:17:29,013 He came over because he's a caring, loving human being 279 00:17:29,081 --> 00:17:31,811 who recognizes the importance of family unity. 280 00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:34,250 Are you drunk? 281 00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:36,514 l'm gonna leave you two alone. 282 00:17:36,588 --> 00:17:40,718 Now, try and open that thick skull of yours and listen to what he has to say. 283 00:17:40,793 --> 00:17:42,886 He's a lot smarter than he looks. 284 00:17:45,864 --> 00:17:47,593 l want to talk to you about Dennis. 285 00:17:47,666 --> 00:17:50,760 Look, nothing you can say could possibly change my mind. 286 00:17:50,836 --> 00:17:54,203 Well, how about some words of wisdom from 287 00:17:54,306 --> 00:17:57,275 Longfellow during his itching period? 288 00:17:57,810 --> 00:18:01,678 He said don't ''jucapose'' anything in a ''macroscope'' in this universe. 289 00:18:04,783 --> 00:18:06,546 Are you drunk? 290 00:18:08,020 --> 00:18:11,148 What l'm saying is your kid is about ready to leave your life. 291 00:18:11,223 --> 00:18:13,987 - ls that what you want? - lt doesn't matter what l want. 292 00:18:14,059 --> 00:18:18,553 lt never mattered what l want. l wanted him to go to college, he dropped out. 293 00:18:18,630 --> 00:18:22,566 Then l wanted him to learn the hardware business but he wasn't interested. 294 00:18:22,634 --> 00:18:25,398 Maybe the kid's just looking for a career of his own. 295 00:18:25,471 --> 00:18:28,338 You know, l think he's found one that he's good at. 296 00:18:28,407 --> 00:18:29,840 - Good at? - Yeah. 297 00:18:29,908 --> 00:18:31,876 He walked out in the middle of a job! 298 00:18:31,977 --> 00:18:36,414 l can't even begin to imagine leaving a customer waiting for three hours. 299 00:18:36,482 --> 00:18:38,643 - How about three weeks? - What? 300 00:18:38,750 --> 00:18:42,083 When you forgot to order that grinder for me, l did the job by hand. 301 00:18:42,154 --> 00:18:44,122 [sighs] One mistake. 302 00:18:44,223 --> 00:18:46,555 Well, the kid's allowed to make one mistake. 303 00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:49,992 His mistake is he's got too many customers. 304 00:18:50,062 --> 00:18:54,226 Too many customers. That means he must be doing something right. 305 00:18:54,333 --> 00:18:57,063 Yeah. He was always good with his hands. 306 00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:59,502 Why wouldn't he be? He takes after his old man. 307 00:18:59,571 --> 00:19:03,439 [grunts] Maybe l should give him another chance. 308 00:19:03,509 --> 00:19:05,477 You bet you should. Give the kid a call. 309 00:19:05,544 --> 00:19:09,173 How do l know he's not already on a plane halfway across the country? 310 00:19:09,248 --> 00:19:12,081 Because l've got him on hold. Pick up the video phone. 311 00:19:12,251 --> 00:19:15,414 [repeating] No. Tim, no. No, no, no. l don't want to talk to him. 312 00:19:15,521 --> 00:19:16,954 No, no, no, no... 313 00:19:17,022 --> 00:19:19,354 Hey, hey, Dennis. Hi. 314 00:19:19,424 --> 00:19:21,324 Hi. 315 00:19:22,261 --> 00:19:25,526 Look, l'm sorry l came down so hard on you. 316 00:19:26,899 --> 00:19:31,427 My screen's a little fuzzy. For a second there I thought you were my father. 317 00:19:31,503 --> 00:19:35,462 l mean it. Look, l don't want you moving away. 318 00:19:35,974 --> 00:19:38,340 lt would upset your mother... 319 00:19:38,443 --> 00:19:39,705 ...and... 320 00:19:39,778 --> 00:19:42,338 [laughs] ...it would upset me, too. 321 00:19:42,447 --> 00:19:45,348 And it would really upset me... 322 00:19:45,884 --> 00:19:48,011 ...because l got that big hole in my wall. 323 00:19:48,820 --> 00:19:53,655 You know what you need? A responsible professional to help you out. 324 00:19:53,725 --> 00:19:55,693 And l think l know just the guy. 325 00:19:55,794 --> 00:19:57,421 Thanks, Dad. 326 00:19:58,530 --> 00:20:00,862 Tool Man, l'm gonna glaze you that ham. 327 00:20:01,833 --> 00:20:03,596 Glaze away, baby. 328 00:20:09,675 --> 00:20:11,438 - Hi. - Welcome back to Tool Time. 329 00:20:11,543 --> 00:20:15,070 We're here with home communication expert, Dennis Turner. 330 00:20:19,251 --> 00:20:22,220 Today we're talking about the fully automated house. 331 00:20:22,287 --> 00:20:24,915 Heidi, let's show them our fully automated house. 332 00:20:24,990 --> 00:20:28,517 - Here you are, Tim. - [trumpets blaring] 333 00:20:28,594 --> 00:20:31,062 - Thank you, Heidi. - You're welcome. 334 00:20:31,129 --> 00:20:35,065 Actually, this is a mock-up of an automated house. 335 00:20:35,133 --> 00:20:39,297 Wow, now you tell me! l had half my stuff moved in there already. 336 00:20:39,371 --> 00:20:43,137 The home is controlled by a touch screen, hooked into a central computer. 337 00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:46,507 Right. The touch of your finger can turn on air conditioning, 338 00:20:46,578 --> 00:20:48,546 - your stereo... - Or your lights. 339 00:20:50,449 --> 00:20:53,384 - Red lights? - Oops, wrong district. 340 00:20:56,221 --> 00:20:58,781 Well, the great thing about an automated house 341 00:20:58,890 --> 00:21:01,415 is that you can customize it to your personality. 342 00:21:01,493 --> 00:21:03,461 This is like an automated doll house. 343 00:21:03,562 --> 00:21:07,020 Of course Al would have an automated dull house. 344 00:21:08,133 --> 00:21:10,897 What would be so great about your automated house? 345 00:21:10,969 --> 00:21:12,300 Yeah? l'll show you. 346 00:21:12,371 --> 00:21:15,431 ln my house, let's say l want my plants to have perfect sun. 347 00:21:15,507 --> 00:21:17,668 Press this plant icon, and my house rotates 348 00:21:17,776 --> 00:21:21,803 from a northern exposure to a beautiful sunny western exposure. 349 00:21:25,317 --> 00:21:28,286 Well, l wouldn't want to be living in a spinning house. 350 00:21:28,353 --> 00:21:30,787 Who invited ya? 351 00:21:31,356 --> 00:21:34,723 Here's a good one. lf your neighbors put on a two-story addition. 352 00:21:34,826 --> 00:21:37,989 You can't even see the stockyards anymore. Press this. 353 00:21:38,063 --> 00:21:40,429 And your house rises to the occasion. 354 00:21:42,634 --> 00:21:46,297 ''When you get the paper, honey, watch that first step. lt's a mean one.'' 355 00:21:47,306 --> 00:21:51,265 This feature is also good for keeping away pesky door-to-door salesmen. 356 00:21:51,376 --> 00:21:53,071 [laughs] 357 00:21:55,414 --> 00:21:57,882 And speaking of keeping people away from you... 358 00:21:57,949 --> 00:22:02,249 ...when the mother-in-law comes, perfect opportunity to use the automated house. 359 00:22:02,321 --> 00:22:04,482 She's not getting in here. No way.