1 00:00:01,454 --> 00:00:04,657 This will be my most exciting lighting display ever. 2 00:00:04,758 --> 00:00:08,460 The guys at the power plant will be working overtime for this bad boy, huh? 3 00:00:08,561 --> 00:00:12,031 You might want to read this flyer. I found it in the mailbox. 4 00:00:12,132 --> 00:00:15,267 It's from the lighting contest committee. 5 00:00:15,368 --> 00:00:18,404 "because certain rooftop displays have exceeded the bounds 6 00:00:18,505 --> 00:00:21,974 Of prudent energy consumption and good taste, 7 00:00:22,075 --> 00:00:26,345 This year's lighting contest will be strictly regulated." 8 00:00:26,446 --> 00:00:28,414 They're pulling the plug on you, dad. 9 00:00:28,515 --> 00:00:30,749 What makes you think this has to do with me? 10 00:00:30,851 --> 00:00:35,554 It says right here, "to be referred to, henceforth, as the tim taylor clause". 11 00:00:38,158 --> 00:00:41,460 This is bunk. This is bunk. Come on! 12 00:00:41,561 --> 00:00:43,929 "electricity is limited to two 20-amp breakers." 13 00:00:44,030 --> 00:00:46,766 Who can work with that? "no bulbs over 25 watts." 14 00:00:46,867 --> 00:00:48,734 Ha, ha! 15 00:00:48,835 --> 00:00:51,069 "maximum height of elves, three feet." 16 00:00:51,170 --> 00:00:53,472 What kind of elf is three foot tall? 17 00:00:55,041 --> 00:00:56,509 This one's gonna kill you. 18 00:00:56,610 --> 00:01:00,813 "nativity scenes may include only characters mentioned in the bible." 19 00:01:02,148 --> 00:01:04,816 Which means no more three stooges. 20 00:01:06,853 --> 00:01:08,687 Those were the three wise men. 21 00:01:08,788 --> 00:01:11,790 Really? Then why were they poking each other in the eye? 22 00:01:11,891 --> 00:01:14,993 To break up the trip. 23 00:02:11,451 --> 00:02:13,018 What is that smell? 24 00:02:13,119 --> 00:02:15,153 I'm making us a special christmas cake. 25 00:02:15,254 --> 00:02:19,725 It's really cool. It's got pineapple and mangoes and papaya. 26 00:02:19,826 --> 00:02:22,361 It's a fruitcake. Everybody hates fruitcake. 27 00:02:22,462 --> 00:02:27,199 I know that. This is not a fruitcake. This is a christmas cake with fruit. 28 00:02:29,502 --> 00:02:31,870 "cake with fruit." reverse that. 29 00:02:31,972 --> 00:02:34,507 - "fruitcake." - don't take it out on me 30 00:02:34,608 --> 00:02:38,643 Just 'cause the neighborhood put the kibosh on your lighting display. 31 00:02:38,744 --> 00:02:43,081 You say "ki-bosh," I say "pish-tosh". 32 00:02:44,384 --> 00:02:47,153 - I got wilson to be my partner. - To help you do the roof? 33 00:02:47,254 --> 00:02:49,688 No, no. He's gonna give me two 20-amp circuits. 34 00:02:49,789 --> 00:02:53,192 He's not decorating his roof. I get his allotment of electricity. 35 00:02:53,293 --> 00:02:54,493 I get more wattage. 36 00:02:54,594 --> 00:02:58,197 It means I can make elves the size of shaquille o'neal. 37 00:02:58,298 --> 00:03:02,735 I can't believe wilson would go along with this after reading that flyer. 38 00:03:02,836 --> 00:03:04,369 I'm not sure he read it. 39 00:03:06,172 --> 00:03:07,906 Where are the boys? I need help. 40 00:03:08,008 --> 00:03:09,708 Picking up mom from the airport. 41 00:03:09,809 --> 00:03:14,746 Listen, um... When she gets here I want you to be extra nice to her. 42 00:03:14,847 --> 00:03:19,084 Oh. Now you tell me. I just short-sheeted her bed. 43 00:03:19,185 --> 00:03:23,155 No. You know, I want this to be a really great holiday for her. 44 00:03:23,290 --> 00:03:26,759 It's the first one since dad died, and she's bound to be depressed. 45 00:03:26,860 --> 00:03:30,963 If anything will lift her spirits, it will be the new lighting display. 46 00:03:31,064 --> 00:03:33,566 Guess who's bearing frankincense this year? 47 00:03:38,905 --> 00:03:40,873 Come here. I want you to see this. 48 00:03:40,974 --> 00:03:42,441 Look. 49 00:03:43,343 --> 00:03:44,410 - Wow. - Yeah. 50 00:03:44,511 --> 00:03:46,345 It's your mom and dad at their wedding. 51 00:03:46,446 --> 00:03:49,514 I found it in her house after the funeral, so I had it restored. 52 00:03:49,616 --> 00:03:51,817 I'm gonna give it to her for christmas. 53 00:03:51,918 --> 00:03:53,853 They did a nice job restoring this. 54 00:03:53,954 --> 00:03:57,256 They were able to airbrush a smile over your dad's scowl. 55 00:03:57,357 --> 00:03:59,258 No, that's a real smile. 56 00:03:59,359 --> 00:04:01,627 You said he never smiled at their wedding. 57 00:04:01,728 --> 00:04:03,996 No, he never smiled at our wedding. 58 00:04:07,734 --> 00:04:11,604 - Oh, tim! Merry christmas! - Merry christmas, lillian. How are you? 59 00:04:11,705 --> 00:04:13,572 - It's good to see you. - Hi, mom. 60 00:04:13,673 --> 00:04:15,441 - Hello, baby. - Can I take your coat? 61 00:04:15,542 --> 00:04:18,711 - It's so good to see you. - Merry christmas. I love your hair. 62 00:04:18,812 --> 00:04:20,746 - You look gorgeous. - It's so cute. 63 00:04:20,847 --> 00:04:23,449 How was the trip back with brad from the airport? 64 00:04:23,550 --> 00:04:26,786 It was a lot less scary than when I ride with tim. 65 00:04:28,487 --> 00:04:31,623 I never knew detroit had stop signs. 66 00:04:31,825 --> 00:04:34,493 Roundish red things. Yeah, I've seen them. 67 00:04:36,896 --> 00:04:40,232 Oh, jill, the tree looks beautiful. 68 00:04:40,333 --> 00:04:41,800 Yes, it does, doesn't it? 69 00:04:41,902 --> 00:04:45,538 Well, except for this spark plug here. 70 00:04:47,507 --> 00:04:53,078 That's right. Every year tim sneaks auto parts onto the tree. 71 00:04:53,179 --> 00:04:55,614 And on easter we have a muffler hunt. 72 00:04:57,250 --> 00:05:01,486 Mom, there's a present that I want you to open while we're alone. 73 00:05:01,587 --> 00:05:03,822 Oh, no, no. It's not christmas yet. 74 00:05:03,923 --> 00:05:05,657 No, this one's kind of personal. 75 00:05:05,758 --> 00:05:09,261 I want you to open it while there's not a lot of other people around. 76 00:05:09,362 --> 00:05:13,699 Speaking of having other people around, there's something I need to ask you. 77 00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:17,937 Would you mind if I invited a friend to join us for christmas? 78 00:05:18,038 --> 00:05:20,872 - Oh, a friend! - He's really very nice. 79 00:05:21,775 --> 00:05:22,941 He. 80 00:05:23,042 --> 00:05:26,945 His name is parker and he's an engineer. 81 00:05:27,046 --> 00:05:30,716 He's going to be visiting people in detroit during the holidays. 82 00:05:30,817 --> 00:05:32,384 Is... Uh... Mom? 83 00:05:32,485 --> 00:05:35,954 What are you saying? You're seeing someone? Like dating? 84 00:05:36,055 --> 00:05:38,624 [chuckling] I guess that's what you would call it. 85 00:05:38,725 --> 00:05:41,426 We've been going out together for a couple of months. 86 00:05:41,528 --> 00:05:43,529 I really like him. 87 00:05:43,630 --> 00:05:47,399 - Would it be all right if he joined us? - Sure. It's fine, it's great. 88 00:05:47,501 --> 00:05:50,269 Whatever's gonna make your christmas good for you. 89 00:05:50,370 --> 00:05:53,739 I can't tell you how happy that makes me. I was nervous to tell you. 90 00:05:53,840 --> 00:05:56,942 Oh! Well, now you've told me and now I know. 91 00:05:57,043 --> 00:05:59,778 So, there's nothing for anybody to be nervous about. 92 00:05:59,880 --> 00:06:01,547 Let me show you his picture. 93 00:06:01,648 --> 00:06:05,117 I brought a picture along with me for you to see. 94 00:06:05,819 --> 00:06:07,252 Here it is. 95 00:06:09,789 --> 00:06:13,292 He has a duck tail and you're wearing a poodle skirt. 96 00:06:13,393 --> 00:06:15,894 Yes, it... It was fifties night 97 00:06:15,995 --> 00:06:18,496 At karaoke pete's tandoori kitchen. 98 00:06:18,597 --> 00:06:19,798 Oh! 99 00:06:19,899 --> 00:06:23,635 Parker does a mean blue suede shoes. 100 00:06:23,736 --> 00:06:26,438 Yeah, I... I see he's wearing some. 101 00:06:26,539 --> 00:06:28,340 He's... He's just a wild man. 102 00:06:28,441 --> 00:06:30,075 [chuckling] 103 00:06:30,176 --> 00:06:32,644 Now, how about that christmas present? 104 00:06:34,046 --> 00:06:37,983 Oh. You know, now that I look at this, this isn't the right one. 105 00:06:38,184 --> 00:06:41,019 I'm gonna have to look for it and give it to you later. 106 00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:44,590 All right. I'm going to call parker and tell him that he's invited. 107 00:06:44,691 --> 00:06:47,826 - I can't wait for you to meet him. - Me, too. 108 00:06:47,927 --> 00:06:49,962 [door opening] 109 00:06:50,063 --> 00:06:51,597 - [door closing] - look at this. 110 00:06:51,697 --> 00:06:53,732 A partridge in a pear tree. 111 00:07:03,676 --> 00:07:05,410 Tim. 112 00:07:08,581 --> 00:07:10,749 Mom just told me that she's... 113 00:07:10,850 --> 00:07:13,351 ...Bringing a date for christmas. 114 00:07:13,452 --> 00:07:17,656 Why doesn't she bring a whole box? You can put them in your "christmas cake." 115 00:07:17,757 --> 00:07:19,324 No. Come here. 116 00:07:19,425 --> 00:07:23,261 His name is parker. She's been seeing him for a couple of months. 117 00:07:23,362 --> 00:07:24,563 [quietly] wow. 118 00:07:24,664 --> 00:07:27,632 That's, uh, kind of soon. I mean... 119 00:07:27,733 --> 00:07:31,202 - How do you feel about that? - Well, I was in shock. 120 00:07:31,303 --> 00:07:34,706 I mean, I'm starting to give her this photo of her and dad, 121 00:07:34,807 --> 00:07:37,208 Then she starts talking about this other man. 122 00:07:37,309 --> 00:07:40,646 I didn't feel I could give it to her. Do you think I'm overreacting? 123 00:07:40,747 --> 00:07:43,082 No. I think you're taking this very well. 124 00:07:43,182 --> 00:07:48,087 My mom waited 30 years to start dating and I still think it's too soon. 125 00:07:48,188 --> 00:07:51,489 It's obviously a little awkward for me, but it's not about me. 126 00:07:51,591 --> 00:07:55,628 So I'm gonna be supportive and when parker gets here we'll be hospitable. 127 00:07:55,729 --> 00:07:58,797 It'll be easier for me. He's not shacking up with my mom. 128 00:08:04,804 --> 00:08:07,238 Whatever I can do to help. 129 00:08:09,308 --> 00:08:11,042 See, parker, here's my problem. 130 00:08:11,144 --> 00:08:15,414 Even with... Even with wilson's allotment of electricity, 131 00:08:15,515 --> 00:08:18,717 I still can't get these mechanical things to work properly. 132 00:08:18,818 --> 00:08:22,321 If I'm reading this right, this doesn't say anything about voltage. 133 00:08:22,422 --> 00:08:25,590 - [grunting] huh? - You can use a 220 volt line for your appliances 134 00:08:25,691 --> 00:08:27,626 Instead of the standard 110. 135 00:08:27,727 --> 00:08:30,862 It takes the same 20-amp breaker, but doubles your power. 136 00:08:30,997 --> 00:08:35,134 [grunting] yeah. Double your power, double your fun. Oh, oh, oh! 137 00:08:35,235 --> 00:08:36,568 Let's go to the garage. 138 00:08:40,206 --> 00:08:42,941 Would you like to know where parker and I met? 139 00:08:43,043 --> 00:08:45,210 Uh-huh. Ok. 140 00:08:45,311 --> 00:08:48,447 In the frozen vegetable section of the supermarket. 141 00:08:50,417 --> 00:08:53,852 Nothing says romance like a bag of frozen succotash. 142 00:08:55,688 --> 00:08:58,390 We chatted a little more in paper goods, 143 00:08:58,491 --> 00:09:02,193 And ended up exchanging life stories in pet food. 144 00:09:02,294 --> 00:09:06,097 By the time you got to checkout, you were an item? 145 00:09:06,198 --> 00:09:07,899 It didn't go quite like that. 146 00:09:09,068 --> 00:09:11,770 You want to know what we did on our first date? 147 00:09:12,271 --> 00:09:13,838 Yeah, sure. 148 00:09:15,841 --> 00:09:18,377 Parker took me dancing. 149 00:09:18,478 --> 00:09:21,647 - I thought you hated dancing. - No! 150 00:09:21,748 --> 00:09:24,917 Well, it was your father who didn't care for it. 151 00:09:26,052 --> 00:09:28,453 Do you and parker go dancing a lot? 152 00:09:28,554 --> 00:09:30,122 Every Saturday night. 153 00:09:30,223 --> 00:09:35,260 A couple of weeks ago he took me to a square dance festival in austin. 154 00:09:35,361 --> 00:09:36,928 You drove up for the day? 155 00:09:37,029 --> 00:09:40,031 Well, actually we made a weekend of it. 156 00:09:42,902 --> 00:09:45,137 It's a great idea. I'll run a line from the garage. 157 00:09:45,238 --> 00:09:49,174 Parker figured out how to get more electricity and not break the rules. 158 00:09:49,275 --> 00:09:52,377 - This guy's sneaky. I like him. - You're pretty sneaky yourself. 159 00:09:52,479 --> 00:09:55,347 You figured out how to use a motor from your dryer. 160 00:09:59,552 --> 00:10:01,086 You're taking apart our dryer? 161 00:10:01,187 --> 00:10:03,355 I'm taking apart the dryer for you. 162 00:10:05,191 --> 00:10:06,592 It's for the holidays. 163 00:10:06,693 --> 00:10:09,694 You won't have to do laundry until way into the new year. 164 00:10:09,795 --> 00:10:12,497 Guess what, tim asked me to come to tool time. 165 00:10:12,598 --> 00:10:14,165 [lillian] oh, that's wonderful. 166 00:10:14,266 --> 00:10:19,004 Just remember, if tim uses words like "tweaked" and "souped up" and "uh-oh," 167 00:10:19,105 --> 00:10:21,606 You run like hell. 168 00:10:21,707 --> 00:10:24,810 If we're gonna make the johnsons' for dinner we better go. 169 00:10:24,911 --> 00:10:28,913 Oh, they're parker's oldest friends in the world. 170 00:10:29,015 --> 00:10:30,849 I'm a little nervous about meeting them. 171 00:10:30,950 --> 00:10:33,018 - They're gonna love you. - Oh. 172 00:10:33,119 --> 00:10:37,122 - How could they not? - Wait. What time are you gonna be home? 173 00:10:37,223 --> 00:10:40,859 You don't have to wait up, honey. I have my keys. 174 00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:43,594 - See you later. Have fun. - [lillian] bye. 175 00:10:45,998 --> 00:10:47,866 Parker's a great guy. 176 00:10:47,967 --> 00:10:51,803 Hey, how would you feel about him becoming part of the family? 177 00:11:03,883 --> 00:11:05,784 You throw pretty good for a girl. 178 00:11:10,256 --> 00:11:12,624 What do you got against keith partridge? 179 00:11:12,725 --> 00:11:14,760 He's not dating your mother. 180 00:11:16,328 --> 00:11:19,731 I just... I can't believe the way that she's acting! 181 00:11:19,832 --> 00:11:21,900 It's like dad never even existed. 182 00:11:22,001 --> 00:11:25,904 And the way she goes on and on about her tawdry square dancing weekend. 183 00:11:26,005 --> 00:11:28,307 Come on, it's just square dancing, honey. 184 00:11:28,408 --> 00:11:31,877 I could just see the two of them, do-si-do-ing around naked. 185 00:11:40,153 --> 00:11:43,722 It gives new meaning to the words, "grab your partner". 186 00:11:45,458 --> 00:11:49,461 And you! You! You! You're going out of your way to be chummy with him! 187 00:11:49,562 --> 00:11:53,498 I'm being hospitable because you, you, you asked me to! 188 00:11:53,599 --> 00:11:55,967 You asked him to come to tool time. 189 00:11:56,068 --> 00:11:58,737 You never asked my father to come to tool time. 190 00:11:58,838 --> 00:12:01,105 Your father hated tool time. 191 00:12:01,206 --> 00:12:04,943 He'd never go. He said, "I'd rather watch a test pattern." 192 00:12:05,044 --> 00:12:09,114 How come you never took my father's suggestions about the christmas lights? 193 00:12:09,215 --> 00:12:12,684 Jill, your father never gave me suggestions. He gave me orders. 194 00:12:12,785 --> 00:12:14,586 Ok, yeah, he was gruff. 195 00:12:14,687 --> 00:12:17,989 He was a very difficult person, but that doesn't make this any easier. 196 00:12:18,091 --> 00:12:22,194 It seems like mom's happier with parker than she ever was with dad. 197 00:12:22,295 --> 00:12:24,930 That's not the case. It's because it's a new relationship. 198 00:12:25,031 --> 00:12:27,966 I've got to talk to mom about this thing, the way I feel. 199 00:12:28,067 --> 00:12:31,069 - No, no, don't. - Why not? 200 00:12:31,170 --> 00:12:34,706 It's christmastime. It's no time to tell people how you feel. 201 00:12:40,179 --> 00:12:42,480 Does everybody know what time it is? 202 00:12:42,581 --> 00:12:44,216 - Tool time! - That's right. 203 00:12:44,317 --> 00:12:48,086 Binford tools is proud to present tim "the tool man" taylor. 204 00:12:48,187 --> 00:12:50,655 [audience cheering, applauding] 205 00:12:51,757 --> 00:12:53,258 Thank you. 206 00:12:53,359 --> 00:12:56,395 Wow, what a good audience. Good for you. Thank you, heidi. 207 00:12:56,495 --> 00:12:58,163 Welcome to tool time. 208 00:12:58,264 --> 00:13:01,300 I am tim "the yule man" taylor. 209 00:13:02,802 --> 00:13:05,370 Of course, you all know my assistant, al borland. 210 00:13:05,471 --> 00:13:08,307 - [cheering] - thank you. 211 00:13:08,408 --> 00:13:11,410 Well, it's almost christmas, and christmas is a time... 212 00:13:11,510 --> 00:13:12,644 [both] ...For giving. 213 00:13:12,745 --> 00:13:14,913 Right. And for you last-minute shoppers, 214 00:13:15,014 --> 00:13:18,350 The "tool man" here's got a selection of last-minute gift ideas. 215 00:13:18,451 --> 00:13:22,287 And to start us off, we have the binford 6100 sleep enhancer. 216 00:13:22,388 --> 00:13:24,823 It's for you guys who can't drift off to sleep. 217 00:13:24,924 --> 00:13:27,993 It produces sounds to help you deep, deep sleep. 218 00:13:28,094 --> 00:13:30,595 We have "primeval forest," "babbling brook"... 219 00:13:30,696 --> 00:13:32,630 Boring. Boring. I like this one. 220 00:13:32,731 --> 00:13:35,900 [racecar engines running] 221 00:13:36,002 --> 00:13:38,270 Ahh. 222 00:13:38,371 --> 00:13:42,307 Indy cars going 220 miles an hour. [snoring] 223 00:13:44,376 --> 00:13:45,944 All right. What do we have next? 224 00:13:46,045 --> 00:13:48,447 I have a big surprise. I'll be right back. 225 00:13:48,548 --> 00:13:53,051 In the meantime, why don't we look at some stocking stuffers from binford? 226 00:13:53,152 --> 00:13:57,356 This year, say "merry christmas" with how-to videos starring tim and al. 227 00:13:57,457 --> 00:14:02,293 Right. Show your loved ones how to get rid of that annoying hum from lights 228 00:14:02,395 --> 00:14:05,229 In silence of the lamps. 229 00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:11,970 And learn when to use nails instead of adhesives in glueless. 230 00:14:13,439 --> 00:14:16,842 And my personal favorite, the nutty compressor. 231 00:14:19,845 --> 00:14:22,013 They loved this one in France. 232 00:14:22,915 --> 00:14:24,983 And tim has one more gift to show us. 233 00:14:25,084 --> 00:14:27,085 He said it was a red wagon. 234 00:14:27,186 --> 00:14:30,022 What would a grown man want with a little red wagon? 235 00:14:30,123 --> 00:14:31,823 [engine revving] 236 00:14:47,606 --> 00:14:49,040 Oh, boy. 237 00:14:50,509 --> 00:14:52,410 Wilson, what are you doing? 238 00:14:52,511 --> 00:14:55,013 Well, I'm trying to black out my windows 239 00:14:55,114 --> 00:14:57,115 So I can finally get some sleep. 240 00:14:57,216 --> 00:15:01,152 - Insomnia? - No, no, no. "timsomnia." 241 00:15:01,253 --> 00:15:03,788 - [chuckling] - [tim] here they go! 242 00:15:03,889 --> 00:15:05,456 [electrical buzzing] 243 00:15:10,062 --> 00:15:12,864 Do not look directly into the jesus. 244 00:15:16,235 --> 00:15:18,470 Oh. I brought you a present. 245 00:15:18,571 --> 00:15:20,338 Oh, my goodness. 246 00:15:20,439 --> 00:15:22,941 Oh, boy, that's heavy. 247 00:15:24,143 --> 00:15:26,277 Jill, is it fruitcake? 248 00:15:26,378 --> 00:15:29,514 No, it's not a fruitcake! It's a christmas cake. 249 00:15:29,615 --> 00:15:31,783 It's made with mangoes and papayas and... 250 00:15:31,884 --> 00:15:35,587 Oh, hell, it's a fruitcake! Fruitcake! Fruitcake! Fruitcake! 251 00:15:35,688 --> 00:15:37,789 [sighs] 252 00:15:37,890 --> 00:15:40,459 I'm sorry, I'm just upset about this whole thing 253 00:15:40,559 --> 00:15:42,794 With my mother and her new boyfriend. 254 00:15:42,895 --> 00:15:44,929 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 255 00:15:45,031 --> 00:15:48,233 Tim says I should wait till after the holidays to talk to her, 256 00:15:48,334 --> 00:15:52,504 But I'm acting so crazy. I'm throwing baked goods at keith partridge. 257 00:15:53,973 --> 00:15:55,740 I don't know. What do you think? 258 00:15:55,841 --> 00:15:57,708 Well, he's no greg brady, but... 259 00:15:57,810 --> 00:16:00,078 No! 260 00:16:00,179 --> 00:16:03,348 I mean, what do you think about whether I should talk to her. 261 00:16:03,449 --> 00:16:05,483 Well, I agree with the poet william blake, 262 00:16:05,584 --> 00:16:08,019 Who said, "I was angry with my friend 263 00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:12,057 I told my wrath my wrath did end". 264 00:16:12,158 --> 00:16:14,759 Yeah, but if I talk to her it could ruin her christmas. 265 00:16:14,860 --> 00:16:17,395 If you don't, it could ruin everybody else's. 266 00:16:17,629 --> 00:16:19,931 Wilson, I want to show you santa's sleigh. 267 00:16:20,032 --> 00:16:21,833 - Not now. - It'll take a minute. 268 00:16:21,934 --> 00:16:24,236 - Just a couple minutes. - I want to show you. 269 00:16:24,337 --> 00:16:26,471 What if I say the wrong thing and she gets hurt? 270 00:16:26,572 --> 00:16:30,975 Well, she won't if you just express yourself in a sensitive and tactful way. 271 00:16:31,076 --> 00:16:32,944 [electrical buzzing] 272 00:16:38,451 --> 00:16:42,053 Tim, will you keep your freakin' santa out of my yard?! 273 00:16:51,030 --> 00:16:52,763 Merry christmas, honey. 274 00:16:52,865 --> 00:16:54,532 Oh, merry christmas, mom. 275 00:16:54,633 --> 00:16:58,203 I told parker to come over around 9:00 if that's not too early. 276 00:16:58,971 --> 00:17:01,672 Fine. 277 00:17:01,773 --> 00:17:06,311 Jill, are you feeling ok? You seemed a little quiet last night. 278 00:17:06,412 --> 00:17:09,714 Mom, I have to talk to you about something. Um... 279 00:17:09,815 --> 00:17:13,151 I hope that you don't hate me for saying this, but 280 00:17:13,252 --> 00:17:16,254 I am uncomfortable with you dating. 281 00:17:17,456 --> 00:17:18,990 Oh, I see. 282 00:17:19,091 --> 00:17:22,193 It doesn't have anything to do with parker. It's just... 283 00:17:22,294 --> 00:17:24,262 ...So soon after dad's death. 284 00:17:24,363 --> 00:17:26,531 Well, it seemed soon to me, too. 285 00:17:26,632 --> 00:17:30,935 That's why when parker first asked me out in the grocery store, I said no. 286 00:17:31,036 --> 00:17:34,739 I thought it would be disrespectful to the memory of your father. 287 00:17:34,840 --> 00:17:38,309 So, you waited till you got to the parking lot? 288 00:17:40,946 --> 00:17:44,081 For your information, I turned parker down for weeks. 289 00:17:44,182 --> 00:17:46,785 I spent a lot of sleepless nights feeling guilty 290 00:17:46,886 --> 00:17:49,421 For even considering going out with him. 291 00:17:49,522 --> 00:17:51,089 Mom, that's what you should feel! 292 00:17:51,190 --> 00:17:53,558 I mean, you were married to dad for 50 years! 293 00:17:53,659 --> 00:17:55,360 It was 51 years. 294 00:17:55,461 --> 00:17:58,896 And seven months. I don't need you to tell me how I should feel. 295 00:17:59,198 --> 00:18:03,067 Excuse me. I'm having some trouble having to see you with another man. 296 00:18:03,102 --> 00:18:07,405 It just seems like, I don't know, like dad has just been replaced. 297 00:18:07,506 --> 00:18:09,140 Replaced? 298 00:18:11,276 --> 00:18:13,244 Jill. 299 00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:18,482 Your father could never be replaced. 300 00:18:19,685 --> 00:18:21,720 He's still so much a part of my life 301 00:18:21,821 --> 00:18:25,990 That it takes everything I've got to let someone else in. 302 00:18:26,259 --> 00:18:29,093 I'm sorry, mom. 303 00:18:29,195 --> 00:18:33,097 I just... I hadn't anticipated how hard it would be for me to... 304 00:18:33,199 --> 00:18:35,399 ...Not have dad here for christmas. 305 00:18:35,500 --> 00:18:37,969 Well, it's hard for me, too. 306 00:18:38,070 --> 00:18:42,440 I mean, as much as I'm trying to move on with my life, it... 307 00:18:42,541 --> 00:18:46,244 [sobbing] not having him around just tears my heart out. 308 00:18:46,979 --> 00:18:48,713 Oh. 309 00:18:48,814 --> 00:18:51,850 You don't know how happy that makes me. 310 00:18:54,586 --> 00:18:55,586 Well, not happy. 311 00:18:55,687 --> 00:18:58,556 - That sounded awful! - I know what you mean, honey. 312 00:18:58,657 --> 00:19:00,058 Oh, mom. 313 00:19:00,159 --> 00:19:02,593 Oh, now, come on now, come on. 314 00:19:02,694 --> 00:19:06,764 Remember when you girls were little and your father would get up on christmas 315 00:19:06,866 --> 00:19:10,235 And make his famous apple pancakes? 316 00:19:10,336 --> 00:19:11,502 Oh, yeah. 317 00:19:11,603 --> 00:19:14,638 As soon as he left the room we fed them to the dog. 318 00:19:16,408 --> 00:19:18,910 Do you think that's what killed the dog? 319 00:19:19,011 --> 00:19:20,411 [laughing] 320 00:19:20,512 --> 00:19:22,647 Well, it was sweet of him to do it for us. 321 00:19:22,748 --> 00:19:26,317 And nice of him to pass his cooking skills along to me. 322 00:19:28,087 --> 00:19:29,454 - Mom. - Hmm? 323 00:19:29,555 --> 00:19:32,457 You remember I wanted you to open that present? 324 00:19:32,558 --> 00:19:34,025 - Oh, yes. - Would you do that now? 325 00:19:34,126 --> 00:19:36,294 - Yes, thank you. - Here. 326 00:19:36,995 --> 00:19:38,863 Here you go. 327 00:19:38,964 --> 00:19:43,000 Oh, look at that. There's an air filter and a gas cap. 328 00:19:47,473 --> 00:19:49,340 Oh, jill. 329 00:19:50,443 --> 00:19:53,211 I found it in your house and I had it restored. 330 00:19:53,312 --> 00:19:56,013 Oh, it's beautiful. 331 00:19:56,115 --> 00:19:58,983 You were a beautiful bride. 332 00:19:59,085 --> 00:20:01,686 Look at that lovely alabaster skin. 333 00:20:01,787 --> 00:20:04,722 No, I was pale 'cause I was stuffed into that dress so tight 334 00:20:04,823 --> 00:20:07,725 The blood couldn't get to my head. 335 00:20:07,826 --> 00:20:11,963 Of course, dad's uniform is perfect. Check out the sword. 336 00:20:12,098 --> 00:20:15,600 That wasn't just for show, you know. 337 00:20:15,701 --> 00:20:18,369 What? You're gonna tell me he cut the cake with it? 338 00:20:18,471 --> 00:20:22,207 No, he used it to cut me out of that dress. 339 00:20:24,110 --> 00:20:27,678 [randy] all right, dad. Judges are out front. Turn on your lights. 340 00:20:27,779 --> 00:20:29,947 - Judges, you all ready? - Ready. 341 00:20:30,048 --> 00:20:32,883 - One, two, three. - [switch clicks] 342 00:20:34,853 --> 00:20:38,522 [♪ instrumental version of joy to the world plays] 343 00:20:43,695 --> 00:20:45,429 - [music stops] - oh! 344 00:20:45,530 --> 00:20:49,033 - [thudding] - [glass breaking] 345 00:20:49,134 --> 00:20:50,568 - Dad! - [car alarms blaring] 346 00:20:50,669 --> 00:20:53,404 Your santa bounced off three different cars. 347 00:20:53,505 --> 00:20:55,606 What did the judge think of the lights? 348 00:20:55,707 --> 00:20:58,509 We'll let you know when he regains consciousness. 349 00:21:03,082 --> 00:21:06,717 Christmas is over. Your wife might have got you stuff you didn't want. 350 00:21:06,818 --> 00:21:07,986 So, what do you do? 351 00:21:08,087 --> 00:21:11,089 I say exchange them for some how-to videos 352 00:21:11,190 --> 00:21:13,624 From binford's new home video collection. 353 00:21:13,725 --> 00:21:16,560 Like this one, our newest, look who's caulking. 354 00:21:20,532 --> 00:21:24,835 [tim] the most important thing when caulking is to get a smooth, even seal. 355 00:21:24,936 --> 00:21:26,871 I like to use a harbor seal. 356 00:21:26,972 --> 00:21:29,374 [tim imitating seal] 357 00:21:29,475 --> 00:21:32,176 - Right, al? - [al] I don't think so, tim. 358 00:21:32,278 --> 00:21:35,413 Concentrate on the work or there could be an accident. 359 00:21:35,514 --> 00:21:39,617 [tim] actually, there's already been an accident. 360 00:21:39,718 --> 00:21:41,352 Mom! 361 00:21:44,422 --> 00:21:47,759 I never knew detroit had stop signs. 362 00:21:47,860 --> 00:21:51,061 Those octagonal red things? Yeah. 363 00:21:51,162 --> 00:21:53,531 Are those octagons? 364 00:21:55,701 --> 00:21:57,768 Just... Are they octagonal? 365 00:21:57,870 --> 00:22:00,371 Well, I scared myself with that word. 366 00:22:02,807 --> 00:22:05,576 I never knew detroit had stop signs. 367 00:22:05,677 --> 00:22:08,012 Ah. Those octagonal red things. No. 368 00:22:10,349 --> 00:22:13,585 I never knew detroit had stop signs. 369 00:22:13,686 --> 00:22:16,087 Those are those octagonal red...