1 00:00:00,354 --> 00:00:02,755 - Hi. - Oh, hi, sweetie. 2 00:00:02,856 --> 00:00:06,558 - You won't believe what happened to me today. - What? 3 00:00:06,660 --> 00:00:11,497 Wayne county community college called the set and wants me to teach a class. 4 00:00:12,466 --> 00:00:15,167 How to blow yourself up 101? 5 00:00:15,268 --> 00:00:18,037 You know, these barbs draw blood sometimes. 6 00:00:18,138 --> 00:00:20,640 It's actually a 12-week course in auto repair. 7 00:00:20,741 --> 00:00:23,509 You'd be great teaching auto shop. 8 00:00:23,610 --> 00:00:26,545 That's what the dean said. What do I know about teaching? 9 00:00:26,646 --> 00:00:30,115 - Isn't that what you do on tool time? - [chuckles] no. 10 00:00:30,217 --> 00:00:33,886 Tool time is a veiled attempt at entertainment. 11 00:00:33,987 --> 00:00:37,523 Teaching is serious business. You're talking about kids' futures. 12 00:00:37,624 --> 00:00:42,361 If you don't prepare just right they're gonna heckle ya, throw spitwads at ya. 13 00:00:42,663 --> 00:00:46,599 - They don't do that stuff in college. - Want to bet? 14 00:00:46,700 --> 00:00:49,669 You're always saying that you want to give something back 15 00:00:49,769 --> 00:00:51,904 To the automotive community. 16 00:00:52,005 --> 00:00:55,408 I give them 30 percent of my annual income already. 17 00:00:55,509 --> 00:00:59,945 No, look. You'll finally get to share your knowledge of cars. 18 00:01:00,046 --> 00:01:02,548 I share that knowledge with you guys all the time. 19 00:01:02,649 --> 00:01:06,085 But now you'll be sharing it with someone who's interested. 20 00:01:54,467 --> 00:01:56,502 [chattering] 21 00:01:58,137 --> 00:01:59,505 Hello, class. 22 00:01:59,606 --> 00:02:02,375 Oh, whoa. Wayne community college is proud to present 23 00:02:02,476 --> 00:02:04,677 Tim "the tool man" taylor. 24 00:02:04,778 --> 00:02:07,246 [humming tool time theme music] 25 00:02:07,347 --> 00:02:10,016 Ha, ha! What's up? What's up? 26 00:02:10,149 --> 00:02:12,250 - Welcome. - Thank you, heidi. 27 00:02:12,351 --> 00:02:16,188 - No, man, it's billy. - But we'd trade him for heidi. 28 00:02:16,890 --> 00:02:19,191 Thank you, flat top. 29 00:02:20,227 --> 00:02:21,660 I am tim "the tool man" taylor. 30 00:02:21,761 --> 00:02:25,497 - For the next 12 weeks you will be my assistants. - Yeah. All right! 31 00:02:25,598 --> 00:02:28,300 We're gonna talk about the most important part of a car. 32 00:02:28,401 --> 00:02:31,770 - The back seat? - [laughter] 33 00:02:31,871 --> 00:02:35,107 They'll be covering that in miss hensley's class down the hall, 34 00:02:35,208 --> 00:02:37,276 [with lisp] our bodies, ourselves. 35 00:02:39,312 --> 00:02:41,847 We're gonna focus on the engine, actually. 36 00:02:41,948 --> 00:02:44,316 - All right! - No, no, sit, sit, sit! 37 00:02:44,417 --> 00:02:47,453 You don't need tools today. All you need is paper and pencils. 38 00:02:47,554 --> 00:02:51,223 I'm gonna do a history lesson about the internal combustion engine. 39 00:02:51,324 --> 00:02:53,992 It's interesting because most people don't know 40 00:02:54,093 --> 00:02:56,595 It was developed in a little village in France. 41 00:02:56,696 --> 00:02:58,196 [laughter] 42 00:03:01,201 --> 00:03:05,504 - [billy] that's cold. - Very good spit to wad ratio on that. 43 00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:08,607 Very nice, very nice. 44 00:03:08,708 --> 00:03:10,809 Is this not interesting? Is that the problem? 45 00:03:11,011 --> 00:03:13,679 - We came here to get our hands dirty. - Oh, really? 46 00:03:13,780 --> 00:03:18,751 Well, look. The school curriculum says the first lesson is just lecture, ok? 47 00:03:18,852 --> 00:03:21,486 Since when does "the tool man" follow instructions? 48 00:03:21,587 --> 00:03:25,090 Right. He didn't follow them when he fell in that port-a-potty. 49 00:03:26,526 --> 00:03:29,861 You know, this material is boring but it may come up on a test. 50 00:03:29,962 --> 00:03:31,563 You make the tests. 51 00:03:31,664 --> 00:03:32,964 I do? 52 00:03:34,534 --> 00:03:37,035 I can give d's rather than get them? 53 00:03:39,305 --> 00:03:40,506 I'm the king. 54 00:03:40,607 --> 00:03:43,442 And these are my subjects. I say, let's get greasy. 55 00:03:43,543 --> 00:03:46,178 - [grunting] - great! All right! 56 00:03:48,582 --> 00:03:49,815 We gotta get to the movies. 57 00:03:49,916 --> 00:03:52,685 I know. I just gotta set up the table for your dad. 58 00:03:52,786 --> 00:03:55,888 He's running late. I hope he didn't forget about the poker game. 59 00:03:55,989 --> 00:04:00,159 Dad forget about poker? It's like mark forgetting to be a dork. 60 00:04:02,195 --> 00:04:06,531 Or randy forgetting to wear the color "puke." 61 00:04:06,399 --> 00:04:10,569 Can we get through the rest of this evening without any more insults? 62 00:04:10,670 --> 00:04:12,138 Mom, I'll drive to the movies. 63 00:04:12,239 --> 00:04:14,607 Geek-boy and vomit-shirt can sit in back. 64 00:04:16,843 --> 00:04:19,545 Sorry I'm late. Thanks for putting the table together. 65 00:04:19,646 --> 00:04:22,014 - How did your first class go? - It was great. 66 00:04:22,115 --> 00:04:24,082 So much energy. I love school. 67 00:04:24,183 --> 00:04:27,352 And I think hell just froze over. 68 00:04:27,453 --> 00:04:30,589 The two hours went by like that. They picked my brain clean. 69 00:04:30,690 --> 00:04:33,658 What did you do for the other hour and 59 minutes? 70 00:04:36,362 --> 00:04:39,698 I thought about what I was gonna buy with your allowance. 71 00:04:39,799 --> 00:04:43,435 I want to hear all about the class when we get back from the movies, ok? 72 00:04:43,536 --> 00:04:47,873 You don't have to leave. I'm making my "mucho macho" chili. Stick around. 73 00:04:47,974 --> 00:04:50,309 Five men and a vat of chili. 74 00:04:52,779 --> 00:04:55,714 Hm. You might want to get a hotel room. 75 00:04:57,751 --> 00:04:58,984 Later. 76 00:04:59,619 --> 00:05:01,553 [all laughing] 77 00:05:01,655 --> 00:05:03,822 All right. Cut those. Everybody in. 78 00:05:03,923 --> 00:05:07,660 The game, gentlemen, is five card draw. Jacks back, snake in the grass. 79 00:05:07,761 --> 00:05:11,864 So, professor tim, how was your first day in the world of academia? 80 00:05:11,965 --> 00:05:14,700 It was great. I have a really cool group of students. 81 00:05:14,801 --> 00:05:18,237 Hey, during roll call was anyone named seymour butts? 82 00:05:19,239 --> 00:05:22,007 Or jacques strap? 83 00:05:22,342 --> 00:05:24,776 Or kay o'pectate? 84 00:05:26,012 --> 00:05:28,179 When's the last time you were on a campus, harry? 85 00:05:28,280 --> 00:05:31,216 Oh, let's see. I got out of 'nam in '71, 86 00:05:31,317 --> 00:05:34,819 So that would make it... Never. 87 00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:37,155 You ever thought of going back to school, al? 88 00:05:37,256 --> 00:05:39,491 I don't know. What would I do at school? 89 00:05:39,592 --> 00:05:43,094 Well, you could become a lab experiment. 90 00:05:43,195 --> 00:05:45,331 Let's go, guys. I've got rent to pay. 91 00:05:45,432 --> 00:05:49,001 You don't pay rent. You mooch off your aunt. 92 00:05:49,102 --> 00:05:51,870 It was a figure of speech. 93 00:05:51,971 --> 00:05:54,439 Right up there with, "my wallet's in the car." 94 00:05:54,541 --> 00:05:55,941 [laughing] 95 00:05:56,042 --> 00:05:58,309 I need two and I'm in. 96 00:05:58,411 --> 00:06:00,479 - Anybody want chili? - Is it spicy? 97 00:06:00,847 --> 00:06:03,949 Take the chrome off a bumper with this stuff. 98 00:06:04,050 --> 00:06:06,885 I'll eat it. Extra onions. 99 00:06:06,987 --> 00:06:08,587 How could you digest that stuff? 100 00:06:08,688 --> 00:06:11,590 I said I'd eat it. I never said I'd digest it. 101 00:06:12,559 --> 00:06:13,592 Harry, you want some? 102 00:06:13,693 --> 00:06:16,562 Oh, no, thanks. I don't want to irritate my colon. 103 00:06:20,700 --> 00:06:23,735 Gee. Thanks for sharing. 104 00:06:23,836 --> 00:06:27,072 - Al, you want some of this? - Oh, no, that stuff is way too spicy. 105 00:06:27,173 --> 00:06:30,642 - Do you have any salt-free crackers? - Yeah, right here. 106 00:06:30,744 --> 00:06:33,579 Just have benny lick the salt off for you. 107 00:06:35,482 --> 00:06:38,717 - Wilson, you want some? - Oh, no chili for me. 108 00:06:41,788 --> 00:06:45,857 I just got my cholesterol results. I wish my iq was that high. 109 00:06:47,294 --> 00:06:49,595 Wait a second. It is. 110 00:06:51,364 --> 00:06:52,964 We sound like a bunch of geezers. 111 00:06:53,065 --> 00:06:55,367 There's a very good reason for that. 112 00:06:55,468 --> 00:06:57,035 [all] we are. 113 00:06:57,136 --> 00:07:00,439 I'm reminded of the english novelist anthony powell who said, "getting old 114 00:07:00,540 --> 00:07:04,676 Is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you never committed." 115 00:07:04,777 --> 00:07:07,980 This is crazy. Come on, we've got our whole lives ahead of us. 116 00:07:08,081 --> 00:07:10,949 You think young you are young. We're young, right? 117 00:07:11,050 --> 00:07:13,485 [without enthusiasm] we're young. 118 00:07:14,420 --> 00:07:16,889 That was pathetic. Come on, say it. We're young. 119 00:07:16,990 --> 00:07:20,092 - [all] we're young! - We're vital. 120 00:07:20,193 --> 00:07:22,394 [all] we're vital! 121 00:07:22,495 --> 00:07:25,030 We go out there and grab life by the yahoos! 122 00:07:25,131 --> 00:07:27,833 [all] yahoo! Yeah! 123 00:07:27,934 --> 00:07:31,403 Let's get this game going. I want to be in bed by 10:00. 124 00:07:37,677 --> 00:07:39,311 - [boys] ooh! - [tim laughing] 125 00:07:39,412 --> 00:07:41,680 That's it for the day, everybody. Good job. 126 00:07:41,781 --> 00:07:45,184 Clean up your stations. I'll see you next time. 127 00:07:45,285 --> 00:07:49,121 All right. Wait, wait, wait. Quick. Pop quiz: 128 00:07:49,222 --> 00:07:53,091 - What's the coolest car of all time? - '72 eldorado convertible. 129 00:07:56,897 --> 00:08:00,900 - No. - The '67 mustang fastback. 130 00:08:01,001 --> 00:08:03,068 Interesting, but so wrong. 131 00:08:03,169 --> 00:08:05,437 '66 karmann ghia. 132 00:08:08,107 --> 00:08:10,275 Get some help, grant. Get some help. 133 00:08:11,511 --> 00:08:14,446 '65 gto with a 389 tri-power. 134 00:08:14,547 --> 00:08:15,947 - Color? - Montero red. 135 00:08:16,048 --> 00:08:19,685 Montero red! So close and yet [buzzes] so definitely wrong. 136 00:08:19,786 --> 00:08:21,853 Palmetto blue. Palmetto blue. 137 00:08:21,954 --> 00:08:25,357 - Wait a minute. Are we graded on this? - Just you, heidi. 138 00:08:25,458 --> 00:08:27,893 Billy. It's billy. 139 00:08:27,994 --> 00:08:31,363 Tim, we're headed to carmine's for pizza. You want to come? 140 00:08:31,464 --> 00:08:34,032 Are you sure you want to be seen with your teacher? 141 00:08:34,133 --> 00:08:36,701 You're not like a teacher, mr. Taylor. You're cool. 142 00:08:36,802 --> 00:08:39,004 So, you cats dig me, huh? 143 00:08:40,239 --> 00:08:42,508 Up until that last sentence, we did. 144 00:08:44,577 --> 00:08:48,580 You know, grant, you're starting to remind me of me at your age. 145 00:08:48,681 --> 00:08:50,448 Thanks. 146 00:08:51,751 --> 00:08:54,519 It's not a good thing. 147 00:08:54,688 --> 00:08:57,222 - Come on, we'll ride together. - I don't know. 148 00:08:57,324 --> 00:08:59,624 Shotgun! 149 00:09:03,396 --> 00:09:05,697 Wait. So, the guy says to the bartender, 150 00:09:05,798 --> 00:09:08,433 "who keeps saying all these nice things about me?" 151 00:09:08,535 --> 00:09:11,937 And the bartender says, "the peanuts. They're complimentary." 152 00:09:12,038 --> 00:09:14,072 - [laughing] - this is good. 153 00:09:14,173 --> 00:09:16,474 Eight pieces of pizza, I'm still laughing. 154 00:09:16,576 --> 00:09:20,078 It wasn't that funny in the car with the windows rolled up, was it? 155 00:09:20,179 --> 00:09:22,113 I'm still hungry. You got anything to eat? 156 00:09:22,214 --> 00:09:25,316 - Fridge is there. Help yourself. - Is this your old lady? 157 00:09:25,418 --> 00:09:28,687 Yeah. Although when you meet her, I might use some other term. 158 00:09:28,788 --> 00:09:30,589 - She's a babe. - Yeah, she is a babe. 159 00:09:30,690 --> 00:09:33,926 If you think she's a honey, wait till you see the honey in the garage. 160 00:09:34,093 --> 00:09:36,895 Hey, can I eat this? Looks like tuna casserole. 161 00:09:36,996 --> 00:09:39,898 For your own safety, grant, don't touch the casserole. 162 00:09:39,999 --> 00:09:43,201 Put it down slowly, back away and don't make eye contact. 163 00:09:47,674 --> 00:09:50,242 Whoa. It's a '55 nomad. 164 00:09:50,343 --> 00:09:51,977 Fully restored. 165 00:09:52,211 --> 00:09:56,682 And fully restored again after you dropped that beam on it. 166 00:09:56,949 --> 00:10:01,253 - What do you got under the hood? - 395 horses. Listen. 167 00:10:01,354 --> 00:10:03,889 [revving engine] 168 00:10:04,757 --> 00:10:06,125 It sounds awesome. 169 00:10:06,226 --> 00:10:10,095 But I bet it wouldn't beat my firebird off the line. 170 00:10:09,962 --> 00:10:12,965 - You don't think so? - Why don't we go find out? 171 00:10:13,066 --> 00:10:16,234 Oh, right. You want to go drag race at 12:00 at night? 172 00:10:18,137 --> 00:10:19,404 All right. 173 00:10:20,406 --> 00:10:22,740 Our first field trip! 174 00:10:22,841 --> 00:10:25,711 [laughing] oh! 175 00:10:26,379 --> 00:10:28,580 - Tim, what's going on? - Ahhh... 176 00:10:28,748 --> 00:10:32,251 Hey, guys, this is my babe. 177 00:10:32,352 --> 00:10:34,219 This is grant, that's brett, that's billy. 178 00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:36,254 Hi. Can I talk to you for a second? 179 00:10:36,555 --> 00:10:39,624 - Sorry to bother you, mrs. Taylor. - Oh, no, that's ok. 180 00:10:39,725 --> 00:10:42,126 I was just, uh, you know... Sleeping. 181 00:10:47,633 --> 00:10:50,568 What are you doing revving up the engine at this hour? 182 00:10:50,669 --> 00:10:53,605 That was stupid. That's why I'm taking it outside. 183 00:10:56,475 --> 00:10:58,110 Now? 184 00:10:58,211 --> 00:11:02,347 Yeah, I'm gonna go out and do a little comparative driving. 185 00:11:04,149 --> 00:11:06,051 - You're gonna go drag racing? - No! 186 00:11:06,152 --> 00:11:09,421 I'm not gonna take those kids drag racing. We'll just cruise. 187 00:11:09,522 --> 00:11:12,291 Wouldn't it be cool to take those kids off the line? 188 00:11:12,392 --> 00:11:14,193 Are you insane? 189 00:11:14,294 --> 00:11:17,129 You have to work tomorrow. You should get some sleep. 190 00:11:17,230 --> 00:11:19,998 I've got more energy than I've ever had, thanks to you. 191 00:11:20,099 --> 00:11:22,100 - Me? - If you hadn't encouraged me, 192 00:11:22,201 --> 00:11:26,471 I wouldn't be with these guys having fun. I'd be in bed with you. Gotta go. 193 00:11:34,680 --> 00:11:36,481 Who wants more breakfast chili? 194 00:11:36,582 --> 00:11:40,218 What's the difference between breakfast chili and dinner chili? 195 00:11:40,319 --> 00:11:42,587 Well, in this case, about a week. 196 00:11:44,023 --> 00:11:46,691 How can you have so much energy after spending the night 197 00:11:46,792 --> 00:11:49,127 With a bunch of guys screwing around with cars? 198 00:11:49,228 --> 00:11:52,063 Well, I think you answered your own question, didn't you? 199 00:11:52,164 --> 00:11:55,100 Why would your students want to hang out with you? 200 00:11:55,201 --> 00:11:57,069 'cause they're sucking up. 201 00:11:57,170 --> 00:12:01,839 You gotta be pretty desperate to suck up to an auto shop teacher. 202 00:12:01,940 --> 00:12:03,909 Guys! Come on, you're gonna be late for school. 203 00:12:04,010 --> 00:12:08,013 - Oh, we don't want that, now, do we? - No, we don't! 204 00:12:08,113 --> 00:12:10,549 Have a good day. Bye. 205 00:12:10,650 --> 00:12:13,785 Am I crazy or did I hear you come in at 2:00 in the morning? 206 00:12:13,886 --> 00:12:17,722 You're crazy. It was closer to quarter to three. 207 00:12:17,823 --> 00:12:20,859 Hey, do you have any plans next Tuesday night? 208 00:12:20,960 --> 00:12:22,594 No. Why, what's up? 209 00:12:22,695 --> 00:12:25,797 We could invite some of the students and girlfriends over for dinner. 210 00:12:25,898 --> 00:12:29,367 - Tuesday night's your poker night. - I'll skip it. 211 00:12:29,468 --> 00:12:32,770 You've played poker every single Tuesday night for seven years. 212 00:12:32,871 --> 00:12:37,042 It's getting to be a drag. All those guys do is talk about bodily functions. 213 00:12:38,377 --> 00:12:42,080 - You love bodily functions. - But I'm a doer, not a talker. 214 00:12:45,417 --> 00:12:47,418 Does everybody know what time it is? 215 00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:48,954 - Tool time! - That's right. 216 00:12:49,055 --> 00:12:52,223 Welcome to tool time on location, starring that man in the tub, 217 00:12:52,324 --> 00:12:55,961 Rub-a-dub-dub, tim "the tool man" taylor. 218 00:12:56,062 --> 00:12:58,429 - Thank you, heidi. - You're welcome. 219 00:12:58,531 --> 00:13:01,833 Welcome to tool time on location. I am tim "the tool man" taylor. 220 00:13:01,934 --> 00:13:06,071 And speaking of tubs, here's al borland. 221 00:13:06,172 --> 00:13:11,376 Thank you, tim. We're gonna be doing a little repair work on the burnett family bathroom. 222 00:13:11,477 --> 00:13:14,646 To get the ball rolling we have our friend and master plumber, 223 00:13:14,747 --> 00:13:19,017 Felix myman, who's going to show us how to get rid of a really nasty sink clog. 224 00:13:19,118 --> 00:13:22,054 And they say there's nothing good on tv. 225 00:13:22,955 --> 00:13:24,522 Felix, come on and join us. 226 00:13:24,623 --> 00:13:26,524 - Hello, tim, al. - How are you doing? 227 00:13:26,625 --> 00:13:27,959 Great to have you back. 228 00:13:28,061 --> 00:13:31,163 Felix has more of his work on tv than any other plumber I know. 229 00:13:31,263 --> 00:13:33,264 Years ago I had my own cable show. 230 00:13:33,365 --> 00:13:37,035 Pipe styles of the rich and famous. 231 00:13:37,136 --> 00:13:39,838 Felix, from now on let me do the jokes, ok? 232 00:13:39,939 --> 00:13:42,574 - Well, why don't we plunge right in? - Al! 233 00:13:42,675 --> 00:13:44,576 All right, well... 234 00:13:44,677 --> 00:13:48,646 Now, the first thing you want to do is determine the nature of your clog. 235 00:13:48,748 --> 00:13:52,784 Well, my guess is, there's something foreign caught in the pipes. 236 00:13:52,885 --> 00:13:55,386 You think? 237 00:13:55,487 --> 00:13:58,857 Foreign? You mean like a volkswagen? Maybe julio iglesias? 238 00:13:58,958 --> 00:14:00,726 Maybe stonehenge is in there. 239 00:14:00,827 --> 00:14:04,662 I'm on the clock, tim. Every one of your jokes is costing you money. 240 00:14:05,564 --> 00:14:08,200 Not to mention our viewers. 241 00:14:08,300 --> 00:14:11,770 To clear a foreign object through the pipe I use a snake. 242 00:14:11,871 --> 00:14:13,605 That's pretty old-fashioned stuff. 243 00:14:13,706 --> 00:14:17,342 Hip, young guys are using compressed air to clear their clogs. 244 00:14:17,443 --> 00:14:20,545 That's fine if you've got hip, young pipes, tim. 245 00:14:20,647 --> 00:14:25,884 But these old pipes, compressed air can damage old plumbing. 246 00:14:25,985 --> 00:14:29,354 That's right. A snake may be slower, but it's trusty and reliable. 247 00:14:29,455 --> 00:14:31,123 [groaning] 248 00:14:32,191 --> 00:14:33,892 "trusty" and "reliable. 249 00:14:33,993 --> 00:14:36,928 Are there two duller words in the english language? 250 00:14:37,030 --> 00:14:41,566 Wait a minute. Yeah, there are. Al, you don't have a middle name, do ya? 251 00:14:41,668 --> 00:14:43,201 [inaudible] 252 00:14:43,302 --> 00:14:45,236 Well, this clog won't budge. 253 00:14:45,337 --> 00:14:47,806 I'm gonna need a snake with a retrieving auger. 254 00:14:47,907 --> 00:14:49,474 Wait a minute. Felix, come on. 255 00:14:49,575 --> 00:14:53,145 Go with compressed air. It's now. It's "go with the flow, baby." 256 00:14:53,245 --> 00:14:56,081 If there was any flow, we wouldn't be here. 257 00:14:57,417 --> 00:14:59,217 I'm gonna get my pipe snake. 258 00:14:59,318 --> 00:15:03,321 While felix gets the retrieving auger, why don't we take the time now to... 259 00:15:03,423 --> 00:15:04,689 Not so fast, al. 260 00:15:04,790 --> 00:15:07,892 While he's gone... Heidi, my master blaster, please. 261 00:15:08,127 --> 00:15:11,496 - Here you are, tim. - Thank you, heidi. 262 00:15:11,597 --> 00:15:15,233 Uh... We might want to remind our viewers that these are old pipes, 263 00:15:15,334 --> 00:15:18,736 And the master blaster blows compressed air at 1,400 psi. 264 00:15:18,838 --> 00:15:24,542 Well, it used to. Until I removed the regulator. Now it goes to 3,000 psi. 265 00:15:24,643 --> 00:15:27,612 - Tim, that's an awful lot of pressure. - [air blowing] 266 00:15:27,713 --> 00:15:30,515 "the tool man" works great under pressure. 267 00:15:30,616 --> 00:15:33,718 - What are you doing? - Clearing pipes with compressed air. 268 00:15:33,820 --> 00:15:35,787 - Don't burst my bubble. - [rumbling] 269 00:15:35,888 --> 00:15:38,690 That's not the only thing your bubble's gonna burst. 270 00:15:38,791 --> 00:15:39,958 Oh! 271 00:15:40,059 --> 00:15:42,694 - [rumbling] - [creaking] 272 00:15:42,795 --> 00:15:45,430 I worked on a sub in the navy and I know that sound. 273 00:15:45,531 --> 00:15:48,300 - What happens next? - I'm going awol. 274 00:15:49,568 --> 00:15:51,102 Me, too. 275 00:15:57,009 --> 00:15:58,610 I'm going down. 276 00:16:02,215 --> 00:16:04,983 - Thanks, honey, for making this dinner. - I wanted to. 277 00:16:05,084 --> 00:16:07,252 I've never seen you so excited about dinner. 278 00:16:07,353 --> 00:16:09,921 It'll be great. For dessert we'll go to the garage. 279 00:16:10,022 --> 00:16:12,090 I'll introduce us all to the hot rod. 280 00:16:12,191 --> 00:16:15,660 - The dinner party of my dreams. - [laughing] 281 00:16:15,761 --> 00:16:17,662 [doorbell ringing] 282 00:16:20,433 --> 00:16:22,800 - Hey, come on in. - Hey, tim. This is christy. 283 00:16:22,901 --> 00:16:24,669 - That's andi. - [both] hi. 284 00:16:26,372 --> 00:16:27,539 Good to see you. 285 00:16:27,639 --> 00:16:30,175 This is my wife. Everybody, this is jill. 286 00:16:30,276 --> 00:16:32,978 Hi. It is so nice to meet you, mrs. Taylor. 287 00:16:33,079 --> 00:16:36,414 - Oh, please, call me jill. - Oh, I love your house! 288 00:16:36,515 --> 00:16:38,784 It reminds me of my mom's. 289 00:16:39,451 --> 00:16:41,319 This place is so retro. 290 00:16:41,420 --> 00:16:46,591 I've been meaning to ask you, where did you find this great '80's furniture? 291 00:16:47,025 --> 00:16:49,227 In the '80's. 292 00:16:49,328 --> 00:16:52,163 - Do you guys want sodas? - No, I brought brewskis. 293 00:16:52,264 --> 00:16:53,998 - Yeah. - Not me. I'm driving. 294 00:16:54,099 --> 00:16:56,468 - [cans opening] - whoa! Party. 295 00:16:56,635 --> 00:17:00,838 - Can I get you a glass? Paper towel? - No, thanks. 296 00:17:01,974 --> 00:17:04,075 How's that carpet doing? 297 00:17:04,877 --> 00:17:06,578 Well, um... 298 00:17:06,679 --> 00:17:10,215 We got hors d'oeuvres. You want to wait for billy and his girl? 299 00:17:10,316 --> 00:17:13,017 - They may not be coming. - They didn't call or anything. 300 00:17:13,118 --> 00:17:16,488 They were thinking of going to a club, said they'd play it by ear. 301 00:17:16,589 --> 00:17:18,290 Jill planned the party for eight. 302 00:17:18,391 --> 00:17:20,558 - She took a lot of work to do that. - It's ok. 303 00:17:20,660 --> 00:17:23,795 - There's more food for the rest of us. - Yeah! Great! 304 00:17:23,896 --> 00:17:26,097 - Yeah. - Then again, maybe not. 305 00:17:27,499 --> 00:17:29,134 This meal was delicious, jill. 306 00:17:29,235 --> 00:17:30,702 Oh, thanks. Thanks. 307 00:17:30,803 --> 00:17:32,904 Oh, my god. The chicken's all gone. 308 00:17:33,005 --> 00:17:35,773 I'm sorry. Did you want some? 309 00:17:35,875 --> 00:17:40,312 No, no! I'm just so surprised that anyone ate my chicken! 310 00:17:42,448 --> 00:17:44,149 It was nice of you guys to come by tonight. 311 00:17:44,250 --> 00:17:48,119 - Yeah. We know it's a school night. - Oh, not for me. 312 00:17:48,220 --> 00:17:51,389 We're playing hooky tomorrow because it's my birthday! 313 00:17:51,490 --> 00:17:53,858 Yeah, it's the big two-three. 314 00:17:57,396 --> 00:18:00,097 Grant and I are gonna go and pick out a ring. 315 00:18:00,198 --> 00:18:03,134 - Oh! Are you getting married? - No! 316 00:18:03,235 --> 00:18:07,538 Grant's buying me a nose ring! 317 00:18:07,639 --> 00:18:11,942 Nothing says "I love you" like a piece of steel right through the nostril. 318 00:18:13,345 --> 00:18:16,848 I wanted to get a nose ring, but brett here thinks it's gross. 319 00:18:17,049 --> 00:18:20,117 - I'm with brett. - He wants me to get a navel ring. 320 00:18:20,218 --> 00:18:22,253 Yeah, so it'll match mine. 321 00:18:22,354 --> 00:18:23,921 [christy] isn't it cute? 322 00:18:24,022 --> 00:18:26,958 Oh! Cool. Matching "his" and "her" lint traps. 323 00:18:28,360 --> 00:18:29,894 [beeping] 324 00:18:29,995 --> 00:18:33,064 - Oh. Can I use your phone? - Sure. Yeah, yeah. 325 00:18:33,165 --> 00:18:35,366 You know, jill's in college now. 326 00:18:35,468 --> 00:18:39,070 Yeah. I went back for my master's in psychology. 327 00:18:39,171 --> 00:18:41,940 It was really hard to go back at my age, but... 328 00:18:42,041 --> 00:18:45,977 ...I've always been fascinated by the complexity of the human mind. 329 00:18:46,078 --> 00:18:49,380 - Keg party in ypsilanti! - Whoo-hoo! Yeah! 330 00:18:49,481 --> 00:18:51,516 Billy said we should all drive up. 331 00:18:51,617 --> 00:18:53,685 I can fit six in my truck. I've got the camper. 332 00:18:53,786 --> 00:18:56,922 If we leave now we can get there for the first round of thumper. 333 00:18:57,023 --> 00:18:59,524 - Whoo! - Hey, hello. Hello. 334 00:18:59,625 --> 00:19:02,093 What about dessert? Jill baked a real nice cake. 335 00:19:02,194 --> 00:19:04,696 We can look at the hot rod. What do you think? 336 00:19:04,797 --> 00:19:08,299 - We can do that some other time. - Come on, jill. Let's party. 337 00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:09,600 No, guys, I'm sorry. 338 00:19:09,701 --> 00:19:12,504 But there's no way on Tuesday night at 10:00 339 00:19:12,604 --> 00:19:14,339 That I could drive to ypsilanti. 340 00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:17,575 I've got classes and I've got to get three kids to school. 341 00:19:17,676 --> 00:19:21,179 You? We can pull an all-nighter and get you back in the morning. 342 00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:23,013 Hmm. Let me think about it. 343 00:19:23,114 --> 00:19:25,683 No! 344 00:19:25,784 --> 00:19:27,418 I've got a real busy day tomorrow. 345 00:19:27,519 --> 00:19:31,922 I've got to go to small claims court about a little bathroom issue. 346 00:19:32,023 --> 00:19:34,392 If you don't want to go to ypsilanti we don't have to go. 347 00:19:34,493 --> 00:19:38,496 No, you guys go and have a good time. I'll see you in class on Thursday. 348 00:19:38,597 --> 00:19:39,531 - Bye. - Bye. 349 00:19:39,632 --> 00:19:40,865 - Thanks. - Bye. 350 00:19:40,966 --> 00:19:42,534 Mind if we take a piece of cake? 351 00:19:42,635 --> 00:19:44,335 No. Please help yourself. 352 00:19:44,436 --> 00:19:47,171 - [grant] bye, thanks. - [jill] nice to meet you. 353 00:19:47,272 --> 00:19:50,408 - Thanks a lot, ok? - Bye, jill. 354 00:19:51,844 --> 00:19:53,577 Yeah, ok. Bye! 355 00:19:53,678 --> 00:19:55,713 - Drive carefully. - Bye. 356 00:19:59,018 --> 00:20:02,420 - Well, they seem very nice. - Yeah. Yeah, didn't they? 357 00:20:02,521 --> 00:20:06,157 If you like immature, irresponsible, rude people they're nice. 358 00:20:06,258 --> 00:20:09,794 Honey, they're kids. They were just acting like kids do. 359 00:20:09,895 --> 00:20:11,930 We never acted like that in college. 360 00:20:12,031 --> 00:20:16,100 Tim, do you remember anything about college? 361 00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:25,610 I remember there were a lot of stairs. 362 00:20:25,711 --> 00:20:28,679 I'm sorry this evening didn't work out the way you expected. 363 00:20:28,780 --> 00:20:32,216 I don't know what I expected. I'm not 21 years old anymore. 364 00:20:32,317 --> 00:20:35,086 I bet it was fun to pretend you were for a couple weeks. 365 00:20:35,187 --> 00:20:37,555 Did you ever envision yourself in the future, 366 00:20:37,656 --> 00:20:39,590 Married in the suburbs with three kids? 367 00:20:39,691 --> 00:20:40,892 No. 368 00:20:40,993 --> 00:20:43,627 I figured I'd spend the rest of my life driving my van, 369 00:20:43,728 --> 00:20:47,032 Listening to in-a-gadda-da-vida on an 8-track. 370 00:20:47,133 --> 00:20:50,602 I guess it's not so bad to be 40 instead of 20. 371 00:20:50,703 --> 00:20:56,074 It feels good to be settled, have some roots, even though they're getting gray. 372 00:20:56,241 --> 00:20:58,810 To have a job, some money in the bank. That's good. 373 00:20:58,911 --> 00:21:02,180 We don't have to worry about getting lucky on new year's eve. 374 00:21:02,281 --> 00:21:06,784 We just have to worry about staying awake on new year's eve. 375 00:21:06,885 --> 00:21:10,655 So, how was it, being married to a college kid for a couple of weeks? 376 00:21:10,756 --> 00:21:12,991 Well, the sex was a lot better. 377 00:21:15,060 --> 00:21:18,563 No small thanks to the moves I learned from mrs. Hensley. 378 00:21:19,798 --> 00:21:22,800 - Mrs. Hensley? - She had a class in the university. 379 00:21:22,902 --> 00:21:25,770 [with lisp] our bodies, ourselves. 380 00:21:25,871 --> 00:21:30,374 She's 75 and she can do some wacky things with the overhead projector. 381 00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:36,380 - [hissing] - I know that sound. 382 00:21:36,481 --> 00:21:38,282 I worked in the navy on a sub. 383 00:21:38,383 --> 00:21:40,417 What happens next? 384 00:21:41,386 --> 00:21:42,920 Awol. 385 00:21:51,830 --> 00:21:53,597 We're going down.