1
00:00:04,691 --> 00:00:05,858
[jill] hi, sweetie.

2
00:00:05,959 --> 00:00:07,960
- Hey, how ya doing?
- All right.

3
00:00:08,061 --> 00:00:10,763
- Good news,
I finished the kitchen.
- Finally!

4
00:00:10,864 --> 00:00:13,832
I, uh, like it.
It's airy.

5
00:00:15,969 --> 00:00:20,172
Well, tim, when you said done,
I had a whole different
image in my mind.

6
00:00:20,273 --> 00:00:22,775
I finished my part.
I got the cabinets in,
huh?

7
00:00:22,876 --> 00:00:24,577
- Well, they look great.
- Thank you.

8
00:00:24,678 --> 00:00:28,581
Now we just gotta
find the right granite guy
to put in the countertops.

9
00:00:28,682 --> 00:00:33,219
Tim, you fired the last two
'cause you didn't like
the way they measured.

10
00:00:33,320 --> 00:00:38,624
And then you interviewed
another 100 guys.
Can't you just pick one?

11
00:00:38,725 --> 00:00:41,593
Honey, you cannot pick
a granite guy
out of the phone book

12
00:00:41,695 --> 00:00:44,663
Like you would
a doctor or a lawyer!

13
00:00:46,866 --> 00:00:48,867
I got my feelers out.

14
00:00:48,968 --> 00:00:50,369
When, realistically,
do you think

15
00:00:50,470 --> 00:00:53,672
We can expect to have
our kitchen finished?

16
00:00:53,773 --> 00:00:57,677
[scoffs] if I could predict
the future, I'd be down
at the racetrack right now.

17
00:00:57,778 --> 00:01:01,079
- [phone rings]
- cross your fingers.

18
00:01:01,715 --> 00:01:04,049
Hello... This is him.

19
00:01:04,150 --> 00:01:05,685
Hi.

20
00:01:07,153 --> 00:01:10,022
Perfect. That's the information
on your answering machine.

21
00:01:10,123 --> 00:01:12,524
Can you be here
tomorrow, 8:00?

22
00:01:12,625 --> 00:01:16,962
Perfect. I can't wait.
Thank you very much. Bye.

23
00:01:17,063 --> 00:01:19,898
The god of granite
just smiled on us!

24
00:01:19,999 --> 00:01:21,167
Meaning?

25
00:01:21,268 --> 00:01:24,003
- We hired the best guy
in the state.
- Yes!

26
00:01:24,104 --> 00:01:28,073
Well, apparently
the couple he was working
for split up. [laughs]

27
00:01:28,174 --> 00:01:32,210
She got the sport ute
and the house,
he got the shih tzu.

28
00:01:36,449 --> 00:01:39,285
And we got
the granite guy!

29
00:02:28,301 --> 00:02:32,038
Hustle up, he'll be here
any minute. I want
everything neat and tidy.

30
00:02:32,139 --> 00:02:35,641
Of course, we mustn't be
messy for the granite guy.

31
00:02:35,742 --> 00:02:38,043
Do I look ok
for the granite guy?

32
00:02:38,144 --> 00:02:40,780
You don't look ok
for anybody.

33
00:02:40,881 --> 00:02:44,850
I'm serious. It's important
to project a good image
for your sub-contractors.

34
00:02:44,951 --> 00:02:48,921
Is that why you're not
gonna be here today?
Good thinking, dad.

35
00:02:50,723 --> 00:02:53,325
I'm not gonna to be here
because I'm supporting
my family.

36
00:02:53,426 --> 00:02:55,727
I tell you, it'd be easier
getting a new family

37
00:02:55,829 --> 00:02:58,197
Than getting
a new granite guy.

38
00:02:59,433 --> 00:03:03,302
And on that psychotic note,
I'm leaving for school.

39
00:03:03,403 --> 00:03:04,436
[mark] me, too.

40
00:03:04,537 --> 00:03:08,407
Hey, uh, hugs and kisses
to the granite guy.

41
00:03:08,508 --> 00:03:11,710
Bye, guys, have a good day.
Good morning.

42
00:03:11,811 --> 00:03:13,512
Is that what you're wearing?

43
00:03:13,613 --> 00:03:14,913
What's wrong?

44
00:03:15,014 --> 00:03:17,750
Nothing, if we're going
to a tractor pull or something.

45
00:03:18,918 --> 00:03:22,621
- But the granite guy is coming.
- [doorbell rings]

46
00:03:22,722 --> 00:03:24,923
Put on lipstick,
do something
with your hair?

47
00:03:25,024 --> 00:03:28,894
Sure, and I'll put on
some pearls
for the plumber. God!

48
00:03:30,196 --> 00:03:34,466
Oh, hi. Patty.
You're just in time
for the granite guy.

49
00:03:34,567 --> 00:03:38,670
I don't know what you're
talking about. It's not
the first time, though.

50
00:03:38,771 --> 00:03:40,806
- Brought your psych book.
- Thank you.

51
00:03:40,907 --> 00:03:42,842
Look at patty.
She looks great,
doesn't she?

52
00:03:42,943 --> 00:03:45,277
She is ready
for the granite guy.

53
00:03:45,378 --> 00:03:48,447
- Will you shut up?
- [doorbell rings]

54
00:03:48,548 --> 00:03:51,483
- God. He's nuts!
- What's that about?

55
00:04:00,827 --> 00:04:03,929
- Tim taylor?
- Hey, that's me! Huh.

56
00:04:04,030 --> 00:04:07,233
And I don't need to know
who you are. Your work
speaks for itself.

57
00:04:07,334 --> 00:04:10,069
- I want to introduce you
to my kitchen.
- Wow.

58
00:04:10,170 --> 00:04:12,271
Tim, you did a great job
on these cabinets.

59
00:04:12,372 --> 00:04:16,007
- And this is my wife, jill.
- And her friend, patty.

60
00:04:16,108 --> 00:04:17,643
Pleased to meet you,
patty.

61
00:04:17,744 --> 00:04:19,378
Jill, I believe
we've met before.

62
00:04:19,479 --> 00:04:21,747
- Yes, I...
I think we have.
- Where?

63
00:04:21,915 --> 00:04:25,183
At the y. As a matter of fact,
tim, I've seen you there, too.

64
00:04:25,285 --> 00:04:27,620
- Don't remember.
- Small world, isn't it?

65
00:04:27,721 --> 00:04:30,656
Yeah. Here I thought
you were just a gym guy,

66
00:04:30,757 --> 00:04:33,292
And you're the granite guy.

67
00:04:33,393 --> 00:04:37,630
That's me. Hey, uh, tim,
I need a workspace.
Do you have a garage?

68
00:04:37,731 --> 00:04:39,465
Do I have a garage?

69
00:04:39,566 --> 00:04:43,135
I got something out there,
a '46 ford convertible
all retro-ed out.

70
00:04:43,236 --> 00:04:45,638
Ooh, what do you have
under the hood?

71
00:04:45,739 --> 00:04:49,741
What do I have
under the hood?

72
00:04:49,743 --> 00:04:53,612
Oh, man, is he gorgeous!
It's like he walked out
of a dream!

73
00:04:53,713 --> 00:04:56,282
Tell me about it!

74
00:04:56,383 --> 00:04:58,417
He's the guy!

75
00:04:58,518 --> 00:05:00,352
- What guy?
- The guy! The guy! The guy!

76
00:05:00,453 --> 00:05:03,055
- Who I had the dream about!
- The guy that asked you out?

77
00:05:03,289 --> 00:05:05,624
- Yes!
- The widower with
the four daughters?

78
00:05:05,725 --> 00:05:07,693
No, no! That was just
in my dream, you know.

79
00:05:07,794 --> 00:05:11,162
I don't know anything
about this real ian.

80
00:05:11,398 --> 00:05:14,467
- You gonna tell tim
he asked you out?
- I can't.

81
00:05:14,568 --> 00:05:17,769
I mean he's driven us
all crazy looking for
somebody to do the counters.

82
00:05:17,870 --> 00:05:21,774
- He's finally found
someone he likes.
- So?

83
00:05:21,875 --> 00:05:24,142
If I tell him
he could get jealous
and he'll fire him

84
00:05:24,244 --> 00:05:28,413
And then I'll be
looking at holes in
my kitchen forever.

85
00:05:28,514 --> 00:05:31,850
Yeah. I'll bet
you'd much rather look
at the granite guy.

86
00:05:31,951 --> 00:05:34,219
Stop.

87
00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:37,322
All that happened was
he asked me on a date,

88
00:05:37,423 --> 00:05:39,057
Found out I was married,
that's it.

89
00:05:39,158 --> 00:05:43,762
- Right.
But what about the dream?
- The dream was just a dream.

90
00:05:43,863 --> 00:05:45,798
Ian is just a symbol.

91
00:05:47,233 --> 00:05:49,835
Yeah, a sex symbol.
Well, ok!

92
00:05:50,036 --> 00:05:52,705
- I gotta go!
See you guys later.
- Bye, patty.

93
00:05:52,806 --> 00:05:54,473
Bye, tim.

94
00:05:54,574 --> 00:05:58,043
Oh, well, I gotta get to work.
If there is anything
you need, just ask jill.

95
00:05:58,144 --> 00:06:00,979
- Ok.
- Give this guy
whatever he wants.

96
00:06:04,718 --> 00:06:06,385
- Bye.
- Bye.

97
00:06:09,790 --> 00:06:12,424
Well, this is certainly
a coincidence, huh?

98
00:06:12,525 --> 00:06:14,026
Yeah, I'll say!

99
00:06:14,127 --> 00:06:17,229
What's your husband
gonna say when he finds out
I asked you out?

100
00:06:17,330 --> 00:06:19,431
Well, I don't think
I am gonna tell him.

101
00:06:19,532 --> 00:06:23,369
Tim tends to get jealous
and nothing happened,
so what's the point?

102
00:06:23,470 --> 00:06:26,204
If that's the way
to handle it,
you're secret's safe.

103
00:06:26,305 --> 00:06:28,106
I gotta get stuff
out of the truck.

104
00:06:28,207 --> 00:06:31,076
Yeah, I have to work
on this psych paper.

105
00:06:31,177 --> 00:06:34,980
You know, I used to teach
sculpting in college.

106
00:06:35,081 --> 00:06:36,482
- Really?
- Uh-huh.

107
00:06:36,583 --> 00:06:38,484
How did you get
involved in granite?

108
00:06:38,585 --> 00:06:41,820
It pays a lot better,
and I like working
with my hands, you know?

109
00:06:41,921 --> 00:06:43,622
Hmm, lucky us.

110
00:06:51,164 --> 00:06:54,132
Welcome to <i>tool time</i>
<i>on location</i>
<i>from al's living room.</i>

111
00:06:54,233 --> 00:06:56,101
We're gonna show you
how to conserve energy.

112
00:06:56,202 --> 00:07:00,138
Now, a good place to start
would be replacing
all your old insulation.

113
00:07:00,239 --> 00:07:02,908
- I would recommend
that you...
- Heidi?

114
00:07:03,009 --> 00:07:05,177
- Yes?
- Tell us when
the camera is rolling.

115
00:07:05,278 --> 00:07:07,680
Ok!

116
00:07:09,882 --> 00:07:11,817
Hi, I am tim
"the landlord" taylor

117
00:07:11,918 --> 00:07:14,486
And, you all know
my tenant, al borland.

118
00:07:14,587 --> 00:07:17,556
Now, in winter, homes
consume more energy,

119
00:07:17,657 --> 00:07:19,692
Which is why I like...

120
00:07:19,793 --> 00:07:23,796
- ...Double glazed windows.
- And double glazed donuts.

121
00:07:25,365 --> 00:07:28,133
Along with replacing windows,
we came from the basement

122
00:07:28,234 --> 00:07:29,734
Where we put in
furnace filters.

123
00:07:29,869 --> 00:07:31,069
For maximum efficiently

124
00:07:31,170 --> 00:07:33,339
I recommend replace
the filters every 30 days.

125
00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:36,809
Al's on a 30-day cycle.
That explains the bloat.

126
00:07:36,909 --> 00:07:39,678
All right now, next up,
next up we're, uh,

127
00:07:39,779 --> 00:07:45,050
We're gonna look
for the greatest source
of energy loss, air leaks!

128
00:07:45,151 --> 00:07:47,252
You can find one
underneath the front door.

129
00:07:47,354 --> 00:07:50,522
Right, to simply fix that,
put in a door sweep
as a barrier.

130
00:07:50,623 --> 00:07:53,425
- An easy do-it-yourself fix.
- Let's get to work.

131
00:07:53,526 --> 00:07:55,694
Ooh, al,
I see another draft.

132
00:07:56,396 --> 00:07:58,697
[sighs] it's a cold one.

133
00:08:01,501 --> 00:08:04,403
Would you like some
of this old olive loaf?

134
00:08:04,504 --> 00:08:07,573
At least I think
those green things
are olives.

135
00:08:07,674 --> 00:08:10,475
I think I'll stick
with what I brought.

136
00:08:10,577 --> 00:08:13,345
Matter of fact,
would you like some
chicken florentine?

137
00:08:13,446 --> 00:08:16,682
- I got plenty.
- Ooh, that smells great.

138
00:08:16,783 --> 00:08:20,185
- Grab a plate.
- Ok, great. Thanks!

139
00:08:20,286 --> 00:08:22,354
I'm, uh,
not much of a cook.

140
00:08:22,455 --> 00:08:26,758
My meatballs are harder
than these countertops.

141
00:08:26,859 --> 00:08:29,428
I have a killer recipe
for meatballs.

142
00:08:29,529 --> 00:08:32,764
- Really? What do you
put it in it?
- Cayenne and chili peppers.

143
00:08:32,865 --> 00:08:36,701
- That sounds hot.
- Oh, it is hot.
I like hot, don't you?

144
00:08:36,803 --> 00:08:41,640
Yeah, I like hot.
Hot's good, nothing's
wrong with hot.

145
00:08:41,741 --> 00:08:44,543
Well, then you have to try
this jalapeño corn bread.

146
00:08:44,644 --> 00:08:45,644
Oh.

147
00:08:45,745 --> 00:08:47,546
Mm-mmm,
that's really good.

148
00:08:47,647 --> 00:08:49,381
- Isn't it something?
- Mm-hmm.

149
00:08:49,482 --> 00:08:51,583
- That enough?
- You bet.

150
00:08:51,684 --> 00:08:55,955
God, it's nice to have a break
from this stupid paper.

151
00:08:56,056 --> 00:08:58,223
Yeah, you seemed
a little stressed over it.

152
00:08:58,325 --> 00:09:02,694
I have this teacher,
professor nimmelman.
He's impossible to please.

153
00:09:02,795 --> 00:09:05,698
- Norm nimmelman?
- You know him?

154
00:09:05,799 --> 00:09:08,367
Yeah, I play guitar
in a band with him.

155
00:09:08,468 --> 00:09:11,169
Norm nimmelman
is a musician?

156
00:09:11,270 --> 00:09:16,275
Yeah. Well, let's just say
he has an instrument
and sound comes out of it.

157
00:09:19,112 --> 00:09:24,116
Welcome back to our continuing
effort to make al's place
energy efficient.

158
00:09:24,217 --> 00:09:26,651
Thank you, heidi.
We now give you...

159
00:09:26,752 --> 00:09:29,821
<i>[fanfare plays]</i>

160
00:09:30,923 --> 00:09:33,459
[both] the board door!

161
00:09:33,559 --> 00:09:35,660
Now, a board door is
the most effective way

162
00:09:35,761 --> 00:09:37,562
To detect air leaks
in your home.

163
00:09:37,663 --> 00:09:39,999
By creating a vacuum
inside the house,

164
00:09:40,100 --> 00:09:42,234
It pulls outside air
through any cracks.

165
00:09:42,335 --> 00:09:46,405
- Since you can't see air...
- Unless you live
in los angeles.

166
00:09:46,506 --> 00:09:49,975
Oh, that's not pollution,
that's a marine layer!

167
00:09:50,076 --> 00:09:52,978
We're gonna use
this generator
to create smoke

168
00:09:53,079 --> 00:09:56,348
So we can then
see our leaks.

169
00:09:56,449 --> 00:09:58,850
Thank you, tim.
Now have you sealed up
the house,

170
00:09:58,951 --> 00:10:01,086
- All doors, windows, vents?
- You bet I have.

171
00:10:01,187 --> 00:10:02,754
We're ready
to see leaks.

172
00:10:02,855 --> 00:10:05,991
But first off,
let's make sure that
the fireplace flue is shut.

173
00:10:06,092 --> 00:10:09,895
A good way to remember
that is to close the flue,
pull towards you.

174
00:10:09,996 --> 00:10:13,232
Push away,
make fire today.

175
00:10:14,100 --> 00:10:16,301
My grandfather
taught me that.

176
00:10:16,403 --> 00:10:19,604
All right, tim,
why don't you go outside
and crank up the smoke?

177
00:10:19,705 --> 00:10:22,774
- Can I turn on the blower?
- All right.

178
00:10:22,875 --> 00:10:25,544
It's a great control panel.
Look at this bad boy, huh?

179
00:10:25,645 --> 00:10:27,679
[machine whirring]

180
00:10:27,780 --> 00:10:29,148
[whirrs much faster]

181
00:10:29,249 --> 00:10:32,284
You might not want
to tweak it that high.

182
00:10:32,385 --> 00:10:34,786
The faster we tweak,
the faster we find our leak.

183
00:10:34,887 --> 00:10:37,356
My grandma
taught me that one.

184
00:10:39,825 --> 00:10:42,461
All right, now we'll just
seal this up.

185
00:10:42,562 --> 00:10:46,731
And wherever we see smoke,
I'll just mark that
with my adhesive

186
00:10:46,832 --> 00:10:49,968
And we'll caulk
and seal the leak.

187
00:10:50,070 --> 00:10:53,004
All right, here's one.
Pretty common place
for it.

188
00:10:53,106 --> 00:10:55,907
Smoke will come in
under the siding there.

189
00:10:58,111 --> 00:10:59,545
Turn off the fan!

190
00:10:59,645 --> 00:11:03,882
Tim probably wants me
to turn up the fan.
No way!

191
00:11:03,983 --> 00:11:06,918
Al, I was wrong
about the flue.

192
00:11:07,019 --> 00:11:10,289
To close the flue,
it's push away from you...
Close the flue!

193
00:11:10,390 --> 00:11:14,359
Ah, well, boy,
that would defeat
our purpose, wouldn't it?

194
00:11:14,461 --> 00:11:17,829
So we'll, uh, we'll just
close that up there.

195
00:11:17,931 --> 00:11:20,065
Seems to be stuck.

196
00:11:33,213 --> 00:11:36,681
Ok, I'll see ya. Bye!

197
00:11:36,782 --> 00:11:39,318
- Well, I'm back.
- What happened?

198
00:11:39,419 --> 00:11:41,220
- Truck won't start.
- Oh.

199
00:11:41,321 --> 00:11:44,689
Can I use your phone?
I'll call a buddy
and get a lift.

200
00:11:44,790 --> 00:11:47,126
- Where do you live?
- Ferndale.

201
00:11:47,227 --> 00:11:50,329
- Ferndale?
I could give you a ride.
- Ah, you don't have to do that.

202
00:11:50,430 --> 00:11:54,332
After you shared
your lunch with me,
that's the least I can do!

203
00:11:54,433 --> 00:11:57,335
Ok, do you mind if
I leave my tools here?

204
00:11:57,436 --> 00:11:59,204
Uh, yeah, yeah, sure.
Oh, oh!

205
00:11:59,305 --> 00:12:02,974
But cover them up
or tim will want to play
with them all night long.

206
00:12:05,478 --> 00:12:07,679
I gotta get rid
of that truck,

207
00:12:07,780 --> 00:12:11,149
- My girlfriend
told me trade it in.
- Oh, so you have a girlfriend?

208
00:12:11,251 --> 00:12:14,353
Well, not anymore.
She traded me in.

209
00:12:14,454 --> 00:12:18,490
- Ah, she was too good
for me anyway.
- What's that about?

210
00:12:18,591 --> 00:12:21,460
You seem like a great guy...
You're the granite guy!

211
00:12:23,229 --> 00:12:27,165
You seem smart and talented.
Any woman would be lucky
to have you.

212
00:12:27,266 --> 00:12:30,736
That's nice of you to say.
This is my place,
the red one on the right.

213
00:12:30,837 --> 00:12:33,338
Barn red.

214
00:12:33,439 --> 00:12:36,541
- Oh, that is so cool!
- Thanks.

215
00:12:36,642 --> 00:12:39,878
- And thanks for the lift.
- Oh, it's my pleasure.

216
00:12:39,979 --> 00:12:43,048
You know, when I got
to your place this morning

217
00:12:43,149 --> 00:12:45,183
And, you know,
we saw each other again,

218
00:12:45,284 --> 00:12:49,755
I... I was afraid it was
going to be just awfully
uncomfortable all day long.

219
00:12:49,856 --> 00:12:52,658
- But it wasn't, not at all.
- No, it really wasn't.

220
00:12:52,759 --> 00:12:55,927
You know,
we had a nice talk
and a nice lunch and...

221
00:13:01,367 --> 00:13:03,801
What are you doing?
What are you doing?

222
00:13:03,902 --> 00:13:05,803
What I thought
you wanted me to do.

223
00:13:05,904 --> 00:13:08,840
No, no, no, no, no, no.

224
00:13:08,941 --> 00:13:11,476
I just wanted to give you
a ride home, that was it.

225
00:13:11,577 --> 00:13:14,613
Oh, I am sorry.
I couldn't have
misread everything.

226
00:13:14,714 --> 00:13:16,781
Oh, yes, you did.
You did.

227
00:13:16,882 --> 00:13:20,084
- What about the signals
you're sending?
- What signals?

228
00:13:20,185 --> 00:13:23,222
You didn't want
to tell your husband
about me asking you out.

229
00:13:23,323 --> 00:13:25,357
You jumped at the chance
to take me home.

230
00:13:25,458 --> 00:13:28,393
- I did...
- You checked out my butt.

231
00:13:29,228 --> 00:13:32,230
- I did not!
- You did so.

232
00:13:32,331 --> 00:13:33,665
I did not!

233
00:13:33,766 --> 00:13:36,401
How could you tell
if someone's
checking out your butt

234
00:13:36,502 --> 00:13:40,505
If it's, you know,
right in your face.

235
00:13:40,606 --> 00:13:43,041
Well, because
I saw your reflection
in the window

236
00:13:43,142 --> 00:13:45,443
Because I was
checking you out.

237
00:13:45,378 --> 00:13:46,945
Well, you had no business

238
00:13:47,046 --> 00:13:51,182
Checking out a reflection
in a married woman's window.

239
00:13:51,283 --> 00:13:54,352
I know. Look, I'm sorry,
I feel like a idiot.

240
00:13:54,454 --> 00:13:57,456
Tomorrow everything's
going to be strictly business.

241
00:13:57,557 --> 00:14:00,625
Uh, uh. No. I don't think
there should be a tomorrow.

242
00:14:00,726 --> 00:14:02,160
What do you mean?

243
00:14:02,261 --> 00:14:05,564
I'm not going to feel
comfortable having you
finish this.

244
00:14:05,665 --> 00:14:07,432
[sighs] who's going
to install the rest?

245
00:14:07,533 --> 00:14:11,002
Well, I do happen
to be married to tim
"the toolman" taylor.

246
00:14:13,339 --> 00:14:15,440
Well, good luck.

247
00:14:22,081 --> 00:14:26,584
Hi! Why is ian's truck
still out there? You said
he was gone. Where is he?

248
00:14:26,685 --> 00:14:30,488
Ian's truck broke down
and I gave him a ride home.

249
00:14:30,589 --> 00:14:33,525
Look at this,
these beveled edges,
you can't even see a seam.

250
00:14:33,626 --> 00:14:37,963
This guy's work is great!
Imagine what this'll
look like tomorrow.

251
00:14:38,064 --> 00:14:41,266
Pretty much the same.

252
00:14:41,367 --> 00:14:44,736
- Why do you say
something like that?
- I fired ian.

253
00:14:46,705 --> 00:14:50,142
For a minute there
I thought you said you
fired my granite guy.

254
00:14:50,243 --> 00:14:53,845
I did. When I gave him
a lift home,
he came on to me.

255
00:14:54,914 --> 00:14:57,616
You fired the granite guy?

256
00:14:59,785 --> 00:15:01,886
Did you hear what I said?
He came on to me.

257
00:15:02,154 --> 00:15:06,024
- Did he say you have
a nice outfit?
- He kissed me.

258
00:15:06,125 --> 00:15:07,592
[silent mouthing]

259
00:15:09,094 --> 00:15:12,130
- [stammers] what did you do?
- I pushed him away.

260
00:15:12,231 --> 00:15:15,032
- Well, you should've fired him!
- I did fire him!

261
00:15:15,134 --> 00:15:17,836
You fired
the granite guy!

262
00:15:19,605 --> 00:15:22,607
He's here one day
and hitting on my wife.
What is that about?

263
00:15:22,842 --> 00:15:26,811
I should have told you
the whole story the minute
ian walked in the door!

264
00:15:28,414 --> 00:15:30,682
The whole story?

265
00:15:32,117 --> 00:15:34,152
You and ian have...
Have a story?

266
00:15:35,288 --> 00:15:37,222
Well, you remember
when I told you

267
00:15:37,323 --> 00:15:40,192
That a guy at the y
asked me out on a date?

268
00:15:40,293 --> 00:15:42,494
Ian's the guy
that didn't know
you're married?

269
00:15:42,595 --> 00:15:45,830
- Yeah.
- Well, why didn't you
tell me this?

270
00:15:45,931 --> 00:15:49,401
I thought you'd get jealous
and it would make you crazy.

271
00:15:49,502 --> 00:15:51,470
What did it make you, jill?

272
00:15:51,571 --> 00:15:54,106
Now, come on,
you're getting paranoid.

273
00:15:54,207 --> 00:15:55,974
Am I?

274
00:15:56,208 --> 00:15:58,910
I had no idea
that this was gonna
turn out this way.

275
00:15:59,011 --> 00:16:01,513
All I wanted was for you
not to fire another guy

276
00:16:01,614 --> 00:16:04,415
And for us to get
our kitchen finished.

277
00:16:04,516 --> 00:16:06,318
Did you?

278
00:16:07,786 --> 00:16:11,455
Maybe you secretly have
the hots for the granite man.

279
00:16:11,557 --> 00:16:13,925
I don't have
the hots for any man!

280
00:16:14,026 --> 00:16:15,427
Hmm.

281
00:16:16,695 --> 00:16:18,029
Look, you know
what I mean, well...

282
00:16:18,130 --> 00:16:21,166
You... You probably
have plenty of
secrets from me!

283
00:16:21,267 --> 00:16:23,735
No, I don't. You talk
about trust in marriage.

284
00:16:23,836 --> 00:16:26,237
You do something like this
and you break it.

285
00:16:26,338 --> 00:16:28,472
I feel terrible,
I am really sorry.

286
00:16:28,573 --> 00:16:29,974
Are you?

287
00:16:32,411 --> 00:16:35,213
Or maybe inside
you're jumping
for joy? Huh? Huh?

288
00:16:35,314 --> 00:16:39,117
Maybe you and ian
are just spinning a web
of twisted little lies.

289
00:16:39,218 --> 00:16:41,619
And I am just your prawn.

290
00:16:47,326 --> 00:16:51,462
Tim... A prawn
is a big shrimp.

291
00:16:53,165 --> 00:16:57,001
Right.
You can't play chess
with a crustacean.

292
00:16:59,105 --> 00:17:00,939
What I am asking you is,

293
00:17:01,040 --> 00:17:04,042
How honest is
a person supposed to be
in relationship?

294
00:17:04,143 --> 00:17:06,845
[wilson] I always believed
in being totally honest.

295
00:17:07,079 --> 00:17:10,147
- You have?
- I haven't had
a decent relationship

296
00:17:10,249 --> 00:17:12,350
In over 20 years.

297
00:17:12,451 --> 00:17:15,653
[sighs] so, maybe it's not
such a good idea
to be totally honest.

298
00:17:15,754 --> 00:17:17,756
Well, it depends
on the relationship.

299
00:17:17,857 --> 00:17:20,158
What made you think
you couldn't be honest?

300
00:17:20,259 --> 00:17:24,229
Well, I told myself
it was because I thought
he would get jealous.

301
00:17:24,330 --> 00:17:26,798
- There might be
more to it than that.
- Ah.

302
00:17:26,899 --> 00:17:29,701
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

303
00:17:29,802 --> 00:17:32,937
You know, I am reminded
of the english writer
aleister crowley

304
00:17:33,038 --> 00:17:38,209
Who said that
"falsehood is invariably
the child of fear."

305
00:17:38,310 --> 00:17:40,645
What am I afraid of?

306
00:17:40,746 --> 00:17:42,347
I don't know.

307
00:17:42,448 --> 00:17:45,750
Maybe if tim knew
that I was attracted
to ian...

308
00:17:45,751 --> 00:17:48,753
- He would love you less?
- Well, yeah.

309
00:17:48,854 --> 00:17:51,689
I mean,
what kind of a person
does that make me?

310
00:17:51,790 --> 00:17:53,424
A human person.

311
00:17:53,525 --> 00:17:57,295
Well, I was extremely
human today.

312
00:17:57,396 --> 00:18:01,599
I even snuck a peek
at this guy's butt.

313
00:18:06,939 --> 00:18:09,074
Well, jill,
that's no big deal.

314
00:18:09,175 --> 00:18:11,943
If I had a nickel
for every married woman
at the library

315
00:18:12,044 --> 00:18:16,014
Who checked out my butt,
I could pay everybody's
overdue fines.

316
00:18:16,815 --> 00:18:18,183
Well, I wish that I could,

317
00:18:18,284 --> 00:18:20,151
You know, go ahead
and be honest with him

318
00:18:20,252 --> 00:18:22,153
And tell him
I was attracted to ian.

319
00:18:22,254 --> 00:18:23,688
Maybe you should.

320
00:18:23,789 --> 00:18:26,291
You know, when it comes
to the really big stuff,

321
00:18:26,392 --> 00:18:29,994
- Tim doesn't keep
any secrets from me.
- Or me!

322
00:18:35,134 --> 00:18:37,202
Tim?

323
00:18:38,971 --> 00:18:40,671
I know,
you're still mad at me.

324
00:18:40,772 --> 00:18:43,141
You see the shine
on this stone?

325
00:18:43,242 --> 00:18:47,579
Your stud-muffin must
have spent three hours
polishing this thing.

326
00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:49,481
Tim, I'm really sorry.

327
00:18:49,581 --> 00:18:51,416
I should have been
up front with you.

328
00:18:51,517 --> 00:18:53,118
Yes, you should have.

329
00:18:54,253 --> 00:18:58,289
I want us to have
a trusting marriage.

330
00:18:58,390 --> 00:19:00,958
I'm going to be more honest
with you about everything.

331
00:19:01,194 --> 00:19:03,494
- You are?
- Yeah.

332
00:19:04,763 --> 00:19:06,397
- About ian...
- About ian,

333
00:19:06,499 --> 00:19:08,833
Are you really
attracted to that guy?

334
00:19:08,934 --> 00:19:10,435
Initially or today?

335
00:19:10,536 --> 00:19:14,038
Any time since
the dawn of civilization.

336
00:19:14,606 --> 00:19:17,042
Yes.

337
00:19:16,908 --> 00:19:19,076
How attracted were you?

338
00:19:19,177 --> 00:19:22,580
Not enough to even
consider putting
our marriage in jeopardy.

339
00:19:22,881 --> 00:19:24,449
But you were
still attracted to him.

340
00:19:24,550 --> 00:19:26,217
Yes, I was.

341
00:19:27,753 --> 00:19:29,887
You've been attracted
to other people?

342
00:19:29,988 --> 00:19:34,125
Yeah, but no one
with his type of skills.

343
00:19:38,164 --> 00:19:39,697
Come on, tim.

344
00:19:39,798 --> 00:19:42,600
Isn't there somebody
we know you've been
attracted to?

345
00:19:42,701 --> 00:19:44,402
- No.
- Come on, tim.

346
00:19:44,503 --> 00:19:46,704
- Maybe. Patty.
- Who? Patty!

347
00:19:47,940 --> 00:19:50,741
- She's kinda hot.
- You think patty is hot?

348
00:19:50,842 --> 00:19:52,977
Warm.

349
00:19:53,078 --> 00:19:54,946
I shouldn't have told you.
Why did I?

350
00:19:55,047 --> 00:20:00,084
No you should have...
'cause these feelings
are perfectly natural.

351
00:20:00,185 --> 00:20:03,888
All that matters
is that we are
committed to each other.

352
00:20:10,062 --> 00:20:12,029
- Can I ask you something?
- What?

353
00:20:12,131 --> 00:20:13,898
- Now go with me on this.
- Ok, ok.

354
00:20:13,999 --> 00:20:16,268
- Let's say
you weren't married.
- Yeah.

355
00:20:16,369 --> 00:20:18,936
Who would you pick,
me or slab boy?

356
00:20:22,275 --> 00:20:24,942
Did you drop some polish
on the floor there?

357
00:20:29,415 --> 00:20:31,649
I'd pick you.

358
00:20:33,285 --> 00:20:35,286
Would you?

359
00:20:41,626 --> 00:20:43,061
[knocking on door]

360
00:20:46,699 --> 00:20:48,900
[grunting]

361
00:20:51,870 --> 00:20:54,606
[muttering]

362
00:20:57,676 --> 00:20:59,744
[grunting]

363
00:21:01,747 --> 00:21:05,183
[grunting]

364
00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:09,087
[grunting]

365
00:21:11,957 --> 00:21:13,791
[grunting]

366
00:21:17,429 --> 00:21:18,797
[short grunt]

367
00:21:22,668 --> 00:21:24,235
[grunts]

368
00:21:24,603 --> 00:21:26,370
[grunts]

369
00:21:29,175 --> 00:21:31,810
[grunting laughter]

370
00:21:50,328 --> 00:21:52,030
- [crash]
- [groan]