1
00:00:00,488 --> 00:00:02,655
Does everybody know
what time it is?
2
00:00:02,756 --> 00:00:04,857
- Tool time!
- That's right!
3
00:00:04,958 --> 00:00:09,362
Binford tools is proud to
present tim the tool man taylor!
4
00:00:13,500 --> 00:00:15,834
Great.
Thank you all. Hey!
5
00:00:15,935 --> 00:00:20,506
Whoo! Boy, nice audience.
Thank you, heidi. Thank you,
everyone.
6
00:00:20,607 --> 00:00:23,576
Welcome to tool time.
I am tim the tool man taylor.
7
00:00:23,677 --> 00:00:27,313
But, of course, you know that.
That's probably why you tuned
in.
8
00:00:27,414 --> 00:00:31,016
And you all know my assistant,
al borland. Give it up for al
here.
9
00:00:31,117 --> 00:00:34,119
Thank you. Thanks a lot.
10
00:00:34,221 --> 00:00:38,957
As you might have noticed
by our clever sign, it is
hot rod week on tool time.
11
00:00:39,059 --> 00:00:40,959
And we are just
counting down the days
12
00:00:41,061 --> 00:00:44,229
When I finish my '46 ford
convertible right here.
13
00:00:44,330 --> 00:00:47,500
We're calling this
our countdown to coolness.
14
00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:49,768
[engine revs]
15
00:00:51,104 --> 00:00:53,038
We never devote a week
to my car.
16
00:00:53,140 --> 00:00:56,508
That'd be exciting. Tool time
salute to old station wagons.
17
00:00:56,609 --> 00:00:58,610
[yawns]
18
00:01:00,213 --> 00:01:03,282
- Can we get on
with the first segment?
- Why don't we?
19
00:01:03,383 --> 00:01:06,552
There's been big historical
moments in all of television.
20
00:01:06,653 --> 00:01:09,388
Remember the first step
on the moon? Right in a...
21
00:01:09,490 --> 00:01:11,624
Oh, yuck!
22
00:01:12,926 --> 00:01:14,694
The berlin wall
falling down.
23
00:01:14,795 --> 00:01:18,898
[german accent] those big
bricks, they hurt me, dude!
Look out!
24
00:01:18,999 --> 00:01:23,970
But today we're gonna break
all records in the history
of television.
25
00:01:24,070 --> 00:01:27,039
I'm gonna pick out the color
of my convertible top. Huh!
26
00:01:29,209 --> 00:01:34,313
So why don't we bring out
the man who will show tim
all of his color choices,
27
00:01:34,414 --> 00:01:38,584
Auto design specialist,
george sparky henderson!
28
00:01:40,287 --> 00:01:42,488
- Hey, al.
- Welcome to the show.
29
00:01:42,589 --> 00:01:44,556
- Thanks for coming, sparky.
- Tim.
30
00:01:44,658 --> 00:01:48,294
It's an honor, your having me
here as part of this historic
moment.
31
00:01:48,395 --> 00:01:50,829
Let's take a look
at some colors.
32
00:01:50,930 --> 00:01:53,933
Love to, tim.
We've got lots of samples here.
33
00:01:54,034 --> 00:01:58,104
But our wheel, thank you, heidi,
is going to help determine
34
00:01:58,205 --> 00:02:00,773
What is the best color
for the top of your car.
35
00:02:00,941 --> 00:02:07,045
Now, we have here the color
that you've used for the
exterior, a ruby pearl.
36
00:02:07,147 --> 00:02:09,381
- Excellent choice, tim.
- Well, yes.
37
00:02:09,482 --> 00:02:14,954
Then the interior, tim.
You chose rhone, so we
line up these two colors,
38
00:02:15,054 --> 00:02:19,959
And then the inner wheel will
show which color will best
complement these two.
39
00:02:20,059 --> 00:02:25,464
- The burgundy's
awfully tasteful.
- Wrong!
40
00:02:25,632 --> 00:02:28,300
Now, you have an awful lot
of options here, tim.
41
00:02:28,401 --> 00:02:31,237
Stop right there. I think
I know exactly what I want.
42
00:02:31,338 --> 00:02:33,705
You still haven't seen
all of your options.
43
00:02:33,806 --> 00:02:36,308
Once I make a decision, al,
I've made my decision.
44
00:02:36,409 --> 00:02:39,378
That's right, al. When a man
sees something, he buys it.
45
00:02:39,479 --> 00:02:42,981
- That's it. Case closed.
- Not like a woman
buying a purse.
46
00:02:43,082 --> 00:02:45,984
"I don't know.
Does this go with my house?"
47
00:02:46,085 --> 00:02:48,820
All right. So what color
are you going with?
48
00:02:48,921 --> 00:02:50,756
I'm gonna go with...
49
00:02:50,857 --> 00:02:53,925
- Klaus, a drum roll, please.
- [drum roll]
50
00:02:54,026 --> 00:02:56,495
I'm gonna go with honky.
51
00:02:58,264 --> 00:02:59,498
- Honky?
- White.
52
00:02:59,599 --> 00:03:01,467
Oh, white, white. Yes.
53
00:03:01,568 --> 00:03:06,805
I get that. White. Well,
now, that's a very bold choice.
54
00:03:06,907 --> 00:03:09,041
But tan is very nice.
55
00:03:09,142 --> 00:03:13,746
No, no. Absolutely positively
going with white... Or beige.
56
00:03:13,847 --> 00:03:16,381
So much for a man
being able to make up his mind.
57
00:03:16,482 --> 00:03:19,485
Well, you have an awful lot
of beiges to choose from.
58
00:03:19,586 --> 00:03:21,854
Ecru. Now,
there's a fun beige, hm?
59
00:03:21,955 --> 00:03:24,624
- Let's not forget eggshell.
- Oh, I love eggshell.
60
00:03:24,725 --> 00:03:28,894
- Snappy, snappy, snappy.
- What do you think
about cashew?
61
00:03:28,995 --> 00:03:33,532
Al, we're talking about
convertible tops, not what
you store for the winter.
62
00:04:24,084 --> 00:04:28,320
Sparky asked me to call.
We're looking for a fabric
for a new convertible top.
63
00:04:28,421 --> 00:04:30,656
Well, is big jim there?
64
00:04:30,757 --> 00:04:33,292
How about spanish bob?
65
00:04:33,393 --> 00:04:35,961
One-eyed ned?
66
00:04:36,062 --> 00:04:39,398
It sounds like
he's calling a pirate ship.
67
00:04:39,666 --> 00:04:43,301
Hi, guys. You'll never
guess what happened today.
68
00:04:43,436 --> 00:04:46,104
- You bought me a ferrari.
- Even better.
69
00:04:47,106 --> 00:04:50,108
I was asked to be on that
talk show, talk to me.
70
00:04:50,209 --> 00:04:52,277
- I'm gonna be on television.
- Not now.
71
00:04:52,379 --> 00:04:55,814
I'm talking to one-eyed ned.
He's got a bum ear.
72
00:04:55,915 --> 00:05:00,085
No, no, no!
I have no gum in my rear!
73
00:05:00,186 --> 00:05:04,523
Look, when big jim comes,
just have him call me. Thanks.
74
00:05:04,624 --> 00:05:08,294
Now, what do you wanna...?!
What would you like to watch
on television?
75
00:05:08,395 --> 00:05:10,763
No, I'm gonna
be on television.
76
00:05:10,864 --> 00:05:12,865
Did you witness
a crime or something?
77
00:05:12,966 --> 00:05:15,834
No. I'm gonna be on barbara
canfield's talk show.
78
00:05:15,936 --> 00:05:19,104
This particular segment
is called women on top.
79
00:05:19,205 --> 00:05:20,939
I rented that once.
80
00:05:21,141 --> 00:05:25,477
It's about professional women
who want it all.
81
00:05:25,578 --> 00:05:27,713
That's the one.
82
00:05:27,814 --> 00:05:29,715
Ok, I won't bore you
with the details.
83
00:05:29,816 --> 00:05:31,416
Come on.
Tell us all the details.
84
00:05:31,518 --> 00:05:34,487
- How much are they paying you?
- I'm not doing this for money.
85
00:05:34,588 --> 00:05:39,024
This is an honor. I'm gonna
be on a panel with two very
distinguished women.
86
00:05:39,125 --> 00:05:41,493
One's an economist.
The other one's a doctor.
87
00:05:41,594 --> 00:05:46,031
Wow. You really balance out
the group. Part-time student
with no income.
88
00:05:47,967 --> 00:05:51,337
The chairman of the psychology
department recommended me.
89
00:05:51,437 --> 00:05:53,739
They wanted somebody
who'd raised a family
90
00:05:53,840 --> 00:05:56,075
And is about
to re-enter the work force.
91
00:05:56,176 --> 00:05:58,377
That is great.
What do you think, guys?
92
00:05:58,478 --> 00:06:01,947
- Yeah, it's cool.
When's the show?
- Four o'clock tomorrow.
93
00:06:02,048 --> 00:06:06,418
Oh, too bad. I gotta go
with sparky to check out
some car colors.
94
00:06:06,519 --> 00:06:08,654
It's very important.
95
00:06:09,556 --> 00:06:11,556
Well, what am I thinking?
96
00:06:11,657 --> 00:06:16,262
Not as important as watching
my wife on a show talking
about women's issues.
97
00:06:20,700 --> 00:06:23,869
- What are you writing, benny?
- A birthday note to my mom.
98
00:06:23,970 --> 00:06:26,105
How do you spell I.O.U.?
99
00:06:27,941 --> 00:06:30,442
- Hey, guys.
- Hey, timmy.
100
00:06:30,543 --> 00:06:32,277
Oh, tim,
what's it gonna be?
101
00:06:32,378 --> 00:06:36,014
- The dusty sand
or the sandy beach?
- What's going on?
102
00:06:36,116 --> 00:06:39,017
We've been all over town
fabric shopping.
103
00:06:39,119 --> 00:06:40,352
For my top.
104
00:06:40,453 --> 00:06:44,590
I always saw you in a slinky
off-the-shoulder number.
105
00:06:44,691 --> 00:06:47,626
Convertible top
for my car, you idiot.
106
00:06:47,894 --> 00:06:49,995
You thought
of a toasted marshmallow?
107
00:06:50,096 --> 00:06:51,997
Not as often
as you have, al.
108
00:06:52,098 --> 00:06:55,300
I'm late for my step-aerobics
class. I'll leave this here.
109
00:06:55,401 --> 00:06:57,769
Make a decision.
I'll be back in a half an hour.
110
00:06:57,870 --> 00:07:00,506
So, tim, we haven't seen
much of you lately.
111
00:07:00,607 --> 00:07:02,808
Should I take
that personally?
112
00:07:02,909 --> 00:07:06,478
Yes. I'm working really hard
on my hot rod.
113
00:07:06,580 --> 00:07:08,814
I was trying to get
this thing done by Friday.
114
00:07:09,082 --> 00:07:12,251
You must have been busy.
You haven't spent any money
here in weeks.
115
00:07:12,352 --> 00:07:15,321
I had to cancel
my trip to hawaii.
116
00:07:15,422 --> 00:07:18,623
I just talked to dolores.
She didn't say anything
about a trip.
117
00:07:18,724 --> 00:07:21,393
Dolores wasn't invited.
118
00:07:21,494 --> 00:07:26,965
Besides, she's on her own
vacation. She's scaring
the bulls in pamplona.
119
00:07:28,435 --> 00:07:31,303
Oh, man. Look at the time.
I'm supposed to watch jill
on tv.
120
00:07:31,404 --> 00:07:36,041
- Tell sparky I'll be back
in an hour.
- Hey, watch it here.
121
00:07:36,142 --> 00:07:38,477
- Hey, good idea.
- What's she doing?
122
00:07:38,578 --> 00:07:42,981
She's on that talk show,
talk to me. The segment's
called women on top.
123
00:07:43,082 --> 00:07:46,718
That was a video,
wasn't it?
124
00:07:52,592 --> 00:07:56,361
And welcome to talk to me.
Today's topic is women on top.
125
00:07:56,463 --> 00:07:58,697
We'll meet women
who had it all, gave it up,
126
00:07:58,798 --> 00:08:01,467
Got it back, and are
doing it better than ever.
127
00:08:01,568 --> 00:08:04,436
This looks good.
128
00:08:04,537 --> 00:08:07,572
My guests today are kathleen
fitzsimmons, mother of two,
129
00:08:07,674 --> 00:08:10,208
Now an economist
with allied bank.
130
00:08:10,310 --> 00:08:15,280
Jill taylor, mother of three,
just about to complete her
masters in psychology.
131
00:08:15,381 --> 00:08:19,318
And dr. Diane peck, mother
of two, now a pediatrician.
132
00:08:19,419 --> 00:08:22,220
This reminds me
of my first appearance on tv.
133
00:08:22,322 --> 00:08:25,557
Yeah, when you set
your hair on fire.
134
00:08:25,658 --> 00:08:29,461
My first question is
how did your husbands react
135
00:08:29,562 --> 00:08:33,365
When you told them you were
going to re-enter the work
force? Diane?
136
00:08:33,466 --> 00:08:38,137
It's amazing. I get a job with
one of the top pediatric groups
in detroit
137
00:08:38,238 --> 00:08:42,607
And all husband could say was,
"who's gonna cook for me?"
138
00:08:42,708 --> 00:08:45,177
What's wrong with that?
139
00:08:45,278 --> 00:08:47,580
Jill, how did
your husband react
140
00:08:47,681 --> 00:08:50,381
When you told him
you were going back to school?
141
00:08:50,483 --> 00:08:51,850
Tim?
142
00:08:51,951 --> 00:08:54,319
If that's your husband.
143
00:08:55,221 --> 00:09:00,392
Well, as memory serves,
he was very supportive.
144
00:09:00,493 --> 00:09:03,261
Boy, I wish
I had a husband like yours.
145
00:09:03,362 --> 00:09:05,964
- Mine's a total caveman.
- Mine, too.
146
00:09:05,865 --> 00:09:10,635
When I told him I wanted
my own career, he couldn't
even articulate words.
147
00:09:10,737 --> 00:09:15,407
- He just kind of went...
- [grunts]
148
00:09:17,911 --> 00:09:21,646
- How did you know that?
- Lucky guess.
149
00:09:21,747 --> 00:09:26,251
What kind of dirt you got
on jill? She's making you
look good.
150
00:09:26,352 --> 00:09:31,522
What do you think it would take
for me to get a date with the
host?
151
00:09:31,624 --> 00:09:34,559
A miracle not
even god could pull off.
152
00:09:35,962 --> 00:09:37,829
Jill,
you're the psychologist.
153
00:09:37,930 --> 00:09:40,732
What is going on under
the surface with these guys?
154
00:09:41,034 --> 00:09:44,036
Well, it's very common.
Often a man feels threatened
155
00:09:44,137 --> 00:09:47,139
When a woman usurps his role
as hunter-gatherer.
156
00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:49,808
That's why their husbands
reacted the way they did.
157
00:09:49,909 --> 00:09:53,378
Why is your husband so
understanding, the exception
to the rule?
158
00:09:53,479 --> 00:09:57,416
Well, tim is one of a kind.
I mean, tim breaks all the
rules.
159
00:09:57,517 --> 00:09:59,685
Tim breaks everything.
160
00:10:04,056 --> 00:10:06,357
Upon closer inspection,
jill's looking...
161
00:10:06,458 --> 00:10:09,861
Hey! Hey!
162
00:10:09,962 --> 00:10:14,166
You're very lucky to have
a husband who's made the
transition easier.
163
00:10:14,267 --> 00:10:17,703
I wish my experience had been
a walk in the park like jill's.
164
00:10:17,804 --> 00:10:19,471
It wasn't exactly...
165
00:10:19,572 --> 00:10:23,609
In a perfect world, I guess
we'd all be skipping through
life like jill.
166
00:10:23,710 --> 00:10:28,113
I'm not skipping through life.
I mean, I've struggled like
the rest of you.
167
00:10:28,214 --> 00:10:32,551
Believe me,
my husband is far from perfect.
168
00:10:32,652 --> 00:10:35,120
Look out. Incoming.
169
00:10:36,856 --> 00:10:40,993
What did your husband say when
you told him you wanted to be
a psychologist?
170
00:10:41,193 --> 00:10:43,862
- His exact words?
- Yeah.
171
00:10:43,963 --> 00:10:48,199
"what for? You should
become a turret lathe operator."
172
00:10:48,300 --> 00:10:51,670
- Yeah.
- They make good money!
173
00:10:51,771 --> 00:10:53,772
I never talk to him
about what I'm studying.
174
00:10:53,873 --> 00:10:55,807
He thinks psychology
is totally bogus.
175
00:10:55,975 --> 00:10:58,210
- So you must
be pretty resentful.
- Oh, no.
176
00:10:58,311 --> 00:11:01,847
Don't misconstrue what
I'm saying as anger towards
my husband.
177
00:11:01,948 --> 00:11:05,284
I could never
be angry at a man
178
00:11:05,384 --> 00:11:09,021
Who's in such
a vulnerable state.
179
00:11:09,122 --> 00:11:11,190
[groans]
180
00:11:13,393 --> 00:11:16,628
Exactly what do you mean
by a vulnerable state?
181
00:11:16,729 --> 00:11:19,765
Well,
he's in mid-life crisis.
182
00:11:19,866 --> 00:11:23,802
I mean,
he's emotionally fragile.
183
00:11:25,739 --> 00:11:29,541
Oh, you poor
hunter-gatherer, you.
184
00:11:30,777 --> 00:11:33,846
Let me get you a tissue.
185
00:11:33,947 --> 00:11:36,181
Would a hug help?
186
00:11:37,784 --> 00:11:40,885
It's really wonderful
that you can be so empathetic.
187
00:11:40,986 --> 00:11:43,455
Well, I have to be.
Tim is emotionally off-center.
188
00:11:43,556 --> 00:11:46,491
He's...
Crying out for help.
189
00:11:48,495 --> 00:11:51,329
Hey, you guys
hear something?
190
00:11:51,430 --> 00:11:53,966
Help! Help!
191
00:11:56,135 --> 00:11:59,638
It's very interesting the way
that this manifests itself.
192
00:11:59,739 --> 00:12:01,106
Tell us.
193
00:12:01,207 --> 00:12:03,242
He comes up
with all kinds of crazy ideas.
194
00:12:03,343 --> 00:12:05,611
He wanted to buy
and move up to a hunting lodge.
195
00:12:05,711 --> 00:12:08,046
- With the kids?
The whole family?
- Yeah.
196
00:12:07,980 --> 00:12:12,217
- And he wanted to fly
into outer space.
- Oh, now, that is crazy.
197
00:12:12,318 --> 00:12:16,588
In the middle of writing
my masters thesis,
198
00:12:16,689 --> 00:12:19,658
He decided he wanted
to have another baby.
199
00:12:19,758 --> 00:12:23,928
- At your age?
That's a lot of nerve.
- Oh, you poor thing.
200
00:12:24,029 --> 00:12:27,265
No, no, no, no, wait.
No, he's the one that's
suffering.
201
00:12:27,366 --> 00:12:28,700
That's why it is
so important
202
00:12:28,801 --> 00:12:30,702
For me to listen to
all of his ideas,
203
00:12:30,803 --> 00:12:33,572
No matter how stupid
or pathetic.
204
00:12:33,673 --> 00:12:37,676
I think we should give a big
hand to the woman who has it all
205
00:12:37,777 --> 00:12:42,014
In spite of the man who wants
to take it away and keep it
for himself.
206
00:12:50,656 --> 00:12:53,258
That went well.
207
00:12:53,359 --> 00:12:55,493
Man, dolores rags on me,
208
00:12:55,594 --> 00:12:58,964
But it's in the privacy
of a bowling alley.
209
00:12:59,065 --> 00:13:01,299
At least this is on
late in the afternoon.
210
00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:05,971
Who's gonna watch the stupid
thing? Eight people watch this
damn thing.
211
00:13:06,072 --> 00:13:08,106
- Tim.
- What is it?
212
00:13:08,207 --> 00:13:10,608
I saw what jill said
about you on the tv.
213
00:13:10,709 --> 00:13:15,280
- Where?
- The guys in the gym
felt your pain.
214
00:13:15,381 --> 00:13:18,549
A lot of them tried
to cover up by laughing.
215
00:13:20,386 --> 00:13:22,420
Were you one of them,
sparky?
216
00:13:22,521 --> 00:13:24,689
I'd rather not say.
217
00:13:38,704 --> 00:13:43,275
- Hi, guys.
- Hey, mom.
Great job on the show.
218
00:13:43,376 --> 00:13:48,146
Really? So you don't think
that I went overboard?
219
00:13:48,247 --> 00:13:53,919
Well, it's hard to say.
Why don't you ask your
stupid, pathetic husband?
220
00:13:55,521 --> 00:13:56,922
Is he upset?
221
00:13:57,023 --> 00:13:59,258
Never came home
to watch the show.
222
00:13:59,359 --> 00:14:02,627
- Oh, thank god.
- We taped it.
You want us to hide it?
223
00:14:02,728 --> 00:14:04,929
No, I want you to burn it.
224
00:14:08,668 --> 00:14:11,069
Hello, jill.
225
00:14:12,138 --> 00:14:14,372
Goodbye, mom.
226
00:14:18,577 --> 00:14:22,713
So I heard that you never made
it home to watch the show.
227
00:14:22,814 --> 00:14:24,583
No, I didn't make it home.
228
00:14:24,684 --> 00:14:26,584
That's ok. It was really
not interesting.
229
00:14:26,786 --> 00:14:28,586
- You don't think?
- No.
230
00:14:28,687 --> 00:14:32,357
I was able to catch it at
the hardware store in front
of all my friends.
231
00:14:33,792 --> 00:14:37,128
How are they doing? You know,
I really have been missing
benny.
232
00:14:37,229 --> 00:14:40,065
Benny's really great.
He's been laughing a lot lately.
233
00:14:40,166 --> 00:14:42,134
They've all been
laughing a lot.
234
00:14:42,235 --> 00:14:44,469
They thought your performance
was really funny.
235
00:14:44,570 --> 00:14:49,040
You should remember some
of the things you've said
on tool time about women.
236
00:14:49,142 --> 00:14:51,876
Such as women
aren't decisive,
237
00:14:51,977 --> 00:14:55,547
Uh, my wife this,
my wife that. [mimics nagging]
238
00:14:56,482 --> 00:14:59,017
I am paid to be a character
on tool time.
239
00:14:59,118 --> 00:15:02,721
Your character just happens
to be married to a character
named jill?
240
00:15:02,822 --> 00:15:05,156
Jill's a very common name.
241
00:15:06,592 --> 00:15:08,660
The jill you said
drools in her sleep
242
00:15:08,761 --> 00:15:11,663
And the jill you said had bad
morning breath was this jill.
243
00:15:11,764 --> 00:15:14,299
The only two times
I've mentioned your name.
244
00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:17,668
You said I was suffering
a mid-life crisis, told
everybody that,
245
00:15:17,803 --> 00:15:20,105
That it was stupid
to want another child.
246
00:15:20,206 --> 00:15:21,739
You called me fragile.
247
00:15:23,208 --> 00:15:26,778
I was just trying to get
a psychological perspective
on men in general.
248
00:15:26,879 --> 00:15:28,546
I didn't mean you.
249
00:15:28,781 --> 00:15:31,016
The only one
you mentioned was me.
250
00:15:31,117 --> 00:15:35,486
I wasn't talking about you
specifically. I was referring
to the global you.
251
00:15:35,587 --> 00:15:38,156
- Oh, yeah. The global me.
- Yeah.
252
00:15:38,257 --> 00:15:42,760
Well, now the global me
is walking around without
any globes.
253
00:15:45,831 --> 00:15:49,567
That's why it's so important
that I listen to all of his
ideas,
254
00:15:49,668 --> 00:15:52,470
No matter
how stupid or pathetic.
255
00:15:52,571 --> 00:15:54,773
[rewinds video]
256
00:15:54,874 --> 00:15:59,177
...That I listen to all of his
ideas, no matter how stupid
or pathetic.
257
00:16:00,212 --> 00:16:02,280
What was I thinking?
258
00:16:02,381 --> 00:16:04,782
[wilson]
oh, oh, oh, oh...
259
00:16:12,224 --> 00:16:14,559
Wilson, is that you?
260
00:16:14,660 --> 00:16:19,264
Oh! I am so sorry, neighborette.
Good thing I wasn't juggling
chain saws.
261
00:16:19,365 --> 00:16:20,398
Yeah.
262
00:16:20,499 --> 00:16:23,301
- I didn't know you juggled.
- Oh, yes, indeedy.
263
00:16:23,402 --> 00:16:27,038
I'm a little bit rusty.
[groans]
264
00:16:27,139 --> 00:16:29,674
But in my younger days...
265
00:16:31,243 --> 00:16:33,378
I worked in the circus.
266
00:16:34,713 --> 00:16:37,182
I roomed
with a two-headed man.
267
00:16:37,283 --> 00:16:40,051
Did you split
the utilities three ways?
268
00:16:40,152 --> 00:16:41,986
No, five ways.
269
00:16:42,087 --> 00:16:45,990
We also lived with nicky
the lobster boy and margo
the human corkscrew.
270
00:16:46,091 --> 00:16:49,227
I'm rooming with
tim the ticked-off tool man.
271
00:16:49,328 --> 00:16:52,430
I was on a talk show
and I said some things
I shouldn't have said.
272
00:16:52,532 --> 00:16:55,066
Well, tim's done that
to you on tool time.
273
00:16:55,167 --> 00:16:58,737
Yeah, but I said
that he was stupid and pathetic.
274
00:16:58,838 --> 00:17:01,773
Oh, my, my, my!
What caused you to do that?
275
00:17:01,874 --> 00:17:05,110
I don't know. All these women
were trashing their husbands.
276
00:17:05,211 --> 00:17:09,514
And I didn't wanna do that,
you know. I wanted to explain
tim's behavior.
277
00:17:09,615 --> 00:17:11,682
Well, who were these women?
278
00:17:11,783 --> 00:17:14,085
They were very successful
professional women.
279
00:17:14,186 --> 00:17:16,788
One was a doctor.
The other was an economist.
280
00:17:16,889 --> 00:17:19,023
Mm-hm, mm-hm, mm-hm.
281
00:17:19,124 --> 00:17:22,059
Oh, I see
what you're saying.
282
00:17:24,997 --> 00:17:27,565
All I said was,
"mm-hm, mm-hm, mm-hm."
283
00:17:27,666 --> 00:17:30,034
But what you meant
was that I was analyzing tim
284
00:17:30,135 --> 00:17:32,570
Was because I was insecure
around these women
285
00:17:32,672 --> 00:17:35,707
And needed to show off
how much I knew about psychology
286
00:17:35,808 --> 00:17:38,310
Mm-hm, mm-hm, mm-hm.
287
00:17:38,411 --> 00:17:40,644
You make another
good point.
288
00:17:42,180 --> 00:17:46,284
I mean, I was validated for what
so I went on and on and on and o
289
00:17:46,385 --> 00:17:49,187
Mm-hm, mm-hm, mm-hm.
290
00:17:50,056 --> 00:17:53,091
I sold tim out
to make myself look good.
291
00:17:53,192 --> 00:17:55,226
Mm.
292
00:17:55,327 --> 00:17:59,164
[sighs] wow. You're really
tough on me sometimes, wilson.
293
00:18:01,733 --> 00:18:04,735
But you don't make me
feel judged. You know?
294
00:18:04,837 --> 00:18:07,471
You are just a genius.
How do you do that?
295
00:18:07,572 --> 00:18:10,041
I just tell it like it is.
296
00:18:16,515 --> 00:18:18,783
- Hi.
- Hi there.
297
00:18:18,884 --> 00:18:21,119
How are you doing?
298
00:18:21,220 --> 00:18:23,922
Not as good as the woman
that had it all, got it back,
299
00:18:24,023 --> 00:18:27,025
Dumped it on the ground
and rubbed my nose in it.
300
00:18:29,528 --> 00:18:30,929
What's all this?
301
00:18:31,130 --> 00:18:33,265
I know I shouldn't
have said what I did,
302
00:18:33,366 --> 00:18:37,269
So I cooked your favorite meal
as a sort of peace offering.
303
00:18:39,305 --> 00:18:41,773
Hm. Bratwurst, knackwurst.
304
00:18:41,874 --> 00:18:45,944
And as an appetizer,
liverwurst.
305
00:18:46,045 --> 00:18:49,581
I guess you could say
this is my "wurst" meal.
306
00:18:50,883 --> 00:18:54,686
- I say that
about all your meals.
- Yeah, I know.
307
00:18:54,787 --> 00:18:57,755
I didn't mean to talk about
our private life on television.
308
00:18:57,856 --> 00:19:01,158
I guess once I got surrounded
by all those successful women,
309
00:19:01,260 --> 00:19:05,029
My self-esteem issues were
triggered and I wanted to
impress them.
310
00:19:05,130 --> 00:19:08,032
- So I overcompensated by...
- Honey, honey, honey.
311
00:19:08,133 --> 00:19:11,002
Back the freud fairlane
up here.
312
00:19:11,103 --> 00:19:14,739
You got carried away.
You were trying to show off
for the girls.
313
00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:18,576
- I was the butt of your tirade.
- Yeah, that's right.
You got it.
314
00:19:18,677 --> 00:19:22,380
I do it all the time on tool
time. Now I know how you feel.
315
00:19:24,115 --> 00:19:26,517
So you're not gonna
hold this against me?
316
00:19:26,618 --> 00:19:30,822
No, I'm a guy. I let this stuff
go. I do wanna ask one thing,
though.
317
00:19:30,922 --> 00:19:35,493
Are you ticked off at me
for making you go through
this mid-life thing?
318
00:19:35,594 --> 00:19:39,330
Sometimes it is hard for me
to keep up with the changes
you're making.
319
00:19:39,431 --> 00:19:44,202
But I love that you're
experiencing new emotions
you never thought you'd have.
320
00:19:44,303 --> 00:19:49,641
I hate new emotions.
I hate all emotions.
321
00:19:49,742 --> 00:19:53,478
It did make me appreciate
what you have to go through
every day.
322
00:19:53,579 --> 00:19:56,881
What?
Being married to you?
323
00:19:56,982 --> 00:20:01,319
Being in front of the camera,
putting it out there in front
of everybody.
324
00:20:01,420 --> 00:20:03,521
How do you get over
being nervous?
325
00:20:03,622 --> 00:20:05,690
There's a little thing
I do to relax.
326
00:20:05,791 --> 00:20:08,393
I... I make fun of women.
327
00:20:12,565 --> 00:20:16,100
It's spring again, the time
when a young man's fancy turns
to...
328
00:20:16,201 --> 00:20:18,236
[all] cheese!
329
00:20:18,404 --> 00:20:21,906
That's right. And check out
saginaw's new line of spring
cheeses.
330
00:20:22,007 --> 00:20:25,777
When it's springtime,
it's string time.
331
00:20:25,878 --> 00:20:31,048
Sparky, pull me off a little
bit of that string cheese.
Saginaw cheese.
332
00:20:31,149 --> 00:20:33,284
[all] cheese, it's good!
333
00:20:38,757 --> 00:20:41,292
Welcome back to tool time.
It's that magic moment.
334
00:20:41,394 --> 00:20:45,897
That's right. We're about
to reveal tim's completed
hot rod.
335
00:20:52,104 --> 00:20:54,772
Oh, thank god.
I can't wait.
336
00:20:54,873 --> 00:20:57,609
I've never seen you this excited
about a car before.
337
00:20:57,709 --> 00:21:00,077
I'm excited
because it's finally finished.
338
00:21:00,179 --> 00:21:02,813
Yeah,
we can get our lives back.
339
00:21:02,914 --> 00:21:06,251
If I were you,
I'd go with a whole new one.
340
00:21:06,352 --> 00:21:08,186
Ok, on three,
we're going to reveal
341
00:21:08,286 --> 00:21:11,956
Tim's totally tricked-out
'46 ford convertible!
342
00:21:12,057 --> 00:21:15,760
Everybody...
One! Two! Three!
343
00:21:15,994 --> 00:21:18,663
- Yeah!
- All right!
344
00:21:22,968 --> 00:21:26,304
Hey, tim,
there's no upholstery, nothing.
345
00:21:26,405 --> 00:21:28,739
You were supposed
to finish this.
346
00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:30,642
After we changed
the color of the top,
347
00:21:30,743 --> 00:21:34,178
The seats didn't match,
neither did the side panels.
348
00:21:34,279 --> 00:21:37,248
The maroon didn't match the rim,
so I'm gonna repaint that.
349
00:21:37,383 --> 00:21:41,953
- That's gonna take,
like, three months.
- Oh, yeah.
350
00:21:42,054 --> 00:21:44,888
[all] oh, no.
351
00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:52,229
- Klaus, drum roll, please.
- [weak drum roll]
352
00:21:54,499 --> 00:21:56,834
- Funny color, tim?
- It's a funny color.
353
00:21:56,935 --> 00:21:59,204
That jill was this jill.
354
00:21:59,304 --> 00:22:03,841
The only two times I've ever
mentioned your names were
that time... [gibberish]
355
00:22:03,942 --> 00:22:07,278
How are they?
I've been missing benny.
356
00:22:09,615 --> 00:22:13,417
In my younger days,
I worked in the circus.
357
00:22:13,518 --> 00:22:15,720
Ah!