1
00:00:04,524 --> 00:00:05,557
Brad!
2
00:00:05,626 --> 00:00:07,059
(sighs)
3
00:00:07,094 --> 00:00:10,362
How many times have
I told him not to leave
these lying around?
4
00:00:10,897 --> 00:00:11,897
Huh.
5
00:00:12,766 --> 00:00:14,133
This'll show him.
6
00:00:18,572 --> 00:00:20,239
What am I doing?
7
00:00:32,786 --> 00:00:34,287
Honestly,
what do you think?
8
00:00:38,625 --> 00:00:39,792
It's kind of
a "lumber jacket."
9
00:00:39,859 --> 00:00:42,861
Yeah! Yeah! That's good.
10
00:00:42,929 --> 00:00:45,230
I'm wearing this to kick off
woodworking week.
11
00:00:45,299 --> 00:00:48,233
Honey, listen,
the calvin pine collection.
12
00:00:50,103 --> 00:00:51,704
You smell kind of
like a bookshelf.
13
00:00:51,771 --> 00:00:54,407
Yeah. It's old cedar.
14
00:00:56,210 --> 00:00:57,310
It's very sexy.
15
00:00:57,377 --> 00:00:59,945
Yeah?
Yeah.
16
00:01:00,013 --> 00:01:01,714
I thought you had to
go to the class today.
17
00:01:01,781 --> 00:01:03,683
Not till about 10:00.
Oh, boy!
18
00:01:03,750 --> 00:01:07,653
I have a kind of a window of
opportunity. How about you?
19
00:01:07,721 --> 00:01:10,856
Oh, I've got to be
at tool time in
20 minutes.
20
00:01:10,924 --> 00:01:14,026
So, I just have,
like, a little peephole.
21
00:01:14,094 --> 00:01:15,294
Oh, boy.
22
00:01:15,361 --> 00:01:17,163
I can work with that,
I think.
23
00:01:18,165 --> 00:01:20,433
No. I gotta...
I gotta...
24
00:01:20,534 --> 00:01:21,800
(phone ringing)
25
00:01:21,868 --> 00:01:22,868
Should we get that?
26
00:01:22,936 --> 00:01:24,003
What?
27
00:01:25,372 --> 00:01:27,039
The phone.
28
00:01:27,107 --> 00:01:28,941
No. Let the
machine get it.
29
00:01:29,008 --> 00:01:31,109
(answering machine beeps)
30
00:01:31,177 --> 00:01:33,278
Jeff: Hey, bro. It's jeff.
31
00:01:33,346 --> 00:01:37,482
Listen, I decided to take you
up on your invitation to have
dinner and watch the fight.
32
00:01:37,550 --> 00:01:38,918
Although I may
be a little late
33
00:01:38,985 --> 00:01:43,089
Because I have an appointment
with my podiatrist.
34
00:01:43,156 --> 00:01:46,692
Tim, I've got a fungus
infection between my toes
35
00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:49,228
That would just
turn your stomach.
36
00:01:49,295 --> 00:01:51,197
Just ignore him.
He does that to
get a rise out of me.
37
00:01:51,264 --> 00:01:53,099
He won't.
Jeff: It's unbelievable,
timmy!
38
00:01:53,166 --> 00:01:56,468
There's this yellow stuff
oozing out of my toenails.
39
00:01:58,071 --> 00:02:01,140
Actually, it's more
of a light green or a teal.
40
00:02:02,642 --> 00:02:04,543
Hard to describe
on the phone, tim.
41
00:02:04,611 --> 00:02:07,279
I'll show you
tonight over dinner,
okay? See ya.
42
00:02:07,347 --> 00:02:08,614
(answering machine beeps)
43
00:02:08,682 --> 00:02:10,883
That just put
a lock on my window.
44
00:02:12,052 --> 00:02:14,954
Hey, but daddy's
got the master key!
45
00:03:07,974 --> 00:03:09,575
Okay, I know this.
46
00:03:09,643 --> 00:03:14,447
The cerebrum is responsible
for sensory and neural
function,
47
00:03:14,514 --> 00:03:15,948
Motor coordination...
48
00:03:16,850 --> 00:03:18,618
And one more thing.
49
00:03:22,222 --> 00:03:23,756
Memory! Damn!
50
00:03:28,828 --> 00:03:31,297
Hi, honey.
Hi.
51
00:03:31,365 --> 00:03:32,998
What are you
doing home so early?
52
00:03:33,066 --> 00:03:35,634
Three words.
Rag, oil, match.
53
00:03:41,141 --> 00:03:43,542
Well, the boys
are still at school.
54
00:03:43,609 --> 00:03:45,877
How's that window
situation holding up?
55
00:03:47,180 --> 00:03:49,948
Oh, the window.
56
00:03:50,016 --> 00:03:53,818
Actually, I'm wide
open until after 2:00.
57
00:03:53,886 --> 00:03:56,888
And then again
between 3:00 and 3:30.
58
00:03:59,292 --> 00:04:01,760
Two windows in
the same afternoon?
59
00:04:03,796 --> 00:04:06,398
There's bound to be
some broken glass.
60
00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:09,501
I'm willing to risk it.
61
00:04:12,372 --> 00:04:14,273
(doorbell rings)
62
00:04:14,340 --> 00:04:16,608
Should we get that?
Let the machine get it.
63
00:04:18,844 --> 00:04:19,878
(knocking)
64
00:04:19,946 --> 00:04:22,848
Jill, honey, it's me, carrie!
65
00:04:22,916 --> 00:04:24,916
Oh, my god!
That's my sister carrie!
66
00:04:24,984 --> 00:04:26,885
Let the machine get it.
67
00:04:28,354 --> 00:04:29,955
Surprise!
68
00:04:30,023 --> 00:04:31,390
Hi, carrie.
69
00:04:32,992 --> 00:04:34,559
What ya doing?
70
00:04:36,662 --> 00:04:39,765
I was looking
for a quarter.
71
00:04:39,899 --> 00:04:42,200
I guess I came at a
good time then, huh?
72
00:04:42,268 --> 00:04:45,070
God! What are you doing here?
You never said
you were coming to detroit.
73
00:04:45,137 --> 00:04:46,405
Oh, I got a
last-minute job.
74
00:04:46,473 --> 00:04:47,606
Well, what are you
gonna do?
75
00:04:47,674 --> 00:04:49,541
I'm photographing
a magazine cover.
76
00:04:49,609 --> 00:04:52,310
I just thought I'd stop by
on my way to the hotel.
77
00:04:52,379 --> 00:04:54,513
You are not staying
at a hotel.
78
00:04:54,581 --> 00:04:58,083
Honey, she's a grown woman.
79
00:04:58,151 --> 00:05:01,420
If she wants to
stay in a hotel,
who are we to stop her, huh?
80
00:05:01,488 --> 00:05:03,456
She is not
staying at a hotel.
81
00:05:03,523 --> 00:05:04,823
You can stay
in randy's room.
82
00:05:04,891 --> 00:05:06,124
But when you
stay down there,
83
00:05:06,193 --> 00:05:08,160
You gotta go all
the way up to the bathroom
84
00:05:08,228 --> 00:05:10,696
And then you gotta jiggle
the handle of the toilet
because it kind of runs.
85
00:05:10,763 --> 00:05:12,198
So, I should have brad
stay down in randy's room
86
00:05:12,265 --> 00:05:13,598
And you can stay up
there in his room.
87
00:05:13,666 --> 00:05:14,567
Great.
Okay.
88
00:05:14,634 --> 00:05:16,268
Tim, is that okay?
89
00:05:16,336 --> 00:05:17,970
I have no idea
what she just said.
90
00:05:19,305 --> 00:05:21,674
But that's okay.
91
00:05:21,741 --> 00:05:24,076
Boy, I wish I could
find a guy like him!
92
00:05:24,144 --> 00:05:25,777
Yeah.
93
00:05:25,845 --> 00:05:28,514
Well, carrie,
when they made me,
they broke the mold.
94
00:05:29,616 --> 00:05:31,817
I believe you
broke the mold.
95
00:05:34,487 --> 00:05:39,057
The skin between every single
one of my toes is cracked,
splitting and raw.
96
00:05:41,260 --> 00:05:43,629
Could you pass
the creamed corn?
97
00:05:45,364 --> 00:05:46,432
There you go.
98
00:05:46,499 --> 00:05:49,768
I'll tell you,
this fungus is painful.
99
00:05:49,602 --> 00:05:51,504
Not as painful as
hearing about it.
100
00:05:51,571 --> 00:05:53,672
You know what's the worst?
Plantar's warts.
101
00:05:53,739 --> 00:05:57,009
You have to scrape that skin
off the inside of your toe...
102
00:05:57,077 --> 00:05:59,478
Okay, that's it.
Dinner's over.
Time for the fight.
103
00:05:59,545 --> 00:06:02,047
Yeah.
What?
104
00:06:02,115 --> 00:06:03,983
Tim: Carrie,
you're home early.
105
00:06:04,050 --> 00:06:06,852
Yeah.
Am I glad that job's over!
My feet are killing me.
106
00:06:08,021 --> 00:06:10,422
Please, no more feet.
107
00:06:10,490 --> 00:06:11,991
Is jeff here?
108
00:06:12,792 --> 00:06:13,825
Hi, jeff.
Hi, carrie.
109
00:06:13,894 --> 00:06:15,861
Oh, it's great
to see you again.
110
00:06:15,929 --> 00:06:17,263
Great seeing you, too.
You look terrific.
111
00:06:17,330 --> 00:06:19,531
Thanks. So do you.
112
00:06:19,599 --> 00:06:21,566
And thanks for sending me
those photographs from tim's
fourth of July party.
113
00:06:21,634 --> 00:06:22,801
Oh, we had a
great time together.
114
00:06:22,869 --> 00:06:24,136
Oh, yeah.
115
00:06:24,204 --> 00:06:26,405
Until tim almost shot
that bottle rocket up your...
116
00:06:26,472 --> 00:06:29,574
Yeah.
Heineken anyone?
117
00:06:29,642 --> 00:06:31,710
Nothing like a cold
beer before a fight.
Come on. Let's sit down.
118
00:06:31,778 --> 00:06:33,478
Oh, I love boxing!
Who's fighting?
119
00:06:33,546 --> 00:06:35,480
Ironhead johnson.
120
00:06:35,548 --> 00:06:37,650
Versus my man!
You ready to rumble?
121
00:06:37,717 --> 00:06:44,189
From san juan,
puerto rico, chi chi
"the mucho macho" hernandez!
122
00:06:44,257 --> 00:06:47,892
I hate boxing.
It's bloody. It's vicious.
123
00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:51,096
Sounds like
jeff's last marriage.
124
00:06:51,164 --> 00:06:53,298
Yeah. Since the last
time I saw you,
my wife and I split up.
125
00:06:53,365 --> 00:06:55,500
Yeah, jill told me
that she left you
126
00:06:55,568 --> 00:06:57,903
And you're living
with your mother again.
127
00:06:58,972 --> 00:07:02,273
Gee! Thanks for
the build-up.
128
00:07:02,341 --> 00:07:04,610
I guess it lost
a little something
in the translation.
129
00:07:04,677 --> 00:07:05,544
You think?
130
00:07:05,612 --> 00:07:06,878
I'm really sorry, jeff.
131
00:07:06,946 --> 00:07:08,547
Well, you know,
these things happen.
132
00:07:08,615 --> 00:07:10,649
So, how long you
gonna be staying here?
133
00:07:10,717 --> 00:07:14,353
Well, my job's over and
I really don't have to be
anywhere else for a week.
134
00:07:14,421 --> 00:07:15,654
A week?
135
00:07:19,726 --> 00:07:21,560
Hey, is that all?
136
00:07:24,330 --> 00:07:26,030
Chi chi!
137
00:07:26,098 --> 00:07:29,167
Man, those body blows
are unbelievable!
138
00:07:29,235 --> 00:07:32,170
Twenty bucks says chi chi
comes out of this with
a ruptured spleen.
139
00:07:32,238 --> 00:07:33,805
You're on.
Okay.
140
00:07:33,873 --> 00:07:37,910
I happen to know
he lost his spleen
in the lopez fight.
141
00:07:37,977 --> 00:07:40,279
That's why he's
down a weight class.
142
00:07:40,346 --> 00:07:42,581
I can't stand this anymore.
I'm gonna go
upstairs and read.
143
00:07:42,648 --> 00:07:44,216
Good night, guys.
144
00:07:44,283 --> 00:07:46,552
Was that a tooth that
flew out of his mouth?
145
00:07:47,754 --> 00:07:48,887
Tonsil.
146
00:07:48,955 --> 00:07:50,022
Oh, man!
147
00:07:51,257 --> 00:07:52,624
Oh, this is great,
148
00:07:52,692 --> 00:07:56,662
I love watching sweaty,
muscular guys
test their manhood.
149
00:07:58,397 --> 00:08:01,367
You know,
in college I used to fight.
150
00:08:02,168 --> 00:08:03,435
You were a boxer?
151
00:08:03,503 --> 00:08:05,437
Well, I know my way
around the ring, yeah.
152
00:08:05,505 --> 00:08:08,640
They called you what,
"the humongous fungus,"
right?
153
00:08:10,476 --> 00:08:13,278
Get him, itchy toe!
Hit him, itchy toe!
Come on, baby!
154
00:08:14,781 --> 00:08:17,549
Hey, what a fight!
What a fight!
155
00:08:17,616 --> 00:08:20,319
Chi chi must've stopped
87 shots with his head.
156
00:08:22,255 --> 00:08:23,288
So, he lost again?
157
00:08:23,356 --> 00:08:25,056
No! No! Won the fight.
158
00:08:25,124 --> 00:08:26,892
It was on a technicality.
But a win is a win.
159
00:08:26,959 --> 00:08:30,395
I guess ironhead's urine
sample came up a bit dirty.
160
00:08:30,463 --> 00:08:32,798
Please, spare me the details.
Did jeff leave?
161
00:08:32,866 --> 00:08:35,567
No. He's down there
talking with carrie.
162
00:08:36,369 --> 00:08:38,504
(tim humming)
163
00:08:44,477 --> 00:08:45,611
What are you doing?
164
00:08:45,678 --> 00:08:47,946
Hoping to log
on to windows 98.
165
00:08:50,617 --> 00:08:53,786
We can't be doing that.
My sister's gonna be
up here any minute.
166
00:08:53,853 --> 00:08:54,887
So?
167
00:08:54,954 --> 00:08:56,789
So she'll be
right next door.
168
00:08:56,856 --> 00:08:58,657
And she's not
a sound sleeper.
169
00:08:58,725 --> 00:09:00,492
I don't think she'll
be up for a while.
170
00:09:00,560 --> 00:09:02,260
How do you know that?
171
00:09:02,328 --> 00:09:07,165
Because jeff is
talking about shoes,
and feet.
172
00:09:07,233 --> 00:09:10,536
His feet, her feet,
our family's feet.
173
00:09:10,603 --> 00:09:14,172
You know, if you took
a little whiff right here...
174
00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:17,743
You might become intoxicated
by the deep aroma of wood.
175
00:09:19,412 --> 00:09:20,879
You think?
I think so.
176
00:09:21,748 --> 00:09:23,649
(jill moans)
177
00:09:23,716 --> 00:09:25,383
(door closing)
178
00:09:25,452 --> 00:09:27,820
That's carrie!
You said she
wouldn't be up here!
179
00:09:27,887 --> 00:09:29,788
Jeff probably
took his socks off.
180
00:09:32,659 --> 00:09:35,794
Well, that's it.
We can't do that now.
181
00:09:37,096 --> 00:09:38,396
Why not?
182
00:09:38,465 --> 00:09:40,599
It'd be too weird. Yuck!
183
00:09:42,569 --> 00:09:44,503
It doesn't bother me.
184
00:09:44,571 --> 00:09:49,775
Well, you'd be comfortable
doing it with a relative
in the room.
185
00:09:49,843 --> 00:09:53,111
If you're not comfortable
in front of family,
why bother?
186
00:09:55,181 --> 00:09:56,715
I'm sorry, honey.
187
00:09:56,783 --> 00:09:59,518
But there's not any sex
happening here tonight.
188
00:09:59,586 --> 00:10:01,487
(jeff and carrie laughing)
189
00:10:05,758 --> 00:10:06,825
Carrie: Oh, yeah.
190
00:10:06,893 --> 00:10:08,093
Jeff: Oh, yeah.
191
00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:09,528
(carrie laughing)
192
00:10:09,596 --> 00:10:10,829
Oh, no!
193
00:10:20,907 --> 00:10:23,475
(jeff and carrie laughing)
194
00:10:29,148 --> 00:10:32,284
I can't believe my sister's
in there with your brother.
195
00:10:36,155 --> 00:10:39,924
I can't believe
my brother's feet
are touching those sheets.
196
00:10:41,995 --> 00:10:46,064
We're gonna have to
boil those things,
you know.
197
00:10:46,132 --> 00:10:48,766
How could they be
involved with each other?
198
00:10:48,834 --> 00:10:51,003
Maybe they're
not involved.
199
00:10:51,070 --> 00:10:53,605
Maybe they just
stepped up here
for a quick boink.
200
00:10:56,842 --> 00:11:01,213
This is absolutely
unbelievable. They've been
at it for almost an hour!
201
00:11:01,280 --> 00:11:04,349
I had no idea jeff had
that kind of staying power.
202
00:11:04,417 --> 00:11:06,818
Jeff and carrie,
of all people in the world?
203
00:11:06,886 --> 00:11:10,322
Well, some women go
for that bald look, you know?
204
00:11:10,390 --> 00:11:13,559
They stare in that
shiny head and they
can fix their make-up.
205
00:11:15,728 --> 00:11:18,029
What would my sister
see in your brother?
206
00:11:18,097 --> 00:11:19,898
I just told you. Herself.
207
00:11:22,034 --> 00:11:25,203
No. I don't mean
the bald thing.
208
00:11:25,271 --> 00:11:26,838
You know, jeff is just...
He's so...
209
00:11:27,440 --> 00:11:29,073
So what?
210
00:11:29,142 --> 00:11:31,009
Well, he can't keep a job...
He can't...
211
00:11:31,076 --> 00:11:32,811
Oh, stop it...
He's been divorced twice.
212
00:11:32,878 --> 00:11:34,846
He's, you know,
kind of uncouth.
213
00:11:34,914 --> 00:11:36,915
My brother reeks of couth.
214
00:11:38,951 --> 00:11:41,019
And what makes you think
carrie's such a catch?
215
00:11:41,086 --> 00:11:43,121
Carrie? She's a great catch.
216
00:11:43,189 --> 00:11:45,657
She's an accomplished
photographer. She's cute.
She's warm. She's funny.
217
00:11:45,725 --> 00:11:47,192
She's a mooch.
What?
218
00:11:49,395 --> 00:11:51,930
How does she always
end up staying here?
219
00:11:51,998 --> 00:11:55,033
She's always on her way to
this imaginary hotel of hers.
220
00:11:55,101 --> 00:11:57,236
The "holiday inn her mind."
221
00:11:59,539 --> 00:12:00,939
Oh, I don't want
to argue about this.
222
00:12:01,007 --> 00:12:03,308
Look, jeff is just
the wrong guy
for my sister, okay?
223
00:12:03,376 --> 00:12:05,344
What you mean
is he's not good
enough for your sister.
224
00:12:05,411 --> 00:12:06,845
I never said that.
225
00:12:06,912 --> 00:12:08,046
But that's what you mean.
226
00:12:08,114 --> 00:12:09,714
Don't tell me what I mean.
227
00:12:09,782 --> 00:12:12,017
I don't need to
tell you what you mean,
you know what you mean.
228
00:12:12,084 --> 00:12:14,419
I do know what I mean.
And it's not what
you think I mean.
229
00:12:14,487 --> 00:12:16,121
And who are you to tell me
what I mean, anyway?
230
00:12:16,189 --> 00:12:19,490
Half the time you don't
even know what you mean!
231
00:12:19,558 --> 00:12:20,793
What's that
supposed to mean?
232
00:12:20,860 --> 00:12:22,860
What do you think it means?
233
00:12:22,928 --> 00:12:24,696
I don't know.
I'm not even sure what
the original topic is.
234
00:12:24,764 --> 00:12:26,331
My sister. Your brother.
235
00:12:26,399 --> 00:12:27,732
What? Yes!
236
00:12:30,235 --> 00:12:32,703
You think your family's
better than my family.
237
00:12:32,771 --> 00:12:35,040
That is so untrue.
I love your mother.
238
00:12:35,108 --> 00:12:36,808
I'm not talking
about my mother.
How about my brothers?
239
00:12:36,876 --> 00:12:38,377
Your brothers are fine.
240
00:12:38,177 --> 00:12:41,513
Not as fine as your couthy,
intelligent sisters.
241
00:12:41,347 --> 00:12:42,647
What's that
supposed to mean?
242
00:12:42,715 --> 00:12:44,382
You think my
brother's a lowbrow.
243
00:12:44,450 --> 00:12:46,284
I never said that.
That's what you mean.
244
00:12:46,352 --> 00:12:47,719
You have no idea what I mean.
245
00:12:47,787 --> 00:12:51,055
Let's not go
there again.
246
00:12:51,123 --> 00:12:53,658
You look down on my brothers
because you think they're
unsophisticated.
247
00:12:53,726 --> 00:12:56,294
And when you
look down on them,
you look down on me.
248
00:12:56,362 --> 00:12:57,829
I do not.
You are being
so ridiculous.
249
00:12:57,897 --> 00:12:59,398
I'm just not even gonna
talk to you anymore.
250
00:12:59,465 --> 00:13:02,467
Oh, that'll last
about five minutes.
251
00:13:02,535 --> 00:13:04,970
If I had a nickel
for every time you
talked to me after you said
252
00:13:05,037 --> 00:13:07,105
You weren't gonna
talk to me again,
I'd be a millionaire.
253
00:13:07,173 --> 00:13:09,507
Oh, please!
There's a dime right there.
254
00:13:12,345 --> 00:13:14,345
Oh, look who
came up for air!
255
00:13:14,413 --> 00:13:16,748
Oh!
256
00:13:16,816 --> 00:13:20,218
Hi, uh, carrie and I
were just upstairs.
She was showing me her...
257
00:13:20,285 --> 00:13:21,319
Photographs.
Photographs.
258
00:13:21,387 --> 00:13:22,821
That's what you're
calling them now?
259
00:13:22,889 --> 00:13:24,389
Jeff: Yeah.
260
00:13:25,792 --> 00:13:28,493
Jeff's just gonna take me
out to grab a bite to eat.
261
00:13:28,561 --> 00:13:29,728
See ya.
262
00:13:31,530 --> 00:13:34,165
Well, looks like
another patterson
woman lowered herself
263
00:13:34,233 --> 00:13:36,434
To the level
of a taylor man.
264
00:13:37,403 --> 00:13:39,671
You are such a jackass.
265
00:13:39,739 --> 00:13:41,105
Let's see...
266
00:13:41,173 --> 00:13:42,540
(inaudible)
267
00:13:43,576 --> 00:13:45,577
Jackass one or two words?
268
00:13:49,348 --> 00:13:50,715
Welcome back to
"woodworking week"
269
00:13:50,783 --> 00:13:53,718
And our special segment
on dents, defects and gouges.
270
00:13:53,786 --> 00:13:56,988
Now, we've just showed
you how to inlay knots
to cover blemishes.
271
00:13:57,055 --> 00:13:58,456
Since we're done
working on al's face,
272
00:13:58,524 --> 00:14:00,425
We can now start
on this nice table.
273
00:14:02,227 --> 00:14:04,829
Okay,
say you have a lacquered
or varnished table...
274
00:14:04,897 --> 00:14:08,533
Al and heidi: You have
a lacquered or varnished
table.
275
00:14:08,601 --> 00:14:11,202
...With a small
dent in it. Doink!
276
00:14:11,270 --> 00:14:13,438
Not to worry.
277
00:14:13,506 --> 00:14:16,073
No need to sand off the
finish to restore this
table to its natural beauty.
278
00:14:16,141 --> 00:14:20,545
No, no, no. We're gonna
show you a process that
we call "doping in."
279
00:14:20,613 --> 00:14:22,847
Doping in can be done
in one of two ways.
280
00:14:22,915 --> 00:14:25,249
You can stick
tim into the dent.
281
00:14:29,656 --> 00:14:33,492
Or you can apply a
small drop of the same
finish into the dent
282
00:14:33,559 --> 00:14:35,294
With a toothpick
or a small brush.
283
00:14:35,361 --> 00:14:37,129
That's right.
And once it dries,
284
00:14:37,196 --> 00:14:39,297
Just repeat
the process until
your dent is filled.
285
00:14:39,365 --> 00:14:41,199
Now, moving on to
a larger project...
286
00:14:41,267 --> 00:14:43,334
We've got al's mom's tv tray.
287
00:14:48,340 --> 00:14:49,941
Still moving on.
288
00:14:50,676 --> 00:14:52,343
Now, take a look here.
289
00:14:52,411 --> 00:14:55,680
If you have
a prominent crack,
perhaps it's spreading...
290
00:14:59,652 --> 00:15:01,953
Moving on again.
291
00:15:02,021 --> 00:15:03,855
You can keep this crack
from getting any bigger
292
00:15:03,923 --> 00:15:06,424
By installing
a decorative butterfly key.
293
00:15:06,492 --> 00:15:09,327
Like one of these ones
I carved earlier today.
294
00:15:09,394 --> 00:15:10,662
Well, tim,
that's made of ash.
295
00:15:10,730 --> 00:15:11,930
I know.
296
00:15:11,998 --> 00:15:14,198
Well, our table is made
of bird's-eye maple.
297
00:15:14,266 --> 00:15:15,466
They're from two
different families.
298
00:15:15,534 --> 00:15:17,135
So what?
299
00:15:17,203 --> 00:15:19,705
Well, ash is a coarse grain
and maple's a fine grain.
300
00:15:19,772 --> 00:15:23,408
They just...
They don't go together.
301
00:15:23,476 --> 00:15:26,010
Are you saying your wood
is better than my wood?
302
00:15:26,078 --> 00:15:27,546
No.
303
00:15:27,613 --> 00:15:29,814
Your wood is classier
and more intelligent
than my wood?
304
00:15:29,882 --> 00:15:31,382
What are you
talking about?
305
00:15:31,450 --> 00:15:34,986
I'm talking about people
that look down on
other people's wood.
306
00:15:36,455 --> 00:15:39,156
Maybe your maple
could just kiss my ash.
307
00:15:42,828 --> 00:15:44,629
Okay.
308
00:15:44,697 --> 00:15:46,498
What I would use
for a decorative
butterfly would be...
309
00:15:46,565 --> 00:15:48,000
I'm not finished yet.
I'm not finished yet.
310
00:15:48,067 --> 00:15:51,069
You know,
just because a wood is
coarse and unfinished
311
00:15:51,137 --> 00:15:53,638
Doesn't make it inferior.
312
00:15:53,705 --> 00:15:56,842
You know,
I believe this country was
founded on the principle
313
00:15:56,909 --> 00:16:00,945
That all wood has
the inalienable right
to become a nice cabinet!
314
00:16:01,013 --> 00:16:02,514
(all cheering)
315
00:16:10,890 --> 00:16:12,090
What exactly is
your point, tim?
316
00:16:12,157 --> 00:16:15,960
I mean that all
wood is created equal,
317
00:16:16,028 --> 00:16:19,631
Regardless of color,
creed or burl.
318
00:16:19,699 --> 00:16:22,133
And fourscore and
seven tables ago...
319
00:16:22,201 --> 00:16:26,304
We'll be right back
to "woodworking week"
after we medicate our host.
320
00:16:29,608 --> 00:16:33,344
(speaking mock japanese)
321
00:16:37,182 --> 00:16:38,649
Ha!
322
00:16:38,717 --> 00:16:39,918
Hey, wilson.
323
00:16:39,985 --> 00:16:41,319
Hi-ho, jill.
324
00:16:41,387 --> 00:16:42,454
What are you doing?
325
00:16:42,522 --> 00:16:44,823
I am celebrating yabusame.
326
00:16:44,924 --> 00:16:47,926
You know, at yabusame
time in japan, members
of the shinto religion
327
00:16:47,993 --> 00:16:50,561
Shoot arrows to
expel evil influences
328
00:16:50,629 --> 00:16:53,198
And resolve
long-standing quarrels.
329
00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:55,800
(exclaims)
330
00:16:55,868 --> 00:16:57,835
Well, if you have
any extra arrows,
331
00:16:57,903 --> 00:17:00,237
You ought to
send one over here.
332
00:17:00,305 --> 00:17:02,140
Problem, neighbor-san?
333
00:17:03,542 --> 00:17:07,478
My sister carrie started
seeing tim's brother jeff.
334
00:17:07,546 --> 00:17:09,747
We won't go into the how,
when and where of that.
335
00:17:09,815 --> 00:17:12,083
But I didn't think
it was a good match.
336
00:17:12,151 --> 00:17:13,985
Tim got all
sensitive about it,
337
00:17:14,053 --> 00:17:18,022
Accused me of looking
down on his family.
338
00:17:18,090 --> 00:17:19,624
Well, why did he do that?
339
00:17:19,691 --> 00:17:23,462
I have no idea.
I have always been the one
who defended his family.
340
00:17:23,529 --> 00:17:25,230
To whom?
My family.
341
00:17:26,866 --> 00:17:28,767
Well, you know, my dad.
342
00:17:28,834 --> 00:17:30,601
Oh, yes! The colonel!
343
00:17:30,669 --> 00:17:32,637
He was a very
opinionated man.
344
00:17:32,704 --> 00:17:34,539
Judged everybody
according to rank.
345
00:17:34,607 --> 00:17:37,042
Oh, I remember that.
Used to call tim
"corporal punishment."
346
00:17:39,011 --> 00:17:42,480
Well, then he promoted
him to "major butt-head."
347
00:17:42,548 --> 00:17:45,116
I never wanted to be
like my dad. You know,
look down on people.
348
00:17:45,183 --> 00:17:47,185
That's why I've always
been very accepting
of tim's brothers.
349
00:17:47,219 --> 00:17:49,654
Accepting of
tim's brothers?
350
00:17:49,722 --> 00:17:53,058
If you're trying to
imply that tim's right,
you are way, way off base.
351
00:17:53,125 --> 00:17:56,660
If I was that judgmental,
I never would have married
someone like tim.
352
00:18:00,466 --> 00:18:03,168
"someone like tim."
oh, my god!
353
00:18:03,235 --> 00:18:05,470
Listen to me.
354
00:18:05,537 --> 00:18:08,105
I've become my father
without the scowl.
355
00:18:08,173 --> 00:18:09,707
Jill, everybody
picks up certain
356
00:18:09,775 --> 00:18:11,876
Negative characteristics
from their parents.
357
00:18:11,944 --> 00:18:14,412
Yeah, well, I knew I picked
up negative characteristics
from my mother.
358
00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:16,047
I didn't know I'd gotten
them from my father, too.
359
00:18:16,115 --> 00:18:17,815
That hardly seems fair.
Right there.
360
00:18:17,883 --> 00:18:20,685
See, now, by identifying them,
you make the first step
to overcoming them.
361
00:18:20,753 --> 00:18:23,387
You know, it took me years
of hard work to get rid of
my father's annoying traits.
362
00:18:23,455 --> 00:18:25,123
Really? What was he like?
363
00:18:25,190 --> 00:18:26,324
Odd man.
364
00:18:27,893 --> 00:18:29,394
Kept to himself.
365
00:18:29,462 --> 00:18:32,430
Never really let people
see the whole person.
366
00:18:38,971 --> 00:18:40,271
You look great.
367
00:18:40,339 --> 00:18:41,606
Thanks.
368
00:18:41,674 --> 00:18:43,708
Jeff's taking me
to sorrentino's
for dinner.
369
00:18:43,776 --> 00:18:45,943
Whoa!
370
00:18:46,011 --> 00:18:49,247
So, you two really seem
to be hitting it off, huh?
371
00:18:50,148 --> 00:18:51,516
Well, yeah.
372
00:18:51,584 --> 00:18:55,086
We had a great time together
yesterday, although...
373
00:18:56,822 --> 00:18:58,356
Although what?
374
00:18:59,525 --> 00:19:01,893
Well, jeff's a nice guy.
375
00:19:01,961 --> 00:19:04,161
But he's had all those
business failures.
376
00:19:04,229 --> 00:19:06,230
He never even
finished college.
377
00:19:06,298 --> 00:19:08,800
He's obsessed with his feet.
378
00:19:11,003 --> 00:19:12,437
What do you think of him?
379
00:19:12,504 --> 00:19:14,372
Jeff?
Yeah.
380
00:19:14,439 --> 00:19:18,209
I think he's
a sweet and decent guy.
381
00:19:19,077 --> 00:19:20,745
That's what I thought.
382
00:19:20,813 --> 00:19:22,613
And then last night
when he dropped
me off, you know,
383
00:19:22,681 --> 00:19:24,882
I just started
picking him apart.
384
00:19:24,950 --> 00:19:28,319
That critical
voice you're hearing,
you know where you get that?
385
00:19:28,387 --> 00:19:30,388
It's from daddy.
386
00:19:30,456 --> 00:19:31,990
What do you mean?
387
00:19:32,058 --> 00:19:35,393
You remember how he
used to put everybody
under the microscope?
388
00:19:35,460 --> 00:19:38,930
If you examine
anybody that closely,
you're gonna find flaws.
389
00:19:38,998 --> 00:19:42,333
Maybe you should
give jeff a chance.
390
00:19:42,401 --> 00:19:43,968
I think you're right.
391
00:19:44,036 --> 00:19:46,471
Especially since you're
already sleeping with him.
392
00:19:48,140 --> 00:19:49,841
We did not
sleep together!
393
00:19:49,909 --> 00:19:50,975
Oh, really?
394
00:19:51,043 --> 00:19:53,377
No! Well, we started kissing.
395
00:19:53,446 --> 00:19:56,648
And then I remembered
my sister was
right next door.
396
00:19:56,715 --> 00:19:58,483
(both exclaims in disgust)
397
00:19:59,618 --> 00:20:00,952
Of course,
jeff could've cared less.
398
00:20:01,019 --> 00:20:03,421
He would've been fine
with the door open.
399
00:20:03,489 --> 00:20:05,690
Tim would do
it on tool time.
400
00:20:07,726 --> 00:20:10,227
(doorbell rings)
401
00:20:10,295 --> 00:20:13,097
Now, listen! Listen!
Ignore that critical voice.
402
00:20:13,164 --> 00:20:14,498
Okay.
Okay.
403
00:20:16,302 --> 00:20:18,636
He's been divorced twice.
404
00:20:18,704 --> 00:20:20,939
I met both of them.
He's better off.
405
00:20:21,006 --> 00:20:22,107
Go! Go, go, go!
406
00:20:22,174 --> 00:20:23,474
Okay. Coming!
407
00:20:26,145 --> 00:20:27,278
Hi, jeff.
408
00:20:27,346 --> 00:20:29,213
How're you doing?
409
00:20:29,281 --> 00:20:32,783
Hey, good news. After our
romantic dinner, we're going
to "fight night" at cobo hall.
410
00:20:32,851 --> 00:20:34,318
Well, that's fantastic.
411
00:20:34,386 --> 00:20:35,754
Yeah. And I got you this.
412
00:20:35,821 --> 00:20:38,089
Oh, you're so sweet.
413
00:20:38,157 --> 00:20:39,390
Yes, I am.
414
00:20:39,458 --> 00:20:41,726
Guys, have a good time.
415
00:20:41,761 --> 00:20:43,361
(door closing)
416
00:20:44,697 --> 00:20:47,598
I saw jeff's car.
Where's he taking carrie?
417
00:20:47,733 --> 00:20:49,267
Dinner and a fight.
418
00:20:49,334 --> 00:20:50,468
(chuckles)
419
00:20:51,937 --> 00:20:54,105
Sounds like Friday
night at our house.
420
00:20:55,774 --> 00:20:58,343
Okay, okay.
421
00:20:58,410 --> 00:21:02,513
I was wrong to be so
judgmental of jeff.
422
00:21:02,581 --> 00:21:04,315
Wow! You were judgmental?
423
00:21:04,382 --> 00:21:06,117
(whistles)
424
00:21:06,185 --> 00:21:09,253
It was that
patterson family gene
just seeping through.
425
00:21:09,322 --> 00:21:13,391
I mean, you guys may be
a little rough around
the edges, but, hey...
426
00:21:13,459 --> 00:21:15,226
What's the surprise?
You're men.
427
00:21:15,294 --> 00:21:17,195
(chuckles)
428
00:21:17,262 --> 00:21:21,666
And for men,
you're very open,
accepting and caring people.
429
00:21:21,734 --> 00:21:25,369
Plus we're really
good at skee-ball.
430
00:21:25,437 --> 00:21:29,340
I think that if jeff
happens to fall in love
with carrie,
431
00:21:29,407 --> 00:21:31,175
She'd be lucky
to have him.
432
00:21:32,344 --> 00:21:34,345
Yeah?
Uh-huh.
433
00:21:34,413 --> 00:21:36,380
Where are the boys?
434
00:21:36,448 --> 00:21:38,149
At the movies.