1
00:00:02,389 --> 00:00:04,290
Well, that about
wraps up tool time.
2
00:00:04,358 --> 00:00:08,027
So, tim,
what have we
learned today?
3
00:00:08,095 --> 00:00:11,364
Well, we learned that
blown foam insulation
is a great way
4
00:00:11,431 --> 00:00:14,066
To reduce
energy costs
at your house.
5
00:00:14,434 --> 00:00:16,035
And?
6
00:00:16,103 --> 00:00:19,872
Well, and that
blown foam insulation
is a great sound-dampener.
7
00:00:19,940 --> 00:00:21,573
(chuckles)
8
00:00:21,641 --> 00:00:24,910
And when
the manufacturer
says 100 psi max,
9
00:00:24,977 --> 00:00:28,147
They mean 100 psi
10
00:00:29,349 --> 00:00:30,816
Max!
11
00:01:23,704 --> 00:01:25,037
Hey, al.
Hey.
12
00:01:25,104 --> 00:01:26,605
Cable show ratings
just came in.
13
00:01:26,673 --> 00:01:28,974
I think you might
want to take a look.
14
00:01:29,042 --> 00:01:30,609
Ah, congratulations,
heidi!
15
00:01:30,677 --> 00:01:33,546
You won again
with males
aged 13 to 95.
16
00:01:34,481 --> 00:01:37,483
Keep reading.
17
00:01:37,551 --> 00:01:40,185
Ah, well,
my ratings are up again
in the "likeability" column.
18
00:01:40,253 --> 00:01:41,420
You're off the charts!
19
00:01:41,488 --> 00:01:44,623
Yeah. Oh, my god!
I beat tim!
20
00:01:44,691 --> 00:01:46,659
Yes!
Congratulations.
21
00:01:46,727 --> 00:01:50,495
Listen, you really
ought to take advantage
of this new popularity.
22
00:01:50,563 --> 00:01:51,864
What do you mean?
23
00:01:51,931 --> 00:01:54,166
Well, when's the last time
you appeared in public?
24
00:01:54,234 --> 00:01:58,070
Well, Tuesday I went
to the mall for peanut brittle
and a belt.
25
00:01:58,138 --> 00:02:00,606
I mean, you should be doing
promotions and endorsements.
26
00:02:00,674 --> 00:02:03,942
Al, you could be
the next ed mcmahon.
27
00:02:04,010 --> 00:02:05,076
Ed mcmahon?
28
00:02:05,144 --> 00:02:06,378
Uh-huh.
29
00:02:06,446 --> 00:02:09,548
(imitating ed mcmahon)
30
00:02:09,649 --> 00:02:11,149
I'll be goshed...
Hey, guys.
Who's got the ratings?
31
00:02:11,217 --> 00:02:12,518
Hide them.
Here comes tim.
Okay.
32
00:02:12,586 --> 00:02:13,552
There we go.
Where's
the ratings sheet?
33
00:02:13,620 --> 00:02:14,653
Huh? What?
I don't know.
34
00:02:14,721 --> 00:02:16,922
Huh? What?
Huh? This.
35
00:02:16,990 --> 00:02:19,057
Oh!
36
00:02:19,125 --> 00:02:21,360
Hey, once again, heidi,
in the stratosphere.
37
00:02:21,428 --> 00:02:22,561
Yeah.
38
00:02:22,629 --> 00:02:24,663
What is it
with you and men?
39
00:02:26,700 --> 00:02:27,800
What the...
40
00:02:27,868 --> 00:02:29,769
Hey, the show's
doing pretty well.
41
00:02:29,836 --> 00:02:31,303
(grunting)
oh, no.
42
00:02:33,339 --> 00:02:34,740
I didn't beat you
by much!
43
00:02:34,808 --> 00:02:36,174
Okay, I'll clear out
my locker.
44
00:02:36,242 --> 00:02:37,643
Hey, don't be
ridiculous.
45
00:02:37,711 --> 00:02:39,144
Whatever gave
you guys the idea
46
00:02:39,212 --> 00:02:41,213
This was some type
of competition?
Come on!
47
00:02:41,281 --> 00:02:42,815
Well, maybe because
every month
when these come out,
48
00:02:42,883 --> 00:02:45,151
Tim runs around going,
"I won! I won! I won!"
49
00:02:45,218 --> 00:02:48,621
All right.
All right. Okay.
Maybe heidi's right.
50
00:02:48,688 --> 00:02:50,723
This isn't a competition.
51
00:02:50,790 --> 00:02:52,591
These numbers are
good for the show.
52
00:02:52,659 --> 00:02:54,660
Good for you, al.
We're a family here.
53
00:02:54,728 --> 00:02:56,695
Yeah.
Well, thank you, tim.
54
00:02:56,763 --> 00:02:59,732
You know, I never thought
this would happen to me.
55
00:02:59,799 --> 00:03:01,901
I've always lived
in someone else's shadow.
56
00:03:01,968 --> 00:03:03,268
Well, growing up
with your mom,
57
00:03:03,336 --> 00:03:05,337
I'm surprised you knew
there was a sun.
58
00:03:06,839 --> 00:03:08,406
All right!
59
00:03:08,474 --> 00:03:10,109
I'm gonna go tell
trudy the good news.
60
00:03:10,176 --> 00:03:11,610
Yeah.
Congratulations again, al.
61
00:03:11,678 --> 00:03:13,245
Thank you!
62
00:03:13,312 --> 00:03:14,647
I think he took it
pretty well.
63
00:03:14,714 --> 00:03:16,248
Yeah, I think so.
Yeah.
64
00:03:24,591 --> 00:03:25,624
Hey, brad?
65
00:03:25,692 --> 00:03:27,559
What's up, mark?
66
00:03:27,627 --> 00:03:29,695
If a girl named erica calls,
tell her I'm not here,
all right?
67
00:03:29,762 --> 00:03:31,997
What? Is she, like,
the ugliest girl
in junior high?
68
00:03:32,065 --> 00:03:33,432
Actually,
she's the prettiest.
69
00:03:33,500 --> 00:03:35,233
I wish she'd just
leave me alone.
70
00:03:35,301 --> 00:03:39,038
Wait, wait.
There's no way
you and I are related.
71
00:03:39,105 --> 00:03:40,906
I'd love to go out
with erica.
72
00:03:40,974 --> 00:03:44,676
Just all she does
is complain about
her jerk boyfriend.
73
00:03:44,744 --> 00:03:46,545
Mark, mark, wake up.
74
00:03:46,613 --> 00:03:48,714
She's using you
as her shoulder to cry on.
75
00:03:48,782 --> 00:03:50,116
You know what
that means, right?
76
00:03:50,183 --> 00:03:52,551
Yeah. She thinks
I'm a girl.
77
00:03:54,588 --> 00:03:57,656
No. No. She thinks
you're a caring,
sensitive listener.
78
00:03:57,724 --> 00:04:00,593
And when she finally
breaks up with that
jerk boyfriend of hers,
79
00:04:00,660 --> 00:04:02,461
You're in the pole position.
80
00:04:02,529 --> 00:04:04,663
All I have to do
is just sit on the phone
and listen?
81
00:04:04,898 --> 00:04:08,200
You don't even
have to listen.
Just pretend.
82
00:04:08,268 --> 00:04:12,605
Every so often say lines
like "I sympathize
with your needs."
83
00:04:12,672 --> 00:04:17,710
And when you want to
whip out the big guns,
try "I hurt when you hurt."
84
00:04:19,846 --> 00:04:21,613
This is so devious.
85
00:04:22,248 --> 00:04:23,415
Thank you.
86
00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:28,386
Hi.
87
00:04:28,454 --> 00:04:30,388
Hi. Did you get
my tulip bulbs?
88
00:04:30,456 --> 00:04:33,491
Oh! I forgot to go
by the garden center.
I'm sorry.
89
00:04:33,559 --> 00:04:34,659
Let me ask you a question.
What?
90
00:04:34,728 --> 00:04:36,461
Am I a likable guy?
91
00:04:36,529 --> 00:04:39,231
Are you gonna get
my bulbs?
92
00:04:39,299 --> 00:04:42,935
What would you say
if I told you that al was
more likable than me?
93
00:04:43,002 --> 00:04:44,103
Duh?
94
00:04:45,872 --> 00:04:50,076
Our ratings came out today
and for the first time
in 10 years,
95
00:04:50,143 --> 00:04:52,445
Al was rated
more likable than me.
96
00:04:52,512 --> 00:04:54,380
So this is
bothering you, right?
97
00:04:54,447 --> 00:04:56,982
Well, duh.
98
00:04:57,050 --> 00:04:59,785
You don't think binford
would think about
switching hosts, do you?
99
00:04:59,853 --> 00:05:04,256
Honey, that's
never gonna happen.
100
00:05:04,323 --> 00:05:07,359
Look, al hosted the show once
and it was a disaster.
101
00:05:07,426 --> 00:05:09,628
He needs you
to make it all work.
102
00:05:09,695 --> 00:05:11,864
Huh?
103
00:05:11,931 --> 00:05:16,468
Well, see, look,
you took a shy,
insecure, stiff guy
104
00:05:16,535 --> 00:05:21,173
And you turned him
into a likable,
confident, stiff guy.
105
00:05:21,241 --> 00:05:24,076
You gave him his persona.
You invented
the signature salute.
106
00:05:24,144 --> 00:05:26,845
You sort of
created al.
107
00:05:26,913 --> 00:05:27,813
I did.
I created al.
108
00:05:27,881 --> 00:05:30,983
Almost like al is
my frankenstein monster.
109
00:05:31,050 --> 00:05:34,052
You know, without
the attractive neck bolts.
110
00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:36,121
He's alive!
111
00:05:38,124 --> 00:05:39,558
Now, see?
That's what
you should do.
112
00:05:39,626 --> 00:05:41,026
Just enjoy
the fruits of your labor.
113
00:05:41,094 --> 00:05:44,997
Yeah. You know,
and maybe accept
my fate in a way.
114
00:05:45,064 --> 00:05:47,800
You know, because even
the brightest stars
can't shine forever.
115
00:05:47,868 --> 00:05:51,303
I mean, there's a point
when the champions like
me and michael jordan
116
00:05:51,371 --> 00:05:54,439
Just have to
pass our balls
on to somebody else.
117
00:05:57,176 --> 00:05:58,210
Hey, fred.
118
00:05:58,277 --> 00:05:59,277
Hey, mr. Taylor.
119
00:05:59,345 --> 00:06:00,445
Do you have tulips?
120
00:06:00,514 --> 00:06:03,181
Well, it'd be hard
to whistle if I didn't.
121
00:06:03,249 --> 00:06:04,416
You get it?
Yeah.
122
00:06:04,484 --> 00:06:05,751
It's a gag.
Yeah.
123
00:06:05,819 --> 00:06:07,753
Hey, I've got your
special bulb order
in the back.
124
00:06:07,821 --> 00:06:10,456
While I'm digging them up,
why don't you say
hi to your buddy al?
125
00:06:10,523 --> 00:06:11,790
He's in fertilizer.
126
00:06:11,858 --> 00:06:12,891
Al?
127
00:06:13,793 --> 00:06:16,061
"hope you enjoy
your bag of
128
00:06:16,128 --> 00:06:19,030
"fert-al-izer."
129
00:06:20,399 --> 00:06:21,467
Hey, al.
130
00:06:21,534 --> 00:06:22,734
Tim! Hey,
ladies and gentlemen!
131
00:06:22,802 --> 00:06:24,002
Tim taylor!
All right!
132
00:06:25,204 --> 00:06:26,505
Tim, what are you
doing here?
133
00:06:26,573 --> 00:06:28,273
I was just about
to ask you the same thing.
134
00:06:28,341 --> 00:06:31,477
Yeah? Well, I decided
to branch out
into endorsements.
135
00:06:34,280 --> 00:06:36,582
You're endorsing fertilizer.
136
00:06:36,649 --> 00:06:40,653
Yeah. I guess it's
kind of like working
from the ground up.
137
00:06:41,921 --> 00:06:43,589
Can I talk to you
privately for a minute?
138
00:06:43,657 --> 00:06:45,257
Sure.
139
00:06:45,324 --> 00:06:46,625
Mr. Likeability
will be back
in a few minutes
140
00:06:46,693 --> 00:06:48,494
To sign your bags.
Okay, guys?
141
00:06:48,562 --> 00:06:51,229
Meanwhile, why don't you
pull your cars around
so I can load them easier?
142
00:06:52,031 --> 00:06:53,599
Come out here.
143
00:06:55,501 --> 00:06:56,935
What are you doing?
144
00:06:57,003 --> 00:06:58,937
I'm capitalizing
on my newfound
popularity.
145
00:06:59,005 --> 00:07:01,373
Is this why you've been
leaving work early
for the last couple of days?
146
00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:04,242
Well, actually, on Tuesday
I opened a lamp store.
147
00:07:04,310 --> 00:07:08,113
And on Wednesday
I was keynote speaker
at spacklefest '98!
148
00:07:10,583 --> 00:07:13,118
If you want to capitalize
on your newfound popularity,
149
00:07:13,186 --> 00:07:17,522
You might want to aim
your sights a little higher
than spackle and dung.
150
00:07:17,590 --> 00:07:19,725
Well, I don't want to impose
on our friendship.
151
00:07:19,793 --> 00:07:22,995
But if you could give me
some career advice,
you know, coach me a little,
152
00:07:23,063 --> 00:07:25,864
Maybe I could get
some better endorsements.
153
00:07:25,932 --> 00:07:28,734
Well, I hate to see you
signing this crap.
154
00:07:30,469 --> 00:07:32,938
Hi.
Hi. What are you doing?
155
00:07:33,006 --> 00:07:35,107
Mapping out al's destiny.
156
00:07:35,174 --> 00:07:38,777
And yet you couldn't
put the dishes in the sink.
157
00:07:38,844 --> 00:07:41,179
Listen to this.
I got him the cover
of handyman monthly.
158
00:07:41,247 --> 00:07:43,482
On Saturday, he's doing
a radio commercial for
welder's warehouse,
159
00:07:43,550 --> 00:07:47,219
And Sunday, a pre-shoot
for a commercial
for faucets-n-stuff.
160
00:07:47,286 --> 00:07:48,754
You know,
I'm really impressed
with the way
161
00:07:48,821 --> 00:07:51,156
You've been able to
put your ego aside
and help al.
162
00:07:51,223 --> 00:07:53,993
Honey, he was knee-deep
swimming in cow pies.
163
00:07:55,561 --> 00:07:58,397
And you dove in
and saved him.
164
00:07:58,464 --> 00:07:59,531
I like this stuff.
165
00:07:59,599 --> 00:08:01,567
Now, al's strengths
are his sincerity
166
00:08:01,634 --> 00:08:03,735
And his
groundbreaking dullness.
167
00:08:05,705 --> 00:08:09,208
I can manipulate
that kind of talent
a 100 ways from Sunday.
168
00:08:10,143 --> 00:08:11,443
And yet...
169
00:08:15,048 --> 00:08:17,615
Come on, come on, come on.
If you want to go to the mall,
I'm leaving now.
170
00:08:17,683 --> 00:08:19,484
Hey, listen, erica,
I got to go.
171
00:08:19,552 --> 00:08:22,988
But I just want
to let you know
that I'm here for you
172
00:08:23,056 --> 00:08:27,059
And that I sympathize
with your needs.
173
00:08:27,126 --> 00:08:32,030
Oh, really?
Hey, great. All right.
See you then. Bye.
174
00:08:32,098 --> 00:08:35,400
Guess what?
Erica's coming over
to cry on my shoulder.
175
00:08:35,468 --> 00:08:37,102
What's the matter with erica?
176
00:08:37,170 --> 00:08:38,503
Oh, her boyfriend
broke up with her.
177
00:08:38,571 --> 00:08:40,238
And I'm helping her
through her anguish.
178
00:08:40,306 --> 00:08:42,574
What do you know
about anguish?
179
00:08:43,810 --> 00:08:45,844
I live with
you and dad.
180
00:08:49,048 --> 00:08:50,749
Finally back.
181
00:08:50,817 --> 00:08:53,985
Hi. So, what are
you and al
gonna do today?
182
00:08:54,053 --> 00:08:57,322
Oh. First we have
a strategy meeting here.
183
00:08:57,390 --> 00:08:59,090
Then this afternoon
we're off to zug island.
184
00:08:59,158 --> 00:09:02,060
The port authority
is gonna have him
christen his own ship.
185
00:09:02,128 --> 00:09:03,963
How did you
come up with that?
186
00:09:04,030 --> 00:09:07,799
It's amazing.
He's got a big appeal among
dock workers ages 19 to 47.
187
00:09:09,235 --> 00:09:12,303
I wonder
who they latch onto
when they turn 48?
188
00:09:13,205 --> 00:09:14,640
Andy rooney.
189
00:09:16,009 --> 00:09:17,009
Knock-knock! Hi!
190
00:09:17,076 --> 00:09:18,376
Hi, al.
191
00:09:18,444 --> 00:09:19,778
Honey,
I'll see you guys later.
Bye.
192
00:09:19,846 --> 00:09:21,346
Bye.
See you later.
193
00:09:21,414 --> 00:09:23,214
Okay, al.
I have your sailor suit
all pressed.
194
00:09:23,282 --> 00:09:24,883
Are you excited,
or what?
195
00:09:24,951 --> 00:09:27,052
Well, there's something else
I'm even more excited about.
196
00:09:27,119 --> 00:09:28,420
Come on.
197
00:09:28,487 --> 00:09:30,522
I've added
a new member
to our team.
198
00:09:30,590 --> 00:09:32,991
I've hired a manager.
A what?
199
00:09:33,059 --> 00:09:35,294
Now, now, come on!
You're a great coach.
200
00:09:35,361 --> 00:09:38,530
Now I've brought someone in
to run the ball club.
All right!
201
00:09:38,597 --> 00:09:41,366
Well, al, we don't need
a manager. I lined up
a great gig for you today.
202
00:09:41,434 --> 00:09:42,935
You're christening a ship.
203
00:09:43,002 --> 00:09:44,636
It's a trash barge.
204
00:09:44,704 --> 00:09:47,005
It's a slag barge.
205
00:09:47,073 --> 00:09:48,907
It's a cadillac
of waste products.
206
00:09:48,975 --> 00:09:51,777
Well, let's see
what my manager has
to say about that, you know?
207
00:09:51,845 --> 00:09:54,613
He's coming over.
I invited him to
our strategy session.
208
00:09:54,680 --> 00:09:55,680
He's coming here?
Yeah.
209
00:09:55,749 --> 00:09:57,382
Yeah, his name
is roy becker.
210
00:09:57,450 --> 00:09:59,918
You're gonna love him.
He's smart.
He's savvy.
211
00:09:59,986 --> 00:10:01,820
He's got a great
sense of humor.
212
00:10:01,888 --> 00:10:03,656
What are
roy becker's credentials?
213
00:10:03,723 --> 00:10:06,891
Well, he's president of
roy becker and associates.
214
00:10:08,894 --> 00:10:11,362
Wait a minute,
wait a minute.
I know that name.
215
00:10:11,430 --> 00:10:14,633
Didn't he use to manage
that other cable guy,
fishin' with freddie?
216
00:10:14,701 --> 00:10:17,536
Might have.
He handles
a lot of big stars.
217
00:10:17,603 --> 00:10:19,170
(doorbell rings)
218
00:10:19,238 --> 00:10:22,640
There he is.
Coming! Coming!
219
00:10:22,708 --> 00:10:24,876
Hey, superstar!
What's happening, baby?
220
00:10:24,944 --> 00:10:26,178
Hey!
There he is.
Tim taylor.
221
00:10:26,245 --> 00:10:27,546
How are you,
my man?
222
00:10:27,613 --> 00:10:28,913
Hey.
Roy becker.
Nice to meet you.
223
00:10:28,981 --> 00:10:31,116
Hey, roy.
Hey, nice pad
you got here.
224
00:10:31,184 --> 00:10:32,417
You know,
I used to
live around here
225
00:10:32,485 --> 00:10:34,619
Then I, uh, made
something of myself.
226
00:10:34,687 --> 00:10:36,754
I'm just kidding.
227
00:10:36,822 --> 00:10:39,191
He's got a great
sense of humor.
228
00:10:39,259 --> 00:10:40,959
I can't wait to see it.
229
00:10:42,261 --> 00:10:43,595
Hey, you want
some coffee?
230
00:10:43,663 --> 00:10:46,865
Coffee? No.
No coffee for me.
It makes me hyper.
231
00:10:46,933 --> 00:10:49,635
I'm here for one thing
and I'm here
for one thing only.
232
00:10:49,702 --> 00:10:52,671
And that's
to take al to the top.
233
00:10:52,739 --> 00:10:54,640
This is
the greatest day
of my life!
234
00:10:54,707 --> 00:10:56,875
I got my manager.
I got my coach.
235
00:10:56,943 --> 00:10:57,976
Yeah!
Look out, world!
236
00:10:58,044 --> 00:11:00,045
Here comes
team borland!
237
00:11:01,313 --> 00:11:03,682
Can't wait for that
team physical, huh?
238
00:11:07,619 --> 00:11:10,589
Okay, fellas.
Now, let's talk game plan.
239
00:11:10,657 --> 00:11:12,424
As I understand it,
240
00:11:12,492 --> 00:11:14,326
Taylor's got you
peddling faucets
and metal garbage.
241
00:11:14,394 --> 00:11:16,127
Which is fine.
Don't get me wrong.
242
00:11:16,195 --> 00:11:18,930
But now it's time to move up
to the major leagues.
243
00:11:18,998 --> 00:11:20,399
Major leagues?
244
00:11:20,466 --> 00:11:23,902
National commercials.
I'm talking an m.O.W.
245
00:11:23,969 --> 00:11:26,505
M.O.W.? A mow?
What will I be mowing?
246
00:11:27,973 --> 00:11:30,074
M.O.W.
Is a movie of the week.
247
00:11:30,142 --> 00:11:31,442
I'm gonna be
in the movies?
248
00:11:31,510 --> 00:11:33,311
Al, you're a big hit
with women, baby.
249
00:11:33,379 --> 00:11:35,313
I can get you on
the lifetime channel
250
00:11:35,381 --> 00:11:37,415
Playing opposite
morgan fairchild.
251
00:11:37,483 --> 00:11:39,818
Morgan fairchild?
I love her!
252
00:11:39,885 --> 00:11:41,953
Wait, wait.
Reality check. Come on!
Roy: What?
253
00:11:42,021 --> 00:11:44,155
This is a pitch man.
He's not an actor.
254
00:11:44,223 --> 00:11:45,824
Actor-shmactor!
255
00:11:45,891 --> 00:11:48,092
He'll act happy when he sees
the money rolling in, huh?
256
00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:50,496
Oh, boy!
257
00:11:50,563 --> 00:11:52,130
What are you
leading him on for here, roy?
258
00:11:52,198 --> 00:11:54,366
I'm not leading him on.
Hey, look, taylor.
259
00:11:54,433 --> 00:11:56,134
If he doesn't make money,
I don't make money.
260
00:11:56,202 --> 00:11:58,936
And if I don't make money,
I'm back living in
this neighborhood.
261
00:11:59,004 --> 00:12:00,572
I did it again!
262
00:12:02,308 --> 00:12:04,008
Why are you being
such a doubting thomas?
263
00:12:04,076 --> 00:12:05,910
You know,
the big time
is beckoning!
264
00:12:06,179 --> 00:12:09,181
So are 150 slag workers
who want to see you
in a sailor suit.
265
00:12:09,248 --> 00:12:10,716
Yeah? Well,
they're out of luck.
266
00:12:10,783 --> 00:12:12,350
Let me tell you right now,
al, I don't want this
going to your head,
267
00:12:12,418 --> 00:12:14,252
But garbage
is beneath you.
You think so?
268
00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:15,954
I know so! Blow them off!
269
00:12:16,022 --> 00:12:17,756
I tell you what.
You come have lunch with me.
270
00:12:17,824 --> 00:12:19,691
I got a big
commercial director
I want to introduce you to.
271
00:12:19,759 --> 00:12:21,392
Come on.
Come on. I'm telling you,
you can make some money here.
272
00:12:21,460 --> 00:12:23,829
Wait, wait, wait.
We made a promise
to local 299.
273
00:12:23,896 --> 00:12:26,131
And the local
doesn't like it when
you break their promises.
274
00:12:26,198 --> 00:12:28,733
You know what? You want to
dress up like popeye
for the rest of your life?
275
00:12:28,801 --> 00:12:30,635
Or do you want to
make some money?
Come on. Let's go.
276
00:12:30,702 --> 00:12:33,371
I don't know what to do.
I'm so conflicted!
277
00:12:33,439 --> 00:12:34,406
Look, I'll make it
easy for you.
278
00:12:34,473 --> 00:12:35,740
You go with roy
or you go with me.
279
00:12:35,808 --> 00:12:39,277
And I think you know
what the responsible thing
to do is.
280
00:12:39,345 --> 00:12:42,046
Obviously, you're gonna
have to fill in for me.
281
00:12:42,114 --> 00:12:44,349
And thank you!
You were a great coach.
282
00:12:44,417 --> 00:12:47,051
Thanks, taylor.
You're a good man.
Beautiful house.
283
00:12:52,692 --> 00:12:55,327
And then he said,
"well, why didn't you
tell me that before?"
284
00:12:55,394 --> 00:12:57,696
And I said,
"well, I thought
that it was obvious."
285
00:12:57,763 --> 00:13:00,365
And he said,
"well, it wasn't
obvious to me."
286
00:13:00,433 --> 00:13:02,634
Isn't it
obvious to you?
287
00:13:02,702 --> 00:13:03,768
Huh?
288
00:13:05,738 --> 00:13:07,739
I asked if
it was obvious to you.
289
00:13:07,806 --> 00:13:09,774
It doesn't matter
what I think.
290
00:13:09,842 --> 00:13:13,411
Just keep
sharing your feelings
and I'll keep listening.
291
00:13:13,479 --> 00:13:16,681
Well, I'd really like to know
what you think.
292
00:13:16,749 --> 00:13:18,816
Well, I hurt when you hurt.
293
00:13:21,019 --> 00:13:22,654
What are you talking about?
294
00:13:22,722 --> 00:13:24,522
I'm not hurting.
295
00:13:24,590 --> 00:13:27,125
Well, then I'm not either.
296
00:13:27,193 --> 00:13:31,163
Mark, I want you
to tell me one thing
that I just talked about.
297
00:13:31,231 --> 00:13:33,398
You used the word "obvious."
298
00:13:34,834 --> 00:13:36,068
That's what I thought.
299
00:13:36,135 --> 00:13:38,370
You know,
you're even worse
than my boyfriend.
300
00:13:38,437 --> 00:13:41,506
At least he's honest
about not listening to me.
301
00:13:44,643 --> 00:13:46,845
I sympathize
with your needs!
302
00:13:51,851 --> 00:13:56,521
Well, brad,
thanks to you,
erica hates me.
303
00:13:56,589 --> 00:13:59,224
What?
Your stupid advice backfired.
304
00:13:59,291 --> 00:14:02,861
I should never have pretended
to care about her feelings.
305
00:14:03,663 --> 00:14:05,163
So, you taught him that?
306
00:14:05,231 --> 00:14:07,098
Look, I'm sorry, mom.
307
00:14:07,166 --> 00:14:09,934
I know you're disappointed.
But if it makes
you feel any better,
308
00:14:10,002 --> 00:14:11,869
I hurt when you hurt.
309
00:14:13,673 --> 00:14:17,108
That's it. I'm canceling
your subscription to sassy.
310
00:14:18,977 --> 00:14:20,545
(jill laughing)
311
00:14:31,089 --> 00:14:33,491
So, captain,
where's tennille?
312
00:14:36,595 --> 00:14:40,531
Like I haven't heard that
from 6,500 longshoremen?
313
00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:43,768
Well, I thought al
was supposed to do
the entertaining.
314
00:14:43,836 --> 00:14:45,503
He was until
he backed out
315
00:14:45,571 --> 00:14:48,073
On the advice of
his new manager,
roy becker.
316
00:14:48,140 --> 00:14:51,142
Roy becker.
I know that name.
317
00:14:51,210 --> 00:14:54,546
Didn't he use to live
in this neighborhood
before he made it big?
318
00:14:56,081 --> 00:14:57,382
All the work
I did for al,
319
00:14:57,450 --> 00:15:00,218
He just forgets about me
and picks another guy.
320
00:15:00,286 --> 00:15:02,220
That is terrible.
It doesn't sound like al.
321
00:15:02,287 --> 00:15:03,788
(phone ringing)
322
00:15:07,193 --> 00:15:09,027
Ahoy.
Promenade deck.
323
00:15:12,131 --> 00:15:15,233
Oh, hi, al.
You need a day off?
324
00:15:15,301 --> 00:15:17,869
Well, why...
Get out of town!
325
00:15:19,738 --> 00:15:22,173
All right.
Well, tell...
326
00:15:22,241 --> 00:15:24,476
Okay. All right.
Thanks. Bye.
327
00:15:26,045 --> 00:15:27,212
What was that about?
328
00:15:27,279 --> 00:15:29,314
They're shooting
a movie of the week
here in town.
329
00:15:29,382 --> 00:15:31,349
He's got a bit part
with morgan fairchild.
330
00:15:31,417 --> 00:15:32,484
Ah!
331
00:15:32,551 --> 00:15:33,918
I love her!
332
00:15:37,656 --> 00:15:39,490
You can start as early
as you want, wilson.
333
00:15:39,558 --> 00:15:42,527
But I'm still gonna kick butt
in that christmas
lighting contest.
334
00:15:42,594 --> 00:15:44,929
No. This is not
for christmas, tim.
335
00:15:44,997 --> 00:15:46,732
Are you familiar
with who inspired
336
00:15:46,799 --> 00:15:49,868
The indian festival
of deepawali?
337
00:15:49,935 --> 00:15:54,038
I'm still wondering
who put the bop in
the bop-she-bop-she-bop.
338
00:15:54,106 --> 00:15:55,940
Well, probably
the same person
who put the ram
339
00:15:56,008 --> 00:15:58,777
In the ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong.
340
00:15:58,845 --> 00:16:01,312
You want to know who put al
in a movie of the week
341
00:16:01,381 --> 00:16:03,281
With morgan fairchild?
342
00:16:03,349 --> 00:16:05,751
Morgan fairchild?
I love her!
343
00:16:08,053 --> 00:16:11,122
Well, good going, tim.
You are quite a coach.
344
00:16:11,190 --> 00:16:13,191
Al hired
a professional manager.
345
00:16:13,259 --> 00:16:14,559
Well, good for al.
346
00:16:14,627 --> 00:16:15,727
He fired me.
347
00:16:15,795 --> 00:16:17,128
Bad for you.
348
00:16:17,196 --> 00:16:19,364
Don't feel bad for me,
I feel bad for al.
349
00:16:19,432 --> 00:16:21,232
The overnight sensation
who's appearing in a movie
350
00:16:21,300 --> 00:16:23,067
With morgan fairchild?
351
00:16:23,135 --> 00:16:26,137
I'm not jealous or anything.
I just think
he's moving too fast.
352
00:16:26,205 --> 00:16:28,573
It's like frankenstein
loose on the world
353
00:16:28,641 --> 00:16:31,777
Without his doctor
by his side, you know?
354
00:16:31,844 --> 00:16:33,111
What was the doctor's name?
355
00:16:33,178 --> 00:16:34,513
Frankenstein.
356
00:16:36,348 --> 00:16:39,384
They were related?
357
00:16:39,452 --> 00:16:41,486
You know, tim,
I can understand
your concern for al.
358
00:16:41,554 --> 00:16:45,757
But I'm also reminded of
the persian writer
nasir-I khusraw.
359
00:16:45,825 --> 00:16:50,629
He said, "though god
creates the mother,
the breast and the milk,
360
00:16:50,696 --> 00:16:54,433
"the children must
draw for themselves
their mother's milk."
361
00:16:57,970 --> 00:17:01,406
Wilson, you just gave me
12 horrible images.
362
00:17:03,743 --> 00:17:06,778
No, no, no, no.
I'm just saying, just as
the child learns self-reliance
363
00:17:06,846 --> 00:17:08,179
By separating
from his mother,
364
00:17:08,247 --> 00:17:11,550
So the assistant learns
by separating
from the tool man.
365
00:17:11,617 --> 00:17:15,954
Maybe what al needs
is protection and support
so he's not left hanging.
366
00:17:16,021 --> 00:17:18,757
So I'll just buy him
a sturdy jockstrap.
367
00:17:19,892 --> 00:17:22,226
Hello, horrible image
number 13.
368
00:17:25,731 --> 00:17:28,199
Scene 223 baker.
Take 15.
369
00:17:29,134 --> 00:17:30,969
Director: And action!
370
00:17:32,004 --> 00:17:34,472
You're leaving me
for my sister?
371
00:17:35,274 --> 00:17:36,608
Which one?
372
00:17:36,675 --> 00:17:38,643
The one carrying my baby.
373
00:17:40,979 --> 00:17:43,881
Get out! Get out
and never come back!
374
00:17:55,127 --> 00:17:56,594
(morgan fairchild crying)
375
00:17:58,263 --> 00:18:01,866
Great news.
I've snaked the toilet
and you're good to go.
376
00:18:06,805 --> 00:18:08,573
Thank you, gerard.
377
00:18:09,742 --> 00:18:13,511
Now, what have you got
for a broken heart?
378
00:18:13,578 --> 00:18:17,648
Hey, maggie!
What's the matter?
You can tell gerard.
379
00:18:17,716 --> 00:18:18,984
Oh, I'm sorry. I...
380
00:18:19,051 --> 00:18:20,051
Cut!
381
00:18:20,118 --> 00:18:22,487
The woman is
emotionally devastated
382
00:18:22,555 --> 00:18:27,725
And you come bouncing in
and salute her like gomer pyle
on a sugar high?
383
00:18:27,793 --> 00:18:29,360
(imitating gomer pyle)
well, golly!
384
00:18:30,930 --> 00:18:32,030
What are you doing here?
385
00:18:32,097 --> 00:18:34,365
Just here
to support borland.
How's he doing?
386
00:18:34,433 --> 00:18:38,636
I had more fun
at my last
prostate examination.
387
00:18:38,704 --> 00:18:41,939
Uh, why don't you
let me work with him
for just a second?
388
00:18:42,007 --> 00:18:45,343
Thanks. Thanks.
389
00:18:45,411 --> 00:18:49,614
Al, you know,
I am really enjoying
playing opposite you.
390
00:18:49,682 --> 00:18:52,450
Oh, wow! Thank you,
morgan fairchild!
391
00:18:53,452 --> 00:18:55,487
No. Please just
call me morgan.
392
00:18:55,555 --> 00:19:02,194
You know, al,
you have this reality
that I just find so exciting.
393
00:19:02,261 --> 00:19:06,731
And if you could
tap into that reality,
394
00:19:08,133 --> 00:19:11,969
I could respond
very passionately.
395
00:19:13,272 --> 00:19:14,972
Do you understand?
396
00:19:20,813 --> 00:19:22,647
All right, everybody,
let's go again.
397
00:19:22,714 --> 00:19:24,382
We'll take it from
gerard's entrance.
398
00:19:25,484 --> 00:19:26,651
Action!
399
00:19:30,756 --> 00:19:34,326
Great news.
I've snaked the toilet
and you're good to go.
400
00:19:36,962 --> 00:19:39,364
Thank you, gerard.
401
00:19:39,431 --> 00:19:43,701
Now, what have you got
for a broken heart?
402
00:19:45,871 --> 00:19:47,572
Oh, morgan...
Cut!
403
00:19:49,342 --> 00:19:50,942
Get me a new gerard.
404
00:19:51,009 --> 00:19:52,443
Borland, you're fired.
405
00:19:52,511 --> 00:19:54,278
Hey, get me freddie,
the fish guy.
406
00:19:54,346 --> 00:19:55,513
Wait a minute.
407
00:19:55,581 --> 00:19:57,682
You're replacing al
with a guy that
bobs for bass?
408
00:19:57,750 --> 00:19:59,116
Let me see
if I can get him
on the phone.
409
00:19:59,184 --> 00:20:01,018
You can't do this.
He put his trust in you.
410
00:20:01,086 --> 00:20:03,621
You know, taylor,
it's times like
this I hate myself.
411
00:20:03,689 --> 00:20:07,158
But then I buy
myself a new suit
and I feel terrific.
412
00:20:07,225 --> 00:20:08,993
By the way,
who represents you?
Well, I...
413
00:20:09,061 --> 00:20:12,363
Hey, frederico! Hey!
How's the fish biting?
Hey, baby, yeah!
414
00:20:12,431 --> 00:20:14,866
Hey, al. Hey.
415
00:20:14,934 --> 00:20:16,333
Oh. When did
you get here?
416
00:20:16,402 --> 00:20:17,769
I got here in time to see
your last two takes.
417
00:20:17,836 --> 00:20:18,836
They're good.
It's good stuff.
418
00:20:18,904 --> 00:20:20,938
Time to see me
get fired.
419
00:20:21,006 --> 00:20:22,473
Well, that's okay.
I mean, the last take
was good.
420
00:20:22,541 --> 00:20:24,341
The way you
committed to the salute,
kind of half-salute.
421
00:20:24,410 --> 00:20:26,544
It was kind of funny stuff.
I mean, you were
going with it.
422
00:20:26,612 --> 00:20:30,214
No, maybe you're right.
Maybe I'm just not an actor.
423
00:20:30,282 --> 00:20:31,916
Maybe not now.
You take a few classes.
424
00:20:31,983 --> 00:20:36,454
The next thing you know,
you'll be back
in morgan fairchild's arms.
425
00:20:36,522 --> 00:20:40,791
I just...
I guess I tried
to fly too high too fast.
426
00:20:40,859 --> 00:20:42,993
Gravity is a cruel mistress.
427
00:20:44,629 --> 00:20:47,065
Your mom probably
taught you that.
428
00:20:49,869 --> 00:20:53,571
I should've been happy
with the career path
we were working on, you know?
429
00:20:53,639 --> 00:20:56,274
There's no shame
in making
longshoremen happy.
430
00:20:56,341 --> 00:20:58,409
At least not
in this state.
431
00:20:58,577 --> 00:21:01,679
You know, it doesn't matter
that I work with
morgan fairchild.
432
00:21:01,747 --> 00:21:03,614
You know,
the important thing
is that
433
00:21:03,682 --> 00:21:06,184
I have a good friend
like you. You know?
434
00:21:06,252 --> 00:21:08,586
Because when
push comes to shove,
you know, you're there.
435
00:21:08,653 --> 00:21:09,988
Well...
Al.
436
00:21:10,056 --> 00:21:12,357
Yes,
morgan fairchild?
437
00:21:12,424 --> 00:21:14,525
I am so sorry
about this. Um...
438
00:21:14,593 --> 00:21:16,660
May I have
your autograph?
439
00:21:18,230 --> 00:21:20,965
You...
You want my autograph?
440
00:21:21,033 --> 00:21:22,934
Well, actually,
it's not for me.
It's for my dad.
441
00:21:23,002 --> 00:21:25,436
He's a huge fan
of tool time.
442
00:21:25,504 --> 00:21:28,506
Well, he probably
wants mine, too. Hi.
I'm tim the tool man.
443
00:21:28,574 --> 00:21:30,909
Hi. No, he didn't
mention you.
444
00:21:32,411 --> 00:21:34,178
Thanks.
445
00:21:34,246 --> 00:21:37,348
I, on the other hand,
am a huge fan
of yours, honey.
446
00:21:43,855 --> 00:21:46,257
Morgan fairchild.
I love her!
447
00:21:50,996 --> 00:21:52,029
Hey, cleotis!
448
00:21:52,097 --> 00:21:53,331
Hey, mr. Taylor!
449
00:21:58,437 --> 00:22:00,705
I've branched out
into endorsements.
450
00:22:00,773 --> 00:22:05,443
You're endorsing dung.
That's dung.
That's not dung.
451
00:22:05,511 --> 00:22:07,912
You know, tim,
I can understand
your concerns about al.
452
00:22:07,979 --> 00:22:13,684
But I'm also reminded of
the persian writer,
kooty-koogy-googy.
453
00:22:13,752 --> 00:22:15,419
Koogy-googy-oogy.
What is his name?