1 00:00:01,355 --> 00:00:03,756 Welcome to a very magical tool time. 2 00:00:09,029 --> 00:00:11,197 That was just a cheesy video effect. 3 00:00:11,264 --> 00:00:13,266 On today's show, we're gonna have some real magic. 4 00:00:13,333 --> 00:00:15,367 That's right. Heidi is going to introduce us 5 00:00:15,435 --> 00:00:18,503 To two of the world's biggest prestidigitators. 6 00:00:21,808 --> 00:00:23,909 Not on this show you're not. 7 00:00:26,079 --> 00:00:27,446 No, no. 8 00:00:27,514 --> 00:00:29,848 A prestidigitator is a magician. 9 00:00:29,916 --> 00:00:30,916 Oh. 10 00:00:31,451 --> 00:00:33,018 Phew. 11 00:00:33,086 --> 00:00:34,953 Well, in that case, you're wondering 12 00:00:35,021 --> 00:00:37,189 Why would you have a magician on this show? 13 00:00:37,257 --> 00:00:38,591 That's because I think magic is cool. 14 00:00:38,659 --> 00:00:39,925 In order to spice tool time up, 15 00:00:39,993 --> 00:00:42,194 We're gonna turn tool time into cool time. 16 00:00:42,262 --> 00:00:45,230 Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome penn & teller! 17 00:00:45,299 --> 00:00:46,432 (all applauding) 18 00:00:56,977 --> 00:00:57,977 Thank you. 19 00:00:59,012 --> 00:01:00,445 Oh, wow! This is great. 20 00:01:00,513 --> 00:01:01,714 Great to have you on the show. 21 00:01:01,782 --> 00:01:03,082 Oh, it's great to be here. I'm such a... 22 00:01:03,150 --> 00:01:04,583 I'm such a big fan of tool time. 23 00:01:04,651 --> 00:01:05,952 Teller, how about you? 24 00:01:06,019 --> 00:01:07,753 He doesn't talk. 25 00:01:07,821 --> 00:01:09,789 An assistant who doesn't talk. 26 00:01:11,825 --> 00:01:13,859 I'd like to switch. I've got 20 bucks right here... 27 00:01:13,927 --> 00:01:15,193 Where's my wallet? 28 00:01:18,398 --> 00:01:20,365 Al: Oh, that's great! 29 00:01:20,433 --> 00:01:21,767 He's very good. He's... 30 00:01:21,835 --> 00:01:23,435 That's the really tough one. 31 00:01:26,673 --> 00:01:28,975 They are very good, huh? 32 00:01:29,042 --> 00:01:31,143 So, what other tricks are you gonna show us today? 33 00:01:31,445 --> 00:01:33,880 We're gonna show you the houdini box escape! 34 00:01:33,947 --> 00:01:35,447 Houdini box escape! 35 00:01:35,516 --> 00:01:37,850 We have a perfectly ordinary box here. Solid plywood. 36 00:01:37,918 --> 00:01:39,451 Need someone to examine it, 37 00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:41,621 Make sure there are no trapdoors or secret panels or anything. 38 00:01:41,688 --> 00:01:42,722 Anybody? 39 00:01:42,789 --> 00:01:44,390 Tim, why don't you examine it here? 40 00:01:44,457 --> 00:01:47,192 You're the expert on structural integrity. Check it out here. 41 00:01:47,260 --> 00:01:48,861 Check it out. Check it out on the inside. 42 00:01:48,929 --> 00:01:50,262 Be sure to check the bottom there. 43 00:01:50,330 --> 00:01:51,597 Make sure there are no trapdoors. 44 00:01:51,665 --> 00:01:53,132 No trapdoor. 45 00:01:53,199 --> 00:01:54,734 You want to make sure there's no catch there or anything. 46 00:01:54,801 --> 00:01:55,868 All right. 47 00:01:55,936 --> 00:01:56,969 Just check it out there. There we go! 48 00:01:57,037 --> 00:01:58,370 Tim: Hey! 49 00:01:58,438 --> 00:01:59,471 There we go. 50 00:02:00,541 --> 00:02:02,575 Watch your fingers. Watch your fingers. 51 00:02:03,477 --> 00:02:04,911 There we go. 52 00:02:06,212 --> 00:02:07,513 How are you doing in there, tim? 53 00:02:07,581 --> 00:02:08,614 Tim: I'm in a box! 54 00:02:08,682 --> 00:02:10,816 All right! 55 00:02:10,884 --> 00:02:12,818 Okay. So, what happens now? 56 00:02:12,886 --> 00:02:17,622 Well, if he were houdini, he'd be escaping in about 38 seconds. 57 00:02:17,690 --> 00:02:20,359 But since it's tim, it's gonna be awhile. 58 00:02:20,427 --> 00:02:21,427 Get comfortable. 59 00:02:21,495 --> 00:02:23,061 Tim: What? 60 00:02:23,129 --> 00:02:25,097 Excellent trick! 61 00:02:25,165 --> 00:02:26,432 Tim: Shut up, al. 62 00:02:29,535 --> 00:02:32,270 So, what do you want to do? It's al's tool time now. 63 00:02:35,442 --> 00:02:37,376 All right. Well, can we saw this in half? 64 00:02:37,444 --> 00:02:40,078 How about we saw teller in half? He's coming right over here. 65 00:02:40,146 --> 00:02:41,380 Tim: Hey, let me out of here! It's my show! 66 00:02:41,447 --> 00:02:43,815 Penn: Yeah. Was your show. Hurry up. 67 00:02:43,884 --> 00:02:45,617 Look at this. So, you can saw him in half. 68 00:02:45,685 --> 00:02:47,419 What would you like to use? What tool? 69 00:02:47,487 --> 00:02:51,023 Well, why don't we use the binford 6100 power handsaw? 70 00:02:51,091 --> 00:02:52,925 Tim: That's too much saw for al! 71 00:02:55,061 --> 00:02:57,430 Save your oxygen. 72 00:02:57,497 --> 00:02:59,965 This works most of the time. Go ahead, give it a shot. 73 00:03:00,300 --> 00:03:01,633 You'll be okay. 74 00:03:03,002 --> 00:03:05,170 There you go. Beautiful. 75 00:03:05,238 --> 00:03:08,841 Oh, nicely done. Nicely done. Beautifully done. 76 00:03:08,908 --> 00:03:11,877 Beautiful. Now, let's just prove you went all the way through. 77 00:03:12,746 --> 00:03:14,145 There it is! 78 00:03:16,683 --> 00:03:18,717 I did it! All right! 79 00:03:18,785 --> 00:03:20,953 Now, are you okay? 80 00:03:21,021 --> 00:03:22,721 He's fine. He's fine. Yeah! 81 00:03:23,656 --> 00:03:25,023 You want to see how it's done? 82 00:03:25,091 --> 00:03:26,325 Tim: I'd like to see how it's done. 83 00:03:26,393 --> 00:03:29,061 Okay. Just... Well, we're not murderers. 84 00:03:29,128 --> 00:03:33,999 So, we just have teller squished up in the top half of the box. 85 00:03:34,067 --> 00:03:36,101 Al: Tim, you got to see this! 86 00:03:36,169 --> 00:03:37,703 That was so great. 87 00:03:37,771 --> 00:03:40,172 Then you just find some flunky backstage 88 00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:43,175 And use him to play the part of the feet. 89 00:03:43,243 --> 00:03:45,377 There he is! Escapo! 90 00:03:46,345 --> 00:03:48,413 Very nicely done, tim. 91 00:03:48,481 --> 00:03:50,349 Ladies and gentlemen, penn & teller! 92 00:04:40,266 --> 00:04:41,667 Hey, jill. Hi. 93 00:04:41,735 --> 00:04:43,235 What you working on? 94 00:04:43,303 --> 00:04:46,839 Oh, I have to write this essay describing myself 95 00:04:46,907 --> 00:04:49,708 For the phd application to u of m. 96 00:04:49,743 --> 00:04:53,144 Well, tell them you're brilliant, insightful and a great humanitarian. 97 00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:54,980 I am? 98 00:04:55,048 --> 00:04:57,216 No. But they don't know that, right? 99 00:04:57,284 --> 00:04:59,251 Brad, I can't screw this up. 100 00:04:59,319 --> 00:05:03,255 Some of us aren't soccer stars who can count on getting a scholarship. 101 00:05:03,322 --> 00:05:07,559 In fact, some of us are stuck working at the zoo, hosing out the penguin house. 102 00:05:10,230 --> 00:05:14,299 Well, that explains those feathers in the lint trap. 103 00:05:14,401 --> 00:05:15,901 Oh, your friend jim called, brad. 104 00:05:15,969 --> 00:05:17,536 Oh, yeah. 105 00:05:17,603 --> 00:05:20,138 He must be calling about that party he's having Saturday night. 106 00:05:20,206 --> 00:05:22,508 The ladies are gonna be rolling through there. 107 00:05:22,576 --> 00:05:24,743 Saturday night's all right for brad. 108 00:05:26,580 --> 00:05:29,314 Actually, Saturday night's kind of big for me, too. 109 00:05:29,382 --> 00:05:31,383 Chilly millie's eggs are gonna hatch. 110 00:05:34,153 --> 00:05:35,354 (door closing) 111 00:05:35,422 --> 00:05:36,788 Hey, guys. Jill: Hi. 112 00:05:36,856 --> 00:05:39,992 Say, did you guys catch tool time today? 113 00:05:40,060 --> 00:05:42,094 Yeah. I actually did. 114 00:05:42,161 --> 00:05:43,328 You watched tool time? 115 00:05:43,396 --> 00:05:46,098 Yeah. I was trying to avoid writing my essay. 116 00:05:47,367 --> 00:05:49,034 I was desperate. 117 00:05:49,102 --> 00:05:51,803 But, yeah, I really liked penn & teller. They were great. 118 00:05:51,871 --> 00:05:55,640 Yeah. You know, but some of the die-hard tool fans got to me after the show 119 00:05:55,708 --> 00:05:59,578 And said they're missing the regular, basic tool times, you know? 120 00:05:59,645 --> 00:06:01,380 Wonder if I'm alienating my fan base? 121 00:06:01,514 --> 00:06:03,749 Don't worry. He'll forgive you. 122 00:06:07,687 --> 00:06:09,788 Hey, guys. Hey, mark. 123 00:06:09,856 --> 00:06:12,358 What's the buzz about tool time around school? 124 00:06:12,425 --> 00:06:14,159 No one's ever heard of it. 125 00:06:15,996 --> 00:06:18,430 Hey, what's this big wet spot? 126 00:06:18,498 --> 00:06:21,566 Oh, it looks like the hallway toilet overflowed. I'll shut it off. 127 00:06:21,634 --> 00:06:24,069 Jill: Oh, no! Like we need this right now. 128 00:06:24,137 --> 00:06:26,505 Would you go downstairs in the basement and get some rags? 129 00:06:26,573 --> 00:06:28,374 Sure. I can't believe it! 130 00:06:28,441 --> 00:06:30,475 We're gonna have to pull up the rug and dry it out! 131 00:06:30,543 --> 00:06:31,776 Fix the toilet! 132 00:06:31,844 --> 00:06:33,478 You know, honey, as usual, 133 00:06:33,546 --> 00:06:37,649 You look at a broken toilet as half-empty, I look at it as half-full. 134 00:06:37,717 --> 00:06:40,553 This is a perfect project to get tool time back on track, huh? 135 00:06:40,620 --> 00:06:42,053 Oh, no, no, no. Yeah, yeah. 136 00:06:42,121 --> 00:06:43,489 No tool times in the house. It's disruptive. 137 00:06:43,556 --> 00:06:45,223 You always end up breaking something else. 138 00:06:45,291 --> 00:06:46,992 This broken toilet's too good an opportunity to pass up. 139 00:06:47,060 --> 00:06:49,361 It's like that guy that saw a spring. 140 00:06:49,429 --> 00:06:52,531 He said, "that's not a spring. That's a slinky." 141 00:06:57,103 --> 00:06:58,870 Welcome back to tool time on location. 142 00:06:58,938 --> 00:07:01,140 Today, we're gonna do a great old-fashioned tool time. 143 00:07:01,207 --> 00:07:02,774 It's a hands-on one. You'll enjoy it. 144 00:07:02,842 --> 00:07:05,577 That's right. You get to watch us in the bathroom. 145 00:07:07,780 --> 00:07:10,015 That's not all. Later, we're gonna replace carpet padding. 146 00:07:10,083 --> 00:07:12,451 What a show! 147 00:07:12,519 --> 00:07:16,555 Okay, this toilet overflowed through the top of the tank due to a broken float valve. 148 00:07:16,622 --> 00:07:19,058 Now, first you want to drain the tank, loosen the nuts 149 00:07:19,125 --> 00:07:21,460 And remove the old ball-cock assembly. 150 00:07:23,396 --> 00:07:26,398 Al's looking to do a similar procedure with his own doctor. 151 00:07:29,035 --> 00:07:32,804 Right now, al's gonna show us how to install a high-tech float mechanism. 152 00:07:32,872 --> 00:07:34,173 (exclaims in pain) 153 00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:35,841 Oh, I'm sorry. Cut! Sorry, guys. 154 00:07:35,908 --> 00:07:37,676 What's so important you gotta interrupt the show? 155 00:07:37,744 --> 00:07:39,778 I need my earring and my mousse. 156 00:07:41,047 --> 00:07:43,716 Your earring's probably in your mom's jewelry case. 157 00:07:43,783 --> 00:07:46,185 If you're looking for a moose, go to a vfw hall. 158 00:07:48,554 --> 00:07:49,822 Okay, now we're gonna show you 159 00:07:49,889 --> 00:07:51,857 How to deal with any water damage that may have occurred. 160 00:07:51,925 --> 00:07:54,727 In this case, it also damaged some of the carpet pad. 161 00:07:54,794 --> 00:07:56,328 And the drywall in the ceiling. 162 00:07:56,395 --> 00:07:58,097 We're gonna show you how to replace both. 163 00:07:58,164 --> 00:08:01,033 That's right. What could be a better hands-on tool time than that? 164 00:08:01,101 --> 00:08:03,168 I started this show, what? Nine years ago 165 00:08:03,236 --> 00:08:05,204 With just a dream and my hammer. 166 00:08:05,271 --> 00:08:08,006 And the best assistant that minimum wage could buy. 167 00:08:09,042 --> 00:08:10,943 Heidi: Oh, my god! Brad! 168 00:08:11,010 --> 00:08:12,577 Al: Are you all right? Cut, cut, cut! 169 00:08:12,645 --> 00:08:13,979 Tim: Are you all right? Brad: My knee. 170 00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:16,281 Your knee? You hit your knee? Okay, okay. Does this hurt? 171 00:08:16,349 --> 00:08:17,782 Yes. What kind of hurt is it? 172 00:08:17,851 --> 00:08:19,017 Pain! Okay. What kind of pain? 173 00:08:19,085 --> 00:08:20,452 Pain! 174 00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:21,319 It's an emergency! Emergency! 175 00:08:21,388 --> 00:08:22,421 Don't panic... 176 00:08:22,489 --> 00:08:24,223 Quick! Get a doc! Doctor, emergency! 177 00:08:24,290 --> 00:08:26,091 It's a good thing binford has a paramedic standing by, you know? 178 00:08:26,159 --> 00:08:27,626 Right here. Right this way. This way. 179 00:08:27,693 --> 00:08:29,261 He fell down the stairs. 180 00:08:34,167 --> 00:08:38,070 You might want to look at the guy that's at the bottom of the stairs. 181 00:08:55,922 --> 00:08:57,156 How's brad doing? 182 00:08:57,223 --> 00:08:59,024 Oh, his tests are almost done. 183 00:08:59,091 --> 00:09:01,360 He'll be out of radiology in a minute. 184 00:09:01,428 --> 00:09:03,028 I don't understand why I couldn't go in there with him. 185 00:09:03,129 --> 00:09:06,564 Because you've had so many x-rays you glow in the dark. 186 00:09:07,967 --> 00:09:10,369 I'm gonna check on brad. 187 00:09:10,436 --> 00:09:13,505 Tim, don't touch anything. 188 00:09:23,749 --> 00:09:24,749 (beeps) 189 00:09:29,655 --> 00:09:32,057 (ticking) 190 00:09:35,594 --> 00:09:37,529 (ticking rapidly) 191 00:09:48,041 --> 00:09:50,209 (flatline) 192 00:09:59,151 --> 00:10:00,652 Okay, brad. 193 00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:04,356 Dr. Brown is gonna come by and give you your x-ray results. 194 00:10:04,424 --> 00:10:05,524 Okay, now, use some of your weight. 195 00:10:05,591 --> 00:10:07,125 Ready, one, two, three, go. 196 00:10:19,939 --> 00:10:24,709 Okay, brad, if your dad tries to touch anything else, 197 00:10:24,777 --> 00:10:26,345 Just hit him with this. 198 00:10:28,481 --> 00:10:30,215 Will do. 199 00:10:30,283 --> 00:10:31,850 How you feeling? 200 00:10:31,917 --> 00:10:33,285 I feel terrible. I mean, this sucks. 201 00:10:33,353 --> 00:10:35,153 I have a game to get ready for on Sunday. 202 00:10:35,221 --> 00:10:37,288 I'll bet you'll be okay by game time, huh? 203 00:10:37,356 --> 00:10:41,426 I came as fast as I could. Oh, my god! My poor baby. 204 00:10:41,494 --> 00:10:43,328 What did the doctor say? 205 00:10:43,396 --> 00:10:45,330 They just got the x-rays, and we're waiting for the results. 206 00:10:45,398 --> 00:10:46,698 How did this happen? It was a fluke. 207 00:10:46,765 --> 00:10:48,067 You know, he wasn't watching where he was going. 208 00:10:48,134 --> 00:10:49,901 He just tripped down the stairs. 209 00:10:49,969 --> 00:10:51,970 Wait, wait. This is my fault? No fault. 210 00:10:52,038 --> 00:10:54,005 No, no, no. It's because of his stupid tool time. 211 00:10:54,074 --> 00:10:55,807 Oh, "stupid" tool time? Yes. Stupid tool time. 212 00:10:55,875 --> 00:10:57,809 Dad, you left the carpet in the middle of the stairs! 213 00:10:57,877 --> 00:10:59,277 I didn't leave it there. It wouldn't have been there 214 00:10:59,345 --> 00:11:00,745 If you'd waited to come down the stairs 215 00:11:00,813 --> 00:11:02,147 After we'd finished the scene. 216 00:11:02,214 --> 00:11:03,514 Hey, hey, hey, there's no point assigning blame. 217 00:11:03,582 --> 00:11:04,883 Yeah, well, he started it. I did not. 218 00:11:04,951 --> 00:11:06,184 Did, too. Did not. 219 00:11:06,252 --> 00:11:07,352 Did, too. 220 00:11:07,419 --> 00:11:09,788 Guys! Guys, knock it off! 221 00:11:09,856 --> 00:11:11,756 The important thing is it's gonna get taken care of, okay? 222 00:11:11,825 --> 00:11:12,924 Tim: Yeah. 223 00:11:13,492 --> 00:11:14,893 Hello, brad. 224 00:11:14,961 --> 00:11:16,428 Oh, hi. Hi. I'm jill taylor. 225 00:11:16,495 --> 00:11:18,230 Dr. Brown. Hi. Hi. 226 00:11:18,297 --> 00:11:19,931 Hey, dr. Brown. I know. Tim taylor. 227 00:11:19,999 --> 00:11:23,502 Thanks to you we have a spanking new cat scan machine! 228 00:11:26,772 --> 00:11:29,674 So, doctor, am I gonna be ready for the game on Sunday? 229 00:11:29,742 --> 00:11:33,645 Well, I'm afraid you won't be playing soccer for a while. 230 00:11:33,713 --> 00:11:35,681 What? 231 00:11:35,748 --> 00:11:38,684 You probably have a meniscal tear. 232 00:11:38,751 --> 00:11:40,753 Looks like you're gonna need surgery. 233 00:11:45,191 --> 00:11:47,459 Surgery. It's that serious? 234 00:11:48,427 --> 00:11:50,495 I can't believe this. 235 00:11:50,563 --> 00:11:52,064 Well, you know, as soon as it heals, 236 00:11:52,132 --> 00:11:53,866 It'll be as good as new, right? 237 00:11:55,468 --> 00:11:57,102 It will be as good as new, right? 238 00:11:57,170 --> 00:12:00,205 Well, it's hard to say. Here. Let me show you. 239 00:12:02,174 --> 00:12:04,309 The meniscus, which is right here, 240 00:12:04,377 --> 00:12:09,114 Is a cartilage disk which acts like a shock absorber for the knee joint. 241 00:12:09,182 --> 00:12:10,448 I see. 242 00:12:10,516 --> 00:12:13,218 It's like going over potholes without your suspension. 243 00:12:15,487 --> 00:12:21,059 Yes, mr. Taylor, it's just like that. 244 00:12:21,126 --> 00:12:26,398 There's no way to assess the full extent of the damage until we get inside. 245 00:12:26,465 --> 00:12:29,034 Well, should we schedule the surgery right away? 246 00:12:29,102 --> 00:12:32,171 Well, first I want to send you to an orthopedic surgeon. 247 00:12:32,238 --> 00:12:36,374 He'll do an mri to make sure my diagnosis is correct. 248 00:12:36,442 --> 00:12:39,945 And until then, brad, stay off that leg. 249 00:12:40,013 --> 00:12:41,980 Okay. Well, thank you, dr. Brown. 250 00:12:42,048 --> 00:12:43,148 Okay. 251 00:12:44,884 --> 00:12:46,785 This is a total nightmare. 252 00:12:46,853 --> 00:12:48,887 I mean, with a blown knee, I might never play soccer again. 253 00:12:48,955 --> 00:12:50,722 This could ruin my entire scholarship. 254 00:12:50,790 --> 00:12:51,990 Now, you don't know that. 255 00:12:52,058 --> 00:12:54,726 No. And if that was eventually the case, 256 00:12:54,794 --> 00:12:56,695 We could still pay for your college. 257 00:12:56,762 --> 00:12:59,263 And you'd be able to park closer to the school then. 258 00:13:03,635 --> 00:13:06,171 Dad, I'm not even gonna get into college without a soccer scholarship. 259 00:13:06,238 --> 00:13:08,573 If it wasn't for your stupid tool time, this would've never happened! 260 00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:09,874 It wasn't my stupid tool time. 261 00:13:09,942 --> 00:13:11,009 Yes, it is. There's no point blaming your dad. 262 00:13:11,077 --> 00:13:12,210 Come on, brad! 263 00:13:12,278 --> 00:13:13,744 Look, I'm sorry this happened. 264 00:13:13,812 --> 00:13:15,547 But we're not even sure how serious this is yet. 265 00:13:15,615 --> 00:13:16,547 Yeah. You don't even know if you're gonna have surgery. 266 00:13:16,616 --> 00:13:17,782 Yeah, or my career could be over. 267 00:13:17,850 --> 00:13:18,850 Let's not talk like that. 268 00:13:18,918 --> 00:13:20,885 No. Wait. 269 00:13:20,953 --> 00:13:23,088 Sometimes it's helpful to play out the worst-case scenario. 270 00:13:23,155 --> 00:13:24,889 All right. So, let's play out the worst-case scenario. 271 00:13:24,957 --> 00:13:26,758 All right. 272 00:13:26,826 --> 00:13:28,193 I've blown my knee, my career's over, I never get a job, 273 00:13:28,261 --> 00:13:30,295 I spend all my time sitting on the couch, watching tv 274 00:13:30,363 --> 00:13:33,064 And picking potato chips out of my cheesy mustache. 275 00:13:33,132 --> 00:13:36,201 Yeah, thanks! I feel great! 276 00:13:36,269 --> 00:13:38,670 That works much better in my psychology groups. 277 00:13:43,342 --> 00:13:46,778 Hey, brad. Do you want us to drop you by jim's soccer party? 278 00:13:47,814 --> 00:13:49,614 Yo, brad? 279 00:13:49,682 --> 00:13:52,050 Honey, do you want a ride or not? 280 00:13:52,117 --> 00:13:54,352 Yeah, I'm just dying to listen to people talk about soccer 281 00:13:54,420 --> 00:13:57,455 While I limp around like some washed-up loser. 282 00:13:57,523 --> 00:14:00,025 Well, do you want to go to the saginaw cheese awards banquet, huh? 283 00:14:00,093 --> 00:14:04,062 Yeah, your dad's nominated for car guy of the year again. 284 00:14:04,130 --> 00:14:07,199 He's gonna get the lifetime a-cheese-ment award. 285 00:14:09,769 --> 00:14:13,638 I'd rather sit here and relive the highlights of my youth. 286 00:14:13,706 --> 00:14:16,441 Okay. Well, you know, maybe it's better if you get some rest 287 00:14:16,509 --> 00:14:18,910 Before the operation, Monday. 288 00:14:18,978 --> 00:14:20,845 We'll see you later. 289 00:14:23,816 --> 00:14:26,684 So, what do you want to do? 290 00:14:26,752 --> 00:14:29,887 I want to sit here and think of all the reasons why life sucks. 291 00:14:29,956 --> 00:14:31,356 Hey, cool. 292 00:14:34,994 --> 00:14:36,461 (wilson chanting) 293 00:14:37,163 --> 00:14:38,463 Hey, wilson. 294 00:14:42,468 --> 00:14:44,135 Hey, wilson. 295 00:14:44,203 --> 00:14:46,738 Oh. I'm sorry, brad. I was just meditating. 296 00:14:46,806 --> 00:14:48,806 Aren't you cold out here? 297 00:14:48,641 --> 00:14:50,742 Well, when I chant "om mani pa-toe-me foom" 298 00:14:50,810 --> 00:14:52,543 I'm trying to commune with nature. 299 00:14:52,611 --> 00:14:56,948 But now that you mention it, I am freezing my pa-toe-mes off. 300 00:14:57,016 --> 00:15:02,086 Yeah. Living next to my dad, you're lucky your pa-toe-mes are still in one piece. 301 00:15:02,154 --> 00:15:05,590 Well, obviously you're still upset with him about your injury. 302 00:15:05,658 --> 00:15:08,125 Shouldn't you be inside, resting that knee? 303 00:15:08,193 --> 00:15:09,494 Yeah. But if it wasn't for my dad, 304 00:15:09,561 --> 00:15:11,862 I wouldn't have to rest it at all. 305 00:15:11,930 --> 00:15:14,399 You know, brad, you remind me of an iban tribesman. 306 00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:18,136 Yeah. I get that all the time. 307 00:15:18,170 --> 00:15:19,870 You see, the iban live in borneo. 308 00:15:19,938 --> 00:15:22,974 And they believe that evil spirits are the cause of all their misfortunes. 309 00:15:23,041 --> 00:15:27,312 So, every night they dance and they put on these strange wooden masks 310 00:15:27,379 --> 00:15:30,215 To drive the evil spirits away. 311 00:15:30,283 --> 00:15:32,417 So, what does that have to do with me? 312 00:15:32,485 --> 00:15:34,152 Well, like the iban, we'd all like to believe 313 00:15:34,219 --> 00:15:36,921 That outside forces are the cause of all of our problems. 314 00:15:36,989 --> 00:15:38,690 It gives rationality to our universe. 315 00:15:38,758 --> 00:15:43,227 But the truth is, sometimes accidents just happen. 316 00:15:43,295 --> 00:15:45,530 So, you're saying that it's not my dad's fault that I tripped. 317 00:15:45,598 --> 00:15:47,332 And it was more or less bad luck? 318 00:15:47,399 --> 00:15:48,834 Yeah, I suppose so. 319 00:15:48,901 --> 00:15:51,402 I think the thing to do is just hope for the best 320 00:15:51,471 --> 00:15:54,339 And be open to exploring new paths. 321 00:15:54,406 --> 00:15:56,308 You know, the british author, j.M. Barrie said, 322 00:15:56,375 --> 00:16:01,145 "a man's life is like a diary in which he means to write one story, 323 00:16:01,214 --> 00:16:04,048 "but ends up writing another." 324 00:16:04,116 --> 00:16:07,085 Yeah, I know. But, wilson, I mean, soccer's always been part of my life. 325 00:16:07,153 --> 00:16:08,786 You know, it's, like, who I am. 326 00:16:08,855 --> 00:16:12,257 You go to my school, you can ask anybody. I'm brad the soccer dude. 327 00:16:12,324 --> 00:16:16,094 But you can also be brad the nuclear-physicist dude. 328 00:16:16,161 --> 00:16:18,630 Or brad the animal-husbandry dude. 329 00:16:20,499 --> 00:16:23,368 Yeah. But I don't know anything about physics. 330 00:16:23,435 --> 00:16:26,904 And I really don't want to know what it's like to be an animal's husband. 331 00:16:30,743 --> 00:16:32,610 You know, brad, all I'm saying is, 332 00:16:32,678 --> 00:16:36,281 There's a whole world out there for you to explore. 333 00:16:36,348 --> 00:16:38,716 So, there's gonna be a lot of opportunities for me? 334 00:16:38,784 --> 00:16:41,953 Yes, exactly. That's the spirit. 335 00:16:42,021 --> 00:16:44,022 Let me ask you something. Aside from soccer, 336 00:16:44,089 --> 00:16:47,058 Have you thought about what you want to focus on in college? 337 00:16:47,126 --> 00:16:49,093 Oh, yeah. I think about it all the time. 338 00:16:49,161 --> 00:16:50,328 Besides girls? 339 00:16:52,064 --> 00:16:53,198 Then, no. 340 00:16:54,833 --> 00:16:57,769 Well, that was quite a night for you. 341 00:16:57,836 --> 00:16:58,904 Yup. 342 00:17:04,911 --> 00:17:07,478 Saginaw cheese's car guy of the year 343 00:17:07,546 --> 00:17:09,847 For an unprecedented three years running. 344 00:17:09,916 --> 00:17:12,150 And I just can't seem to enjoy it. 345 00:17:12,218 --> 00:17:15,120 Oh, come on, tim. They immortalized you in gouda. 346 00:17:16,622 --> 00:17:19,257 Yeah, but with brad so mad at me, this trophy of cheese 347 00:17:19,324 --> 00:17:21,025 Seems almost meaningless. 348 00:17:23,262 --> 00:17:24,930 Hey, mom. Hey. 349 00:17:26,198 --> 00:17:27,932 Hey, dad. 350 00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:30,835 So, you decided to go to the party after all? 351 00:17:30,902 --> 00:17:32,670 Yeah. What smells so good? 352 00:17:32,738 --> 00:17:33,939 My head. 353 00:17:36,075 --> 00:17:37,708 Cool. How'd the banquet go? It was great. 354 00:17:37,776 --> 00:17:39,311 Three years running, I'm the champ. 355 00:17:39,378 --> 00:17:41,145 The lifetime a-cheese-ment award, everything. 356 00:17:41,214 --> 00:17:45,083 I met mrs. Cheese, the muenster twins, everybody was there. 357 00:17:45,150 --> 00:17:47,118 You sound like you're in a better mood. 358 00:17:47,086 --> 00:17:49,387 Yeah. I just realized I was blaming you 359 00:17:49,455 --> 00:17:52,089 Because I was seeking rationality in my universe. 360 00:17:55,461 --> 00:17:57,262 That's some pretty heavy thinking. 361 00:17:57,330 --> 00:17:59,131 Well, you know me. I'm very deep. 362 00:18:00,399 --> 00:18:01,699 You been talking to wilson? 363 00:18:01,767 --> 00:18:03,935 Yeah, that, too. 364 00:18:04,003 --> 00:18:06,471 Well, I'm glad you're not mad at your dad anymore. 365 00:18:06,539 --> 00:18:09,608 Yeah. I was just mad at the situation. 366 00:18:09,675 --> 00:18:11,510 I mean, it's really nobody's fault. 367 00:18:11,577 --> 00:18:13,545 That shows a lot of maturity, the way you're working through this. 368 00:18:13,512 --> 00:18:16,280 You know, I really should put your father's head in the refrigerator. 369 00:18:18,183 --> 00:18:20,385 I'm just sorry you got to go through any of this, brad. 370 00:18:20,453 --> 00:18:22,286 Yeah. Me, too. 371 00:18:22,355 --> 00:18:25,590 But I just have to use this injury as an opportunity to think about my future. 372 00:18:25,657 --> 00:18:27,625 Your future. You got a lot of options! 373 00:18:27,693 --> 00:18:30,495 I know. But then why do I feel sick to my stomach? 374 00:18:30,562 --> 00:18:31,596 Well, because it's kind of scary, 375 00:18:31,664 --> 00:18:33,330 Thinking of your life going in an opposite direction 376 00:18:33,398 --> 00:18:34,933 Than it was before this, you know? 377 00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:37,969 Yeah, I never thought I'd have to think about this now. 378 00:18:38,037 --> 00:18:40,771 I figured I'd be playing soccer well into my 60s. 379 00:18:40,806 --> 00:18:44,109 Yeah. The only soccer player out there in a walker. 380 00:18:44,176 --> 00:18:46,744 I'll get it. Hold on, I'll get it. 381 00:18:54,053 --> 00:18:55,954 It's too big. 382 00:18:56,022 --> 00:18:59,624 You guys are just gonna have to eat through the cranium tonight. 383 00:19:00,959 --> 00:19:03,227 Good night, sweetie. Good night. 384 00:19:03,295 --> 00:19:04,629 I'll be right up. 385 00:19:06,064 --> 00:19:07,899 What were we talking about? 386 00:19:07,966 --> 00:19:10,402 We were talking about what I want to do with my life. 387 00:19:10,469 --> 00:19:11,936 Well, you're 17 years old. 388 00:19:12,004 --> 00:19:13,638 I don't think we gotta figure that out right now, do we? 389 00:19:13,706 --> 00:19:14,839 Yeah. Well, that's easy for you to say. 390 00:19:14,907 --> 00:19:16,340 You knew what you were gonna do. 391 00:19:16,409 --> 00:19:18,009 No, I didn't. 392 00:19:18,076 --> 00:19:19,944 I figured I was gonna be a binford salesman the rest of my life. 393 00:19:20,012 --> 00:19:22,580 I never figured I'd be the head guy on a tool show. 394 00:19:22,648 --> 00:19:24,282 Or would that be the big cheese? 395 00:19:26,117 --> 00:19:27,752 Or the head cheese. 396 00:19:30,956 --> 00:19:33,491 Look, I don't know what your future's gonna bring and neither do you. 397 00:19:33,559 --> 00:19:35,360 I just know that if you work hard like you do at soccer, 398 00:19:35,428 --> 00:19:37,128 You can be good at anything, brad. 399 00:19:37,729 --> 00:19:39,164 Yeah, I hope so. 400 00:19:39,231 --> 00:19:40,798 Listen, I'm sorry I was such a jerk. 401 00:19:40,866 --> 00:19:42,300 It's okay, it's okay. 402 00:19:42,368 --> 00:19:43,401 I'm hungry. You? 403 00:19:43,469 --> 00:19:44,469 Yeah, I'm starving. 404 00:19:44,537 --> 00:19:47,305 Hey, how about... I don't know... 405 00:19:47,373 --> 00:19:48,606 Macaroni and cheeks? 406 00:19:50,342 --> 00:19:52,744 How about some nose and crackers? 407 00:19:52,711 --> 00:19:53,811 I like it. 408 00:19:53,879 --> 00:19:55,547 I'll get a knife, I'll cut the cheese. 409 00:20:01,286 --> 00:20:02,787 Slowly, honey. 410 00:20:05,357 --> 00:20:07,224 How'd the physical therapy go? 411 00:20:07,293 --> 00:20:08,493 It went great. 412 00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:10,528 They said I'm healing really fast from surgery. 413 00:20:10,596 --> 00:20:12,296 And they said I have a good chance of playing soccer again. 414 00:20:12,364 --> 00:20:14,165 All right! Where's your dad? 415 00:20:14,233 --> 00:20:16,034 Oh, he's out in the backyard. 416 00:20:16,102 --> 00:20:17,836 I think he's got a little surprise for you. 417 00:20:18,504 --> 00:20:19,671 No. 418 00:20:21,340 --> 00:20:22,774 (engine whirring) 419 00:20:29,481 --> 00:20:31,382 Check it out. 420 00:20:31,450 --> 00:20:34,552 No, it's binford's new experimental all-terrain chair. 421 00:20:34,620 --> 00:20:38,790 Now you can heal at 40 miles an hour. 422 00:20:38,857 --> 00:20:40,558 So you expect me to ride this thing around town. 423 00:20:40,626 --> 00:20:43,895 It's great. Two-cylinder, 46 horsepower. 424 00:20:43,963 --> 00:20:46,064 This thing is wonderful. All-wheel drive. 425 00:20:48,034 --> 00:20:51,402 After this, we could go down to the rest home and do some drag racing. 426 00:20:51,469 --> 00:20:53,504 Old man brady's been talking trash again. 427 00:20:53,572 --> 00:20:55,339 Steering is pretty intense. 428 00:20:55,407 --> 00:20:58,075 You just point it where you want to go. 429 00:21:01,346 --> 00:21:02,914 (crashing) 430 00:21:16,695 --> 00:21:17,962 Hey, brad, you want us to take... 431 00:21:18,030 --> 00:21:19,296 You want us to take you over to... 432 00:21:22,834 --> 00:21:25,036 Hey, brad, you want us to take... 433 00:21:26,906 --> 00:21:28,773 Hey, brad. You want us to... 434 00:21:33,578 --> 00:21:35,412 Do you want us to drop you by... 435 00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:37,082 It's gonna come out like that, see? 436 00:21:37,149 --> 00:21:40,151 Hey, brad. Do you want us to drop you by that jim's soccer party? 437 00:21:41,687 --> 00:21:43,420 Huh? You'd like to... 438 00:21:43,555 --> 00:21:45,356 I'll get a knife, I'll cut the cheese. 439 00:21:48,894 --> 00:21:50,194 I just did.