1
00:00:02,556 --> 00:00:04,190
Sorry about that, guy.

2
00:00:04,258 --> 00:00:07,660
Try some merthiolate
or mercurochrome.
It'll help out.

3
00:00:09,663 --> 00:00:11,964
Welcome back to our
<i>tool time</i> salute...

4
00:00:12,032 --> 00:00:13,299
(loud belch)

5
00:00:14,634 --> 00:00:16,202
To men!
To men!

6
00:00:16,270 --> 00:00:18,371
Continuing our show
about everything
that men like,

7
00:00:18,439 --> 00:00:20,306
We've got a display
you're gonna love.

8
00:00:20,374 --> 00:00:23,509
And our guests
are the authors
of the mucho macho book...

9
00:00:23,577 --> 00:00:25,744
<i>The big damn book</i>
<i>of sheer manliness!</i>

10
00:00:25,812 --> 00:00:27,179
Heidi?

11
00:00:32,118 --> 00:00:36,255
Nice pelt.
Okay, let's bring out
our authors of the book,

12
00:00:36,323 --> 00:00:39,258
Brant and todd,
the von hoffman brothers.

13
00:00:39,325 --> 00:00:42,861
Todd. How're you doing?
Great to have you
on the show.

14
00:00:42,929 --> 00:00:45,631
Nice to meet you guys.

15
00:00:45,698 --> 00:00:46,965
I'm todd.

16
00:00:47,033 --> 00:00:48,167
I'm tim.
I'm heidi.

17
00:00:48,235 --> 00:00:50,636
I'm single.
I'm not surprised.

18
00:00:54,441 --> 00:00:55,674
Quick testosterone quiz.

19
00:00:55,742 --> 00:00:57,309
Man's best friend...
Uh...

20
00:00:57,211 --> 00:00:58,677
His mother.

21
00:01:01,314 --> 00:01:03,649
It's his dog,
you big nellie.

22
00:01:03,717 --> 00:01:07,186
Harsh words coming from
a military man
in tasseled loafers.

23
00:01:09,089 --> 00:01:12,959
Yeah, you big...
Boss.

24
00:01:13,026 --> 00:01:14,993
Favorite guy movie.
<i>True grit? Spartacus?</i>

25
00:01:15,061 --> 00:01:17,196
Oh, yeah...
<i>My fair lady.</i>

26
00:01:18,632 --> 00:01:20,065
<i>My fair lady?</i>
<i>Yes.</i>

27
00:01:20,134 --> 00:01:22,235
What's wrong with
<i>my fair lady?</i>
<i>It's a great movie.</i>

28
00:01:22,302 --> 00:01:25,070
(together) "why can't a woman
be more like a man?"

29
00:01:25,139 --> 00:01:28,073
Because surgery's
too expensive.

30
00:01:28,142 --> 00:01:30,443
Come on. Let's get to
the meat and potatoes
of this show.

31
00:01:30,511 --> 00:01:32,845
What's the manliest meal
a man can fix?

32
00:01:32,912 --> 00:01:35,481
Both: Chili.
You're darn tooting. Heidi?

33
00:01:36,350 --> 00:01:38,884
And speaking of
tooting...

34
00:01:38,952 --> 00:01:41,020
Today we're gonna
show you how to
make our special

35
00:01:41,087 --> 00:01:43,188
Three-alarm
colon cleaner.

36
00:01:44,958 --> 00:01:47,359
All right, guys.
What do we do first?

37
00:01:47,427 --> 00:01:50,396
Well, first we've
already, uh, browned up
a couple of pounds of meat.

38
00:01:50,463 --> 00:01:51,731
Now, we know
you like beef.

39
00:01:51,865 --> 00:01:54,233
(grunting)
I love beef.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.

40
00:01:54,301 --> 00:01:57,669
Well, we prefer rattlesnake.
But today we're going
with al's favorite...

41
00:01:57,871 --> 00:01:59,037
Lean stewing turkey.

42
00:01:59,105 --> 00:02:00,706
That's right.

43
00:02:00,774 --> 00:02:01,907
Now, while
that's simmering,
you want to add

44
00:02:01,975 --> 00:02:03,709
Two cans of chopped,
peeled tomatoes

45
00:02:03,777 --> 00:02:05,778
And a bottle of
your favorite brew.

46
00:02:05,846 --> 00:02:07,379
And, of course,
there's always
a debate about

47
00:02:07,447 --> 00:02:09,348
Whether or not beans
should be added.

48
00:02:09,415 --> 00:02:13,718
Actually,
the debate begins two hours
after you've added the beans.

49
00:02:13,786 --> 00:02:15,454
That's right.
What the hell?
We're men, right?

50
00:02:15,521 --> 00:02:16,822
Tim: Go for it, baby.

51
00:02:16,890 --> 00:02:18,891
Al: Next you want to
put in your chili mix.

52
00:02:18,958 --> 00:02:22,094
Right. And a manly
jalapeno pepper.

53
00:02:22,162 --> 00:02:24,930
Now, if there's
women-folk partaking,
you might want to go easy.

54
00:02:24,998 --> 00:02:26,298
Oh, please!

55
00:02:27,767 --> 00:02:29,901
Now, you want to let this
stew for about a day.

56
00:02:30,137 --> 00:02:31,803
But we have a pot here
all ready for tasting.

57
00:02:31,871 --> 00:02:33,138
All right, heidi.
That's great.

58
00:02:33,206 --> 00:02:34,373
Oh, yeah.

59
00:02:34,441 --> 00:02:37,876
Okay.
Oh, clumsy me.

60
00:02:39,613 --> 00:02:42,247
Okay, here you go, boys.

61
00:02:42,315 --> 00:02:44,350
Thank you.

62
00:02:44,418 --> 00:02:45,918
Oh, I'm sorry... "men."

63
00:02:46,119 --> 00:02:49,855
Al! Al, not with a spoon.
Always eat three-alarm chili
with a saltine.

64
00:02:49,922 --> 00:02:51,556
Absolutely!
That's right.

65
00:02:52,192 --> 00:02:53,325
Mmm.

66
00:02:53,393 --> 00:02:55,127
Mmm.

67
00:02:55,194 --> 00:02:58,597
I upped it to eight-alarm
just to weed out
the men from the boys.

68
00:04:01,862 --> 00:04:05,564
Let me guess.
You're reading
the footnotes?

69
00:04:05,632 --> 00:04:08,500
Yeah, that's very funny.
I'm doing physical
therapy for soccer.

70
00:04:08,568 --> 00:04:10,869
I gotta put
some weight
on my knees.

71
00:04:10,937 --> 00:04:13,272
Have you tried
standing up?

72
00:04:13,339 --> 00:04:15,941
Here, take that.
All right.

73
00:04:16,009 --> 00:04:18,611
Come on, dad.
Lean on me.

74
00:04:18,678 --> 00:04:19,912
You ready for this?
Oh, yes.

75
00:04:19,979 --> 00:04:22,848
All right, buddy.
Okay, go.

76
00:04:22,916 --> 00:04:23,916
(grunts)

77
00:04:25,786 --> 00:04:27,052
(breathing loudly)

78
00:04:31,424 --> 00:04:33,559
What do they call that?
Jerk du soleil?

79
00:04:36,930 --> 00:04:38,697
I tell you, this kid's
getting strong.

80
00:04:38,765 --> 00:04:40,465
Pretty soon he'll
be able to lift you.

81
00:04:40,533 --> 00:04:42,101
Very funny.
Ha! Ha!

82
00:04:42,169 --> 00:04:44,636
All right. I gotta go
stretch my quads.

83
00:04:44,704 --> 00:04:45,938
Oh. Hmm.

84
00:04:46,006 --> 00:04:47,706
So, how was your day, baby?

85
00:04:47,774 --> 00:04:52,144
Well, I handed in my thesis
to dr. Hanover.

86
00:04:52,212 --> 00:04:54,379
Congratulations!
You must feel fantastic!

87
00:04:54,447 --> 00:04:56,348
No. What?
Are you kidding?

88
00:04:56,416 --> 00:04:58,317
I have to defend my paper now
in front of this whole
thesis committee.

89
00:04:58,384 --> 00:04:59,585
And maybe I won't
know the material.

90
00:04:59,652 --> 00:05:01,353
Maybe I won't be able
to answer their questions.

91
00:05:01,421 --> 00:05:03,989
Maybe my whole career will go
into a downward spiral.

92
00:05:04,057 --> 00:05:06,759
Maybe you should
see a therapist.

93
00:05:06,827 --> 00:05:09,461
Oh, that's right.
You are one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

94
00:05:09,529 --> 00:05:11,097
Say hello.

95
00:05:11,164 --> 00:05:15,401
Oh, mark! When are you
gonna stop this family
documentary thing?

96
00:05:15,468 --> 00:05:17,303
I'm just getting
some last-minute shots.

97
00:05:17,370 --> 00:05:20,172
The class is
showing our films
a week from Friday.

98
00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:24,777
Great! Now I can make a fool
out of myself in front of
a whole classroom.

99
00:05:24,845 --> 00:05:26,111
(door bell rings)
oh, stop. Stop.

100
00:05:26,179 --> 00:05:27,312
I got it.

101
00:05:31,184 --> 00:05:33,718
Oh, hi, gregory.
Come on in!
Hi, mark.

102
00:05:33,786 --> 00:05:35,521
What's going on?

103
00:05:35,588 --> 00:05:37,389
Mark, I'm having
an anxiety attack
about my film.

104
00:05:37,457 --> 00:05:42,261
It's like antonio banderas
is doing the lambada
on my liver.

105
00:05:43,329 --> 00:05:45,664
I'll see what
I can do about it.

106
00:05:47,367 --> 00:05:50,902
Mom, dad, this is gregory.
He's in my film class.

107
00:05:50,970 --> 00:05:53,205
Hi.
Hello, gregory.
Tim taylor.

108
00:05:53,273 --> 00:05:56,575
I'd, uh, shake your hands,
but human contact
makes me queasy.

109
00:05:59,613 --> 00:06:03,048
How do you feel about
some killer chili?
You want to stay for dinner?

110
00:06:03,116 --> 00:06:04,383
Sorry.

111
00:06:04,451 --> 00:06:06,285
I can't masticate
in front of strangers.

112
00:06:08,889 --> 00:06:10,155
Who can?

113
00:06:14,394 --> 00:06:16,061
I can't believe
I have to waste
my Friday night

114
00:06:16,129 --> 00:06:17,763
Watching your stupid video.

115
00:06:17,830 --> 00:06:21,500
It's payback for having to
watch you kick your
stupid soccer ball.

116
00:06:21,567 --> 00:06:24,336
Guys, this is what family's
all about, you know?

117
00:06:24,404 --> 00:06:26,305
Doing stuff together
that you hate.

118
00:06:29,209 --> 00:06:32,511
Oh, my gosh!
That's dr. Hanover.

119
00:06:32,578 --> 00:06:34,113
(laughs)

120
00:06:34,180 --> 00:06:36,148
Call him
dr. Comb-over.

121
00:06:36,216 --> 00:06:38,984
(shushing)
that was a good one.

122
00:06:39,052 --> 00:06:40,585
This guy is head
of the psych department.

123
00:06:40,653 --> 00:06:43,155
I have to defend
my thesis to him
tomorrow.

124
00:06:43,223 --> 00:06:46,125
Are you sure
he shouldn't be defending
his haircut to you?

125
00:06:46,192 --> 00:06:47,159
(shushing)

126
00:06:47,227 --> 00:06:48,727
Good one.

127
00:06:48,795 --> 00:06:50,596
Hello, jill.

128
00:06:50,663 --> 00:06:53,932
Oh, hi, dr. Hanover.
What are you
doing here tonight?

129
00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:56,401
Well, I have a child
in the class.
This is emily.

130
00:06:56,469 --> 00:06:58,804
Oh, hi.
It's nice to meet you.
This is my husband tim.

131
00:06:58,872 --> 00:07:00,238
Tim.
And one of my sons, brad.

132
00:07:00,306 --> 00:07:02,107
Brad.

133
00:07:02,174 --> 00:07:04,376
Our film student's over there
talking to that boy
in the corner.

134
00:07:04,443 --> 00:07:08,113
Yeah, that's poor
gregory winston.

135
00:07:08,180 --> 00:07:10,782
You know, talk about
a psychological case study.

136
00:07:10,850 --> 00:07:12,417
I'd really like to
meet his parents.

137
00:07:12,485 --> 00:07:14,853
Well, you'll have to
settle for the father.

138
00:07:14,921 --> 00:07:16,454
How do you do?

139
00:07:18,725 --> 00:07:20,092
He's my stepson.

140
00:07:20,159 --> 00:07:22,160
I'm well aware that
gregory has issues.

141
00:07:22,228 --> 00:07:26,899
But in the future, you
might not want to be so quick
to share your diagnoses.

142
00:07:26,967 --> 00:07:29,468
I'll see you
tomorrow morning,
9:00 a.M. Sharp.

143
00:07:29,535 --> 00:07:30,836
(sniggering)

144
00:07:34,140 --> 00:07:35,440
Good one.

145
00:07:37,376 --> 00:07:39,778
Attention, everyone.
Find yourselves a seat.

146
00:07:40,946 --> 00:07:43,582
Our young directors
have all made

147
00:07:43,650 --> 00:07:47,319
Gritty,
realistic documentaries
about their families.

148
00:07:47,387 --> 00:07:51,089
And it's my belief
that any one of these
budding auteurs

149
00:07:51,157 --> 00:07:55,594
Could grow up to direct
the next  <i>rescue 911.</i>

150
00:07:55,662 --> 00:07:58,330
Mark, would you like to
man the video deck?

151
00:07:58,398 --> 00:08:00,666
Damian, the lights.

152
00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:06,805
<i>To say that I'm</i>
<i>the black sheep of my family</i>
<i>would be an understatement.</i>

153
00:08:06,872 --> 00:08:10,875
I'm hoping to move up to
black sheep. My mother's
a rhodes scholar,

154
00:08:10,944 --> 00:08:14,279
My father's
a doctor of psychology.
My biggest accomplishment is

155
00:08:14,347 --> 00:08:16,315
That I flossed this morning.

156
00:08:16,382 --> 00:08:18,984
Gregory, stop that taping
and get over here
and eat your chicken!

157
00:08:19,052 --> 00:08:20,485
Yes, father.

158
00:08:23,222 --> 00:08:25,057
Checkmate again, son.

159
00:08:28,027 --> 00:08:31,330
Gregory: There's nothing
I enjoy more than playing
chess with my father.

160
00:08:31,397 --> 00:08:34,433
Except for maybe
a cerebral hemorrhage?

161
00:08:39,806 --> 00:08:43,309
Our last film is from
the very gifted mark taylor.

162
00:08:45,545 --> 00:08:47,212
Tim?
Wake up! Tim!

163
00:08:49,282 --> 00:08:50,916
We'll be right back
after these messages
from binford!

164
00:08:50,983 --> 00:08:51,983
(shushing)

165
00:09:04,230 --> 00:09:08,133
<i>Mark: Meet my family.</i>
<i>On the surface,</i>
<i>we seem normal.</i>

166
00:09:08,201 --> 00:09:11,069
<i>But things are not always</i>
<i>what they seem.</i>

167
00:09:29,322 --> 00:09:31,923
Brad, that's disgusting!

168
00:09:31,991 --> 00:09:34,926
Wait till you see
what I did with the spoon.

169
00:09:45,071 --> 00:09:47,272
<i>Hey, mom.</i>
<i>How was your day?</i>

170
00:09:47,339 --> 00:09:49,741
<i>You really want to know</i>
<i>how my day was?</i>

171
00:09:49,809 --> 00:09:51,209
<i>Not really.</i>

172
00:09:52,211 --> 00:09:53,245
Uh-oh.

173
00:09:53,312 --> 00:09:54,646
What?

174
00:09:54,713 --> 00:09:57,382
<i>Well, it was going great</i>
<i>until I had this</i>

175
00:09:57,449 --> 00:10:01,320
<i>Awful conference</i>
<i>with this horribly</i>
<i>arrogant professor of mine.</i>

176
00:10:03,356 --> 00:10:05,557
Please don't mention his name!
Please don't mention his name!

177
00:10:05,625 --> 00:10:06,858
You didn't, you didn't,
you didn't.

178
00:10:06,926 --> 00:10:08,193
<i>Dr. Hanover.</i>

179
00:10:08,261 --> 00:10:09,327
You did!

180
00:10:12,031 --> 00:10:13,632
<i>He's a pompous jackass,</i>
<i>you know?</i>

181
00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:15,367
<i>He's smug, he's didactic.</i>

182
00:10:15,435 --> 00:10:18,437
<i>And what is the deal</i>
<i>with men, you know,</i>
<i>and their comb-overs?</i>

183
00:10:18,505 --> 00:10:21,373
<i>I mean, this one</i>
<i>would start at his neck</i>
<i>and stretch across.</i>

184
00:10:21,441 --> 00:10:23,708
<i>Hideous thing.</i>

185
00:10:27,012 --> 00:10:28,313
Good one.

186
00:10:32,185 --> 00:10:35,753
<i>And those are</i>
<i>the taylors. If they are</i>
<i>the typical american family,</i>

187
00:10:35,821 --> 00:10:37,222
<i>This country's in trouble.</i>

188
00:10:45,932 --> 00:10:49,801
I can't look.
Check out dr. Hanover.
See if he's angry.

189
00:10:49,869 --> 00:10:51,769
Don't make it obvious.

190
00:10:55,607 --> 00:10:57,575
He's not angry.

191
00:10:57,643 --> 00:10:59,010
He's not?
He's gone.

192
00:11:03,149 --> 00:11:05,783
Mom, are you ever gonna
get off the phone?
I've gotta make some calls.

193
00:11:05,852 --> 00:11:07,286
Use your phone.
I can't.

194
00:11:07,353 --> 00:11:10,455
I'm downloading
some hot pictures
from denmark

195
00:11:12,291 --> 00:11:13,625
Of danishes.

196
00:11:15,461 --> 00:11:18,563
Brad, I've been trying
to apologize to dr. Hanover
for two hours. It's busy.

197
00:11:18,631 --> 00:11:20,198
I gotta keep trying.

198
00:11:21,701 --> 00:11:24,102
Hey, mom! Did you ever get
a hold of your professor?

199
00:11:24,169 --> 00:11:27,305
No. And, you know,
none of this would've
happened if you hadn't

200
00:11:27,373 --> 00:11:28,540
Taped me
without my knowledge.

201
00:11:28,608 --> 00:11:30,108
Don't you know
that's illegal?

202
00:11:30,175 --> 00:11:32,911
It would be,
except you said
I could tape you.

203
00:11:32,978 --> 00:11:35,514
I have it on tape.

204
00:11:35,581 --> 00:11:39,150
I would never have approved
of this if I'd known that
you were gonna be

205
00:11:39,218 --> 00:11:42,387
So irresponsible about
what you showed people!

206
00:11:42,455 --> 00:11:44,489
You're right.
I should have
checked with you.

207
00:11:44,557 --> 00:11:46,024
I'm really sorry.

208
00:11:46,091 --> 00:11:47,692
Mom, you don't even know
if he saw mark's video.

209
00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:49,394
He could've just left
after gregory's.

210
00:11:49,462 --> 00:11:51,663
Well, I can't take
the chance of walking
into that thesis committee

211
00:11:51,731 --> 00:11:53,765
Without knowing for sure.

212
00:11:55,935 --> 00:11:57,436
Oh, good!
It's ringing.

213
00:12:00,506 --> 00:12:02,206
Hello, gregory?
<i>Gregory: Yeah.</i>

214
00:12:02,274 --> 00:12:04,543
Hi, this is mrs. Taylor,
mark's mom.

215
00:12:05,377 --> 00:12:06,611
Great film.

216
00:12:06,679 --> 00:12:07,879
Are you kidding?

217
00:12:07,947 --> 00:12:10,182
I was so traumatized by
the public viewing that

218
00:12:10,249 --> 00:12:13,151
I just spent two hours
on the phone
with an army recruiter.

219
00:12:14,854 --> 00:12:19,291
Interesting. Uh,
gregory, is your father
there? I need to talk to him.

220
00:12:19,359 --> 00:12:23,561
Uh, he's upstairs asleep.
I think my film sent him
into a catatonic state.

221
00:12:23,629 --> 00:12:26,497
And I don't mean arizona.

222
00:12:26,565 --> 00:12:29,334
Look, gregory,
did you and your father
stay and watch mark's film?

223
00:12:29,401 --> 00:12:30,435
<i>Uh-huh.</i>

224
00:12:30,503 --> 00:12:32,237
Oh, no.

225
00:12:32,304 --> 00:12:35,173
I feel so terrible.
I really wanted to
apologize to him.

226
00:12:35,241 --> 00:12:38,443
Oh, for calling him
a pompous jackass?

227
00:12:38,510 --> 00:12:41,546
Yeah. He was paged
a couple of times so I'm
not sure if he saw that part.

228
00:12:41,614 --> 00:12:43,247
But, uh, I enjoyed it.

229
00:12:48,420 --> 00:12:49,988
I'm sorry I'm late.
It's okay.

230
00:12:50,055 --> 00:12:52,490
Dr. Hanover isn't
here yet anyway.

231
00:12:52,458 --> 00:12:54,359
Well, he's a very busy man.

232
00:12:54,427 --> 00:12:57,429
Maybe we should just
whip through my thesis
without him.

233
00:12:59,732 --> 00:13:00,732
(clears throat)

234
00:13:05,571 --> 00:13:08,506
What are you writing?
Never mind. Ah.

235
00:13:08,574 --> 00:13:09,908
Here's dr. Hanover now.

236
00:13:09,976 --> 00:13:11,676
Hello, jill.

237
00:13:19,752 --> 00:13:21,286
Well, speaking
for the committee,
we feel that

238
00:13:21,354 --> 00:13:24,055
Your thesis is
basically quite solid.

239
00:13:24,123 --> 00:13:25,624
Oh, good.

240
00:13:25,691 --> 00:13:29,227
But we felt there were
a few things that were
just a hair off.

241
00:13:36,235 --> 00:13:38,503
A hair off?

242
00:13:38,571 --> 00:13:40,805
Dr. Miller, would you
like to elaborate?

243
00:13:40,873 --> 00:13:42,106
Well, I...

244
00:13:42,174 --> 00:13:43,975
Was it the conclusion?
Was it too thin?

245
00:13:44,043 --> 00:13:45,344
(jill stammering)

246
00:13:46,679 --> 00:13:50,848
Sparse?
I mean, shallow?

247
00:13:50,916 --> 00:13:54,118
I wasn't ready to talk about
the conclusion just yet.

248
00:13:54,186 --> 00:13:56,655
Oh, sorry, I jumped ahead...
I mean forward.

249
00:13:56,723 --> 00:13:58,723
Uh...

250
00:13:58,791 --> 00:14:02,260
On page 48, you say that
feminism has complicated
the traditional

251
00:14:02,328 --> 00:14:05,596
Psychological dynamic
between fathers and sons.

252
00:14:05,664 --> 00:14:06,965
Can you elaborate on that?

253
00:14:07,032 --> 00:14:11,936
Yes, I can. Um,
as I stated on page 49,

254
00:14:12,004 --> 00:14:15,774
"fathers have to
teach their sons
that women and men are equal,

255
00:14:15,841 --> 00:14:18,843
"even though they may not
have been raised
with that belief."

256
00:14:18,911 --> 00:14:20,078
Point well taken.

257
00:14:20,146 --> 00:14:21,680
Thank you, dr. Comb-over...
Hanover!

258
00:14:29,855 --> 00:14:32,024
Now, do you think you've
thoroughly addressed how

259
00:14:32,091 --> 00:14:35,260
The relationship has changed
between mothers and sons?

260
00:14:35,328 --> 00:14:36,527
Well, the thesis is called

261
00:14:36,595 --> 00:14:40,232
"the father-son dynamic
in the post-feminist era."

262
00:14:40,299 --> 00:14:43,267
I know what
the thesis is called.
I came up with the title.

263
00:14:43,336 --> 00:14:45,403
Wonderful title.
Yeah.

264
00:14:45,471 --> 00:14:50,174
Now, is it possible
that you've treated
the mother-son relationship

265
00:14:50,242 --> 00:14:52,644
In a rather superficial way?

266
00:14:52,712 --> 00:14:54,979
Superficial?

267
00:14:55,047 --> 00:14:59,184
No. I think that
I fully addressed that
in pages 38 to 47.

268
00:14:59,252 --> 00:15:03,622
Well,
I thought it was more fully
addressed in the first draft.

269
00:15:03,422 --> 00:15:07,525
You shaved off
a little bit too much.

270
00:15:07,593 --> 00:15:09,227
Jill, you've made some pretty
provocative statements.

271
00:15:09,294 --> 00:15:11,062
The question is,
can you defend them?

272
00:15:11,130 --> 00:15:12,730
Well, I don't know. I...

273
00:15:12,798 --> 00:15:15,566
Well, if you don't know,
how are we supposed to know?

274
00:15:18,337 --> 00:15:20,372
How did you like
the typeface?

275
00:15:21,140 --> 00:15:22,874
Helvetica 12 point?

276
00:15:22,942 --> 00:15:24,876
Excellent choice.
I liked it.

277
00:15:24,944 --> 00:15:26,311
Yeah. That's good.

278
00:15:29,449 --> 00:15:30,615
(coughing)

279
00:15:30,683 --> 00:15:33,551
Perfect.
How was your day?

280
00:15:33,619 --> 00:15:36,754
Imagine having your head
squeezed in a vice.

281
00:15:36,822 --> 00:15:38,823
I don't have to imagine.

282
00:15:41,094 --> 00:15:42,794
How was dr. Hanover?

283
00:15:42,862 --> 00:15:44,662
Obviously,
he saw mark's film.

284
00:15:44,730 --> 00:15:45,896
He raked my thesis
over the coals.

285
00:15:45,964 --> 00:15:47,965
Now I have to do
a whole rewrite by Friday.

286
00:15:48,033 --> 00:15:49,767
Honey, the man
is a professional.

287
00:15:49,835 --> 00:15:53,438
I can't believe he'd let
a few personal remarks
get in the way of his job.

288
00:15:53,506 --> 00:15:56,241
Well,
if he wasn't attacking me
because of the insults,

289
00:15:56,308 --> 00:15:58,977
He was attacking me
because he hated my work.

290
00:15:59,045 --> 00:16:02,547
There you go now.
Feel better?

291
00:16:05,418 --> 00:16:07,185
Here you go.

292
00:16:07,253 --> 00:16:11,522
Oh, thanks.
You know, this part just
doesn't seem right there.

293
00:16:11,590 --> 00:16:14,926
"when the mother tries
to instill feminist ideology
in her son,

294
00:16:14,994 --> 00:16:18,997
"and the father presents
a counter philosophy/ethos,

295
00:16:19,065 --> 00:16:22,100
"it can cause confusion
in the adolescent male."

296
00:16:24,971 --> 00:16:26,671
Hmm, sounds good to me.

297
00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:29,574
You understand that?

298
00:16:29,641 --> 00:16:31,742
No. But I'm a confused
adolescent male.

299
00:16:35,914 --> 00:16:37,382
<i>(twittering)</i>

300
00:16:39,185 --> 00:16:40,785
Wilson?

301
00:16:40,853 --> 00:16:44,356
Come to me,
my lovely little
creature of the night.

302
00:16:46,125 --> 00:16:48,159
What? Are you drunk?

303
00:16:48,227 --> 00:16:49,794
Oh.
No, no, no, no, jill.

304
00:16:49,862 --> 00:16:53,031
I was talking to
the chiroptera which
I'm trying to attract with

305
00:16:53,099 --> 00:16:55,500
The sounds on
this tape recorder.

306
00:16:55,567 --> 00:16:56,634
What's that?

307
00:16:56,702 --> 00:16:59,137
Uh, it's a small device
for recording tapes.

308
00:17:00,606 --> 00:17:01,973
No. I mean the other thing.

309
00:17:02,041 --> 00:17:04,509
Oh, the chiroptera.
Well, that's a bat.

310
00:17:04,576 --> 00:17:05,977
I saw one swooping
around here.

311
00:17:06,045 --> 00:17:08,613
I'm trying to get her
to nest in my eaves.

312
00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:12,217
I was just wondering
what you thought
of my thesis.

313
00:17:12,284 --> 00:17:14,019
Oh, yes.
The thesis, yes.

314
00:17:14,086 --> 00:17:16,087
Well, that was
a very interesting rewrite.

315
00:17:16,155 --> 00:17:19,991
I thought your
use of comparative
symbolism had a certain

316
00:17:20,059 --> 00:17:21,859
Textural resonance
that really, uh...

317
00:17:21,927 --> 00:17:23,628
You think it blows.

318
00:17:23,695 --> 00:17:25,563
Like a nor'easter.

319
00:17:25,631 --> 00:17:27,032
(sighs)

320
00:17:27,099 --> 00:17:28,666
You know, to tell you
the truth, jill,

321
00:17:28,734 --> 00:17:30,368
I actually preferred
the original version.

322
00:17:30,436 --> 00:17:31,569
So did I.

323
00:17:31,637 --> 00:17:33,471
But dr. Hanover hated it,
you know?

324
00:17:33,539 --> 00:17:35,673
And I have to make
these changes whether
I believe in them or not.

325
00:17:35,741 --> 00:17:38,976
You know,
your situation reminds me
of  <i>walking naked.</i>

326
00:17:39,045 --> 00:17:40,111
Good night, wilson.

327
00:17:40,179 --> 00:17:41,812
No, no, no,
no, no, no, jill.

328
00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:44,115
<i>Walking naked</i> is a play
I wrote in college.

329
00:17:44,183 --> 00:17:48,420
It's a saga of
an aztec warrior who
finds himself in new jersey.

330
00:17:48,487 --> 00:17:51,056
Oh. Primitive man adapts
to modern society...

331
00:17:51,123 --> 00:17:55,293
No, no, no, no, no.
It's about a guy who
loses his clothes in newark.

332
00:17:55,361 --> 00:17:58,729
And funny stuff
happens to him.

333
00:17:58,797 --> 00:18:01,266
So, now, wait. What does this
have to do with my thesis?

334
00:18:01,333 --> 00:18:05,236
Well, my drama department
wanted me to rewrite my play.

335
00:18:05,304 --> 00:18:07,838
But I was very
passionate about
<i>walking naked.</i>

336
00:18:07,906 --> 00:18:09,240
So, you refused to make
any of the changes?

337
00:18:09,308 --> 00:18:11,209
No, no, no, no.
Quite the opposite.

338
00:18:11,277 --> 00:18:13,144
I caved in, rewrote
the whole play.

339
00:18:13,212 --> 00:18:14,279
It was a big success.

340
00:18:14,346 --> 00:18:17,382
(sniffs) uh-uh.
You must've been thrilled!

341
00:18:17,450 --> 00:18:21,586
No, I felt terrible
because I compromised
the integrity of the play.

342
00:18:21,653 --> 00:18:24,389
So, you think that
I should just stick to
what I wrote originally?

343
00:18:24,457 --> 00:18:27,792
You know, jill,
your name is gonna be
on that thesis forever.

344
00:18:27,859 --> 00:18:31,429
Shouldn't it
represent something
that you truly believe in?

345
00:18:31,497 --> 00:18:34,299
Yes, it should.

346
00:18:34,366 --> 00:18:36,301
You've given me
a lot to think about.
Thank you, wilson.

347
00:18:36,368 --> 00:18:37,402
You're always
so sensible.

348
00:18:37,470 --> 00:18:39,337
(laughing)
well, my pleasure.

349
00:18:39,405 --> 00:18:42,907
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have an old brown bat
to seduce.

350
00:18:50,716 --> 00:18:52,050
Dr. Hanover?

351
00:18:52,118 --> 00:18:54,186
Oh, jill, come on in.

352
00:18:58,858 --> 00:19:02,661
I've, uh, finished
all my revisions.

353
00:19:02,728 --> 00:19:05,396
I look forward to reading it.

354
00:19:05,464 --> 00:19:08,165
Dr. Hanover,
I've tried to incorporate
all of your notes.

355
00:19:08,234 --> 00:19:11,736
But, frankly, I just couldn't
make some of them work.

356
00:19:12,304 --> 00:19:13,438
Pity.

357
00:19:13,505 --> 00:19:14,438
May I?

358
00:19:14,506 --> 00:19:16,708
Oh, please. Yes.

359
00:19:16,776 --> 00:19:21,079
Look, uh, I don't mean
to be disrespectful.

360
00:19:21,146 --> 00:19:25,183
I could only write this
in a way that
makes sense to me.

361
00:19:25,251 --> 00:19:28,319
And I think you
might have been
overly critical of my work.

362
00:19:28,387 --> 00:19:29,587
Why?

363
00:19:29,655 --> 00:19:32,891
Because you called me
a pompous jackass
with a bad comb-over?

364
00:19:34,627 --> 00:19:36,060
I am so, so sorry.

365
00:19:36,128 --> 00:19:38,196
Me, too.

366
00:19:38,263 --> 00:19:39,798
When my wife heard
what you said, she came
after me with an epilady.

367
00:19:39,865 --> 00:19:40,865
(gasps)

368
00:19:45,470 --> 00:19:48,239
Yeah, I understand now
why you were
so tough on my work.

369
00:19:48,307 --> 00:19:51,609
Jill, I wasn't tough on you
because of the personal
remarks you made.

370
00:19:52,978 --> 00:19:54,846
So, you really
didn't like my thesis.

371
00:19:54,914 --> 00:19:56,481
No, no.
I thought it was quite good.

372
00:19:56,549 --> 00:19:58,183
Uh, but during
your oral exam,

373
00:19:58,250 --> 00:20:02,620
It's my job to challenge you,
and your job to
defend your work.

374
00:20:02,688 --> 00:20:05,423
And I didn't exactly rise
to that challenge, did I?

375
00:20:05,491 --> 00:20:08,759
Well, I suspect your defense
would have been better
if you weren't so

376
00:20:08,827 --> 00:20:10,761
Flustered by the situation.

377
00:20:10,829 --> 00:20:15,533
Definitely. When you came
in here with your head shaved,
I was completely...

378
00:20:15,601 --> 00:20:17,068
Wigged out?

379
00:20:20,806 --> 00:20:23,374
Good one!

380
00:20:23,442 --> 00:20:24,942
Just wait till you get out
in private practice

381
00:20:25,010 --> 00:20:27,912
And you have to deal with
what's inside people's heads.

382
00:20:27,980 --> 00:20:29,781
If I can't deal with
male pattern baldness,

383
00:20:29,849 --> 00:20:32,517
What am I gonna do
when I get people
who think they're elvis?

384
00:20:32,585 --> 00:20:37,255
I always make them a fried
peanut-butter-and-banana
sandwich.

385
00:20:37,322 --> 00:20:38,823
Jill, you're gonna be
a fine psychologist.

386
00:20:38,890 --> 00:20:42,961
And I'm sure, in time,
you'll learn not to be thrown
by the unexpected.

387
00:20:43,028 --> 00:20:45,964
Thank you, dr. Hanover.
And, uh, when you've
read my revisions,

388
00:20:46,032 --> 00:20:47,932
I'll be ready
to defend them.

389
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:53,204
Oh, jill, before you go,
can I get your professional
opinion on something?

390
00:20:53,271 --> 00:20:55,039
Oh, certainly. Yes.

391
00:21:00,846 --> 00:21:03,180
What do you think of this?

392
00:21:03,248 --> 00:21:05,984
You can wear it,
but can you defend it?

393
00:21:08,286 --> 00:21:10,287
Touche.

394
00:21:12,825 --> 00:21:14,359
Honey, that's great news.
It really is.

395
00:21:14,427 --> 00:21:16,694
I'll see you at home.
Love you.

396
00:21:16,762 --> 00:21:18,496
Well, good news.

397
00:21:18,564 --> 00:21:21,532
Your dad, the pompous
dr. Hanover,

398
00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:23,468
Loved your mom's thesis.

399
00:21:23,535 --> 00:21:25,002
Really? Cool.

400
00:21:25,070 --> 00:21:26,971
Yeah, sure.
It's cool for her.

401
00:21:26,839 --> 00:21:29,106
When's the last time
I ever got a compliment?

402
00:21:29,174 --> 00:21:32,209
People mock me
day in and day out.

403
00:21:32,277 --> 00:21:35,580
They call me a mama's boy.
What kind of future
do I have?

404
00:21:35,648 --> 00:21:36,814
I don't know.

405
00:21:36,882 --> 00:21:38,349
How good do you
look in flannel?

406
00:21:43,522 --> 00:21:46,858
Which one of you women
wants to arm-wrestle?
Come on.

407
00:21:46,926 --> 00:21:50,929
I can take you.
Excuse me. Hey there.

408
00:22:03,642 --> 00:22:07,378
Okay, I'll see you at home.
I love you.

409
00:22:07,445 --> 00:22:10,581
Great news. Your dad,
the, uh...