1
00:00:05,892 --> 00:00:09,295
Hello.
And a big binford welcome
back to binford's tool time.
2
00:00:09,363 --> 00:00:11,397
You may have noticed
a little change
in the set here.
3
00:00:11,465 --> 00:00:14,767
Well, binford has to
put its name on
practically everything.
4
00:00:17,637 --> 00:00:20,772
Well, today
we're going to show you
how the experts work
5
00:00:20,840 --> 00:00:23,309
With the world's
hardest stone, a diamond.
6
00:00:23,376 --> 00:00:24,843
That's right. In case
you just joined us,
7
00:00:24,911 --> 00:00:26,612
All the way from south africa,
we have a guest,
8
00:00:26,680 --> 00:00:28,080
Expert diamond-cutter...
Hi.
9
00:00:28,147 --> 00:00:29,848
...Dirk brodsky.
Hi.
10
00:00:29,916 --> 00:00:32,284
Dirk comes from a long line
of diamond-cutters.
11
00:00:32,352 --> 00:00:33,919
Oh, yeah.
That's right. In fact,
12
00:00:33,987 --> 00:00:37,290
I've brought
some diamonds cut by
my great-grandfather.
13
00:00:37,357 --> 00:00:39,925
We're looking
forward to seeing
your family jewels.
14
00:00:42,162 --> 00:00:45,464
Humor is such
a tricky thing,
isn't it?
15
00:00:48,168 --> 00:00:50,636
All right, well,
why don't we show you
16
00:00:50,704 --> 00:00:53,840
How diamonds are honed
using these machines?
17
00:00:53,907 --> 00:00:56,008
All right. We'll start off
with this little saw.
What is this for?
18
00:00:56,076 --> 00:00:58,110
Uh, this is
a rotary diamond saw.
19
00:00:58,178 --> 00:01:01,347
We cut away the unusable part
of our rough diamond
20
00:01:01,414 --> 00:01:04,250
And it gives us
perfect cleavage.
21
00:01:06,719 --> 00:01:10,189
And we all know how important
perfect cleavage is.
22
00:01:10,256 --> 00:01:11,691
Very tricky.
23
00:01:13,193 --> 00:01:15,260
Over here, this is
the brooding machine.
24
00:01:15,328 --> 00:01:18,364
Brooding. Does it come with
a self-pity attachment?
25
00:01:19,966 --> 00:01:21,967
No.
26
00:01:22,035 --> 00:01:25,004
Now, with this machine
we shape the outermost
edge of the diamond
27
00:01:25,071 --> 00:01:29,141
Which is known as the girdle.
Now, it's critical
to keep your diamond
28
00:01:29,209 --> 00:01:33,178
At a correct angle
in order to avoid
girdle stress.
29
00:01:33,246 --> 00:01:37,416
Something al's mom
knows a lot about.
30
00:01:37,483 --> 00:01:41,553
Persistence.
Now, over here,
this is the polisher.
31
00:01:41,621 --> 00:01:45,157
Um, lou here is
shaping and polishing
the facets of the diamond
32
00:01:45,225 --> 00:01:46,691
Using this spinning wheel.
33
00:01:46,759 --> 00:01:49,361
All right. How long
does the whole process take?
34
00:01:49,329 --> 00:01:51,964
With jokes like yours,
it could take years.
35
00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:56,101
But usually about
three days. Um...
36
00:01:56,169 --> 00:01:58,370
Lou? Thanks very much.
Once he's dipped it
37
00:01:58,438 --> 00:02:00,272
In the hydrochloric-acid bath,
38
00:02:00,340 --> 00:02:02,842
It'll end up looking
something like this.
39
00:02:02,909 --> 00:02:05,444
A beautiful stone,
perfectly flawless
40
00:02:05,512 --> 00:02:08,547
And needless to say,
priceless.
41
00:02:08,615 --> 00:02:09,815
Let's take
a look at that thing.
42
00:02:09,882 --> 00:02:10,982
(whistles)
yes, well...
43
00:02:11,050 --> 00:02:12,818
Beautiful, isn't it?
Yeah.
44
00:02:12,885 --> 00:02:14,687
Look at that, folks. It's got
a little burr on there.
Why don't I just...
45
00:02:14,754 --> 00:02:15,921
What?
...Take that right off
the side?
46
00:02:15,988 --> 00:02:17,223
No!
47
00:02:28,068 --> 00:02:29,534
Lovely setting.
48
00:02:32,639 --> 00:02:33,739
Thank you.
49
00:03:25,092 --> 00:03:28,060
Hi, sexy.
Great show.
50
00:03:28,128 --> 00:03:30,429
Thank you.
51
00:03:30,496 --> 00:03:33,865
Hi! Are we still on
for hibachi night
at your place?
52
00:03:33,933 --> 00:03:37,603
You betcha! I picked up
the hamburger meat.
You just bring the buns.
53
00:03:37,671 --> 00:03:38,671
(exclaims)
54
00:03:39,972 --> 00:03:41,674
Come on.
Let me walk you
to your car.
55
00:03:41,741 --> 00:03:42,908
Okay.
See you, guys.
56
00:03:42,975 --> 00:03:44,476
Trudy: Bye.
57
00:03:44,544 --> 00:03:46,278
Good afternoon, tim.
58
00:03:46,346 --> 00:03:49,181
Bud, we're gonna have to talk
about these changes
you're making on the show.
59
00:03:49,248 --> 00:03:54,319
Hey, tool man!
Beautiful show.
Loving it. Loving you.
60
00:03:54,387 --> 00:03:56,621
Well, why don't you love me
from over there?
61
00:03:56,690 --> 00:03:59,291
And tell me who
the hell you are.
62
00:03:59,358 --> 00:04:03,595
Tim, this is the man
I've chosen to, uh,
supervise tool time,
63
00:04:03,664 --> 00:04:07,533
Binford's new vp
of media production,
morgan wandell.
64
00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:11,003
And you don't have to
call me mr. Wandell.
You call me morgan.
65
00:04:11,071 --> 00:04:13,939
Or I may go with
something else.
66
00:04:14,006 --> 00:04:17,976
Well, I have an extensive
background in entertainment
and reality television.
67
00:04:18,044 --> 00:04:20,546
I'm particularly proud
of my last special.
68
00:04:20,613 --> 00:04:23,214
Topless cops on ice.
Oh, that was...
69
00:04:23,282 --> 00:04:24,950
And we feel that
the stuff you do
on tool time
70
00:04:25,017 --> 00:04:26,117
Could be in
that same league.
71
00:04:26,185 --> 00:04:27,820
Really?
Uh-huh.
72
00:04:27,887 --> 00:04:31,190
See, morgan feels
all your show needs is
explosion consistency.
73
00:04:32,558 --> 00:04:34,092
What?
He wants you to
blow up more stuff.
74
00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:36,261
Right.
75
00:04:36,329 --> 00:04:39,832
Whether it's
an accident or, uh, not.
76
00:04:39,900 --> 00:04:44,169
No, no. No.
I'm not gonna stage
explosions on tool time.
77
00:04:44,237 --> 00:04:47,006
I'm proud of the fact
all the accidents
on this show
78
00:04:47,073 --> 00:04:50,375
Are a result
of my legitimately
stupid mistakes.
79
00:04:52,345 --> 00:04:53,879
What are you working on?
80
00:04:53,946 --> 00:04:55,447
Oh, it's just
an application
81
00:04:55,515 --> 00:04:57,349
For a counseling job
in dearborn.
82
00:04:57,417 --> 00:05:00,586
I might go for the phd.
But I want to keep
my options open.
83
00:05:00,654 --> 00:05:02,521
Yeah, that's a good idea.
I mean, the last thing
you want to do
84
00:05:02,588 --> 00:05:05,757
Is narrow yourself down
in your golden years.
85
00:05:06,893 --> 00:05:09,428
I'm gonna pretend
I didn't hear that.
86
00:05:09,495 --> 00:05:12,331
And yet very soon
you won't have to pretend.
87
00:05:14,901 --> 00:05:16,301
Hi, guys.
Mark: What's up, dad?
88
00:05:16,369 --> 00:05:17,402
Jill: Hi.
89
00:05:17,470 --> 00:05:18,671
Horrible day today.
90
00:05:18,738 --> 00:05:20,438
Really?
What happened?
91
00:05:20,506 --> 00:05:25,144
Get this. Bud's handed
tool time over to some
hotshot young producer
92
00:05:25,211 --> 00:05:27,980
Who wants me to
stage explosions.
93
00:05:28,048 --> 00:05:30,315
He wants more
danger on tool time.
94
00:05:30,750 --> 00:05:33,552
More danger?
95
00:05:33,620 --> 00:05:37,156
You already have
higher insurance rates
than the knievel family.
96
00:05:39,325 --> 00:05:42,161
Morgan wandell.
The guy's been on the set...
What?
97
00:05:42,229 --> 00:05:44,296
One day.
And everybody's miserable.
98
00:05:44,364 --> 00:05:46,565
Everybody is miserable.
99
00:05:46,633 --> 00:05:50,435
Hey, guys!
I am walking on sunshine!
100
00:05:58,678 --> 00:06:01,713
I guess he's crying
on the inside.
101
00:06:01,781 --> 00:06:05,017
Crying? I am flying!
I have decided
the time is right
102
00:06:05,084 --> 00:06:07,019
To ask trudy for
her hand in marriage.
103
00:06:07,086 --> 00:06:11,390
Get out!
Hey! Congratulations.
Oh, my god! That's so great!
104
00:06:11,457 --> 00:06:13,425
Yeah.
105
00:06:13,493 --> 00:06:16,629
That's right.
After I walked trudy
to her car, I ran into dirk.
106
00:06:16,696 --> 00:06:18,898
And he sold me
one of his diamonds.
107
00:06:18,965 --> 00:06:20,032
(gasps)
ooh!
108
00:06:20,099 --> 00:06:22,835
Al, this is so beautiful.
109
00:06:22,936 --> 00:06:25,337
Yes, it is!
I really love the cleavage.
110
00:06:25,405 --> 00:06:31,409
Oh. Well, thank you.
But, gosh! It's so pretty.
111
00:06:31,477 --> 00:06:35,714
Everything will become
official after this wonderful
dinner I have arranged.
112
00:06:35,782 --> 00:06:37,315
Tim: Ooh.
Oh, that's so romantic.
113
00:06:37,383 --> 00:06:38,784
Trudy's going to love that.
114
00:06:38,852 --> 00:06:41,053
Actually,
trudy won't be there.
115
00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:45,123
I'm taking mother
out to dinner to break
the news to her first.
116
00:06:45,191 --> 00:06:47,392
Oh, well, that's a way to go.
117
00:06:47,460 --> 00:06:49,361
And let me guess
118
00:06:49,428 --> 00:06:51,296
Where you're taking her.
Sven's all-you-can-eat
smorgasbord.
119
00:06:51,364 --> 00:06:53,332
No. As luck would have it...
120
00:06:53,399 --> 00:06:56,668
You know they went bankrupt
shortly after our last visit?
121
00:06:58,004 --> 00:06:59,571
You know,
I do remember seeing
122
00:06:59,639 --> 00:07:01,440
A white flag in
their window, yeah.
123
00:07:01,508 --> 00:07:05,210
Yeah. So, I'm taking
her to sorrentino's,
Saturday night.
124
00:07:05,278 --> 00:07:06,211
We're gonna be there
Saturday night.
125
00:07:06,480 --> 00:07:07,913
Really?
Yeah.
126
00:07:07,981 --> 00:07:09,882
Hey, I got it.
After you tell your mom,
let me know. We'll come over
127
00:07:09,949 --> 00:07:12,017
And get a little
bottle of champagne
and we'll celebrate with you.
128
00:07:12,085 --> 00:07:14,219
Oh, that would be great.
I could use the support.
129
00:07:14,287 --> 00:07:16,554
I'm very nervous
about how she's
going to react.
130
00:07:16,622 --> 00:07:18,590
Oh, don't worry.
It's gonna be fine.
131
00:07:18,658 --> 00:07:22,627
I hope so. I can't believe
I'm gonna pop the question!
132
00:07:22,695 --> 00:07:24,930
Ah, it's a big day
in a man's life.
It really is.
133
00:07:24,998 --> 00:07:26,365
It sure is.
Yeah.
134
00:07:26,433 --> 00:07:27,732
Do you remember
when you asked your mother
135
00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:29,934
For permission
to get married?
136
00:07:32,539 --> 00:07:35,441
I wonder if al and his mom
are here yet.
137
00:07:42,249 --> 00:07:44,650
I'm guessing yes.
138
00:07:44,718 --> 00:07:46,485
Hey, al. Hi, alma.
139
00:07:50,290 --> 00:07:52,291
Good evening.
140
00:07:52,359 --> 00:07:55,494
Antonio.
What are you doing here?
I thought you were working
141
00:07:55,562 --> 00:07:56,795
At that french restaurant.
142
00:07:56,863 --> 00:07:58,297
I was traded for a chef
143
00:07:58,365 --> 00:08:00,633
And a waiter to
be named later.
144
00:08:00,700 --> 00:08:02,167
I am so happy
to see you.
145
00:08:02,235 --> 00:08:04,069
Really?
146
00:08:04,137 --> 00:08:08,774
No. I'm practicing false
sincerity so the borland party
will give me a big tip.
147
00:08:10,176 --> 00:08:12,043
Well, we're gonna need
a few minutes here.
148
00:08:12,111 --> 00:08:13,812
Just some bread
and water to start.
149
00:08:14,381 --> 00:08:16,114
How tantalizing!
150
00:08:19,452 --> 00:08:22,887
My god!
Is that gwyneth paltrow?
151
00:08:24,857 --> 00:08:28,460
No, antonio!
That's still my mother.
152
00:08:30,797 --> 00:08:32,597
I've never seen him
so nervous.
153
00:08:32,665 --> 00:08:35,567
Not since we did
our salute to propane.
154
00:08:38,104 --> 00:08:39,737
Ooh. I think he's
gonna tell her now.
155
00:08:39,805 --> 00:08:41,539
I see the ring coming out.
156
00:08:41,607 --> 00:08:43,442
Mother, I have
some great news.
157
00:08:43,510 --> 00:08:45,710
I've decided to
make trudy my bride.
158
00:08:45,778 --> 00:08:47,812
(woman groaning)
159
00:08:47,881 --> 00:08:48,881
(thudding)
160
00:08:50,350 --> 00:08:52,150
Al: Oh, my god!
161
00:08:53,052 --> 00:08:54,619
(al stammering)
162
00:08:55,788 --> 00:08:58,023
Somebody call a paramedic!
163
00:09:10,937 --> 00:09:12,737
I'm so sorry, al.
164
00:09:12,805 --> 00:09:14,005
So am I.
165
00:09:16,276 --> 00:09:18,743
I can't believe
I killed my mother!
166
00:09:18,811 --> 00:09:20,946
(grunts)
167
00:09:21,013 --> 00:09:24,349
This was a terrible tragedy.
But you had
nothing to do with it.
168
00:09:24,417 --> 00:09:27,519
Well, she died because
she was distraught over
my getting married.
169
00:09:27,587 --> 00:09:30,089
No!
You don't know that.
170
00:09:30,156 --> 00:09:32,324
It could've been
all the excitement
at dinner.
171
00:09:32,392 --> 00:09:35,827
Look, let's be honest.
Your mother was not in
the best physical condition.
172
00:09:35,895 --> 00:09:38,763
The doctor said that
she was a prime candidate
for a heart attack.
173
00:09:38,831 --> 00:09:40,799
And I pushed
her over the edge.
No.
174
00:09:40,866 --> 00:09:43,302
You're being way too hard
on yourself, al.
This is not your fault.
175
00:09:43,369 --> 00:09:47,706
And think of it this way.
Your mom went the way
she would want to go.
176
00:09:47,773 --> 00:09:50,008
She was dining in
a fine restaurant.
177
00:09:53,179 --> 00:09:55,747
Surrounded by her
favorite side dishes.
178
00:09:57,317 --> 00:10:00,219
And now she's at
that big buffet
in the sky.
179
00:10:01,521 --> 00:10:02,787
(breathes deeply)
180
00:10:04,190 --> 00:10:06,458
I just can't
believe she's gone.
181
00:10:07,927 --> 00:10:10,562
No more do-si-doing
at the seniors' center.
182
00:10:11,897 --> 00:10:14,966
No more harmonizing
with don ho.
183
00:10:17,870 --> 00:10:19,471
Oh, honey.
184
00:10:19,539 --> 00:10:20,639
Come on, buddy.
185
00:10:20,706 --> 00:10:21,740
You'll get through this.
186
00:10:21,807 --> 00:10:23,442
We'll be there
for you, buddy.
187
00:10:23,510 --> 00:10:27,479
I'm so glad you decided
to stay with us tonight.
188
00:10:27,547 --> 00:10:30,015
Would you like me to make you
a nice cup of tea?
189
00:10:30,082 --> 00:10:31,583
Yes, I would.
Okay.
190
00:10:31,651 --> 00:10:33,252
I can grill up
some bratwurst.
191
00:10:33,319 --> 00:10:34,853
That would be nice.
192
00:10:36,589 --> 00:10:38,690
And about work, al,
you can take off
193
00:10:38,758 --> 00:10:40,792
All the time you need.
Okay, buddy?
194
00:10:40,860 --> 00:10:42,494
And if you need any help
with the arrangements,
195
00:10:42,562 --> 00:10:43,695
We'll be glad to pitch in.
196
00:10:43,763 --> 00:10:45,130
Oh, thank you.
197
00:10:45,198 --> 00:10:47,699
Gosh, there are
so many details!
198
00:10:47,767 --> 00:10:50,202
I have to notify
the rest of the family.
199
00:10:50,270 --> 00:10:52,037
I have to find
a minister.
200
00:10:52,104 --> 00:10:55,407
Oh, gosh!
I have to buy mother
a burial plot.
201
00:10:55,475 --> 00:10:57,409
That could get pricey.
202
00:11:00,446 --> 00:11:02,581
Thanks for filling
in for al, heidi.
203
00:11:02,649 --> 00:11:04,416
Oh, sure.
Anything to help.
204
00:11:04,484 --> 00:11:07,419
But, you know, I'm
a little nervous. You and al
work so well off each other.
205
00:11:07,487 --> 00:11:09,154
Oh, come on.
You're gonna do
just fine.
206
00:11:09,222 --> 00:11:10,789
Hey, tell you what.
Do you have any quirks
207
00:11:10,856 --> 00:11:14,092
Or physical abnormalities
I can make fun of?
208
00:11:14,159 --> 00:11:15,661
Uh...
209
00:11:15,728 --> 00:11:18,964
Yeah. I twitch
when I get nervous.
210
00:11:19,032 --> 00:11:20,499
Your eye or something?
211
00:11:20,566 --> 00:11:21,500
Not exactly.
212
00:11:34,547 --> 00:11:37,349
I don't know
if I can work
with that.
213
00:11:38,585 --> 00:11:39,751
Hi, guys.
Hey.
214
00:11:39,819 --> 00:11:41,452
Al, I thought you were
taking some time off.
215
00:11:41,520 --> 00:11:42,921
Well, I thought
it would be good
216
00:11:42,989 --> 00:11:44,690
To keep my mind
busy with work
right now.
217
00:11:44,757 --> 00:11:49,561
That's a good idea.
God, this must be
so hard for you!
218
00:11:49,628 --> 00:11:52,164
I've gotta get ready
for my new intro. Okay?
219
00:11:55,401 --> 00:11:56,834
Hi, trudy.
Hi.
220
00:11:56,902 --> 00:11:57,902
What are you
doing here?
221
00:11:57,904 --> 00:11:59,838
I just wanted to make sure
you were okay.
222
00:11:59,905 --> 00:12:02,975
I haven't seen
or heard from you
since your mother died.
223
00:12:03,042 --> 00:12:04,977
Well, I've been
taking care of business.
224
00:12:05,044 --> 00:12:06,879
You know, a lot of
things going on.
225
00:12:06,946 --> 00:12:08,380
I figured that.
226
00:12:08,447 --> 00:12:10,315
Lookit,
I made you
a shepherd's pie.
227
00:12:10,383 --> 00:12:13,251
Just the way you like it,
with double meat.
228
00:12:13,319 --> 00:12:14,553
Thanks.
229
00:12:14,621 --> 00:12:15,820
I'll leave
you guys alone.
230
00:12:15,888 --> 00:12:18,457
No, no.
That's all right.
231
00:12:18,524 --> 00:12:21,092
We really gotta get
ready for the show.
232
00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:23,828
Okay. I guess
I'll see you soon.
233
00:12:23,896 --> 00:12:25,029
Thanks.
234
00:12:25,097 --> 00:12:26,298
Bye, trudy.
235
00:12:29,602 --> 00:12:31,870
It's pretty nice of her
to come down here
and bake you
236
00:12:31,937 --> 00:12:34,973
A shepherd's pie
with double meat.
237
00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:38,343
To be honest, I just wish
she'd kind of back off!
238
00:12:38,411 --> 00:12:41,380
What are you talking about?
A couple days ago you
wanted to propose to her.
239
00:12:41,447 --> 00:12:43,181
Well, that was
two days ago.
240
00:12:44,016 --> 00:12:45,083
What's happened?
241
00:12:45,150 --> 00:12:47,719
Two days ago
my whole life changed!
242
00:12:47,787 --> 00:12:49,788
Oh, come on, al.
I know you feel
like that now.
243
00:12:49,856 --> 00:12:51,956
But you and trudy
still love each other
244
00:12:52,024 --> 00:12:53,725
And everything else
is the same.
245
00:12:55,561 --> 00:12:57,696
(loud music playing)
246
00:13:00,132 --> 00:13:03,935
Let's get ready to repair!
247
00:13:17,983 --> 00:13:20,419
Oh, my god!
248
00:13:22,221 --> 00:13:24,823
It looks like somebody
hand-polished a barn.
249
00:13:28,461 --> 00:13:32,931
Well, that's an example
of something that
you shouldn't say.
250
00:13:32,998 --> 00:13:34,866
I'm glad you cleared that up.
Yeah.
251
00:13:34,934 --> 00:13:38,370
Guys, take a seat.
Let's go pay
our respects to al.
252
00:13:39,972 --> 00:13:43,608
Wow! Heidi seems
really upset.
253
00:13:43,676 --> 00:13:45,877
I think I should
go comfort her.
254
00:13:47,313 --> 00:13:49,147
Oh, thank you, guys,
for coming.
255
00:13:49,215 --> 00:13:50,982
You remember
my brother cal.
256
00:13:51,050 --> 00:13:52,951
Cal, sorry about your mom.
Thank you.
257
00:13:53,018 --> 00:13:55,153
Hi, cal.
How are you?
258
00:13:55,221 --> 00:13:56,955
I'm trying to be strong.
259
00:13:57,022 --> 00:14:02,594
Well, you don't
have to be. I mean,
a funeral is for grieving.
260
00:14:03,363 --> 00:14:05,163
You're right.
261
00:14:05,231 --> 00:14:07,165
I wish I was in
the casket with her.
262
00:14:09,736 --> 00:14:12,404
You're a therapist, right?
263
00:14:12,472 --> 00:14:13,938
Hi, al.
264
00:14:14,006 --> 00:14:17,442
Uh, hi, trudy.
265
00:14:17,510 --> 00:14:21,980
It's quite a turnout.
Your mother was obviously
loved by a lot of people.
266
00:14:22,047 --> 00:14:23,382
(sighs)
267
00:14:23,449 --> 00:14:27,952
Thanks. Uh, boy, I really need
to say hi to aunt martha.
268
00:14:29,689 --> 00:14:30,856
I don't know
what to do.
269
00:14:30,923 --> 00:14:32,056
I want to support al.
270
00:14:32,124 --> 00:14:34,626
But he keeps
pushing me away.
271
00:14:35,928 --> 00:14:38,797
Well, uh, maybe
he just needs some space.
272
00:14:38,865 --> 00:14:41,065
Maybe.
273
00:14:41,133 --> 00:14:43,268
I should go
pay my respects.
274
00:14:46,739 --> 00:14:47,773
What's going on?
275
00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:50,008
It's pretty obvious.
276
00:14:50,075 --> 00:14:52,110
Al associates trudy
with his mom's death
277
00:14:52,177 --> 00:14:55,647
So he's pushing
her away emotionally
and physically.
278
00:14:55,815 --> 00:14:56,715
Wow!
279
00:15:00,252 --> 00:15:01,686
How'd you come up
with that one?
280
00:15:01,753 --> 00:15:03,388
Al told me.
Oh.
281
00:15:06,892 --> 00:15:08,426
Hey, guys.
Hey, benny.
282
00:15:08,494 --> 00:15:09,527
Oh, hey, benny.
283
00:15:09,595 --> 00:15:11,696
What a solemn occasion.
I know.
284
00:15:11,763 --> 00:15:12,863
Jujube?
285
00:15:14,733 --> 00:15:17,602
Benny, don't you think
it's a little inappropriate
286
00:15:17,669 --> 00:15:20,805
To be passing out snacks
at a funeral?
287
00:15:20,872 --> 00:15:24,309
You're right.
I'm a bad boy.
288
00:15:27,879 --> 00:15:31,549
You know, honey, you are
ruining this funeral
for everybody.
289
00:15:34,886 --> 00:15:37,054
I'm glad al got
you to officiate.
290
00:15:37,123 --> 00:15:41,059
Well, it's my honor
to do it, neighbor.
291
00:15:41,127 --> 00:15:45,329
Of course I haven't done
a funeral since my last
ceremony in pago pago.
292
00:15:45,397 --> 00:15:46,931
Tim, if you'll excuse me,
293
00:15:46,999 --> 00:15:50,268
I have to make
a few adjustments
on this service.
294
00:15:50,335 --> 00:15:54,205
Substitute "heavenly father"
for "lizard king."
295
00:15:56,442 --> 00:16:01,279
I was just thinking about
my mother, all the great times
we used to have.
296
00:16:01,347 --> 00:16:05,817
When I was a kid,
she used to take us
to the park.
297
00:16:05,885 --> 00:16:10,121
We'd fly kites,
she'd push us on the swing.
298
00:16:10,189 --> 00:16:12,858
We'd spend hours on
the teeter-totter.
299
00:16:12,925 --> 00:16:14,826
I used to love
the teeter-totter.
300
00:16:14,894 --> 00:16:17,796
Up and down.
Up and down.
301
00:16:19,799 --> 00:16:20,799
Down?
302
00:16:27,973 --> 00:16:31,943
Well, they play it
differently in different
parts of the country.
303
00:16:32,010 --> 00:16:35,680
I just, uh,
can't believe she's gone.
304
00:16:36,615 --> 00:16:37,882
I'm so alone.
305
00:16:37,950 --> 00:16:39,617
You're not alone.
You're not alone.
306
00:16:39,685 --> 00:16:41,319
You got me, buddy.
307
00:16:41,387 --> 00:16:43,588
I know.
You got your friends,
your family,
308
00:16:43,655 --> 00:16:46,591
You know? And trudy,
who really,
really loves you.
309
00:16:47,626 --> 00:16:51,463
And I really love her.
But I...
310
00:16:51,530 --> 00:16:54,632
I don't think my mother
really wanted me
to marry trudy.
311
00:16:54,700 --> 00:16:56,033
Did she say that?
312
00:16:56,102 --> 00:17:00,538
No. But I think
actions speak louder
than words!
313
00:17:00,606 --> 00:17:02,740
Al, I don't think
that's what she meant.
You can't re-live...
314
00:17:02,808 --> 00:17:04,209
Wilson: If everybody
would take their seats,
315
00:17:04,343 --> 00:17:06,678
The service is
about to begin.
316
00:17:06,745 --> 00:17:08,746
Let's talk about
this later, okay?
317
00:17:08,815 --> 00:17:11,649
Wilson: Ladies and gentlemen,
we are here
318
00:17:11,717 --> 00:17:15,453
To celebrate
the life of alma borland.
319
00:17:15,521 --> 00:17:19,624
A warm, loving woman
who raised two
exceptional sons,
320
00:17:19,692 --> 00:17:22,394
Cal and al.
321
00:17:22,462 --> 00:17:26,098
Her youngest, al,
would now like to say
a few words.
322
00:17:36,609 --> 00:17:39,611
My mother was a great lady.
323
00:17:42,681 --> 00:17:44,249
I'm sorry!
324
00:17:46,285 --> 00:17:48,486
Cal, would you
like to say anything?
325
00:17:48,554 --> 00:17:51,589
I did...
Until I talked to jill.
326
00:17:57,997 --> 00:18:02,133
Would anyone else like to say
a few words to honor alma?
327
00:18:08,307 --> 00:18:10,542
I'd like to say something.
328
00:18:17,116 --> 00:18:18,583
Uh...
329
00:18:18,651 --> 00:18:20,585
This is hard for me
because as most of you know,
330
00:18:20,653 --> 00:18:25,490
I've spent a lot
of years making fun
of alma on tool time.
331
00:18:25,558 --> 00:18:29,194
But what you probably
don't know is that she was...
332
00:18:29,262 --> 00:18:33,231
And there's no
delicate way to say this,
but she was a huge fan.
333
00:18:37,803 --> 00:18:41,773
She had a great sense of humor
and a great spirit about her.
334
00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:45,910
Everywhere alma went,
she left a big impression.
335
00:18:49,181 --> 00:18:52,150
That was her favorite joke.
336
00:18:52,217 --> 00:18:54,519
I owe a lot to that woman.
337
00:18:54,587 --> 00:18:56,320
Without her,
I would never have had
the privilege
338
00:18:56,388 --> 00:18:58,857
Of knowing
my good friend al.
339
00:19:00,659 --> 00:19:04,295
And I know, al, that your mom
would want you to share
340
00:19:04,363 --> 00:19:07,499
The love that she gave you
with someone you love.
341
00:19:09,901 --> 00:19:10,734
(grunts)
342
00:19:12,604 --> 00:19:14,572
I didn't mean me.
343
00:19:16,541 --> 00:19:17,708
Thanks, tim.
344
00:19:23,615 --> 00:19:27,218
My mother was a great woman.
She was my friend,
345
00:19:28,420 --> 00:19:30,521
My supporter,
346
00:19:32,358 --> 00:19:34,625
My teacher. And tim's right.
347
00:19:35,727 --> 00:19:37,762
She said that
there's nothing greater
348
00:19:37,830 --> 00:19:40,832
Than sharing your love
with someone else.
349
00:19:40,899 --> 00:19:45,136
And, well, there was
something I was going
to do the other night.
350
00:19:45,204 --> 00:19:48,773
And I don't think
there's any reason
for putting it off.
351
00:19:51,210 --> 00:19:53,778
Trudy, will you marry me?
352
00:20:03,088 --> 00:20:05,623
Perhaps I've put you
on the spot?
353
00:20:07,293 --> 00:20:09,894
Of course I'll marry you, al.
354
00:20:15,968 --> 00:20:20,004
Al and trudy,
this is indeed
a joyous occasion.
355
00:20:22,074 --> 00:20:24,675
Now, let us proceed
to the grave site.
356
00:20:26,779 --> 00:20:30,415
Will the following pallbearers
please take their places?
357
00:20:30,482 --> 00:20:32,583
Al, cal,
358
00:20:32,652 --> 00:20:35,153
Tim, brad, mark,
359
00:20:35,220 --> 00:20:37,488
Marty, benny,
360
00:20:37,556 --> 00:20:41,760
Patrick, colin,
francis, chris,
361
00:20:41,827 --> 00:20:45,329
William, brian, jake,
362
00:20:45,397 --> 00:20:47,866
Carson, ted, alonzo...
363
00:20:55,007 --> 00:20:56,508
Hi, honey.
364
00:20:56,575 --> 00:20:59,644
Hi. How did the tool time
at the granite quarry go?
365
00:20:59,711 --> 00:21:01,812
It was great!
366
00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:03,848
That new executive, morgan,
didn't drive you nuts?
367
00:21:03,915 --> 00:21:08,219
No, no, no, no. Before we left
I had heidi make up
a special map for him.
368
00:21:08,287 --> 00:21:11,055
He's halfway to
amish country by now.
369
00:21:11,123 --> 00:21:14,492
But al did ask us
for a special favor.
370
00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:15,960
Well, sure. Anything.
371
00:21:16,028 --> 00:21:18,596
He wants to have the wedding
in our backyard.
372
00:21:18,664 --> 00:21:20,965
What? Why would
he want to do that?
373
00:21:21,032 --> 00:21:22,834
They want someplace
that's intimate.
374
00:21:22,901 --> 00:21:24,769
And they're
comfortable with it.
375
00:21:24,837 --> 00:21:26,671
And trudy's house,
that's where she had
her first wedding,
376
00:21:26,739 --> 00:21:29,540
There's bad memories there.
Oh. Oh.
377
00:21:29,608 --> 00:21:32,410
Well, why don't they have it
in al's backyard?
378
00:21:32,478 --> 00:21:36,046
Because the landlord
keeps a whole bunch of
car parts back there.
379
00:21:37,416 --> 00:21:39,384
You're the landlord.
380
00:21:42,888 --> 00:21:45,089
Do you want me to bring
that crap back here?
381
00:21:47,359 --> 00:21:50,361
We have a beautiful house
for a wedding.
382
00:21:56,335 --> 00:21:59,937
Hello.
And a big binford welcome
back to binford's tool time.
383
00:22:00,005 --> 00:22:02,573
You might notice
there's a few changes
here in the set.
384
00:22:02,641 --> 00:22:04,075
Binford's puts its name...
385
00:22:04,143 --> 00:22:05,443
(stammering)
386
00:22:06,711 --> 00:22:09,280
Dirk comes from a long line
of diamond cutters.
387
00:22:09,348 --> 00:22:10,714
Oh, that's right.
Yeah.
388
00:22:10,782 --> 00:22:14,118
In fact, I brought some
diamonds cut by
my great-grandfather.
389
00:22:14,186 --> 00:22:17,522
Great. Maybe next we can show
the family, show the baby...