1 00:00:01,488 --> 00:00:03,389 Narrator: Previously on home improvement. 2 00:00:04,458 --> 00:00:05,958 (screaming) 3 00:00:06,026 --> 00:00:08,293 (audience cheering) 4 00:00:08,361 --> 00:00:11,163 That's not very ladylike! 5 00:00:15,335 --> 00:00:18,704 Somebody call security! 6 00:00:18,772 --> 00:00:23,876 If you're gonna turn this show into a three-ring circus, I might just quit. 7 00:00:23,944 --> 00:00:25,845 Sorry to lose you. 8 00:00:25,913 --> 00:00:27,780 You were a good man. 9 00:00:30,283 --> 00:00:33,219 Honey, a very prestigious colleague of dr. Hanover's 10 00:00:33,286 --> 00:00:35,754 Has offered me a job at his family clinic in bloomington. 11 00:00:35,822 --> 00:00:38,390 Must be a pretty screwed up family if they have their own clinic. 12 00:00:40,993 --> 00:00:45,397 This is really an incredible opportunity for me. This man is amazing. 13 00:00:45,465 --> 00:00:48,201 You're serious about moving to indiana? 14 00:00:48,268 --> 00:00:50,136 Don't forget my car's in the shop. 15 00:00:50,204 --> 00:00:52,705 So, I'm gonna take your car and drop you guys off at school. 16 00:00:52,772 --> 00:00:56,275 Wait? What makes you think you can just take my car just like that? 17 00:00:56,342 --> 00:00:58,778 Because I paid for half of it "just like that." 18 00:01:00,948 --> 00:01:01,981 Looks like we're gonna do this. 19 00:01:02,048 --> 00:01:03,082 Yeah. 20 00:01:03,149 --> 00:01:04,416 Move to indiana. 21 00:01:04,485 --> 00:01:07,720 Yeah. You having second thoughts at all? 22 00:01:08,221 --> 00:01:10,389 No. You? 23 00:01:11,057 --> 00:01:13,125 No. No. 24 00:01:15,094 --> 00:01:16,896 I guess I'll feel better, you know, 25 00:01:16,964 --> 00:01:19,064 When I make this call to dr. Lee, 26 00:01:19,132 --> 00:01:20,733 Tell him I've decided to come. 27 00:01:21,568 --> 00:01:24,570 Yeah. I think you will. 28 00:01:24,638 --> 00:01:29,041 So, have a great tool time grand finale. 29 00:01:31,144 --> 00:01:33,278 You guys okay with this move to indiana? 30 00:01:33,346 --> 00:01:34,814 Yeah. I think so. 31 00:01:34,882 --> 00:01:36,682 Well, I'm totally depressed. 32 00:01:36,749 --> 00:01:38,651 This move's gonna be hard on all of us. It really will. 33 00:01:38,719 --> 00:01:40,185 Not about the move, dad. 34 00:01:40,253 --> 00:01:44,823 I'm a little depressed my "daddy" is driving me to school in my car. 35 00:01:44,891 --> 00:01:48,094 We're talking about family. It's way more important than any car. 36 00:01:49,396 --> 00:01:51,797 Well, it's just as important as a car. 37 00:01:51,865 --> 00:01:54,200 More important than some cars. 38 00:01:54,267 --> 00:01:56,369 Dad, check the gauge! We're out of gas! 39 00:01:56,403 --> 00:01:57,770 Don't worry about it. We've got plenty of gas 40 00:01:57,837 --> 00:02:00,205 To get you guys to school and me to tool time. 41 00:02:00,273 --> 00:02:01,940 Dad, we're on "empty." 42 00:02:02,008 --> 00:02:03,642 It's a fuel gauge. 43 00:02:03,710 --> 00:02:07,179 "empty" doesn't mean empty. It's just a guide. Don't you know that? 44 00:02:07,113 --> 00:02:10,449 We got 10 miles left. 45 00:02:10,517 --> 00:02:13,218 And it's only 5.3 to get you to school... 46 00:02:13,286 --> 00:02:15,387 Another 2.6 to tool time... 47 00:02:15,455 --> 00:02:18,090 You add those together, you, um... 48 00:02:23,863 --> 00:02:25,798 Well, you add them together, you know, and, uh... 49 00:02:25,866 --> 00:02:29,501 I don't know what it is, but I know it's less than 10. 50 00:02:29,570 --> 00:02:31,904 (car sputtering) 51 00:02:34,641 --> 00:02:37,610 Well, that 10 miles went by rather fast, huh? 52 00:03:27,561 --> 00:03:30,062 You know, it just seems like yesterday you guys used to sit in my lap 53 00:03:30,129 --> 00:03:32,198 And hold the wheel while I drove. 54 00:03:32,265 --> 00:03:34,266 Hey, don't get any ideas. 55 00:03:37,470 --> 00:03:40,973 You know, that's gonna be the hardest part about moving. 56 00:03:41,041 --> 00:03:42,274 So many memories here. 57 00:03:42,342 --> 00:03:44,276 This is where you guys grew up. 58 00:03:45,811 --> 00:03:46,611 Group hug. 59 00:03:46,679 --> 00:03:48,013 Oh, man! 60 00:03:49,482 --> 00:03:51,416 Dad, we're too old for this. 61 00:03:51,484 --> 00:03:53,752 You're too old for a group hug? 62 00:03:53,819 --> 00:03:56,254 It's back to individual ones, then. 63 00:03:58,324 --> 00:04:02,495 ♪ bad, bad, bad, bad boy 64 00:04:02,562 --> 00:04:05,397 ♪ you make me feel so good ♪ 65 00:04:05,465 --> 00:04:06,231 (yelling) 66 00:04:07,767 --> 00:04:09,034 Mom! What? 67 00:04:09,102 --> 00:04:10,535 Dad's cussing. I'm not cussing. 68 00:04:10,603 --> 00:04:12,004 He said a bad word. It wasn't bad. 69 00:04:12,072 --> 00:04:13,939 Yeah, he said "hell" and "damn." 70 00:04:14,007 --> 00:04:15,708 I did not say "damn." 71 00:04:15,776 --> 00:04:17,108 Now you did. 72 00:04:18,812 --> 00:04:20,579 Hey, dad, I heard a good joke today. 73 00:04:20,647 --> 00:04:21,647 What was it? 74 00:04:21,715 --> 00:04:23,149 Okay. 75 00:04:23,216 --> 00:04:26,018 What did the moron have for breakfast? 76 00:04:26,085 --> 00:04:27,386 I don't know. 77 00:04:27,454 --> 00:04:30,356 This morning you had scrambled eggs and toast! 78 00:04:31,691 --> 00:04:35,227 ♪ bad, bad, bad, bad boy 79 00:04:35,294 --> 00:04:38,397 ♪ you make me feel so good ♪ 80 00:04:38,464 --> 00:04:39,397 It's not that big a deal. 81 00:04:39,465 --> 00:04:40,733 I mean, I've had detention before. 82 00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:42,835 It's the first day of school! 83 00:04:45,238 --> 00:04:48,807 No one ever gets detention on the first day of school. 84 00:04:48,875 --> 00:04:50,542 I wouldn't say no one. 85 00:04:52,445 --> 00:04:54,346 No, it's gonna take a minute to boot up. 86 00:04:54,381 --> 00:04:58,483 I still have that old 286 chip on it. Not much power. 87 00:05:03,055 --> 00:05:06,324 Are you saying this thing needs more power? 88 00:05:06,393 --> 00:05:10,695 Lemme open it up. I can make this thing go faster. 89 00:05:10,763 --> 00:05:12,063 Well, why don't we just save you the trouble 90 00:05:12,132 --> 00:05:14,733 And throw it up against the wall? 91 00:05:14,801 --> 00:05:15,868 Both: Oh, man! 92 00:05:15,936 --> 00:05:19,705 ♪ bad, bad, bad, bad boy 93 00:05:19,773 --> 00:05:22,875 ♪ you make me feel so good ♪ 94 00:05:22,942 --> 00:05:25,144 Oh, so now you're telling me what I can and can't write? 95 00:05:25,212 --> 00:05:28,214 You're acting like some tyrannical fascist. 96 00:05:29,515 --> 00:05:32,717 Did he just call me a dinosaur? 97 00:05:32,785 --> 00:05:35,520 Sex is, uh... It's like a car. 98 00:05:36,189 --> 00:05:38,123 The best idea 99 00:05:38,191 --> 00:05:41,827 Is to keep the car in the garage for a long, long, long time. 100 00:05:44,931 --> 00:05:48,033 And then, somewhere in the future, the distant future, 101 00:05:48,101 --> 00:05:52,604 When that garage door opens, you gotta think, "car cover." 102 00:05:54,875 --> 00:05:57,042 Guys, will you clean up this pigsty, now? 103 00:05:57,109 --> 00:05:59,645 Yeah. We'll get right on it. 104 00:06:01,414 --> 00:06:03,548 (sighing) 105 00:06:03,616 --> 00:06:05,751 Ah, look at this picture of the kids. This is what? 106 00:06:05,819 --> 00:06:08,487 The summer of 1991. Aren't they cute? 107 00:06:11,958 --> 00:06:13,124 Hey. 108 00:06:13,192 --> 00:06:14,392 Hey. 109 00:06:26,606 --> 00:06:30,543 Hey, brad. I'll take that change from the gas money now. 110 00:06:30,610 --> 00:06:32,044 Oh, yeah. 111 00:06:36,416 --> 00:06:39,585 Maybe next time you'll fill up the tank like I asked you to. 112 00:06:39,653 --> 00:06:40,886 Hope you learned something from this. 113 00:06:40,954 --> 00:06:45,123 Yeah, that the "e" stands for "empty," not "extra 10 miles." 114 00:06:45,191 --> 00:06:48,360 I'll tell you one thing. If I had built this car, it'd have an extra fuel tank in it. 115 00:06:48,427 --> 00:06:51,063 Dad, if you built this car, we'd be taking the bus. 116 00:06:52,865 --> 00:06:57,102 Hey, if there's one thing dad knows how to do, it's build a car, okay? 117 00:06:57,170 --> 00:06:59,972 This is the greatest gift you've ever given me. 118 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:02,308 I gave you three children. 119 00:07:02,375 --> 00:07:05,311 Yeah. But none of them came out this clean. 120 00:07:05,378 --> 00:07:10,348 ♪ oh, switchblade 327 lit cigarette in his hand 121 00:07:10,416 --> 00:07:14,152 ♪ steel-toed boots on the accelerator oil leaking out of the pan 122 00:07:14,187 --> 00:07:15,554 (imitating motorcycle engine) 123 00:07:17,557 --> 00:07:19,290 ♪ switchblade, three two-barrels 124 00:07:19,358 --> 00:07:21,560 ♪ getting there as fast as you can 125 00:07:21,627 --> 00:07:25,597 ♪ all juiced up like a hot carburetor spitting gas on the fan 126 00:07:25,632 --> 00:07:28,266 All right, under the car. Man territory. 127 00:07:28,334 --> 00:07:32,304 ♪ switchblade! 327 switchblade! Seven come 11 128 00:07:32,372 --> 00:07:34,940 ♪ switchblade! Oh, he's all right ♪ 129 00:07:34,708 --> 00:07:36,207 I'm addicted to cars. 130 00:07:36,242 --> 00:07:37,876 Well, duh! 131 00:07:37,943 --> 00:07:41,213 I'm thinking of checking into the henry ford clinic. 132 00:08:00,166 --> 00:08:02,334 Dad, can we stop? I'm really hungry. 133 00:08:02,402 --> 00:08:05,203 How can you be hungry? Your mom just cooked us breakfast. 134 00:08:05,805 --> 00:08:07,372 Did you eat it? 135 00:08:08,241 --> 00:08:10,242 It was good oatmeal. 136 00:08:10,310 --> 00:08:12,344 It was scrambled eggs. 137 00:08:13,513 --> 00:08:16,047 Bad scrambled eggs. 138 00:08:16,115 --> 00:08:17,583 Yeah. When I get married, 139 00:08:17,650 --> 00:08:20,919 I'm gonna make a woman prove to me that she's a good cook. 140 00:08:20,987 --> 00:08:24,622 That's why you're gonna be 80, alone and very hungry. 141 00:08:26,359 --> 00:08:28,494 Come on! Cooking has nothing to do with a relationship. 142 00:08:28,561 --> 00:08:30,295 Your mom and I have a good marriage 143 00:08:30,363 --> 00:08:33,632 Because we share an honest, mutual respect. 144 00:08:33,700 --> 00:08:36,101 How could you say that? 145 00:08:36,169 --> 00:08:37,970 Why do you always bug me during the football game? 146 00:08:38,038 --> 00:08:40,005 Did I bug you during childbirth? 147 00:08:41,474 --> 00:08:44,944 No. But you bugged me during conception. 148 00:08:45,011 --> 00:08:46,477 Little gas ball. Moving... Moving. 149 00:08:46,545 --> 00:08:47,545 (belching) 150 00:08:50,249 --> 00:08:51,350 Ahh! 151 00:08:51,418 --> 00:08:53,284 This is real attractive. 152 00:08:55,088 --> 00:08:56,755 I just read this survey, 153 00:08:56,822 --> 00:08:59,391 And it said that some couples, no matter how busy they are, 154 00:08:59,459 --> 00:09:02,594 Still make love five times a week. 155 00:09:02,662 --> 00:09:04,229 With each other? 156 00:09:06,700 --> 00:09:08,200 Where were we? 157 00:09:12,304 --> 00:09:15,674 It's kind of hard to remember. 158 00:09:15,742 --> 00:09:18,209 This will refresh your memory. 159 00:09:18,277 --> 00:09:19,277 (belches) 160 00:09:26,953 --> 00:09:28,454 Can't we just... Can't we just... No, no... 161 00:09:28,521 --> 00:09:29,888 One time. Just think, think, think. No... No... No... 162 00:09:29,956 --> 00:09:32,424 But... Home-automated system! No! No! 163 00:09:32,492 --> 00:09:34,993 We never actually said that we weren't gonna have another baby. 164 00:09:35,061 --> 00:09:37,863 I've said it. I've talked about it. I know I've talked about it. 165 00:09:37,930 --> 00:09:39,464 I mentioned it on tool time. 166 00:09:39,531 --> 00:09:41,800 Oh, great. So 11 people know about it? 167 00:09:44,103 --> 00:09:48,106 Do you remember babies at all? Dirty diapers. Colic. 168 00:09:48,174 --> 00:09:50,209 2:00 a.M. Feedings! 3:00 a.M. Feedings! 169 00:09:50,276 --> 00:09:52,510 I don't have the energy for that anymore. 170 00:09:52,578 --> 00:09:53,912 You don't have the energy to say, 171 00:09:53,980 --> 00:09:56,381 "wake up, jill, the baby wants you"? 172 00:09:58,485 --> 00:10:00,518 Sorry. I'm sorry! Mark was right. 173 00:10:00,586 --> 00:10:02,387 (groans) 174 00:10:02,455 --> 00:10:05,390 You shouldn't have double onions on those chili dogs. 175 00:10:06,592 --> 00:10:07,926 Hello. 176 00:10:16,936 --> 00:10:19,304 Your mom and I have had our share of disagreements, 177 00:10:19,372 --> 00:10:21,440 But in the end, it doesn't matter, you know? 178 00:10:21,508 --> 00:10:23,942 Because one of us always apologizes. 179 00:10:24,677 --> 00:10:26,845 You? Yup. 180 00:10:26,913 --> 00:10:29,314 It was a good thing that you had wilson here to help you out. 181 00:10:29,382 --> 00:10:33,551 Well, he's learned as much from me as I have from him. 182 00:10:33,619 --> 00:10:37,255 Tim, would you mind listening while I ruminate? 183 00:10:37,323 --> 00:10:40,358 No, go ahead. Use the bush over by the gazebo. 184 00:10:42,929 --> 00:10:45,430 There was a time when I thought my extensive research 185 00:10:45,532 --> 00:10:48,267 Into ancient tribal cultures, obscure scientific data, 186 00:10:48,334 --> 00:10:51,470 The thoughts of great philosophers would never come in handy. 187 00:10:51,537 --> 00:10:54,873 Then you moved in. 188 00:10:54,940 --> 00:10:58,309 I like to create, wilson. Everything I do I want to make bigger and better. 189 00:10:58,377 --> 00:11:03,414 Well, tim, this obsessive desire to create partly happens 190 00:11:03,482 --> 00:11:06,351 Because men feel inferior to women. 191 00:11:06,419 --> 00:11:07,352 (grunts) 192 00:11:08,921 --> 00:11:11,356 It's because we can't bear children. 193 00:11:11,424 --> 00:11:13,258 I don't mind the boys that much. 194 00:11:18,664 --> 00:11:21,433 Wilson, you're not making me feel any better. 195 00:11:21,500 --> 00:11:26,571 Well, excuse me! Why do I always have to be santa's little helper? 196 00:11:26,639 --> 00:11:27,572 Well... 197 00:11:27,640 --> 00:11:29,641 I mean, I have wants. I have needs. 198 00:11:29,709 --> 00:11:32,444 I have issues. But does anyone ever come to the fence and say, 199 00:11:32,511 --> 00:11:34,446 "wilson, do you have a problem?" I mean, no! 200 00:11:34,513 --> 00:11:38,316 It's just "me, me, me, me!" 201 00:11:38,418 --> 00:11:41,453 You know, tim, I'm reminded of an old philosopher who once said, 202 00:11:41,521 --> 00:11:44,422 "you have to give a little, take a little..." 203 00:11:44,490 --> 00:11:46,958 "let your poor heart break a little." 204 00:11:49,628 --> 00:11:51,163 ♪ that's the story of ♪ that's the story of 205 00:11:51,231 --> 00:11:53,732 ♪ that's the glory of love ♪ that's the glory of love ♪ 206 00:11:54,700 --> 00:11:56,101 (honking) 207 00:11:56,169 --> 00:11:58,103 Hey, there. 208 00:11:58,171 --> 00:12:00,405 I get recognized everywhere. 209 00:12:00,473 --> 00:12:03,675 Dad, he was honking because you took up two lanes. 210 00:12:05,378 --> 00:12:08,212 He was thrilled to see me. That's why he was waving his hand. 211 00:12:08,280 --> 00:12:10,115 Dad, that was only part of his hand. 212 00:12:12,184 --> 00:12:15,119 He was saying, "tool time is number one." 213 00:12:16,589 --> 00:12:18,423 Does everybody know what time it is? 214 00:12:18,490 --> 00:12:20,425 Tool time! Tool time! 215 00:12:21,393 --> 00:12:23,094 Hi. Tim "the tool man" taylor. 216 00:12:23,162 --> 00:12:24,463 And you all know my assistant, 217 00:12:24,530 --> 00:12:26,565 Al "this land is" borland. 218 00:13:08,908 --> 00:13:10,909 Jill: Oh, my god! 219 00:13:10,976 --> 00:13:13,011 What is this thing on your head? 220 00:13:13,879 --> 00:13:16,181 It's a little piece of table. 221 00:13:18,183 --> 00:13:19,517 What happened? 222 00:13:19,585 --> 00:13:22,020 Oh, mr. Negativity al distracted me, 223 00:13:22,054 --> 00:13:23,654 And I got my head cemented to this table. 224 00:13:23,722 --> 00:13:26,859 They had to take a saber saw to get me off of that table. 225 00:13:26,926 --> 00:13:28,960 Don't you think you should go to the emergency room? 226 00:13:29,028 --> 00:13:33,265 I was just there. They said I wasn't a priority. 227 00:13:33,333 --> 00:13:37,001 Why? Was there a guy with a whole table stuck to his head? 228 00:13:38,371 --> 00:13:39,571 What do we need? 229 00:13:39,639 --> 00:13:41,673 More power! More power! 230 00:13:44,043 --> 00:13:45,944 (grunting) 231 00:13:46,779 --> 00:13:47,579 Come on, guys! 232 00:13:47,780 --> 00:13:49,413 (grunts) 233 00:13:49,481 --> 00:13:51,282 Jam it in the light. 234 00:13:57,356 --> 00:13:58,656 Stuff like this. 235 00:14:01,928 --> 00:14:03,161 (yelling) 236 00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:09,033 Here you go, tim. 237 00:14:19,945 --> 00:14:21,979 (yelling) 238 00:14:37,930 --> 00:14:42,100 The one good thing about tool time being over is no more accidents. 239 00:14:42,167 --> 00:14:44,068 We still have a house. 240 00:14:44,136 --> 00:14:46,004 You know what they say. 241 00:14:46,072 --> 00:14:49,040 Every year, over 100,000 accidents occur in the home. 242 00:14:49,108 --> 00:14:51,910 And 99,000 of those occur in our home. 243 00:14:54,280 --> 00:14:55,614 All right, dad. 244 00:14:55,682 --> 00:14:57,582 Let her rip. 245 00:14:57,650 --> 00:14:59,917 No, wait a minute. Wait a minute. I think we should say a prayer first. 246 00:15:00,053 --> 00:15:02,454 Please, lord. Don't let our house blow up. 247 00:15:02,521 --> 00:15:05,023 ♪ I get knocked down but I get up again 248 00:15:05,091 --> 00:15:07,225 ♪ you're never gonna keep me down 249 00:15:07,327 --> 00:15:09,961 ♪ I get knocked down but I get up again 250 00:15:10,029 --> 00:15:11,663 ♪ you're never gonna keep me down 251 00:15:11,730 --> 00:15:14,266 ♪ I get knocked down but I get up again 252 00:15:14,333 --> 00:15:16,167 ♪ you're never gonna keep me down 253 00:15:16,235 --> 00:15:19,070 ♪ I get knocked down but I get up again 254 00:15:18,838 --> 00:15:21,373 ♪ you're never gonna keep me down 255 00:15:21,440 --> 00:15:22,807 Ground. We're looking to ground. 256 00:15:22,875 --> 00:15:24,509 Yellow, see? 257 00:15:24,576 --> 00:15:28,513 The sun is yellow. It heats the ground. That's how they name stuff. 258 00:15:33,385 --> 00:15:35,153 Is that car running? 259 00:15:37,790 --> 00:15:39,357 (tim screaming) 260 00:15:42,328 --> 00:15:44,195 Oh, shake it off. 261 00:15:48,568 --> 00:15:51,369 ♪ I get knocked down but I get up again 262 00:15:51,436 --> 00:15:52,970 ♪ you're never gonna keep me down 263 00:15:53,038 --> 00:15:55,439 ♪ I get knocked down but I get up again 264 00:15:55,708 --> 00:15:57,809 ♪ you're never gonna keep me down 265 00:15:58,611 --> 00:15:59,811 Oh! 266 00:16:02,949 --> 00:16:06,618 Tim: It's okay. The ground seems to have broken my fall. 267 00:16:06,686 --> 00:16:09,154 ♪ get knocked down but I get up again 268 00:16:09,221 --> 00:16:11,055 ♪ you're never gonna keep me down 269 00:16:11,123 --> 00:16:13,925 ♪ I get knocked down but I get up again 270 00:16:13,993 --> 00:16:16,661 ♪ you're never gonna keep me down ♪ 271 00:16:16,729 --> 00:16:19,230 You know, marge, it's kind of gratifying 272 00:16:19,298 --> 00:16:22,634 To be here in the hospital and not be a patient. 273 00:16:22,701 --> 00:16:23,735 See you, "tool man." 274 00:16:23,803 --> 00:16:25,103 Hey, buddy. 275 00:16:28,073 --> 00:16:31,076 Well, maybe you can have that feeling another day. 276 00:16:35,915 --> 00:16:37,115 Hey, thanks for the ride, dad. 277 00:16:37,182 --> 00:16:38,650 You bet. 278 00:16:38,718 --> 00:16:41,486 Yeah. Go get 'em at tool time. Yeah. Break a leg, huh? 279 00:16:41,553 --> 00:16:42,920 Oh, you know what I mean. 280 00:16:42,988 --> 00:16:44,655 Hey, guys? 281 00:16:44,724 --> 00:16:47,058 I probably don't say this enough to you two, but I love you guys. 282 00:16:47,126 --> 00:16:49,227 I'm really happy the way you guys turned out, you know? 283 00:16:49,295 --> 00:16:52,063 You're smart, hard-working, honest boys. 284 00:16:55,868 --> 00:16:59,070 Here's the rest of that gas money. 285 00:16:59,138 --> 00:17:01,139 I knew you were holding out. 286 00:17:02,174 --> 00:17:03,407 Get out of here. 287 00:17:03,475 --> 00:17:04,642 Brad: Later, dad. Love you. 288 00:17:04,744 --> 00:17:06,077 Have a good day, dad. You, too. 289 00:17:06,145 --> 00:17:07,712 Mark: Love you. 290 00:17:07,779 --> 00:17:09,581 A lot of memories. 291 00:17:14,653 --> 00:17:17,822 I'm perfectly happy being married to a man who thinks that 292 00:17:17,890 --> 00:17:20,825 Pbs is something that women get once a month. 293 00:17:24,229 --> 00:17:27,365 Honey, it is much safer for a man to get a vasectomy 294 00:17:27,432 --> 00:17:30,034 Than it is for a woman to have a tubal ligation. 295 00:17:30,102 --> 00:17:34,206 Says who? The wives with knives club? 296 00:17:34,273 --> 00:17:37,341 A woman? You brought me here to see a woman? 297 00:17:37,409 --> 00:17:38,843 I didn't know she was a woman. 298 00:17:38,911 --> 00:17:40,344 My gynecologist just said 299 00:17:40,412 --> 00:17:43,481 That dr. Kaplan was the best urologist in town. 300 00:17:43,549 --> 00:17:48,620 How am I supposed to talk to a woman about what's going on in man land? 301 00:17:48,688 --> 00:17:53,992 Man land? Now you got a theme park between your legs? 302 00:17:55,194 --> 00:17:57,795 Demolition derby... Ooh. Sexy wife... 303 00:17:59,365 --> 00:18:01,032 Could you hold that thought until about 10:00 tonight? 304 00:18:01,099 --> 00:18:03,434 Wait a minute. This thought here? 305 00:18:09,041 --> 00:18:11,175 That... That would be the one. 306 00:18:12,711 --> 00:18:15,379 What causes sibling rivalry? 307 00:18:15,314 --> 00:18:17,382 Having more than one kid. 308 00:18:18,684 --> 00:18:20,952 You fired the granite guy? 309 00:18:23,822 --> 00:18:26,024 Did you hear what I said? He came on to me. 310 00:18:26,091 --> 00:18:27,992 What did he say? You had a nice outfit or something? 311 00:18:28,060 --> 00:18:29,394 He kissed me. 312 00:18:33,199 --> 00:18:34,332 What did you do? 313 00:18:34,399 --> 00:18:35,866 I... I pushed him away! 314 00:18:35,934 --> 00:18:36,968 Well, you should have fired him! 315 00:18:37,036 --> 00:18:38,970 I did fire him! 316 00:18:39,038 --> 00:18:41,273 You fired the granite guy? 317 00:18:42,975 --> 00:18:44,742 It's always been my fantasy to be with a man 318 00:18:44,810 --> 00:18:46,877 Who enjoyed doing the same things I do. 319 00:18:46,945 --> 00:18:51,115 You know, like taking me to the opera, the ballet, the theater. 320 00:18:51,183 --> 00:18:52,650 That's my fantasy too. 321 00:18:53,885 --> 00:18:55,286 Really? Uh-huh. 322 00:18:55,354 --> 00:18:58,456 If I could find that man, I wouldn't have to go myself. 323 00:19:00,159 --> 00:19:03,494 Our wedding was so beautiful. 324 00:19:03,562 --> 00:19:08,266 I am so glad that I didn't let anybody talk me out of marrying you. 325 00:19:12,438 --> 00:19:14,472 Who tried to talk you out of marrying me? 326 00:19:14,540 --> 00:19:17,142 Oh, no one. You know, just 327 00:19:17,209 --> 00:19:20,979 My mom, my dad, my sisters, my friends, 328 00:19:21,047 --> 00:19:26,484 The minister, the postman, some guys down at the mailbox. 329 00:19:33,626 --> 00:19:37,362 ♪ it's hard to say goodbye 330 00:19:37,430 --> 00:19:40,899 ♪ you're much more than a friend 331 00:19:40,966 --> 00:19:44,902 ♪ when good times becomes memories 332 00:19:44,970 --> 00:19:49,040 ♪ they never really end 333 00:19:49,108 --> 00:19:52,877 ♪ like ancient rites of passage 334 00:19:52,944 --> 00:19:56,714 ♪ it's time to carry on 335 00:19:56,782 --> 00:20:01,019 ♪ we caught lightning in a bottle 336 00:20:01,086 --> 00:20:06,057 ♪ as we went along 337 00:20:06,125 --> 00:20:09,527 ♪ we've got it all 338 00:20:11,797 --> 00:20:13,765 ♪ wouldn't change a minute 339 00:20:13,832 --> 00:20:17,234 ♪ we've got it all 340 00:20:18,337 --> 00:20:21,906 ♪ never will forget it 341 00:20:21,974 --> 00:20:25,476 ♪ as years go slipping by us 342 00:20:25,544 --> 00:20:28,913 ♪ you know we will recall 343 00:20:28,981 --> 00:20:32,116 ♪ these times we've found together 344 00:20:32,184 --> 00:20:36,454 ♪ we've got it all 345 00:20:36,522 --> 00:20:43,361 ♪ long goodbyes never suited you and me 346 00:20:43,428 --> 00:20:46,631 ♪ you know if god is willing 347 00:20:46,698 --> 00:20:51,035 ♪ we'll go on eternally 348 00:20:53,172 --> 00:20:57,742 ♪ we've got it all ♪ 349 00:21:09,388 --> 00:21:10,454 (sighs) 350 00:21:10,522 --> 00:21:13,224 I can't believe this is my last tool time. 351 00:21:20,199 --> 00:21:23,201 Well, those 10 miles went by rather fast, huh? 352 00:21:30,008 --> 00:21:32,076 I tell you to fill the car up, do as I say. 353 00:21:32,144 --> 00:21:34,312 I hope you learned that. 354 00:21:34,379 --> 00:21:36,414 Yeah, I learned that the "e"... 355 00:21:38,784 --> 00:21:41,152 I'll tell you one thing. Wilson's learned enough from me, 356 00:21:41,220 --> 00:21:44,255 You know, to fill a bushel basket full of pears.