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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO

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MUSIC: "Colonel Bogey"

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COMPUTER:   Tell me the colour
of the letters in this word.

3
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Yes, yes, yes. You want me to
say green but the answer is red.

4
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How childish.

5
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Blue?!

6
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Listen, you messed up
tangle of circuitry.

7
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Want to see a test of character?

8
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Put two astronauts in a burning
ship with one escape pod

9
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and a knife on the table.
Then you'll see character! Hur!

10
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Pink.

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HE CHOKES

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Arrange the blocks
in order of yellowness.

13
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Stage.  Ooh ooh!

14
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I know! Now this reminds me of
when I was in the youth orchestra.

15
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Me and my friends, to be
honest, were a little bit crazy.

16
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They called us the Wacky Woodwinds.

17
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Brilliant.
One answers, please.

18
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Oh, yes, sorry.

19
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Sunset.  Despair.

20
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What is the next shape
in this sequence?

21
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I got the nail gun.

22
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You are entering a
private residential area of space.

23
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Avert your course.

24
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Do not trespass.

25
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Avert your course.

26
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'Hello. We're not here right now.

27
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'We're having some psychological
tests to make sure
we haven't all gone nutty.

28
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'But leave a message and we'll
get back to you as soon as we can.'

29
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Hang on, let me get this right. If
Marianne jumps twice as far as Nat,

30
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but Nat jumps a metre further than
Bill, then Marianne has jumped...

31
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METALLIC SCREECHES
I thought... Oh.

32
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Ahh, I see what you're doing.

33
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Test of concentration.
"Can he think under fire?"

34
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Whoa...!

35
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Commander!

36
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Gor... Commander!
Got to check his scores.

37
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Commander...

38
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You don't think that's real,
do you?! It's part of the test!
Eerrt. You have failed.

39
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BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

40
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Hull breach!

41
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We should go and have a look.

42
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Hull breach. Hull breach.

43
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All right.
I mean, we took some damage.

44
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Here, we're using the term,
"heavy damage."

45
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But it just goes to show
how dedicated my crew were
to passing your test.

46
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The test they failed.

47
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This is just paper.
It's not real life.

48
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Let's have a little review.

49
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"Cadet Harris has manic tendencies."

50
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I mean, so what?
She's bloody good at her job.

51
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"And Engineer Dobbs has a fantasy
where he holes up in a railway shed
and make models of his friends...

52
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"from his own...

53
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"waste."

54
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I mean...

55
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we've all done it.

56
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We have a bit of a meeting
with the Admiral this afternoon.
Yeah. Very informal.

57
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Everyone's terribly fond of you.
But there was a feeling in the room,

58
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and I don't want to go against
the feeling in the room.
No, of course you don't.

59
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That with all
the things happening lately, well...

60
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How old is she?

61
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40?! She doesn't look it!

62
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Where was I? All the things
that have been happening lately.

63
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Yeah. We're sending a ship.

64
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They'll be with you in a week.

65
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They'll give you
a Category J inspection.

66
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Phwurr...

67
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Urgh...

68
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(We'll never pass a Category J.)

69
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No-one's ever passed...

70
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Ooh! There's cake!

71
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Commander?

72
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MOURNFUL ACCORDION

73
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Category J. H-hm.

74
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Category J.

75
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He did say Category J, didn't he?

76
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I mean, he didn't say
Category K, or....

77
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No, he said J.

78
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They'll inspect every last wire
and screw on this ship until
they find something to fail us on.

79
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They always do.
But you've got a plan, haven't you?
You've always got a plan.

80
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Come on, what is it?

81
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A man mind-melds
with a sentient black hole,
and somehow that sorts it all out.

82
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Come on. What is it?

83
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I don't have a plan.

84
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We're gonna be discharged
with dishonour.

85
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Oh, will you please stop!
Don't, don't!

86
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ACCORDION CONTINUES

87
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It's on auto!

88
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You bloody cheat.

89
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How often do you do that?
Hardly ever.

90
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A lot.

91
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INSTRUMENTS BLEEP

92
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Vine.

93
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Vine...

94
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Camden Lock to Eridanus base,
stop mucking about, over.

95
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'Don't know what you mean.'

96
00:05:33,068 --> 00:05:39,012
Vine! Vine,
you are the chosen one.

97
00:05:39,028 --> 00:05:41,060
We are coming for you, Vine.

98
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From a distant galaxy.

99
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Of all the humans,

100
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you are the spe...

101
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Vi-i-ine!

102
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You may be resigned to failure.
I am not.

103
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It's out of our hands.

104
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Give me control of this ship
for a week and the inspection
shall be passed. I refuse to fail!

105
00:06:08,076 --> 00:06:11,000
I can't go back to Earth.

106
00:06:11,012 --> 00:06:13,056
Mother will make me wear...

107
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I refuse! That's all!

108
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I don't fancy your chances very much
but...

109
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you may have command.

110
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You won't regret it, Sir.

111
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I want you to take this.

112
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I carry it with me all the time.

113
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A young cadet gave it to me.

114
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She never made it
through the Nebula Wars.

115
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But, you know, when I look at this,
it reminds me that...

116
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I'm here to serve the crew,

117
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never the other way round.

118
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Thank you, Commander.

119
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Waste chute closed.

120
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OK, yoganauts. Let's try cat.

121
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And breathe in.

122
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And into puppy.

123
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It's a stressful time, Mr York.
We all need yoga.

124
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Everybody, socks and shoes on.

125
00:07:34,060 --> 00:07:38,088
Teal, put me on every screen and
speaker on this goddamn ship.

126
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You're on.

127
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Attention all crew.

128
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This is Mr York speaking.

129
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The Commander is currently
indisposed.

130
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The ship is now mine.

131
00:07:55,060 --> 00:07:59,088
I have to tell you
that in a week's time we face
a Category J inspection.

132
00:08:00,008 --> 00:08:03,088
That's right, I repeat,
a Category J inspection.

133
00:08:04,004 --> 00:08:08,004
Our margin for error
is precisely 0.0.

134
00:08:08,024 --> 00:08:13,096
At times like this,
Commander Henderson would no doubt
tell you that he believed in you.

135
00:08:14,016 --> 00:08:20,032
I will not. I have absolutely
no faith whatsoever in any of you.

136
00:08:20,052 --> 00:08:26,056
You are all miserable wretches
who have proven your mediocrity
to me time and time again.

137
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And your only hope of success
is to submit utterly to my will.

138
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There will be no more alcohol.

139
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No more fast food. No more thinking.

140
00:08:38,028 --> 00:08:40,064
I am the master,

141
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you are my tools.

142
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I am the Alpha and the Omega.

143
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York out.

144
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COCKEREL CROWS

145
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4.20am!

146
00:08:52,012 --> 00:08:53,036
Wake up!

147
00:08:53,048 --> 00:08:56,020
Time to obey. Time to obey ME.

148
00:08:56,032 --> 00:08:58,032
Time to obey ME without question!

149
00:08:58,048 --> 00:09:01,020
Time to obey ME without
question, but with gratitude!

150
00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:07,024
Time to obey ME without question,
but with gratitude for having
been given orders to OBEY by ME!

151
00:09:11,088 --> 00:09:14,068
And remember, work makes us PURE.

152
00:09:14,088 --> 00:09:18,076
Fatigue is the little Dutch
girl, tempting us with
the fatty cheese of rest.

153
00:09:18,096 --> 00:09:22,088
Ignore her cheese. Do not
pause to admire her windmills.

154
00:09:23,008 --> 00:09:27,048
I said, "Do NOT pause to admire
her windmills." Revive him.

155
00:09:27,068 --> 00:09:30,080
Extend his shift, and dock
his wages and rations accordingly.

156
00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:35,084
'I grow weary of this war.

157
00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:39,084
'The forces of evil are too great,
even for me!

158
00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:43,052
'And I will not put
Robot in any more danger.'

159
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ROBOTIC BLEEPS

160
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'Captain Helix,
heroes rise, and heroes fall.

161
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'But you are a hero to heroes.

162
00:09:51,048 --> 00:09:53,020
'Be all you can be.

163
00:09:53,032 --> 00:09:55,060
'Robot...

164
00:09:55,072 --> 00:09:58,088
'To the mountains of Zarn!'

165
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Zarn.

166
00:10:00,096 --> 00:10:03,004
Turn it off. Off!

167
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HE SOBS

168
00:10:13,028 --> 00:10:14,096
Vine!

169
00:10:15,012 --> 00:10:20,056
We are closer, Vine. Close enough
to speak to you with pure thought.

170
00:10:20,072 --> 00:10:22,096
Who are you?

171
00:10:23,012 --> 00:10:26,012
We are the wise ones,
the cosmic lords.

172
00:10:26,028 --> 00:10:29,080
We choose one
from each sentient species

173
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to join our group consciousness.

174
00:10:32,024 --> 00:10:34,064
We will show you our power.

175
00:10:35,068 --> 00:10:38,036
Vine. I am you in the past.

176
00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:42,000
I am you in the future.

177
00:10:42,016 --> 00:10:44,072
And I am you if you
were wearing a red jumper.

178
00:10:44,088 --> 00:10:47,008
Dance, Vine.

179
00:10:47,020 --> 00:10:49,024
Dance with you.

180
00:10:49,036 --> 00:10:51,052
Celebrate our coming!

181
00:11:05,052 --> 00:11:08,076
Er, Jeffers. Jeffers...

182
00:11:12,028 --> 00:11:14,048
Hiya, Jeffers.

183
00:11:14,064 --> 00:11:19,048
What juices you got? Orange juice,
tomato juice and special juice.

184
00:11:19,064 --> 00:11:22,008
Special juice?
Right. How much is that?

185
00:11:22,024 --> 00:11:23,064
Same as a vodka and orange.

186
00:11:23,076 --> 00:11:25,088
I'll have a special juice then.

187
00:11:30,028 --> 00:11:31,064
Oh...

188
00:11:34,064 --> 00:11:36,072
Good evening. Mr York.

189
00:11:36,088 --> 00:11:40,088
Mr York. Mr Jeffers,
I find myself a little parched.

190
00:11:41,008 --> 00:11:44,064
I wonder if I might have a
little sip of your...fruit juice?

191
00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:05,092
As I suspected.

192
00:12:06,008 --> 00:12:08,092
All drinks, into the
waste chute with them.

193
00:12:09,008 --> 00:12:11,076
Piretti, the bottles.

194
00:12:11,088 --> 00:12:13,040
And punishment,

195
00:12:13,056 --> 00:12:17,020
all of you will gather in my
quarters in the next five minutes,

196
00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:22,076
form a circle and flog each other
in a daisy chain of retribution.

197
00:12:27,088 --> 00:12:29,064
This is bollocks. I know.

198
00:12:29,076 --> 00:12:31,048
You lot should do something.

199
00:12:31,060 --> 00:12:33,092
Like what? I dunno. A sit-in.

200
00:12:34,004 --> 00:12:35,048
An anti-York sit-in.

201
00:12:35,060 --> 00:12:37,056
Where? In the Control Room.

202
00:12:37,072 --> 00:12:42,000
All right. Oi! Jeffers wants
a sit-in, in the Control Room!

203
00:12:42,020 --> 00:12:45,076
When shall we do it? Now?
All right, Jeffers wants it now!

204
00:12:48,008 --> 00:12:49,096
I'm just having a laugh. This is...

205
00:12:50,008 --> 00:12:52,076
ALL: Jeffers! Jeffers!

206
00:12:52,092 --> 00:12:55,048
ALL: Jeffers!
Steady on, this is just bar talk.

207
00:13:04,060 --> 00:13:06,076
Yoo-hoo.

208
00:13:08,040 --> 00:13:10,040
Commander?

209
00:13:11,044 --> 00:13:13,068
Hey, Teal. Hello.

210
00:13:13,084 --> 00:13:17,052
I was just a bit worried about
you, so I've come to gee you up.

211
00:13:17,072 --> 00:13:23,080
I know that you'd gee me up. So
we're a sort of gee you up library
service to each other, as it were.

212
00:13:23,096 --> 00:13:26,036
Bless you, Teal.

213
00:13:26,048 --> 00:13:28,092
You know, what am I gonna do?

214
00:13:29,008 --> 00:13:32,072
You take me out of this job,
I haven't got any skills.

215
00:13:32,088 --> 00:13:35,008
You can learn new skills.

216
00:13:35,024 --> 00:13:38,064
It would have been nice then if
you said, "Yeah, you've got skills!"

217
00:13:38,080 --> 00:13:41,004
Sorry. Yeah, you've got skills.

218
00:13:41,016 --> 00:13:43,056
Too late, sorry.

219
00:13:43,068 --> 00:13:45,048
Discharge with dishonour.

220
00:13:45,064 --> 00:13:49,060
You know, I won't
even get to wear the club tie.

221
00:13:49,076 --> 00:13:51,044
It's got little...

222
00:13:51,056 --> 00:13:53,012
blue rockets all over it.

223
00:13:53,028 --> 00:13:56,060
I've always wanted it, you know?
Yeah.

224
00:13:56,076 --> 00:13:58,024
I tell you what you need.

225
00:13:58,040 --> 00:14:01,020
You need a little hug,
from Miss Teal.

226
00:14:02,076 --> 00:14:04,060
Yeah. Maybe... Yeah.

227
00:14:04,072 --> 00:14:07,036
Maybe I do. Just a big hug.

228
00:14:09,012 --> 00:14:11,040
There we are. Ssh! Ssh! Ssh!

229
00:14:12,032 --> 00:14:14,048
Teal. Ssh! No need to speak.

230
00:14:14,060 --> 00:14:16,004
Just rest till morning.

231
00:14:18,028 --> 00:14:19,032
Teal...

232
00:14:20,040 --> 00:14:22,092
please can you take your hand
from out of there.

233
00:14:23,096 --> 00:14:26,012
Sorry.

234
00:14:26,024 --> 00:14:28,048
Look...

235
00:14:28,064 --> 00:14:31,036
It's out of the underpants, but
it's still on the erm...

236
00:14:31,052 --> 00:14:32,092
Is it? Yeah.

237
00:14:33,004 --> 00:14:36,024
EXCITED SHOUTS

238
00:14:42,084 --> 00:14:46,012
Vine, we're having a sit-in.
You coming?

239
00:14:46,028 --> 00:14:48,044
I would but I'm the Chosen One.

240
00:14:48,060 --> 00:14:51,064
Oh, right. Yeah, there's these
beings and they're immortal.

241
00:14:51,084 --> 00:14:54,096
I'm going to join them and be a
guardian of the universe forever.

242
00:14:55,016 --> 00:14:59,016
So all these human worries will seem
infinitely small. Yeah.

243
00:14:59,032 --> 00:15:00,068
Good luck with it though.

244
00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:03,072
Cheers. Come on! Freedom!

245
00:15:05,004 --> 00:15:09,072
You don't have access rights.
There's expensive equipment in here.
It's the ship's hub.

246
00:15:11,052 --> 00:15:14,048
What are you doing?!
Make yourselves comfortable(!)

247
00:15:16,012 --> 00:15:17,084
Are we gonna get food?

248
00:15:18,004 --> 00:15:22,068
Enough said.
There is never an excuse for
juggling. Thank you. No juggling.

249
00:15:22,084 --> 00:15:25,048
No. This is a navigational...

250
00:15:30,008 --> 00:15:35,052
And who, I wonder,
is behind all THIS?!

251
00:15:35,064 --> 00:15:37,068
ALL: Jeffers.

252
00:15:43,060 --> 00:15:48,028
Look, I can't be arsed with this
any more than you can,

253
00:15:48,048 --> 00:15:51,064
but the little people are angry
so I'm gonna help you out.

254
00:15:51,084 --> 00:15:55,040
I'm gonna say "no floggings
and booze on Saturdays,"

255
00:15:55,056 --> 00:15:57,084
and you say, "Damn you, but yes,"

256
00:15:57,096 --> 00:16:00,072
and I'll do a bit of shouting. Mmm?

257
00:16:00,084 --> 00:16:02,000
Good plan.

258
00:16:02,012 --> 00:16:04,020
Yeah. Thanks. OK.

259
00:16:04,036 --> 00:16:06,096
And I'm gonna tell you
one more time!

260
00:16:07,012 --> 00:16:09,076
No floggings,
and more booze on Saturdays!

261
00:16:09,092 --> 00:16:10,080
ALL: Yeah!

262
00:16:10,092 --> 00:16:12,040
What do you say?

263
00:16:12,052 --> 00:16:14,080
I say...

264
00:16:14,092 --> 00:16:17,044
you are all mutinous scum.

265
00:16:17,060 --> 00:16:20,032
But having said that,
I go on to say this...

266
00:16:20,052 --> 00:16:24,092
Imagine a ball of iron the
size of the sun and, once a year,

267
00:16:25,012 --> 00:16:30,008
a tiny cock sparrow brushes its
surface with the tip of its wing.

268
00:16:30,028 --> 00:16:34,088
And when that ball of iron, the size
of the sun, is worn away to...

269
00:16:35,004 --> 00:16:37,084
WHISPERED: nothing...

270
00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:42,004
then your collective punishment
will barely have begun.

271
00:16:42,020 --> 00:16:45,052
Ooh, the things I will do to you!

272
00:16:49,068 --> 00:16:52,060
Your futile attempts at resistance
amuse me.

273
00:16:54,096 --> 00:16:58,000
What? Oh, if I must go, then I must.

274
00:17:00,004 --> 00:17:02,016
SANDSTROM: 'Attention.

275
00:17:02,032 --> 00:17:06,032
'Crew Members are requested not to
join the riot on levels one to five.

276
00:17:07,040 --> 00:17:10,032
'That's the riot on
levels one to five.'

277
00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:20,096
CRASHES AND THUDS

278
00:17:25,032 --> 00:17:27,080
YORK CLEARS THROAT

279
00:17:37,084 --> 00:17:39,024
Huh!

280
00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:42,052
Actually, er,

281
00:17:42,064 --> 00:17:44,068
it might surprise you, I, er,

282
00:17:44,084 --> 00:17:48,044
sometimes watch a bit of
Captain Helix myself, you know.

283
00:17:49,048 --> 00:17:51,080
I know.

284
00:17:53,012 --> 00:17:56,000
I liked the fourth season best

285
00:17:56,016 --> 00:17:58,012
when they got rid
of that stupid robot.

286
00:17:59,076 --> 00:18:01,024
You're so wrong.

287
00:18:03,016 --> 00:18:04,064
Michael...

288
00:18:06,048 --> 00:18:08,048
I've lost the ship.

289
00:18:10,076 --> 00:18:12,024
I know.

290
00:18:14,032 --> 00:18:20,000
Oh, I know I can be a
bit old guard sometimes, but...

291
00:18:20,016 --> 00:18:22,020
it's for everybody's benefit.

292
00:18:24,048 --> 00:18:27,028
So why are they all so damned...

293
00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:29,000
hard on me?

294
00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:32,060
Eduardo.

295
00:18:32,072 --> 00:18:35,012
Don't touch me.

296
00:18:37,020 --> 00:18:39,020
The crew despise me.

297
00:18:39,032 --> 00:18:41,020
No...

298
00:18:41,032 --> 00:18:42,068
it's true.

299
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:44,020
They do.

300
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,036
But they like you.

301
00:18:48,048 --> 00:18:51,032
I don't know why...

302
00:18:52,036 --> 00:18:54,024
but they like you.

303
00:18:55,032 --> 00:18:58,016
And that's...
that's why you can help me.

304
00:18:59,020 --> 00:19:00,044
Commander,

305
00:19:00,056 --> 00:19:03,040
I need you to help me.

306
00:19:06,044 --> 00:19:08,024
Commander...

307
00:19:08,036 --> 00:19:11,012
you're going to get up now,

308
00:19:11,024 --> 00:19:13,052
get out there

309
00:19:13,064 --> 00:19:16,028
and you're going to make it...

310
00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:18,060
better again.

311
00:19:20,048 --> 00:19:22,032
You're a hero to heroes.

312
00:19:23,036 --> 00:19:25,004
Be all you can be.

313
00:19:26,088 --> 00:19:28,028
That's Helix.

314
00:19:37,068 --> 00:19:40,012
That's me, and the ship.

315
00:19:42,028 --> 00:19:44,040
York...

316
00:19:48,064 --> 00:19:49,080
(..I'm ready.)

317
00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:53,024
(Give me my watch.)

318
00:19:57,028 --> 00:19:59,056
Is it really that important?

319
00:19:59,068 --> 00:20:01,052
Just find it! Yes.

320
00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:08,032
Er...yes.

321
00:20:17,044 --> 00:20:19,080
ENOUGH!

322
00:20:22,068 --> 00:20:25,044
(You better get the hell
out of my chair right now.)

323
00:20:28,076 --> 00:20:31,036
I am not going to ask
who started this...

324
00:20:31,052 --> 00:20:33,060
ALL: Jeffers. It was Jeffers.

325
00:20:33,072 --> 00:20:35,084
MOUTHS: It was not.

326
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:38,024
..because I don't need to know.
ALL: Jeffers.

327
00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:39,076
Ee-ee-eep!

328
00:20:41,060 --> 00:20:44,032
As of now, it is finished.

329
00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:47,028
Over.

330
00:20:49,052 --> 00:20:51,056
In three days,

331
00:20:51,068 --> 00:20:53,088
we face a Category J inspection.

332
00:20:56,028 --> 00:20:58,056
We can't pass it.

333
00:20:58,068 --> 00:21:00,092
It's impossible.

334
00:21:01,004 --> 00:21:04,008
Impossible.

335
00:21:04,020 --> 00:21:05,092
But you know what?

336
00:21:06,004 --> 00:21:07,084
There was a time when...

337
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:12,052
men said that climbing
Ben Nevis was impossible.

338
00:21:12,072 --> 00:21:19,004
They said that giving a man
a squirrel's heart was impossible,
and look what happened.

339
00:21:20,076 --> 00:21:24,092
You will be the first crew
to pass a Category J test.

340
00:21:25,008 --> 00:21:27,096
Not because I'm asking you to,

341
00:21:28,012 --> 00:21:30,084
but because you know what
it means to be Space Force.

342
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:33,024
You volunteered.

343
00:21:33,044 --> 00:21:39,000
Well, I mean, some of you did a crime
so it was this or prison, but you
know, a lot of you...

344
00:21:41,020 --> 00:21:44,016
..a large proportion of you...
(Yeah.)

345
00:21:44,032 --> 00:21:46,032
..volunteered.

346
00:21:47,084 --> 00:21:49,028
Guys...

347
00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:51,044
HE CHUCKLES

348
00:21:51,056 --> 00:21:52,076
Mmm.

349
00:21:54,044 --> 00:21:56,000
..I've been on a crazy

350
00:21:56,012 --> 00:21:58,052
freaked out trip this week, you know,

351
00:21:58,064 --> 00:22:00,092
to a place called despair.

352
00:22:01,004 --> 00:22:02,084
I had a little look around.

353
00:22:04,004 --> 00:22:06,044
I didn't like it. Pthrpt.

354
00:22:06,056 --> 00:22:09,024
So I got on a bus...and I came back.

355
00:22:10,056 --> 00:22:13,096
But
I'm not getting off this bus at hope.

356
00:22:14,008 --> 00:22:15,048
No way.

357
00:22:15,064 --> 00:22:18,040
I'm
staying on it all the way to victory.

358
00:22:20,072 --> 00:22:22,076
Why don't you guys come with me?

359
00:22:22,088 --> 00:22:24,004
Eh?

360
00:22:24,016 --> 00:22:25,056
Yeah? ALL: Yeah.

361
00:22:25,068 --> 00:22:28,056
Good. Now, clean it up!

362
00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:49,032
LOCKS CLUNK AND HISS

363
00:22:57,084 --> 00:23:00,020
Morning, Commander.
Morning, Inspector.

364
00:23:00,036 --> 00:23:03,016
I think we'll start
in the engine room. Yes. This way.

365
00:23:12,024 --> 00:23:13,072
Excellent.

366
00:23:19,060 --> 00:23:22,064
Air ducts, adequate.

367
00:23:28,068 --> 00:23:32,024
Vine. Vine.

368
00:23:32,036 --> 00:23:34,092
We are here.

369
00:23:35,008 --> 00:23:38,056
Across four galaxies
we have travelled.

370
00:23:38,072 --> 00:23:42,020
It was five, yes.

371
00:23:42,032 --> 00:23:44,032
I drove for a bit, remember?

372
00:23:44,044 --> 00:23:45,056
Oh, yes.

373
00:23:45,068 --> 00:23:49,068
Come, Vine. Come to us.

374
00:24:04,076 --> 00:24:09,004
Now, you are ready.

375
00:24:10,012 --> 00:24:14,044
Ah, the Chosen One.

376
00:24:17,048 --> 00:24:19,036
I've got him, I've got him!

377
00:24:19,048 --> 00:24:21,000
Get his trousers down!

378
00:24:21,016 --> 00:24:23,068
Ooh-hoo-hoo!   It's a hairy one!
Get the camera!

379
00:24:23,084 --> 00:24:26,092
Get the camera! Whoo-hoo-hoo!

380
00:24:27,004 --> 00:24:30,080
ALIENS CACKLE

381
00:24:30,096 --> 00:24:32,084
Get it on the wall!
Get it on the wall!

382
00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:34,076
How many's that now?

383
00:24:34,088 --> 00:24:36,084
61 million,

384
00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:41,008
110,000 arses!
THEY CACKLE

385
00:24:42,088 --> 00:24:45,052
Back you go!

386
00:24:45,064 --> 00:24:48,096
The Chosen One(!)

387
00:24:49,008 --> 00:24:51,040
You bloody shits!

388
00:24:51,052 --> 00:24:53,000
Ooh. Sense of humour failure.

389
00:24:53,012 --> 00:24:54,096
BOTH: Ta-ra!

390
00:25:02,068 --> 00:25:04,060
Good.

391
00:25:19,092 --> 00:25:22,088
How did we do?
I've been doing this five years.

392
00:25:23,004 --> 00:25:26,040
Yours is the smartest ship
I've seen in that time.

393
00:25:26,056 --> 00:25:28,068
Your crew are a credit to you.

394
00:25:28,084 --> 00:25:30,040
So, I mean...did we...

395
00:25:30,052 --> 00:25:32,096
Oh, it's a fail. Oh-whoa-whoa...

396
00:25:33,016 --> 00:25:37,032
One uniform infringement.
Thank God I saw that
or I don't know what I'd have done.

397
00:25:39,052 --> 00:25:40,052
Goodbye.

398
00:25:53,056 --> 00:25:56,056
What can I say, Henderson?

399
00:25:56,072 --> 00:25:59,088
I feel really awful about this.
Probably worse than you,

400
00:26:00,004 --> 00:26:01,096
but, um, what can I say?

401
00:26:03,028 --> 00:26:06,016
Well, you could say,
"I'll review my decision."

402
00:26:06,032 --> 00:26:07,088
That's something I can't say.

403
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:11,024
Stuart! Dominic! Hi. Grrr!

404
00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:14,048
And congratulations...
Commander!

405
00:26:14,060 --> 00:26:15,084
What?!

406
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:18,008
You can always change that shirt.
Good.

407
00:26:18,024 --> 00:26:20,080
Why don't you wait for me
over there? I won't be a sec.

408
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:24,048
You'll return to Starbase
Three under fighter escort.

409
00:26:24,068 --> 00:26:26,088
Oh, and the Admiral would
like to thank you...

410
00:26:27,092 --> 00:26:30,000
because...

411
00:26:31,004 --> 00:26:33,016
"you've made a contribution"?!

412
00:26:36,092 --> 00:26:39,064
We made...we made a contribution.

413
00:26:39,080 --> 00:26:42,004
That's right, his own words.
(His own words.)

414
00:26:44,044 --> 00:26:47,004
Stuart? Space Marsh... No, Stuart,

415
00:26:47,020 --> 00:26:50,040
tell the Admiral that starting with
the rotating dish at the top,

416
00:26:50,060 --> 00:26:54,052
through admin and the hover pad,
right the way down
to the grand atrium,

417
00:26:54,072 --> 00:26:59,032
he can take his entire Starbase and
he can shove it up his fat airlock.

418
00:26:59,048 --> 00:27:01,036
That's good. Thank you.

419
00:27:01,048 --> 00:27:04,000
(Come on, Henderson. Don't do this.)

420
00:27:04,012 --> 00:27:05,080
We're not coming in. No!

421
00:27:05,092 --> 00:27:07,064
We've been friends for ages...

422
00:27:07,076 --> 00:27:09,068
Goodbye. Michael?!

423
00:27:09,080 --> 00:27:11,000
Come on!

424
00:27:11,012 --> 00:27:12,084
My god!

425
00:27:15,072 --> 00:27:20,036
So what happens now? Are we pirates?
Will there be hats?

426
00:27:20,052 --> 00:27:21,076
No, we don't get hats.

427
00:27:21,088 --> 00:27:23,060
We go on with the mission.

428
00:27:23,076 --> 00:27:27,060
To protect Britain's interests in
an ever-changing galaxy, even if...

429
00:27:27,076 --> 00:27:30,032
Britain doesn't quite want us to.

430
00:27:30,044 --> 00:27:32,012
Thank you, Teal.

431
00:27:32,028 --> 00:27:37,012
You know, sometimes, to protect
the spirit of the law, a man must...

432
00:27:37,028 --> 00:27:40,068
Oh, I can't believe I did that.

433
00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:43,000
Commander, we've got a signal.

434
00:27:43,020 --> 00:27:48,020
The insectoids of Warris
are attacking the British
settlers on Regulus Prime.

435
00:27:50,028 --> 00:27:52,048
British? Yes.

436
00:27:54,080 --> 00:27:56,028
British settlers.

437
00:28:00,008 --> 00:28:03,040
All right. Let's do our job. Mr Vine,

438
00:28:03,056 --> 00:28:06,028
set course for Regulus Prime.
Yes, Commander.

439
00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:08,000
Mr York?

440
00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:13,092
Sweet York, if you please? Commander.

441
00:28:14,004 --> 00:28:17,044
Sandstrom? Full power!

442
00:28:22,004 --> 00:28:24,020
Oh, I love it!

443
00:28:24,032 --> 00:28:25,072
You...

444
00:28:27,092 --> 00:28:31,040
I just thought
you should know... Yeah.

445
00:28:31,056 --> 00:28:34,016
Nine British ships closing on us.

446
00:28:35,096 --> 00:28:37,096
Oh.

447
00:28:38,008 --> 00:28:40,004
MUSIC: "Colonel Bogey"

448
00:29:07,016 --> 00:29:10,064
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd - 2006

449
00:29:13,068 --> 00:29:13,076
E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk