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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO

1
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The most powerful weapon ever built.

2
00:00:34,008 --> 00:00:36,000
Whoa! She is British.

3
00:00:36,016 --> 00:00:38,040
Five years late and
six times over budget.

4
00:00:38,060 --> 00:00:43,020
They say for what it cost, every
man, woman and child in Britain
could have their own hospital.

5
00:00:43,036 --> 00:00:45,044
Though they can foresee
staffing problems.

6
00:00:45,060 --> 00:00:47,076
What if it falls
into the wrong hands?

7
00:00:47,092 --> 00:00:50,028
We're not going to give it to the
Americans, are we? No way!

8
00:00:50,044 --> 00:00:52,044
This baby's so big,
she'll stop all wars.

9
00:00:52,060 --> 00:00:56,020
Even the people it's pointed at will
feel protected by its aggression.

10
00:00:56,036 --> 00:00:57,092
It's a win-win.

11
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The skies are clear,
our deadly cargo undetected...

12
00:01:01,024 --> 00:01:02,092
For now.

13
00:01:03,008 --> 00:01:06,044
But death stalks us,
you can be sure of that.

14
00:01:06,060 --> 00:01:09,096
She rises from the sea,
her knife on her hips,

15
00:01:10,012 --> 00:01:13,004
droplets glistening
on her bronzed flesh.

16
00:01:13,020 --> 00:01:16,076
Wearing the tiniest of bikinis.

17
00:01:18,096 --> 00:01:20,008
Chillax, Mr York.

18
00:01:20,024 --> 00:01:22,076
It's just a weapon big enough
to extinguish the stars.

19
00:01:22,092 --> 00:01:26,060
It's not like we're carrying
some kind of doomsday machine.

20
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Tell you what - contact the Gower
and the Purley Way please.

21
00:01:34,020 --> 00:01:36,004
Another course correction, really?

22
00:01:36,016 --> 00:01:37,060
Wow! Whose big chair is that?

23
00:01:37,072 --> 00:01:40,028
That's yours. Right.

24
00:01:43,048 --> 00:01:46,080
Breaker breaker 1414 for a copy.
This is Papa Bear, come back.

25
00:01:46,096 --> 00:01:48,032
Oh, for goodness sake.

26
00:01:48,048 --> 00:01:51,012
It's an ancient communications
system. It's good for convoys.

27
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Papa Bear, this is Skydancer.

28
00:01:55,024 --> 00:01:56,008
Hey, how you doing?

29
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This is Fruit Smoothie.

30
00:01:57,092 --> 00:02:00,008
That's a 10 - 2, Papa Bear.

31
00:02:00,024 --> 00:02:02,048
We've all got handles,
it's another word for names.

32
00:02:02,076 --> 00:02:05,036
I'm hollering you cos we got
a new course correction,

33
00:02:05,052 --> 00:02:07,000
I'm wiring it to your 20 now.

34
00:02:07,012 --> 00:02:09,020
Commander, I mean Papa Bear.

35
00:02:09,036 --> 00:02:12,024
At the Academy, they said
only make one correction a day.

36
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Well, school's out ladies, yeah,
so put away your pencil cases.

37
00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:19,052
When you change your course, an
enemy can spot your engine flare.

38
00:02:19,072 --> 00:02:23,096
Relax, yeah. The old man knows what
he's doing, not that I'm that old.

39
00:02:24,012 --> 00:02:27,012
Very young whilst being
very wise and experienced.

40
00:02:27,028 --> 00:02:29,060
Jeffers, could you...

41
00:02:29,072 --> 00:02:31,008
That's what he wants.

42
00:02:31,024 --> 00:02:34,032
I tell you what, why don't the both
of you come over to my crib tonight

43
00:02:34,052 --> 00:02:38,096
and I'll tell you some of the things
they don't teach you in the academy,
and cook you my famous ribs.

44
00:02:39,012 --> 00:02:41,064
I don't eat meat. That's cool.

45
00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:44,076
It's just textured soya
on a big plastic bone.

46
00:02:44,092 --> 00:02:48,016
Sounds delicious! You're on.

47
00:02:48,028 --> 00:02:50,032
See you later.

48
00:02:54,028 --> 00:02:56,052
MUTTERS TO HIMSELF

49
00:02:57,016 --> 00:02:59,056
What's that, Vine?
Nothing. What have you got?

50
00:02:59,072 --> 00:03:01,096
Nothing.
I can see you're holding something.

51
00:03:02,012 --> 00:03:04,052
I haven't got anything. What's
behind your back? Nothing!

52
00:03:04,072 --> 00:03:07,068
Don't lie, Vine, let me see what's
in your hand.
It's a mouth player.

53
00:03:07,084 --> 00:03:11,080
What? A mouth player. Holds 15,000
tastes. Gets new ones wirelessly.

54
00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:14,052
You got a new gadget before me,
that's not in the rules, is it?

55
00:03:14,068 --> 00:03:16,028
No, don't! No, you'll break it!

56
00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:17,068
How does it work?

57
00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:21,028
INAUDIBLE MUMBLING

58
00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:22,076
From the main menu screen?

59
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MUMBLES

60
00:03:23,092 --> 00:03:25,044
Ah, combinations.

61
00:03:25,056 --> 00:03:27,096
Apple and banana.

62
00:03:28,008 --> 00:03:30,084
Custard and olives.

63
00:03:30,096 --> 00:03:33,076
Don't do that. Sorry, sorry.

64
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Cinnamon and...

65
00:03:36,084 --> 00:03:38,032
cat wee.

66
00:03:38,044 --> 00:03:41,008
I know. Cinnamon, huh?

67
00:03:41,020 --> 00:03:45,052
Oh, you are both so dear to me.

68
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Like twin stars lighting
the firmament of my soul.

69
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And yet so different...

70
00:03:52,088 --> 00:03:54,056
Like chalk

71
00:03:54,068 --> 00:03:56,032
and Yang.

72
00:03:56,048 --> 00:04:01,040
Oh, Robot,
which so ere of them shall I choose?

73
00:04:01,052 --> 00:04:03,000
Both.

74
00:04:04,096 --> 00:04:06,052
Commander.

75
00:04:06,064 --> 00:04:10,004
I have finally perfected the banato.

76
00:04:10,016 --> 00:04:12,056
Oh. Well done, York.

77
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Oh, another box set.

78
00:04:18,004 --> 00:04:19,068
Yeah. New format.

79
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Look at the quality.

80
00:04:22,072 --> 00:04:24,060
Data triangles.

81
00:04:24,072 --> 00:04:26,028
The old digi cubes.

82
00:04:26,044 --> 00:04:31,096
They look so clunky now, don't they?
And I suppose it came with that.

83
00:04:32,012 --> 00:04:37,008
Look at it. Beep beep beep.

84
00:04:37,020 --> 00:04:38,036
Ooo-doo-doo-doo.

85
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Beep.

86
00:04:41,060 --> 00:04:43,028
Two Princesses.

87
00:04:43,040 --> 00:04:45,056
An above-average episode. Yeah.

88
00:04:45,068 --> 00:04:46,060
Yes, it is.

89
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ROARING

90
00:04:47,076 --> 00:04:48,072
Oooh!

91
00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:52,052
Good commanders, aren't they,
those girls?

92
00:04:52,068 --> 00:04:56,004
Russian gulati.
Yes, they show potential.

93
00:04:59,020 --> 00:05:00,068
Have you... Have you ever, um...

94
00:05:05,016 --> 00:05:09,024
I'm sorry, I don't grasp the
significance of your eyebrow
waggling, commander.

95
00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:12,028
Have you ever done it
with two women at once?

96
00:05:15,012 --> 00:05:16,092
'Commander. Incoming attack.'

97
00:05:17,004 --> 00:05:18,012
Not tonight!

98
00:05:22,096 --> 00:05:26,020
Strange ship. It sure ain't coming
over for coffee.

99
00:05:26,036 --> 00:05:30,056
Don't add those things at the end,
it's very annoying. Air screen.

100
00:05:30,076 --> 00:05:34,084
The only way to fight is to get in
close. Get behind me, do what I do.

101
00:05:35,004 --> 00:05:37,012
But we should stay
back and guard the gun.

102
00:05:37,028 --> 00:05:38,092
They were very clear in training.

103
00:05:39,008 --> 00:05:41,008
Forget what they taught you
at the Academy.

104
00:05:41,024 --> 00:05:43,076
You know me, and
I think you admire me.

105
00:05:43,088 --> 00:05:46,004
So what's it going to be?

106
00:05:47,068 --> 00:05:49,016
Yes. Sandstrom - let's play.

107
00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:01,056
They are not following us,
by the way.

108
00:06:01,068 --> 00:06:04,088
I told them with genial authority.

109
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Both of our ships... Direct hits.

110
00:06:24,028 --> 00:06:27,076
Damn it! Why didn't they listen
to me? Sandstrom, get us in close.

111
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I mean, white van close.

112
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Now then, Mr York, this one is mine.

113
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Goodbye.

114
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We have a Scrane.

115
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It's badly wounded.

116
00:06:51,084 --> 00:06:54,048
We don't have long to
kill it before it dies.

117
00:06:54,064 --> 00:06:57,056
You'd better put your face pipe in
gear and tell me how you found us.

118
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SCRANE HOWLS

119
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"Self love yourself,
You self loving self lover."

120
00:07:04,020 --> 00:07:05,068
That is rude.

121
00:07:08,048 --> 00:07:10,056
"Your mighty weapon shall be ours."

122
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SCRANE LAUGHS

123
00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:16,016
This is just laughing.

124
00:07:16,032 --> 00:07:18,064
Damn it, it's taking a capsule.
Get it out.

125
00:07:18,076 --> 00:07:20,004
Squeeze the end.

126
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:21,080
Squeeze the end!

127
00:07:21,092 --> 00:07:24,008
It's OK, it's just a mint.

128
00:07:24,020 --> 00:07:29,016
OK. How did you find the convoy?

129
00:07:33,044 --> 00:07:34,092
Potatoes in the mist.

130
00:07:39,028 --> 00:07:41,080
Sorry, traitor in your midst.

131
00:07:46,016 --> 00:07:47,064
He's dead.

132
00:07:49,044 --> 00:07:51,040
This is for Skydancer.

133
00:07:51,052 --> 00:07:54,016
And this is for Juicy Fruit.

134
00:07:54,028 --> 00:07:55,084
Fruit Smoothie, wasn't it?

135
00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:58,092
Yes, getting rather
ahead of yourself there, aren't you?

136
00:07:59,008 --> 00:08:02,000
I hear they
are surprisingly considerate lovers.

137
00:08:06,008 --> 00:08:09,004
We found this on the Scrane ship.

138
00:08:09,020 --> 00:08:14,024
Hard evidence. A signal only an
officer has clearance to transmit.

139
00:08:14,040 --> 00:08:18,084
Ergo,
the collaborator is in this room.

140
00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:23,012
No one here would let me down, hmm?
Teal.

141
00:08:23,028 --> 00:08:25,048
I know you wouldn't. Mr Vine...

142
00:08:25,060 --> 00:08:27,084
Yeah, I know you wouldn't.

143
00:08:27,096 --> 00:08:29,036
Jeffers.

144
00:08:32,072 --> 00:08:34,008
Jefferson. Yes.

145
00:08:34,024 --> 00:08:37,040
It would just be easy if you
confess now. Well, it's not Jeffers.

146
00:08:37,056 --> 00:08:40,012
It will be next time, though.
What about Silicon Sally.

147
00:08:40,032 --> 00:08:43,060
We don't know what goes on in her
head. I've seen her eat teaspoons.

148
00:08:43,076 --> 00:08:45,016
Oh, that's where they all go.

149
00:08:45,032 --> 00:08:47,052
It's not Sandstrom.
She's loyal and brave.

150
00:08:47,064 --> 00:08:49,000
ALL: Ooooh!

151
00:08:49,016 --> 00:08:51,048
All right. We know the
bad guys is one of you lot.

152
00:08:51,060 --> 00:08:53,004
It's not me. It's not me.

153
00:08:53,016 --> 00:08:54,072
Wait a minute.

154
00:08:54,084 --> 00:08:57,032
You are an officer - it could be you.

155
00:08:57,044 --> 00:08:59,016
Why would I sabotage my own mission?

156
00:08:59,036 --> 00:09:03,016
Well, there are motives. Your crew
has plateaued,
so frustration, bitterness.

157
00:09:03,028 --> 00:09:04,020
Rage, impotence.

158
00:09:04,036 --> 00:09:06,020
It's her. She's making us
fight each other.

159
00:09:06,036 --> 00:09:07,068
You are this close to a biffing.

160
00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:10,008
How do we know it's not you? Oi!

161
00:09:10,024 --> 00:09:14,020
Look, I mean, one of us, including
me, although it is not me...

162
00:09:14,036 --> 00:09:15,060
ALL: Or me.

163
00:09:15,072 --> 00:09:16,088
..is the traitor.

164
00:09:17,004 --> 00:09:19,008
So we go one by one to the detective
room

165
00:09:19,024 --> 00:09:22,024
because the software
will always get his man.

166
00:09:22,040 --> 00:09:23,064
Or woman. Or woman, yes.

167
00:09:23,076 --> 00:09:24,068
It's not me.

168
00:09:24,084 --> 00:09:28,044
All right! In the meantime,
we're on around 10% power and that

169
00:09:28,064 --> 00:09:31,084
makes us a sitting duck, and
I don't want to be a sitting duck.

170
00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:33,004
I want us waddling.

171
00:09:33,020 --> 00:09:37,052
I want us beating the geese to the
bread. That's the kind of duck I am.

172
00:09:37,072 --> 00:09:41,004
I know one of you wants
to kill us all but... Aaah!

173
00:09:41,020 --> 00:09:45,008
Work for team duck. All right?

174
00:09:49,088 --> 00:09:53,040
'Welcome.
Please select preferred detective.'

175
00:09:54,064 --> 00:09:57,048
Erm... wheelchair... gardeners...

176
00:09:57,060 --> 00:09:59,064
Ooh, hard-bitten gumshoe please.

177
00:10:00,064 --> 00:10:02,084
'I looked up, it was a girl.

178
00:10:02,096 --> 00:10:05,008
'She was tall, high-class.

179
00:10:05,024 --> 00:10:08,036
'A frightened look in her slate
grey eyes. I got to the point.

180
00:10:08,052 --> 00:10:11,052
'"When did you would start
working for the Scrane?" I said.

181
00:10:11,068 --> 00:10:13,040
I never have. 'She replied.'

182
00:10:13,052 --> 00:10:15,016
Sorry, must we have the smoke?

183
00:10:15,028 --> 00:10:16,068
It's very off-putting.

184
00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:19,008
And what have you deduced?

185
00:10:19,028 --> 00:10:24,068
'It is elementary for me to deduce
that you are highly unlikely
to be the criminal.'

186
00:10:24,084 --> 00:10:28,056
Because you sense in me an...
honesty.

187
00:10:28,072 --> 00:10:30,024
'No, because you are stupid.'

188
00:10:31,092 --> 00:10:35,072
No. Little more.

189
00:10:37,092 --> 00:10:41,036
Now what? Single blade of grass
on a summer afternoon.

190
00:10:42,092 --> 00:10:44,040
Vine.

191
00:10:46,032 --> 00:10:48,000
You stuck up for me back there.

192
00:10:48,016 --> 00:10:53,060
That's all right. That's why it's
such a shame I have to do this.

193
00:11:00,020 --> 00:11:03,024
You are so easy!
I knew it, I knew it.

194
00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:05,036
I saw it in your face. Oh, really?

195
00:11:05,048 --> 00:11:08,028
Did you? This face, or this one?

196
00:11:12,064 --> 00:11:14,056
I hate you.

197
00:11:14,068 --> 00:11:18,016
I select tweedy old woman detective.

198
00:11:18,032 --> 00:11:22,004
Her spinsterly cunning
should prove a worthy adversary.

199
00:11:22,016 --> 00:11:23,016
Bring it on.

200
00:11:23,032 --> 00:11:27,040
'Hello, dear. Why don't you have a
lovely slice of shortbread

201
00:11:27,056 --> 00:11:30,096
'and then let's talk about
this frightful Scrane business.'

202
00:11:31,016 --> 00:11:35,068
Trying to disarm me with your sweet
little old lady routine, are you?

203
00:11:35,084 --> 00:11:38,072
It won't work see because...
Oh, angel cake!

204
00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:40,096
Select detective.

205
00:11:41,016 --> 00:11:45,024
Well, here's the thing.
I'm torn between misogynist
Cockney and suave Belgian.

206
00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:47,040
Could you do me half-and-half,
like a pizza?

207
00:11:47,048 --> 00:11:49,004
Merging detectives.

208
00:11:49,020 --> 00:11:52,032
'Monsieur, when I apply order and
method to this mystery,

209
00:11:52,048 --> 00:11:54,088
'it's clear that
you should sing, you slag!'

210
00:11:55,004 --> 00:11:56,072
You ain't got nothing on me,
mon brave.

211
00:11:56,088 --> 00:11:59,044
Je ne dis rien jusqu'a ce que
je voie mon avocat.

212
00:11:59,056 --> 00:12:01,076
'Pull the other one.'

213
00:12:01,088 --> 00:12:04,000
I think it's Mr York.

214
00:12:04,012 --> 00:12:06,032
He's got a suspicious swagger.

215
00:12:06,044 --> 00:12:08,044
Mr York is good.

216
00:12:08,060 --> 00:12:12,056
Oh, Sandstrom, I know you have
certain feelings for him.

217
00:12:12,072 --> 00:12:15,052
I want him to... hold me.

218
00:12:15,064 --> 00:12:17,092
Aah, tender feelings.

219
00:12:18,008 --> 00:12:20,084
Then hump me
over the antimatter coils.

220
00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:23,048
Right. But for this sake
of the ship,

221
00:12:23,064 --> 00:12:26,048
you really shouldn't let those
gentle emotions...

222
00:12:26,064 --> 00:12:28,056
Then, spanking begins.

223
00:12:28,072 --> 00:12:30,084
Oh, what's the point, you
disgusting robo-tart.

224
00:12:30,096 --> 00:12:32,032
Horn now. Urrgh!

225
00:12:32,044 --> 00:12:33,072
SHE SNORTS

226
00:12:35,016 --> 00:12:37,012
No, not again, no!

227
00:12:37,024 --> 00:12:39,028
Horn now! Please go away.

228
00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:39,088
Horn now!

229
00:12:43,092 --> 00:12:46,084
By my calculation, that puts us more
or less back on schedule.

230
00:12:47,032 --> 00:12:49,000
Brilliant. Oh, oh!

231
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:53,076
Why would anything on this
ship need to be so high?

232
00:12:53,092 --> 00:12:56,072
This gantry has no railing, York.

233
00:12:56,084 --> 00:12:58,084
No. You go first.

234
00:13:00,076 --> 00:13:03,020
I'll be right behind you.

235
00:13:03,052 --> 00:13:04,088
It's you.

236
00:13:06,052 --> 00:13:08,040
You're the traitor.

237
00:13:08,052 --> 00:13:11,016
Oh, commander.

238
00:13:11,028 --> 00:13:14,052
Commander, commander, commander.

239
00:13:14,068 --> 00:13:18,056
Do you honestly think after all these
years that we've known each other,

240
00:13:18,076 --> 00:13:22,044
I would lure you to the most secluded
section of the ship,

241
00:13:22,060 --> 00:13:25,016
with one only one easily-disabled
security camera...

242
00:13:25,032 --> 00:13:27,020
And throw you...

243
00:13:27,032 --> 00:13:32,000
All the way down there...

244
00:13:34,060 --> 00:13:36,036
Like this. York!

245
00:13:36,048 --> 00:13:37,092
Please!

246
00:13:38,004 --> 00:13:39,044
You're my best mate. Let me go.

247
00:13:39,056 --> 00:13:41,036
I need to do a wee.

248
00:13:41,048 --> 00:13:42,096
Commander.

249
00:13:43,008 --> 00:13:44,092
I think if I'd wanted to kill you,

250
00:13:45,008 --> 00:13:47,012
I wouldn't have caught you
just then, would I?

251
00:13:47,024 --> 00:13:48,056
No.

252
00:13:48,068 --> 00:13:50,068
Are you all right, Commander?

253
00:13:50,084 --> 00:13:52,076
Are you sure?
You look a little bit peaky.

254
00:13:52,088 --> 00:13:54,084
I know the very thing.

255
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:57,000
Its salady fruitiness
will revive you.

256
00:13:57,016 --> 00:13:59,080
Banato?

257
00:13:59,092 --> 00:14:02,000
Anything except Gestapo officer.

258
00:14:02,012 --> 00:14:04,048
'I think you said Gestapo officer.'

259
00:14:04,060 --> 00:14:06,084
Talk, Britisher!

260
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:08,072
I don't know
anything about the Scrane.

261
00:14:08,084 --> 00:14:10,048
And I said anything but Gestapo.

262
00:14:10,060 --> 00:14:13,044
Liar, liar, liar!

263
00:14:18,048 --> 00:14:20,084
Inside this envelope

264
00:14:20,096 --> 00:14:24,024
is the identity of the traitor.

265
00:14:26,008 --> 00:14:28,008
Quite exciting, isn't it, really?

266
00:14:29,064 --> 00:14:31,016
All right, get back.

267
00:14:35,072 --> 00:14:38,088
Error 605. Culprit not found.

268
00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:41,028
Good, so we're all innocent.

269
00:14:41,044 --> 00:14:44,064
No. This programme is just a lie
detector with a fancy interface.

270
00:14:44,080 --> 00:14:47,032
Maybe the traitor thinks
they're innocent.

271
00:14:47,048 --> 00:14:51,016
Sorry! It could be that the traitor
is not aware that he is a traitor.

272
00:14:51,036 --> 00:14:53,088
The perfect liars are liars
who do not know they lie.

273
00:14:54,004 --> 00:14:55,080
So what made them do it? Anyone?

274
00:14:55,096 --> 00:14:59,092
Subliminal orders. Sent through
some sort of machine perhaps.

275
00:15:00,004 --> 00:15:01,060
Some device.

276
00:15:01,072 --> 00:15:04,004
MUFFLED: Oh, ho! Roast lamb.

277
00:15:04,016 --> 00:15:05,092
Oi, how long have you have that?

278
00:15:06,004 --> 00:15:07,084
Two weeks. Where did you get it?

279
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:10,032
I won it in a competition.
What was it about?

280
00:15:10,048 --> 00:15:13,036
I can't remember! So how does
the flavour code work, Vine?

281
00:15:13,052 --> 00:15:16,056
Strawberry daiquiri means
give your position to the enemy?

282
00:15:16,072 --> 00:15:18,048
Banoffi pie means sell your soul?

283
00:15:18,064 --> 00:15:20,092
Hey, you think it's me, don't you?
Jeffers.

284
00:15:21,008 --> 00:15:23,044
Tell him it's not me.
You are a bit of a loner.

285
00:15:23,064 --> 00:15:28,012
You keep yourself to yourself.
Hang him high!
Hey, it's just a mouth player.

286
00:15:28,032 --> 00:15:32,068
Here, have a lick. And turn
into you? Not to mention
the hygiene implications.

287
00:15:32,084 --> 00:15:35,056
You are a good mate, Dave.
So I'll make this easy for you.

288
00:15:35,072 --> 00:15:37,040
Mr York, shoot him.

289
00:15:37,052 --> 00:15:40,032
Oh, really? Gently.

290
00:15:40,044 --> 00:15:42,056
Take him to the cube.

291
00:15:44,052 --> 00:15:47,056
Vine. Hi, Vine.

292
00:15:47,068 --> 00:15:49,048
'Look - a tortoise!

293
00:15:49,064 --> 00:15:53,088
'He's very slow
but he's awfully wise!'

294
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:56,004
Hello.

295
00:15:56,016 --> 00:15:58,004
It's Miss Teal.

296
00:15:58,024 --> 00:16:03,040
I've come to give you
a bit of support before your certain
conviction and public drowning.

297
00:16:03,056 --> 00:16:06,068
OK, I'm sending something
under the door now, Vine.

298
00:16:06,088 --> 00:16:10,056
You can do the jumbo crossword but
please leave the prize wordsearch.

299
00:16:10,072 --> 00:16:12,068
OK?

300
00:16:12,084 --> 00:16:15,064
There's a sparkly pen
which you will not chew.

301
00:16:17,048 --> 00:16:21,008
Yes, robot,
we have triumphed once again.

302
00:16:21,020 --> 00:16:23,076
Thanks to hope and courage,

303
00:16:23,092 --> 00:16:29,060
which combine to form the still
stronger force of horage.

304
00:16:34,052 --> 00:16:36,032
Horage.

305
00:16:49,032 --> 00:16:50,084
Commander...

306
00:16:59,056 --> 00:17:03,052
Commander? It cannot be!

307
00:17:03,064 --> 00:17:05,004
It be.

308
00:17:09,076 --> 00:17:12,072
Oh, Jeffers!
The commander, he's the one.

309
00:17:12,088 --> 00:17:15,092
I know you like him, Teal,
but you can't wait forever.

310
00:17:16,008 --> 00:17:21,064
No! He is the one!

311
00:17:21,076 --> 00:17:24,048
BOTH: Oh!

312
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:32,032
Stand by.

313
00:17:39,052 --> 00:17:43,072
This is operative 12 sending
convoy location. Hail the Scrane!

314
00:17:54,008 --> 00:17:55,096
Attention all crew.

315
00:17:56,008 --> 00:17:57,048
Prepare to be boarded.

316
00:17:57,060 --> 00:18:00,092
Offer no resistance or you will die.

317
00:18:01,004 --> 00:18:03,048
Bow to the Scrane!

318
00:18:12,020 --> 00:18:15,088
No, no, no - it's me, it's Chloe...

319
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:17,064
Teal. Big truck.

320
00:18:17,076 --> 00:18:19,048
Womanzilla.

321
00:18:19,060 --> 00:18:21,084
Womanzilla. Yeah.

322
00:18:21,096 --> 00:18:23,072
They're controlling me.

323
00:18:23,084 --> 00:18:26,008
It's so hard to fight it.

324
00:18:26,020 --> 00:18:29,016
Please - kill me. I don't want to!

325
00:18:29,028 --> 00:18:31,036
Change the setting to kill.

326
00:18:31,052 --> 00:18:36,076
If you've ever cared about me, this
ship or planet Earth, you'll do it.

327
00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:40,016
Good girl.

328
00:18:40,032 --> 00:18:43,000
First of all I have to know
what I mean to you.

329
00:18:46,060 --> 00:18:52,072
The biggest regret of my life
is that we will never have
a family together.

330
00:18:52,088 --> 00:18:56,028
Really? I love you, Chloe, so much.

331
00:18:58,008 --> 00:19:01,008
Ohhh! Goodbye, Michael. Goodbye.

332
00:19:01,024 --> 00:19:04,068
You can't just say nice things to
girls cos you want them to kill you.

333
00:19:04,088 --> 00:19:08,056
You have to mean it. Take orders
for once! I don't want to now!

334
00:19:08,076 --> 00:19:13,052
You're so naughty. Shoot me,
you cow! I am not a cow. You...

335
00:19:23,012 --> 00:19:27,088
How are you doing this?
How are you controlling me?!

336
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,032
Release.

337
00:19:30,044 --> 00:19:33,012
Yes, Michael Henderson.

338
00:19:33,024 --> 00:19:36,080
Look upon the face of your master.

339
00:19:38,036 --> 00:19:41,016
Captain Helix! Actually, no.

340
00:19:41,028 --> 00:19:45,072
The acclaimed actor of stage
and screen Gareth Stannis? No.

341
00:19:45,088 --> 00:19:49,024
My real name is Scrane Orovik.

342
00:19:49,044 --> 00:19:55,000
You see, 30 years ago,
I learned of top-secret British plans
for a super weapon.

343
00:19:55,016 --> 00:19:56,092
I knew we must have it.

344
00:19:57,008 --> 00:20:00,096
So, in a series of
painful operations, I transformed

345
00:20:01,012 --> 00:20:06,008
my handsome Scrane face into the
hideous human visage you now see.

346
00:20:06,024 --> 00:20:09,004
I began a career as a human actor.

347
00:20:09,016 --> 00:20:11,052
Oh, the years of struggle.

348
00:20:11,068 --> 00:20:14,052
A touring play
about a middle-aged novelist.

349
00:20:14,068 --> 00:20:18,052
My one-man Little Dorrit.
Oh, that's a very brave choice.

350
00:20:18,068 --> 00:20:21,004
Thank you.
Until finally, I was allowed to

351
00:20:21,020 --> 00:20:27,088
create a special vehicle for my
unique talents - Captain Helix.

352
00:20:28,008 --> 00:20:34,000
At this point, we chose an
impressionable, unhappy human child,

353
00:20:34,016 --> 00:20:37,040
and used the program
to control his mind.

354
00:20:37,060 --> 00:20:39,092
All this to control me
all this time?

355
00:20:40,004 --> 00:20:42,024
Yes.

356
00:20:42,036 --> 00:20:44,076
And was Robot in on this?

357
00:20:44,092 --> 00:20:51,024
Um, Robot is just a prop
made of light bulbs and dustbins.

358
00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:54,016
He always felt so real to me!

359
00:20:54,028 --> 00:20:56,028
My acting brought him to life.

360
00:20:56,040 --> 00:20:57,080
HE SCOFFS

361
00:20:57,096 --> 00:21:03,024
Since the age of 13, you have
responded to my subliminal messages,

362
00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:07,000
messages we update
each time you buy a new box set.

363
00:21:07,016 --> 00:21:10,048
Thus he has actually paid
for his own demise.

364
00:21:10,064 --> 00:21:15,028
I made you join Space Force. I made
you volunteer for this mission.

365
00:21:15,044 --> 00:21:17,016
I made you give away your position.

366
00:21:17,036 --> 00:21:22,024
You would have let me board on
the first attack if you'd watched
season three in the correct order.

367
00:21:22,044 --> 00:21:28,008
Yes, it hurts, doesn't it,
to know it's all your fault?

368
00:21:28,024 --> 00:21:30,044
You killed Skydancer
and Fruitloops!

369
00:21:30,060 --> 00:21:34,012
Oh, it's worse than that. Air screen.

370
00:21:36,032 --> 00:21:39,088
My minions are aligning the weapon
at its first target,

371
00:21:40,004 --> 00:21:43,008
a star I think you know well.

372
00:21:49,044 --> 00:21:52,004
All look a bit the same to me,
if I'm being honest.

373
00:21:52,020 --> 00:21:53,092
It's your sun, you div!

374
00:21:54,004 --> 00:21:55,052
Is it? Oh, yes.

375
00:21:55,064 --> 00:21:58,052
Soon it will be extinguished.

376
00:21:58,068 --> 00:22:06,000
In hours, Britain will freeze
and that gun will be unique and mine.

377
00:22:06,016 --> 00:22:11,056
Now, I want you to tell them to fire.

378
00:22:13,012 --> 00:22:15,020
Never.

379
00:22:15,032 --> 00:22:17,028
Horage.

380
00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:18,076
Fire!

381
00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:32,016
You've been a good slave, Henderson.

382
00:22:32,028 --> 00:22:33,076
Just one more task.

383
00:22:33,088 --> 00:22:36,096
Kill your friends then yourself.

384
00:22:41,024 --> 00:22:42,032
(I'm sorry.)

385
00:22:45,024 --> 00:22:49,036
Oh, you're trying to fight it,
aren't you? But you can't.

386
00:22:49,052 --> 00:22:53,084
You must do what
Captain Helix wants you to.

387
00:22:56,072 --> 00:23:00,032
Yes, I must.

388
00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:06,024
Oh, Commander, that was majestic.

389
00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:10,048
How did you do it? Well, I just did
what Captain Helix would want me to.

390
00:23:10,064 --> 00:23:13,048
Not him. The one I grew up with.

391
00:23:13,060 --> 00:23:15,016
You know, I knew it was a lie,

392
00:23:15,032 --> 00:23:18,060
but I just took that hunk of a lie
and I made it the truth.

393
00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:22,012
Commander, perhaps we'd better
destroy the gun and save the world.

394
00:23:22,028 --> 00:23:25,048
Er, yes, do that. Saving.

395
00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:40,028
CAPTAIN HELIX COUGHS

396
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:51,040
Look, I know you're evil,
but I just wanted you to know

397
00:23:51,056 --> 00:23:54,068
that you were the nearest thing
to a father I ever had...

398
00:23:54,084 --> 00:24:00,068
apart from Dad, of course.
You little bastard!

399
00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:02,064
You killed me.

400
00:24:02,076 --> 00:24:04,072
Call yourself a fan?

401
00:24:06,028 --> 00:24:08,068
You were a great actor.

402
00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:10,044
Was I?

403
00:24:10,056 --> 00:24:14,028
I wasn't too hammy?

404
00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:17,080
No, you were perfect.

405
00:24:17,092 --> 00:24:20,016
Do it for me, will you?

406
00:24:20,032 --> 00:24:24,016
Do the captain one last time.
Hey, look!

407
00:24:24,028 --> 00:24:26,056
Hey, I've got this little guy.

408
00:24:38,096 --> 00:24:44,072
Robot... I'm going on
my final journey now.

409
00:24:46,028 --> 00:24:49,016
A journey I must take alone.

410
00:24:50,072 --> 00:24:53,084
Remember me to the acolytes of Thran!

411
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:57,096
Hey, hey, sorry,
but it's actually Thral.

412
00:24:58,012 --> 00:25:00,048
D'you know if they're gonna do
a fifth series?

413
00:25:00,060 --> 00:25:04,000
Farewell...friend.

414
00:25:06,068 --> 00:25:10,040
Is that enough? Yeah. Good.

415
00:25:10,052 --> 00:25:14,092
You won't be needing this any more.

416
00:25:42,032 --> 00:25:44,056
Oh, Commander,

417
00:25:44,072 --> 00:25:47,076
are we still feeling
a bit down, are we?

418
00:25:47,088 --> 00:25:49,064
You could say that, yeah.

419
00:25:49,084 --> 00:25:54,000
Well, what with you killing
your childhood hero
and your whole life being a lie...

420
00:25:54,016 --> 00:25:56,092
Still, it may never happen.
Oh, well, it has happened.

421
00:25:57,008 --> 00:26:00,096
But it's very unlikely to happen
again, so that's good.

422
00:26:01,012 --> 00:26:06,048
I just...
I don't know who I am any more. Aw.

423
00:26:06,060 --> 00:26:08,032
You know?

424
00:26:08,044 --> 00:26:12,012
Thank you. Maybe I need to find out.

425
00:26:14,032 --> 00:26:16,028
I'm handing in my notice.

426
00:26:16,044 --> 00:26:19,004
Commander, Betelgeusian
genital eaters of Zizazee

427
00:26:19,020 --> 00:26:21,040
have attacked
the British base on Waywawee.

428
00:26:21,052 --> 00:26:23,044
Let's go, yeah?

429
00:26:23,056 --> 00:26:25,036
Stop. I made it up.

430
00:26:25,048 --> 00:26:27,080
Betelgeusian genital eaters...!

431
00:26:27,096 --> 00:26:32,072
Why would you do that?
I got the...the tingle.

432
00:26:32,092 --> 00:26:38,060
To show you. To show you that
this is your calling.

433
00:26:38,076 --> 00:26:41,040
This is where you belong.

434
00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:46,048
This is who you are.

435
00:26:50,084 --> 00:26:54,028
Except the Space Marshall is certain
to sack you, so it's academic.

436
00:26:56,088 --> 00:26:58,028
Banato?

437
00:27:03,004 --> 00:27:05,052
Anderson, come straight to Earth.

438
00:27:05,064 --> 00:27:07,020
For my court martial?

439
00:27:07,032 --> 00:27:11,032
For the parade. You're our hero, man!

440
00:27:11,048 --> 00:27:14,068
Saving the world from that
Scrane gun!

441
00:27:14,080 --> 00:27:16,076
No, hang on, that was actually...

442
00:27:16,088 --> 00:27:21,000
A Scrane gun. Scrane gun.

443
00:27:21,016 --> 00:27:24,024
Those evil, evil Scrane,
making such a horrific weapon.

444
00:27:24,036 --> 00:27:25,060
Strike a pose!

445
00:27:25,076 --> 00:27:29,012
Capture. There,
that's the statue for the Mall.

446
00:27:29,032 --> 00:27:32,032
I've hired an open-top hoverbus
through London.

447
00:27:32,048 --> 00:27:35,000
Bring a Scrane corpse.
We'll throw it to the crowd.

448
00:27:35,016 --> 00:27:37,012
They can tear it apart.
Fun for the kids.

449
00:27:37,028 --> 00:27:39,072
And then dinner with the King. King?!

450
00:27:39,088 --> 00:27:44,016
Well, the list is quite tight
for that one, actually.

451
00:27:44,032 --> 00:27:46,040
This man has just saved
planet Earth.

452
00:27:46,052 --> 00:27:48,008
You invite him, you beast!

453
00:27:48,024 --> 00:27:50,016
This is going to
your head, Henderson.

454
00:27:50,028 --> 00:27:51,076
I'm not sure I like the new you.

455
00:27:53,068 --> 00:27:58,004
Incredible. You really are amazing,
aren't you? I know.

456
00:27:58,020 --> 00:28:01,096
I know. Oh, congratulations.
Thank you very much.

457
00:28:02,012 --> 00:28:06,052
I can't... I can't get over it.

458
00:28:08,060 --> 00:28:11,040
Crew of the Camden Lock,
we're heading home.

459
00:28:11,052 --> 00:28:12,096
You're all heroes.

460
00:28:13,012 --> 00:28:16,036
I want everyone to take
the afternoon off work.

461
00:28:16,048 --> 00:28:18,068
Yeah!

462
00:28:20,032 --> 00:28:23,084
Ah. Hey, hey, what...?

463
00:28:27,004 --> 00:28:29,052
Temperature falling,
oxygen depleting.

464
00:28:29,068 --> 00:28:34,084
Um, everyone except those that work
in life support. Heather?

465
00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:37,044
Paolo?

466
00:28:37,056 --> 00:28:40,048
Guys?

467
00:28:40,060 --> 00:28:42,036
Anyone?

468
00:28:42,052 --> 00:28:46,052
Control room temperature will reach
absolute zero in 48 seconds.

469
00:28:48,028 --> 00:28:49,080
HE SIGHS HEAVILY

470
00:29:14,056 --> 00:29:16,076
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

471
00:29:18,036 --> 00:29:18,044
E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk