1 00:00:54,046 --> 00:00:55,365 Thank you. 2 00:01:14,646 --> 00:01:17,956 Barry! You're looking florid. 3 00:01:18,126 --> 00:01:21,198 - Florid or horrid? I'm not sure. - Both, I think. 4 00:01:21,366 --> 00:01:24,483 - Hello, Madeline. - Sorry about last time. I'd had... 5 00:01:24,646 --> 00:01:27,604 No problem. Come through. Coffee's just brewed. 6 00:01:27,766 --> 00:01:30,405 Make yourselves at home. 7 00:01:33,246 --> 00:01:37,842 I love this... to bits! 8 00:01:38,006 --> 00:01:40,042 What is it? Some kind of...? 9 00:01:40,206 --> 00:01:45,234 From the old village hall at Chetsford. Saved it from the wrecking ball. 10 00:01:45,406 --> 00:01:46,805 Amazing! 11 00:01:47,006 --> 00:01:50,282 - Isn't there...? - Something missing? 12 00:01:50,486 --> 00:01:54,479 One of life's ironies, I'm afraid. I spend my life collecting clocks, 13 00:01:54,646 --> 00:01:58,241 - then marry someone temporophobic. - Temporary what? 14 00:01:58,446 --> 00:02:02,917 - Fear of time. - More accurately, fear of time passing. 15 00:02:03,086 --> 00:02:06,078 The feeling that the years are hurtling past. 16 00:02:06,286 --> 00:02:09,039 With Norman, it's an almost clinical neurosis. 17 00:02:10,606 --> 00:02:16,636 He can't relax at all, with minutes, seconds, visibly ticking by around him - 18 00:02:16,926 --> 00:02:20,521 a morbid reminder that his life is slowly ebbing away. 19 00:02:20,726 --> 00:02:23,399 I get that watching televised snooker. 20 00:02:43,366 --> 00:02:47,484 I hope Barry's passed on our excitement at your manuscript. 21 00:02:47,646 --> 00:02:51,559 It could revitalise the true crime market. 22 00:02:51,726 --> 00:02:54,604 Magic and mystery. Houdini meets whodunnits. 23 00:02:54,766 --> 00:02:58,725 Let me feed you a few ideas from our art department. 24 00:03:02,206 --> 00:03:04,720 - Who's this? - That's just one idea. 25 00:03:05,446 --> 00:03:09,234 Or he could be black... to give it a more ethnic tone. 26 00:03:09,446 --> 00:03:11,880 - Who could be? - The magician, Jonathan Creek. 27 00:03:13,086 --> 00:03:16,237 He's not a magician. He works for a magician. 28 00:03:16,406 --> 00:03:19,557 He's not black and doesn't look like that. 29 00:03:19,726 --> 00:03:22,957 - I'm sorry, I... - There may be some confusion here. 30 00:03:24,766 --> 00:03:27,838 You're saying there's actually a real Jonathan Creek? 31 00:03:29,646 --> 00:03:32,399 He's not just a narrative conceit? 32 00:03:32,606 --> 00:03:36,155 All that stuff... He invents all those tricks. 33 00:03:36,366 --> 00:03:39,324 And he lives in a windmill. It's all for real. 34 00:03:40,966 --> 00:03:44,356 Right. Isn't that funny? 35 00:03:44,846 --> 00:03:48,600 - What? - Suddenly, I find him less believable. 36 00:03:58,206 --> 00:04:01,801 I'm not sure we can allow this as a business expense. 37 00:04:01,966 --> 00:04:05,322 2nd April '95, bill for emergency plumber? 38 00:04:06,326 --> 00:04:08,715 Oh, that was a routine - 39 00:04:08,886 --> 00:04:12,515 a rabbit in a washing machine turns into an angora sweater. 40 00:04:12,686 --> 00:04:14,677 Slightly ballsed up the timing. 41 00:04:19,526 --> 00:04:22,199 Five to five and I'm barely half way. 42 00:04:22,366 --> 00:04:27,315 Which would you prefer? I come back tomorrow or... shall we keep at it? 43 00:04:31,406 --> 00:04:35,001 OK. Where will I find the invoice for this one? 44 00:04:36,566 --> 00:04:40,639 Try the previous tax year. It's in that case, I think. 45 00:04:54,206 --> 00:04:56,276 No, you have to... 46 00:05:08,686 --> 00:05:13,077 Well, there we are, Mad. That's why I'll never be a great publisher, 47 00:05:13,246 --> 00:05:17,797 because I can't say things like, "His existence poses a credibility hurdle. " 48 00:05:17,966 --> 00:05:22,323 Or roughly translated, "Jonathan Creek is beyond belief. " 49 00:05:22,486 --> 00:05:26,718 - Things on the turn with you two? - Oh, I don't know. 50 00:05:26,886 --> 00:05:31,880 It's that we never actually do anything, but still don't feel single. 51 00:05:32,046 --> 00:05:36,244 As a result, we both deny ourselves sex with other partners. 52 00:05:36,406 --> 00:05:41,116 I mean, I'm not that fussed, but I just don't think it's fair on Jonathan, 53 00:05:41,286 --> 00:05:44,403 to feel he has to save himself for me. 54 00:05:49,926 --> 00:05:52,394 Tell me to stop now! 55 00:06:11,246 --> 00:06:14,318 Who'd have thought that was going to happen? 56 00:06:15,886 --> 00:06:18,639 Life's full of surprises. 57 00:07:06,246 --> 00:07:08,043 Sweetheart? 58 00:07:09,446 --> 00:07:12,165 Success on that new Tom Clancy. 59 00:07:12,326 --> 00:07:17,241 They said it wouldn't be on sale on this side of the pond for three months... 60 00:07:19,806 --> 00:07:22,479 Antonia. What's wrong? 61 00:07:24,446 --> 00:07:29,201 Nothing, I hope. I got some chilli in my eyes. 62 00:07:30,646 --> 00:07:35,845 - How was New York? - Usual round of lunches, meetings, cabs. 63 00:07:36,006 --> 00:07:38,201 - What's going on? - Mr...? 64 00:07:38,366 --> 00:07:40,277 Lewis French. 65 00:07:40,446 --> 00:07:44,837 Mr French works in a burger restaurant in Bishop's Stortford. 66 00:07:45,006 --> 00:07:46,997 He's brought your wallet back. 67 00:07:47,166 --> 00:07:50,636 Found it under a table. I could've posted it, 68 00:07:50,806 --> 00:07:53,479 but you don't know what can happen, so... 69 00:07:53,646 --> 00:07:55,637 Right. No. 70 00:07:57,166 --> 00:07:59,964 Gosh, that's really splendid of you. 71 00:08:00,126 --> 00:08:03,914 You lose something like this, you never know if you'll see it again. 72 00:08:04,126 --> 00:08:06,481 The biggest mystery is how it got there. 73 00:08:06,686 --> 00:08:10,918 No, Norman. That is not the biggest mystery. 74 00:08:11,126 --> 00:08:14,038 - I'm sorry? - You dropped it, Mr Stangerson. 75 00:08:14,246 --> 00:08:18,125 Yesterday morning, when you came in for breakfast about 9.15. 76 00:08:19,286 --> 00:08:23,837 You had a quarter-pounder with fries to eat in and sat by the door. 77 00:08:25,246 --> 00:08:28,158 I think that's a little unlikely, Mr French. 78 00:08:28,366 --> 00:08:33,838 At 9.15 yesterday, I was asleep in bed in a hotel in Manhattan. 79 00:08:34,566 --> 00:08:41,085 Now, whoever found this wallet or stole it before I left five days ago... 80 00:08:42,326 --> 00:08:44,965 I don't know... Maybe they looked like me... 81 00:08:45,166 --> 00:08:50,798 Maybe I should get a new guide dog. It was you. Don't try and freak me. 82 00:08:50,966 --> 00:08:56,404 - I saw you as plain as I see you now. - All right. Thank you for your honesty 83 00:08:56,606 --> 00:08:58,642 and for coming all this way. 84 00:09:08,086 --> 00:09:10,077 I don't forget faces 85 00:09:10,246 --> 00:09:13,556 or a guy who spills hot coffee over his foot. 86 00:09:13,726 --> 00:09:15,717 I had to clean it up. 87 00:09:18,126 --> 00:09:21,880 Check him out. Unless your husband's got a twin brother, 88 00:09:22,046 --> 00:09:25,436 no way was he in New York Thursday morning. 89 00:09:42,526 --> 00:09:44,517 Justine Bailey's office. 90 00:09:46,366 --> 00:09:49,642 She's in a meeting right now. Can I take a mess...? 91 00:09:49,806 --> 00:09:51,205 Sorry? 92 00:09:52,326 --> 00:09:56,035 OK, relax. Relax. I'll go check. 93 00:10:04,326 --> 00:10:07,045 Mr Stangerson's wife in England. 94 00:10:07,206 --> 00:10:10,278 It sounds like her colon's just exploded. 95 00:10:11,766 --> 00:10:14,155 Thank you, Bernice. 96 00:10:19,166 --> 00:10:22,238 Mrs Stangerson, how are you? 97 00:10:24,366 --> 00:10:26,357 Pardon me? 98 00:10:26,926 --> 00:10:31,124 Of course he's been here all week. What a strange question. 99 00:10:34,446 --> 00:10:39,281 Did this man's voice sound muffled, like it was coming from another orifice? 100 00:10:39,446 --> 00:10:43,325 Thursday, 9.15 would have been 4.15 here. 101 00:10:43,486 --> 00:10:49,277 Wednesday night, Jack and Ted and I had dinner with Norman till about 1.30. 102 00:10:49,486 --> 00:10:54,560 Next morning, he showed up bright as a button when we opened at nine. 103 00:10:54,726 --> 00:10:58,958 What can say? He was sitting where Carol is now, eating a bagel, 104 00:10:59,166 --> 00:11:02,920 beneath the clock so he doesn't have to see the hands. 105 00:11:03,606 --> 00:11:08,760 No problem. Give him our love, and we'll see him again Tuesday. Bye. 106 00:11:13,646 --> 00:11:15,921 Was that a weird one or what? 107 00:11:16,646 --> 00:11:19,035 She says that someone saw Norman in London. 108 00:11:44,566 --> 00:11:46,557 Are you OK? 109 00:11:46,726 --> 00:11:49,035 Yes. I'm fine. 110 00:11:57,846 --> 00:12:01,475 What's happened to your foot. It looks like it's been scalded. 111 00:12:01,646 --> 00:12:05,400 Right. You know, I may sue that hotel. 112 00:12:05,566 --> 00:12:08,444 Those showers are a death trap. 113 00:12:13,686 --> 00:12:19,238 So, what are we saying? Somehow, your husband managed to leave his hotel 114 00:12:19,446 --> 00:12:23,359 in New York in the middle of the night, 115 00:12:23,526 --> 00:12:27,883 fly all the way to England to buy a hamburger, 116 00:12:28,086 --> 00:12:34,321 then fly back in time for a breakfast meeting, all in the space of seven hours. 117 00:12:34,486 --> 00:12:37,239 Who was the pilot? Father Christmas? 118 00:12:37,406 --> 00:12:40,000 Well, it's not humanly possible... 119 00:12:40,686 --> 00:12:44,565 unless he's somehow managed to defy the laws of time. 120 00:12:45,246 --> 00:12:49,034 I don't see your problem. There's people he's known for years 121 00:12:49,206 --> 00:12:53,518 who were with him till he went to bed, then again the next morning. 122 00:12:53,686 --> 00:12:57,998 There was just... I don't know... such certainty in his voice. 123 00:12:58,166 --> 00:13:01,795 When Norman suggested he was mistaken, he went mad. 124 00:13:02,886 --> 00:13:08,165 And that story about spilling coffee? How could he know about that scald mark? 125 00:13:08,326 --> 00:13:11,762 So, how often does he go to New York? 126 00:13:12,566 --> 00:13:15,399 Two or three times a month is average. 127 00:13:16,086 --> 00:13:20,602 What with my work taking me away, our moments together are very precious. 128 00:13:20,766 --> 00:13:24,475 - We've only been married 18 months. - You're kidding?! 129 00:13:24,646 --> 00:13:29,879 We met late in life. We'd both had everlasting relationships. 130 00:13:30,046 --> 00:13:34,597 And I've got to ask, no brothers who are the spitting image? 131 00:13:35,646 --> 00:13:37,796 Norman's an only child like me. 132 00:13:38,006 --> 00:13:41,840 Mmm... Let me do some digging, see what I can turn up. 133 00:13:42,046 --> 00:13:45,277 In fact, I wouldn't mind a shufti around his room. 134 00:13:45,446 --> 00:13:47,755 Will you, um... get our lunch on? 135 00:14:33,046 --> 00:14:35,037 You won't get it to stand up. 136 00:14:36,566 --> 00:14:39,478 - Sorry? - This man's story. 137 00:14:39,646 --> 00:14:43,036 Didn't my wife tell you? I don't even eat red meat. 138 00:14:43,206 --> 00:14:46,755 Why on earth would I be buying a hamburger? 139 00:14:50,046 --> 00:14:52,799 Norman and I have no secrets from each other. 140 00:14:52,966 --> 00:14:55,924 It was his suggestion to call you in. 141 00:14:56,086 --> 00:14:59,158 What do you think? An innocent mistake? 142 00:14:59,326 --> 00:15:02,363 Someone deliberately impersonating me for some reason? 143 00:15:02,566 --> 00:15:05,524 - Only time will tell, I suppose. - Time... 144 00:15:05,686 --> 00:15:09,201 spilling through our fingers, Madeline, with every heartbeat. 145 00:15:09,366 --> 00:15:15,202 Even as we stand here doing absolutely nothing, our lives, existence, 146 00:15:15,366 --> 00:15:19,678 everything is being voraciously consumed. 147 00:15:19,846 --> 00:15:22,406 Time can never be reclaimed. 148 00:15:22,566 --> 00:15:24,397 Where is it? 149 00:15:24,566 --> 00:15:28,354 Where does the past go when it's no longer the present? 150 00:15:29,406 --> 00:15:32,762 Yes, can we skip metaphysical discourse and strain the carrots? 151 00:15:38,686 --> 00:15:40,836 This wallet he brought back, 152 00:15:41,006 --> 00:15:45,045 you reckon you lost it at the airport or it could have been stolen. 153 00:15:45,206 --> 00:15:49,836 And yet when it turned up at that burger joint, nothing had been taken. 154 00:15:50,006 --> 00:15:54,204 Well, my credit cards I keep with my passport. 155 00:15:54,366 --> 00:15:58,200 The rest is pretty supplementary. Nothing of value. 156 00:15:58,406 --> 00:16:01,284 Stangerson and Porthropp, that your company? 157 00:16:01,446 --> 00:16:06,156 Was my company. Our company. Computer graphic design. 158 00:16:06,326 --> 00:16:08,317 Mel Porthropp and I, 159 00:16:08,486 --> 00:16:12,559 spent nine years carving out our own share of the market, 160 00:16:12,726 --> 00:16:16,275 till the recession drew blood and we had to fold. 161 00:16:16,446 --> 00:16:20,439 There weren't too many openings for people with our experience. 162 00:16:20,606 --> 00:16:24,235 I was lucky to get the position of Anglo-American sales liaison 163 00:16:24,406 --> 00:16:26,442 for a software manufacturer. 164 00:16:26,606 --> 00:16:29,040 Like coming back from the dead. 165 00:16:29,206 --> 00:16:33,484 And when, a year later, I met Antonia... 166 00:16:34,206 --> 00:16:37,915 you think, "Well, the best things in life are worth waiting for. " 167 00:16:39,686 --> 00:16:42,803 So what became of your former partner Mr Porthropp? 168 00:16:42,966 --> 00:16:45,082 You know what it's like. 169 00:16:45,286 --> 00:16:50,041 You move on, form new alliances. I'm afraid we've rather lost touch. 170 00:16:50,966 --> 00:16:53,605 Well, I think this is... Hello? 171 00:17:01,686 --> 00:17:04,200 Where did that come from? 172 00:17:04,406 --> 00:17:07,637 It had been slipped inside between two cards. 173 00:17:10,006 --> 00:17:12,679 What the hell do you think it means? 174 00:17:12,886 --> 00:17:14,877 Don't know. 175 00:17:15,646 --> 00:17:18,035 But if anyone can tell us... 176 00:17:18,886 --> 00:17:21,844 At first, I thought it was some cryptic threat, 177 00:17:22,006 --> 00:17:25,555 like in that Sherlock Holmes story, "The Pictures of Matchstick Men". 178 00:17:25,726 --> 00:17:29,036 - "The Problem of the Dancing Men". - Was it? 179 00:17:29,206 --> 00:17:32,881 "Pictures of Matchstick Men" was a song by Status Quo. 180 00:17:33,046 --> 00:17:36,322 The thing is, the words themselves appear meaningless, 181 00:17:36,486 --> 00:17:39,558 but put all the initial letters together. 182 00:17:40,326 --> 00:17:42,317 "Owiktfhtsno. " 183 00:17:43,046 --> 00:17:46,118 Exactly. Total gibberish. No wonder I'm getting a migraine. 184 00:17:47,126 --> 00:17:50,323 I don't know. What do you make of it? 185 00:17:50,526 --> 00:17:51,925 Jonathan? 186 00:17:52,246 --> 00:17:55,204 - Jonathan? - I'm sorry. 187 00:17:56,126 --> 00:17:58,481 Shirty? Who's getting shirty? 188 00:17:59,246 --> 00:18:03,205 I'm just not sure it's legal, making love to a VAT inspector. 189 00:18:03,366 --> 00:18:07,996 I think you'll find that's classed as an unnatural act. Excuse me. 190 00:18:08,166 --> 00:18:12,239 It was just one of those stupid, irresistible moments. 191 00:18:12,406 --> 00:18:14,601 And on the kitchen table! 192 00:18:14,766 --> 00:18:17,644 What did you use as a contraceptive? Napkin rings? 193 00:18:18,686 --> 00:18:21,917 She made all the moves. Now I'm boxed in. 194 00:18:22,126 --> 00:18:24,196 We've got nothing whatsoever in common, 195 00:18:24,406 --> 00:18:28,843 and if I break it off, she'll think it's because of... you know what, 196 00:18:29,006 --> 00:18:31,076 which she's very sensitive about. 197 00:18:31,246 --> 00:18:34,124 I'm not surprised. Didn't you get suspicious 198 00:18:34,286 --> 00:18:39,280 when you ran your fingers through her hair and she wasn't in the room? 199 00:18:40,566 --> 00:18:44,479 I don't know why I expected any sympathy from you. 200 00:18:44,646 --> 00:18:46,762 Are we going over this Stangerson thing? 201 00:18:46,926 --> 00:18:50,965 What's to go over? I've told you all there is to tell. 202 00:18:51,126 --> 00:18:54,516 If we're on for tomorrow, I'd prefer an early night, actually. 203 00:18:55,806 --> 00:18:58,878 - I'll meet you. What time? - Nine o'clock too early? 204 00:18:59,086 --> 00:19:01,998 - Not for me. - Let's say eight, then. 205 00:19:02,206 --> 00:19:05,482 - 10.20?! Thanks. - It's a bad time of the month. 206 00:19:05,646 --> 00:19:08,922 - You said that 13 days ago. - OK! I overslept! 207 00:19:09,086 --> 00:19:11,395 Trust you to keep count. 208 00:19:14,006 --> 00:19:18,284 You know, I'm gonna have to be straight with you guys. 209 00:19:19,406 --> 00:19:21,920 I couldn't be that sure now. 210 00:19:22,206 --> 00:19:25,596 - Excuse me. - You couldn't be...?! Hang about. Lewis? 211 00:19:26,966 --> 00:19:28,445 Lewis? 212 00:19:28,606 --> 00:19:31,040 - Lewis? - Yes, can I help you? 213 00:19:37,806 --> 00:19:42,322 It's... I dunno. I had a bad day. I just wanted a fight with someone. 214 00:19:42,486 --> 00:19:46,399 It stands to reason. The guy's just got off a plane. 215 00:19:46,566 --> 00:19:49,922 - I was full of crap. - Yeah, but you said... 216 00:19:50,086 --> 00:19:55,399 Now I think about it, the guy was taller. Yeah, and older. 217 00:19:55,566 --> 00:20:00,686 Listen, you see this Mr Stangerson again, tell him I'm sorry, OK? 218 00:20:00,846 --> 00:20:03,565 For giving him a hard time. I'm sorry. 219 00:20:03,766 --> 00:20:08,794 OK. What's happened? Has someone paid you off or threatened you? You can't just... 220 00:20:09,766 --> 00:20:12,917 Yes. All right. Never seen a transvestite before? 221 00:20:13,126 --> 00:20:15,162 I don't believe this. 222 00:20:16,166 --> 00:20:18,964 No question. Thursday morning. This is the guy. 223 00:20:19,126 --> 00:20:22,596 - He sent that coffee flying. - You can't go wrong. It's him. 224 00:20:22,806 --> 00:20:25,843 - Definitely. - You're absolutely positive? 225 00:20:26,006 --> 00:20:27,485 Mmm. 226 00:20:27,646 --> 00:20:32,276 - Has he robbed a bank? - Or killed an old lady? Look at his eyes. 227 00:20:32,446 --> 00:20:35,165 I had my doubts when he came in. 228 00:20:35,366 --> 00:20:39,075 Interesting. This is a photo of Newt Gingrich, 229 00:20:39,286 --> 00:20:42,756 the speaker of the American House of Representatives. 230 00:20:44,846 --> 00:20:47,883 - Brilliant! - In our Wimpy? 231 00:20:48,086 --> 00:20:50,236 How about this man? 232 00:20:52,446 --> 00:20:53,765 Hmm... 233 00:20:54,926 --> 00:20:56,917 Yep. He was here as well... 234 00:20:57,086 --> 00:20:59,281 with this first bloke. 235 00:21:00,246 --> 00:21:02,840 Or was it just on his own? 236 00:21:03,206 --> 00:21:06,357 You know, you've got me wondering now. 237 00:21:08,846 --> 00:21:10,837 I think that proves my point. 238 00:21:11,006 --> 00:21:14,203 You go about it scientifically, the results are meaningless. 239 00:21:14,366 --> 00:21:17,403 I don't know. This all gets dodgier by the minute. 240 00:21:17,566 --> 00:21:20,638 Something happened in there, and that guy saw it. 241 00:21:20,806 --> 00:21:24,845 Only now someone's got to him to keep his mouth shut. 242 00:21:25,006 --> 00:21:26,803 Why? 243 00:21:32,686 --> 00:21:37,760 Middle-aged with glasses? I see plenty of them. What's it worth? 244 00:21:44,166 --> 00:21:48,637 He might have been... I don't know... limping or something when he left, 245 00:21:48,806 --> 00:21:51,445 like his foot was playing up. 246 00:21:51,606 --> 00:21:54,757 Oh, the fella in the window, knocked his coffee over? 247 00:21:56,406 --> 00:21:58,397 This ring any bells? 248 00:21:59,166 --> 00:22:01,805 It certainly does. 249 00:22:02,006 --> 00:22:06,284 Though Newt Gingrich would be an unlikely customer at that time. 250 00:22:08,406 --> 00:22:11,125 Now you're talking. Spot on. 251 00:22:11,846 --> 00:22:14,314 Thanks. You've been really helpful. 252 00:22:15,486 --> 00:22:17,954 To be certain, there's always the photograph. 253 00:22:18,126 --> 00:22:20,845 Yeah, I suppo... Photograph? 254 00:22:21,806 --> 00:22:24,115 See that place next door? 255 00:22:24,326 --> 00:22:29,002 Thursday morning, there's a guy from the letting agency with his camera. 256 00:22:29,206 --> 00:22:32,084 Every time he tries to take a picture, 257 00:22:32,246 --> 00:22:35,477 people keep walking through, wasting his film. 258 00:22:36,286 --> 00:22:40,438 I'll go to hell if your guy wasn't on one of them. 259 00:22:50,206 --> 00:22:53,084 Thursday morning, the photographer was in no doubt, 260 00:22:53,246 --> 00:22:56,044 between 9.30 and 10.00. 261 00:22:56,206 --> 00:22:59,482 The kind of evidence that's hard to argue with. 262 00:22:59,646 --> 00:23:03,241 Hmm... Can I have a closer look at that one? 263 00:23:04,246 --> 00:23:06,362 No, no, the wide one. 264 00:23:11,206 --> 00:23:14,835 That right you're an only child, same as your husband? 265 00:23:15,046 --> 00:23:18,641 - What's that got to do with anything? - Just curious. 266 00:23:26,526 --> 00:23:29,598 Yes, like I told his wife, I saw him last week... 267 00:23:31,046 --> 00:23:33,037 Yes, he was here last week... 268 00:23:36,406 --> 00:23:38,397 The whole week... 269 00:23:40,566 --> 00:23:42,557 Positive, absolutely... 270 00:23:43,846 --> 00:23:46,360 Thanks for your help. Thank you. 271 00:24:03,726 --> 00:24:07,958 - Jonathan Creek? - Hi. Sorry to ring in the evening. 272 00:24:08,126 --> 00:24:10,640 You're probably enjoying an intimate moment with Rebecca, 273 00:24:10,806 --> 00:24:12,842 spraying her head with beeswax or something. 274 00:24:15,246 --> 00:24:19,080 I can't talk long. I've got someone coming round, 275 00:24:19,246 --> 00:24:22,363 so lots to prepare. 276 00:24:22,526 --> 00:24:24,721 He's rather special. 277 00:24:26,006 --> 00:24:29,760 I, um... just thought I'd fill you in on New York. 278 00:24:30,726 --> 00:24:33,524 I've had a pretty thorough ring-around. 279 00:24:33,726 --> 00:24:37,560 The meal broke up at around 1.30, they all said their goodnights, 280 00:24:37,726 --> 00:24:42,595 Norman went up to his room, and he's in his office the next morning at nine. 281 00:24:42,766 --> 00:24:45,883 You want my view? It's down to some wind-up merchant. 282 00:24:46,086 --> 00:24:49,795 I think I've wasted enough time. I'm gonna drop it. 283 00:24:49,966 --> 00:24:53,595 Really? Right. Good decision. 284 00:25:03,086 --> 00:25:07,682 - Jonathan Creek? - If you've got something to say, say it. 285 00:25:07,846 --> 00:25:11,964 Suppose Norman Stangerson was planning to kill his wife? 286 00:25:13,246 --> 00:25:17,876 He flies out to New York, as per his usual business trip, 287 00:25:18,046 --> 00:25:20,560 he's gonna be gone five days... 288 00:25:20,726 --> 00:25:23,081 It'd be one hell of an alibi. 289 00:25:23,246 --> 00:25:28,001 Somehow, he manages to fool everyone, pulls off this trick with the times. 290 00:25:28,166 --> 00:25:31,954 Only while he's back here, something goes wrong... 291 00:25:33,126 --> 00:25:35,276 and the murder never takes place. 292 00:25:35,486 --> 00:25:40,640 So, what, he gives up and drives 35 miles to Bishop's Stortford for a cheeseburger? 293 00:25:41,206 --> 00:25:44,437 - I thought it was a quarter-pounder? - All right. 294 00:25:44,606 --> 00:25:48,724 A quarter-pounder with cheese. Is that of vital significance? 295 00:25:49,726 --> 00:25:52,843 Depends. You said he didn't eat red meat. 296 00:25:53,006 --> 00:25:57,761 I mean... I'm sorry. It would tax anyone's ingenuity - even yours - 297 00:25:57,926 --> 00:26:02,238 to cross the Atlantic twice between everyone going to bed and getting up. 298 00:26:02,406 --> 00:26:06,081 The guy's not Superman. Quite the reverse. 299 00:26:06,246 --> 00:26:11,639 I ask myself how I'd react if someone swore blind they'd seen me on 5th Avenue 300 00:26:11,806 --> 00:26:17,483 at 9.30am yesterday, then produced a photo of me walking past Macy's window! 301 00:26:17,646 --> 00:26:19,637 What do you think? 302 00:26:19,806 --> 00:26:25,563 It could be some sort of creepy mind game to screw up his brain. 303 00:26:27,246 --> 00:26:30,158 Jonathan? Are you still there? 304 00:26:41,966 --> 00:26:44,639 Who's doing this to me? 305 00:26:45,526 --> 00:26:47,994 Why are they doing this to me? 306 00:26:50,766 --> 00:26:54,554 God knows, we've little enough to cling onto in this life. 307 00:26:56,486 --> 00:26:58,477 But we fight it... 308 00:26:59,526 --> 00:27:01,517 together. 309 00:27:27,646 --> 00:27:30,160 - Yes? - Jonathan! How are you doing? 310 00:27:30,326 --> 00:27:33,477 Look, I just wanted to say... Oh, yes! 311 00:27:34,806 --> 00:27:39,926 Rupert, that's incredible! You beast! What are you doing to me?! 312 00:27:43,286 --> 00:27:48,235 Oh, go on. Take me. I'm powerless to resist. 313 00:27:48,446 --> 00:27:51,404 - How many men left? - Four pawns and a bishop. 314 00:27:51,606 --> 00:27:53,403 Resign. 315 00:27:55,526 --> 00:28:00,725 All right. Stangerson's former business partner in the firm that collapsed 316 00:28:00,926 --> 00:28:03,440 is the one link we haven't checked out. 317 00:28:03,606 --> 00:28:05,881 How are you fixed tomorrow? 318 00:28:06,046 --> 00:28:09,038 Right now? Not a clue, 319 00:28:09,206 --> 00:28:12,482 but how many Melvin Porthropps can be in the phone book? 320 00:28:27,006 --> 00:28:30,396 I feel I've run out of things to say. 321 00:28:31,126 --> 00:28:34,516 There's only one thing I can say that matters. 322 00:28:36,446 --> 00:28:38,437 I love you. 323 00:28:39,366 --> 00:28:43,279 I just... beg that you'll trust me. 324 00:28:45,766 --> 00:28:49,281 If I thought you were keeping something back from me... 325 00:28:50,286 --> 00:28:52,641 Would that be so terrible... 326 00:28:52,806 --> 00:28:56,560 if it was something I knew would harm you? 327 00:28:57,926 --> 00:29:00,201 What we have is so valuable... 328 00:29:00,886 --> 00:29:04,720 our time together... so short. 329 00:29:05,806 --> 00:29:07,956 Now you're frightening me. 330 00:29:08,966 --> 00:29:11,958 I must go. Check-in's at two. 331 00:29:17,726 --> 00:29:19,796 I'll ring you tonight. 332 00:29:34,646 --> 00:29:36,841 Birch View. Now, then... 333 00:29:37,006 --> 00:29:40,760 - Which one is Birch View? - What'll it be this time? 334 00:29:40,926 --> 00:29:45,124 The old "Can I use your lavatory and also ransack the premises" ploy? 335 00:29:45,286 --> 00:29:48,164 - Right, but it's your turn. - You what?! 336 00:29:48,326 --> 00:29:53,958 - I wouldn't have a clue what to look for. - Use some initiative, for goodness' sake. 337 00:29:54,126 --> 00:29:58,324 Oh, excuse me. Do you know which house Mr Porthropp lives in? 338 00:29:58,526 --> 00:30:00,517 I'm Mr Porthropp. 339 00:30:02,806 --> 00:30:05,001 - Can I help you? - I'm wondering if you can. 340 00:30:05,166 --> 00:30:10,524 I'm Madeline Magellan. I'm writing a book for a publisher named Antonia Stangerson, 341 00:30:10,726 --> 00:30:14,765 whose husband, I believe, was your former business partner. 342 00:30:14,966 --> 00:30:20,165 A few days ago, something very strange happened, which none of us can explain. 343 00:30:20,366 --> 00:30:22,755 Hello? 344 00:30:41,406 --> 00:30:45,001 Yes, nine years. Nearly ten. 345 00:30:45,166 --> 00:30:48,124 The Rolls and Royce, Mercedes and Benz. 346 00:30:48,286 --> 00:30:52,325 We had... I don't know... a commercial chemistry that was very rare. 347 00:30:53,286 --> 00:30:56,437 Till it went tits-up, and you had to find new jobs? 348 00:31:01,726 --> 00:31:04,638 Mr Porthropp. This might be a long shot, 349 00:31:04,806 --> 00:31:08,321 but there's something I'd like you to look at. 350 00:31:18,406 --> 00:31:21,204 No. Sorry. I can't help you on that. 351 00:31:29,926 --> 00:31:31,518 Ah, Mrs Loxley. 352 00:31:31,726 --> 00:31:35,799 All finished. I'll do the back next week if I get time. 353 00:31:36,006 --> 00:31:39,476 - Thank you very much. - Better dash. 354 00:31:40,406 --> 00:31:44,160 Sorry I wasn't much help. Good luck with it, anyway. 355 00:31:54,726 --> 00:31:58,275 Stop whimpering! What's the worst that can happen? 356 00:31:58,446 --> 00:32:00,721 - You get rabies? - Yes! 357 00:32:01,526 --> 00:32:04,962 Know what? I swear he knew what that meant. 358 00:32:05,126 --> 00:32:09,244 Acted like he was baffled, but his eyes said something else. 359 00:32:13,006 --> 00:32:16,442 Jonathan Creek. Rebecca, hi. 360 00:32:17,366 --> 00:32:21,962 Sorry? No, I'm not avoiding you. I've just had a lot on. 361 00:32:22,126 --> 00:32:25,004 Oh, give it here. I'll tell her. 362 00:32:25,166 --> 00:32:27,521 Tomorrow? I can't, but... 363 00:32:28,686 --> 00:32:30,483 Sorry? 364 00:32:32,446 --> 00:32:35,006 OK. That'd be great. 365 00:32:37,046 --> 00:32:39,241 See you then. Bye. 366 00:32:42,446 --> 00:32:45,916 Wednesday afternoon, taking me to meet her parents. 367 00:32:48,246 --> 00:32:50,601 All in good time. I'll tell her. 368 00:33:00,086 --> 00:33:02,316 This is where you grew up? 369 00:33:03,686 --> 00:33:06,644 - It's great. - With my sister and two brothers. 370 00:33:06,806 --> 00:33:11,322 Dairy herd, of course. How anyone can eat them is beyond my comprehension. 371 00:33:12,246 --> 00:33:14,043 Right. 372 00:33:15,646 --> 00:33:19,400 - Unless they had a good reason. - Beg your pardon? 373 00:33:25,966 --> 00:33:30,118 Who makes all the chutney and mayonnaise around here? Your mother? 374 00:33:30,286 --> 00:33:33,244 Yes. All home-grown produce. 375 00:33:33,406 --> 00:33:36,478 I'd leave that one. It's bull semen. 376 00:34:03,126 --> 00:34:04,525 Mrs Stangerson? 377 00:34:07,366 --> 00:34:09,357 It's Justine... 378 00:34:16,606 --> 00:34:18,597 That's Lucy. 379 00:34:22,406 --> 00:34:26,922 And this is Marilyn. She's a dreamboat, I tell you. 380 00:34:27,126 --> 00:34:29,924 Er, I know your folks'll be back soon, so... 381 00:34:30,086 --> 00:34:32,441 I know. Talk about a long lunch. 382 00:34:32,606 --> 00:34:36,884 Still, it's their anniversary. You should be honoured they're spending it with you. 383 00:34:37,046 --> 00:34:41,119 - They can be funny about my boyfriends. - That right? Er... 384 00:34:41,566 --> 00:34:46,356 July 5th. Do you know how my father always remembers it? 385 00:34:46,526 --> 00:34:49,836 The day before was July 4th, Independence Day. 386 00:34:50,006 --> 00:34:52,839 The day after, he was a married man. 387 00:34:53,006 --> 00:34:57,318 Terrible memory he's got for dates and figures. 388 00:34:57,486 --> 00:34:59,954 Do you understand? 389 00:35:00,126 --> 00:35:04,278 - I think I'm beginning to. - Now, this is Georgina, 390 00:35:04,446 --> 00:35:06,801 who I helped deliver myself. 391 00:35:07,006 --> 00:35:12,364 I think of her sometimes as the product of my own womb. Is that silly? 392 00:35:15,966 --> 00:35:20,721 Porthropp still hates him for severing the link? 393 00:35:20,926 --> 00:35:25,477 But he wants to free himself of that hate? 394 00:35:26,726 --> 00:35:30,605 Do you know what made it so incredibly hard to work out? 395 00:35:30,766 --> 00:35:33,838 The fact that it's so incredibly easy. 396 00:35:34,046 --> 00:35:38,961 - You know what a mnemonic is? - A thing to help you remember something. 397 00:35:40,406 --> 00:35:44,922 All the hours I spent on this, I could have solved it in a second. 398 00:35:46,606 --> 00:35:49,074 I never read it out loud. 399 00:35:49,846 --> 00:35:54,237 What's hard to remember that you might not want someone else to see? 400 00:35:55,806 --> 00:35:58,366 It's a phone number. 401 00:36:00,406 --> 00:36:01,998 "Oh, when I know... " 402 00:36:02,206 --> 00:36:04,242 0190. 403 00:36:04,446 --> 00:36:06,243 ".. to free hate... " 404 00:36:06,446 --> 00:36:08,482 238. 405 00:36:08,686 --> 00:36:12,281 - ".. to sever no one. " - 2701. 406 00:36:12,446 --> 00:36:14,437 That's bleeding brilliant! 407 00:36:15,406 --> 00:36:17,397 You rung it yet? 408 00:36:19,006 --> 00:36:21,804 Because I know who'll be at the other end. 409 00:36:21,966 --> 00:36:25,163 Because I can see it now, the whole thing. 410 00:36:26,166 --> 00:36:29,761 The guy's not Superman. He doesn't eat red meat. 411 00:36:29,926 --> 00:36:31,917 He's terrified of the past tense. 412 00:36:40,526 --> 00:36:42,005 Hello? 413 00:36:42,166 --> 00:36:45,203 Antonia! I was just about to... 414 00:36:49,246 --> 00:36:51,316 Oh, my God! 415 00:36:51,766 --> 00:36:54,917 When? How? 416 00:36:55,086 --> 00:37:00,638 They were holding... I don't know... some big party or other. 417 00:37:00,806 --> 00:37:02,797 July 4th. 418 00:37:02,966 --> 00:37:08,120 One of the pyrotechnics hadn't been secured properly or something. 419 00:37:08,286 --> 00:37:11,084 It just went off in his face. 420 00:37:13,246 --> 00:37:17,239 He was rushed to hospital, but by the time they got... 421 00:37:26,326 --> 00:37:28,442 Norman Stangerson. 422 00:37:30,166 --> 00:37:31,758 He's dead. 423 00:37:39,526 --> 00:37:41,437 I think we better ring this number. 424 00:38:07,286 --> 00:38:11,837 I know this seems like totally the wrong moment, Antonia, but... 425 00:38:13,246 --> 00:38:18,320 we've picked our way through it all now, and it's not what you'll want to hear. 426 00:38:19,566 --> 00:38:23,605 A man who can't bear the thought of time slipping away, 427 00:38:23,766 --> 00:38:27,122 desperate to claw back the past, but cling to the present. 428 00:38:27,286 --> 00:38:29,800 We should have seen it coming. 429 00:38:29,966 --> 00:38:34,801 The, um... funny message on this piece of paper 430 00:38:34,966 --> 00:38:40,563 was actually a phone number written phonetically by your husband. 431 00:38:40,726 --> 00:38:45,925 A few hours ago, just after we spoke, I checked it out, and, er... 432 00:38:49,366 --> 00:38:52,881 How about I, er... pour you a drink? 433 00:39:11,286 --> 00:39:15,074 God help me. What have I put you through? 434 00:39:15,886 --> 00:39:18,195 They told me you were dead. 435 00:39:20,206 --> 00:39:23,437 They were lying all along, those people. 436 00:39:23,646 --> 00:39:27,685 They had no reason to lie about Norman's death or anything else. 437 00:39:29,486 --> 00:39:34,719 What was it you said to me on the phone? "The guy's not Superman. " 438 00:39:34,886 --> 00:39:37,878 Which something told me was exactly the point. 439 00:39:38,886 --> 00:39:42,765 If we weren't looking at a man with two identities, 440 00:39:42,966 --> 00:39:45,878 how about two men with one identity. 441 00:39:46,046 --> 00:39:51,484 Two men who for the past three years were both Norman Stangerson. 442 00:40:06,206 --> 00:40:08,322 When Mel and I went bust, 443 00:40:09,926 --> 00:40:14,522 it was like the sky fell in for both of us. 444 00:40:14,686 --> 00:40:18,315 In the end, I landed on my feet. 445 00:40:18,486 --> 00:40:21,364 Mel couldn't get arrested. 446 00:40:21,526 --> 00:40:24,563 But maybe we didn't need two jobs between us. 447 00:40:25,646 --> 00:40:28,365 The way mine was structured, there was enough money 448 00:40:28,566 --> 00:40:32,844 and more than enough pressure to split down the middle, so... 449 00:40:33,006 --> 00:40:35,566 we arrived at a dream solution. 450 00:40:35,726 --> 00:40:39,355 I'd work the UK end and, er... he'd be me in New York. 451 00:40:40,726 --> 00:40:47,120 We'd collaborated so closely for so long, lived and breathed the same instincts, 452 00:40:48,166 --> 00:40:52,000 so long as we kept the other posted and covered our tracks, 453 00:40:52,166 --> 00:40:54,441 no one upstairs would ever know. 454 00:40:55,086 --> 00:40:59,159 Of course, the upshot of it all was... more time. 455 00:40:59,966 --> 00:41:05,563 While Porthropp was in the States, you were free to pursue... other interests. 456 00:41:08,486 --> 00:41:11,558 You want to tell your wife about Gillian, Mr Stangerson, 457 00:41:11,726 --> 00:41:15,765 or shall we just ring her up and let her hear it for herself? 458 00:41:19,806 --> 00:41:24,084 Gillian was... was the first girl I ever... 459 00:41:24,246 --> 00:41:26,316 Go on. 460 00:41:28,086 --> 00:41:31,317 When I was 19, she was 17. 461 00:41:32,526 --> 00:41:36,519 We'd grown up in the same part of the world, near Shrewsbury. 462 00:41:36,686 --> 00:41:40,884 We hadn't seen each other for 25 years. 463 00:41:42,406 --> 00:41:47,480 And then one day... it doesn't matter how... 464 00:41:47,646 --> 00:41:50,524 our lives suddenly collided again. 465 00:41:50,686 --> 00:41:55,123 She'd been through a desperate marriage and I'm still single. 466 00:41:56,126 --> 00:41:58,879 - It was like we'd both... - Turned the clock back. 467 00:41:59,086 --> 00:42:00,883 Yeah... 468 00:42:01,766 --> 00:42:05,645 Then a year after that, you met Antonia, fell emphatically in love 469 00:42:05,806 --> 00:42:10,277 and, this time, got married, only there was one small snag, wasn't there? 470 00:42:11,526 --> 00:42:15,599 - You couldn't let go of Gillian. - Tell me this isn't true. 471 00:42:15,806 --> 00:42:19,640 I'm afraid it's the old double life with another woman routine... 472 00:42:20,766 --> 00:42:25,476 with the neat twist that every time he was away feathering his other nest, 473 00:42:26,486 --> 00:42:29,717 there were witnesses to swear he was in New York. 474 00:42:29,886 --> 00:42:35,324 They weren't to know their Norman Stangerson was really Melvin Porthropp. 475 00:42:42,046 --> 00:42:45,595 If it sounds like a complex enterprise... 476 00:42:45,766 --> 00:42:47,836 then it wasn't. 477 00:42:48,006 --> 00:42:52,796 It didn't take long with our graphics contacts to sort the passport out. 478 00:42:52,966 --> 00:42:56,356 The rest... became quite routine. 479 00:42:57,646 --> 00:43:02,037 I'd park at the airport, hand over to Mel... 480 00:43:04,126 --> 00:43:07,118 and then complete my journey in a rented car. 481 00:43:07,566 --> 00:43:10,876 And from that moment on, he became me. 482 00:43:11,726 --> 00:43:14,160 He learned to copy my signature. 483 00:43:14,326 --> 00:43:17,079 If anyone phoned from England, he had my voice pat. 484 00:43:18,766 --> 00:43:21,155 Usually, I'd phone Antonia in the evenings, 485 00:43:21,326 --> 00:43:27,322 but if she called Mel, he'd ask to call her back, then tip me off at Gill's. 486 00:43:28,366 --> 00:43:33,394 Personality traits like, er... my problem with clocks, 487 00:43:33,566 --> 00:43:36,524 he began to weave into his performance. 488 00:43:36,686 --> 00:43:40,520 I think he got quite a kick from those little details. 489 00:43:45,926 --> 00:43:47,245 Thank you. 490 00:43:47,366 --> 00:43:52,076 Then, er... when he got back, I'd be there waiting... 491 00:43:52,886 --> 00:43:54,717 to debrief. 492 00:43:55,806 --> 00:43:58,479 I never realised till now how close we were. 493 00:44:02,966 --> 00:44:06,595 Now it's like I've sent him over there... 494 00:44:06,766 --> 00:44:08,757 to his death. 495 00:44:08,926 --> 00:44:12,362 Next to which, dropping your wallet in that hamburger joint, 496 00:44:12,526 --> 00:44:16,155 paying Lewis French to keep his mouth shut, is incidental. 497 00:44:19,246 --> 00:44:23,159 Unusually, I, um... I had a lot of work to catch up on, 498 00:44:23,326 --> 00:44:27,842 so I left a day early and checked into a hotel. 499 00:44:28,326 --> 00:44:33,446 I'd had an early start, and by the time I got near the airport, 500 00:44:33,646 --> 00:44:35,682 I was ready for breakfast. 501 00:44:35,886 --> 00:44:38,684 You never finished that hamburger. 502 00:44:38,886 --> 00:44:41,480 But then you never intended to. 503 00:44:41,646 --> 00:44:44,797 You'd got the coupon, which you ordered it for. 504 00:44:45,006 --> 00:44:46,405 Coupon? 505 00:44:46,606 --> 00:44:50,645 Collect five and get a free soccer wall chart. 506 00:44:51,806 --> 00:44:55,116 Somewhere behind this was a young football fan... 507 00:44:55,286 --> 00:45:01,316 but you had no children of your own, no brothers and sisters, so no nephews, 508 00:45:01,526 --> 00:45:05,121 so whose child would he go to that much trouble for? 509 00:45:08,566 --> 00:45:13,959 It was one of the reasons I couldn't stop it, I couldn't end it. 510 00:45:15,126 --> 00:45:19,517 Nothing had changed, as far as they knew. Why did they need to know? 511 00:45:21,846 --> 00:45:26,715 And then when your call came this afternoon... 512 00:45:26,886 --> 00:45:28,285 Norman. 513 00:45:29,686 --> 00:45:32,154 I've messed up so many lives. 514 00:45:34,526 --> 00:45:36,881 This is my crime. 515 00:45:39,086 --> 00:45:41,759 I've tried to love too many people. 516 00:45:42,486 --> 00:45:46,081 Maybe your crime is you don't know who to love. 517 00:45:50,446 --> 00:45:54,234 If you ever decide, Norman, let me know... 518 00:45:55,206 --> 00:45:59,802 because time's running out faster than you think. 519 00:46:09,526 --> 00:46:14,122 By the way, I meant to say, did you see "Kojak" last night? 520 00:46:15,286 --> 00:46:17,754 You never give it a rest, do you? 521 00:46:17,926 --> 00:46:21,919 I said I'd end it and I ended it. 522 00:46:22,086 --> 00:46:24,998 When we were all sitting there, finally, having dinner, 523 00:46:25,166 --> 00:46:29,318 I said that Rebecca's a lovely girl, but one misguided act of passion 524 00:46:29,486 --> 00:46:33,684 on a kitchen table didn't mean we were romantically suited. 525 00:46:33,846 --> 00:46:39,000 It ended very amicably when her father threw me out in a waitress trolley. 526 00:46:40,926 --> 00:46:44,965 Actually, I was just asking if you saw "Kojak" last night. 527 00:46:46,366 --> 00:46:51,918 It was a really old one about some bloke in Utah with three wives. 528 00:46:52,566 --> 00:46:54,363 Oh. 529 00:46:54,566 --> 00:46:57,603 Right. Well... I just... 530 00:47:00,046 --> 00:47:03,595 - What the hell's this? - What's what? 531 00:47:03,806 --> 00:47:06,957 There are no depths you won't sink to, are there? 532 00:47:07,126 --> 00:47:11,597 Oh, that's just some stupid thing their art department came back with 533 00:47:12,406 --> 00:47:15,716 as some kind of ball-park cover design. 534 00:47:15,926 --> 00:47:19,521 "Ball-park cover design"?! Where did you get this photo? 535 00:47:19,686 --> 00:47:24,521 - If you think I'll let this loose... - Of course not! 536 00:47:24,686 --> 00:47:27,837 I'd never give my approval to a thing like that. 537 00:47:28,006 --> 00:47:31,396 - "Thank you for giving your approval... " - Yes. All right. 538 00:47:31,566 --> 00:47:33,796 Consider it spiked. 539 00:47:34,806 --> 00:47:37,798 Jonathan... Seriously... 540 00:47:38,646 --> 00:47:41,365 You and me, we're a team. 541 00:47:43,526 --> 00:47:45,915 We don't need that kind of friction. 542 00:47:47,286 --> 00:47:51,598 A little friction can be quite nice... Hey... 543 00:47:53,446 --> 00:47:55,437 Seen the time? 544 00:47:57,046 --> 00:47:59,241 You've missed your last train. 545 00:47:59,966 --> 00:48:02,196 We both know what this means. 546 00:48:04,366 --> 00:48:05,765 Do we? 547 00:48:07,446 --> 00:48:10,040 Six-hour wait at that sodding station. Oh, well. 548 00:48:10,246 --> 00:48:15,240 Find a nice bench. Try not to sit in any vomit. It'll soon go. 549 00:48:18,806 --> 00:48:21,923 Isn't that what they say, Jonathan... time flies?