1 00:00:45,767 --> 00:00:47,758 It's good to have you back. 2 00:00:47,927 --> 00:00:53,320 After the land of raw fish, that tongue must be ready for something without gills. 3 00:00:55,007 --> 00:00:59,205 You go away and get back on western time for tomorrow. 4 00:00:59,367 --> 00:01:02,200 We'll give you a birthday you'll never forget. 5 00:01:07,247 --> 00:01:09,602 Take care, baby. 6 00:01:09,767 --> 00:01:12,406 - Love the shirt. - Love you. 7 00:01:23,847 --> 00:01:25,644 Afternoon. 8 00:01:25,807 --> 00:01:27,798 What can we get you? 9 00:01:27,967 --> 00:01:33,200 Whatever it takes to wow a young lady. It's her birthday. I want it to be special. 10 00:01:33,367 --> 00:01:36,643 We'll do something nice. What about a message? 11 00:01:36,807 --> 00:01:39,367 What would you like to say on the card? 12 00:01:39,527 --> 00:01:43,918 "To my dearest dreamboat, you are everything to me and more, 13 00:01:44,087 --> 00:01:46,043 "constant, unfailing... 14 00:01:47,687 --> 00:01:49,996 "vision of loveliness. 15 00:01:52,327 --> 00:01:57,162 "The sight of you lights up my life in ways I can't begin to describe. 16 00:01:58,487 --> 00:02:03,436 "You must know by now... I am hopelessly in love with you. " 17 00:02:08,727 --> 00:02:12,083 Mimi Tranter. What sort of name's that? 18 00:02:12,247 --> 00:02:14,522 It was a running joke on the news desk. 19 00:02:14,687 --> 00:02:18,475 Mimi was always "Me me!" Super-glam girlie reporter. 20 00:02:18,647 --> 00:02:22,276 The type women can't stand but men dribble over. 21 00:02:22,447 --> 00:02:25,723 - Bit like a urinal. - But without the charm. 22 00:02:25,887 --> 00:02:29,436 What she wants to meet you for, I shudder to... What? 23 00:02:29,607 --> 00:02:32,519 Two sorts of people to avoid - serial killers 24 00:02:32,687 --> 00:02:35,724 and women who spell "Thanks" with an "x". 25 00:02:37,847 --> 00:02:42,045 I don't know how much longer I can wait. We've got a show tonight... 26 00:02:44,367 --> 00:02:48,963 Oh, no! Oh, spare us that, please! 27 00:02:49,127 --> 00:02:53,678 Ruddy oompah band again practising outside. 28 00:02:53,847 --> 00:02:57,681 Every hour of the day, driving me witless. 29 00:02:58,247 --> 00:03:01,683 You dare start up that racket. I forbid it! 30 00:03:01,847 --> 00:03:07,717 Yes, you with the trombone! I'm warning you. One peep out of that and... 31 00:03:34,127 --> 00:03:37,358 Hey, fellas! Fellas! 32 00:03:37,527 --> 00:03:42,885 Love that sound to bits, but if you could just take a breather, be ever so grateful. 33 00:03:43,047 --> 00:03:45,641 No problem! 34 00:03:45,807 --> 00:03:48,844 So you're Jonathan, the magic man. 35 00:03:49,607 --> 00:03:53,566 I've got a little something might be up your street. 36 00:03:53,727 --> 00:03:55,877 - Coffee? - Have you got iced tea? 37 00:03:56,047 --> 00:03:58,481 We just sucked the last bag. 38 00:03:59,407 --> 00:04:03,400 Listen. I just loved that trick on the show last week. 39 00:04:03,567 --> 00:04:06,400 Dismantling the body in the boxes. 40 00:04:08,287 --> 00:04:12,883 It was obvious how it was done. With the dummy feet and the girl squashed up. 41 00:04:13,047 --> 00:04:16,198 And the bit with the crossbow. Brilliant. 42 00:04:16,367 --> 00:04:18,961 You could see that it didn't really fire 43 00:04:19,127 --> 00:04:23,006 and there was a duplicate bolt on a fish wire or something, 44 00:04:23,167 --> 00:04:27,843 but the fact that you can always work them out is the fun of it for me. 45 00:04:28,607 --> 00:04:30,916 I'm running a bit late. 46 00:04:31,087 --> 00:04:33,885 - Robin's picking me up at 12. - Robin? 47 00:04:34,047 --> 00:04:40,282 I tell you, he is complete and utter heaven. In every department. 48 00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:46,443 He's also married with a six-month-old daughter, but when did life ever run smooth? 49 00:04:46,607 --> 00:04:49,599 And this time I wasn't looking for it. 50 00:04:49,767 --> 00:04:53,396 Why would I be interested in a Mr Robin Priest? 51 00:04:53,567 --> 00:04:58,880 Some sales rep who's won first prize in a national story writing competition. 52 00:05:03,287 --> 00:05:08,042 Then, I don't know... whatever it is that happens, happened. 53 00:05:10,167 --> 00:05:13,876 His wife was there but you could see it wasn't right. 54 00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:16,766 They just didn't fit together. 55 00:05:18,847 --> 00:05:23,557 But for us it was like, I don't know... the end of the rainbow. 56 00:05:24,567 --> 00:05:28,560 The last thing I want to do is wreck someone's marriage. 57 00:05:28,727 --> 00:05:30,206 But. hey... 58 00:05:30,367 --> 00:05:35,157 But there have been a few more "business" trips in his diary. 59 00:05:36,807 --> 00:05:39,037 Then, the other night... 60 00:05:39,207 --> 00:05:41,596 What are you doing? 61 00:05:41,767 --> 00:05:45,965 - No! It's Ghost's Forge. - What is it? 62 00:05:46,127 --> 00:05:51,599 When I asked him what or where was Ghost's Forge, he hadn't a clue. 63 00:05:51,767 --> 00:05:53,325 Ghost's Forge. 64 00:05:53,487 --> 00:05:55,364 Then it came back to him. 65 00:05:55,527 --> 00:05:58,758 He'd read an article about this unsolved murder. 66 00:05:58,927 --> 00:06:01,805 The old bloodhound instinct, I looked it up. 67 00:06:01,967 --> 00:06:06,563 Turns out to be a mystery that they never got to the bottom of. 68 00:06:06,727 --> 00:06:12,359 Ghost's Forge, apparently, was this spooky old place in the wilds of Norfolk 69 00:06:12,527 --> 00:06:15,121 whose owner, a guy name Ezra Carr, 70 00:06:15,287 --> 00:06:20,486 had led a hermetically-sealed existence, locked away from the world, for 20 years. 71 00:06:20,647 --> 00:06:22,524 Ever since his wife died. 72 00:06:22,687 --> 00:06:24,996 Well, 18 months ago... 73 00:06:51,287 --> 00:06:54,677 The gist of it, all here in the police report, 74 00:06:54,847 --> 00:06:59,523 which the lovely detective inspector copied for me, is as follows. 75 00:06:59,687 --> 00:07:03,441 "The owner of the house, Mr Ezra Carr, 76 00:07:03,607 --> 00:07:08,601 "was found deceased in the north-facing upstairs bedroom in the east wing... " 77 00:07:56,727 --> 00:08:01,926 ".. although pathology showed this blood did not belong to the murder victim. " 78 00:08:02,087 --> 00:08:03,918 So? Big deal. 79 00:08:04,087 --> 00:08:07,397 Old bloke found dead. Where's the story? 80 00:08:07,567 --> 00:08:12,277 Where's the motive? He knew no one, no one knew him. 81 00:08:12,447 --> 00:08:17,840 There's all kinds of valuable stuff there, but nothing was stolen. 82 00:08:18,007 --> 00:08:20,475 - Next of kin? - He had none. 83 00:08:20,647 --> 00:08:26,802 His stuff's been gobbled up by the state. House is being done up to sell as flats. 84 00:08:26,967 --> 00:08:31,563 I thought, if we could get inside, have a little nose about... 85 00:08:31,727 --> 00:08:37,006 - I've talked the agent into letting us in. - Get inside to look for what? 86 00:08:37,167 --> 00:08:41,001 What do you always say? "Don't know till you've found it. " 87 00:08:41,167 --> 00:08:45,604 Why don't I leave all this here for you to absorb properly... 88 00:08:47,607 --> 00:08:50,075 That'll be my lift. 89 00:08:53,487 --> 00:08:57,480 - Hi. Find the address OK? - No problem. 90 00:08:58,407 --> 00:09:01,604 Maddy, Jonathan, this is Robin. 91 00:09:01,767 --> 00:09:04,600 - Pleased to meet you. Hi. - Hello. 92 00:09:09,367 --> 00:09:11,005 What's this? 93 00:09:11,167 --> 00:09:14,921 - I was telling them about Ghost's Forge... - Yes. 94 00:09:15,087 --> 00:09:17,920 We don't have a lot of time, so nice to have met you. 95 00:09:18,087 --> 00:09:21,079 Right. Thanks. Bye. 96 00:09:23,007 --> 00:09:24,725 Well... 97 00:09:26,687 --> 00:09:28,803 Got some spunk, hasn't she? 98 00:09:30,807 --> 00:09:35,517 I can hardly let her down. She specially asked for my help. 99 00:09:35,687 --> 00:09:39,396 I despair of men generally. 100 00:09:46,327 --> 00:09:50,036 Everyone here? OK, Jonathan, the floor's yours. 101 00:09:50,207 --> 00:09:53,244 Right. Water tank. 102 00:09:53,407 --> 00:09:58,003 Yesterday's dry run, if I can call it that, all went very smoo... 103 00:09:59,847 --> 00:10:04,045 .. smoothly. Tim, you said the main thing to... 104 00:10:06,407 --> 00:10:10,002 .. is that the cameras don't go in on the false floor. 105 00:10:10,167 --> 00:10:13,159 One other thought. 106 00:10:13,327 --> 00:10:18,799 Let's have a fireman standing by with an axe. It'll help build up the ten... 107 00:10:21,847 --> 00:10:26,284 - What am I looking at? - "The Macclesfield Echo". A Duggie Dawson. 108 00:10:29,207 --> 00:10:33,803 Who cares what he thinks? Mr Great Big Nobody from Nowhere Land. 109 00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:35,798 The guy's a total irrelevance. 110 00:10:37,927 --> 00:10:42,443 So we're looking for our first stagger at 2.30 and tech one at 4.00? 111 00:10:42,607 --> 00:10:44,598 Thank you, folks. 112 00:10:48,047 --> 00:10:54,043 On the fireman, let's get Nick rather than some dancer who'll look like the Village... 113 00:10:54,207 --> 00:10:57,961 - Good point. - What the hell is this? 114 00:10:58,127 --> 00:10:59,765 Sorry? 115 00:10:59,927 --> 00:11:03,044 Oh, yes. I thought, why not? 116 00:11:03,207 --> 00:11:07,120 Let it be there. Let the audience make up their own minds. 117 00:11:07,287 --> 00:11:12,486 If you'll excuse me, I have a special lunch date with a very special lady. 118 00:11:12,647 --> 00:11:15,241 Oh, this is Samantha. 119 00:11:16,207 --> 00:11:18,198 Catch up with you later. 120 00:11:35,927 --> 00:11:38,395 And where are you tonight? 121 00:11:38,567 --> 00:11:43,038 At this precise moment... halfway up the M1 to Sheffield. 122 00:12:22,647 --> 00:12:24,126 Yeah? 123 00:12:29,047 --> 00:12:32,676 - What the bloody hell? - Filth is what you are! 124 00:12:32,847 --> 00:12:35,441 I know what's going on with you and Robin! 125 00:12:35,607 --> 00:12:42,160 - Robin...? No... You've got it all wrong. - I found your address in his pocket. 126 00:12:42,327 --> 00:12:45,717 You could at least have the decency to own up. 127 00:12:45,887 --> 00:12:48,765 I didn't write this. This is... 128 00:12:59,407 --> 00:13:02,319 You've got to be joking! 129 00:13:03,887 --> 00:13:07,596 I can't believe she would do that. I'm really sorry. 130 00:13:07,767 --> 00:13:10,918 That stuff's lethal, I'm telling you. 131 00:13:12,687 --> 00:13:18,080 By the way, fantastic show again this week. The old water tank thing. 132 00:13:19,087 --> 00:13:21,681 I guessed how it was done, obviously. 133 00:13:21,847 --> 00:13:28,002 Some kind of pipe under the stage that went to another tank that he just swam through. 134 00:13:29,687 --> 00:13:33,680 The audience, you could tell, were really gobsmacked. 135 00:13:36,887 --> 00:13:40,323 Here we are. One creepy old house. 136 00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:43,206 One property agent with keys. 137 00:13:43,367 --> 00:13:46,916 We're 50 minutes late. He's going to kill me. 138 00:13:47,647 --> 00:13:51,083 - We should be so lucky. - Sorry. Hello. 139 00:13:54,567 --> 00:13:58,765 - Oh. - What is that? Some local rag? 140 00:13:58,927 --> 00:14:01,805 The latest salvo from the "Macclesfield Echo". 141 00:14:01,967 --> 00:14:04,561 Guy prints a snide remark about the show, 142 00:14:04,727 --> 00:14:07,958 Adam makes a big deal of it, so now he's gone to town on him. 143 00:14:08,127 --> 00:14:12,325 Pages on the "unbearable vanity of this shallow showbusiness man 144 00:14:12,487 --> 00:14:15,160 "who puts the sham into shambolic. " 145 00:14:15,327 --> 00:14:18,319 What does that even mean? 146 00:14:20,847 --> 00:14:24,396 Hello? Yes. Just this second, Adam. 147 00:14:24,567 --> 00:14:28,003 I told you these people always have the last word. 148 00:14:28,167 --> 00:14:32,319 If you want to throw him, invite him over to a rehearsal. 149 00:14:32,487 --> 00:14:37,003 Be super-nice to him to make him feel guilty about all this stuff. 150 00:14:37,167 --> 00:14:40,125 The hostage bonding with the kidnapper. 151 00:14:41,647 --> 00:14:44,036 You're very welcome. 152 00:14:49,807 --> 00:14:54,358 Interesting. There's our first curiosity, the house sign. 153 00:14:54,527 --> 00:14:57,439 - What about it? - Don't worry. 154 00:14:57,607 --> 00:15:00,599 He sees things that are invisible to us mortals. 155 00:15:00,767 --> 00:15:04,396 I mean, this is absolutely beezer, isn't it? 156 00:15:04,567 --> 00:15:07,161 Not only are we 18 months late, 157 00:15:07,327 --> 00:15:11,240 the place is empty and the decorators have moved in. 158 00:15:11,407 --> 00:15:18,040 Are we hoping the killer's going to pop back and say, "Did I leave a knife behi...?" 159 00:15:19,287 --> 00:15:20,766 What? 160 00:15:21,927 --> 00:15:23,406 What? 161 00:15:27,167 --> 00:15:28,646 What? 162 00:15:28,807 --> 00:15:32,925 Remember those blood spatters? They're still here. 163 00:15:33,927 --> 00:15:38,921 Caused by some sort of fight between Carr and the guy who killed him? 164 00:15:39,807 --> 00:15:43,482 Or more logically by someone falling down the stairs. 165 00:15:45,367 --> 00:15:49,280 If only there was a secret relative or something... 166 00:15:49,447 --> 00:15:52,519 no one knew about who stood to inherit. 167 00:15:53,167 --> 00:15:56,318 But then no one ever came forward. 168 00:15:57,687 --> 00:16:00,963 - What are you thinking? - Nothing. 169 00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:06,042 I just can't get past the name of this place. Ghosts Forge? 170 00:16:06,207 --> 00:16:08,675 Where does that come from? 171 00:16:08,847 --> 00:16:12,760 According to those cuttings, there was never a forge here. 172 00:16:12,927 --> 00:16:17,159 Or any kind of ghosts. It almost makes you wonder if... 173 00:16:17,327 --> 00:16:20,319 What was that? 174 00:16:20,487 --> 00:16:25,959 - It's coming from the attic room. - The decorators don't work weekends. 175 00:17:03,967 --> 00:17:05,958 Aaagh! 176 00:17:09,527 --> 00:17:11,483 Aaagh! 177 00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:17,518 God, it's the ectoplasm! 178 00:17:17,687 --> 00:17:20,724 Coming out of her mouth! 179 00:17:41,087 --> 00:17:44,875 - What have you found? - I don't know. 180 00:17:46,047 --> 00:17:48,686 A package of some sort. 181 00:17:50,847 --> 00:17:53,998 "The Grave Digger", by Gerald Eastland. 182 00:17:58,247 --> 00:18:00,238 Five copies. 183 00:18:09,367 --> 00:18:14,566 This would be the north-facing bedroom here. Where the body was found. 184 00:18:15,567 --> 00:18:18,559 Now all been renovated, of course, but... 185 00:18:18,727 --> 00:18:21,639 Why is this locked when none of the others are? 186 00:18:26,567 --> 00:18:29,718 Something in there. Looks like the key. 187 00:18:29,887 --> 00:18:33,800 Suddenly more promising. A locked room mystery? 188 00:18:35,607 --> 00:18:39,520 - It won't budge. - There'll be a ladder somewhere. 189 00:18:39,687 --> 00:18:42,155 Come on, Mims, we'll race him. 190 00:18:46,167 --> 00:18:49,239 I think I spy a slightly open window. 191 00:18:49,407 --> 00:18:51,204 Hang on. 192 00:19:22,647 --> 00:19:26,640 - You there yet? - Hang about. I'm just coming. 193 00:19:48,607 --> 00:19:50,916 Any joy there yet? 194 00:19:51,447 --> 00:19:53,324 Hello? 195 00:20:18,047 --> 00:20:21,039 What are you playing at in there? 196 00:20:22,487 --> 00:20:25,206 Maddy! Are you out there? 197 00:20:26,527 --> 00:20:28,518 She's in there with you. 198 00:20:28,687 --> 00:20:31,997 She's not. She went up the ladder, but... 199 00:20:33,207 --> 00:20:35,675 She must have come out through this door. 200 00:20:35,847 --> 00:20:39,078 How? I can't even get the thing open. 201 00:20:41,367 --> 00:20:44,439 Stay put. I'm coming round. 202 00:21:03,127 --> 00:21:08,440 No key on this side. It looks like it's been snapped off in the lock. 203 00:21:10,647 --> 00:21:16,040 This doesn't make sense. She came in through the window. I saw her. 204 00:21:17,527 --> 00:21:21,566 - We're not in the wrong room? - I think we'd notice. 205 00:21:22,767 --> 00:21:26,919 This is just totally not happening. 206 00:21:27,087 --> 00:21:32,161 There is no way she could have got out of here. I swear. 207 00:22:00,367 --> 00:22:02,323 We'd better call the police. 208 00:22:11,487 --> 00:22:15,958 What am I going to say? My friend's just vanished into thin air? 209 00:22:16,127 --> 00:22:19,244 - Or not, as the case may be. - What? 210 00:22:19,407 --> 00:22:21,602 Wing mirror. 211 00:22:34,007 --> 00:22:37,682 You all right? Look as if you've seen a ghost. 212 00:22:40,807 --> 00:22:43,116 What's going on here? 213 00:22:43,287 --> 00:22:45,642 - Did you get...? - Yes? 214 00:22:45,807 --> 00:22:48,526 Oh. Clever. 215 00:22:48,687 --> 00:22:52,316 - Call yourself a conjuror. - How did I miss that? 216 00:22:52,487 --> 00:22:55,399 - Very neat. - Thought you'd like it. 217 00:22:56,247 --> 00:23:01,844 What's the matter, Mimi? A trick you can't work out? But you're so good at them. 218 00:23:02,007 --> 00:23:06,558 That apart, the room didn't really tell us much about the murder, 219 00:23:06,727 --> 00:23:10,197 so we've probably seen all there is to see. 220 00:23:17,967 --> 00:23:19,764 Adam Klaus. 221 00:23:19,927 --> 00:23:22,043 It's a name to conjure with. 222 00:23:25,527 --> 00:23:28,519 Like I'm the first person to ever say that. 223 00:23:28,687 --> 00:23:32,600 The first? Absolutely. The very first one. 224 00:23:34,287 --> 00:23:39,407 You know, you have the most perfectly dazzling smile I think I've ever seen. 225 00:23:42,807 --> 00:23:45,640 Just give me two minutes to freshen up. 226 00:24:26,607 --> 00:24:29,326 Come on. Thought I'd buy us a champagne supper 227 00:24:29,487 --> 00:24:33,958 to celebrate my first great triumph as a professional illusionist. 228 00:24:34,127 --> 00:24:39,645 I can't tell you how delicious it was to wipe that cocky smile off her face. 229 00:24:39,807 --> 00:24:44,835 Just waiting now for her to come begging me to explain how it was done. 230 00:24:46,207 --> 00:24:49,483 I had you fooled for ten minutes. 231 00:24:51,487 --> 00:24:54,160 You're not still on this Ezra Carr thing? 232 00:24:54,327 --> 00:24:58,798 Some old bloke got it in the neck from someone who didn't like him. 233 00:25:00,887 --> 00:25:02,684 What's that? 234 00:25:02,847 --> 00:25:07,716 She said he'd won first prize in a national short story writing competition. 235 00:25:07,887 --> 00:25:10,879 This lover boy of hers, Robin Priest. 236 00:25:11,047 --> 00:25:16,041 Out of idle curiosity, I tracked down the magazine it was printed in. 237 00:25:16,207 --> 00:25:20,166 - It makes interesting reading. - Why? What's it about? 238 00:25:20,327 --> 00:25:23,205 What it's about is not what's interesting. 239 00:25:23,367 --> 00:25:25,005 Sorry? 240 00:25:25,767 --> 00:25:30,761 What are you trying to say? You think this Robin is mixed up in it all? 241 00:25:30,927 --> 00:25:36,923 What did she say about him and his wife Shirley? They didn't fit together? 242 00:25:37,087 --> 00:25:40,875 - What do you think? - I can see what she means. 243 00:25:42,367 --> 00:25:46,838 That stuff with him talking about the house in his sleep... 244 00:25:47,007 --> 00:25:51,478 I don't buy that explanation that he'd read about it in an article. 245 00:25:53,447 --> 00:25:59,795 The weirdest part is this stupid house name, which doesn't make any kind of sense. 246 00:26:00,487 --> 00:26:02,478 And for a very good reason. 247 00:26:02,647 --> 00:26:06,037 This is not the name of the house. 248 00:26:09,567 --> 00:26:12,035 You saw that sign on the gate. 249 00:26:12,207 --> 00:26:15,279 What did you notice about it? 250 00:26:18,887 --> 00:26:20,878 There was no apostrophe. 251 00:26:22,687 --> 00:26:26,726 Have you ever read "Finnegans Wake" by James Joyce? 252 00:26:26,887 --> 00:26:29,447 Nor has anyone else. It's unreadable. 253 00:26:29,607 --> 00:26:34,522 One interesting thing about it is the title. There isn't an apostrophe. 254 00:26:34,687 --> 00:26:36,996 It's meant to be ambiguous. 255 00:26:37,167 --> 00:26:41,524 One Finnegan's funeral wake or several Finnegans wake up. 256 00:26:41,687 --> 00:26:46,477 So what does "Ghosts" with no apostrophe give you? 257 00:26:46,647 --> 00:26:49,445 There was more than one ghost? 258 00:26:49,607 --> 00:26:53,395 Forget about it. What do we know about Gerald Eastland? 259 00:26:55,087 --> 00:26:58,124 Cabinet minister during the late 1980s. 260 00:26:58,287 --> 00:27:02,246 Flashy bastard who's not my favourite person in the world. 261 00:27:02,407 --> 00:27:07,925 Contrary to expectations, turned out to be a nifty novelist. Died about four years ago. 262 00:27:08,087 --> 00:27:14,083 Hardly James Joyce, but he had a similar taste for puns and playing with words. 263 00:27:14,247 --> 00:27:19,162 Like this one. "The Grave Digger" is nothing to do with a man who digs graves. 264 00:27:19,327 --> 00:27:22,444 It's about this very miserable Australian. 265 00:27:22,607 --> 00:27:24,598 Sorry, I don't... 266 00:27:24,767 --> 00:27:26,246 Oh. 267 00:27:26,887 --> 00:27:29,959 Grave Digger. Very clever. 268 00:27:30,127 --> 00:27:36,157 Why do you suppose someone would send six copies of this book to Ezra Carr? 269 00:27:36,967 --> 00:27:39,435 Where do you get six? 270 00:27:40,407 --> 00:27:44,844 - There are only five in there. - You can see one's been removed. 271 00:27:46,407 --> 00:27:49,479 Come on. Ghosts Forge? 272 00:27:49,647 --> 00:27:56,519 Gerald Eastland - the most unlikely author you can imagine. It's here in front of us. 273 00:28:00,447 --> 00:28:03,405 Sorry. You're going to have to spell it out. 274 00:28:05,247 --> 00:28:06,726 Sit down. 275 00:28:21,607 --> 00:28:24,405 Perfect. How was it for everyone else? 276 00:28:24,567 --> 00:28:28,560 My one concern is that maybe the skirt is too short. 277 00:28:28,727 --> 00:28:33,084 There are women for whom this could be considered exploitative. 278 00:28:33,247 --> 00:28:36,796 You know how I feel about cheap sexual titti... 279 00:28:36,967 --> 00:28:40,357 Jonathan, my uniquely gifted collaborator. 280 00:28:40,527 --> 00:28:45,078 Can I introduce you to Duggie Dawson, who I invited along today 281 00:28:45,247 --> 00:28:49,525 to see how we put these crazy shows together. 282 00:28:49,687 --> 00:28:52,485 OK. So if no one has any problems... 283 00:28:52,647 --> 00:28:55,878 Just the one tiny problem, Adam. 284 00:28:56,727 --> 00:29:01,676 I'd like to know why you did a runner from my bedroom last night. 285 00:29:01,847 --> 00:29:03,758 Samantha. What a lovely... 286 00:29:03,927 --> 00:29:08,717 When you'd been telling me I was the most perfect creature you'd ever seen. 287 00:29:08,887 --> 00:29:13,802 What can it have been, I wonder, that changed your mind? 288 00:29:14,967 --> 00:29:16,958 No, to be honest... 289 00:29:17,127 --> 00:29:21,359 Next time I take my grandmother to the hospital after a stroke, 290 00:29:21,527 --> 00:29:25,315 I'll make sure someone else looks after her teeth. 291 00:29:25,487 --> 00:29:29,719 - How about we talk about it? - No. That's fine. 292 00:29:29,887 --> 00:29:35,200 I only came by to say thank you for showing me how little I mean to you 293 00:29:35,367 --> 00:29:39,121 and what a shallow set of values you live by. 294 00:29:39,287 --> 00:29:43,724 He picked me up while he was ordering flowers for his girlfriend. 295 00:29:43,887 --> 00:29:48,199 This man has all the depth and sensitivity of a dog turd. 296 00:29:48,367 --> 00:29:51,723 That's Samantha Clarke - with an E. 297 00:30:03,447 --> 00:30:06,245 - Any joy? - Bucketloads. 298 00:30:06,407 --> 00:30:10,320 I had an interesting chat with Gerald Eastland's publishers. 299 00:30:10,487 --> 00:30:13,638 - And? - Looks as if you were right. 300 00:30:29,927 --> 00:30:33,203 What the hell are you doing here? Are you mad? 301 00:30:33,367 --> 00:30:38,361 She knows anyway. What's the deal? It's not going to go away, Robin. 302 00:30:38,527 --> 00:30:41,678 We may as well confront it here and now. 303 00:30:43,127 --> 00:30:47,564 Shirley. Sorry, that was my chum you got the other night. 304 00:30:47,727 --> 00:30:54,121 Otherwise I'm afraid it's all true. We are very much in love. 305 00:30:55,007 --> 00:30:58,044 And Robin would like a divorce. 306 00:30:59,567 --> 00:31:03,116 Oh, Mimi. You have no idea what you're saying. 307 00:31:03,287 --> 00:31:05,278 And why should you? 308 00:31:06,647 --> 00:31:11,118 You walk into my life, you think you can take it over, you think it's easy. 309 00:31:13,927 --> 00:31:19,047 - I have no life. I have no future. - What are you talking about? 310 00:31:19,207 --> 00:31:21,004 I killed him! 311 00:31:21,167 --> 00:31:23,840 I murdered Ezra Carr! 312 00:31:28,727 --> 00:31:32,720 Hi. Sorry to butt in, but the back door was open. 313 00:31:34,127 --> 00:31:37,722 Perhaps when you've sorted your daughter out, we should talk. 314 00:31:47,207 --> 00:31:49,243 Listen, Mr Dawson... 315 00:31:49,407 --> 00:31:51,045 Duggie. 316 00:31:51,207 --> 00:31:54,756 That little outburst - I wouldn't take it too seriously. 317 00:31:54,927 --> 00:31:59,762 Samantha's a lovely girl, but prone to irrational mood swings. 318 00:31:59,927 --> 00:32:04,205 Women who have the measure of me can tell you the kind of guy I am. 319 00:32:04,367 --> 00:32:06,835 I don't doubt it, Mr Klaus. 320 00:32:07,007 --> 00:32:09,726 Nice shirt, by the way. 321 00:32:09,887 --> 00:32:13,197 - Bought by a girlfriend? - Actually it was. 322 00:32:13,367 --> 00:32:15,358 - Kind of sweet. - Very. 323 00:32:15,527 --> 00:32:19,202 - You speak Japanese? - I can't say that I do. 324 00:32:19,367 --> 00:32:23,326 I was there for seven years with Reuters. Became quite fluent. 325 00:32:23,487 --> 00:32:25,842 - Really? - And, yes, you're right. 326 00:32:26,007 --> 00:32:30,956 Any woman who buys you a shirt with "I am full of shit" on it 327 00:32:31,127 --> 00:32:35,120 has got the measure of you very well. Bye, Mr Klaus. 328 00:32:36,127 --> 00:32:38,118 Thanks for the bubbly. 329 00:32:42,407 --> 00:32:48,323 It was hard to get the whole picture with everything firing in different directions. 330 00:32:49,607 --> 00:32:52,963 But once you bolt it all together, you start to see. 331 00:32:53,127 --> 00:32:56,802 One or two key details tell the story. 332 00:32:56,967 --> 00:33:00,721 That slightly wonky house name. Ghosts Forge? 333 00:33:00,887 --> 00:33:03,526 And that parcel with the books in. 334 00:33:03,687 --> 00:33:06,360 Why order six copies of the same book? 335 00:33:06,527 --> 00:33:10,076 Five had just been left in the attic to gather dust. 336 00:33:10,247 --> 00:33:14,240 I'm afraid I was painfully slow getting to that one. 337 00:33:14,407 --> 00:33:19,401 Author's freebies. The writer of a book usually gets half a dozen copies. 338 00:33:20,167 --> 00:33:22,601 In my case, it can double the print run. 339 00:33:22,767 --> 00:33:28,080 But why had these been sent to Ezra Carr? The author was Gerald Eastland. 340 00:33:28,247 --> 00:33:30,477 Or so we're meant to believe. 341 00:33:30,647 --> 00:33:32,638 Gerald Eastland - 342 00:33:32,807 --> 00:33:37,835 tedious MP in the '80s who wouldn't have won awards for his literacy or wit, 343 00:33:38,007 --> 00:33:43,001 turns out a series of skilfully crafted, best-selling novels. 344 00:33:43,167 --> 00:33:45,442 Not without help, I suggest. 345 00:33:45,607 --> 00:33:48,599 A guy at the publisher's came clean. 346 00:33:48,767 --> 00:33:53,716 Eastland's name was used to sell all these titles, but he never wrote them. 347 00:33:53,887 --> 00:33:58,278 All that wry humour and verbal gimmickry was down to Mr Carr. 348 00:33:59,647 --> 00:34:04,118 The kind of man who might have left an ironic clue to what he did... 349 00:34:04,927 --> 00:34:07,521 in the name of his house. 350 00:34:07,687 --> 00:34:10,406 Break it up like a cryptic crossword. 351 00:34:11,167 --> 00:34:13,806 Ghosts Forge... 352 00:34:13,967 --> 00:34:17,482 becomes "Ghosts for GE." 353 00:34:18,527 --> 00:34:22,918 In effect, here lives Gerald Eastland's ghostwriter. 354 00:34:23,967 --> 00:34:27,676 - But Eastland's been dead for five years. - Four and a half. 355 00:34:27,847 --> 00:34:31,317 He didn't have anything to do with the murder? 356 00:34:31,487 --> 00:34:34,285 The pivot to this affair was in the motive. 357 00:34:34,447 --> 00:34:39,441 The police accepted no robbery had taken place - valuable stuff had been left - 358 00:34:39,607 --> 00:34:42,075 but the police were wrong. 359 00:34:42,247 --> 00:34:45,478 What was removed from Ezra Carr's house that night 360 00:34:45,647 --> 00:34:51,995 was more priceless than any money or jewellery. It was Ezra Carr himself. 361 00:34:55,687 --> 00:35:00,522 Interesting how a name always conjures up an image of someone. 362 00:35:00,687 --> 00:35:05,966 How Ezra Carr just has to be some grizzled, Dickensian old fogey... 363 00:35:07,167 --> 00:35:12,287 when it could just as easily be a charming young man in his late 30s. 364 00:35:18,967 --> 00:35:23,279 A man who tragically lost his wife while they were both young. 365 00:35:23,447 --> 00:35:27,440 Who hardly met another living soul for 20 years. 366 00:35:28,327 --> 00:35:31,319 Should we be surprised we got it wrong? 367 00:35:31,487 --> 00:35:37,244 The man they found dead in that room wasn't actually Ezra Carr at all. 368 00:35:38,047 --> 00:35:40,083 Not Ez...? But... 369 00:35:41,287 --> 00:35:44,199 Then who was he? 370 00:35:45,607 --> 00:35:47,404 Your father? 371 00:35:48,007 --> 00:35:49,565 Stepfather? 372 00:35:50,127 --> 00:35:54,757 Sorry, Shirley. I think you'll have to fill in the gaps now. 373 00:35:59,807 --> 00:36:01,604 Oh, don't! 374 00:36:10,247 --> 00:36:14,525 Where do you want me to start? The whole sordid bit? 375 00:36:15,447 --> 00:36:19,963 How a 15-year-old girl was defiled by her wicked uncle? 376 00:36:20,127 --> 00:36:22,436 A man three times her age? 377 00:36:23,567 --> 00:36:29,039 How I suffered in silence, ended up scarred for the rest of my life? 378 00:36:31,407 --> 00:36:33,398 Scarred, yes... 379 00:36:36,127 --> 00:36:38,846 but I enjoyed every minute of it. 380 00:36:40,847 --> 00:36:46,763 Me and my Uncle Bill. It was like suddenly I'd learnt to fly. 381 00:36:46,927 --> 00:36:52,559 I was in love, so I thought. Who cared if we were breaking all the rules? 382 00:36:52,727 --> 00:36:56,197 And then, of course, one day I noticed... 383 00:36:57,007 --> 00:36:59,965 he wasn't an older man any more. 384 00:37:01,127 --> 00:37:03,118 Just an old man. 385 00:37:03,287 --> 00:37:05,357 He wasn't my lover. 386 00:37:06,487 --> 00:37:09,126 He had become my jailer. 387 00:37:10,967 --> 00:37:14,277 Sometimes I'd manage it. Give him the slip. 388 00:37:14,447 --> 00:37:20,522 Maybe for months on end. But he'd always hunt me down. Claw me back into his life. 389 00:37:20,687 --> 00:37:22,484 Eventually... 390 00:37:22,647 --> 00:37:26,401 when I hadn't any skin left to bruise or bones left to break 391 00:37:26,567 --> 00:37:32,164 and the fight had gone out of me... I just gave in and stopped running. 392 00:37:34,127 --> 00:37:37,722 I realised late in the day just how evil he really was... 393 00:37:39,567 --> 00:37:42,286 and I was part of that evil. 394 00:37:44,127 --> 00:37:48,200 For half my life, we kept each other company in hell. 395 00:37:51,047 --> 00:37:54,835 House breaking was one of our many specialities. 396 00:37:55,007 --> 00:37:58,477 I'd call in at the front door, keep them talking, 397 00:37:58,647 --> 00:38:01,445 while he'd slip in and turn the place over. 398 00:38:10,767 --> 00:38:14,885 I told him my car had broken down, could I use his phone? 399 00:38:15,047 --> 00:38:17,515 He couldn't do enough to help me. 400 00:38:28,927 --> 00:38:33,762 Though she died, I swore that everything that was precious about her - 401 00:38:33,927 --> 00:38:35,724 her warmth and kindness... 402 00:38:35,887 --> 00:38:39,880 After all those years on his own, writing another guy's books, 403 00:38:40,047 --> 00:38:42,845 he just wanted someone to talk to. 404 00:38:43,007 --> 00:38:46,522 And suddenly, I've forgotten why I'm there. 405 00:38:46,687 --> 00:38:49,804 I'm just listening to this really sad story. 406 00:38:51,087 --> 00:38:54,716 How he had lost their wife when they were both 18. 407 00:38:54,887 --> 00:39:01,122 And I'm staring into his eyes... all these wild fantasies whirling through my head. 408 00:39:01,287 --> 00:39:06,281 Fantasies I knew could never come to anything. I mean, who the hell was I? 409 00:39:06,447 --> 00:39:09,519 .. And purity and sanctity of her memory. 410 00:39:37,047 --> 00:39:42,565 I don't know. Maybe I hadn't forgotten. Maybe I wanted him to get caught this time. 411 00:39:45,767 --> 00:39:50,204 What the hell do you think you're doing? Get your hands off those! 412 00:39:51,527 --> 00:39:56,203 Come on, then. Let's see what you're going to do about it. 413 00:40:09,847 --> 00:40:11,166 Bill! 414 00:40:15,487 --> 00:40:20,959 He'd killed him. I couldn't believe it. And he didn't care. 415 00:40:22,207 --> 00:40:24,357 By this time, neither did II 416 00:41:14,207 --> 00:41:16,004 Oh, my God! 417 00:41:17,167 --> 00:41:19,078 I'm sorry. 418 00:41:19,247 --> 00:41:25,117 Something was wrong. From the concussion, he could remember a struggle and a knife. 419 00:41:25,287 --> 00:41:27,562 The rest was a blank. 420 00:41:30,487 --> 00:41:33,524 His life, identity, everything. 421 00:41:36,367 --> 00:41:40,838 Maybe I'd never have had the idea if he hadn't said it first. 422 00:41:41,007 --> 00:41:43,567 I killed him. 423 00:41:43,727 --> 00:41:45,718 God help me. 424 00:41:45,887 --> 00:41:48,879 I can't seem to focus. 425 00:41:49,047 --> 00:41:54,041 At that moment, he needed someone and, dear God in heaven, I needed him. 426 00:41:54,207 --> 00:41:55,526 Robin? 427 00:41:55,687 --> 00:41:59,202 I'd known a boy with that name. I couldn't stop myself. 428 00:41:59,367 --> 00:42:01,403 Robin, it's me, Shirley. 429 00:42:01,567 --> 00:42:05,606 You must remember. Shirley, your wife. 430 00:42:05,767 --> 00:42:10,079 Look, it was an accident. You didn't mean to do it. 431 00:42:10,247 --> 00:42:12,238 It was an accident. 432 00:42:16,807 --> 00:42:19,401 But who's going to believe that? 433 00:42:20,647 --> 00:42:25,926 We've got to go. We should never have come to this place. I told you that. 434 00:42:41,687 --> 00:42:48,160 I told myself, convinced myself, that I was helping him escape from that mausoleum. 435 00:42:55,367 --> 00:42:59,963 From now on, his previous life was whatever I wanted it to be. 436 00:43:02,047 --> 00:43:05,722 Gradually, I... rebuilt his memory. 437 00:43:05,887 --> 00:43:10,915 We'd been childhood sweethearts - always on the wrong side of the law. 438 00:43:11,087 --> 00:43:16,241 We'd got to use this experience to sort ourselves out, settle down, 439 00:43:16,407 --> 00:43:18,716 start a family. 440 00:43:23,087 --> 00:43:27,080 It was insanity to believe I could get away with it. 441 00:43:27,727 --> 00:43:31,959 Sooner or later you'd remember, see me for what I was. 442 00:43:32,127 --> 00:43:37,804 18 months. I just lived from day to day clinging to every moment while it lasted. 443 00:43:39,727 --> 00:43:44,118 The one thing I never expected... just couldn't handle... 444 00:43:45,807 --> 00:43:49,402 was that you would find someone else. 445 00:43:54,327 --> 00:43:58,320 You programmed me like some kind of doll. 446 00:43:59,447 --> 00:44:03,725 - You made me think I'd... - That's why you were haunted by it. 447 00:44:03,887 --> 00:44:07,721 When you started writing again, it was a give-away. 448 00:44:07,887 --> 00:44:10,526 Even in a short story for a magazine, 449 00:44:10,687 --> 00:44:14,475 the prose style had an uncanny echo of someone else, 450 00:44:14,647 --> 00:44:20,358 suggesting that Robin Priest and Ezra Carr might just possibly be the same person. 451 00:44:23,407 --> 00:44:27,605 Still, I can't see it. Why can't I see it? 452 00:44:32,047 --> 00:44:38,282 Maybe it's better you don't. 20 years of grief is enough for anyone. 453 00:44:39,367 --> 00:44:43,758 So... we'll have to leave that one with you, folks. 454 00:44:44,647 --> 00:44:48,083 Oh, yes, Mimi. I nearly forgot. 455 00:44:48,247 --> 00:44:53,799 You must be going mental by now wondering how I disappeared from that room. 456 00:44:53,967 --> 00:44:56,276 Oh, yes, actually. 457 00:44:57,287 --> 00:44:59,005 Oh, good. Bye. 458 00:45:09,207 --> 00:45:13,723 - You planning to water the carpet? - It's for the window box. 459 00:45:14,447 --> 00:45:18,235 - You haven't got a... - Never you mind what it's for. 460 00:45:18,407 --> 00:45:21,046 In case I need it... suddenly. 461 00:45:22,247 --> 00:45:24,841 One thing you still haven't told me, 462 00:45:25,007 --> 00:45:30,035 with all your masterful deductions in this case, is what gave me away. 463 00:45:30,207 --> 00:45:33,005 You didn't tumble it straight away. 464 00:45:33,167 --> 00:45:39,117 I think what sealed it, in hindsight, is when we heard that noise on the landing. 465 00:45:39,287 --> 00:45:41,084 What's that? 466 00:45:42,327 --> 00:45:44,636 It's coming from the attic room. 467 00:45:46,247 --> 00:45:50,240 How did you know that was the door to an attic room? 468 00:45:50,407 --> 00:45:55,037 You'd never set foot in there before. Or maybe you had. 469 00:45:56,087 --> 00:46:00,956 Maybe you'd paid a little visit earlier on to try and get ahead of the game. 470 00:46:04,887 --> 00:46:10,007 Ran into the decorators and hatched a rather dastardly plan. 471 00:46:10,167 --> 00:46:13,318 Oh, but it was a gift, Jonathan. 472 00:46:14,567 --> 00:46:18,276 Two doors - one into a corridor, one into a cupboard. 473 00:46:18,447 --> 00:46:20,915 Now I'm starting to think like you. 474 00:46:21,087 --> 00:46:25,877 What if the one on the right was blocked off on the inside? 475 00:46:26,047 --> 00:46:29,039 Plastered over to make it look like a wall. 476 00:46:29,207 --> 00:46:32,085 The possibilities were joyous - 477 00:46:32,247 --> 00:46:36,923 worth a backhander to the lads who'd have to make it right again. 478 00:46:37,087 --> 00:46:42,400 They were so up for it when I told them about Mimi. They'd done such a fab job. 479 00:46:43,567 --> 00:46:45,876 - You there yet? - Just coming. 480 00:46:51,927 --> 00:46:59,003 Madam comes in. She's absolutely no idea she's shouting into a cupboard. 481 00:46:59,167 --> 00:47:03,080 - Maddy, are you out there? - She's in there with you. 482 00:47:03,247 --> 00:47:05,238 I wish I'd seen her face. 483 00:47:05,407 --> 00:47:07,398 No, she's not. 484 00:47:07,567 --> 00:47:12,482 My favourite bit of improv was when I heard you rattling the door handle. 485 00:47:17,407 --> 00:47:19,841 Come on, then. Marks out of ten. 486 00:47:20,727 --> 00:47:24,197 Hmm. A grudging six. 487 00:47:24,367 --> 00:47:27,120 Oh, that's got to be a nine in anyone's... 488 00:47:30,847 --> 00:47:33,839 Out in the bloody road this time! 489 00:47:34,007 --> 00:47:40,162 Well, I'm sorry, but they're going to find out what "anti-social" really means. 490 00:47:42,287 --> 00:47:45,882 Let's see how you play with this up your spout! 491 00:48:00,847 --> 00:48:03,725 Right. You wait there, I'll... 492 00:48:03,887 --> 00:48:05,206 get a cloth.