1 00:00:49,687 --> 00:00:52,281 You think he's here yet? 2 00:00:52,447 --> 00:00:55,519 No sign of life. No car or anything. 3 00:00:55,687 --> 00:01:01,444 Geiger's not human. Probably turned himself into a bat and flew here. 4 00:01:01,607 --> 00:01:05,282 That's not funny, Joe. In a place like this. 5 00:01:07,087 --> 00:01:09,078 Come on. 6 00:01:56,607 --> 00:02:00,077 You ignored my instructions about coming alone. 7 00:02:00,247 --> 00:02:05,196 Me and Karen are in this together. So if you've got a problem with that... 8 00:02:05,367 --> 00:02:07,835 If I've got a problem, Floyd... 9 00:02:09,407 --> 00:02:11,523 I'll find a solution. 10 00:02:12,927 --> 00:02:15,236 But now she's here... 11 00:02:17,367 --> 00:02:19,801 maybe she can warm us all up. 12 00:02:22,727 --> 00:02:27,437 We're out of coal. You'll have to improvise. 13 00:02:36,727 --> 00:02:41,847 You hit the island, the first thing you do is ring a man named Cordila... 14 00:02:43,207 --> 00:02:45,198 on this number. 15 00:02:46,367 --> 00:02:51,566 When you get back with the stuff, you ring me to say everything's fine. 16 00:02:51,727 --> 00:02:56,721 I'll call our friend in Amsterdam and send someone over to make sure it's all pukka. 17 00:02:56,887 --> 00:03:02,439 The handover will take place here, and that's when you'll get your pocket money. 18 00:03:05,407 --> 00:03:07,125 Questions? 19 00:03:08,447 --> 00:03:10,915 No. I was just thinking... 20 00:03:11,527 --> 00:03:16,476 if we had the big money man's number, we could ring him. Save you the bother. 21 00:03:16,647 --> 00:03:22,324 You'll need that sense of humour when I decorate the ceiling with your brains. 22 00:04:42,567 --> 00:04:44,285 Get your hands off her. 23 00:04:44,447 --> 00:04:50,716 That's OK, Floyd. It was a strictly hands-free operation I had in mind. 24 00:05:06,447 --> 00:05:09,200 Hey, listen, Frankie. Steady. 25 00:05:09,927 --> 00:05:14,045 You want to cut out the middle man? Go over my head? 26 00:05:14,207 --> 00:05:17,244 - Come on. - Maybe I'll go over your head. 27 00:05:18,367 --> 00:05:22,201 Maybe I'll go right through your greedy little skull. 28 00:06:46,447 --> 00:06:49,359 What are you doing? 29 00:06:50,407 --> 00:06:52,921 No one's gonna find him here. 30 00:06:53,087 --> 00:06:55,078 It's what you said. 31 00:06:56,807 --> 00:06:59,275 The guy wasn't human. 32 00:07:00,607 --> 00:07:03,326 Let's get the hell out of here. 33 00:07:41,847 --> 00:07:45,999 "Cards As Weapons". You star. Where did you track this down? 34 00:07:46,167 --> 00:07:50,080 I actually had to trudge round every bookshop in New York. 35 00:07:50,247 --> 00:07:54,445 This guy does a two-hour show, nothing but card manipulation. 36 00:07:54,607 --> 00:07:58,885 He makes them fly around, chop candles in half. It's riveting. 37 00:07:59,607 --> 00:08:01,837 See this, Adam? Ricky Jay. 38 00:08:02,007 --> 00:08:07,320 Let me add to the birthday honours with a little token to make your day complete. 39 00:08:12,807 --> 00:08:16,163 A set of Adam Klaus bathroom products. 40 00:08:16,327 --> 00:08:19,683 Merchandising must be tasteful, not tacky. 41 00:08:19,847 --> 00:08:25,205 - You've got your magic foaming crystals. - Flannel for my face. 42 00:08:25,367 --> 00:08:27,835 - You could use it anywhere. - Later. 43 00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:30,396 Tonight I thought we'd celebrate. 44 00:08:30,567 --> 00:08:33,718 - Anywhere you want to go. My treat. - Really? 45 00:08:44,927 --> 00:08:47,964 Ladies and gentlemen, back at the Trick Joint, 46 00:08:48,127 --> 00:08:52,837 put your hands together, please, and pray for Lizzie Gillespie! 47 00:08:53,007 --> 00:08:54,565 Thank you! 48 00:08:56,887 --> 00:08:59,799 I'd like to try something different tonight. 49 00:08:59,967 --> 00:09:03,403 Who's going to help me? Sir? 50 00:09:04,047 --> 00:09:07,562 I'd like you to pick one of these at random. 51 00:09:09,247 --> 00:09:12,557 Peel it, show the audience. Don't let me see. 52 00:09:12,727 --> 00:09:16,037 And put it back again any way you like. 53 00:09:17,527 --> 00:09:21,156 How much would it blow your mind if I was to show you 54 00:09:21,327 --> 00:09:24,956 it has completely vanished! 55 00:09:26,767 --> 00:09:32,842 Now put your hand in your left pocket and place any loose change on the table. 56 00:09:35,047 --> 00:09:38,198 Tell me, sir, is that your banana? 57 00:09:38,367 --> 00:09:42,440 Is it bollocks! Now put your hand in your right pocket. 58 00:09:42,607 --> 00:09:44,996 That's it. And open it. 59 00:09:47,807 --> 00:09:50,765 Thank you. You may now applaud! 60 00:09:54,527 --> 00:09:56,802 What kind of dumb-ass act was that? 61 00:09:56,967 --> 00:10:00,437 I've seen horse shit that was less full of horse shit. 62 00:10:00,607 --> 00:10:04,839 It's called "subverting the form. " It's what keeps culture alive. 63 00:10:05,007 --> 00:10:09,046 With all the rubbish, you can get fresh, exciting ideas. 64 00:10:11,767 --> 00:10:16,921 There's nothing funny about cold fingers. They need some heating in this place. 65 00:10:17,087 --> 00:10:22,445 There's nothing irregular? The dolly has not been interfered with in any way? 66 00:10:22,607 --> 00:10:25,644 All right! What if I did? She was hot for it. 67 00:10:25,807 --> 00:10:28,879 Now we place the doll inside the casket. 68 00:10:29,047 --> 00:10:33,006 And when I take my hand off the box, 69 00:10:33,167 --> 00:10:38,525 I want you please to cleave it cleanly in two. 70 00:10:39,967 --> 00:10:44,882 Not the hand, the box, you cretin! Quick, the tourniquet! 71 00:10:46,207 --> 00:10:50,644 For God's sake, out of the way. Help me get her on her back. 72 00:10:50,807 --> 00:10:55,756 - No. You could paralyse her for life. - She's probably just fainted. 73 00:10:55,927 --> 00:11:00,000 She's not exactly underweight. It's cardiovascular. Her face is blue. 74 00:11:00,167 --> 00:11:04,399 - In the blue light! I'm turning her over. - Now she's a cabbage. 75 00:11:04,567 --> 00:11:08,242 - Do you know how to do this? - Firm pressure on the breast bone. 76 00:11:08,407 --> 00:11:13,561 - You don't press it there, press here... - Yes! All right, thank you! 77 00:11:13,727 --> 00:11:16,639 We've established the cantaloupe's fresh. 78 00:11:16,807 --> 00:11:20,880 I wouldn't last five minutes with you lot faffing round me. 79 00:11:21,047 --> 00:11:26,724 - Great. So you were just... - Trying to scare the shit out of everyone? 80 00:11:26,887 --> 00:11:29,720 Hysterical, wasn't it? 81 00:11:29,887 --> 00:11:32,685 Sorry. I've had my fill of this lot tonight. 82 00:11:34,007 --> 00:11:36,919 Back to my place to blow out your candles? 83 00:11:37,087 --> 00:11:41,877 There's a couple more acts I wouldn't mind seeing. If you two want to split... 84 00:11:42,047 --> 00:11:45,005 OK. Come back whenever. I'll still be up. 85 00:11:45,167 --> 00:11:51,117 And while you're giving me a lift, explain what you meant by "not exactly underweight. " 86 00:11:54,647 --> 00:11:57,400 - You Jonathan Creek? - Sorry? 87 00:11:57,567 --> 00:12:03,563 My name's Karen Blaine. I can't talk here. Could you spare me five minutes? 88 00:12:34,607 --> 00:12:37,838 If this is a murder, you should talk to the police. 89 00:12:38,007 --> 00:12:42,000 The police were there. They saw it. We all saw it. 90 00:12:43,247 --> 00:12:46,284 I never want to see anything like it again. 91 00:12:49,327 --> 00:12:53,002 It's like Joe was right. He wasn't human. 92 00:12:54,247 --> 00:12:56,238 So what the hell was he? 93 00:12:58,847 --> 00:13:01,566 OK. Order of events. 94 00:13:03,247 --> 00:13:06,125 I was working in this pub as a barmaid 95 00:13:06,287 --> 00:13:08,642 and that's where I met him. 96 00:13:08,807 --> 00:13:14,518 Floyd Goodman. He'd been a professional boxer, but it hadn't worked out. 97 00:13:15,527 --> 00:13:20,920 Wasn't much in his life had worked out. The two of us just seemed to click. 98 00:13:21,727 --> 00:13:25,003 Three of them used to go to this betting shop next door. 99 00:13:25,167 --> 00:13:27,635 Floyd, this other guy Joe... 100 00:13:28,647 --> 00:13:30,956 and Geiger, 101 00:13:31,127 --> 00:13:33,925 who you just knew was pure evil. 102 00:13:36,167 --> 00:13:40,160 It turned out he had these connections - drug dealers - 103 00:13:40,327 --> 00:13:46,357 who needed some innocent-looking tourists to fly to Haiti and bring some stuff back. 104 00:13:48,087 --> 00:13:50,726 How he found that place, God only knows. 105 00:13:50,887 --> 00:13:53,720 This derelict old farmhouse that... 106 00:13:54,807 --> 00:13:58,959 we could feel something horrible was going to happen. 107 00:14:20,007 --> 00:14:23,795 Of course, Joe had never trusted Geiger. Who would? 108 00:14:23,967 --> 00:14:26,765 But now he had his book with the numbers. 109 00:14:28,527 --> 00:14:34,921 Once we got back, he was going to deal with them direct - the big boys on the continent. 110 00:14:35,887 --> 00:14:38,640 Except he never got back. 111 00:14:38,807 --> 00:14:41,844 The police must have had a tip-off. 112 00:14:44,647 --> 00:14:46,922 Go! Go! 113 00:14:51,607 --> 00:14:54,724 Floyd and me managed to get clear. 114 00:15:02,847 --> 00:15:07,637 For a couple of months, we went to ground, till it was safe to move. 115 00:15:08,647 --> 00:15:11,115 That's when the rot set in with Floyd. 116 00:15:13,247 --> 00:15:18,526 It only took a couple of locals filling his head with voodoo and witchcraft stuff... 117 00:15:19,367 --> 00:15:24,316 to convince him that Joe's death was Geiger's revenge from beyond the grave. 118 00:15:25,767 --> 00:15:28,076 And that he was next. 119 00:15:33,887 --> 00:15:37,084 It just totally seemed to turn his brain. 120 00:15:39,327 --> 00:15:43,798 By the time we got back last week, he'd decided it was all a mistake. 121 00:15:43,967 --> 00:15:48,006 He was going to go to the police and hope for the best. 122 00:15:49,887 --> 00:15:52,924 I said of course I'd stick by him, but... 123 00:15:56,407 --> 00:15:59,444 if I'd known what it was going to lead to. 124 00:15:59,607 --> 00:16:03,441 To check our story, they took us back to Frog Hollow. 125 00:16:09,007 --> 00:16:12,886 This is exactly how you left it three months ago? 126 00:16:14,647 --> 00:16:16,638 I locked the door... 127 00:16:17,927 --> 00:16:20,316 threw the key in the river. 128 00:16:57,407 --> 00:16:59,204 Aagh! 129 00:17:20,127 --> 00:17:23,563 When Geiger went in that cellar, he was dead. 130 00:17:25,647 --> 00:17:29,117 With six bullets in his head and no heartbeat. 131 00:17:29,287 --> 00:17:33,758 The room was empty. There's no way that door had been opened. 132 00:17:33,927 --> 00:17:37,442 How can a corpse crawl up a flight of steps? 133 00:17:40,127 --> 00:17:45,599 - If that's it, I'll be getting back... - Please! I can prove this is on the level. 134 00:17:45,767 --> 00:17:50,557 They've remanded Floyd in custody, me on bail, for what happened. 135 00:17:50,727 --> 00:17:53,844 He's halfway to losing his mind over this. 136 00:17:54,007 --> 00:17:57,795 Geiger's spirit's still out there. He's convinced. 137 00:17:58,567 --> 00:18:02,037 Undead. Like some kind of zombie. 138 00:18:02,967 --> 00:18:05,481 And he's going to come for him. 139 00:18:06,327 --> 00:18:09,046 I heard you were someone who could... 140 00:18:10,887 --> 00:18:14,846 Go on, then. Piss off. I should never have troubled you. 141 00:18:20,647 --> 00:18:23,878 I know you're still up. What's this all about? 142 00:18:27,327 --> 00:18:31,161 Are you going to open this door? I know you can hear me... 143 00:18:46,647 --> 00:18:48,877 What have we here? 144 00:18:49,047 --> 00:18:53,484 Shortlisted for Best Male TV Illusionist. Grovesnor House on the 23rd. 145 00:18:56,287 --> 00:18:59,802 Amazing. You wouldn't think that was possible. 146 00:18:59,967 --> 00:19:04,245 Same as a hurricane driving a blade of grass into a tree. 147 00:19:04,407 --> 00:19:07,797 Shortlisted. Maybe they haven't made a decision. 148 00:19:07,967 --> 00:19:11,323 Use it for your after-dinners. It's in the wrist action. 149 00:19:11,487 --> 00:19:14,081 With my luck, I'd take a few toupees off. 150 00:19:14,247 --> 00:19:17,319 Talking of wrist action, Jonathan Ross called. 151 00:19:17,487 --> 00:19:21,275 I agreed to do his talk show at a drunken Bar Mitzvah last week. 152 00:19:21,447 --> 00:19:26,521 I wonder if I should cancel. The guy's so hip and subtextual with the audience. 153 00:19:26,687 --> 00:19:31,203 Last time he said two words and the whole place fell about laughing. 154 00:19:31,367 --> 00:19:33,562 "Nice suit", wasn't it? 155 00:19:33,727 --> 00:19:36,195 Right. Was is that? Some sort of code? 156 00:19:36,367 --> 00:19:41,077 But make a good impression and the Magic Awards people might be watching. 157 00:19:41,247 --> 00:19:45,479 That's right. And you know what carries weight with those guys? 158 00:19:45,647 --> 00:19:47,956 .. My extensive charity work. 159 00:19:48,127 --> 00:19:52,484 It's not something I like to do a big number on. 160 00:19:52,647 --> 00:19:55,366 - No problem. - Don't get me wrong. 161 00:19:56,527 --> 00:19:58,961 I'm not trying to dictate Jonathan's agenda. 162 00:19:59,127 --> 00:20:03,200 I just happen to believe - would this were true of all my peers - 163 00:20:03,367 --> 00:20:07,440 that with success and wealth comes responsibility. 164 00:20:07,607 --> 00:20:10,201 Ultimately, virtue can be its own reward. 165 00:20:11,807 --> 00:20:16,005 Just a breakdown of my unpaid appearances for the year. 166 00:20:16,167 --> 00:20:18,965 For deep background, whatever. 167 00:20:25,967 --> 00:20:27,446 Jonathan Creek. 168 00:20:28,287 --> 00:20:30,243 At last! 169 00:20:30,407 --> 00:20:32,875 I've been trying to get you all morning. 170 00:20:33,047 --> 00:20:37,120 Assuming you saw me go off with that woman, to explain. 171 00:20:37,287 --> 00:20:41,519 I know. It was just me being a complete arsehole again. Sorry. 172 00:20:41,687 --> 00:20:44,326 Do you want me to come over? 173 00:20:45,207 --> 00:20:48,165 I suppose I could be there for... 174 00:20:48,327 --> 00:20:52,366 What is it now? 13.29 just gone. 175 00:20:53,847 --> 00:20:56,156 - Half one? - Great. That'd be... 176 00:21:01,167 --> 00:21:06,036 You think I killed him. I only killed a part of him. 177 00:21:07,727 --> 00:21:09,718 The part you can see. 178 00:21:11,367 --> 00:21:14,165 A guy like Geiger can't be destroyed. 179 00:21:15,047 --> 00:21:17,686 We've seen what he can do. 180 00:21:18,607 --> 00:21:22,646 - Even when he's dead. - Floyd, pull yourself together. 181 00:21:22,807 --> 00:21:27,676 I know that's hard because we're all freaked out by this, but... 182 00:21:29,127 --> 00:21:32,597 There's some people here. Maybe if we just... 183 00:21:32,767 --> 00:21:37,795 At night's the worst. When he tells me what he's going to do to me. 184 00:21:39,287 --> 00:21:41,357 To you, if I talk. 185 00:21:43,087 --> 00:21:45,726 You don't want to know, Karen. 186 00:21:46,607 --> 00:21:49,246 The vile things he says. 187 00:21:49,967 --> 00:21:52,765 I wouldn't let him harm you for anything. 188 00:21:55,247 --> 00:21:57,841 You're the only thing keeping me sane. 189 00:21:58,007 --> 00:22:00,646 I think you see our problem. 190 00:22:00,807 --> 00:22:05,756 Not exactly. What did he mean about what he'd do to him if he talked? 191 00:22:05,927 --> 00:22:07,918 Talked about what? 192 00:22:08,087 --> 00:22:13,764 Look, if you can explain to me how a man who's certifiably dead, 193 00:22:13,927 --> 00:22:17,283 whose brain is in 27 pieces inside his skull, 194 00:22:17,447 --> 00:22:20,086 could have hauled himself up those steps... 195 00:22:21,047 --> 00:22:24,437 I don't deny it would assist my digestion. 196 00:22:25,647 --> 00:22:29,686 - I also have to look at the bigger picture. - Which is? 197 00:22:30,527 --> 00:22:35,726 Frank Geiger was the contact for a major drug dealer operating out of Amsterdam. 198 00:22:35,887 --> 00:22:38,447 Whose name and number were in that book. 199 00:22:38,607 --> 00:22:41,599 Which has now gone missing. 200 00:22:41,767 --> 00:22:44,804 The police in Haiti couldn't find it on Wheeler. 201 00:22:44,967 --> 00:22:49,438 Maybe he memorised the contents and destroyed it. We don't know. 202 00:22:49,607 --> 00:22:54,362 The one piece of evidence that would have led us straight to our man. 203 00:22:55,247 --> 00:23:01,277 But then, as we were driving out to this haunted farmhouse or whatever it is... 204 00:23:02,167 --> 00:23:04,158 it hits me. 205 00:23:05,167 --> 00:23:10,400 One thing we're all forgetting. There was another copy of that name and number. 206 00:23:10,567 --> 00:23:15,880 The one that Wheeler wrote down and Geiger grabbed back and put in his pocket. 207 00:23:16,047 --> 00:23:19,960 Well... It had to still be there, didn't it? 208 00:23:54,847 --> 00:23:58,840 There's another riddle to add to our collection. 209 00:23:59,007 --> 00:24:02,477 Miss Blaine, could you hand me that SOCO report? 210 00:24:15,047 --> 00:24:17,845 Maybe someone managed to switch it. 211 00:24:18,007 --> 00:24:20,999 For an exact duplicate that was blank? 212 00:24:21,167 --> 00:24:23,283 Returning to your question. 213 00:24:23,447 --> 00:24:28,805 Our friend downstairs is the one person still alive who saw what was in the book. 214 00:24:28,967 --> 00:24:32,846 Anything he can give us - a name, half a name - is a start. 215 00:24:33,007 --> 00:24:38,479 What's he going to tell you in his state? You've seen the effect all this has had. 216 00:24:38,647 --> 00:24:43,801 We're losing him. It's like this power... whatever it is... 217 00:24:44,567 --> 00:24:47,286 it's slowly starting to take over. 218 00:24:48,247 --> 00:24:51,319 I'm just scared that unless we do something... 219 00:24:52,327 --> 00:24:54,841 we're not going to get him back. 220 00:25:01,247 --> 00:25:06,037 Do you have a coin I can borrow? Maybe in your right-hand jacket pocket? 221 00:25:08,127 --> 00:25:13,326 I never thought I'd say this on TV. I really didn't feel the banana going in. 222 00:25:13,487 --> 00:25:17,002 How about the other one? 223 00:25:17,167 --> 00:25:21,683 I see. You want me to unzip and see if I recognise what's inside? 224 00:25:21,847 --> 00:25:26,841 Ladies and gentlemen, you're watching "George and Mildred" on UK Gold. There. 225 00:25:27,007 --> 00:25:31,046 - You may applaud. - But will they? Yes. 226 00:25:31,207 --> 00:25:33,926 You're getting a bit off-the-wall. 227 00:25:34,087 --> 00:25:37,397 I like to "subvert the form" now and then. 228 00:25:37,567 --> 00:25:39,762 Yeah, with my actI 229 00:25:39,927 --> 00:25:42,487 Adam, let me ask you about the girlfriends. 230 00:25:42,647 --> 00:25:48,199 There all seem to crop up in the act. Is this like the Sorcerer's Apprentice? 231 00:25:48,367 --> 00:25:51,200 You saw one in half and she keeps dividing? 232 00:25:51,367 --> 00:25:53,722 - Something like thatI - OK. 233 00:25:53,887 --> 00:25:57,926 Let me ask you about something you do take seriously - charity work. 234 00:25:58,087 --> 00:25:59,884 ScumbagI 235 00:26:00,047 --> 00:26:03,084 You're involved in a lot of deserving causes. 236 00:26:03,247 --> 00:26:08,844 ShameI Shame on youI I can't believe you can do that, you complete arseholeI 237 00:26:09,007 --> 00:26:12,443 Just rip off someone's material like thatI 238 00:26:12,607 --> 00:26:17,078 This man could toss for EnglandI He is such a phoneyI 239 00:26:17,247 --> 00:26:20,284 You should all walk out in disgustI 240 00:26:20,447 --> 00:26:24,406 I invite you to follow me through this exit... 241 00:26:51,767 --> 00:26:57,160 It's just one long endless merry-go-round coming out with you in a car. 242 00:26:57,327 --> 00:26:59,602 "Let's take a shortcut!" 243 00:26:59,767 --> 00:27:02,440 The grass is more moist than I expected. 244 00:27:02,607 --> 00:27:07,078 Moist?! We're driving through the Great Grimpon Mire! What...? 245 00:27:10,047 --> 00:27:11,639 What? 246 00:27:11,807 --> 00:27:15,800 I was just thinking those pink extensions really suit you. 247 00:27:23,287 --> 00:27:25,357 Jelly baby? 248 00:27:25,527 --> 00:27:30,681 We know from the post-mortem that Geiger was dead when they chucked him down there, 249 00:27:30,847 --> 00:27:35,284 but how do we know someone hadn't got in using a second key, 250 00:27:35,447 --> 00:27:38,678 moved the body and barricaded the door again? 251 00:27:38,847 --> 00:27:44,444 They had to break that thing into pieces to get it out. That cupboard hadn't been moved. 252 00:27:44,607 --> 00:27:49,761 - There was another way into the cellar. - The police didn't even find a mouse hole. 253 00:27:49,927 --> 00:27:53,522 Fine. Just checking it is completely impossible. 254 00:27:53,687 --> 00:27:57,680 That we didn't have a case that was beneath your superhuman powers. 255 00:27:57,847 --> 00:28:03,558 - He who knows absolutely everything. - Is this still about that Witchdoctor song? 256 00:28:03,727 --> 00:28:09,563 Jonathan, as far as I'm concerned, the subject's closed. You're so cocksure. 257 00:28:10,447 --> 00:28:14,759 Ooh eeh ooh ah ah bing bang wallah wallah bing bang. 258 00:28:14,927 --> 00:28:18,840 Ooh eeh ooh ah ah ding dang wallah lollah don lang! 259 00:28:19,007 --> 00:28:22,443 Don lang?! Don Lang was the bloke who sang it? 260 00:28:22,607 --> 00:28:25,599 In your dreams. That was Charlie Drake. 261 00:28:25,767 --> 00:28:30,238 At no point in history did Charlie Drake sing "My Friend the Witchdoctor". 262 00:28:30,407 --> 00:28:33,763 He goes to see one because his boomerang won't come back. 263 00:28:33,927 --> 00:28:38,523 That was "My Boomerang Won't Come Back"! There isn't a witchdoctor in it! 264 00:28:39,807 --> 00:28:43,436 I wish we'd never got onto the subject of voodoo. 265 00:28:44,447 --> 00:28:47,041 You'd argue black was blue... 266 00:28:48,927 --> 00:28:50,519 What? 267 00:28:51,447 --> 00:28:53,438 What are you seeing? 268 00:28:53,607 --> 00:28:58,601 I just thought there'd be some sort of police presence here still. 269 00:29:00,167 --> 00:29:01,964 Evidently not. 270 00:29:02,727 --> 00:29:04,797 Come on. 271 00:29:11,167 --> 00:29:15,683 How about if the writing on that paper was done in special ink, 272 00:29:15,847 --> 00:29:18,839 designed to fade before anyone could see it? 273 00:29:19,007 --> 00:29:25,037 The dead body was dragged up the steps by some rope that was fed underneath the door. 274 00:29:25,207 --> 00:29:27,243 The motive, obviously, 275 00:29:27,407 --> 00:29:31,878 was to turn our ex-boxer into a gibbering wreck so he'd be too scared to... 276 00:29:32,047 --> 00:29:34,402 Just slow down. 277 00:29:34,567 --> 00:29:39,163 Stop thinking with your mouth and give your brain a chance to function. 278 00:29:39,327 --> 00:29:43,366 How do you connect a rope to a body through a cupboard and a door? 279 00:29:43,527 --> 00:29:46,724 Why would Wheeler use disappearing ink? 280 00:29:46,887 --> 00:29:51,915 If they wanted to keep Floyd quiet, why not put a bullet in his brain? 281 00:29:52,087 --> 00:29:55,716 You've got to clear your mind of "obviouslys". 282 00:29:56,847 --> 00:29:59,122 Let it all bed in. 283 00:29:59,287 --> 00:30:01,482 And observe. 284 00:30:03,407 --> 00:30:05,637 - What's that? - Dunno. 285 00:30:06,647 --> 00:30:08,638 Old cigarette card. 286 00:30:09,647 --> 00:30:11,842 So... OK, then. 287 00:30:13,167 --> 00:30:15,635 Into the bowels of hell. 288 00:30:29,847 --> 00:30:33,317 See what they meant about the stench of death. 289 00:30:33,487 --> 00:30:39,084 That'll be me. I'm wearing Calvin Klein "Stench of Death" parfum de toilette. 290 00:30:39,247 --> 00:30:41,044 After you. 291 00:31:15,327 --> 00:31:19,366 I'm not just saying this because of the other night, but... 292 00:31:20,327 --> 00:31:25,276 There's something about that Karen woman keeps niggling at me. 293 00:31:26,527 --> 00:31:28,597 It's like that thing you say - 294 00:31:28,767 --> 00:31:33,921 you know you've spotted something wrong but you can't work out what it was. 295 00:31:35,207 --> 00:31:37,004 It'll come to me. 296 00:31:40,167 --> 00:31:45,366 It doesn't half change your perspective on all this when you get here. 297 00:31:46,367 --> 00:31:49,757 Like spending the night in the Chamber of Horrors. 298 00:31:49,927 --> 00:31:53,966 You can see how you could lose your grip on reality. 299 00:31:54,127 --> 00:31:59,804 - Are you sitting on Sir Denis Compton? - Fresh air's probably what we need. 300 00:31:59,967 --> 00:32:06,679 No, it's all right. Here he is. Hiding in the corner. 301 00:32:06,847 --> 00:32:09,725 Are you taking leave of your senses? 302 00:32:09,887 --> 00:32:13,562 - Possibly, but I haven't just eaten a slug. - No, but... 303 00:32:15,327 --> 00:32:17,682 Aagh! Oh! 304 00:32:17,847 --> 00:32:19,360 Oh, God! 305 00:32:19,527 --> 00:32:22,917 You bastard! How could you let me do that? 306 00:32:29,767 --> 00:32:32,565 What have you found over there anyway? 307 00:32:32,727 --> 00:32:38,165 Quite enough to confirm we're not dealing with zombies or witchcraft here. 308 00:32:38,967 --> 00:32:43,165 In fact, this is as fascinating a solution as I've ever come... 309 00:33:05,047 --> 00:33:06,526 Aagh! 310 00:33:08,287 --> 00:33:10,926 I'm just being dumb about this. 311 00:33:11,087 --> 00:33:14,079 It was probably cut and dried weeks ago. 312 00:33:14,247 --> 00:33:19,241 If you've won, you always know. Always. I've heard that said many times... 313 00:33:19,407 --> 00:33:22,717 Harry! How are you doing? Adam. 314 00:33:22,887 --> 00:33:28,200 You pipped me to the post, you old rascal. It couldn't have gone to a nicer guy. 315 00:33:28,767 --> 00:33:31,600 The Magic Awards. Oh, you haven't? 316 00:33:31,767 --> 00:33:36,795 That's the whisper that's been going around, but you didn't hear it from me. 317 00:33:36,967 --> 00:33:40,004 Anyway, just wanted you to know I'm thrilled. 318 00:33:40,167 --> 00:33:42,806 OK. Bye. 319 00:33:44,447 --> 00:33:46,438 So it's not him. 320 00:33:48,647 --> 00:33:53,926 Remember, left wrist under right to create the slack, then spring the thumb knots open. 321 00:33:54,087 --> 00:33:57,443 Louisa! What's happening? It's Adam. 322 00:33:57,607 --> 00:34:00,121 Listen, don't bother him if he's busy. 323 00:34:00,287 --> 00:34:05,884 Just give your husband a big wet kiss from me and tell him I still love him. 324 00:34:08,127 --> 00:34:12,962 Adam Klaus. You hadn't heard? The Magic Awards. 325 00:34:13,127 --> 00:34:17,279 A little bird tells me you'll be drinking champagne on Sunday. 326 00:34:17,447 --> 00:34:20,120 Well, you'd better believe it. 327 00:34:20,287 --> 00:34:24,439 And no sour grapes. Just say to him I'm thrilled. 328 00:34:25,367 --> 00:34:28,359 OK. See you there. Bye. 329 00:34:29,967 --> 00:34:31,480 Interesting. 330 00:34:31,647 --> 00:34:36,323 Well, who knows? The theory may be wrong. No one's been told anything. 331 00:34:36,487 --> 00:34:40,844 Hi. Is that the very wonderful Deborah Cadabara? 332 00:34:41,527 --> 00:34:46,203 Fellow nominee Adam Klaus here ringing to say congratulations... 333 00:34:50,847 --> 00:34:52,838 You're welcome. 334 00:34:53,927 --> 00:34:56,395 When did you hear? A couple of weeks ago? 335 00:34:58,727 --> 00:35:01,799 No, of course. Not officially till the night. 336 00:35:03,047 --> 00:35:06,323 I just wanted you to know... you know... 337 00:35:07,607 --> 00:35:09,404 I'm thrilled. 338 00:35:10,127 --> 00:35:12,595 OK. Bye. 339 00:35:14,407 --> 00:35:19,879 Deborah Cadabara! They're giving Best Male Illusionist to a drag act! 340 00:35:20,047 --> 00:35:22,800 What he's got wouldn't fill a Twinkie wrapper! 341 00:35:24,527 --> 00:35:29,965 We were just saying it's funny there wasn't someone here what with what's happened. 342 00:35:30,127 --> 00:35:34,120 I've just been trying to radio in, but my battery's flat. 343 00:35:34,287 --> 00:35:39,042 No one's coming to relieve me till five. Talk about feeling cut off. 344 00:35:39,887 --> 00:35:44,278 Derek Spratley. This ain't a place to come to for a picnic. 345 00:35:44,447 --> 00:35:49,237 You've got international drug barons operating out of here. 346 00:35:49,407 --> 00:35:52,205 - There was a bloke in the cellar... - We know. 347 00:35:52,367 --> 00:35:55,837 - Brain had been mashed to a pulp. - So we heard. 348 00:35:56,007 --> 00:36:01,718 Six bullet holes in the head! Just stay put, they said, and keep your eyes peeled. 349 00:36:01,887 --> 00:36:07,086 Who knows what they've got stashed away, and if they come back, we'll have them. 350 00:36:07,247 --> 00:36:11,081 But I'm here if the cast of "Goodfellas" suddenly turns up. 351 00:36:11,247 --> 00:36:13,238 Yeah. Well... 352 00:36:13,407 --> 00:36:17,923 We're not going to get far without assistance now. Where's your phone? 353 00:36:18,087 --> 00:36:21,159 Oh... Still in the car. 354 00:36:21,327 --> 00:36:26,959 Sorry. I put it in the glove compartment when we... Sorry. 355 00:37:07,327 --> 00:37:11,445 So this might have been used as more than just a meeting place? 356 00:37:11,607 --> 00:37:14,724 There might be drugs still on the premises? 357 00:37:14,887 --> 00:37:18,960 Yeah. But they wouldn't risk coming back for them now. 358 00:37:20,087 --> 00:37:25,559 Not now the police are around. Depends how desperate they are. You just don't... 359 00:37:36,567 --> 00:37:38,558 Oh, dear God. 360 00:37:38,727 --> 00:37:42,356 - How long ago did he call? - A good two hours. 361 00:37:42,527 --> 00:37:46,281 He'd seen this guy prowling round, thought he was armed. 362 00:37:46,447 --> 00:37:51,157 Maybe he's been sent by our Dutch friend to do a final sweep of the premises, 363 00:37:51,327 --> 00:37:55,286 remove anything that shouldn't be there. Who knows? 364 00:37:55,447 --> 00:37:58,837 Not the sort of man you want to mess with. 365 00:38:17,687 --> 00:38:21,157 OK. You want to go in by some subtle means, 366 00:38:21,327 --> 00:38:24,956 get her arse out and yours, then leave it to us. 367 00:38:26,087 --> 00:38:27,679 We're too late. 368 00:38:27,847 --> 00:38:34,525 OK! Listen up out here! Important things you should know. 369 00:38:34,687 --> 00:38:37,076 I'm not a real policeman! 370 00:38:37,247 --> 00:38:40,125 I'm also not a very nice person. 371 00:38:41,207 --> 00:38:45,246 The people I work for don't pay me to be nice. 372 00:38:46,247 --> 00:38:51,685 Last count, I killed 11 people, and we can make it 12. 373 00:38:53,127 --> 00:38:55,925 The decision's yours. 374 00:38:56,887 --> 00:39:00,482 Or you can back off away from that jeep. 375 00:39:01,687 --> 00:39:03,723 Get right back! 376 00:39:06,447 --> 00:39:09,280 And watch me drive the hell out of here. 377 00:39:09,447 --> 00:39:12,996 - Once I'm clear, I'll release her. - How do we know that? 378 00:39:13,167 --> 00:39:17,957 You're right. I may still kill her. It's not much of a gamble, is it? 379 00:39:18,127 --> 00:39:19,765 Shit. 380 00:39:27,287 --> 00:39:29,847 What are you doing? Get up. 381 00:39:30,647 --> 00:39:35,437 Get up! All right. No sharp moves from anyone. 382 00:39:39,247 --> 00:39:41,078 You, duffel coat. 383 00:39:42,887 --> 00:39:44,286 Come on! 384 00:39:44,447 --> 00:39:46,438 You're going for a ride. 385 00:39:49,247 --> 00:39:51,044 Get ready to fire. 386 00:39:53,367 --> 00:39:55,278 Keep your hands up. 387 00:39:55,447 --> 00:39:58,484 Above your head where I can see them! 388 00:40:22,607 --> 00:40:26,486 If you'd missed... I'd be dead. 389 00:40:26,647 --> 00:40:29,559 I did. I was aiming for his balls. 390 00:40:31,007 --> 00:40:33,521 What about Furry Lewis? Like his stuff? 391 00:40:34,367 --> 00:40:37,882 "Catfish Blues" we could do. We could open with that. 392 00:40:38,047 --> 00:40:40,607 No, it's only three chords. 393 00:40:40,767 --> 00:40:44,840 OK. I'll see you guys there. Sunday at six. Yeah. 394 00:40:46,527 --> 00:40:48,324 New career? 395 00:40:48,487 --> 00:40:52,958 The rough tunes of a man from the Mississippi Delta, Madeline. 396 00:40:55,327 --> 00:40:57,795 Still does it to me every time. 397 00:40:57,967 --> 00:41:01,323 Just as Woody Allen shuns Hollywood on Oscars night 398 00:41:01,487 --> 00:41:03,603 to play jazz in a humble New York pub, 399 00:41:03,767 --> 00:41:09,125 so I shall be giving a wide berth to the meaningless bunfight known as the British... 400 00:41:10,887 --> 00:41:14,516 - .. Magic Awards. - Absolutely. Who needs them? 401 00:41:14,687 --> 00:41:17,201 Ah, the man of the moment. 402 00:41:17,367 --> 00:41:21,246 That last little enquiry seems to have locked it all up. 403 00:41:21,407 --> 00:41:25,605 I think we can go back to Detective Inspector Gallo. 404 00:41:25,767 --> 00:41:30,397 OK. I'll get my coat. Was Adam talking about the Magic Awards? 405 00:41:30,567 --> 00:41:34,196 Yeah. I get the feeling he knows he hasn't won. 406 00:41:34,367 --> 00:41:38,280 On the contrary. He's getting a Lifetime Achievement Award, 407 00:41:38,447 --> 00:41:43,601 which is all very hush-hush, so don't go blurting anything out to him. 408 00:41:44,607 --> 00:41:47,724 Oh, thank you! As if. 409 00:41:47,887 --> 00:41:51,675 Hey, did I leave a bottleneck on that cervanti? 410 00:41:51,847 --> 00:41:55,886 - Come again? - A finger slide on that hidden shelf. 411 00:42:03,687 --> 00:42:05,484 Oh. Right. 412 00:42:06,727 --> 00:42:08,206 Got you. 413 00:42:16,167 --> 00:42:17,725 OK. 414 00:42:17,887 --> 00:42:23,723 It seems Mr Creek has managed to pull us all back from the edge of insanity, so... 415 00:42:25,247 --> 00:42:27,238 Floyd, are you hearing me? 416 00:42:28,367 --> 00:42:32,201 - Karen? - Didn't I say they'd sort this all out? 417 00:42:34,727 --> 00:42:39,562 The problem here was that the demons were in place before you'd even started. 418 00:42:39,727 --> 00:42:43,083 You already think this guy's out of "Hellraiser III" - 419 00:42:43,247 --> 00:42:47,081 someone you can't write off even when they're dead. 420 00:42:47,247 --> 00:42:51,160 And if anyone was dead when you sealed the cellar, it was Geiger. 421 00:42:51,327 --> 00:42:57,482 So when you find his corpse at the top of the steps, what else are you going to think? 422 00:42:57,647 --> 00:43:00,719 There's got to be some kind of force at work. 423 00:43:00,887 --> 00:43:03,799 A force so evil and unholy, 424 00:43:03,967 --> 00:43:07,642 it can not only cause a dead man to rise up from the floor... 425 00:43:08,127 --> 00:43:11,324 but three cigarette cards as well. 426 00:43:13,127 --> 00:43:16,881 And a force which, for reasons best known to itself, 427 00:43:17,047 --> 00:43:22,167 can cause writing to miraculously vanish from a piece of paper. 428 00:43:23,847 --> 00:43:28,045 I think you must begin to see now where all this is heading. 429 00:43:54,207 --> 00:43:56,675 River bursting its banks - 430 00:43:56,847 --> 00:44:02,046 an unstoppable tide that, by the next day, had flooded the valley. 431 00:44:02,207 --> 00:44:04,880 Flooded everything in its path. 432 00:44:42,527 --> 00:44:47,362 Of course, you're talking about a cellar that hadn't been watertight in years. 433 00:44:47,527 --> 00:44:51,520 Week by week, the level would have slowly dropped... 434 00:44:54,327 --> 00:44:56,761 but Geiger didn't. 435 00:44:59,207 --> 00:45:03,086 That's what took the ink off. Water soaking through the paper. 436 00:45:03,247 --> 00:45:05,477 You're on the level with all this? 437 00:45:06,487 --> 00:45:11,607 When summer came, it all dried out - not entirely, as we discovered. 438 00:45:11,767 --> 00:45:16,841 Conditions can get pretty bad there, but no one's ever around to find out. 439 00:45:17,007 --> 00:45:19,805 Saving the odd hit man and drug dealer. 440 00:45:19,967 --> 00:45:24,961 Frog Hollow served as their main rendezvous point and storage facility. 441 00:45:25,127 --> 00:45:29,518 And though we've got a nice collection of dead underlings, 442 00:45:29,687 --> 00:45:32,599 it's not taking us any nearer the top man. 443 00:45:32,767 --> 00:45:37,841 You saw his name that time. Nothing's going to happen if you tell them. 444 00:45:38,007 --> 00:45:40,202 It'll help his case. 445 00:45:40,367 --> 00:45:43,439 Get you off, hopefully, with a suspended. 446 00:45:43,607 --> 00:45:46,997 Then it'll be like you and me? Just like before. 447 00:45:50,367 --> 00:45:52,358 OK. Well... 448 00:45:53,367 --> 00:45:55,881 It was something like... 449 00:45:56,047 --> 00:45:58,038 I know it began with an M. 450 00:45:59,367 --> 00:46:01,835 Was it... Mondrian? 451 00:46:03,807 --> 00:46:08,119 Nice happy ending all round, would you say, Inspector? 452 00:46:08,287 --> 00:46:13,441 Except what's he going to do, do you think, when he finds out? 453 00:46:14,727 --> 00:46:17,844 - What? - That his girlfriend's a copper. 454 00:46:20,607 --> 00:46:22,245 I'm not sure... 455 00:46:22,407 --> 00:46:26,286 Who tipped off the police when they were busted in Haiti? 456 00:46:26,447 --> 00:46:29,644 By some miracle, they escaped. I wonder how. 457 00:46:29,807 --> 00:46:35,962 It was all part of the game plan to come back here and nab the rest of them. 458 00:46:36,127 --> 00:46:40,484 It wasn't until the last minute I twigged what it was - 459 00:46:40,647 --> 00:46:45,357 last time we were here - that hadn't quite gelled. 460 00:46:45,527 --> 00:46:48,644 Miss Blaine, hand me that SOCO report. 461 00:46:50,327 --> 00:46:54,798 How many people know SOCO stands for Scene Of Crime Officers? 462 00:46:54,967 --> 00:46:59,279 It's like expecting me to know what a magician's "cervanti" is. 463 00:46:59,447 --> 00:47:04,965 And yet out of a dozen files there, she went straight for it. I'm sorry. 464 00:47:10,207 --> 00:47:15,839 All right. What do you want from me? Moral indignation because she used him? 465 00:47:16,007 --> 00:47:18,885 He lost most of his brain cells in the ring. 466 00:47:19,047 --> 00:47:23,837 Do you know how long she was on Geiger's tail before he came along? 467 00:47:24,687 --> 00:47:27,838 Undercover work isn't just thrown together. 468 00:47:28,007 --> 00:47:32,159 We've got police on three continents trying to prise this open. 469 00:47:34,047 --> 00:47:38,996 We're grateful to you for straightening him out, so we could work with him. 470 00:47:39,167 --> 00:47:42,921 And I don't doubt there'll be tears before bedtime. 471 00:47:43,087 --> 00:47:46,124 But if it means we get some of the filth out there 472 00:47:46,287 --> 00:47:49,279 who systematically destroy people's lives... 473 00:47:50,767 --> 00:47:52,758 I can live with it. 474 00:47:57,047 --> 00:48:01,086 As I said before... the bigger picture. 475 00:48:22,327 --> 00:48:27,117 I'm sorry I'm late. I got stuck behind this idiot in a bus lane... 476 00:48:27,487 --> 00:48:30,001 It was a bus actually. What have I missed? 477 00:48:30,167 --> 00:48:32,886 I haven't seen Adam coming in. 478 00:48:33,047 --> 00:48:35,481 - He won't be here. - What do you mean? 479 00:48:36,167 --> 00:48:39,876 - He knows he hasn't won. - In his category. There's the other. 480 00:48:40,047 --> 00:48:44,040 - Oh, don't worry. I didn't breathe a word. - You what? 481 00:48:44,207 --> 00:48:47,404 As instructed. You swore me to secrecy. 482 00:48:47,567 --> 00:48:50,286 Since when could you keep a secret? 483 00:48:50,447 --> 00:48:55,726 The whole point of me telling you was so you could leak it to him on the quiet. 484 00:48:55,887 --> 00:49:00,483 It might have been handy if you'd said that! Am I a mind reader now? 485 00:49:00,647 --> 00:49:03,639 He told me he was going to do a Woody Allen. 486 00:49:03,807 --> 00:49:07,322 He plays jazz in a pub instead of going to the Oscars. 487 00:49:07,487 --> 00:49:11,275 He's going to get down to playing some Delta blues. 488 00:49:11,447 --> 00:49:13,677 You are winding me up? 489 00:49:13,847 --> 00:49:18,318 Michael's Pub where Woody Allen plays isn't a pub, it's a swanky nightclub. 490 00:49:18,487 --> 00:49:20,796 Also... Oh, I give up. 491 00:49:21,847 --> 00:49:24,281 So out of sheer pigheaded pride, 492 00:49:24,447 --> 00:49:28,235 he's going to boycott the show for a bit of cheap street cred? 493 00:49:28,407 --> 00:49:30,967 Where in God's name do you think he's...? 494 00:49:32,527 --> 00:49:35,758 No. The image is too painful. 495 00:49:38,647 --> 00:49:41,400 # Oh, I wish 496 00:49:41,567 --> 00:49:43,683 # I was a catfish 497 00:49:44,767 --> 00:49:48,442 # Swimming in, Lord, the deep blue sea 498 00:49:50,727 --> 00:49:52,206 # And all you pretty... # 499 00:49:52,367 --> 00:49:55,916 You all right, Jimmy?