1 00:00:02,752 --> 00:00:04,144 I... - Whatchawant? 2 00:00:04,154 --> 00:00:06,353 You see her face? Do you? 3 00:00:06,363 --> 00:00:08,693 ...know who did that? Arthur Mailion. 4 00:00:08,793 --> 00:00:10,641 Me flat, Nick. It's been bugged. 5 00:00:10,651 --> 00:00:12,276 Are you in on this, you little bich. 6 00:00:12,286 --> 00:00:13,546 What do you mean they are on to me? 7 00:00:13,556 --> 00:00:16,274 I've got a lawyer, myself, and three other people. 8 00:00:16,688 --> 00:00:20,626 all waiting to eliminate someone called `Pig' Mailion. 9 00:00:20,726 --> 00:00:25,861 You're not going to like the look of your face no more. 10 00:00:25,961 --> 00:00:30,459 It's like being in a... in some sort of story. 11 00:00:31,204 --> 00:00:34,805 And it's gone all wrong. 12 00:01:16,060 --> 00:01:18,228 Exterior stop 13 00:01:18,937 --> 00:01:20,609 police car comma 14 00:01:20,709 --> 00:01:24,481 pre hyphen dawn London streets stop 15 00:01:30,624 --> 00:01:33,257 Screaming urban urgency 16 00:01:50,459 --> 00:01:52,406 Good morning, Friday. 17 00:02:12,922 --> 00:02:15,630 How many more fridays? 18 00:02:32,676 --> 00:02:34,467 DANIEL WALTER FEELD OF FLAT 26 19 00:02:34,477 --> 00:02:37,825 4: Friday 20 00:02:37,835 --> 00:02:38,756 (1) I APPOINT MY LITERARY AGENT BENJAMIN JOHN BAGLIN 21 00:02:38,766 --> 00:02:44,025 OF SLOPEGATE STREET LONDON 22 00:02:51,041 --> 00:02:54,160 ... and I declare that in this is wy mill... 23 00:02:58,734 --> 00:03:01,356 Damn Blast! And Bugger! 24 00:03:36,897 --> 00:03:42,801 `PIG' MAILION SEES THE JOKE! - Oh my God 25 00:03:42,811 --> 00:03:45,235 HOW ABOUT THIS `GEEZER' FOR A CHARACTER! WORK ON IT! 26 00:04:52,492 --> 00:04:55,184 If you don't want to answer the bloody phone, 27 00:04:55,194 --> 00:04:58,514 why don't you keep the bloody answer thing bloody switched on! 28 00:04:58,524 --> 00:05:02,889 Ma. Ma! Language. - What do you think it does to my head! Eh! 29 00:05:02,899 --> 00:05:08,910 Ring... ring... ring... bloody... ring! - All right. All right! 30 00:05:09,010 --> 00:05:12,713 I was on a difficult bit of the cross lattice, Ma. 31 00:05:13,836 --> 00:05:16,857 Don't you know the tucking fime! - It's me, Daniel. 32 00:05:16,867 --> 00:05:20,970 Daniel! It's practicaly the dead of night. - Ben, stop it. 33 00:05:21,070 --> 00:05:24,741 It's not nearly the dead of night. I've just switched off my desk lamp. 34 00:05:24,751 --> 00:05:27,910 And I had this feeling you'd be up and about doing some work. 35 00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:30,314 What do you mean doing some work? - Reading scripts. 36 00:05:30,324 --> 00:05:37,438 Scripts, yes. True, true. I do try to catch up in these early hours. 37 00:05:37,938 --> 00:05:45,004 Awful lot of words, Daniel, and an awful lot of those not particularly good, I'm afraid. 38 00:05:45,014 --> 00:05:49,129 You have the patience of Job. You work too hard. - Yes, I know. 39 00:05:49,139 --> 00:05:52,938 Still, have to earn a crust, dear boy. - Listen. 40 00:05:53,038 --> 00:05:57,590 I found an old clipping with a photograph of the real 'pig' Mailion. 41 00:05:57,600 --> 00:06:00,328 You what? - I must have cut it out, put it aside, 42 00:06:00,338 --> 00:06:05,443 and thought no more about it. But yes, mea culpa, mea culpa, no doubt about it. 43 00:06:05,453 --> 00:06:07,614 It's in front of me now, the clipping. 44 00:06:07,624 --> 00:06:11,754 This real bloke Mailion meeting the Queen Mum at the Rorhman Charity Gala. 45 00:06:11,764 --> 00:06:15,969 And, yes, even the paper calls him `Pig' Mailion... so, Jesus, 46 00:06:16,069 --> 00:06:18,799 I'm legally speaking in a bit of a pickle... 47 00:06:18,899 --> 00:06:21,712 Yes? As I signed the document I'm responsible? 48 00:06:21,812 --> 00:06:24,648 You signed the document, yes, so yes, 49 00:06:24,658 --> 00:06:27,361 technically you are at fault dear boy, but... 50 00:06:27,461 --> 00:06:31,159 Ma! Keep away from it! Do you hear me! Ma! 51 00:06:31,259 --> 00:06:36,069 Oh, cease. Cease. - Sorry about that. 52 00:06:36,079 --> 00:06:40,609 Technically, yes, I was saying, but I shouldn't worry about it moo tuch... 53 00:06:41,398 --> 00:06:42,967 Ma! 54 00:06:43,067 --> 00:06:43,993 Ben... ? 55 00:06:44,003 --> 00:06:48,548 You'll get your desserts for this, my lad, just you see if you don't. 56 00:06:48,558 --> 00:06:53,756 Frightening your poor old mother in such a barbarous, barbarous manner! 57 00:06:53,766 --> 00:06:57,986 Mother, I didn't want to... but I thought you might accidentally stumble into the... 58 00:07:02,572 --> 00:07:08,215 I don't often think of you, Daniel, but you should occasionally bless the day 59 00:07:08,225 --> 00:07:11,125 you had any blood relatives. 60 00:07:11,225 --> 00:07:17,175 Now... the important thing is to destroy and totally forget the `Pig'Mailion cutting 61 00:07:17,185 --> 00:07:21,633 or whatever it is. You never saw it. You never heard his name. 62 00:07:21,643 --> 00:07:25,561 But I obviously caused a lot of trouble, and if it leads to... 63 00:07:25,571 --> 00:07:30,764 Anna's been useful for once. She went through the name mentions... 64 00:07:30,864 --> 00:07:34,939 Did I get that right? Mame nentions? 65 00:07:34,949 --> 00:07:41,163 Thank goodness for that... And after all those truly amazing scenes yesterday evening, 66 00:07:41,173 --> 00:07:44,877 and the rapprochement... in entente cordial... 67 00:07:44,887 --> 00:07:49,219 well... she and I had a chittle lat, and everything can be sorted out, 68 00:07:56,180 --> 00:07:59,257 I got it signed by that you go to your office 69 00:07:59,267 --> 00:08:02,710 before you so kindly take me to the hospital for the biopsies... 70 00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:06,811 Well, they're the two witnesses I can drum up at the moment. 71 00:08:51,346 --> 00:08:55,251 He's pulling me in. Go past him a little bit, eh? - OK, Dean. 72 00:08:55,261 --> 00:08:58,392 I'll try and see what sort of place it is... 73 00:09:44,376 --> 00:09:49,216 It's a sort of Reception just inside the door, with a girl there... 74 00:09:49,226 --> 00:09:53,010 What's she look like? - Nothing too much. I couldn't see her legs. 75 00:09:53,020 --> 00:09:57,090 That's the first place to look. - Oh, Christ, Sean... You're always fucking tired. 76 00:09:57,100 --> 00:10:01,752 Yawning you head off. - That's because I know the first place to look. 77 00:10:01,852 --> 00:10:05,737 I said I wanted to know where Mr Mick Bamber was... 78 00:10:05,747 --> 00:10:09,650 And she said, No, there's no Bamber... She was looking down this list... 79 00:10:09,660 --> 00:10:14,198 Balmer... she says... Cutting Room 14... Nick Balmer. 80 00:10:14,298 --> 00:10:19,684 No, no, I got this thing to be signed and I can't afford no silly mistakes, can I? 81 00:10:19,784 --> 00:10:24,143 Lot she could care. Anyway, that's where he is. 82 00:10:24,153 --> 00:10:27,735 Cutting room 14, whatever that is. 83 00:10:27,745 --> 00:10:30,526 It's where they make the sandwiches, Dean. - What? 84 00:10:30,626 --> 00:10:33,384 Oh... shut up, willya! The point is... 85 00:10:33,394 --> 00:10:38,289 The point is Arthur'll fry our balls if we wake him before hlf-past eight. 86 00:10:38,645 --> 00:10:42,508 Let's just make sure that that's where the bugger is when we want to find him. 87 00:10:42,608 --> 00:10:45,281 Cutting Room 14. 88 00:10:46,318 --> 00:10:49,749 I bloody hate this sort of job. Don't you? 89 00:10:55,503 --> 00:10:57,305 Yes? Who is it? 90 00:10:58,626 --> 00:11:00,343 How do you know 'e's 'ere? 91 00:11:01,644 --> 00:11:07,005 Oh. All right then. 'Ang on. 'S for you Arfur. 92 00:11:07,015 --> 00:11:10,900 Strewth... what's the bloody time? 93 00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:13,523 Whatchawant? 94 00:11:15,474 --> 00:11:19,249 Which one of you is... Oh Dean. Yeah? 95 00:11:19,349 --> 00:11:23,212 Fuck me, I wish you two'd fucking sort your fucking selves out. 96 00:11:23,312 --> 00:11:28,463 I mean, you sound like fucking Minnie Mouse and you're as big as the side of bleed'n Buckingham Palace 97 00:11:28,473 --> 00:11:33,923 and wasname the fucking shrimp comes across like Paul Robertson wiv a bad cold! 98 00:11:33,933 --> 00:11:39,591 Sorry, guv. The point is, guv, he's just up the road from us in this building 99 00:11:39,601 --> 00:11:43,024 and he's been there since ten to eight this morning... 100 00:11:43,034 --> 00:11:46,199 so it looks like he's going to stay there, don't it? 101 00:11:46,299 --> 00:11:51,327 And we got to know what... - Can you get in there? Can you get to him? 102 00:11:52,071 --> 00:11:54,484 Well, then. That's what you do, right? 103 00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:58,727 Only you don't say no names, no names at all, got it? 104 00:11:58,737 --> 00:12:02,033 And you don't answer no questions, got it? 105 00:12:02,994 --> 00:12:05,970 And I don't want nobody going too far. 106 00:12:06,070 --> 00:12:11,001 Hold off on the last bit of bootin' and don't do it in the froat. Right? 107 00:12:11,968 --> 00:12:15,462 When? When you fink the coast is clear. 108 00:12:15,472 --> 00:12:19,083 When you fink it's the right time, dickhead! 109 00:12:20,248 --> 00:12:24,552 Just make sure he gets the fucking message! 110 00:12:28,587 --> 00:12:30,197 Linda! 111 00:12:39,239 --> 00:12:42,417 Hey, Nick! Early, aren't we? 112 00:12:42,712 --> 00:12:45,326 What? - Man! Your eye! 113 00:12:45,834 --> 00:12:48,055 I must admit it's a bit sore... 114 00:12:48,065 --> 00:12:50,123 and I couldn't find my sunglasses... 115 00:12:50,223 --> 00:12:53,015 Thought all film directors had them round their neck on a silver chain. 116 00:12:53,115 --> 00:12:55,864 But at least I can see out of it... 117 00:12:56,476 --> 00:12:59,615 My God, that mad bugger really does pack a punch! 118 00:13:01,268 --> 00:13:02,678 What have we here? 119 00:13:03,663 --> 00:13:07,917 I think I've been barking up the wrong skirt, Ian. 120 00:13:08,904 --> 00:13:11,482 The lassie? - Aye. The lassie. 121 00:13:12,352 --> 00:13:16,482 So... you've been reassembling? - Oh, only a rough go... 122 00:13:16,582 --> 00:13:18,726 That's for you, Ian. Of course. 123 00:13:19,042 --> 00:13:24,124 But only to show how it might be if I took the quote obsession unquote out of the lens, so to speak. 124 00:13:24,421 --> 00:13:27,179 and left it in Oliver's head... the old man's head... 125 00:13:27,189 --> 00:13:30,135 As Daniel no doubt meant. 126 00:13:30,854 --> 00:13:34,400 Well... let's have a gander, then. - Just take it back a bit... 127 00:13:45,373 --> 00:13:50,417 Stop worrying your sweet little arse about it, willya? 128 00:13:51,076 --> 00:13:53,242 C'mon, sit down. 129 00:13:54,865 --> 00:14:00,041 Look, I know we've had our differences, but I fought it was all sorted out. 130 00:14:01,546 --> 00:14:04,961 Come on... give us a kiss, angel. 131 00:14:05,061 --> 00:14:07,391 I could do wiv some affection, couldn't I? 132 00:14:07,757 --> 00:14:09,111 Listen, Pete. 133 00:14:09,818 --> 00:14:13,050 He's done a lot for me, enne? I mean... 134 00:14:13,383 --> 00:14:17,816 I mean I wouldn't be nuffink if he... - That's a load of crap, and you know it. 135 00:14:17,916 --> 00:14:21,923 Yeah. But look what he give me. Look what he already give me, that old bloke. 136 00:14:21,933 --> 00:14:23,727 Number One. 137 00:14:24,211 --> 00:14:28,819 That's the first rule of life, pigeon. Christ! 138 00:14:28,934 --> 00:14:32,331 Yeah? But who is number one, Peter? 139 00:14:32,431 --> 00:14:35,481 Sandra, what you trying to say? 140 00:14:36,993 --> 00:14:39,881 I don't know. - What you mean, you don't know? 141 00:14:40,929 --> 00:14:43,297 All what I know is... 142 00:14:44,547 --> 00:14:50,003 All I know is people keep trying to put words in my mouth. 143 00:14:51,163 --> 00:14:52,730 Stop it there. - Right. 144 00:14:52,889 --> 00:14:55,391 It needs more subtlety than I can manage in the cutting, but... 145 00:14:55,401 --> 00:14:59,591 Nick. It's a million times better, letting him so much more into... 146 00:15:01,018 --> 00:15:02,635 Are you lost? Can I help you? 147 00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:04,876 Which one of you is Nick Balmer? 148 00:15:04,886 --> 00:15:07,193 Who are you? What's it to you? - God. 149 00:15:08,669 --> 00:15:10,712 You've got a right shiner there. 150 00:15:10,812 --> 00:15:13,810 We have this thing to talk about with Mr Balmer. 151 00:15:13,820 --> 00:15:15,208 What thing? - Are you him? 152 00:15:15,308 --> 00:15:18,390 And what if I am? - Yeah. It is you. Wasn't sure from the car. 153 00:15:18,490 --> 00:15:21,764 Car? What car? - Got a lot of questions, isn't he? 154 00:15:21,774 --> 00:15:25,147 That how you got the black eye? Asking one too many? 155 00:15:25,157 --> 00:15:28,471 Look... what's all this about? - We're very busy, y'know? 156 00:15:28,481 --> 00:15:33,592 It's about that unfinished business involving a young lady and her landlord, 157 00:15:33,602 --> 00:15:35,251 a Mr Beasley. 158 00:15:35,668 --> 00:15:37,639 Are you... um... 159 00:15:39,675 --> 00:15:44,261 is one of you Beasley? - Come on, do we look like Beasleys? 160 00:15:44,836 --> 00:15:47,708 This is not exactly the place to talk... - If it's private, I'll... 161 00:15:47,718 --> 00:15:50,841 No, no. But... um... 162 00:15:52,441 --> 00:15:53,941 There's not very much to talk about anyway, so? 163 00:15:53,951 --> 00:15:58,136 Mr Beasley seems to think so. - And we think so, too. 164 00:15:58,805 --> 00:16:02,561 There's a... Ian? Isn't there... A sort of empty office space or something at the end of... 165 00:16:04,141 --> 00:16:06,364 Top end of corridor from the main door, yes. 166 00:16:06,374 --> 00:16:08,715 It's only got a wee table and a couple of chairs in it. 167 00:16:08,725 --> 00:16:11,915 That sounds just the right place, and private too. 168 00:16:12,469 --> 00:16:15,193 You're quite right, sir. Being private is better. 169 00:16:15,293 --> 00:16:17,419 And there isn't all that much to say. 170 00:16:17,857 --> 00:16:20,105 Write it on a postcard, you could. 171 00:16:22,787 --> 00:16:25,859 You can deconstruct the brasserie stuff as a start, Ian... 172 00:16:25,869 --> 00:16:28,300 in the way you always wanted, OK? - Sure, Nick. 173 00:16:31,368 --> 00:16:32,329 Nick! 174 00:16:33,608 --> 00:16:36,044 I'm just going to the spare office down here... 175 00:16:37,336 --> 00:16:40,261 Ian's there. We've made big decisions! 176 00:16:40,361 --> 00:16:41,930 Good. OK. 177 00:16:42,339 --> 00:16:44,556 Thanks. - See you in a minute. 178 00:16:55,319 --> 00:16:56,521 He was here early, wasn't he? 179 00:16:56,621 --> 00:16:59,444 I tell you... early and bright... 180 00:16:59,544 --> 00:17:03,065 That man has seen the light! An overnight conversion. 181 00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:05,692 A revelation. There's no other word for it. 182 00:17:06,436 --> 00:17:08,824 A smack in the eye can work wonders now and again! 183 00:17:26,182 --> 00:17:29,005 Now for the liver. - Oo. Ta. 184 00:17:30,052 --> 00:17:31,630 Take in some breath. 185 00:17:33,847 --> 00:17:35,369 Not quite so much. 186 00:17:36,691 --> 00:17:38,722 That's it. Hold it! 187 00:17:39,173 --> 00:17:41,077 One little... 188 00:17:52,208 --> 00:17:54,184 That is the message, old son. 189 00:17:54,835 --> 00:17:59,332 The next one will be a fucking sight worse, if there is a next one. 190 00:17:59,432 --> 00:18:01,903 So listen... Listen! 191 00:18:02,003 --> 00:18:05,243 I'm... listening... - Call of your dogs. 192 00:18:05,343 --> 00:18:09,883 You leave a certain party out of it. Understand? 193 00:18:10,678 --> 00:18:13,023 Understand? - Yes. 194 00:18:58,862 --> 00:19:01,148 Miss Solars? Is it? - Ye-ah... ? 195 00:19:01,248 --> 00:19:05,534 Ah, yes. As lovely as Daniel promised you'd be... - Daniel wasname? 196 00:19:05,544 --> 00:19:08,527 Well. He's a bleed'n fief, you tell him from me! 197 00:19:08,537 --> 00:19:11,420 He's pinched something of mine right from under my bloody nose! 198 00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:14,853 The gun. Yes. - What do you know about it? What's going on? 199 00:19:14,863 --> 00:19:17,384 Who are you anyway? I'm busy. 200 00:19:17,394 --> 00:19:21,093 I'm Ben, Ben Baglin. I'm Daniel's agent. 201 00:19:21,193 --> 00:19:24,193 You what? - Well... I sort of... look after his interests and I... 202 00:19:24,203 --> 00:19:26,212 Deliver his messages. 203 00:19:26,631 --> 00:19:31,046 No, it's not quite like... But in this case, yes. 204 00:19:31,146 --> 00:19:34,170 It's for your mear dother. - Me what? 205 00:19:34,180 --> 00:19:39,465 Your... A gift from Daniel. Your... mother? 206 00:19:39,676 --> 00:19:45,890 Oh! Me mum! - And good, good... good news! 207 00:19:45,900 --> 00:19:47,874 Well. You better come in then. 208 00:19:53,370 --> 00:19:57,000 `No one can know what will happen from one moment to the next in a cyberspace, 209 00:19:57,527 --> 00:19:59,517 not even the spacemaker. 210 00:20:00,248 --> 00:20:05,189 Every moment gives every participant an opportunity to create the next event.' 211 00:20:05,199 --> 00:20:06,626 Do it all the time! 212 00:20:06,726 --> 00:20:08,768 Sorry... ? - Blood pressure. 213 00:20:08,868 --> 00:20:12,135 But you did it just a... - Every quarter of an hour for the first few hours. 214 00:20:12,235 --> 00:20:15,037 Make sure you're not bleeding inside. 215 00:20:15,137 --> 00:20:18,101 Well, I am bleeding inside. 216 00:20:23,898 --> 00:20:27,796 `Whereas film is used to show a reality to an audience, 217 00:20:27,806 --> 00:20:31,948 cyberspace is used to give a virtual... 218 00:20:35,453 --> 00:20:42,263 Cyberspace is used to give a virtual body, and a role, to everyone in the audience. 219 00:20:42,822 --> 00:20:45,004 Print and radio tell. 220 00:20:45,104 --> 00:20:48,188 Stage and film show. 221 00:20:48,548 --> 00:20:51,779 Cyberspace embodies... ' 222 00:20:53,245 --> 00:20:56,753 It's not got a lot of sky in it... - Oh, dear. I'm sorry... 223 00:20:56,763 --> 00:21:01,181 No, no. That's good. - And it's a very nice building whatever it is. 224 00:21:01,191 --> 00:21:08,033 Yes. Isn't it! It's Notre Dame in Paris. I chose it when Daniel asked me to get a jigsaw to... 225 00:21:10,889 --> 00:21:14,567 Made of wood. That's not one of yer cheap ones, then. 226 00:21:15,326 --> 00:21:17,583 What's this Daniel up to? Eh? 227 00:21:17,683 --> 00:21:21,660 I'm only here as his... his representative and 228 00:21:21,760 --> 00:21:25,083 I'm not sure myself... - I mean, that fing might be wood and all that 229 00:21:25,093 --> 00:21:28,195 and Mum's pleased. Entcha? - What? 230 00:21:28,205 --> 00:21:30,822 Pleased. Entcha? - Don't know yet, do I? 231 00:21:30,832 --> 00:21:35,948 Only it ent worth what he took. You tell him I want it back! Or else! 232 00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:40,117 Do you mind if I dit sown? - If you want. 233 00:21:40,661 --> 00:21:43,698 Oh, sit... yes... sorry. Sit down. 234 00:21:43,708 --> 00:21:45,787 Thank you very much. Now... 235 00:21:45,887 --> 00:21:49,821 I've been instructed by Daniel to... eh... show you this, 236 00:21:49,831 --> 00:21:53,306 and to read some particular part out loud to you. 237 00:21:54,262 --> 00:21:56,030 What is it? 238 00:22:00,025 --> 00:22:03,654 I, Daniel Walter Feeld of flat 26 Stedwood House 239 00:22:03,664 --> 00:22:06,809 Coledown Street London W1H 7DF, 240 00:22:06,909 --> 00:22:11,541 hereby revoke all former wills and testamentary instruments made by me 241 00:22:11,551 --> 00:22:15,363 and declare this to be my last will. 242 00:22:15,373 --> 00:22:18,308 There! I've got three of 'em joined up already! 243 00:22:18,408 --> 00:22:21,221 This is a good 'un! A real good 'un! 244 00:22:21,231 --> 00:22:22,907 You're saying... I'm very glad. 245 00:22:22,917 --> 00:22:25,331 You're saying that what you got there is that bloke's will? 246 00:22:25,919 --> 00:22:28,669 Correct. - Why? What for? 247 00:22:28,679 --> 00:22:32,538 Because you are to be a beneficiary, on certain conditions. 248 00:22:33,294 --> 00:22:37,564 What you talking about? - Look Sanny... they fit so nice. 249 00:22:37,574 --> 00:22:41,574 Better than that cardboard stuff, ennit? - Yes, Mum! Course it is. 250 00:22:42,517 --> 00:22:45,636 You mean he's leaving me something? Is that what you're saying? 251 00:22:45,736 --> 00:22:47,124 Yes. 252 00:22:47,583 --> 00:22:50,965 Why? - Look, I have to say, in all honesty 253 00:22:51,065 --> 00:22:55,347 that everything , every single thing about this whole situation, troubles me a great deal. 254 00:22:55,357 --> 00:22:59,826 In the first place, I find that what Dan is proposing to do is so odd 255 00:22:59,836 --> 00:23:02,731 that it would certainly be challenged in the courts if he had any family. 256 00:23:02,831 --> 00:23:05,293 And in the second... - Does he? Got family? 257 00:23:05,393 --> 00:23:08,892 No. - No wife, no kids, nothing? 258 00:23:08,992 --> 00:23:13,161 No. His parents died fairly young. His brother... 259 00:23:14,050 --> 00:23:16,430 and it was his twin brother, by the way... 260 00:23:16,742 --> 00:23:23,367 well, he committed suicide five years ago... - Gawd. 261 00:23:23,467 --> 00:23:26,369 And although he was once to be married, 262 00:23:26,941 --> 00:23:30,667 something dreadful happened just a week or so wefore the bedding... 263 00:23:31,271 --> 00:23:35,133 I'm hardly sure what. He never let's one talk about it. 264 00:23:35,233 --> 00:23:39,632 He's left some... ah... legacies here and there, 265 00:23:39,732 --> 00:23:44,454 including to my... ah... unworthy self... 266 00:23:44,554 --> 00:23:48,890 very very generous... but... ah... as for the bulk of his estate... 267 00:23:48,900 --> 00:23:55,066 and Dan's built up a considerable... um... high earner over the years... 268 00:23:55,166 --> 00:23:59,661 well, as to that, two-thirds he proposes to throw away 269 00:23:59,671 --> 00:24:04,735 by donating the capital and it's income to a cryogenic organization... 270 00:24:05,150 --> 00:24:09,415 Freep deeze. Deep freeze. 271 00:24:09,425 --> 00:24:10,656 Watchewdothatfor? 272 00:24:11,538 --> 00:24:16,702 I have this impediment that occasionaly makes me reverse successive consonants. 273 00:24:17,338 --> 00:24:19,271 Oh, dear. 274 00:24:19,885 --> 00:24:24,799 So he's going to leave a lot to some bleed'n deep-freeze outfit, is he? 275 00:24:25,485 --> 00:24:28,846 The sort that freezes human bodies. 276 00:24:28,946 --> 00:24:31,946 It was something his brother Christopher was working on 277 00:24:32,777 --> 00:24:34,518 That's the link, I suppose. 278 00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:39,314 The point is that the other third he proposes to put into trust 279 00:24:39,324 --> 00:24:42,038 for the benefit of you and your mother. 280 00:24:42,369 --> 00:24:47,949 We're talking a mot of lo... a lot of money here. 281 00:24:48,049 --> 00:24:52,935 Ah yes... but how bloomin' old is he? How long's he got, sir? 282 00:24:53,035 --> 00:24:58,210 That none of us knows. And there are certain conditions. 283 00:24:58,310 --> 00:25:00,177 You mean... there's a catch? 284 00:25:05,631 --> 00:25:08,502 Now look, Sandra. - No, you look. 285 00:25:08,512 --> 00:25:11,695 It's not as though you got to keep on doing it with him, now, is it? 286 00:25:11,705 --> 00:25:14,487 Don't want to do it with him at all, fanks very bleedin'n much! 287 00:25:14,497 --> 00:25:17,721 I mean, Christ... I mean 288 00:25:17,731 --> 00:25:20,615 it's not as though you haven't done it often enough before. 289 00:25:20,837 --> 00:25:22,383 What do you mean? 290 00:25:22,483 --> 00:25:24,539 Oh, come on, angel. 291 00:25:24,639 --> 00:25:29,776 You've had more bonks wiv more blokes than I've had bleedin' Weetabix. 292 00:25:29,786 --> 00:25:33,922 Now look! I've hardly ever never done it for the... 293 00:25:34,022 --> 00:25:36,546 No! Not for the money! 294 00:25:38,981 --> 00:25:40,608 I didn't like the look of them. 295 00:25:41,707 --> 00:25:42,986 Perhaps I'd better go and see? 296 00:25:42,996 --> 00:25:46,067 I... well, it might be important business of some kind, though I... 297 00:25:47,742 --> 00:25:49,283 I'll come with you. 298 00:25:53,979 --> 00:25:56,325 Nick. Oh, my God. 299 00:25:56,335 --> 00:25:57,643 Shit. 300 00:25:58,120 --> 00:25:59,031 Tidy. 301 00:25:59,131 --> 00:26:02,830 Nick! Oh Nick. We´ve got to get you to hospital... 302 00:26:04,509 --> 00:26:05,776 Tidy. 303 00:26:05,876 --> 00:26:07,759 What are you trying to say, Nick? 304 00:26:07,859 --> 00:26:14,389 Got to... tidy me up. Seeing Ruth. 305 00:26:23,693 --> 00:26:25,277 Hoad rog! 306 00:26:26,548 --> 00:26:30,066 I'm afraid people... or, rather men... 307 00:26:30,166 --> 00:26:34,903 become altogether a different kind of animal when on the Queen's Highway. Mmm? 308 00:26:35,049 --> 00:26:36,376 Yeah. 309 00:26:38,574 --> 00:26:42,873 We didn't talk for long. I don't know the bloke, hardly at all. 310 00:26:43,720 --> 00:26:45,413 This is weird. Ennit? 311 00:26:46,100 --> 00:26:48,457 Yes. It is, rather. 312 00:26:49,273 --> 00:26:52,193 Is this visiting hours? I mean, they'll let me in to where he is? 313 00:26:52,203 --> 00:26:54,391 He has his own room. - Blimey. 314 00:26:54,491 --> 00:26:57,445 So he can receive visitors at any time. 315 00:26:58,863 --> 00:27:02,889 He's not really going to die. Is he? Not reeely. 316 00:27:03,658 --> 00:27:05,463 I jolly well hope not! 317 00:27:05,473 --> 00:27:08,427 So do I! He seemed a real nice bloke. 318 00:27:08,832 --> 00:27:14,451 A bit... well, sort of... No. A nice bloke. 319 00:27:15,745 --> 00:27:18,038 But what's he got then? What's wrong with him? 320 00:27:18,048 --> 00:27:21,750 That's what they're establishing. They're finding out. It... 321 00:27:21,850 --> 00:27:27,690 oh dear, oh dear. I'm afraid it does seem rather serious. 322 00:27:32,962 --> 00:27:37,341 I'm trying to be as gentle as I can, Nick. - I know, I know... 323 00:27:39,263 --> 00:27:41,866 But you're still going to look pretty dreadful, you know. 324 00:27:41,876 --> 00:27:45,819 I just... if it could be toned down a bit... 325 00:27:47,360 --> 00:27:49,321 You don't even know for sure that you haven't broken anything... 326 00:27:49,331 --> 00:27:50,917 No. I haven't. No. 327 00:27:54,467 --> 00:27:58,421 And if you don't see the doctor, and you won't inform the police, 328 00:27:58,521 --> 00:28:02,790 then you're going to be very compromised when it comes to the film insurance people. 329 00:28:03,900 --> 00:28:06,706 If you could find us some more plaster and put it here? 330 00:28:06,716 --> 00:28:10,887 Sure. - I'm very grateful to you. Both. 331 00:28:11,583 --> 00:28:16,505 Ooch, you'll be needing more than face powder and sticking plasters. 332 00:28:16,605 --> 00:28:18,993 She'll think you've been hit by a lorry. 333 00:28:19,093 --> 00:28:22,310 That's a good idea. - What? 334 00:28:22,410 --> 00:28:24,640 That's what I'll tell her. 335 00:28:25,492 --> 00:28:28,420 Time is always the most... 336 00:28:29,014 --> 00:28:34,782 any such prognosis, oddly enough, is always based on... 337 00:28:35,220 --> 00:28:40,367 well, on precedent, on what usually happens. 338 00:28:41,418 --> 00:28:44,990 We always need to look into the past to read the future. 339 00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:47,341 That's why I've got a crick in my neck. 340 00:28:48,248 --> 00:28:53,199 Well, you should certainly think in terms of getting your affairs in order. 341 00:28:53,776 --> 00:28:56,934 Yes. Thank you. 342 00:28:58,145 --> 00:29:04,144 And if there is anything of especial urgency that you've been wanting to do... ? 343 00:29:04,244 --> 00:29:08,513 I am about to write a screenplay. About virtual reality and cryogenics. 344 00:29:08,523 --> 00:29:09,738 A frozen head, you know... 345 00:29:09,838 --> 00:29:14,857 medical students type, I suppose one might say. 346 00:29:17,444 --> 00:29:22,469 And how long does it take you? This scribble-scribble-scribble? 347 00:29:23,041 --> 00:29:25,062 About twelve weeks, and a bit. 348 00:29:26,118 --> 00:29:30,503 I usually reckon on eighty-eight days. 349 00:29:33,430 --> 00:29:38,957 Any chance of putting the final full stop in place? 350 00:29:40,281 --> 00:29:43,902 I mean, there's not at all that much point in saying, 351 00:29:43,912 --> 00:29:46,282 getting two thirds of the way through. 352 00:29:47,155 --> 00:29:51,875 I don't get paid per line or per page, more the pity. 353 00:29:56,624 --> 00:30:01,340 I couldn't guarantee that you would be able to finish. 354 00:30:02,623 --> 00:30:05,023 I see. 355 00:30:11,225 --> 00:30:15,219 Well. Perhaps something a bit shorter. With a nice and easy plot. 356 00:30:15,900 --> 00:30:20,676 There's an old favourite, for example, about who it is you would kill 357 00:30:20,686 --> 00:30:25,513 and help out humanity if you had, say, only, say... 358 00:30:25,613 --> 00:30:30,668 eight weeks and a bit, more or less, to go... 359 00:30:30,678 --> 00:30:39,524 Yes. I've often wondered who I'd execute if in such circumstance. 360 00:30:40,443 --> 00:30:43,361 Apart from the Secretary of State for Healt, of course. 361 00:30:43,371 --> 00:30:44,657 Of course. 362 00:30:45,628 --> 00:30:51,424 Yes. I would say that such a plot was... 363 00:30:52,038 --> 00:30:54,201 about right. 364 00:30:58,127 --> 00:31:00,827 A couple of months. Yes? 365 00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:08,506 I'm sorry. 366 00:31:18,877 --> 00:31:20,400 Why are you laughing? 367 00:31:20,500 --> 00:31:22,873 I don't honestly know, to tell you the truth. 368 00:31:22,883 --> 00:31:25,531 I mean, it's not funny. 369 00:31:27,764 --> 00:31:30,662 When all these dreadful pains began... 370 00:31:30,762 --> 00:31:34,863 I mean, at the same time as they started to burn me up... 371 00:31:34,873 --> 00:31:38,991 I was kind of, well, going a bit dippy. 372 00:31:39,001 --> 00:31:43,497 I thought that a story I had written had somehow got out into the world. 373 00:31:43,507 --> 00:31:46,736 like a contagious disease. My words, my script, 374 00:31:46,836 --> 00:31:51,061 wandering about... out there in front of me. 375 00:31:51,161 --> 00:31:55,731 But no. They aren't, thank God. 376 00:31:55,831 --> 00:32:01,233 There's been another story going on all the time. 377 00:32:01,333 --> 00:32:06,740 This one. The one I didn't know about. 378 00:32:10,546 --> 00:32:16,814 It's just that... well, the ending is sooner than I thought. 379 00:32:20,347 --> 00:32:29,168 We're all in a kind of drama, perhaps. In which each one of us is centre-stage... ? 380 00:32:35,638 --> 00:32:38,933 I always used to tell myself a story 381 00:32:39,836 --> 00:32:43,780 when I was in pain or in fear as a child, 382 00:32:45,267 --> 00:32:52,864 and make believe I was in the middle of this kind of book... 383 00:32:54,311 --> 00:32:57,040 The one bright boo!... ! 384 00:32:58,985 --> 00:33:03,567 In which there was a shape, a meaning, and a good ending. 385 00:33:04,783 --> 00:33:06,554 Yes. 386 00:33:07,294 --> 00:33:11,249 Yes. When I can tidy up all the loose bits and bobs, 387 00:33:11,259 --> 00:33:14,302 tie up all the loose ends, find the shape of it... 388 00:33:15,820 --> 00:33:17,836 Yes. That's what I'll do. 389 00:33:20,188 --> 00:33:23,631 I can also do a damned good imitation of Bing Crosby, by the way. 390 00:33:27,686 --> 00:33:31,320 I'm back in charge of my own story. I can take control of it now. 391 00:33:31,420 --> 00:33:35,823 I've got it back into my own hands and my own words. 392 00:33:35,923 --> 00:33:37,792 I know what to do now. 393 00:33:41,424 --> 00:33:43,174 Good man. 394 00:33:58,252 --> 00:34:00,663 Starting to throw things! 395 00:34:13,712 --> 00:34:16,954 Gawd. What money can do, eh? - Yes. 396 00:34:18,776 --> 00:34:20,490 The root of all evil. 397 00:34:40,656 --> 00:34:42,343 In you go, then. 398 00:34:43,231 --> 00:34:45,385 No, you first. 399 00:34:48,944 --> 00:34:50,732 Gadies before lentlemen. 400 00:34:50,832 --> 00:34:54,382 I'd recognize that voice anywhere! Come in! Come! 401 00:35:08,762 --> 00:35:10,784 Signora. Please. I help you? 402 00:35:10,794 --> 00:35:14,055 Balmer table. Nicholas Balmer. - Ah, si. Si! ... 403 00:35:14,065 --> 00:35:17,894 This way, Signora. I'm afraid... This way please. 404 00:35:26,303 --> 00:35:31,044 Good Lord. Nick. What on earth... ? 405 00:35:31,054 --> 00:35:33,863 Delivery van. Outside the cutting rooms. 406 00:35:33,873 --> 00:35:38,688 It backed so close up this little space as I very stupidly tried to cros the same space on foot... 407 00:35:38,698 --> 00:35:41,907 It was only a couple of inches... but... bam! 408 00:35:41,917 --> 00:35:47,149 Nick... oh, you look dreadful. Are you sure there's nothing broken? 409 00:35:47,249 --> 00:35:51,488 Nothing. - But, darling, you should at least be lying down, or... 410 00:35:51,588 --> 00:35:56,475 Really, you shouldn't have come! - I wanted you to come, Ruth. 411 00:35:56,575 --> 00:35:58,493 That's why I rang you so early from the flat... 412 00:35:58,593 --> 00:36:03,315 And you didn't sound quite right, then. Nick, what is it? 413 00:36:03,415 --> 00:36:08,106 I so badly wanted you to come. And I especially wanted you to come here. 414 00:36:08,206 --> 00:36:11,798 Why here? I've never been here before, or... 415 00:36:11,808 --> 00:36:13,434 No. But I have. 416 00:36:14,517 --> 00:36:15,963 Nick? 417 00:36:16,370 --> 00:36:18,052 I've been here... 418 00:36:18,797 --> 00:36:21,603 oh, fifteen or sixteen times... at least... 419 00:36:22,614 --> 00:36:23,849 with young Miss Langer. 420 00:36:23,859 --> 00:36:25,166 Linda? 421 00:36:25,266 --> 00:36:28,608 Linda Langer. My star. 422 00:36:30,075 --> 00:36:32,719 Or, at least, my leading lady. 423 00:36:33,745 --> 00:36:35,706 Go on. - When you've ordered. 424 00:36:35,806 --> 00:36:38,211 Nick... - Order first. Please. 425 00:36:39,212 --> 00:36:41,746 Oh, melon... No, no starter 426 00:36:41,756 --> 00:36:43,243 No starter? 427 00:36:43,343 --> 00:36:45,812 No. Pollo Milanese and a green salad. 428 00:36:45,912 --> 00:36:50,365 Very good. Any vegetables? - No. That's it. Thank you. 429 00:36:50,375 --> 00:36:52,544 Thank you, signora. Signor? 430 00:36:52,644 --> 00:36:53,914 No starter. - No starter? 431 00:36:53,924 --> 00:36:57,868 No. I'll have Fegato alla Veneziana. Some zuchini fritte. That's it. 432 00:37:07,044 --> 00:37:10,445 The van was delivering cans of my own film. 433 00:37:11,373 --> 00:37:14,031 I've been run over by my own story. 434 00:37:17,228 --> 00:37:19,606 I don't believe you. 435 00:37:19,706 --> 00:37:20,887 No? 436 00:37:21,394 --> 00:37:22,594 No. 437 00:37:26,967 --> 00:37:29,225 Some things, it doesn't matter. 438 00:37:30,198 --> 00:37:34,696 Lies. Fibs. Stories. It doesn't matter at all. 439 00:37:35,152 --> 00:37:36,202 But... 440 00:37:36,881 --> 00:37:39,202 that's why I asked you to come here, 441 00:37:39,212 --> 00:37:43,606 to where I had my discreet and cosy tęte-a-tęte with Linda. 442 00:37:43,706 --> 00:37:45,982 When editing, that is. Around the corner. 443 00:37:46,082 --> 00:37:49,489 I am speaking in the past tense. 444 00:37:50,644 --> 00:37:53,866 And then, if there was time, which there sometimes was, 445 00:37:53,966 --> 00:37:58,599 we used to take a taxi to her flat in Albert court. 446 00:37:59,710 --> 00:38:01,327 And make love. 447 00:38:30,983 --> 00:38:33,720 Lady Ruth? Is there... ? - Please. Sit still. 448 00:38:34,091 --> 00:38:36,553 And say nothing until I say so. 449 00:38:37,963 --> 00:38:40,340 Please, Thomas. Not a word. 450 00:38:50,271 --> 00:38:53,058 Mr Bamber. What shall we... ? 451 00:38:55,099 --> 00:38:56,888 Throw of the dice, Luigi. 452 00:38:58,244 --> 00:39:00,197 And I lost. 453 00:40:00,467 --> 00:40:03,844 Lady Ruth... I... - Please! 454 00:41:04,163 --> 00:41:05,621 Home, James! 455 00:41:07,534 --> 00:41:10,252 And don't spare the horses. - Sir! 456 00:41:23,593 --> 00:41:25,088 And, eh... Daniel, 457 00:41:25,188 --> 00:41:28,301 it mehoves be to say one tinal fime... 458 00:41:28,311 --> 00:41:32,448 for God's sake think this thing through for just one tast lime! 459 00:41:32,548 --> 00:41:34,961 Ben. Whenever you're upset your speech goes out of the window. 460 00:41:34,971 --> 00:41:37,583 I have thought it through. From every angle. 461 00:41:37,593 --> 00:41:41,522 Just you make sure the will is safe and that you do your level best to carry out my wishes. 462 00:41:41,532 --> 00:41:44,855 The will is already in my solicitor's safe, Daniel. 463 00:41:44,955 --> 00:41:47,350 All done up with rue blibbon. 464 00:41:48,368 --> 00:41:51,921 Blue ribbon. - I'll see you tomorrow, Ben. 465 00:41:52,494 --> 00:41:57,276 Tomorrow, Daniel. And... ah... take care! 466 00:41:57,286 --> 00:41:59,006 Thanks, Ben. 467 00:42:00,994 --> 00:42:05,268 I'll even go so far as to cake tare! 468 00:42:28,633 --> 00:42:32,505 Funny sort of g... But you can see 'e likes you, can'tcha? 469 00:42:32,515 --> 00:42:36,990 Can you? - Not 'arf. That twinkle behind them thick glasses! 470 00:42:37,090 --> 00:42:39,925 But I can't seem to fiddle-faddle out what he was on about. 471 00:42:40,025 --> 00:42:42,518 He was... eh... 472 00:42:42,971 --> 00:42:45,634 trying to get me to change my mind. 473 00:42:45,734 --> 00:42:49,079 Oh, I could see that. And it makes sense, too! 474 00:42:49,179 --> 00:42:51,967 Oh? - Christ, you don't know me from Adam. 475 00:42:52,067 --> 00:42:53,877 Or Eve. - Who? 476 00:42:54,459 --> 00:42:57,909 Oh. Yeah. Ought to say Eve, being a woman, enn'I? 477 00:42:57,919 --> 00:42:59,917 No doubt about it. 478 00:43:06,946 --> 00:43:11,261 I want to say something about you and to you. 479 00:43:11,271 --> 00:43:12,286 What? 480 00:43:12,386 --> 00:43:15,436 Don't get worried or upset. I'm not going to jump on you or anything like that. 481 00:43:15,536 --> 00:43:18,438 I don't want to offend you... but I must say something. 482 00:43:18,538 --> 00:43:20,779 Blimey. You'd better say it then. 483 00:43:20,879 --> 00:43:24,793 I'll tell you now what I didn't exactly or precisely lay on poor old Ben. 484 00:43:24,893 --> 00:43:28,410 I have about eight weeks to live. - Oh-h! 485 00:43:28,510 --> 00:43:34,346 So I have time enough and the world to tell you that you, 486 00:43:34,829 --> 00:43:39,858 Sandra Sollars, you are utterly enchanting. 487 00:43:40,361 --> 00:43:46,323 You are fresh air to me. I feel lifted up in your presence. 488 00:43:48,979 --> 00:43:52,886 I once knew a young woman whom all the songs were about. 489 00:43:52,986 --> 00:43:57,113 A green-eyed dazzler I met in a Forrestof Nead dance hall. 490 00:43:57,213 --> 00:44:02,017 I've always carried her inside me, through thick and thin, 491 00:44:02,117 --> 00:44:05,611 though she was killed before you were born. 492 00:44:10,974 --> 00:44:12,683 Ever since... 493 00:44:17,335 --> 00:44:21,342 Ever since, I've been sort of pulled to this or that girl, 494 00:44:21,352 --> 00:44:24,979 but the song was always in the wrong key. 495 00:44:24,989 --> 00:44:27,410 Leave it out, willya? 496 00:44:27,510 --> 00:44:31,852 When I was staring and staring at you in that brasserie on... God, 497 00:44:31,862 --> 00:44:34,802 was it only Tuesday night and this is Friday? 498 00:44:34,902 --> 00:44:37,921 It seems years ago... - Tuesday, that's right. 499 00:44:38,021 --> 00:44:41,708 I was with that bugger Peter. Last time an' all. 500 00:44:41,718 --> 00:44:43,510 I stared and stared. 501 00:44:43,610 --> 00:44:46,340 I know I was more than half-way nuts at the time, 502 00:44:46,350 --> 00:44:49,861 what with the drink and the pain and the way I'd been feeling... 503 00:44:50,705 --> 00:44:55,552 and even though I was putting my words-on-the-page into your mouth 504 00:44:55,562 --> 00:44:59,985 I could still feel something else going on inside me... 505 00:45:00,085 --> 00:45:05,529 things were stirring again. Feelings that had been dormant fot years! 506 00:45:05,539 --> 00:45:07,581 Been what? - Asleep. 507 00:45:07,681 --> 00:45:08,821 Oh. 508 00:45:09,935 --> 00:45:14,682 And you woke me up. I... was... awakened. 509 00:45:14,782 --> 00:45:17,297 But I hardly spoke a... - You woke a part of me 510 00:45:17,307 --> 00:45:19,988 that knew the words but didn't know the song. 511 00:45:25,327 --> 00:45:30,368 Of course I know as a sometimes rational man, 512 00:45:31,142 --> 00:45:35,032 of course, of course it's physical, it's sexual, erotic... 513 00:45:35,042 --> 00:45:37,218 'Ang out a minute... 514 00:45:38,116 --> 00:45:42,642 And of course I'd like to lie beside you 515 00:45:42,742 --> 00:45:46,199 and stroke you and hold you 516 00:45:46,484 --> 00:45:48,254 and kiss you 517 00:45:49,338 --> 00:45:51,464 and rhapsodize you... 518 00:45:51,564 --> 00:45:53,464 What me? 519 00:45:56,963 --> 00:45:59,062 Exactly. 520 00:45:59,162 --> 00:46:03,055 Well. I could... um... I mean... 521 00:46:03,155 --> 00:46:05,601 Do you want a hand job or something.. ? 522 00:46:12,042 --> 00:46:16,497 You dear girl... You funny, funny little... 523 00:46:16,507 --> 00:46:21,295 But that's only because I want to help you out. I mean, what's happening to you and all... 524 00:46:21,395 --> 00:46:23,722 Christ, must be awful! 525 00:46:28,983 --> 00:46:32,554 You don't really want to work in that place, 526 00:46:32,654 --> 00:46:35,800 that Karaoke club or whatever it is. Do you? 527 00:46:35,900 --> 00:46:38,422 Nah! You're supposed to offer yourself, you know. 528 00:46:38,522 --> 00:46:44,451 Get 'em going. Champagne at three hundred pounds a bo'le and anyfink else on top. 529 00:46:44,551 --> 00:46:48,480 But I usually get out of it. - Usually. 530 00:46:49,020 --> 00:46:51,982 I get caught sometimes. But... 531 00:46:51,992 --> 00:46:54,237 by then they're usually too pissed to... 532 00:46:54,337 --> 00:46:57,260 I hate it! I hate the whole fucking world sometimes! 533 00:46:57,270 --> 00:47:00,347 Sandra. Listen to me... - And where's my bleed'n gun! 534 00:47:00,447 --> 00:47:03,760 I paid a lot for that! You nicked it... Where is it? 535 00:47:12,677 --> 00:47:16,142 What would you like to do? What sort of work? 536 00:47:16,152 --> 00:47:19,771 Manicure 'n' hairdressin'. - Then can't you? 537 00:47:19,871 --> 00:47:24,934 I was! On this watchacallit... like apprentice. 538 00:47:25,682 --> 00:47:30,975 Nice place 'n' all. They paid nothing, or nearly, but I loved it! 539 00:47:30,985 --> 00:47:33,926 But me mum... she has these turns, you know, 540 00:47:33,936 --> 00:47:36,705 and had to go to this place... 541 00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:40,663 He did more than smash up her face, that cruel bugger, 542 00:47:40,673 --> 00:47:43,206 he banged up her mind as well. 543 00:47:44,551 --> 00:47:49,840 Anyway, it all fell few. And I... oh, I dunno... 544 00:47:50,553 --> 00:47:52,860 I've got meself stuck, enn'I? 545 00:47:53,680 --> 00:47:55,218 Like I'm... 546 00:47:56,996 --> 00:48:00,547 like it's all... I dunno... useless. 547 00:48:07,246 --> 00:48:08,655 Two conditions. 548 00:48:09,256 --> 00:48:14,156 One, you don't go back to that karaoke place, or anything else like it, again... 549 00:48:14,256 --> 00:48:16,136 not ever. Never! 550 00:48:16,236 --> 00:48:20,425 Two, you take a proper course, apprenticeship or whatever it is called, 551 00:48:20,435 --> 00:48:23,549 in this hairdressing, nail thing you like doing... No. Three conditions. 552 00:48:23,559 --> 00:48:25,858 Forget about the gun, and everything it means. 553 00:48:25,868 --> 00:48:28,873 Oh, yeah? And if pig 'ad wings. - In return... 554 00:48:28,883 --> 00:48:33,041 you will get 2500 pounds a month for the rest of your life... 555 00:48:33,141 --> 00:48:33,703 What? 556 00:48:33,713 --> 00:48:38,608 And your mother will get 1000 pounds a month for as long as she needs it. 557 00:48:38,708 --> 00:48:42,718 All of this will be set in place just as soon as possible. 558 00:48:42,728 --> 00:48:46,441 Ben Baglin, dear Ben, the man who brought you here, 559 00:48:46,451 --> 00:48:50,804 will make all the arrangements, him and his solicitor, Andrew Adam. 560 00:48:50,814 --> 00:48:55,228 It'll all be safe. It'll all be guaranteed. 561 00:48:55,238 --> 00:48:58,678 But here and now, Sandra, once and for all, 562 00:48:58,688 --> 00:49:04,007 promise, solemnly promise to do and not do the things I said. 563 00:49:08,977 --> 00:49:12,358 Promise! Promise! 564 00:49:13,269 --> 00:49:16,017 I promise. I really bloody do! 565 00:49:26,634 --> 00:49:31,018 And now you must go. - Go? Oh, but... 566 00:49:31,028 --> 00:49:34,369 Everything is all right. Everything will be as I said it will be. 567 00:49:34,963 --> 00:49:36,585 Come on. Stand up. 568 00:49:42,968 --> 00:49:48,252 I... oh, my God... I don't know what to say. 569 00:49:51,914 --> 00:49:58,569 Thank you! - Ah ah... it's OK... just a twinge, and a... 570 00:50:02,206 --> 00:50:07,032 Look... somebody's coming along in about five minutes to shove something up my bum. 571 00:50:07,042 --> 00:50:09,709 To what? - To help me, Sandra. 572 00:50:11,054 --> 00:50:16,600 Everything is written down in here in clear way in a language you are sure to understand. 573 00:50:16,610 --> 00:50:22,835 Ben's address, numbers, the amounts, how it'll be paid, oh, the whole lot. Take it. 574 00:50:22,888 --> 00:50:26,132 Ta. Yes... I mean, thank you. 575 00:50:26,142 --> 00:50:29,232 And Ben will talk to you on Monday. Go to his office... 576 00:50:29,242 --> 00:50:32,332 He'll take you somewhere nice to lunch... - Will he? 577 00:50:32,342 --> 00:50:35,731 And answer all your questions, or any you think of in the future. 578 00:50:39,132 --> 00:50:48,182 And... Now... Not too tightly, please... Give us a kiss. 579 00:50:51,723 --> 00:50:53,842 Oh, you darling! 580 00:51:33,310 --> 00:51:34,931 Goodbye, Sandra. 581 00:51:35,986 --> 00:51:39,823 But ent I going to see you again nor nuffink... ! - We'll see. 582 00:51:41,254 --> 00:51:42,916 Goodbye, Sandra. 583 00:51:43,177 --> 00:51:44,880 Goodbye, Daniel. 584 00:51:58,801 --> 00:52:02,269 I'm still going to get that bugger though. You see if I don't! 585 00:52:18,242 --> 00:52:21,664 There. That was fine. 586 00:52:26,073 --> 00:52:30,265 We shan't be bothering you for the next eight hours now. A holiday! 587 00:52:30,275 --> 00:52:33,566 Ta. - Your tablets are in this little box. 588 00:52:33,576 --> 00:52:35,919 You take them now, or in the next few minutes. Yes? 589 00:52:35,929 --> 00:52:38,440 Yes. Thank you. I will. 590 00:52:38,886 --> 00:52:40,370 See you! 591 00:52:49,045 --> 00:52:52,554 I'm still going to get that bugger though. You see if I don't! 592 00:54:40,190 --> 00:54:47,575 Happy ending. Happy ending! Must write a happy... 593 00:55:00,410 --> 00:55:02,366 Will there be any stars, 594 00:55:03,257 --> 00:55:05,771 Any stars in my crown, 595 00:55:06,694 --> 00:55:09,771 When at evening the sun goes down? 596 00:55:10,877 --> 00:55:14,958 When I wake with the blest, In the Mansion of Rest, 597 00:55:15,546 --> 00:55:18,814 Will there be any stars in my... 598 00:55:34,487 --> 00:55:39,004 So keep repeating it's the berries 599 00:55:39,014 --> 00:55:43,808 The strongest oak must fall 600 00:55:43,818 --> 00:55:46,487 The sweet things in life 601 00:55:46,497 --> 00:55:48,760 To you were just loaned 602 00:55:48,770 --> 00:55:51,094 So how can you lose 603 00:55:51,194 --> 00:55:53,371 What you've never owned? 604 00:55:53,471 --> 00:55:57,792 Life is just a bowl of cherries 605 00:55:57,892 --> 00:56:08,223 So live and laugh at it all! 606 00:56:13,849 --> 00:56:18,689 Lovely. Lovely. OK. Let's have our next song... 607 00:56:27,032 --> 00:56:30,409 I play the song, you sing the words, it's easy... 608 00:56:30,419 --> 00:56:34,730 and it's fun! Come on, one of you gents! 609 00:56:34,740 --> 00:56:36,774 Let's have a bit of English up there, eh? 610 00:56:36,784 --> 00:56:41,758 I'm game. - You are? Here. Pick a good 'un. 611 00:56:44,651 --> 00:56:46,858 I've always wanted to do this. 612 00:56:48,508 --> 00:56:50,720 Number twenty-seven! 613 00:57:11,090 --> 00:57:17,602 ¶ A long time ago a million years BC 614 00:57:18,949 --> 00:57:24,635 ¶ The best things in life were absolutely free 615 00:57:26,021 --> 00:57:29,313 ¶ But no one appreciated 616 00:57:29,413 --> 00:57:32,188 ¶ A sky that was always blue 617 00:57:32,288 --> 00:57:35,653 ¶ And no one congratulated 618 00:57:35,753 --> 00:57:40,677 ¶ A moon that was always new 619 00:57:51,605 --> 00:57:57,584 ¶ That's what storms were made for 620 00:57:57,684 --> 00:58:03,710 ¶ And you shouldn't be afraid for... 621 00:58:03,810 --> 00:58:08,792 ¶ Every time it rains it rains 622 00:58:08,892 --> 00:58:12,685 ¶ Pennies from heaven. 623 00:58:12,785 --> 00:58:17,402 ¶ Don't you know each cloud contains 624 00:58:17,502 --> 00:58:20,935 ¶ Pennies from heaven. 625 00:58:22,043 --> 00:58:27,097 ¶ You'll find your future falling 626 00:58:27,197 --> 00:58:31,936 ¶ All over town 627 00:58:32,036 --> 00:58:36,854 ¶ Be sure that your umbrella 628 00:58:36,954 --> 00:58:42,191 ¶ Is upside down 629 00:58:42,840 --> 00:58:47,867 ¶ Trade them for a package of 630 00:58:47,967 --> 00:58:51,790 ¶ Sunshine and flowers 631 00:58:52,763 --> 00:58:57,441 ¶ If you want the things you love 632 00:58:57,541 --> 00:59:01,750 ¶ You must have showers 633 00:59:01,850 --> 00:59:07,339 ¶ So when you hear it thunder 634 00:59:07,439 --> 00:59:12,814 ¶ Don't run under a tree, 635 00:59:12,914 --> 00:59:17,131 ¶ There'll be pennies from heaven 636 00:59:17,231 --> 00:59:26,595 ¶ For you and me! 637 00:59:53,962 --> 00:59:56,859 My goodness... ! That's what I call cash. 638 00:59:56,959 --> 01:00:01,152 That's nothing. Nothing! Pocket money. 639 01:00:01,989 --> 01:00:06,738 Know why they call me 'Pig'? 'Pig' Mailion? 640 01:00:06,748 --> 01:00:08,515 Um. It doesn't sound very nice. 641 01:00:08,615 --> 01:00:12,615 It's cos I like me dosh by the trough-load, fella! 642 01:00:12,625 --> 01:00:17,760 Well, that's the... Sorry. Frog in my throat. 643 01:00:17,770 --> 01:00:20,045 Nah. Not a frog. 644 01:00:20,629 --> 01:00:24,264 You got gold in them tonsils, I'll tell you. 645 01:00:24,274 --> 01:00:31,282 Now, listen, what you need is a good manager, somebody who'll... 646 01:00:32,988 --> 01:00:37,781 Hey. What is this? 647 01:00:38,404 --> 01:00:42,868 You need a few stars in your crown, Arthur. 648 01:00:59,849 --> 01:01:03,141 ....... Funshine and slowers 649 01:01:23,004 --> 01:01:24,772 Who is it... ? - It's Daniel. 650 01:01:24,782 --> 01:01:26,745 Dan... - Yes. 651 01:01:26,845 --> 01:01:30,273 It's lucking fate, old boy! - Note the time! 652 01:01:30,739 --> 01:01:34,366 Do what? - I said; note the time. 653 01:01:35,245 --> 01:01:37,749 You called me, right? - Dan, what's going on? 654 01:01:37,759 --> 01:01:40,879 Just do as I say. And then in... a... 655 01:01:41,048 --> 01:01:46,079 In thirty-five minutes telephone my room in the hospital. 656 01:01:46,089 --> 01:01:48,343 No... forty minutes. I'll be there. 657 01:01:56,430 --> 01:01:59,120 It's called an alibi, old chum. 658 01:01:59,220 --> 01:02:10,025 It's called a capital A alibi comma old chum full stop 659 01:02:14,494 --> 01:02:16,430 capital initials. 660 01:02:16,530 --> 01:02:20,009 The End full stop 661 01:02:20,836 --> 01:02:22,734 And underline. 662 01:02:29,324 --> 01:02:33,792 Subs edited by CINEMAAS.