1 00:00:00,042 --> 00:00:01,680 I said it. I said it right there. 2 00:00:01,735 --> 00:00:03,287 I was like, "You a woman." 3 00:00:03,324 --> 00:00:04,158 - Mm-hmm. - "I'm a man." 4 00:00:04,177 --> 00:00:05,460 - Mm-hmm. - There's a difference-- 5 00:00:05,505 --> 00:00:06,838 Oh, what? 6 00:00:07,008 --> 00:00:08,475 They bumpin' [bleep] up in here. 7 00:00:08,559 --> 00:00:09,824 Here it is. It's going off. 8 00:00:09,878 --> 00:00:11,253 Yo! Hey! 9 00:00:13,553 --> 00:00:17,270 Which one of y'all mother[bleep]... 10 00:00:18,057 --> 00:00:20,460 - ...bumped me? - I did. 11 00:00:20,602 --> 00:00:23,436 What the [bleep] you gonna do about it? 12 00:00:23,751 --> 00:00:25,301 What's up? 13 00:00:28,084 --> 00:00:30,835 Oh, I'll tell you what I'ma do about it! 14 00:00:30,921 --> 00:00:32,053 You don't want to do this today. 15 00:00:32,172 --> 00:00:33,171 Ooh, yeah. Yeah, what? 16 00:00:33,256 --> 00:00:34,505 You lucky my friend's holding me. 17 00:00:34,591 --> 00:00:36,257 You lucky, 'cause I'll tear your head off! 18 00:00:36,343 --> 00:00:38,560 Don't hold me back, dude! Don't hold me back! 19 00:00:38,678 --> 00:00:40,311 Oh, okay. Then go for it. 20 00:00:45,819 --> 00:00:47,518 See, I know, though, 21 00:00:47,604 --> 00:00:49,821 if I were to lunge at you right now, 22 00:00:49,906 --> 00:00:51,823 my friend right here-- he'd catch me 23 00:00:51,908 --> 00:00:53,191 at the last possible second-- 24 00:00:53,326 --> 00:00:55,360 No, no, no, I won't. 25 00:01:01,501 --> 00:01:05,003 But my friend does have the cognizance 26 00:01:05,088 --> 00:01:07,789 to tell me I don't need to be going up 27 00:01:07,874 --> 00:01:10,925 and committing capital murder up in a club tonight. 28 00:01:11,044 --> 00:01:12,543 Oh, no, just knock him unconscious, dog. 29 00:01:12,679 --> 00:01:15,013 Bam! 30 00:01:15,098 --> 00:01:16,214 You don't have to kill anybody. 31 00:01:16,349 --> 00:01:19,767 I mean, no need for that. That's excessive. 32 00:01:19,886 --> 00:01:21,853 Tear him up. 33 00:01:21,938 --> 00:01:23,771 I will, but-- 34 00:01:23,890 --> 00:01:27,692 Wait. Let me finish my sentence. 35 00:01:27,777 --> 00:01:30,361 I will, uh... 36 00:01:32,782 --> 00:01:34,315 Oh! 37 00:01:34,401 --> 00:01:37,368 Oh, snap. You know what? 38 00:01:37,454 --> 00:01:39,904 You lucky my boy's using his telekinetic powers 39 00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:41,572 to hold me back right now. 40 00:01:41,708 --> 00:01:43,124 No, I'm not. 41 00:01:43,513 --> 00:01:47,848 Well, maybe it's the type of telekinesis 42 00:01:47,946 --> 00:01:51,549 that's a mutant power that you didn't realize you had 43 00:01:51,635 --> 00:01:54,085 until the moment it-- 44 00:01:54,170 --> 00:01:55,420 Oh, oh! 45 00:01:55,505 --> 00:01:56,804 I got it. I see, I see. 46 00:01:56,923 --> 00:01:58,006 So you want me to hold you back. 47 00:01:58,091 --> 00:01:59,307 [bleep]... 48 00:02:00,977 --> 00:02:02,310 I'm a dragon. 49 00:02:02,429 --> 00:02:03,939 Oh, yeah, I want to rip this. 50 00:02:03,973 --> 00:02:05,980 I'm a lion. I'm a tiger over here. 51 00:02:06,099 --> 00:02:07,899 I'm a bear. Oh, my. 52 00:02:07,984 --> 00:02:09,350 I'll go crazy on you. 53 00:02:09,436 --> 00:02:10,614 Oh, I can't believe it. 54 00:02:10,662 --> 00:02:12,349 The man-- He's like a tornado up in here. 55 00:02:12,405 --> 00:02:13,488 Don't hold me back. 56 00:02:13,530 --> 00:02:15,073 I can't even believe I can hold him back. 57 00:02:15,158 --> 00:02:16,074 Do it, man! 58 00:02:16,159 --> 00:02:17,358 I can't believe I'm this strong! 59 00:02:17,444 --> 00:02:18,826 Let me go! Let me go! 60 00:02:18,945 --> 00:02:20,912 I'm one-arming it. I can't believe I'm this strong. 61 00:02:20,997 --> 00:02:21,946 Let me go! 62 00:02:22,032 --> 00:02:23,281 I'ma hold him back with one finger. 63 00:02:23,366 --> 00:02:24,866 He's like a little baby. He can't get past me. 64 00:02:24,951 --> 00:02:26,284 He's like a little--Ow! What? 65 00:02:26,369 --> 00:02:29,120 - I'm a little baby? - I'm holding you back, man! 66 00:02:29,255 --> 00:02:30,421 - You're stupid, man! - I know. 67 00:02:30,507 --> 00:02:31,839 I got carried away. I apologize. 68 00:02:31,958 --> 00:02:33,257 What you mean you got carried away? 69 00:02:33,343 --> 00:02:35,259 You told me to hold you back. I was holding you back. 70 00:02:35,345 --> 00:02:36,344 What do you want me to do? 71 00:02:36,463 --> 00:02:37,679 In a fight situation, no means no, 72 00:02:37,797 --> 00:02:38,680 and yes means yes. 73 00:02:38,798 --> 00:02:40,098 How would I have known that? 74 00:02:40,183 --> 00:02:41,516 Oh, wait. Come on, man, ow. 75 00:02:41,634 --> 00:02:42,800 Come on, that hurt. 76 00:02:42,886 --> 00:02:43,885 And you holding me back now? 77 00:02:43,970 --> 00:02:45,520 Thank you very much for that. 78 00:02:45,638 --> 00:02:48,022 Okay, well, just at least change it up. 79 00:02:48,141 --> 00:02:49,607 Okay, now you listen. 80 00:03:12,002 --> 00:03:15,234 Sync & corrections by dwigt addic7ed.com 81 00:03:16,069 --> 00:03:17,952 - You know what we have as men? - What's that? 82 00:03:18,037 --> 00:03:21,539 The sorrow to know that we will never 83 00:03:21,658 --> 00:03:25,576 bring life into this planet. 84 00:03:25,662 --> 00:03:27,578 Are you-- Is that something that you're mourning? 85 00:03:27,664 --> 00:03:28,746 Are you mourning the fact 86 00:03:28,831 --> 00:03:30,298 that you don't have that opportunity? 87 00:03:30,383 --> 00:03:33,668 I mean, women have the special superhuman power 88 00:03:33,803 --> 00:03:36,921 to produce another human from their body. 89 00:03:37,006 --> 00:03:38,506 We do help in that endeavor... 90 00:03:38,641 --> 00:03:40,841 - more often than not. - Eh. 91 00:03:40,977 --> 00:03:42,944 We toss a little something in there, 92 00:03:43,012 --> 00:03:43,928 into the mixture. 93 00:03:44,013 --> 00:03:45,229 Did you have to say "toss"? 94 00:03:45,348 --> 00:03:48,733 Well, you know, you do things your way. 95 00:03:48,851 --> 00:03:51,235 I'll do things my way. 96 00:03:51,354 --> 00:03:52,486 Do you know what I mean? 97 00:03:52,572 --> 00:03:53,854 Mm-mm. No. No, no, wait. 98 00:03:53,940 --> 00:03:54,939 Hold on. No. I do not-- 99 00:03:55,024 --> 00:03:57,158 I have no idea what you mean. 100 00:04:02,665 --> 00:04:03,864 So what do you want to do tonight? 101 00:04:03,950 --> 00:04:05,533 Like, I was thinking maybe we could meet up 102 00:04:05,618 --> 00:04:07,201 with Amy and Brad, and, like, before that, 103 00:04:07,287 --> 00:04:08,786 we could go to Angela's, and before that, 104 00:04:08,871 --> 00:04:10,037 we could, like, just go-- 105 00:04:10,173 --> 00:04:12,540 Meegan. 106 00:04:12,625 --> 00:04:14,675 I have something to say. 107 00:04:18,047 --> 00:04:19,764 I had to say it in person 108 00:04:19,882 --> 00:04:23,634 because it's-- it's, like, super important. 109 00:04:25,688 --> 00:04:28,389 Okay. 110 00:04:28,524 --> 00:04:30,224 Um... 111 00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:32,727 I know this is sudden, but, like, 112 00:04:32,862 --> 00:04:36,063 I've been thinking about this for a while. 113 00:04:36,199 --> 00:04:40,067 And I know this is something that needs to happen. 114 00:04:40,153 --> 00:04:41,402 I'm breaking up with you. 115 00:04:41,537 --> 00:04:42,903 Cool. Love it. 116 00:04:43,039 --> 00:04:45,156 Totally fine with that. 117 00:04:48,995 --> 00:04:51,078 - R-Really? - Yeah. 118 00:04:51,164 --> 00:04:53,247 'Cause I thought-- 119 00:04:53,383 --> 00:04:54,749 I was really worried 120 00:04:54,834 --> 00:04:57,301 that you were gonna be, like, mad. 121 00:04:57,420 --> 00:04:59,170 Mad? Oh, my God. 122 00:04:59,255 --> 00:05:00,671 Are you kidding me? 123 00:05:00,757 --> 00:05:03,257 No, of course I'm not mad. 124 00:05:03,343 --> 00:05:04,925 People grow apart. It happens. 125 00:05:05,011 --> 00:05:06,177 It's, like, part of life. 126 00:05:06,262 --> 00:05:07,428 No, I'm totally fine. 127 00:05:07,513 --> 00:05:10,681 Like, love it, love it, love it. 128 00:05:10,767 --> 00:05:13,067 Um... 129 00:05:13,152 --> 00:05:15,569 So... 130 00:05:15,655 --> 00:05:17,188 Uh, um... 131 00:05:17,273 --> 00:05:19,523 we had a good run. 132 00:05:19,609 --> 00:05:20,691 Yeah. 133 00:05:24,947 --> 00:05:27,531 And, uh, don't be a stranger. 134 00:05:27,617 --> 00:05:30,167 Can I just-- 135 00:05:30,286 --> 00:05:32,286 Can I ask why? 136 00:05:32,372 --> 00:05:34,588 - Why? - Yeah, like, whatevs. 137 00:05:34,674 --> 00:05:36,207 Like, I'm doing some work on myself 138 00:05:36,292 --> 00:05:37,842 and, like, trying to grow as a person, 139 00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:40,795 so I'd really, like, appreciate to know why. 140 00:05:40,880 --> 00:05:42,430 Yeah, um... 141 00:05:42,515 --> 00:05:44,131 Okay, yeah, that's, like-- 142 00:05:44,267 --> 00:05:46,517 You know, I think that you're kind of, like, 143 00:05:46,636 --> 00:05:48,769 a controlling person who-- 144 00:05:48,855 --> 00:05:50,137 Thank you. Thank you for that. 145 00:05:50,223 --> 00:05:53,107 That's nice. Thank you for that. 146 00:05:53,192 --> 00:05:54,809 Cool. No problem. 147 00:05:54,894 --> 00:05:56,977 So you know what your problem is, Andre? 148 00:05:57,113 --> 00:05:58,195 What? 149 00:05:58,314 --> 00:06:01,232 You keep tabs on people. 150 00:06:01,317 --> 00:06:02,650 Every little thing somebody does, 151 00:06:02,735 --> 00:06:06,203 you have to keep a tab of it. 152 00:06:06,322 --> 00:06:09,206 Wait. I-I can't tell if you're angry or not. 153 00:06:09,325 --> 00:06:10,324 I'm not. 154 00:06:10,460 --> 00:06:12,710 Mm, totally not angry. 155 00:06:12,829 --> 00:06:13,961 No, I'm excited. It's good. 156 00:06:14,047 --> 00:06:16,163 It's just, like, you said your piece, 157 00:06:16,299 --> 00:06:19,667 and I just think that I deserve the human decency 158 00:06:19,802 --> 00:06:21,085 to say my piece. 159 00:06:21,170 --> 00:06:22,136 Right, right. 160 00:06:22,221 --> 00:06:24,221 Is that-- is that not okay? 161 00:06:24,340 --> 00:06:26,507 No, no, no. It's-- 162 00:06:26,592 --> 00:06:28,676 Of course, of course. 163 00:06:28,761 --> 00:06:30,478 You're a controlling, manipulative person. 164 00:06:30,563 --> 00:06:31,846 Everyone says that. 165 00:06:31,931 --> 00:06:33,347 I-I don't think that I am. 166 00:06:33,433 --> 00:06:35,349 Yes, you are, Andre. 167 00:06:35,435 --> 00:06:39,153 Yes, you mother[bleep] are. 168 00:06:39,238 --> 00:06:41,322 Okay, now--now, you sound pretty angry. 169 00:06:41,407 --> 00:06:43,524 I'm not angry! 170 00:06:43,659 --> 00:06:45,659 I'm not angry. I'm fine. 171 00:06:45,745 --> 00:06:46,660 I love it! 172 00:06:46,746 --> 00:06:48,496 I love that you came to my house, 173 00:06:48,581 --> 00:06:50,331 and you broke up with me in my space. 174 00:06:50,416 --> 00:06:52,333 And I'm gonna think about that every time I'm here. 175 00:06:52,418 --> 00:06:53,868 That's great. That is so perfect for me. 176 00:06:54,003 --> 00:06:56,170 It's the best thing that's ever happened to me. 177 00:06:56,255 --> 00:06:57,505 Where else was I supposed to do it? 178 00:06:57,590 --> 00:06:58,839 'ause you won't come to my house. 179 00:06:58,925 --> 00:07:01,592 Oh, here he is. The puppet master is back. 180 00:07:01,711 --> 00:07:03,344 But I'm not-- No, I'm not the puppet master. 181 00:07:03,429 --> 00:07:04,712 Why are you doing this to me? 182 00:07:04,847 --> 00:07:06,297 It's true. You won't come to my house. 183 00:07:06,382 --> 00:07:08,015 You said my apartment looks like two rats 184 00:07:08,101 --> 00:07:09,550 just [bleep] in it every [bleep] day. 185 00:07:09,635 --> 00:07:11,552 Oh, right, like, thank you for that. 186 00:07:11,637 --> 00:07:12,853 I'm a bitch. Thank you. 187 00:07:12,939 --> 00:07:14,388 I didn't call-- No, I didn't say "bitch." 188 00:07:14,474 --> 00:07:15,473 - I didn't-- - Which is it? 189 00:07:15,558 --> 00:07:16,807 Am I evil, or am I a bitch? 190 00:07:16,893 --> 00:07:18,109 No, no, you're not evil, Meegan. 191 00:07:18,227 --> 00:07:19,894 Well, then why are you punishing me? 192 00:07:20,029 --> 00:07:21,946 I'm not punishing you. I'm not-- 193 00:07:22,064 --> 00:07:23,114 You broke up with me, 194 00:07:23,232 --> 00:07:24,648 and I'm not supposed to feel punished. 195 00:07:24,734 --> 00:07:27,067 Who thinks like that? 196 00:07:27,203 --> 00:07:29,120 I don't know! I'm sorry. 197 00:07:29,238 --> 00:07:30,905 I'm sorry, okay, Meegan? 198 00:07:30,990 --> 00:07:32,406 I guess I didn't think it through. 199 00:07:32,542 --> 00:07:33,741 Well, it's, like, too late now. 200 00:07:33,876 --> 00:07:35,659 - I mean, we're done. - No, it's not too late. 201 00:07:35,745 --> 00:07:37,878 Meegan, Meegan, seriously, I just-- 202 00:07:37,964 --> 00:07:41,248 I-I-I had a feeling that I thought was true, 203 00:07:41,384 --> 00:07:43,584 and clearly-- clearly it wasn't true. 204 00:07:43,719 --> 00:07:45,753 Like, I'm so confused. 205 00:07:45,888 --> 00:07:47,087 Like, are you breaking up with me, 206 00:07:47,223 --> 00:07:48,422 or are you not breaking up with me? 207 00:07:48,558 --> 00:07:51,258 Meegan, I'm not breaking up with you! 208 00:07:51,344 --> 00:07:53,093 Okay, cool. So what do you want to do tonight? 209 00:07:53,179 --> 00:07:54,678 Like, I want to hang out with Amy and Brad, 210 00:07:54,764 --> 00:07:56,564 but maybe before that, we can go to Angela's. 211 00:08:00,987 --> 00:08:02,987 What just happened? 212 00:08:09,016 --> 00:08:10,856 Welcome back to The Morty Jebsen Show. 213 00:08:10,892 --> 00:08:11,879 I'm Morty Jebsen. 214 00:08:12,067 --> 00:08:14,067 We're here today continuing our conversation 215 00:08:14,104 --> 00:08:17,322 with unbelievable mega superstar 216 00:08:17,441 --> 00:08:19,241 Young Bidness. 217 00:08:19,326 --> 00:08:20,992 Now, Young Bidness, I got to tell you, 218 00:08:21,111 --> 00:08:22,327 we've been tiptoeing around 219 00:08:22,446 --> 00:08:23,912 a particular subject all day, 220 00:08:23,997 --> 00:08:25,781 and I think it's time to broach it. 221 00:08:25,916 --> 00:08:28,254 You've separated recently with your actress girlfriend, 222 00:08:28,290 --> 00:08:29,284 Tina Bouquet. 223 00:08:29,369 --> 00:08:31,586 - No, Mort, Mort. - And everybody wants to know-- 224 00:08:31,672 --> 00:08:33,121 We ain't gonna talk about that. 225 00:08:33,257 --> 00:08:35,090 I'm not here to talk about that. 226 00:08:35,122 --> 00:08:36,689 I just want to hear your side of the story. 227 00:08:36,710 --> 00:08:38,710 You don't want to hear-- I told y'all mother[bleep] 228 00:08:38,796 --> 00:08:40,295 we weren't gonna talk about that, Mort. 229 00:08:40,380 --> 00:08:42,047 I'm trying to talk about the music. 230 00:08:42,132 --> 00:08:44,299 And lots of people understand that you're talking 231 00:08:44,384 --> 00:08:46,184 about your own personal experiences. 232 00:08:46,303 --> 00:08:48,436 Your fans would like to know-- 233 00:08:48,522 --> 00:08:49,805 How many times I need-- 234 00:08:49,890 --> 00:08:51,890 Why-- What-- The fans don't want to know. 235 00:08:51,975 --> 00:08:53,141 That's-- You want to know! 236 00:08:53,185 --> 00:08:54,443 - I just want to clarify-- - You want to know. 237 00:08:54,478 --> 00:08:56,311 You ain't want to clari-- You want clarification? 238 00:08:56,396 --> 00:08:57,813 I want to hear your side of the story. 239 00:08:57,948 --> 00:08:59,314 I'll tell you my side of the story. 240 00:08:59,399 --> 00:09:00,615 Interview's over. How about that? 241 00:09:00,701 --> 00:09:01,616 Interview's over. 242 00:09:01,702 --> 00:09:02,901 - Please, Young Bidness. - Done. 243 00:09:02,986 --> 00:09:04,653 There's no need for the interview to be over. 244 00:09:04,788 --> 00:09:05,821 Interview's over. 245 00:09:05,906 --> 00:09:07,322 All y'all mother[bleep]. 246 00:09:07,457 --> 00:09:09,791 Young Bidness, there's no need for the language or any of this. 247 00:09:09,877 --> 00:09:11,326 All y'all-- I told y'all mother[bleep] 248 00:09:11,461 --> 00:09:12,627 I wasn't gonna talk about that. 249 00:09:12,713 --> 00:09:14,045 Do you want to talk about the album? 250 00:09:14,164 --> 00:09:16,131 'cause I'd be more than happy to talk about the album. 251 00:09:16,216 --> 00:09:17,549 - This is the C-Word. - Mort. 252 00:09:17,668 --> 00:09:19,501 It looks like it's well on its way to going platinum. 253 00:09:19,586 --> 00:09:21,837 [bleep]-- Get the [bleep] away from me, [bleep]. 254 00:09:21,922 --> 00:09:24,756 Louis, Louis. 255 00:09:24,842 --> 00:09:26,258 Well on its way to going platinum. 256 00:09:26,343 --> 00:09:27,592 We can talk about this. 257 00:09:27,678 --> 00:09:29,344 This [bleep] is tucked in here. 258 00:09:29,429 --> 00:09:30,345 It's fine with me. 259 00:09:30,430 --> 00:09:31,646 You want to talk about the album? 260 00:09:31,732 --> 00:09:32,731 We can talk about the album. 261 00:09:32,850 --> 00:09:33,899 How about Tanks of Truth? 262 00:09:34,017 --> 00:09:35,901 Tanks of Truth-- is that a treatise 263 00:09:36,019 --> 00:09:37,819 on the conflict with ISIS? 264 00:09:37,905 --> 00:09:39,855 I mean, what-- talk to me about this. 265 00:09:39,990 --> 00:09:41,189 What-- 266 00:09:41,275 --> 00:09:42,774 Young Bidness, please, I'm begging you. 267 00:09:42,860 --> 00:09:44,492 Just sit down, take a deep breath, 268 00:09:44,578 --> 00:09:45,610 and let's discuss. 269 00:09:45,696 --> 00:09:47,245 - No. - Let's discuss the album. 270 00:09:47,364 --> 00:09:49,447 It's done, Mort. It's done. 271 00:09:53,003 --> 00:09:54,452 So... 272 00:09:54,538 --> 00:09:55,871 You brought this on yourself, Mort. 273 00:09:56,006 --> 00:09:57,756 - Young Bidness-- - You brought it on yourself. 274 00:09:57,875 --> 00:09:58,930 Young Bidness, Young Bidness, 275 00:09:59,007 --> 00:10:00,625 I would really love it if you had a seat, 276 00:10:00,711 --> 00:10:01,877 and we could just talk together 277 00:10:01,962 --> 00:10:03,712 about anything-- anything you want. 278 00:10:03,847 --> 00:10:06,047 We don't--I won't mention Tina's name again. 279 00:10:06,183 --> 00:10:07,215 Young Bidness. 280 00:10:07,301 --> 00:10:09,050 How the [bleep]-- 281 00:10:09,186 --> 00:10:10,468 Youthful Commerce-- 282 00:10:10,554 --> 00:10:11,686 How does-- where does it go to? 283 00:10:11,772 --> 00:10:13,221 Louis, help him. 284 00:10:13,307 --> 00:10:15,891 No, get the [bleep]-- get the [bleep] off me, Louis. 285 00:10:16,026 --> 00:10:17,442 Louis, go. 286 00:10:17,561 --> 00:10:18,560 Leave it be. 287 00:10:18,645 --> 00:10:20,028 You're exacerbating the situation. 288 00:10:20,113 --> 00:10:22,030 This [bleep] attached to? 289 00:10:22,115 --> 00:10:24,115 - It's probably-- - It's just a lot of slack. 290 00:10:24,234 --> 00:10:26,234 The cord is blending in with the color of the carpet. 291 00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:27,986 - So what--what-- - Okay, I just think that-- 292 00:10:28,071 --> 00:10:30,655 Young Bidness, why don't you drop the mic cable 293 00:10:30,741 --> 00:10:32,073 and have a seat? 294 00:10:32,159 --> 00:10:34,376 This is what we used to call back in the Army a FUBAR. 295 00:10:34,461 --> 00:10:35,961 Let me just--okay, let me just tell you-- 296 00:10:36,079 --> 00:10:38,079 No, get-- don't get involved. 297 00:10:38,165 --> 00:10:39,331 We have to get you out of here. 298 00:10:39,416 --> 00:10:41,416 Amy, please, can we just get-- 299 00:10:41,501 --> 00:10:44,469 Listen-- Here, If you let go of it... 300 00:10:44,588 --> 00:10:45,470 Let me get in there. 301 00:10:45,589 --> 00:10:47,005 Don't get in it. Don't--See? 302 00:10:47,090 --> 00:10:48,089 I'm trying to get around-- 303 00:10:48,175 --> 00:10:50,425 Don't step on my jacket! 304 00:10:50,560 --> 00:10:52,177 $1,500 jacket, bitch. 305 00:10:52,262 --> 00:10:53,428 Get-- 306 00:10:53,513 --> 00:10:55,931 Why do we have black cords and a black carpet? 307 00:10:56,016 --> 00:10:57,565 All right, well, you mother[bleep]-- 308 00:10:57,651 --> 00:11:02,237 I told y'all I wasn't gonna-- Louis, I swear to [bleep] God! 309 00:11:02,322 --> 00:11:04,155 We're gonna take care of it. 310 00:11:04,274 --> 00:11:05,440 Just stay put. 311 00:11:05,575 --> 00:11:06,775 Now you got-- 312 00:11:06,860 --> 00:11:09,110 Now I seemed to have gotten myself tangled in it. 313 00:11:09,196 --> 00:11:11,079 Don't--you ain't-- 314 00:11:11,164 --> 00:11:13,114 Get off me, man. 315 00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:14,282 Now it's just me. 316 00:11:14,368 --> 00:11:15,283 Can I--may I help you? 317 00:11:15,369 --> 00:11:16,418 Don't touch the jacket. 318 00:11:16,503 --> 00:11:17,452 I'm sorry. 319 00:11:17,587 --> 00:11:18,787 Look, okay, here's-- 320 00:11:18,922 --> 00:11:20,622 - Raise you knee. - There's one end right here. 321 00:11:20,707 --> 00:11:23,008 - You got to get--Now-- - Hold on. I got bursitis. 322 00:11:23,126 --> 00:11:24,092 You know what? Here. 323 00:11:24,177 --> 00:11:25,176 Here's what we're gonna do. 324 00:11:25,295 --> 00:11:26,878 Have a seat here. Put your fanny right here. 325 00:11:26,964 --> 00:11:28,880 - Don't say "fanny." - There. 326 00:11:28,966 --> 00:11:30,215 - There you go. - All right. 327 00:11:30,300 --> 00:11:32,550 How you--You do it-- What, you do this-- 328 00:11:32,684 --> 00:11:34,208 Don't. You ain't taking the pants off. 329 00:11:34,260 --> 00:11:36,362 Nicole, God damn it. Where is Jerry? 330 00:11:36,473 --> 00:11:38,023 This is some [bleep] right here. 331 00:11:38,141 --> 00:11:40,191 Same sound guy for 27 years, 332 00:11:40,310 --> 00:11:41,476 and he vanishes into thin air. 333 00:11:41,611 --> 00:11:42,477 All right, all right, no. 334 00:11:42,612 --> 00:11:43,611 Nicole, for God's sake. 335 00:11:43,697 --> 00:11:46,314 All right, Louis, Louis. 336 00:11:46,450 --> 00:11:47,399 Hold that. 337 00:11:47,484 --> 00:11:49,868 Don't do anything but hold that. 338 00:11:49,987 --> 00:11:51,202 Okay, no, no. You got to put-- 339 00:11:51,321 --> 00:11:52,454 No, [bleep], you got to take-- 340 00:11:52,539 --> 00:11:54,739 No, you can't take the pants off over the shoes! 341 00:11:54,825 --> 00:11:56,458 You can't take the pants off over the shoes! 342 00:11:56,543 --> 00:11:58,043 Louis, Louis, get your white ass 343 00:11:58,161 --> 00:11:59,044 out the mother[bleep]. 344 00:11:59,162 --> 00:12:00,962 You ain't helping nobody. 345 00:12:01,048 --> 00:12:02,964 - All right, all right. - I'm taking the shoes off. 346 00:12:03,050 --> 00:12:06,051 Okay, left one first. All right, well... 347 00:12:06,169 --> 00:12:08,303 do whatever the [bleep] you want, then, [bleep], fine. 348 00:12:08,388 --> 00:12:10,839 Thank you. One, two... 349 00:12:10,924 --> 00:12:12,307 Thank you! 350 00:12:12,392 --> 00:12:14,809 I told y'all I wasn't gonna talk about that [bleep]! 351 00:12:21,268 --> 00:12:23,735 We'll be right back with Alec Baldwin. 352 00:12:26,857 --> 00:12:28,907 I'm not like one of those guys that's, like-- 353 00:12:29,026 --> 00:12:30,692 who wants a girl to call him "Daddy" or anything. 354 00:12:30,827 --> 00:12:32,444 I don't like... 355 00:12:32,529 --> 00:12:34,029 Uncle is fine. 356 00:12:34,114 --> 00:12:35,613 You know what I mean? 357 00:12:35,699 --> 00:12:37,699 - Grandpa. - Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 358 00:12:40,287 --> 00:12:42,370 - You know, this is the-- - Papi. 359 00:12:42,506 --> 00:12:43,421 - Papi. - Abuelo. 360 00:12:43,540 --> 00:12:44,539 You know? Just no-- 361 00:12:44,674 --> 00:12:46,541 Just-- Daddy is just-- 362 00:12:46,676 --> 00:12:48,176 That's weird. That's strange to me. 363 00:12:48,261 --> 00:12:50,011 - That's strange to me. - It's weird. 364 00:12:50,097 --> 00:12:51,262 That's strange to me. 365 00:12:51,381 --> 00:12:54,049 Your Highness. These are the kind of-- 366 00:12:54,184 --> 00:12:55,350 Big boy. 367 00:12:55,435 --> 00:12:56,718 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 368 00:12:56,803 --> 00:12:58,436 Paul Bunyan. 369 00:12:58,555 --> 00:12:59,888 I'll go for "babe." 370 00:12:59,973 --> 00:13:01,356 Oh, hello. 371 00:13:07,192 --> 00:13:10,944 Do you think a girl would be disappointed if I got her 372 00:13:11,029 --> 00:13:14,197 a ring that was diamonds made to look like 373 00:13:14,332 --> 00:13:15,999 the Ghostbusters symbol? 374 00:13:16,084 --> 00:13:18,081 Do not make me stop this car, 375 00:13:18,837 --> 00:13:20,787 'cause I will stop this car and strand you 376 00:13:20,872 --> 00:13:22,422 in the middle of the Mojave Desert. 377 00:13:22,455 --> 00:13:23,532 I'm just asking a question. 378 00:13:23,541 --> 00:13:24,707 That's the most--No. 379 00:13:24,843 --> 00:13:26,376 That's the most ludicrous thing 380 00:13:26,511 --> 00:13:28,211 I've ever heard you utter in my life. 381 00:13:28,346 --> 00:13:30,046 That's what I mean. Well, I just-- 382 00:13:30,131 --> 00:13:31,965 Is that a thought that was in your mind? 383 00:13:32,050 --> 00:13:32,966 I'm thinking something-- 384 00:13:33,051 --> 00:13:34,934 I mean, we both have to look at it 385 00:13:35,053 --> 00:13:36,019 all the time, 386 00:13:36,104 --> 00:13:38,855 so it's, like, you know-- 387 00:13:38,940 --> 00:13:42,191 She wants something that comes from my heart. 388 00:13:42,277 --> 00:13:43,309 The Ghostbusters symbol-- 389 00:13:43,395 --> 00:13:44,777 that's just, like, the first thing-- 390 00:13:44,896 --> 00:13:46,613 Oh, Jordan. 391 00:13:46,731 --> 00:13:48,731 Don't ever do that again. 392 00:13:48,817 --> 00:13:51,117 Don't ever speak to me of diamond-encrusted 393 00:13:51,236 --> 00:13:53,236 Ghostbusters symbols again, ever. 394 00:13:53,321 --> 00:13:54,719 Buy that for you. 395 00:13:58,910 --> 00:14:00,326 There you go. 396 00:14:00,412 --> 00:14:01,411 Excuse me. 397 00:14:01,546 --> 00:14:02,578 Oh, excuse me, sir. 398 00:14:02,714 --> 00:14:04,297 Are you sitting in 26G? 399 00:14:04,416 --> 00:14:05,381 Yes. 400 00:14:05,433 --> 00:14:06,549 Have I done something wrong? 401 00:14:06,565 --> 00:14:07,917 No, no, no, no, we just wanted to ask 402 00:14:07,965 --> 00:14:09,252 if you would mind switching seats 403 00:14:09,316 --> 00:14:11,471 so that a mother and a child could sit together. 404 00:14:12,752 --> 00:14:14,761 But I'm back there. 405 00:14:14,864 --> 00:14:17,010 Right, yeah, but you'd actually be sitting here... 406 00:14:19,753 --> 00:14:21,669 Which is in Economy Plus. 407 00:14:22,117 --> 00:14:23,900 It's actually an upgrade. 408 00:14:23,985 --> 00:14:24,984 Upgrade, you say. 409 00:14:25,070 --> 00:14:26,986 Mm-hmm. 410 00:14:27,072 --> 00:14:28,655 Economy Plus. 411 00:14:28,740 --> 00:14:29,739 Yes, sir. 412 00:14:29,875 --> 00:14:31,908 Oh. 413 00:14:31,993 --> 00:14:33,243 Don't mind if I do. 414 00:14:33,378 --> 00:14:35,044 Great, great. Carry-on? 415 00:14:35,130 --> 00:14:37,831 Carry on yourself, Alex. 416 00:14:37,916 --> 00:14:39,299 Thank you. 417 00:14:41,753 --> 00:14:43,553 Economy Plus. 418 00:14:43,638 --> 00:14:45,755 Mm, for the discerning passenger. 419 00:14:48,727 --> 00:14:52,545 We're not in Kansas anymore, Toto. 420 00:14:52,768 --> 00:14:55,005 Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. 421 00:14:55,107 --> 00:14:57,908 We should be leaving Topeka in the next ten minutes. 422 00:14:57,933 --> 00:14:59,316 I stand corrected. 423 00:14:59,396 --> 00:15:01,313 Looks like we're gonna have a smooth flight. 424 00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:02,826 Trust me, I know the captain, 425 00:15:02,893 --> 00:15:05,093 and he is, uh, one smooth guy. 426 00:15:18,673 --> 00:15:21,174 Of course he knows the captain. 427 00:15:21,293 --> 00:15:22,759 He is the captain. 428 00:15:22,844 --> 00:15:26,462 Oh-ho-ho! Ho! Oh! 429 00:15:26,548 --> 00:15:28,662 Move over, Colin Mochrie. 430 00:15:28,723 --> 00:15:31,134 There's a new face in the biz. 431 00:15:31,269 --> 00:15:33,052 His name is Captain. 432 00:15:37,776 --> 00:15:40,860 Have to be in Economy Plus to get it, I guess. 433 00:15:45,917 --> 00:15:48,401 Extra foot room. 434 00:15:48,486 --> 00:15:50,987 One inch at least. 435 00:15:51,122 --> 00:15:52,739 Mm. 436 00:15:55,961 --> 00:15:58,828 Sky Shoppe magazine. 437 00:16:00,165 --> 00:16:02,298 Don't mind if I do. 438 00:16:03,585 --> 00:16:07,108 Oh, dog-eared for my convenience. 439 00:16:08,220 --> 00:16:10,858 Lord of the Rings cups. 440 00:16:11,927 --> 00:16:13,915 Lord of the Rings tables. 441 00:16:14,813 --> 00:16:16,179 Oh. Oh! 442 00:16:16,314 --> 00:16:20,016 Oh! Holy shiatsu massage! 443 00:16:20,151 --> 00:16:22,352 Economy Plus! 444 00:16:22,437 --> 00:16:25,500 It hurts a little, but-- but I like it. 445 00:16:31,162 --> 00:16:32,362 Wrong spot. 446 00:17:10,452 --> 00:17:11,734 Hmm. 447 00:17:11,870 --> 00:17:13,970 And I thought I had an upgrade. 448 00:17:22,089 --> 00:17:24,923 Hey, happy house-- What the [bleep]? 449 00:17:25,195 --> 00:17:26,763 What? 450 00:17:27,299 --> 00:17:29,132 You-- Hitler mustache. 451 00:17:29,211 --> 00:17:31,385 What? No, no, no, no, dog. 452 00:17:31,504 --> 00:17:33,268 No, this a Charlie Chaplin mustache. 453 00:17:33,470 --> 00:17:34,720 You know Charlie Chaplin, right? 454 00:17:34,807 --> 00:17:36,106 Yeah, I know Charlie Chaplin. 455 00:17:36,192 --> 00:17:38,442 You know I'm a fan of silent-film comedy, right? 456 00:17:38,527 --> 00:17:39,727 Yeah? 457 00:17:39,812 --> 00:17:41,278 Well, come on, man! 458 00:17:41,364 --> 00:17:44,198 Hitler ain't the only person who gets to have this mustache. 459 00:17:44,317 --> 00:17:46,950 Yeah, I guess Michael Jordan had one, too, for a little bit. 460 00:17:47,036 --> 00:17:48,369 Exactly, exactly, right? 461 00:17:48,487 --> 00:17:50,871 And guess what. I'm not gonna let some monster 462 00:17:50,990 --> 00:17:53,073 from the 20th century dictate fashion 463 00:17:53,159 --> 00:17:55,041 for all of eternity, you know what I'm talking about? 464 00:17:55,111 --> 00:17:57,444 Other people get to have this mustache if they want it. 465 00:17:57,747 --> 00:17:59,997 All right, yeah, it just-- 466 00:18:00,132 --> 00:18:01,832 just kind of caught me off guard. 467 00:18:01,917 --> 00:18:04,001 Okay, all right. 468 00:18:04,136 --> 00:18:05,252 Oh, man, you crazy. 469 00:18:05,338 --> 00:18:07,054 You got to take it easy, man. 470 00:18:07,173 --> 00:18:08,839 This is my abode, brother. 471 00:18:10,226 --> 00:18:11,642 When did you get a German shepherd? 472 00:18:11,727 --> 00:18:12,643 What, Adolph here? 473 00:18:12,728 --> 00:18:14,144 Say what? 474 00:18:14,230 --> 00:18:16,897 No, no. 475 00:18:17,016 --> 00:18:17,898 No. 476 00:18:18,017 --> 00:18:19,183 Not Adolf Hitler, okay? 477 00:18:19,268 --> 00:18:20,851 Adolph Marx. Harpo. 478 00:18:20,986 --> 00:18:23,270 I love the Marx Brothers. Why are you busting my chops? 479 00:18:23,356 --> 00:18:24,826 - You know this. - Well, it's-- 480 00:18:24,962 --> 00:18:25,927 You know what? 481 00:18:25,989 --> 00:18:28,439 You need to relax and take it easy, okay? 482 00:18:28,828 --> 00:18:30,361 Everything is cool, man. 483 00:18:30,496 --> 00:18:32,746 Let's crack these open, all right? 484 00:18:32,865 --> 00:18:34,198 I'll show you the kitchen. 485 00:18:34,283 --> 00:18:35,199 Kitchen's amazing, man. 486 00:18:35,284 --> 00:18:36,784 The best part about this house is, 487 00:18:36,869 --> 00:18:38,786 I got this thing for, like, $20,000-- 488 00:18:38,871 --> 00:18:40,671 Oh, no! 489 00:18:40,756 --> 00:18:41,705 What? 490 00:18:41,841 --> 00:18:42,882 Nope. 491 00:18:42,930 --> 00:18:44,513 What, the swastika? 492 00:18:44,729 --> 00:18:46,111 Yeah, the swastika. 493 00:18:46,170 --> 00:18:48,328 This is a vintage comedy prop 494 00:18:48,413 --> 00:18:50,296 from the movie The Producers, okay? 495 00:18:50,354 --> 00:18:51,236 You saw The Producers, 496 00:18:51,259 --> 00:18:52,475 the musical inside the musical. 497 00:18:52,510 --> 00:18:53,949 Mel Brooks-- and they did a remake. 498 00:18:53,988 --> 00:18:55,688 It had Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick in it. 499 00:18:55,726 --> 00:18:56,758 Nathan Lane was in the cut. 500 00:18:56,919 --> 00:18:59,002 That's a symbol of hate, man. 501 00:18:59,301 --> 00:19:00,876 You can't just hang that on your wall. 502 00:19:00,926 --> 00:19:03,143 It's a comedy prop, man. 503 00:19:03,181 --> 00:19:04,597 It's just like a rubber chicken. 504 00:19:04,697 --> 00:19:06,313 It's not like a rubber chicken. 505 00:19:06,399 --> 00:19:08,065 You need to relax. 506 00:19:08,151 --> 00:19:09,783 You need to take it easy right now. 507 00:19:09,869 --> 00:19:11,869 Have a beer, all right? Just sit down. 508 00:19:14,073 --> 00:19:16,240 Fine. 509 00:19:18,828 --> 00:19:21,835 I'm a big comedy fan. You like comedy, right? 510 00:19:22,548 --> 00:19:24,276 Yeah, who doesn't like comedy? 511 00:19:24,345 --> 00:19:26,417 Well, there's a lot of people who don't like comedy. 512 00:19:26,502 --> 00:19:28,552 You know, there's a lot of people out there, dog, 513 00:19:28,671 --> 00:19:30,921 straight up, who don't have a sense of humor, man. 514 00:19:31,007 --> 00:19:32,306 - Yeah, that's true. - Right? 515 00:19:32,391 --> 00:19:34,975 I mean, there are people who-- 516 00:19:35,061 --> 00:19:36,510 I'll go so far as to say-- are comedy haters. 517 00:19:36,596 --> 00:19:38,068 All right. 518 00:19:38,118 --> 00:19:39,640 But it'd just be better if, you know, 519 00:19:39,690 --> 00:19:41,023 instead of putting each other down, 520 00:19:41,089 --> 00:19:42,631 if all the comedy lovers got together 521 00:19:42,714 --> 00:19:45,082 and found some-- somehow to organize 522 00:19:45,271 --> 00:19:48,189 and do something about the comedy-hater problem. 523 00:19:48,324 --> 00:19:49,356 Okay. 524 00:19:49,492 --> 00:19:50,824 I have a proposition for you. 525 00:19:50,910 --> 00:19:52,526 What if you were to be my second-in-command 526 00:19:52,612 --> 00:19:54,695 in figuring out a way to get rid of all the comedy haters? 527 00:19:54,780 --> 00:19:56,030 I was thinking what we could do is 528 00:19:56,115 --> 00:19:58,415 put all of them in, like, one little small section of town, 529 00:19:58,534 --> 00:20:00,584 and then we can demonize them in the media. 530 00:20:00,703 --> 00:20:02,084 Nope. 531 00:20:03,256 --> 00:20:04,705 You a Nazi. 532 00:20:04,790 --> 00:20:06,040 What is going on? 533 00:20:06,125 --> 00:20:07,232 All right, see you at work. 534 00:20:10,213 --> 00:20:12,880 You ever had a friend who got into Phish? 535 00:20:12,965 --> 00:20:14,381 Fun band. Good jam band. 536 00:20:14,467 --> 00:20:17,184 But when dudes get into Phish, 537 00:20:17,270 --> 00:20:18,385 they don't come back. 538 00:20:18,419 --> 00:20:19,952 They don't come back. No, I've been there. 539 00:20:20,189 --> 00:20:21,055 It's a bad drug. 540 00:20:21,190 --> 00:20:22,856 Dudes start getting into, like-- 541 00:20:22,942 --> 00:20:26,193 "Man, so I went to--yeah, I went to that one concert. 542 00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:28,280 "I got 'Weasel Face.' 543 00:20:28,368 --> 00:20:30,814 "They did 'Bubble Trouble.'" 544 00:20:30,900 --> 00:20:31,815 Oh, really? 545 00:20:31,901 --> 00:20:33,951 "Straight into 'Sponge Head.'" 546 00:20:34,070 --> 00:20:34,952 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 547 00:20:35,071 --> 00:20:37,071 You're just like, 548 00:20:37,206 --> 00:20:40,705 "[bleep], what's wrong with your [bleep] head?" 549 00:20:41,577 --> 00:20:42,710 Well, and then, finally, I was like, 550 00:20:42,795 --> 00:20:44,044 "All right, man. I'll go, I'll go. 551 00:20:44,130 --> 00:20:46,714 "I'll go to this-- I'll go to this Phish show." 552 00:20:46,799 --> 00:20:48,499 Cut to me 20 minutes in, talking about-- 553 00:20:50,586 --> 00:20:53,254 Ah! I'm getting a bobble head! 554 00:20:58,223 --> 00:21:01,066 Who you gonna call? 555 00:21:01,091 --> 00:21:03,264 Hi. I'm Ray Parker, Jr., 556 00:21:03,416 --> 00:21:06,533 writer and performer of the Academy Award-nominated 557 00:21:06,669 --> 00:21:09,536 hit single "Ghostbusters" 558 00:21:09,672 --> 00:21:12,673 from the major motion picture Ghostbusters. 559 00:21:12,758 --> 00:21:14,842 But that's just one song. 560 00:21:14,927 --> 00:21:18,429 I've written so many other major motion picture theme songs 561 00:21:18,547 --> 00:21:20,464 and submitted 'em throughout the years. 562 00:21:20,549 --> 00:21:23,217 Now they're available and together 563 00:21:23,302 --> 00:21:26,353 for one specially priced compilation. 564 00:21:26,439 --> 00:21:27,721 Songs like... 565 00:21:27,807 --> 00:21:29,440 ♪ You tried to play the game ♪ 566 00:21:29,558 --> 00:21:31,775 ♪ But it's driving you insane ♪ 567 00:21:31,894 --> 00:21:33,560 ♪ Jumanji ♪ 568 00:21:33,646 --> 00:21:35,646 ♪ Danger in the jungle ♪ 569 00:21:35,731 --> 00:21:37,364 ♪ Jumanji ♪ 570 00:21:37,450 --> 00:21:39,566 ♪ There's a lion in my house ♪ 571 00:21:39,652 --> 00:21:41,702 ♪ Come on, Mr. Computer ♪ 572 00:21:41,787 --> 00:21:43,203 ♪ Throw me a bone ♪ 573 00:21:43,289 --> 00:21:45,739 ♪ I said, Lawnmower Man ♪ 574 00:21:45,825 --> 00:21:48,409 ♪ Get up off of my lawn ♪ 575 00:21:48,544 --> 00:21:50,494 ♪ When Armageddon is near ♪ 576 00:21:50,579 --> 00:21:52,496 ♪ You better get out of here ♪ 577 00:21:52,581 --> 00:21:54,999 ♪ Looking like a deep impact ♪ 578 00:21:55,084 --> 00:21:57,384 ♪ I ain't afraid of no 'stroid ♪ 579 00:21:57,470 --> 00:21:58,585 ♪ Watch out behind you ♪ 580 00:21:58,721 --> 00:21:59,753 ♪ That's where I'm gonna find you ♪ 581 00:21:59,839 --> 00:22:01,889 ♪ Pelican brief ♪ 582 00:22:01,974 --> 00:22:03,724 ♪ It's getting legal, y'all ♪ 583 00:22:03,809 --> 00:22:07,094 These songs have only been heard by the highest level 584 00:22:07,179 --> 00:22:09,263 of industry decision makers, 585 00:22:09,348 --> 00:22:12,933 but now you can feel like a Hollywood executive 586 00:22:13,019 --> 00:22:14,768 in your own home. 587 00:22:14,904 --> 00:22:17,488 ♪ I'll see your face-off ♪ 588 00:22:17,606 --> 00:22:19,106 ♪ Black guy walking around ♪ 589 00:22:19,241 --> 00:22:21,241 ♪ It's a face-off ♪ 590 00:22:21,327 --> 00:22:23,027 ♪ That ain't even your face ♪ 591 00:22:23,112 --> 00:22:25,195 ♪ Passion of the Christ ♪ 592 00:22:25,281 --> 00:22:27,164 ♪ Get me down off of this cross ♪ 593 00:22:27,283 --> 00:22:28,916 ♪ Passion of the Christ ♪ 594 00:22:29,001 --> 00:22:31,168 ♪ You know, my daddy is the boss ♪ 595 00:22:31,287 --> 00:22:33,537 ♪ Disturbia ♪ 596 00:22:33,622 --> 00:22:35,172 ♪ That's not even a word ♪ 597 00:22:35,291 --> 00:22:37,958 ♪ Gonna unnerve ya ♪ 598 00:22:38,094 --> 00:22:39,510 ♪ ♪ 599 00:22:39,628 --> 00:22:41,845 ♪ Now, there's a whole lot of kinky ♪ 600 00:22:41,964 --> 00:22:44,131 ♪ Bet that room is stinky ♪ 601 00:22:44,266 --> 00:22:45,849 ♪ Fifty shades of Grey ♪ 602 00:22:45,968 --> 00:22:48,218 All right, white people. 603 00:22:48,304 --> 00:22:50,554 ♪ Who's a slave? ♪ 604 00:22:50,639 --> 00:22:51,939 ♪ I'm not a slave ♪ 605 00:22:52,024 --> 00:22:53,857 ♪ Uh-oh ♪ 606 00:22:53,976 --> 00:22:56,060 ♪ Twelve years a slave ♪ 607 00:22:56,145 --> 00:22:58,812 Whoops! 608 00:23:00,649 --> 00:23:02,483 There's one thing I know. 609 00:23:02,568 --> 00:23:05,119 It's that persistence makes perfection. 610 00:23:05,204 --> 00:23:06,153 Ha ha. 611 00:23:06,288 --> 00:23:08,155 Sure, Hollywood missed out, 612 00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:10,344 but that doesn't mean you have to. 613 00:23:11,210 --> 00:23:13,243 ♪ Down in the basement ♪ 614 00:23:13,329 --> 00:23:15,245 ♪ What's going on? ♪ 615 00:23:15,331 --> 00:23:17,965 ♪ It's a apt pupil ♪ 616 00:23:18,050 --> 00:23:20,167 ♪ There's a kid and a Nazi down there ♪ 617 00:23:20,302 --> 00:23:24,338 ♪ ♪ 618 00:23:24,423 --> 00:23:26,140 Order now to receive your free copy 619 00:23:26,225 --> 00:23:27,924 of Bobby Sings the Twos: 620 00:23:27,969 --> 00:23:31,428 theme songs to sequels that were never made. 621 00:23:34,783 --> 00:23:37,667 What was the very first sketch we ever did? 622 00:23:37,703 --> 00:23:38,970 I think we started with Bitch. 623 00:23:39,020 --> 00:23:40,320 Did we start with Bitch? 624 00:23:40,490 --> 00:23:42,273 Oh. 625 00:23:42,409 --> 00:23:44,108 In history, I mean... 626 00:23:44,194 --> 00:23:45,434 In that moment. 627 00:23:45,522 --> 00:23:48,555 The greatest comedy 628 00:23:48,672 --> 00:23:52,450 or otherwise show ever made. 629 00:23:53,870 --> 00:23:56,523 Okay, well, I-I-- I do enjoy our show. 630 00:23:56,590 --> 00:23:58,590 You think it's the best show ever made? 631 00:23:58,675 --> 00:24:00,041 Pure classic. 632 00:24:00,126 --> 00:24:01,960 It's us... 633 00:24:02,095 --> 00:24:04,586 then, like, Dallas, then The Twilight Zone. 634 00:24:04,650 --> 00:24:06,097 There's a list out there. 635 00:24:06,182 --> 00:24:07,682 Key & Peele, 636 00:24:07,801 --> 00:24:09,133 Dallas, 637 00:24:09,269 --> 00:24:12,020 - Twilight Zone. - Just talking influential. 638 00:24:12,479 --> 00:24:14,730 Huge. I'm a visionary. 639 00:24:14,864 --> 00:24:18,476 I think that it's very possible, like, 640 00:24:18,884 --> 00:24:22,313 we'll go down like the... 641 00:24:22,449 --> 00:24:23,948 like the Wright brothers. 642 00:24:24,034 --> 00:24:25,283 Like, they're gonna be-- 643 00:24:25,368 --> 00:24:27,702 It's gonna be one of these things where we're-- 644 00:24:27,821 --> 00:24:29,487 Am I--am I going too far? 645 00:24:29,572 --> 00:24:31,823 - Am I overblowing it? - Overblowing it a little bit. 646 00:24:31,890 --> 00:24:34,095 I really just wanted to know what the first scene was. 647 00:24:34,127 --> 00:24:35,159 Oh. 648 00:24:44,838 --> 00:24:46,304 Vince, I, uh, 649 00:24:46,389 --> 00:24:50,425 I have that quarterly analysis that you asked for. 650 00:24:50,866 --> 00:24:53,645 I had a quarter of these nuts on your chin. 651 00:24:53,730 --> 00:24:56,230 Right. 652 00:24:56,349 --> 00:24:58,232 It's just that I wanted to review 653 00:24:58,283 --> 00:24:59,552 some of these numbers with you. 654 00:24:59,569 --> 00:25:01,686 It seems like our earnings are low 655 00:25:01,821 --> 00:25:03,521 against our original projections. 656 00:25:04,338 --> 00:25:06,941 These nuts were low against your chin. 657 00:25:13,533 --> 00:25:15,616 You know, Vince, 658 00:25:15,702 --> 00:25:18,286 if you ever need to talk to me about something, 659 00:25:18,371 --> 00:25:20,254 I'm more than happy to listen. 660 00:25:20,373 --> 00:25:22,840 These nuts would be more than happy to rest against your chin. 661 00:25:28,932 --> 00:25:31,299 Hey, look, you've been doing this for about a week now, 662 00:25:31,384 --> 00:25:33,551 and it was kind of funny at first. 663 00:25:33,687 --> 00:25:36,938 These nuts were kind of funny against your chin. 664 00:25:37,057 --> 00:25:38,890 Vince, I'm worried about you. 665 00:25:46,737 --> 00:25:49,067 I was worried about these nuts on your chin. 666 00:25:49,152 --> 00:25:51,369 Vince, seriously. 667 00:25:53,740 --> 00:25:56,207 These nuts were seriously on your chin. 668 00:25:57,660 --> 00:26:00,812 Mr. Graham, I just got a call from St. Mary's Hospital, 669 00:26:00,914 --> 00:26:03,514 and your parents were in a serious car accident. 670 00:26:03,583 --> 00:26:08,136 I'm so sorry, but your mother is dead, 671 00:26:08,254 --> 00:26:11,589 and your father is on life support. 672 00:26:15,729 --> 00:26:18,229 These nuts were supporting life on your chin. 673 00:26:18,331 --> 00:26:20,264 Oh, my God. 674 00:26:20,366 --> 00:26:22,183 Sorry, Amber. 675 00:26:22,268 --> 00:26:24,435 Vince, you got to stop it. 676 00:26:24,521 --> 00:26:26,904 Your mother just passed away. 677 00:26:26,990 --> 00:26:28,940 These nuts passed away on your chin. 678 00:26:29,025 --> 00:26:31,109 No, they didn't. They didn't. 679 00:26:31,244 --> 00:26:33,244 Vince, listen, 680 00:26:33,329 --> 00:26:35,863 you got to leave here right now and go be with your dad. 681 00:26:35,949 --> 00:26:37,865 This could be the last time that you get to see him. 682 00:26:37,951 --> 00:26:40,034 This could be the last time I get to see my nuts on your-- 683 00:26:40,120 --> 00:26:41,586 God damn it, Vincent. 684 00:26:41,671 --> 00:26:44,122 Your father might be dying. 685 00:26:44,257 --> 00:26:46,958 These nuts might be dying on your chin. 686 00:26:47,961 --> 00:26:49,544 God damn it, Vince! 687 00:26:49,629 --> 00:26:51,345 Snap the [bleep] out of it! 688 00:26:51,464 --> 00:26:53,464 Your mother is dead. 689 00:26:58,721 --> 00:27:00,972 Right. You're right. 690 00:27:01,074 --> 00:27:02,557 - You okay? - I'm okay. 691 00:27:02,642 --> 00:27:04,442 You--you're back. 692 00:27:04,527 --> 00:27:05,810 I don't know what came over me. 693 00:27:05,895 --> 00:27:07,979 - It's all right. - It was so good. 694 00:27:08,114 --> 00:27:09,814 It was--it just-- 695 00:27:09,949 --> 00:27:12,200 It worked in every situation, and then it was-- 696 00:27:12,318 --> 00:27:13,818 I know. I know. 697 00:27:13,903 --> 00:27:15,286 And it was always-- it was just so funny. 698 00:27:15,371 --> 00:27:16,988 Well, it wasn't-- it wasn't that funny. 699 00:27:17,090 --> 00:27:18,956 It was funny. 700 00:27:19,042 --> 00:27:20,658 It really wasn't that funny, Vince. 701 00:27:20,743 --> 00:27:24,045 It was... really funny. 702 00:27:24,164 --> 00:27:27,248 I would not go so far as to say it was really funny, Vince. 703 00:27:27,333 --> 00:27:29,050 It was funny. 704 00:27:29,169 --> 00:27:31,335 But it wasn't. 705 00:27:31,421 --> 00:27:34,672 It was. 706 00:27:34,808 --> 00:27:36,424 It wasn't. 707 00:27:36,509 --> 00:27:37,842 Agree to disagree. 708 00:27:37,927 --> 00:27:39,143 - It was funny. - Okay. 709 00:27:39,229 --> 00:27:40,478 - It was funny. - One more time. 710 00:27:40,563 --> 00:27:41,646 I'm just gonna go on record 711 00:27:41,731 --> 00:27:43,514 as saying it wasn't really that funny. 712 00:27:45,101 --> 00:27:46,934 I'm gonna go see my dad. 713 00:27:47,020 --> 00:27:48,769 It was funny. 714 00:27:48,855 --> 00:27:50,238 It wasn't that funny. 715 00:28:08,208 --> 00:28:10,208 Dad. 716 00:28:10,293 --> 00:28:12,877 Stay with me. 717 00:28:13,012 --> 00:28:16,214 Dad, I love you. 718 00:28:18,301 --> 00:28:20,885 And I love... 719 00:28:23,056 --> 00:28:26,307 these nuts on your chin. 720 00:28:37,871 --> 00:28:41,822 These nuts on your chin. 721 00:28:54,984 --> 00:28:57,317 This is all about Susie Diaz. 722 00:28:57,403 --> 00:28:59,069 It's Suzie Diaz's party. 723 00:28:59,188 --> 00:29:01,660 Susie Diaz is running the show. I'm just gonna show up. 724 00:29:01,740 --> 00:29:03,690 If she needs me to bring beer or something, 725 00:29:03,825 --> 00:29:05,692 I'm more than happy to do it. 726 00:29:05,827 --> 00:29:07,777 Oh, dude. Oh, my God. 727 00:29:07,863 --> 00:29:10,613 A woman just fainted. I'm gonna have to call you back. 728 00:29:12,083 --> 00:29:12,999 Ma'am. 729 00:29:13,084 --> 00:29:15,535 Ma'am. 730 00:29:15,670 --> 00:29:18,254 Oh... Um... 731 00:29:26,278 --> 00:29:27,978 911. What is your emergency? 732 00:29:28,083 --> 00:29:30,917 Yes, yeah. I'm at the corner of Fifth and Metropolitan, 733 00:29:31,053 --> 00:29:32,969 and I just came up across this woman, 734 00:29:33,088 --> 00:29:36,089 and she just-- she just passed out on the sidewalk here. 735 00:29:36,225 --> 00:29:37,591 Okay. And is she responsive, sir? 736 00:29:37,676 --> 00:29:39,259 Um... 737 00:29:45,317 --> 00:29:48,580 Okay, sir? Is she responsive? 738 00:29:49,238 --> 00:29:52,105 Sir? Sir? 739 00:29:52,241 --> 00:29:53,611 Um, no, she's-- 740 00:29:53,741 --> 00:29:56,150 - She's not responsive. - Sir, if you can hear me... 741 00:29:56,150 --> 00:29:57,944 She's... beautiful. 742 00:30:00,682 --> 00:30:02,949 That is not relevant to this emergency, sir. 743 00:30:03,035 --> 00:30:04,284 An ambulance is on its way. 744 00:30:04,419 --> 00:30:06,670 In the meantime, I need you to check her pulse. 745 00:30:06,788 --> 00:30:08,622 Check her pulse. Right, check her pulse. 746 00:30:08,757 --> 00:30:09,673 Okay. 747 00:30:11,877 --> 00:30:13,343 Does she have a pulse, sir? 748 00:30:13,462 --> 00:30:14,961 Oh, she does, 749 00:30:15,097 --> 00:30:16,713 but her skin is so soft. 750 00:30:16,798 --> 00:30:18,381 Sir... 751 00:30:18,467 --> 00:30:19,933 She doesn't have on a ton of makeup, 752 00:30:20,018 --> 00:30:21,601 but she's the kind of girl 753 00:30:21,687 --> 00:30:23,186 - that just doesn't need it. - Sir-- 754 00:30:23,305 --> 00:30:25,772 You can see that she put a lot of thought into her outfit, 755 00:30:25,857 --> 00:30:27,941 but not like she's trying too hard. 756 00:30:28,026 --> 00:30:29,442 She's perfect. 757 00:30:29,528 --> 00:30:30,644 Sir, may I remind you 758 00:30:30,779 --> 00:30:32,979 that you have not spoken a word to this woman? 759 00:30:33,115 --> 00:30:34,648 I need you to see if she's breathing. 760 00:30:34,783 --> 00:30:36,483 Is she breathing? Yeah, okay. Hold on. 761 00:30:39,821 --> 00:30:42,155 Sir, I need you to stay on track. 762 00:30:42,291 --> 00:30:44,324 Oh, God. Oh, God, she's not breathing! 763 00:30:44,459 --> 00:30:45,792 The love of my life is not breathing. 764 00:30:45,877 --> 00:30:47,160 You got to save my baby! 765 00:30:47,245 --> 00:30:49,245 Do you know how to give mouth-to-mouth resuscitation? 766 00:30:49,331 --> 00:30:50,463 Yes, I do. 767 00:30:50,549 --> 00:30:52,832 Okay. I need you to administer that now. 768 00:30:52,968 --> 00:30:56,252 Okay, okay. 769 00:30:59,508 --> 00:31:01,341 No, no. I ca-- I can't. 770 00:31:01,426 --> 00:31:03,343 I can't do it. I can't-- I can't do it. 771 00:31:03,428 --> 00:31:05,095 It just-- It's disrespectful. 772 00:31:05,180 --> 00:31:06,646 I have to be respectful for her. 773 00:31:06,732 --> 00:31:09,182 Sir, this is the only time it's okay to put your mouth 774 00:31:09,267 --> 00:31:11,401 on an unconscious woman. Do it. 775 00:31:11,520 --> 00:31:13,820 I just didn't picture it happening this way, 776 00:31:13,905 --> 00:31:15,522 and there's butterflies in my stomach, and I'm just-- 777 00:31:15,607 --> 00:31:17,741 I don't want to mess this up. 778 00:31:17,859 --> 00:31:20,327 - It's so rare to find-- - Sir, if you can hear me, 779 00:31:20,412 --> 00:31:22,362 an ambulance is on its way. 780 00:31:22,497 --> 00:31:24,581 - I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - I need you to calm down. 781 00:31:24,700 --> 00:31:26,166 - Oh, gosh, my head. - Sir? 782 00:31:26,251 --> 00:31:27,751 - I'm so light-headed. - Sir, stay with me. 783 00:31:27,869 --> 00:31:29,269 If this is what it feels like to be in love, 784 00:31:29,371 --> 00:31:32,706 this is what it must feel like when you-- when you find the one. 785 00:31:32,808 --> 00:31:35,342 Sir, are you there? 786 00:31:49,858 --> 00:31:52,142 Oh, God. 787 00:31:57,699 --> 00:31:59,532 911. What is your emergency? 788 00:31:59,618 --> 00:32:03,236 There's an attractive, confident, well-to-do black man. 789 00:32:03,372 --> 00:32:05,905 He just passed out right here on the street. 790 00:32:06,007 --> 00:32:08,074 Okay. Ma'am, listen very carefully. 791 00:32:08,176 --> 00:32:11,327 I'm going to need you to marry him. 792 00:32:11,413 --> 00:32:12,712 O-okay. 793 00:32:12,798 --> 00:32:16,383 Shouldn't I give him, like, mouth-to-mouth first? 794 00:32:16,468 --> 00:32:18,134 Yeah, girl. Get you some. 795 00:32:18,253 --> 00:32:19,919 Shoot. 796 00:32:24,760 --> 00:32:28,645 What would this country be like if black people-- 797 00:32:28,764 --> 00:32:32,432 say we were brought over as slaves, 798 00:32:32,517 --> 00:32:37,070 and then early on, black people revolted, took over the country, 799 00:32:37,155 --> 00:32:40,156 and said these evil mother[bleep] are now-- 800 00:32:40,275 --> 00:32:42,275 are the lower class, these slavers. 801 00:32:42,411 --> 00:32:43,693 Do you know what'd happen then? 802 00:32:43,779 --> 00:32:46,329 Then the song "Chocolate City" by Parliament Funkadelic 803 00:32:46,448 --> 00:32:48,248 would be our national anthem. 804 00:32:48,333 --> 00:32:49,783 - That's right. - That's what it would be. 805 00:32:49,868 --> 00:32:53,286 And white people would have a song talking about vanillas. 806 00:32:53,422 --> 00:32:54,621 "Vanilla Village." 807 00:32:54,756 --> 00:32:57,540 ♪ Vanilla Village, where all the whites live ♪ 808 00:32:57,626 --> 00:32:59,042 Here's my question to you. 809 00:32:59,127 --> 00:33:01,511 Would, then... 810 00:33:01,630 --> 00:33:04,464 white people being the oppressed race, 811 00:33:04,549 --> 00:33:06,516 would they have the soul? 812 00:33:06,635 --> 00:33:09,052 Would they have invented the blues? 813 00:33:09,137 --> 00:33:12,472 Would there be black people who are trying to act cool 814 00:33:12,557 --> 00:33:16,025 like white people called "blonkies"? 815 00:33:16,144 --> 00:33:17,266 Man, look at these blonkies. 816 00:33:17,312 --> 00:33:18,812 And you what the crazy thing is? 817 00:33:18,947 --> 00:33:20,447 Barack Obama would still be president. 818 00:33:20,532 --> 00:33:22,148 He would still be president. 819 00:33:29,407 --> 00:33:30,740 Got some change? 820 00:33:30,826 --> 00:33:33,209 Sorry, man. I ain't got nothing. 821 00:33:33,328 --> 00:33:35,128 All right. 822 00:33:42,137 --> 00:33:43,586 Hold it right there. 823 00:33:46,091 --> 00:33:47,818 Let's see some ID. 824 00:33:47,863 --> 00:33:49,759 I wasn't even doing anything, man. 825 00:33:49,845 --> 00:33:53,096 - Are you talking back to me? - No. I was just walking, man. 826 00:33:53,181 --> 00:33:55,682 Look, there is no reason for you to get upset, sir. 827 00:33:55,767 --> 00:33:57,734 - I'm not. I'm not. - All right, that's it. 828 00:33:57,853 --> 00:33:59,652 - Put your hands on your head. - Put my hands on my-- 829 00:33:59,738 --> 00:34:03,239 Put your hands on your head, yes! 830 00:34:03,358 --> 00:34:05,825 You had your chance. 831 00:34:05,911 --> 00:34:07,694 Listen, man, 832 00:34:07,829 --> 00:34:10,446 can I just ask you, like, politely, what it is that I did? 833 00:34:10,532 --> 00:34:12,031 Think I was born yesterday? 834 00:34:12,167 --> 00:34:13,449 - Come on, man, I-- - Get in the car. 835 00:34:13,535 --> 00:34:14,784 Duck your head. 836 00:34:14,870 --> 00:34:16,286 Oh! 837 00:34:16,371 --> 00:34:18,204 Ah. 838 00:34:21,877 --> 00:34:23,126 All right, officer. 839 00:34:23,211 --> 00:34:26,596 I'll take it from here. 840 00:34:26,715 --> 00:34:29,299 Well, hi, Wally. Good to see you. 841 00:34:29,718 --> 00:34:31,718 He's all yours. 842 00:34:31,803 --> 00:34:34,053 All right. 843 00:34:34,139 --> 00:34:37,056 What? 844 00:34:37,192 --> 00:34:39,192 - Y'all have a good night. - All right. 845 00:34:39,277 --> 00:34:41,027 Thanks, man, but where are we going? 846 00:34:41,112 --> 00:34:44,447 I'm glad you asked. 847 00:34:44,566 --> 00:34:45,565 Follow me. 848 00:34:45,650 --> 00:34:48,201 Through there? Aah! 849 00:34:52,574 --> 00:34:55,708 Whoa. Look at this place. 850 00:34:55,794 --> 00:34:57,327 Where are we? 851 00:34:57,412 --> 00:35:00,079 Just be patient, and I'll show you. 852 00:35:00,215 --> 00:35:01,464 Your suit changed. 853 00:35:01,583 --> 00:35:03,249 ♪ Follow me to a place I know ♪ 854 00:35:03,385 --> 00:35:05,301 ♪ Where there ain't no pain, ain't no sorrow ♪ 855 00:35:05,420 --> 00:35:09,013 ♪ It's a place to be if your skin is brown ♪ 856 00:35:09,424 --> 00:35:13,226 ♪ I'm talking about Negrotown ♪ 857 00:35:14,712 --> 00:35:17,630 Negrotown? What, like Atlanta? 858 00:35:17,766 --> 00:35:19,515 Almost. 859 00:35:19,634 --> 00:35:22,301 Now, be quiet while I sing. 860 00:35:22,387 --> 00:35:24,220 ♪ In Negrotown, you can walk the street ♪ 861 00:35:24,305 --> 00:35:25,938 ♪ Without getting stopped, harassed, or beat ♪ 862 00:35:26,024 --> 00:35:28,808 ♪ And there's always a cab when you need to get around ♪ 863 00:35:30,612 --> 00:35:33,046 - ♪ And they always stop ♪ - ♪ In Negrotown ♪ 864 00:35:33,046 --> 00:35:34,282 That's right. 865 00:35:34,282 --> 00:35:36,149 ♪ ♪ 866 00:35:36,284 --> 00:35:37,316 I think I'm getting it. 867 00:35:37,452 --> 00:35:39,368 It's like a utopia for black people. 868 00:35:39,487 --> 00:35:42,405 Yeah. But seriously, shut the [bleep] up. 869 00:35:42,490 --> 00:35:47,293 ♪ You won't get followed when you try to shop ♪ 870 00:35:47,378 --> 00:35:51,164 ♪ You can wear your hoodie and not get shot ♪ 871 00:35:51,299 --> 00:35:54,634 ♪ No white folks to cross the street in fear ♪ 872 00:35:54,719 --> 00:35:58,671 ♪ No trigger-happy cops or scared cashiers ♪ 873 00:35:58,807 --> 00:36:02,842 ♪ That loan application can't get turned down ♪ 874 00:36:02,977 --> 00:36:05,845 ♪ You're always approved in Negrotown ♪ 875 00:36:05,930 --> 00:36:06,896 This is amazing. 876 00:36:07,015 --> 00:36:08,514 I know, right? 877 00:36:08,600 --> 00:36:10,399 ♪ We're going down to Negrotown ♪ 878 00:36:10,518 --> 00:36:12,318 ♪ Where the strong black men are raining down ♪ 879 00:36:12,403 --> 00:36:16,522 ♪ There's light-skinned, dark-skinned, every shade ♪ 880 00:36:16,658 --> 00:36:20,827 ♪ And there's no white bitches to take them away ♪ 881 00:36:20,912 --> 00:36:22,612 ♪ ♪ 882 00:36:22,697 --> 00:36:24,280 This sounds too good to be true. 883 00:36:24,365 --> 00:36:26,147 It does, doesn't it? 884 00:36:26,182 --> 00:36:27,366 But can a [bleep] finish a song? 885 00:36:27,502 --> 00:36:28,367 Oh. 886 00:36:28,503 --> 00:36:30,953 I mean, can a [bleep] finish? 887 00:36:31,039 --> 00:36:33,539 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 888 00:36:33,675 --> 00:36:35,424 ♪ In Negrotown, you'll live long and well ♪ 889 00:36:35,543 --> 00:36:37,343 ♪ There's no disease, no sickle cell ♪ 890 00:36:37,428 --> 00:36:39,762 ♪ No stupid-ass white folks touching your hair ♪ 891 00:36:39,881 --> 00:36:42,882 ♪ Or stealing your coats or claiming it's theirs ♪ 892 00:36:43,349 --> 00:36:47,553 ♪ Hanging out in a group doesn't make you a gang ♪ 893 00:36:47,639 --> 00:36:51,557 ♪ Every word that you say ain't considered slang ♪ 894 00:36:51,643 --> 00:36:54,477 ♪ No one trying to get in on the latest trend ♪ 895 00:36:54,562 --> 00:36:58,397 ♪ By making you their token black friend ♪ 896 00:36:58,533 --> 00:37:02,235 ♪ It's a place where harmony is found ♪ 897 00:37:02,320 --> 00:37:06,405 ♪ It's a mother[bleep] black playground ♪ 898 00:37:06,541 --> 00:37:10,459 ♪ Talking about Negrotown ♪ 899 00:37:10,578 --> 00:37:12,461 ♪ Talking about Negro, talking about Negro ♪ 900 00:37:12,580 --> 00:37:13,963 ♪ Negro, Negro, Negro ♪ 901 00:37:14,082 --> 00:37:21,754 ♪ Talking about Negrotown ♪ 902 00:37:26,904 --> 00:37:28,311 Sir? 903 00:37:28,429 --> 00:37:29,812 Sir? 904 00:37:29,931 --> 00:37:31,931 Sir? 905 00:37:32,066 --> 00:37:35,151 Sir? 906 00:37:35,270 --> 00:37:37,486 - What? - All right, get up. 907 00:37:37,605 --> 00:37:39,438 Let's go. Get up. 908 00:37:39,574 --> 00:37:41,490 Wait a sec. Wait. what--Hold on. What? 909 00:37:41,609 --> 00:37:43,826 I thought I was going to Negrotown. 910 00:37:43,945 --> 00:37:45,611 Oh, you are. 911 00:38:03,056 --> 00:38:04,939 - Can I give you an acting note? - Sure, yeah. 912 00:38:04,942 --> 00:38:06,223 I mean 'cause, we're, you know, actors. 913 00:38:06,309 --> 00:38:07,608 We need to get notes from one another. 914 00:38:07,727 --> 00:38:09,477 - We need to grow. - Try acting a character 915 00:38:09,562 --> 00:38:11,612 a little bit less. 916 00:38:13,232 --> 00:38:14,649 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 917 00:38:17,403 --> 00:38:19,704 Whoo! Okay, here we go. 918 00:38:19,789 --> 00:38:21,372 All right, I'm-- 919 00:38:23,743 --> 00:38:26,410 - I'm sorry. - Get it. Get it. 920 00:38:26,496 --> 00:38:28,713 Get that laugh. Get it out. 921 00:38:28,798 --> 00:38:32,133 This is, like, an exercise laugh. 922 00:38:32,251 --> 00:38:33,751 Working them gigs. 923 00:38:33,836 --> 00:38:35,636 Got to get them gigs. 924 00:38:35,755 --> 00:38:38,255 Got to get them gigs. 925 00:38:38,358 --> 00:38:40,508 Okay, [bleep]-- 926 00:38:40,593 --> 00:38:42,846 [bleep] it! [bleep] it! I'm here. [bleep] this [bleep]! 927 00:38:44,809 --> 00:38:48,427 My name's Wendell, and I, too, am a sexual. 928 00:38:51,272 --> 00:38:54,023 It is true, though. 929 00:38:55,443 --> 00:38:57,994 - Oh, yeah. Thanks, man. - Did you just call me "man"? 930 00:38:58,113 --> 00:38:59,779 That's how comfortable I am with you. 931 00:38:59,914 --> 00:39:02,365 But if you were a guy, I'd still jam my fork 932 00:39:02,450 --> 00:39:03,916 in those [bleep] roast beef-- 933 00:39:06,454 --> 00:39:09,922 Is there a Cyrano de Bergerac behind you? 934 00:39:10,008 --> 00:39:11,290 I like how you're getting my side. 935 00:39:11,376 --> 00:39:12,959 God, it's like you have three hands. 936 00:39:13,094 --> 00:39:14,127 There it is. 937 00:39:16,631 --> 00:39:19,098 No, Papi. No, Papi. No, Papi. No! 938 00:39:19,184 --> 00:39:20,800 You're talking about no Papi? 939 00:39:21,970 --> 00:39:24,422 I will skewer you with my dick! 940 00:39:24,504 --> 00:39:25,420 Yeah? 941 00:39:25,477 --> 00:39:26,806 - Oh, yeah! - I'll take it! 942 00:39:26,941 --> 00:39:28,307 What else do you-- 943 00:39:29,711 --> 00:39:33,029 Destination wedding, baby-- Acapulco, June 27th. 944 00:39:33,148 --> 00:39:35,148 All right. 945 00:39:38,305 --> 00:39:42,155 I wish them terries would try to even think 946 00:39:42,240 --> 00:39:45,958 about just dropping straight-- 947 00:39:47,462 --> 00:39:49,245 Ah, [bleep]. 948 00:39:49,330 --> 00:39:51,748 I'm gonna stay in this long, though. 949 00:39:51,833 --> 00:39:53,332 And now I clinch. 950 00:39:53,418 --> 00:39:54,500 Snap. 951 00:39:56,087 --> 00:39:58,388 You snap that [bleep] dick off! 952 00:39:58,506 --> 00:40:00,173 Oh! 953 00:40:00,258 --> 00:40:02,341 Hold on a second. I'm over here-- 954 00:40:02,427 --> 00:40:04,427 Wait a second. [bleep] got caught up. 955 00:40:04,512 --> 00:40:06,095 I'm caught up. Hold up. 956 00:40:06,181 --> 00:40:07,346 We were talking about breakfast. 957 00:40:10,318 --> 00:40:13,519 So that's what I'm gonna do... 958 00:40:13,605 --> 00:40:17,106 Mark with a K. 959 00:40:40,403 --> 00:40:43,570 - Is this the place? - This is the place. 960 00:40:58,421 --> 00:41:05,175 I said, "Bitch"! 961 00:41:05,294 --> 00:41:07,678 Oh! 962 00:41:10,933 --> 00:41:13,967 - You want to go back? - Yeah. My girl's expecting me. 963 00:41:18,474 --> 00:41:21,623 Sync & corrections by dwigt addic7ed.com 964 00:41:27,400 --> 00:41:29,316 ♪ I'm gonna do my one line here ♪ 965 00:41:29,402 --> 00:41:31,402 Oh, yeah.