1 00:00:03,717 --> 00:00:06,668 I understand this is your first professional massage? 2 00:00:06,754 --> 00:00:08,921 - That's right. Mm-hmm. - Okay. 3 00:00:09,006 --> 00:00:10,457 I want to make you aware of some things 4 00:00:10,520 --> 00:00:11,816 that may or may not happen, 5 00:00:11,842 --> 00:00:14,393 but there's no need to feel embarrassed if they do. 6 00:00:14,428 --> 00:00:15,727 Okay. 7 00:00:15,763 --> 00:00:17,980 - Things such as crying. - Really? 8 00:00:18,065 --> 00:00:19,264 Mm, oh, yes. 9 00:00:19,316 --> 00:00:22,901 Massage can release pent-up emotions. 10 00:00:22,937 --> 00:00:26,855 Also, not uncommon is the release of gas. 11 00:00:26,941 --> 00:00:27,906 Like farting? 12 00:00:27,942 --> 00:00:29,858 That's right, like farting. 13 00:00:29,944 --> 00:00:32,111 - Also, erections. - Really? 14 00:00:32,196 --> 00:00:33,732 - Yeah. - I didn't know that. 15 00:00:33,810 --> 00:00:35,235 Let's get started. 16 00:00:43,290 --> 00:00:45,124 Well, at least you didn't get a-- 17 00:00:45,209 --> 00:00:46,675 There it is. 18 00:01:08,433 --> 00:01:11,709 Sync & corrections by dwigt addic7ed.com 19 00:01:11,986 --> 00:01:13,652 So what's the craziest biblical name? 20 00:01:13,737 --> 00:01:16,989 One of the best names in the Bible is Nimrod. 21 00:01:17,074 --> 00:01:18,540 Don't think that didn't come from the Bible. 22 00:01:18,626 --> 00:01:20,159 And what, is that the character that just, 23 00:01:20,211 --> 00:01:22,327 - like, [bleep] up? - No, you know what? 24 00:01:22,379 --> 00:01:25,797 Nimrod, Nimrod is-- 25 00:01:25,833 --> 00:01:27,332 Nimrod is a mighty warrior. 26 00:01:27,384 --> 00:01:29,406 There's a high school basketball team in Northern Michigan 27 00:01:29,454 --> 00:01:30,586 called the Nimrods. 28 00:01:30,671 --> 00:01:33,005 Can you imagine having to be like, 29 00:01:33,057 --> 00:01:35,924 "Who a Nimrod? We Nimrods!" 30 00:01:55,029 --> 00:01:57,162 Here we come, son. Here we come. 31 00:01:57,198 --> 00:01:59,364 Hut! 32 00:02:39,573 --> 00:02:40,739 Man, you feeling all right? 33 00:02:40,791 --> 00:02:43,909 Yeah, I'm fine, man! 34 00:02:43,994 --> 00:02:46,245 Let's go, let's go! 35 00:02:46,330 --> 00:02:48,547 - Come on! - Let's go, man! 36 00:02:48,582 --> 00:02:50,415 Man, what are we doing out there? 37 00:02:50,501 --> 00:02:52,918 What are we doing out there, huh? 38 00:02:53,003 --> 00:02:54,253 Because I don't know. 39 00:02:54,338 --> 00:02:55,804 No, seriously, what-- what are we doing? 40 00:02:55,889 --> 00:02:58,423 What-- What are we doing? 41 00:02:58,509 --> 00:02:59,925 - Playing football? - Okay, yeah. 42 00:03:00,010 --> 00:03:01,476 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, 43 00:03:01,562 --> 00:03:04,680 that's it, man. Playing football, yeah? 44 00:03:04,765 --> 00:03:06,982 Yo, Eqqsquizitine. 45 00:03:07,067 --> 00:03:09,401 You need to let the medics take a look at you, man. 46 00:03:09,436 --> 00:03:11,486 Dude, I'm all right, man. I'm fine. 47 00:03:11,572 --> 00:03:12,988 Shoot. 48 00:03:13,073 --> 00:03:14,523 I'm here, 49 00:03:14,808 --> 00:03:16,441 And I'm ready to do this, man. 50 00:03:16,477 --> 00:03:19,027 - All right. - What about you all, man? 51 00:03:19,112 --> 00:03:21,396 - Do you want this? - Yeah. 52 00:03:21,482 --> 00:03:22,678 - Yeah. - Do you want this? 53 00:03:22,731 --> 00:03:23,565 Yeah. 54 00:03:23,650 --> 00:03:25,317 - Do you want this? - Yeah! 55 00:03:25,369 --> 00:03:26,899 - Do you want this? - Yeah! 56 00:03:26,983 --> 00:03:28,370 I mean, all you had to do was ask, man. 57 00:03:28,455 --> 00:03:29,871 There's plenty of apple pie to go around. 58 00:03:29,957 --> 00:03:31,156 You want some apple pie, brother? 59 00:03:31,241 --> 00:03:32,324 You want some apple pie, brother? 60 00:03:32,376 --> 00:03:33,959 Come on, man. Who want a slice? 61 00:03:33,994 --> 00:03:37,128 Yo, Eqqsquizitine, ain't no apple pie, man. 62 00:03:37,164 --> 00:03:38,663 - That's your helmet. - Hey, hey, hey, hey. 63 00:03:38,715 --> 00:03:41,049 Dog, dog, dog, maybe you should just sit out the next play. 64 00:03:41,134 --> 00:03:42,334 - Sit out the next play? - Yeah. 65 00:03:42,419 --> 00:03:43,458 Are you gonna sit out the next play? 66 00:03:43,520 --> 00:03:44,034 Nah. 67 00:03:44,087 --> 00:03:45,109 You gonna sit out the next play? 68 00:03:45,148 --> 00:03:46,743 I didn't think so. I don't need 69 00:03:46,799 --> 00:03:48,306 to sit out the next play, and I'm gonna tell you why. 70 00:03:48,342 --> 00:03:49,758 'cause all y'all. 71 00:03:49,843 --> 00:03:51,560 'cause I know y'all got my back. 72 00:03:51,645 --> 00:03:53,678 Y'all know what I see when I look at you? 73 00:03:53,764 --> 00:03:55,730 I'ma tell you what I see. 74 00:03:55,816 --> 00:03:57,649 - Grown men... - Yeah, yeah. 75 00:03:57,684 --> 00:03:59,568 - Who look like giants... - Yeah. 76 00:03:59,653 --> 00:04:01,403 with really big shoulders... 77 00:04:01,488 --> 00:04:02,521 Yeah! 78 00:04:02,573 --> 00:04:04,155 who are wearing short pants. 79 00:04:04,191 --> 00:04:05,740 What? 80 00:04:05,826 --> 00:04:09,160 And just right there, a few seconds of complete darkness, 81 00:04:09,196 --> 00:04:11,196 and then I saw some little floaty specks of light 82 00:04:11,248 --> 00:04:12,364 in the air, up like that. 83 00:04:12,449 --> 00:04:14,032 - Eqqsquizitine. - Who is that? 84 00:04:14,117 --> 00:04:15,583 Is that Cartoons Plural talking to me? 85 00:04:15,621 --> 00:04:16,251 Yeah! 86 00:04:16,336 --> 00:04:17,335 Cartoons Plural, where you at? 87 00:04:17,371 --> 00:04:18,537 - I'm here, man. - Oh, yes. 88 00:04:18,622 --> 00:04:21,673 You have a brain injury. 89 00:04:21,708 --> 00:04:24,209 You need to get some medical attention. 90 00:04:24,261 --> 00:04:26,011 I'm gonna tell you right now, Cartoon Plural, 91 00:04:26,046 --> 00:04:28,847 who needs some medical attention is the Cougars over there. 92 00:04:28,882 --> 00:04:30,098 - Dog, dog, dog. - What, what? 93 00:04:30,183 --> 00:04:32,434 - We're playing the Bruisers. - Right, okay. 94 00:04:32,519 --> 00:04:33,552 - Bruisers. - Okay. 95 00:04:33,637 --> 00:04:34,803 Listen, y'all. 96 00:04:34,888 --> 00:04:36,771 We need to remember who we are, okay? 97 00:04:36,857 --> 00:04:38,557 We're the team of Destiny this year. 98 00:04:38,642 --> 00:04:40,392 We're the team everybody talking about. 99 00:04:40,444 --> 00:04:42,727 We're the team everybody afraid of, man. 100 00:04:42,779 --> 00:04:44,229 We got to remember who we are. 101 00:04:44,281 --> 00:04:46,982 - Who are we? - Rhinos. 102 00:04:47,067 --> 00:04:49,367 - Who are we? 103 00:04:49,403 --> 00:04:50,952 The Rhinos. 104 00:04:51,038 --> 00:04:52,370 - Who are we? - Rhinos! 105 00:04:52,406 --> 00:04:54,573 - Who are we? - Rhinos! 106 00:04:54,658 --> 00:04:56,374 - Who are we? - Rhinos! 107 00:04:56,410 --> 00:04:58,076 - Who are we? - Rhinos! 108 00:04:58,128 --> 00:05:01,296 - Are we the Rhinos? - Rhinos! 109 00:05:03,884 --> 00:05:05,000 Oh, my God. 110 00:05:05,085 --> 00:05:07,636 Somebody stole our horns. 111 00:05:07,721 --> 00:05:11,640 - We got to find our horns, y'all. - Oh, [bleep] it. 112 00:05:11,725 --> 00:05:14,726 - Where the horns at? - What the [bleep]? 113 00:05:16,665 --> 00:05:19,257 Doctor Forrest, dial 118, please. 114 00:05:19,340 --> 00:05:21,842 Dr. Forrest, please dial 1-1-8. 115 00:05:25,639 --> 00:05:28,406 - Don? - Yes, I'm here. 116 00:05:30,444 --> 00:05:32,556 Promise you'll never forget about me. 117 00:05:35,082 --> 00:05:36,157 Yes. 118 00:05:37,618 --> 00:05:39,618 Of course. 119 00:05:40,862 --> 00:05:43,788 Promise me you'll take care of our little girl. 120 00:05:43,874 --> 00:05:45,457 And love her. 121 00:05:45,509 --> 00:05:49,058 Yes, with all my heart. 122 00:05:51,214 --> 00:05:54,314 Promise me you'll stay strong for her. 123 00:05:55,719 --> 00:05:58,470 Yes, yes. 124 00:05:58,522 --> 00:06:02,774 I promise. 125 00:06:02,809 --> 00:06:05,304 And promise me you'll never sleep with another woman. 126 00:06:13,070 --> 00:06:15,214 I hear you. 127 00:06:16,957 --> 00:06:19,212 Promise me you'll take care of Mr. Big Fluffy Tail? 128 00:06:19,261 --> 00:06:20,575 Yes. 129 00:06:20,661 --> 00:06:22,377 Yes, yes, yes, done. 130 00:06:22,462 --> 00:06:26,246 That cat will be the most loved cat in the world. 131 00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:29,166 And that you won't look at porn. 132 00:06:32,089 --> 00:06:35,340 - Ahh. - Huh? 133 00:06:37,344 --> 00:06:38,810 Is that yes? 134 00:06:38,845 --> 00:06:40,777 Checky, checky, checky, checky, chickety, chickety, 135 00:06:40,826 --> 00:06:42,113 Chickety check. 136 00:06:43,100 --> 00:06:44,099 No pornography. 137 00:06:44,184 --> 00:06:46,949 Buster Brown says what? 138 00:06:47,738 --> 00:06:50,405 Is that a yes? 139 00:06:50,536 --> 00:06:53,492 Yo better believe 140 00:06:53,556 --> 00:06:55,827 I heard what you said, girl. 141 00:06:55,862 --> 00:06:57,028 You love me, right? 142 00:06:57,114 --> 00:06:59,531 Yes, I love you. Yes. 143 00:06:59,616 --> 00:07:00,946 And we're soul mates, right? 144 00:07:00,986 --> 00:07:02,917 Yes. 145 00:07:03,003 --> 00:07:05,537 So you will never, ever, 146 00:07:05,589 --> 00:07:08,403 ever think of someone else while masturbating, right? 147 00:07:09,126 --> 00:07:11,543 Message received. 148 00:07:11,628 --> 00:07:13,178 I don't understand. Is that a yes? 149 00:07:13,213 --> 00:07:15,013 Yo comprende. 150 00:07:15,048 --> 00:07:16,264 Is that a promise? 151 00:07:16,349 --> 00:07:19,300 Your request has been filed. 152 00:07:19,386 --> 00:07:22,303 Say you promise. 153 00:07:26,309 --> 00:07:30,145 Fuhgeddabouuuut, huh? 154 00:07:30,230 --> 00:07:31,896 Huh? 155 00:07:31,948 --> 00:07:33,545 - I need to hear you say it. - "It". 156 00:07:33,572 --> 00:07:34,315 I-- No, say, "I pro-- 157 00:07:34,401 --> 00:07:36,067 - "I promise." - You promise. 158 00:07:36,119 --> 00:07:39,521 You-- You promise. 159 00:07:40,741 --> 00:07:42,490 Say it. 160 00:07:42,576 --> 00:07:44,989 - Okay, "I promise." - No air quotes. 161 00:07:45,023 --> 00:07:48,814 ♪ Promises are things that mothers-- ♪ 162 00:07:48,852 --> 00:07:50,394 Say it, say it! 163 00:07:52,219 --> 00:07:54,085 I promise, I promise. 164 00:07:54,137 --> 00:07:55,336 What are you promising? 165 00:07:55,422 --> 00:07:57,422 I promise what you said. 166 00:07:57,507 --> 00:07:58,723 Fine, forget it. 167 00:07:58,759 --> 00:08:03,011 Yes. I mean, okay. 168 00:08:05,849 --> 00:08:08,408 Will you at least promise to go see my mom every day? 169 00:08:09,150 --> 00:08:10,971 So zero pornography? Done. 170 00:08:12,572 --> 00:08:13,822 I like that. 171 00:08:13,907 --> 00:08:15,240 Nurse? 172 00:08:15,929 --> 00:08:17,492 Fix my wife! 173 00:08:23,852 --> 00:08:25,929 Don't touch me right now. I'm just-- 174 00:08:26,750 --> 00:08:28,044 I'm all about you... 175 00:08:31,756 --> 00:08:34,529 I got to go to the bathroom, like, like, right quick, though. 176 00:08:34,565 --> 00:08:36,850 Give me that-- give me that bottle, here. 177 00:08:36,917 --> 00:08:38,033 I'm kidding. 178 00:08:38,396 --> 00:08:40,634 Do you know anybody who's done that? 179 00:08:40,719 --> 00:08:43,303 - Ever done that? - What, peed in a bottle? 180 00:08:43,389 --> 00:08:44,938 - Yeah. - Probably. 181 00:08:44,974 --> 00:08:46,273 I have a family member, 182 00:08:46,308 --> 00:08:48,892 one time, who had some dysentery situations. 183 00:08:48,978 --> 00:08:50,477 - Oh, no. - And we were out 184 00:08:50,562 --> 00:08:53,397 in the middle-- like, in-- It looked like this. 185 00:08:53,482 --> 00:08:55,649 - And this person-- - He had dysentery out here? 186 00:08:55,734 --> 00:08:58,068 - Now, I didn't say it was a he. - Oh. 187 00:08:58,153 --> 00:09:00,787 I'm just saying a member of my family. 188 00:09:00,823 --> 00:09:02,072 This person had to go to the bathroom. 189 00:09:02,157 --> 00:09:03,624 We're out in the middle of the desert. 190 00:09:03,659 --> 00:09:06,240 We didn't have anything for this person to go to the bathroom in. 191 00:09:06,301 --> 00:09:09,920 [bleep], there was an empty... 192 00:09:09,972 --> 00:09:11,171 Country Crock. 193 00:09:11,256 --> 00:09:14,474 Country Crock. 194 00:09:14,560 --> 00:09:16,509 - Oh, no. - There was for real, 195 00:09:16,595 --> 00:09:19,262 in real life an empty Country Crock. 196 00:09:19,348 --> 00:09:21,014 This person left the car? They left the car? 197 00:09:21,099 --> 00:09:22,432 - They left the car. - But you were in the desert, 198 00:09:22,517 --> 00:09:24,100 so somebody could have just gone-- 199 00:09:24,152 --> 00:09:25,852 They didn't have to really. 200 00:09:25,938 --> 00:09:27,354 They didn't have to. 201 00:09:27,439 --> 00:09:30,824 - And then left it? - But it was so apropros. 202 00:09:30,909 --> 00:09:33,159 Come on, man. Country Crock? 203 00:09:33,245 --> 00:09:36,363 How could we not use that? 204 00:09:36,448 --> 00:09:39,332 Oh, [bleep], I'm gonna piss myself. 205 00:09:41,197 --> 00:09:42,869 Okay, so, okay, but check this out, okay? 206 00:09:42,955 --> 00:09:46,206 So this one time in college, man, I was straight kicking game 207 00:09:46,291 --> 00:09:48,124 to this beautiful chick, Diana, man? 208 00:09:48,176 --> 00:09:50,210 And the-- It's a house party, and so anyway, 209 00:09:50,295 --> 00:09:52,128 I go to the kitchen to grab us a couple of beers, man. 210 00:09:52,180 --> 00:09:55,682 I kid you not, I slipped on a banana peel. 211 00:09:55,767 --> 00:09:57,133 A banana peel. It was like this. 212 00:09:57,185 --> 00:10:02,055 I was like-- just fell on my ass. I just busted my ass. 213 00:10:02,140 --> 00:10:03,339 A banana peel? 214 00:10:03,410 --> 00:10:05,108 Like I was Buster Keaton or something. 215 00:10:05,143 --> 00:10:07,310 I was like-- Poo! 216 00:10:12,534 --> 00:10:13,566 It's-- Uh-- 217 00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:17,203 Yo-- Uo, dog, you good? 218 00:10:17,289 --> 00:10:19,651 Yeah, man, what are you doing? 219 00:10:21,576 --> 00:10:22,981 What, me? 220 00:10:24,997 --> 00:10:27,631 It was a funny story. I was laughing. 221 00:10:28,190 --> 00:10:30,023 Then let it out, man. 222 00:10:30,154 --> 00:10:32,135 Just-- Just laugh. 223 00:10:32,170 --> 00:10:33,887 I am. 224 00:10:33,972 --> 00:10:37,173 Yeah, so, anyway, you know, so I get up, right? 225 00:10:37,225 --> 00:10:38,508 And I go to grab a beer, 226 00:10:38,593 --> 00:10:40,176 And I forget they all was shooken up 227 00:10:40,228 --> 00:10:41,511 when they fell, right? 228 00:10:41,563 --> 00:10:45,231 I kid you not, this beer exploded in my crotch, 229 00:10:45,317 --> 00:10:46,942 and it looked like I peed myself. 230 00:10:47,071 --> 00:10:49,235 And now I'm trying to walk, but my pants... 231 00:10:51,990 --> 00:10:54,357 Come on, what are we doing? 232 00:10:57,746 --> 00:10:59,529 - Don't hit-- - Don't hit my couch, Laron. 233 00:10:59,581 --> 00:11:00,664 Keep your-- 234 00:11:08,206 --> 00:11:10,874 Come on, yo. I'm just laughing with y'all. 235 00:11:10,959 --> 00:11:14,044 Well, we were laughing. 236 00:11:14,096 --> 00:11:16,179 You weren't-- You didn't, you know, make any noise. 237 00:11:16,214 --> 00:11:20,100 You just opened your mouth, and you started jiggling. 238 00:11:20,185 --> 00:11:21,384 You looked like a worm on crack. 239 00:11:21,470 --> 00:11:22,886 Mm-hmm. 240 00:11:22,938 --> 00:11:27,390 I guess everybody just has their own unique laugh. 241 00:11:27,476 --> 00:11:29,225 Okay, man, you were not laughing. 242 00:11:29,277 --> 00:11:31,811 You were not emitting sound up out your mouth, man. 243 00:11:31,897 --> 00:11:33,613 Hey, I'm good. 244 00:11:33,699 --> 00:11:36,066 Tell your story. 245 00:11:36,118 --> 00:11:38,318 Thank you. Oka-- Anyway, 246 00:11:38,403 --> 00:11:42,238 I went back to the kitchen to get two fresh beers, 247 00:11:42,290 --> 00:11:44,624 and she said, "I hate beer, 248 00:11:44,710 --> 00:11:48,328 but where did my banana go?" 249 00:11:48,413 --> 00:11:49,546 And so then we called her 250 00:11:49,581 --> 00:11:54,334 Chiquita Diana. 251 00:11:54,419 --> 00:11:56,169 There he goes. 252 00:11:56,254 --> 00:11:57,804 Laron, don't back up. 253 00:11:57,889 --> 00:11:59,089 Hey. 254 00:11:59,141 --> 00:12:00,924 - Come on, man. - Cut it out, Laron. 255 00:12:00,976 --> 00:12:03,560 Hey, get away from the turtles. 256 00:12:03,595 --> 00:12:05,678 Laron, don't do this, just don't touch my tur-- 257 00:12:05,764 --> 00:12:07,480 [bleep], get away from it. 258 00:12:07,566 --> 00:12:10,934 Why you knocking down my CDs? What are you doing? 259 00:12:11,019 --> 00:12:13,269 Okay, you put a lampshade on your head? 260 00:12:13,355 --> 00:12:14,687 - Hey. - Come on. 261 00:12:14,773 --> 00:12:16,406 - Come on, those are priceless. - Okay, you know what? 262 00:12:16,441 --> 00:12:18,074 Now I say, like, you doing it intentionally, now. 263 00:12:18,110 --> 00:12:19,409 All right, see? That's not even-- You know, 264 00:12:19,444 --> 00:12:20,944 it's almost like you choreographed it. 265 00:12:20,996 --> 00:12:21,945 You're gonna clean all this up. 266 00:12:22,030 --> 00:12:23,413 Okay. 267 00:12:23,448 --> 00:12:25,526 Look, hey, if you're gonna laugh, then just laugh! 268 00:12:26,334 --> 00:12:28,005 Damn. 269 00:12:31,957 --> 00:12:34,446 Maybe sometimes 270 00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:37,203 you ain't as funny as you think. 271 00:12:38,547 --> 00:12:39,718 All right. 272 00:12:39,857 --> 00:12:41,435 I got something that'll make you laugh. 273 00:12:42,368 --> 00:12:43,850 Huh? Bap, huh? 274 00:12:43,935 --> 00:12:45,769 - Yeah, just let it out. - There you go, Laron. 275 00:12:45,804 --> 00:12:47,008 - Yeah, that's funny. - That's it, man. 276 00:12:47,088 --> 00:12:48,161 Just let it-- Oh, no. 277 00:12:48,173 --> 00:12:49,851 - That's funny, huh? - There you go, man. 278 00:12:49,912 --> 00:12:51,660 - Oh! He going backwards. - Come on, buddy. 279 00:12:51,878 --> 00:12:54,694 Just laugh, man, just laugh. You know that's funny. 280 00:12:54,780 --> 00:12:56,062 - That's funny! - Why won't you laugh? 281 00:12:56,148 --> 00:12:57,814 - Come on, just let it out. - Just laugh, brother. 282 00:12:57,866 --> 00:12:59,365 - Come on, man. - It's a robot. 283 00:12:59,451 --> 00:13:03,153 - Oh, man, look, look, look. - Oh, oh, oh, oh, boop. Boop. 284 00:13:03,238 --> 00:13:05,054 - Let it out. - Boop. 285 00:13:06,569 --> 00:13:07,991 Let it out, let it out! 286 00:13:22,224 --> 00:13:24,235 See, that's why I didn't want to laugh. 287 00:13:39,574 --> 00:13:41,423 Have a good life. 288 00:13:50,678 --> 00:13:53,791 Do you remember the first time that you had a, like-- 289 00:13:53,824 --> 00:13:54,990 Nocturnal emission? 290 00:13:55,045 --> 00:13:56,511 Or a, even a-- 291 00:13:56,547 --> 00:13:58,046 Okay, no, that's-- 292 00:13:58,132 --> 00:14:00,549 I was gonna say, like, a good, really good sandwich, 293 00:14:00,601 --> 00:14:03,218 but a nocturnal emission. 294 00:14:03,270 --> 00:14:04,653 A wet dream, let's go. 295 00:14:04,657 --> 00:14:07,105 Is that you were-- you were gonna say sandwich? 296 00:14:07,191 --> 00:14:09,050 Yeah, I was gonna say, yeah, when was the last time-- 297 00:14:09,127 --> 00:14:11,360 the first time you had a really great sandwich? 298 00:14:11,395 --> 00:14:12,811 You talk about wet dreams. 299 00:14:12,896 --> 00:14:15,060 - No, wait a minute. - Do you remember the first time 300 00:14:15,134 --> 00:14:18,900 you had a wet dream about a sandwich? 301 00:14:18,986 --> 00:14:20,736 - 'cause I do. - 1987. 302 00:14:20,788 --> 00:14:23,572 1987. 303 00:14:28,025 --> 00:14:31,129 Bravo, welcome. Welcome. 304 00:14:31,215 --> 00:14:32,368 Sit anywhere you like. Sit here. 305 00:14:32,392 --> 00:14:34,777 Sit here, in the other one. You want to sit right here. 306 00:14:35,833 --> 00:14:36,980 That's a good lady. 307 00:14:37,087 --> 00:14:38,180 Yes, all right. 308 00:14:38,265 --> 00:14:39,347 First time? First time? 309 00:14:39,433 --> 00:14:40,232 - First time? - Is the first time? 310 00:14:40,264 --> 00:14:41,230 First time? 311 00:14:41,315 --> 00:14:42,348 - First time? - First time for you? 312 00:14:42,433 --> 00:14:43,349 - First time? - Yes. 313 00:14:43,485 --> 00:14:44,734 All right! 314 00:14:44,937 --> 00:14:47,979 Dobro, dobro, good, all right. 315 00:14:48,065 --> 00:14:49,514 So what's good? 316 00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:50,982 Well, I tell you right-- 317 00:14:51,068 --> 00:14:52,317 You have to have the kebapi. 318 00:14:52,403 --> 00:14:54,102 Kebapi is what you are going to have, okay? 319 00:14:54,188 --> 00:14:56,655 Oh, don't they serve that in the cafe across the street? 320 00:14:56,740 --> 00:14:58,062 No! 321 00:14:58,115 --> 00:15:03,445 You cannot get the kebapi at the cafe across the street! 322 00:15:07,738 --> 00:15:09,084 What? What did I say? 323 00:15:09,119 --> 00:15:11,707 Across the street is Albanian. 324 00:15:12,289 --> 00:15:15,707 This cafe, Macedonian. 325 00:15:17,184 --> 00:15:19,301 Macedonian. 326 00:15:25,135 --> 00:15:26,407 My friends, 327 00:15:27,282 --> 00:15:30,970 I like to apologize for the behavior of my passion. 328 00:15:31,553 --> 00:15:34,720 I just feel bad in my brain for people to think 329 00:15:34,911 --> 00:15:38,897 that your mouths will have been raped by the food 330 00:15:39,094 --> 00:15:43,034 that they serving at this Albanian mother of bitches. 331 00:15:43,528 --> 00:15:47,539 This mother bitches, sons of my bitch across the street, 332 00:15:47,575 --> 00:15:50,917 What they be serving is ćevapi. 333 00:15:52,796 --> 00:15:55,047 And-- And what do you serve here? 334 00:15:55,082 --> 00:15:57,520 - We serve the kebapi. - Kebapi. 335 00:15:57,918 --> 00:15:59,551 - Kebapi. - Kebapi. 336 00:15:59,587 --> 00:16:01,053 Kebapi. 337 00:16:01,088 --> 00:16:05,173 - Kebapi. - Ke...Ba...Pi. 338 00:16:05,259 --> 00:16:06,508 Kebapi. 339 00:16:06,594 --> 00:16:09,261 - Kebapi. - No, look at mouth. 340 00:16:09,313 --> 00:16:10,896 - Ke... - Ke... 341 00:16:10,931 --> 00:16:12,264 - Ba... - Ba... 342 00:16:12,316 --> 00:16:13,649 - Pi. - Pi. 343 00:16:13,734 --> 00:16:14,933 - Bapi. - Bapi. 344 00:16:14,985 --> 00:16:15,934 - Kebapi. - Kebapi. 345 00:16:16,020 --> 00:16:17,069 - Kebapi. - Kebapi. 346 00:16:17,104 --> 00:16:17,948 - Kebapi. - Kebapi. 347 00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:19,633 Now you know why you're getting it. 348 00:16:20,107 --> 00:16:21,273 - Kebapi. - Kebapi. 349 00:16:21,325 --> 00:16:22,524 - Kebapi. - You got it. 350 00:16:22,610 --> 00:16:24,109 - You finally did it, perfect. - Kebapi. 351 00:16:24,161 --> 00:16:27,997 What is the difference between kebapi and ćevapi? 352 00:16:29,098 --> 00:16:31,116 But they don't know. 353 00:16:31,201 --> 00:16:32,784 No. 354 00:16:32,836 --> 00:16:34,453 I have to forgive them, right? 355 00:16:34,538 --> 00:16:36,956 It does seem they're nice, Abud. 356 00:16:39,710 --> 00:16:42,461 For the bastard mother bitches over there 357 00:16:42,797 --> 00:16:44,880 that are serving the ćevapi... 358 00:16:44,928 --> 00:16:46,965 - Uh-huh. - Put in the grilled meat, 359 00:16:47,017 --> 00:16:50,519 Salt, chopped red pepper, diced onion, 360 00:16:50,604 --> 00:16:54,356 cream, kajmak, ajvar, 361 00:16:54,441 --> 00:16:56,642 then the cottage cheese. 362 00:17:00,314 --> 00:17:01,697 So what-- what do you serve? 363 00:17:01,782 --> 00:17:04,483 We serve the kebapi. 364 00:17:04,535 --> 00:17:07,932 And we put in the cottage cheese, the ajvar, 365 00:17:08,019 --> 00:17:10,989 the kajmak, the cream, you know? 366 00:17:11,041 --> 00:17:12,824 Then it's the diced onions... 367 00:17:12,910 --> 00:17:14,159 It sounds exactly like-- 368 00:17:14,244 --> 00:17:17,462 Chopped pepper, and then grilled meat. 369 00:17:17,498 --> 00:17:19,047 Then the grilled meat. 370 00:17:20,384 --> 00:17:22,250 And then we stir it. 371 00:17:22,336 --> 00:17:24,303 And across the street, they do-- 372 00:17:24,338 --> 00:17:27,973 Those mother bitches over there, they mix it! 373 00:17:28,178 --> 00:17:30,008 The sons of mother, 374 00:17:30,074 --> 00:17:32,896 mother sons of liar, ay-yi-yi-yi! 375 00:17:40,854 --> 00:17:42,685 I don't know what that's supposed to mean. 376 00:17:45,475 --> 00:17:47,283 - Oh, my God! - I show you! 377 00:17:47,341 --> 00:17:48,423 I'm gonna show you! 378 00:17:48,518 --> 00:17:50,468 We are here. They are there. 379 00:17:50,548 --> 00:17:52,165 We are here, they are there. 380 00:17:52,245 --> 00:17:55,107 Here, there, here, there, here, there, here-- stop. 381 00:17:55,131 --> 00:17:57,668 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 382 00:18:01,254 --> 00:18:04,941 - Good decision, my friends. - Yes, yes, yes. 383 00:18:04,988 --> 00:18:07,627 Now it is time for you to try 384 00:18:07,769 --> 00:18:09,543 the real good food, 385 00:18:09,838 --> 00:18:13,892 not what this son of my bitches 386 00:18:14,021 --> 00:18:16,284 serve across the street. 387 00:18:17,558 --> 00:18:19,444 - Um, McDonald's? - Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah. 388 00:18:19,515 --> 00:18:22,396 Make sure to give us the five stars on Yelp! 389 00:18:29,540 --> 00:18:30,507 Where is he? 390 00:18:31,325 --> 00:18:32,763 - Stanley. - Huh? 391 00:18:34,629 --> 00:18:35,655 What's going on? 392 00:18:35,721 --> 00:18:37,747 Oh, come on, I know you've been cheating on me. 393 00:18:37,832 --> 00:18:39,165 You're being ridiculous. 394 00:18:39,250 --> 00:18:41,667 Andrea, enough is enough. 395 00:18:41,917 --> 00:18:43,993 I know you have been [bleep] 396 00:18:44,025 --> 00:18:46,067 a dog behind my back. 397 00:18:46,140 --> 00:18:47,226 What? 398 00:18:47,925 --> 00:18:49,842 A dog? A dog? 399 00:18:49,894 --> 00:18:51,310 That is insane. 400 00:18:51,345 --> 00:18:54,662 Then why did I find this in the laundry room, huh? 401 00:18:57,318 --> 00:18:59,902 Oh, my God, he's here right now, isn't he? 402 00:18:59,987 --> 00:19:02,346 He's in my house right now! 403 00:19:02,422 --> 00:19:03,823 Wait, Stanley, no! Wait! 404 00:19:07,196 --> 00:19:09,246 It was you! 405 00:19:11,783 --> 00:19:13,282 You s-- Ow! What ha-- 406 00:19:13,367 --> 00:19:14,200 Aah! 407 00:19:18,372 --> 00:19:20,589 Aah! 408 00:19:29,217 --> 00:19:30,316 Go. 409 00:19:35,878 --> 00:19:36,979 Come here. 410 00:19:49,592 --> 00:19:51,030 Oh. 411 00:19:52,721 --> 00:19:54,034 I see. 412 00:19:57,505 --> 00:19:58,992 You... 413 00:20:00,562 --> 00:20:02,179 need to know... 414 00:20:03,815 --> 00:20:07,400 your dog ruined a ten-year marriage. 415 00:20:12,426 --> 00:20:14,226 And you can go to hell. 416 00:20:21,426 --> 00:20:23,739 No, he's cute, he's cute. I can see why you like him. 417 00:20:28,668 --> 00:20:30,192 Who was the first girl you kissed? 418 00:20:30,278 --> 00:20:32,528 - You got to know that. - First girl I kissed? 419 00:20:32,613 --> 00:20:34,242 I shouldn't ask names. I just don't want to-- 420 00:20:34,321 --> 00:20:36,582 No, it was, it was, it was-- I was, like, five. 421 00:20:36,617 --> 00:20:40,002 She was six. It was crazy. 422 00:20:40,087 --> 00:20:43,622 - Turbulent relationship? - It was moving too fast. 423 00:20:43,674 --> 00:20:46,008 - I ended up with cooties. - Oh, no. 424 00:20:46,093 --> 00:20:47,426 - It was terminal. - Oh, boy. 425 00:20:47,461 --> 00:20:48,844 Still have it. 426 00:20:48,930 --> 00:20:51,338 I'm fighting a sustained cooties infection. 427 00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:52,800 Infection, yeah. 428 00:20:52,831 --> 00:20:54,824 ♪ I'm gonna do my one line here ♪ 429 00:20:54,854 --> 00:20:56,803 Sync & corrections by dwigt addic7ed.com