1 00:00:08,292 --> 00:00:09,425 Sue! 2 00:00:09,460 --> 00:00:12,127 Oh, my goodness. 3 00:00:12,180 --> 00:00:14,129 Oh, my goodness. 4 00:00:14,215 --> 00:00:16,048 How are you doing, girl? 5 00:00:16,133 --> 00:00:19,185 Oh, you know, I was on my way home and was in the area. 6 00:00:19,270 --> 00:00:21,187 I just wanted to come say "Hello." 7 00:00:21,272 --> 00:00:22,471 That's it. That is all. 8 00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:23,290 Have a nice night. 9 00:00:23,334 --> 00:00:24,857 Sue, where you going, girl? 10 00:00:24,942 --> 00:00:27,142 You can't leave without coming inside. 11 00:00:27,228 --> 00:00:31,363 Oh, no, I wouldn't want to be an intrusion. 12 00:00:31,449 --> 00:00:33,566 I just wanted to say "Hello." 13 00:00:33,651 --> 00:00:34,817 - Good-bye. - Okay, now, Sue. 14 00:00:34,869 --> 00:00:36,368 There is a seat in this house 15 00:00:36,454 --> 00:00:37,987 with your name on it, girl. 16 00:00:38,039 --> 00:00:39,655 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 17 00:00:39,707 --> 00:00:40,823 I can't. 18 00:00:40,875 --> 00:00:42,458 I didn't have money for the bus. 19 00:00:42,493 --> 00:00:45,044 I'm a mess from the 50-mile walk. 20 00:00:45,129 --> 00:00:49,081 Now, why must you be so difficult, girl? 21 00:00:49,166 --> 00:00:50,299 You're right. 22 00:00:50,334 --> 00:00:52,751 I am being difficult, aren't I? 23 00:00:52,837 --> 00:00:54,753 Your life is better without me coming in, 24 00:00:54,839 --> 00:00:56,338 trust me, so there I go. 25 00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:59,675 Okay, girl, listen, everything is irie, man. 26 00:00:59,727 --> 00:01:01,060 We're good friends, all right? 27 00:01:01,145 --> 00:01:02,428 Yes, of course. 28 00:01:02,513 --> 00:01:03,929 And you know you can smell it, girl. 29 00:01:04,015 --> 00:01:05,848 - You know you smell it, girl. - What's that smell? 30 00:01:05,900 --> 00:01:07,233 You know you're smelling the fried dumplings, 31 00:01:07,318 --> 00:01:08,484 the ackee, and the saltfish, girl. 32 00:01:08,519 --> 00:01:10,319 - Oh. - Now, what's come over you? 33 00:01:10,354 --> 00:01:12,154 I should have called. I should have called. 34 00:01:12,189 --> 00:01:13,689 That's it, Sue! 35 00:01:13,741 --> 00:01:17,026 I'm formally inviting you into my home. 36 00:01:17,111 --> 00:01:18,546 Now come inside. 37 00:01:47,915 --> 00:01:51,228 Sync & corrections by dwigt addic7ed.com 38 00:01:51,862 --> 00:01:53,395 I love seeing horror movies 39 00:01:53,481 --> 00:01:55,614 in black neighborhoods the best. 40 00:01:55,700 --> 00:01:57,340 - That's the best. - Obviously, everybody. 41 00:01:57,401 --> 00:02:00,035 But it's really because it's a more interactive experience. 42 00:02:00,071 --> 00:02:01,203 Right, right. 43 00:02:01,238 --> 00:02:03,072 And you get to laugh at 44 00:02:03,124 --> 00:02:04,540 the motherfuckers in the movie... 45 00:02:04,575 --> 00:02:05,708 Right, right, right, it's good because... 46 00:02:05,743 --> 00:02:07,042 doing stupid shit. 47 00:02:07,078 --> 00:02:08,911 They be alleviating some tension for you. 48 00:02:08,996 --> 00:02:11,580 "Fuck the kid. He a demon," you know? 49 00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:12,965 "Leave the kid." 50 00:02:13,050 --> 00:02:14,466 That's the best when they just, 51 00:02:14,552 --> 00:02:16,502 like, brutally practical. 52 00:02:16,587 --> 00:02:17,753 - "Leave that kid." - yeah. 53 00:02:17,838 --> 00:02:19,555 "Stab that baby." 54 00:02:23,427 --> 00:02:24,893 - Stupid. - That's a waste of money, dog. 55 00:02:24,929 --> 00:02:25,844 Stupid. 56 00:02:25,930 --> 00:02:27,483 See, I don't even understand 57 00:02:27,608 --> 00:02:29,280 how that's even in the horror genre, dog. 58 00:02:29,305 --> 00:02:30,065 Right? 59 00:02:30,101 --> 00:02:31,900 I mean, that's the least scared I ever been, man. 60 00:02:31,936 --> 00:02:33,068 It's like a romantic comedy. 61 00:02:33,104 --> 00:02:34,403 It's like a lullaby, dog. 62 00:02:34,438 --> 00:02:36,188 - Yeah, for reals though. - Pssh. 63 00:02:36,273 --> 00:02:37,856 Oh, oh, where you parked at? 64 00:02:37,942 --> 00:02:38,991 Oh, what now? 65 00:02:39,076 --> 00:02:40,076 Where you parked at, dog? 66 00:02:40,111 --> 00:02:41,276 Yeah, I'm over that way, boy. 67 00:02:41,362 --> 00:02:42,562 Oh, you all the way down there? 68 00:02:42,580 --> 00:02:44,029 - Yeah. - Well, I'm this way, dog. 69 00:02:44,115 --> 00:02:45,688 Oh, all right. All right, dog. 70 00:02:45,752 --> 00:02:46,669 All right. All right. 71 00:02:53,090 --> 00:02:54,373 - You know what? - What's that, dog? 72 00:02:54,458 --> 00:02:55,758 I'll walk you to your car, dog. 73 00:02:55,793 --> 00:02:57,042 - Word, word, word, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 74 00:02:57,128 --> 00:02:59,444 Then I'll drive you back to your car, dog. 75 00:03:00,464 --> 00:03:02,598 - Dumbass movie, man. - Nah. 76 00:03:02,633 --> 00:03:05,184 A demon can possess any inanimate object? 77 00:03:05,269 --> 00:03:08,354 That's too general to be scary. 78 00:03:08,439 --> 00:03:10,639 Yo, man, it's like, how you gonna have a demon 79 00:03:10,725 --> 00:03:12,441 posting up in a trash can? 80 00:03:12,476 --> 00:03:13,692 I mean, you know, it's dumb. 81 00:03:13,778 --> 00:03:15,277 - It don't make no sense. - It's stupid. 82 00:03:15,312 --> 00:03:17,229 - It don't make no sense. - You know what I'm saying? 83 00:03:17,314 --> 00:03:18,313 It's stupid. It's stupid. 84 00:03:18,399 --> 00:03:19,865 It's unrealistic is what it is. 85 00:03:19,950 --> 00:03:22,117 It's like, I ain't gonna be scared of no trash can. 86 00:03:24,321 --> 00:03:27,156 And what was that other thing they had with the, 87 00:03:27,241 --> 00:03:28,323 uh, the demon puddle? 88 00:03:28,409 --> 00:03:29,658 Oh, yeah, yeah. 89 00:03:29,744 --> 00:03:31,326 That was the most stupid part right there. 90 00:03:31,379 --> 00:03:34,546 A demon could pull you into hell if you step in a puddle. 91 00:03:34,632 --> 00:03:35,547 Like, we some morons? 92 00:03:35,633 --> 00:03:36,582 I mean, how you gonna scare 93 00:03:36,667 --> 00:03:38,500 a couple adults with a puddle? 94 00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:39,775 - Stupid. - Stupid. 95 00:03:40,504 --> 00:03:41,804 - Stupid. - Stupid. 96 00:03:41,839 --> 00:03:44,089 And the demon got them hellhounds roaming around 97 00:03:44,175 --> 00:03:46,175 everywhere, bringing humans to the demon alive 98 00:03:46,260 --> 00:03:47,176 to be sacrificed. 99 00:03:47,228 --> 00:03:48,177 Come on, man. 100 00:03:49,263 --> 00:03:50,596 That's just stupid! 101 00:03:50,681 --> 00:03:52,398 - Stupid. - Yeah. 102 00:03:52,483 --> 00:03:54,433 You know, it's like-- it's lazy storytelling... 103 00:03:54,518 --> 00:03:56,185 - Yes, yes. - Is what it is. 104 00:03:56,237 --> 00:03:59,488 It's a lot of things, but scary is not one of them. 105 00:04:00,608 --> 00:04:01,774 And what was with all them 106 00:04:01,859 --> 00:04:03,409 creepy kids and the whispering and whatnot? 107 00:04:03,494 --> 00:04:04,693 - Oh, please. - I mean, come on, dog. 108 00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:06,195 - Please, dude. - What are we talking about? 109 00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:08,600 You just identified, like, the stupidest part of the movie. 110 00:04:10,201 --> 00:04:11,761 Them kids-- Them kids was talking about, 111 00:04:11,836 --> 00:04:13,118 "I will steal your soul. 112 00:04:13,204 --> 00:04:14,870 I will suck your essence." 113 00:04:14,955 --> 00:04:16,288 Okay, yeah, that's stupid right there. 114 00:04:16,373 --> 00:04:18,207 You can stop right now, man, if you just wanted to-- 115 00:04:18,259 --> 00:04:19,425 - Please stop! - Yeah. 116 00:04:19,510 --> 00:04:20,876 - 'Cause it's stupid. - It was stupid. 117 00:04:20,961 --> 00:04:22,428 - It was stupid as hell. - It was stupid. 118 00:04:22,513 --> 00:04:24,046 - It was just stupid. What? - This your car? 119 00:04:24,098 --> 00:04:25,214 - This me, dog. - Yeah. 120 00:04:29,220 --> 00:04:31,220 Yeah, I hope there's not one of them demons 121 00:04:31,272 --> 00:04:32,187 possessing your car. 122 00:04:37,111 --> 00:04:38,591 I'm just stepping right now, for real. 123 00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:40,062 That's stupid. You being real stupid. 124 00:04:40,114 --> 00:04:41,063 I'm being stupid. 125 00:04:41,148 --> 00:04:42,228 That was the stupidest part 126 00:04:42,233 --> 00:04:43,449 of the movie right there, dog. 127 00:04:43,534 --> 00:04:44,700 I'm the one being stupid up in here. 128 00:04:44,735 --> 00:04:46,068 That was pretty stupid. 129 00:04:46,153 --> 00:04:48,237 That was the stupidest part right there, man. 130 00:04:48,289 --> 00:04:51,073 That part was--that movie was stupid as hell, man. 131 00:04:51,158 --> 00:04:53,990 Stupid. 132 00:04:54,959 --> 00:04:56,208 Stupid. 133 00:04:56,349 --> 00:04:57,913 That was the not-scariest part 134 00:04:57,998 --> 00:04:58,997 of the movie. 135 00:04:59,083 --> 00:05:00,215 Oh, my God. It was stupid. 136 00:05:00,251 --> 00:05:01,717 Like a demon could possess-- 137 00:05:01,752 --> 00:05:03,418 - I mean, it's so stupid. - That was so stupid. 138 00:05:03,504 --> 00:05:04,920 It was pretty stupid, though, dog. 139 00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:06,588 Oh, my God, that was stupid. 140 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:09,308 It was pretty stupid. 141 00:05:09,393 --> 00:05:10,309 You know what, man? 142 00:05:10,394 --> 00:05:11,760 I'm-- Shit, I'm sorry, dog, 143 00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:13,562 that you had to watch that dumb-ass not-scary movie. 144 00:05:13,597 --> 00:05:14,730 You know what I mean? 145 00:05:14,765 --> 00:05:15,731 Man, you know, that's how it go. 146 00:05:15,766 --> 00:05:16,732 That's how it go. 147 00:05:28,445 --> 00:05:30,195 Give yourself up, Carlo. 148 00:05:30,281 --> 00:05:31,780 Why would I do that, 149 00:05:31,866 --> 00:05:35,284 detective, when I have the upper hand? 150 00:05:46,714 --> 00:05:49,798 Give yourself up, Carlo. 151 00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:51,466 I'm right here, detective. 152 00:05:54,522 --> 00:05:56,104 Damn it. 153 00:05:56,140 --> 00:05:59,441 Or am I over here, detective? 154 00:06:10,571 --> 00:06:11,486 Or here? 155 00:06:14,959 --> 00:06:17,125 Oh, you sick son of a bitch, 156 00:06:17,161 --> 00:06:18,710 where the hell are you? 157 00:06:18,796 --> 00:06:21,046 Huh? 158 00:06:24,752 --> 00:06:26,468 Huh? 159 00:06:26,503 --> 00:06:28,420 You son of a bitch, come out! 160 00:06:28,505 --> 00:06:31,006 Does my ass look big in this jumpsuit? 161 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:33,508 Damn it. 162 00:06:38,816 --> 00:06:40,766 Enough of the games, Carlo. 163 00:06:44,355 --> 00:06:47,356 The games are just beginning, detective. 164 00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:57,666 Mirror, mirror, on the wall... 165 00:07:00,004 --> 00:07:01,370 Who's the fairest-- 166 00:07:01,455 --> 00:07:03,789 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 167 00:07:03,874 --> 00:07:06,375 Don't move. 168 00:07:06,797 --> 00:07:10,743 You are under arrest for the murder of Mary Deely, 169 00:07:11,599 --> 00:07:13,765 Meg Foster, 170 00:07:13,851 --> 00:07:17,013 and one detective Mason Jimenez. 171 00:07:18,472 --> 00:07:20,806 Now, where's the girl? 172 00:07:20,894 --> 00:07:22,894 Oh, detective, 173 00:07:23,228 --> 00:07:25,227 you assume it's the real me 174 00:07:25,312 --> 00:07:27,362 standing in front of you, 175 00:07:27,398 --> 00:07:29,531 but maybe that's just what 176 00:07:29,566 --> 00:07:32,651 I want you to thin-k. 177 00:07:32,736 --> 00:07:33,652 When in reality, 178 00:07:33,737 --> 00:07:36,071 the re-al me 179 00:07:36,156 --> 00:07:39,408 is safe in a hiding spah-ah-- ah-ah. 180 00:07:39,460 --> 00:07:41,774 Okay, that's the real you, all right. 181 00:07:43,631 --> 00:07:45,380 Or maybe I'm over here. 182 00:07:45,416 --> 00:07:46,999 No, no, you're not over there. 183 00:07:47,084 --> 00:07:48,917 Carlo, I'm only gonna ask you one more time. 184 00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:50,052 Where is the girl? 185 00:07:50,087 --> 00:07:52,054 Go ahead and shoot, detective. 186 00:07:53,641 --> 00:07:56,058 I mean, what do I care if you get seven years bad luck-- 187 00:07:57,728 --> 00:07:59,394 You know, it's not safe to keep a gun cocked like that, 188 00:07:59,430 --> 00:08:02,014 even if you are just pointing it at a mirror. 189 00:08:02,099 --> 00:08:06,151 Turn around and put your hands on your head. 190 00:08:06,236 --> 00:08:08,320 Now, for that, you really are going to have 191 00:08:08,405 --> 00:08:09,488 to find the real me. 192 00:08:09,573 --> 00:08:10,773 Oh, my God, are you kidding me? 193 00:08:13,494 --> 00:08:14,443 Pshht! 194 00:08:14,495 --> 00:08:15,661 What? 195 00:08:15,746 --> 00:08:17,279 Why would you shoot a mirror? 196 00:08:17,331 --> 00:08:18,280 Carlo, it's you. 197 00:08:18,332 --> 00:08:20,449 I'm holding your lapel. 198 00:08:20,501 --> 00:08:22,534 Now, you're done. It's over. 199 00:08:22,619 --> 00:08:25,003 You're gonna cut your hand on that broken mirror. 200 00:08:25,089 --> 00:08:26,755 Where is she? 201 00:08:26,790 --> 00:08:28,590 Just say it, dude. 202 00:08:28,625 --> 00:08:30,042 Say what? 203 00:08:30,127 --> 00:08:31,543 Say you don't know whether or not 204 00:08:31,628 --> 00:08:34,262 this is the real me or just a reflection in a mirror. 205 00:08:34,298 --> 00:08:35,931 Really? 206 00:08:35,966 --> 00:08:38,600 I'll tell you where she is. 207 00:08:38,635 --> 00:08:41,303 Okay, I don't know whether the you 208 00:08:41,355 --> 00:08:43,188 I'm holding onto is really you... 209 00:08:43,273 --> 00:08:44,473 Or the reflection in a mirror. 210 00:08:44,475 --> 00:08:46,024 Or a reflection in the mirror. 211 00:08:46,110 --> 00:08:48,060 Mm, all there was to it. 212 00:08:48,145 --> 00:08:50,228 She's under the floorboards by the entrance. 213 00:08:50,314 --> 00:08:53,398 Oh. 214 00:08:53,484 --> 00:08:55,484 I win, detective. 215 00:08:56,904 --> 00:08:59,321 I told you, but-- I mean, the mirror told you, 216 00:08:59,406 --> 00:09:01,206 but, well, you know. 217 00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:02,657 Oh, fuck. 218 00:09:06,545 --> 00:09:08,712 Would you rather be a vampire or a werewolf? 219 00:09:08,764 --> 00:09:12,048 Me? Oh, dude, straight up, let me get that vamp situation. 220 00:09:12,100 --> 00:09:13,300 You know why? 221 00:09:13,385 --> 00:09:16,186 It looks like it hurts to become a werewolf. 222 00:09:16,221 --> 00:09:17,220 True. 223 00:09:17,272 --> 00:09:19,367 That looks like it hurts, so a part of me goes, like, 224 00:09:19,391 --> 00:09:21,057 "I'd rather be hungry-- 225 00:09:21,109 --> 00:09:24,060 "I'd rather be intensely hungry 226 00:09:24,112 --> 00:09:26,563 than have my bones crack and then reset in the morning." 227 00:09:26,648 --> 00:09:27,897 Yeah, you don't want that. 228 00:09:27,949 --> 00:09:29,232 I don't-- I'm a wuss. 229 00:09:29,318 --> 00:09:30,867 - I don't need any of that. - Here's the thing. 230 00:09:30,902 --> 00:09:32,932 Vampires be living forever. 231 00:09:33,739 --> 00:09:35,538 I mean, you can't die as a vampire. 232 00:09:35,574 --> 00:09:37,574 But you could if you got a stake through the heart. 233 00:09:37,605 --> 00:09:38,742 - Truth. Truth. - So you could just say that. 234 00:09:38,794 --> 00:09:39,834 You could, "You know what? 235 00:09:39,878 --> 00:09:41,044 "I've been up in this bitch 236 00:09:41,079 --> 00:09:42,829 "800 years, ready to die." 237 00:09:42,914 --> 00:09:44,381 It's vampire suicide. 238 00:09:44,416 --> 00:09:46,132 But if I provoked a vampire hunter, 239 00:09:46,218 --> 00:09:47,738 and he just went s-slicing through my-- 240 00:09:47,753 --> 00:09:48,918 - Mm-hmm. - Good. 241 00:09:49,004 --> 00:09:50,754 Or I'd say to a person, "Listen, I'm a vampire. 242 00:09:50,839 --> 00:09:52,422 "I need you to come to this address tomorrow. 243 00:09:52,507 --> 00:09:53,673 "I'm gonna be in my coffin. 244 00:09:53,759 --> 00:09:54,759 "I'll leave it unlocked." 245 00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:57,060 And just get Kevorkian on it. 246 00:09:57,095 --> 00:09:58,478 Just go Kevorks. Wouldn't that be the best? 247 00:09:58,563 --> 00:10:02,932 Dude, that would be the best job for Dr. Kevorkian. 248 00:10:03,018 --> 00:10:04,851 Just be a vampire hunter. 249 00:10:06,605 --> 00:10:08,405 All right, so that's just working easily then. 250 00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:09,856 Go for it, man. 251 00:10:09,941 --> 00:10:11,061 Okay, good. Good, good, good. 252 00:10:11,109 --> 00:10:12,542 Oh, that's nuts, man. 253 00:10:12,611 --> 00:10:13,993 Okay, we got to hurry up. Bring on the weed. 254 00:10:14,079 --> 00:10:15,759 - Okay, just got to-- - Break it out there. 255 00:10:17,332 --> 00:10:18,782 - Hey. - Oh! 256 00:10:18,834 --> 00:10:20,168 Sorry. Sorry. 257 00:10:21,002 --> 00:10:24,454 You all want to do some of that God drug? 258 00:10:30,462 --> 00:10:31,428 No. 259 00:10:31,463 --> 00:10:32,462 What the fuck? 260 00:10:32,514 --> 00:10:33,630 Who's this guy? 261 00:10:33,715 --> 00:10:36,266 You all ever heard of the God drug? 262 00:10:36,301 --> 00:10:39,135 I've-- I've never heard of that. 263 00:10:39,221 --> 00:10:42,772 AKA slayer, cutty-cutty, 264 00:10:43,175 --> 00:10:45,586 double cutty, Elmo, 265 00:10:46,649 --> 00:10:48,233 cat vag. 266 00:10:48,363 --> 00:10:49,312 Okay. 267 00:10:49,398 --> 00:10:51,981 Long Island brain slice, 268 00:10:52,033 --> 00:10:53,700 Funt. 269 00:10:53,785 --> 00:10:54,984 - Funt? - Funt. 270 00:10:55,036 --> 00:10:56,653 Funt, I've heard of that. 271 00:10:56,738 --> 00:11:00,990 It takes all your greatest fears and insecurities, 272 00:11:01,076 --> 00:11:04,661 and it gives them teeth and arms, 273 00:11:04,713 --> 00:11:07,247 and then it locks you in a room with them 274 00:11:07,332 --> 00:11:10,250 from which you cannot escape. 275 00:11:13,171 --> 00:11:14,804 Oh, that sounds terrible. 276 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:17,140 - Yeah, I don't want that, man. - None of those words are good. 277 00:11:17,175 --> 00:11:20,343 You realize the face of God 278 00:11:20,395 --> 00:11:23,763 is somewhere inside your body, 279 00:11:23,849 --> 00:11:28,768 but you can't find it, and it hates you. 280 00:11:28,854 --> 00:11:31,488 Um, okay, none of us are interested in this drug. 281 00:11:31,523 --> 00:11:32,856 Thank you, sir. Nice meeting you. 282 00:11:32,908 --> 00:11:35,074 Let's hear him out. Let's hear him out. 283 00:11:35,160 --> 00:11:39,696 It's a razor sharp crystal you tuck under your eyelid. 284 00:11:39,781 --> 00:11:41,331 - Ooh. - Ugh. 285 00:11:41,366 --> 00:11:45,201 And then when your ocular cavity starts bleeding, 286 00:11:45,287 --> 00:11:47,921 It goes directly into your brain. 287 00:11:48,006 --> 00:11:49,956 I feel like there's got to be a good part. 288 00:11:50,041 --> 00:11:52,152 Yeah, you've just described 289 00:11:52,153 --> 00:11:55,713 a life-wrecking physical addiction. 290 00:11:55,714 --> 00:11:57,674 If you'd let him finish-- If you'd let him finish, 291 00:11:57,716 --> 00:12:00,099 he's gonna get to the euphoria, I'm sure. 292 00:12:00,185 --> 00:12:03,603 Just when you can't take any more, 293 00:12:04,723 --> 00:12:06,389 you poop your mouth. 294 00:12:06,441 --> 00:12:07,941 - I'm sorry, what? - You poop in your mouth? 295 00:12:08,026 --> 00:12:09,859 No, 296 00:12:09,895 --> 00:12:11,528 you poop out of your mouth. 297 00:12:11,563 --> 00:12:13,780 I'm in. 298 00:12:13,865 --> 00:12:15,482 Guys, if people will really go through this, 299 00:12:15,567 --> 00:12:16,804 the high must be amazing. 300 00:12:16,864 --> 00:12:18,535 Buddy, remember when you did mushrooms 301 00:12:18,570 --> 00:12:19,786 and you cried for three hours? 302 00:12:19,871 --> 00:12:20,904 - This is worse than that. - Yeah. 303 00:12:20,989 --> 00:12:22,739 - Oh, the eyes. 304 00:12:22,791 --> 00:12:24,741 Oh, oh! 305 00:12:25,961 --> 00:12:28,578 Oh, God! 306 00:12:28,663 --> 00:12:29,746 It hurts! 307 00:12:29,798 --> 00:12:32,298 - Oh, Jeb. - Oh, that hurts! 308 00:12:32,384 --> 00:12:34,417 When does it start working? 309 00:12:34,469 --> 00:12:36,135 How should I know? 310 00:12:36,221 --> 00:12:38,137 I don't do drugs. 311 00:12:39,391 --> 00:12:40,924 Drugs are for losers. 312 00:13:04,115 --> 00:13:05,395 This is him. 313 00:13:06,850 --> 00:13:08,002 Yeah, this is him. 314 00:13:08,201 --> 00:13:09,953 Well, I'm very sorry, sir. 315 00:13:10,038 --> 00:13:11,454 Hold on a second. 316 00:13:12,841 --> 00:13:14,079 Wait. 317 00:13:15,594 --> 00:13:17,043 Is this him? 318 00:13:17,128 --> 00:13:19,325 Oh, take your time, sir. There's no rush. 319 00:13:20,215 --> 00:13:22,382 Yes, yes, yes, it's definitely him. 320 00:13:22,467 --> 00:13:24,517 Okay, so if you make your way-- 321 00:13:24,603 --> 00:13:25,761 Wait. 322 00:13:26,638 --> 00:13:28,914 It seems like him. 323 00:13:30,809 --> 00:13:34,216 Yes, yes, it very much could be him. 324 00:13:37,148 --> 00:13:38,781 So this-- this is him? 325 00:13:38,980 --> 00:13:41,940 Although... Hmm. 326 00:13:43,705 --> 00:13:44,954 Let me just-- 327 00:13:50,819 --> 00:13:51,684 Okay, I'm sorry. 328 00:13:51,729 --> 00:13:53,028 Sir, I know that you're blind, 329 00:13:53,059 --> 00:13:54,347 but you're gonna have to make a decision. 330 00:13:54,392 --> 00:13:55,568 Oh, I'm not blind. 331 00:13:56,384 --> 00:13:58,251 Oh, thank God. 332 00:13:58,336 --> 00:13:59,761 I'm not a mortician. 333 00:14:00,505 --> 00:14:01,671 And I'm not dead, 334 00:14:02,364 --> 00:14:03,966 but please don't stop on my account. 335 00:14:15,514 --> 00:14:17,520 Shh. 336 00:14:17,667 --> 00:14:19,007 It's definitely not him. 337 00:14:19,180 --> 00:14:21,012 ...a brilliant charity idea, 338 00:14:22,101 --> 00:14:25,613 because really, I mean, it just looks real good. 339 00:14:26,021 --> 00:14:27,487 It looks real good. 340 00:14:27,573 --> 00:14:29,823 They get donations out their ass, Make-A-Wish. 341 00:14:29,909 --> 00:14:31,325 My thing is, I wonder if the Make-A-Wish people, like-- 342 00:14:31,410 --> 00:14:33,410 it's like, "oh, I'm gonna go parasailing with you." 343 00:14:33,445 --> 00:14:34,861 - Right. - That's my only thing. 344 00:14:34,947 --> 00:14:36,947 I'm like, "Wait a minute, do you get to go with the kid?" 345 00:14:37,032 --> 00:14:38,949 "I thought you just organized the wishes, but--" 346 00:14:39,001 --> 00:14:40,521 "And then you went back to your office. 347 00:14:40,586 --> 00:14:41,952 "Why are you up in there parasailing?" 348 00:14:42,037 --> 00:14:43,503 "Why are you going first? What the hell? 349 00:14:43,589 --> 00:14:44,705 "I'm the kid." 350 00:14:44,790 --> 00:14:46,501 "Are you sure that this kid's wish 351 00:14:46,595 --> 00:14:50,460 was to go to the bikini contest at carnival in Brazil?" 352 00:14:50,512 --> 00:14:52,346 - They could be making that up. - Who knows, right? 353 00:14:52,431 --> 00:14:54,181 I'm not gonna just start giving all my money 354 00:14:54,266 --> 00:14:58,268 to people I don't know, right? 355 00:14:58,304 --> 00:14:59,386 - I mean, that doesn't-- - Right. 356 00:14:59,471 --> 00:15:01,805 Well, that's-- 357 00:15:01,890 --> 00:15:03,307 That's charity. 358 00:15:10,249 --> 00:15:13,984 Hi, you must be Liam. 359 00:15:14,036 --> 00:15:16,301 Hey, buddy, how are you feeling today? 360 00:15:17,990 --> 00:15:20,730 I'm feeling fine, Dr. Gupta. 361 00:15:21,493 --> 00:15:23,327 Just fine. 362 00:15:23,379 --> 00:15:24,828 This is Marion Glass, 363 00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:26,830 and she's from the Make-A-Wish foundation. 364 00:15:26,915 --> 00:15:29,833 Marion Glass. 365 00:15:29,885 --> 00:15:32,219 How are you feeling today, Liam? 366 00:15:32,815 --> 00:15:36,139 - I'm fine, Marion Glass. - Good. 367 00:15:36,175 --> 00:15:37,924 Well, I have some news that might make you feel 368 00:15:38,010 --> 00:15:39,893 a little better, huh? 369 00:15:39,979 --> 00:15:43,063 We at the Make-A-Wish Foundation make dreams come true 370 00:15:43,148 --> 00:15:47,934 for little boys and little girls who are very sick just like you. 371 00:15:48,020 --> 00:15:52,823 There are no children like me, Marion Glass. 372 00:15:52,858 --> 00:15:55,025 Oh, of course not. 373 00:15:55,110 --> 00:15:57,694 You're one of a kind, but we're gonna make any dream 374 00:15:57,780 --> 00:16:00,197 come true that you could ever have, okay? 375 00:16:00,282 --> 00:16:01,782 Anything? 376 00:16:01,867 --> 00:16:04,368 That's right, buddy. That's right. 377 00:16:04,420 --> 00:16:07,087 Would you like to play with your favorite basketball team? 378 00:16:09,875 --> 00:16:12,313 What about be Superman for a day? 379 00:16:13,045 --> 00:16:16,046 I wish to drown a man. 380 00:16:20,135 --> 00:16:21,051 What? 381 00:16:21,136 --> 00:16:25,355 To drown a man in the bathtub. 382 00:16:25,391 --> 00:16:28,608 To hold him down while the last breath 383 00:16:28,694 --> 00:16:32,863 escapes his body, and then bathe in that water, 384 00:16:32,898 --> 00:16:34,564 all the while singing, 385 00:16:34,650 --> 00:16:38,618 ♪ La-la, la-la ♪ 386 00:16:38,704 --> 00:16:40,871 ♪ La-la, la ♪ 387 00:16:40,906 --> 00:16:43,156 Liam. 388 00:16:43,242 --> 00:16:46,243 You said anything. 389 00:16:46,295 --> 00:16:49,413 Well, s-surely we don't want to hurt other people, 390 00:16:49,498 --> 00:16:50,964 Now, do we, kiddo? 391 00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:53,550 Anything else? 392 00:16:53,585 --> 00:16:57,220 Fly in a hot air balloon or meet a celebrity? 393 00:16:57,256 --> 00:17:01,925 My new wish is to lean over the body of a dying man 394 00:17:01,977 --> 00:17:06,263 and put my lips on his, stealing his last breath. 395 00:17:07,599 --> 00:17:08,732 Liam. 396 00:17:08,767 --> 00:17:10,817 No one will get hurt. 397 00:17:10,903 --> 00:17:12,102 Absolutely not. 398 00:17:12,187 --> 00:17:14,261 I don't even know where you-- 399 00:17:14,315 --> 00:17:18,150 I wish to take all the prosthetic legs 400 00:17:18,219 --> 00:17:22,195 in the hospital and bind them together 401 00:17:22,281 --> 00:17:25,332 with the dried flesh of the dead 402 00:17:25,883 --> 00:17:29,833 into a webbed massive creature, 403 00:17:29,889 --> 00:17:31,806 - and-- - Liam! 404 00:17:32,791 --> 00:17:35,459 - I am so sorry, Ms. Glass. - It's all right. 405 00:17:35,511 --> 00:17:37,461 He-- He doesn't know what he's saying. 406 00:17:37,546 --> 00:17:39,346 I wish to pee in your mouth. 407 00:17:39,431 --> 00:17:41,047 - What? - Both of you. 408 00:17:41,133 --> 00:17:42,215 Mine? 409 00:17:42,301 --> 00:17:44,134 - Especially you. - Oh. 410 00:17:44,219 --> 00:17:46,989 I wish to pee in both of your mouths 411 00:17:47,606 --> 00:17:49,272 As I stand over you. 412 00:17:49,308 --> 00:17:52,109 I'll need a glass of water in ten minutes. 413 00:17:52,144 --> 00:17:53,193 Enough, you little shit! 414 00:17:53,278 --> 00:17:54,478 Dr. Gupta! 415 00:17:54,530 --> 00:17:56,062 No. 416 00:17:56,148 --> 00:17:57,280 You are reprehensible. 417 00:17:57,316 --> 00:17:59,316 You are evil. 418 00:17:59,401 --> 00:18:01,318 You are a devil child. 419 00:18:02,871 --> 00:18:04,815 Dr. Gupta, he's not a devil child. 420 00:18:04,865 --> 00:18:06,228 He's just a child. 421 00:18:06,347 --> 00:18:08,516 You have no business working in a pediatric ward. 422 00:18:08,567 --> 00:18:09,960 - What? - I'm gonna report you. 423 00:18:16,187 --> 00:18:20,129 ♪ Shame on you, Gupta ♪ 424 00:18:20,761 --> 00:18:24,196 ♪ Shame on you, Gupta ♪ 425 00:18:24,893 --> 00:18:28,512 You really upset Marion Glass. 426 00:18:28,597 --> 00:18:33,483 This is insane. 427 00:18:33,519 --> 00:18:36,561 You've made me question everything that I've ever 428 00:18:36,659 --> 00:18:40,502 believed about the essential goodness of children. 429 00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:44,422 Wish granted. 430 00:19:05,133 --> 00:19:06,550 I am dying though. 431 00:19:19,582 --> 00:19:20,548 Hi, Quentin. 432 00:19:20,583 --> 00:19:22,299 Oh, doctor. 433 00:19:22,385 --> 00:19:24,335 I just wanted to report that the surgery went off 434 00:19:24,420 --> 00:19:26,720 without a hitch and that your heart transplant 435 00:19:26,756 --> 00:19:28,472 was a complete success. 436 00:19:28,558 --> 00:19:32,309 Oh, I'm so happy to be alive. 437 00:19:32,395 --> 00:19:33,354 I bet. I bet. 438 00:19:33,375 --> 00:19:35,474 Well, thankfully the Affordable Health Care act 439 00:19:35,512 --> 00:19:37,598 allowed you to be insured and put on a donor list 440 00:19:37,683 --> 00:19:39,850 even with your preexisting conditions. 441 00:19:39,936 --> 00:19:43,571 I'm truly, truly thankful. 442 00:19:43,606 --> 00:19:47,191 This is an instance of Obamacare literally saving a life. 443 00:19:47,276 --> 00:19:49,493 Obamacare? 444 00:19:49,579 --> 00:19:51,495 Oh, no, you don't. 445 00:19:51,581 --> 00:19:56,216 You are not putting Big Government into my body. 446 00:20:01,207 --> 00:20:02,172 Ugh. 447 00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:07,461 Oh! 448 00:20:18,901 --> 00:20:21,642 Um, could-- could you go get me some ice? 449 00:20:21,727 --> 00:20:24,395 We should probably save this. 450 00:20:30,736 --> 00:20:32,152 But what scares you? 451 00:20:32,204 --> 00:20:34,038 Because, I mean, I know that you're a connoisseur. 452 00:20:34,123 --> 00:20:36,490 I know that you get scared, but you're also a connoisseur. 453 00:20:36,542 --> 00:20:40,244 Mm... 454 00:20:41,587 --> 00:20:43,570 Poverty. 455 00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:46,667 The injustices of the real world. 456 00:20:46,752 --> 00:20:47,700 Oh, my God. 457 00:20:47,881 --> 00:20:49,949 ♪ I'm gonna do my one line here ♪ 458 00:20:49,950 --> 00:20:51,726 Oh, yeah! 459 00:20:51,762 --> 00:20:53,611 Sync & corrections by dwigt addic7ed.com